Should You Listen to Your Parents?
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- Опубліковано 29 лип 2013
- In response to a viewer message I made this video about my experience leaving high school.
Vlogbrothers 'What to do with your life' bit.ly/163573L
Filmed on the walk from my house down to the local beach in West Vancouver.
Music: Woman Woman Inst. by Little Comets licensed from www.cuesongs.com/
It's tricky for everyone that's for sure. Everything takes time and there are no wasted years - they all make you who you are. So enjoy it and be sure when you finish to do something you're passionate about!
I love your videos and you inspire me. Love from Kolkata, India.
@@rishavkhandelwal9737 yo
Why is this comment dead?
And make sure to remimber, school IS important.
Absolutely! Thank you so much!
that guy on the bike hahahaha
Richard Wilson i would've punishe him if i could
+Richard Wilson Good thing there wasn't a train in the following scene.
+Richard Wilson Where?
+Ibrahim Ansari 1:13
Finlay Mcintosh More like 1:14.
"Parents DO want the best for us" - Depends on the parents; and even if they want the best for us, what they want isn't necessarily always the best for us.
Parents want to prepare you for the future. Sometimes they get a bit overboard and they want you to be better than your parents so they try to point and influence you in the way they dream you to be. Because parents treat us like a sulpture, they want us to point us in the right way (or what they think is the right way) and sometimes they're kind of presice because they're kind of scared. Think about it, let's say you drop a half-grown dog in a forest and you prepared it the best you can. Wether or not you perepared him enough, you're still gonna be scared. Sometimes you're gonna be harsh. but sometimes it's fine. For example, my parent's pound the fact that I have to be completely nice and not afraid of the world and be obident to the laws of nature (be kind to others, people are dumb but a group of individuals are smart, etc.) and really they sometimes tell me, when they die you have to suit up and do whatever the heck you wish to desire no matter what the cause. Some parents are opened ranged and inteeligent and want us to do good but some are just scared and want us to follow a "rulebook to life". Either way, they care for us and although they want us to be obident, they are scared will be scared to death to find us "not ready" and naive.
They know whats best for us... In their time when they were our age
Hayate no gotoku came to mind upon seeing this comment. Lol.
Gyzyn Such wisdom.
Very true. I think my story exemplifies the last point very well, so I'd like to share it.
I got diagnosed with autism at age 12, but my mom has for most of my life simply denied that this was actually the case. She just thought that it was a label that would help me get resources to be more productive, but that I was truly as capable as she was.
To her credit, she did essentially just see the best in me. Technically I can present myself like society wants me to, cook a meal, keep my room neat and follow a study. And maybe I can even do all of them simultaneously if I give it 110% (a saying which I normally hate, but here it works)... But over time, the 10% extra adds up until I'm completely drained of energy and crash halfway through.
The problem is that I'm both the best of me *and* the worst of me. By seeing only the first, my mom saw me rising as normal and me crashing as an anomaly. Under these rules, I only felt lazy and incompetent, as I couldn't keep up the ideal that I was supposed to be able to reach.
Now I set the bar myself, I get to do it according to my own energy levels by only keeping the habits I think I truly need. For example, I've cut out waxing/shaving, only clean up mess that bothers me (or will get worse over time, like food) and buy instant meals instead of cooking. I'm also taking major tasks one at a time, so I paused my study until I'm satisfied with processing a trauma that had kept me distracted. It won't make me look as productive, but it gives me time to regain energy and think about what the next step I want to take is.
In conclusion, my choice of life will never be as upwards a slope as how my mother envisions how I'm supposed to live. But then, even though the upwards trajectory of the slope I'm on is barely noticeable, I know it's the best choice, because it's not on its way to crash.
Does anyone else think how lucky this guy is to have a real choice between Medicine and Engineering physics?
James Darkwood he's not lucky, he's worked hard for what he has.
I really don't believe that, universities in my country now have different results required based on the school you've went to so those who are disadvantaged can still make it.
***** In American one semester in a decent college could be $30,000
Jellies Designs Well that's unfortunate for Americans.
Indeed
for the record, they moved to West Vancouver in the 70's when it was not the place it is today. And yes they wanted the best for me - they wanted to make sure I continued on with my education and they're right, it's important. But it's also important to be passionate about what you do.
My story: I was super into music & computers when I was a kid. My mom had an apple ii because she was a teacher & the school let her use a b/w one all year & a color one over the summer. This was the late 80s. Anyway, my dad used to chase me off the computer and make me go outside & play basketball. He told me computers were a niche thing & that there was no future in them. My best friend has the same story except his parents let him play on the computer all he wanted. Today, I am 38 and I work in restaurants. Mostly bussing tables & washing dishes. My best friend? He makes over $100k a year in computers. Parents don't know you and their good intentions can be kerosene on your plans even if they mean well.
I'm sorry Mickey, hope you can sort of solve your life's point or at least find out in what else are you good at and happy with, I think money is much more important than doing what you want, but with money you live and I'm only 18 y/o so I don't know that much about life :/
Ricardo Alarcón I feel bad someone actually read my sob story. I don't even remember writing it. I was just feeling bad for myself. sorry to waste your time. do what you love and money will come.
Ricardo, you are a wise young man, because you know that you don't know. Keep that. Cherish it. The people who don't know and know it prosper in wisdom-though not necessarily with money.
***** I made poor choices for a long time. now it's simply too expensive and I don't know when I'd make the time. time gets away from you. at some point it does become too late.
Mickey G It's never too late man, for example, if you have more important things to worry about, or there are people that depends on you like childs or a wife, or maybe you support a realtive, then you have priorities and I know that at that very point is not that easy to just make a 180 degree turn but, if you don't have to worry about all that stuff maybe it's not too late, you can always go somewhere to practice something else. I'm from Mexico and thanks god I live in one of the main cities like Monterrey, but I can assume that were you live is much more urbanized than almost anywhere on my Country, and even though the complications on not living on a first world country I can guarantee that you have more oportunities to succes than the ones that I have. For real. Just try something new, seriously or at least on the meantime. I hope you can discover soon something great to do instead of your job, I'm not changing my google account so, if you find it, tell me, even in 11 years or whatever. Sorry for my bad English :D
"Don't you want your parents to be proud of you?"
"No, I want _me_ to be proud of me."
Well, when you study what you're really passionate about you're going to end up making your parents proud in the long term
I never understood this as a life goal for some people.
@@theapocilip I think what it is is that for better or worse, youre stuck with the family you have. People who youve spent years living with or have a blood relation to are a very limited resource, so I think that creates a fundamental investment. As you get older your experiences compared to those of your friends diverge, but with family, by the time youre out of the house you have ~20 years of relatable experience together, plus a stronger genetic connection than with most people. Humans are social creatures. I think its healthy to care about the people around you so much, especially parents when they take care of you for so long I figure youd feel at least some obligation of reciprocity in addition to everything else. Humans are social we care about the needs and wants of the people around us and they care about ours in return and we're stronger that way. Of course everything in moderation you dont wanna go overboard with codependency but id say theres definitely a non 0 healthy amount of it
What a loser
Ok
I'm a parent, and here's the advice I gave my kids (and anyone else who will listen). But first, consider this--I've been alive for twice as long as my kids and done twice at much in life. So, maybe I've learned a thing or two in that time. I hope I have.
Suggestion 1) Pick something for a career that has at least half a chance at making a living. If you don't think the thing you want to do will make much money, then get creative and tell me a novel way to do what you want to make a living. Always use your brain.
Suggestion 2) Within the scope of the above, pick something you LOVE to do. Because, if you are going to be successful at it then you are going to do a LOT of it! If you don't love what you do then you'll get sick of it long before you become successful at it.
Suggestion 3) Try to be the best at whatever you do. Even if you never ARE the best, then at least you are TRYING to be your best. And that's OK, because you LOVE it, right? RIGHT?
And one other thing to remember. If you love physics, but your parents want you to be a doctor then surprise them. There are so many jobs that combine multiple disciplines, you could use your knowledge of physics to design some kind of medical appliance. Or go into nuclear physics, then go into nuclear medicine and create nuclear elements for medical use. Wouldn't THAT surprise your parents???!!! :-)
As a parent, I'd never suggest being a doctor, unless it's a real passion (though I'm glad some do!!!) There are just so many negative things to consider, long, long hours (which take a toll on your body), high insurance costs, getting sued, owing a LOT of money for school, and one little mistake and your career is ruined. You could spend a lot less money and become a physical therapist, for example, spend less on school and still make a very comfortable living.
I hope those are some helpful things to think about.
thanks for the advice sir!
Really resonated with me, thank you very much sir.
One other thing. As a parent I just can't understand parents who tell their kids what to become in life. How are they supposed to know what their kids will enjoy and excel at?
"I really wanted my kid to be a doctor, but he wouldn't listen to me, and instead he created Amazon.com. I'm so disappointed... How will I ever explain it to my friends at the country club?" Oh, come on!
I am proud of my kids, just for trying to do a good job. If they manage to stay out of jail and not be a burden to society then they deserve some praise.
Goodness knows, it's all I can do to get through life some days.
Thanks for the positive comments!
Thanks sir
@@jmoser1030 Too many parents cross the fine line of parenting and living your child's life for them
don't try to achieve your dreams by ur kids
That's what i should tell my dad
Thank you Aslam
Yeah
That's how I destroyed my life
-school
Im incredibly happy that my parents always leave me my free decisions but help me out with the path I choose.
Quote from Kotaro Isaka: 'It is horrifying just to think of it that one doesn't have to pass a test to become a parent.' I grew up in a big family with a lot of relatives and I've witnessed lives ruined by terrible parents, luckily mine is not one of them.
I have always been an A-student, but I play a lot of music.
When I was done with high school I wanted to play music, but my dad "forced" me to go to university.
This year I finished became an engineer in Denmark.
At my exam my dad came and was so proud he cried during a speech, and gave me an old expensive Fender Stratocaster, and said: "Here son. Now you can become a musician and play every day"
Now I work at one of the biggest engineering firms, and I love it so much! and still play every day
Noice!!!!!! That's the spirit!
I am a surgeon that followed my passions for psychology and music through 6 years of undergraduate school. I realized that the skills I learned playing in bands and studying the multiple wonders of the mind have helped create a very effective not too typical surgeon. Keeping your eyes open to what you are good at and what inspires your curiosity is key to a happy purposeful life. (In my humble opinion)
You have amazing speaking skills.
Im watching this video a year from the last time, and i made a similar decision. Last year, i was an engineering major, and i was honestly extremely depressed. I couldn't stand most of the courses, except for the maths courses. I wasn't failing any of the courses, but i just couldn't sit through the classes without feeling forced to be there. Right now, im a proud pure mathematics major and my decision was partially influenced by this video. I honestly couldnt be happier right now. Thank you, Derek.
I got lucky knowing that the only path for me was being an airline pilot... Ever since I was a little kid I didn't just want to be, I had to be an airline pilot...And I had the same quells you did Derek, I remember having a bad training day and looking up at the dark ceiling wondering "what the hell am I doing? Is this even the right path for me?" But every break I took I wanted it more. I even took a a 6 month hiatus to go and live with a girlfriend in Berlin... But every time I wanted to come back to it... Every time... In the words of Bill Burr "there's really no risk when you go after a dream, it always leads to something good, there is a tremendous amount of risk in playing it safe that leads to unbelievable levels of regret."
+codzomz I hope you continue to be happy. I'm always lifted up (and also envious of) by people who know what they want from day 1.
Same for me, only career I can think of is being an airline pilot. So I sent in papers, if I get in the training program that's what I'm going to focus on. If not, then I'll pursue my other dream which is to become a music producer. Reason I said "only career" because making a career out of music production is unlikely but I'm willing to try it if other things don't work out.
Ive always wanted to be a pilot, But I got discouraged looking at costs of learning, low pay, moving so much etc. I have got my heart set on computer science now, but in a way, I wish I had never discovered how hard it is to be a pilot, I love flying.
Never "choose" something because your parents want you to. Doesn't matter what it is, doesn't matter how disappointed they might be. It's your life. You will never be happy if you do. You will always be stuck with their ideas, not yours. Eventually they will die (spoiler?) and you will continue to live not having anyone to please. Lucky if you still be young and enthusiastic enough to catch up to your dreams. Or will be able to merge them the way Derek did.
eventually they will die? cheers for ruining my week. if they will eventually die would you want them dying disappointed in you? blaming themselves for raising you wrong?
IsItPossible I understand your upset and here is what I want you to think about. First: "During times of peace, the sons bury their fathers, but in war it is the fathers who send their sons to the grave.” -Herodotus. Which one do you prefer? Second: Being disappointed and "raising you wrong", it's all relative. Are you absolutelly sure the parents know what is best for their children? They will act to the best of THEIR understanding. And it might not be the best for you at all. Would you rather be taught of how to buy a table or how to make one? If you teach youself how to make one and they are blaming themselves because you are not buying it then maybe they missed the point of being a parent and it was all wrong since the very beginning (which is 2-3 generations back). The point is, to put it bluntly, to raise a self sufficient, self-determined, self respectfull human being that will help them and the rest of the world to live. It is not to raise one or two pocket gnomes that will serve and entertain the parents till the end of their days. Off course the parents might protest that it's not going according to their plan, but what about YOUR plan? Some might say that you have to respect your parrents, and they're right - you have to. But there is a difference between respecting them and respecting their will towards you. A clear line must be drawn here. Think of it this way: a child tells to his parrents that he will build a 5 storey house out of marmalade for their family to live in. Obviously the parrents think that this is a wacky idea, but they don't love their child any less. Why can't it be the other way around as well?
Thank you. I really needed this.
I agree you man!
Guy A: It is at times like this I wish I had listened to what my mother always used to tell me.
Guy B: Why? What did she say?
Guy A: I don't know I wasn't listening.
ahh times like when you're about to be thrown out of a vogon construct fleet aye
alright arthur
The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
100th like
Here's what I always say: What's the point of doing something for the money when money is used to pay for what you enjoy anyways? Why not cut out the middle man and do what you enjoy without that extra money (and more time)?
I believe this holds true so long as you make ENOUGH money for necessities.
brilliant
Because it is true if and only if you have the money in the first place, which is easier said than done.
Except that most artists barely make enough for the necessities. And no money is left to invest in their arts that they need to further their career.
*you know, I always realized/thought this but could never put it into words for my dad. I love things that just seem not to make much money. But at least Aviation and video are pretty compatible!* 😂 great thought thanks for sharing!
Aren't people tired of hearing you say that if you're always saying it? Do you say other things as well sometimes?
I love the way he ended this video. Simply video footage of the water and the sky and his environment, I've seen him do this in a few of his videos and I hope he continues to do so.
I personally have so many interests but I simply can't decide which of those interests stand out more so than my other interests. There is no one interest I have that effects me so much more greatly than another interest of mine and because of that I am lost as to what I really want to do with my life. The great thing about my mother is she doesn't really try to influence any of my interests, she doesn't try and push me in one way or another. The problem depicted in this video is one I'll never have to encounter, thankfully.
Paradite I have the same problem. Too many interests.
same problem here.
So hard to concentrate on what he says when i am afraid he is gonna get ran over by a train
lol same
Antonis Tsenes if he got ran over by a train , who's gonna post it ?
Talking about responsibility while walking on railroad tracks =8-0)
@@x_x5009 The train?
I agree, Pursue your dreams. I have a degree in poli sci. I had a well paying job as a salesman but I got bored. Then I moved to Mexico and taught English. Now I'm going to move back to the USA and get a degree in biomechanical engineering. I love what I have done with my life. I pursued my dreams and I don't regret it one bit.
well done
Wow. Quite adventurous! 10/10 bio for a tinder profile. XD
Thought this was going to be more philosophical, rather than just about school.
5 years later, I find myself in the same place as the student you responded to. This was a reassuring video. Thank you
same here
1:13 "IIIIIHHHHH" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This guy was right to do what he wanted, surgeons make 5-6 times more than physicists but doing something you hate is not worth money because your life and time are limited.
Everyone should take time off when they graduate high school because you need some life experience.
Majority of the doctors get into medicine purely of financial reasons. And it's fine. It pays well.
oh....i started to cry in disappointment after i watched the video...
i dreamt of being a particle physicist..but i was pushed into computer science .....
now i am studying the course with utter disappointment in my life and my choice.Now i realised that i should sometimes go in my way...and where my heart says;_;
Probably to late to reply but why are you dissapointed in computer science? Is it that bad bc im thinking of becoming computer scientist in the future
seems like computer science would be real helpful in physics?
@@wesker6908 he means he ain't interested in studying computer science
It is so strong, I have just actually bursted into tears when I was watching the end of the video. This is a masterpiece and I really want you to make more video in this format. Thanks for helping me to lead my life to the best future I can imagine!
My mum wanted me to do engineering or law. I got into engineering, but decided to do History. When I graduated it was tough getting a well paid job, in fact to this day I still work poorly paying jobs. But I am about to get into a more professional field with additional training in History. So I guess it works out in the end. But like Derek said, make sure that if you do what you love, you are doing it for passion and not for the comfortable life and paycheck. Because the paycheck and comfortable life may not come.
If I did as my gut commands then I will weigh 500 kg before the end of the year XD
xDdddd
DXD X DDX X XX XdXxXX XxxfxdxdDxDD xXDdxDXdDxdXddxXDd
hehe
nice nice
try a faecal transplant
Coming back to this video after almost a decade, it's stuck to me very much. It might be one of my favourite videos of yours, thank you!
You’re inspiring me and making me open up my mind in so many ways. And the fact that you take the time to address these things (all things life you talk about also excluding physics) makes me feel fortunate to stumble upon you even as a person. Keep making content like this.
I wish you all the happiness and success in life.
And thank you!
A small loan of $5000
Hhahaahahahahhahahaahahahahahaha my thouhts.
Shad0w@CS:GO yo is 20 chins okay?
That actually is a pretty small loan.
@@svendinsvinderlin4569 also not a loan, it was a gift.
that guy on the bike lol 1:13
Haha
Neeeeh
Squealer lmao
*"REEEE"*
"YEEEET"
You are the MOST supportive person with large audience I know! Somehow you manage to retain the interpersonal style of talking despite having millions of people watching you. It feels like you and I are sitting in the same room by the fireplace and you're giving me the most valuable life advice I've ever heard. Thank you!
I am an engineering student, I entered into electrical engineering because my dad is an electrical engineer, I didn't like it at first, but now it is my hobby, I love engineering more than anything else, do not follow your passions, but let your passions follow whatever you think is right even if you don't like it at first.
Since when is physics not a good degree??
***** It's a good degree, its just very hard to get a good job. Science jobs (in research/academia) typically require government grants in order to keep the research going and to make a living. In countries like australia, the government has to many economic preconceptions and bias that lean towards fields of science which benifit, for example, mining.
Ok, but physics is a really diverse field of study. I feel like i'd be able to get a job in just about any industry or any employment sector with all the knowledge. The only problem i'm worried about is like you said, its hard finding a GOOD job, especially with only a say, Bachelor's degree.
I guess it all depends on what you want to do. If you are dead keen on astrophysics like myself, you are going to have a hard time finding a nice steady job in what you love to do.
jaydozz Thanks for the feedback, but I also have another issue, I don't know which I love more between computer science and physics...
porque no los dos!? Those two subject go beautifully together! and most universities offer duel degrees or double majors in thos feilds (or at the very least the option to take it as a minor). Most physics courses teach you basic programming (matlab, python, and so on), and I background in computer science is brilliant when starting these courses (although not neccesary). dual degrees help to open doors and expand horizons in careers, and as you rightly pointed out, both of the subjects show aptitude in problem solving and complex thinking.
Maybe that guy will invent a new awesome surgical device?
physicists and surgeons are 2 different things
technichy Doesn't mean that they don't relate to each other. Science is in every aspect of our life though.
iwan nenam this channel has to do with physics... not surgery/medical treatment
technichy what is wrong with you
pkay dennis. That guy insists that medical treatments have nothing to do with science.
Why do I feel intrinsically happy every time at the end of your videos? I just love that!
Haven’t seen this side of Derek, lately. Always a pleasure to see this kind of topic on his videos. The ending sequence with Wild Comets’s Woman Woman just sums it up; melancholy and hopeful mood. Thanks Derek!
Derek: Making one of his amazing and deep speeches
Random biker: RReeeeeeKKKKKKKh!!!
Derek: O_0!
One of the most inspiring youtube person. you're a legend dude. I have been watching your videos for quite a while now. keep it up:)
Derek, you're awesome. Just wanted to thank you for inspiring all of us with your amazing videos.
Thanks from a Spain.
You are the best, Derek.
The ending shots and music combo is just brilliant.
Did anyone else get terribly distracted by the fact he was walking on train tracks?
Mostafa Rizk Oh man if somebody near him said "I like trains"... bye bye Veritasium.
Mostafa Rizk Might have been derelict.
Mostafa Rizk i was hopeing the train will arive in time
Its a joke dont get triggerd
Physics is NOT a waste of time! I might be sounding like an elitist, and this is definitely biased, but Physics in the most advanced, complex, and "pure" form of science. as an unnamed fellow internet physicist said, "Physics is the ultimate french kiss with Mother Nature. It is a glimpse into the soul of the universe."
I would say physics is the most practical form of science.
Physics is understanding Nature, rather than just being on the receiving end of it.
Mathmathmath
Fredrick Everson an engineering student here said agree to you
Arts - study of your subjective personal tastes
Social Science - study of a group of people's subjective personal taste
Biology - study of a group of people's objective traits (or physiology)
Genetics - study of an individual cell's objective traits
Chemistry - study of the compounds that makes living and non-living matter
Physics - study of all matter and energy within the universe
Mathematics - pure Science, create your own theoretical universe
That view in the end was absolutely breathtaking. Love your videos.
Thanks so much for this and all your videos. I'm studying medicine and plan to become a surgeon at the moment but was obsessed with film, literature and architecture in high school and still am. I don't regret my choice and i'm loving my course. My plan is to get involved in summer film productions with friends and to scratch my architecture itch when i get enough for my own home. Your optimism and view of the future is really encouraging.
I wish my parents had enough money to force me to go to school.
What country are you from? I'm guessing it's not an amazingly advanced one bcause In all the countries surrounding (and including) mine... Education is free. Hell, there are families that earn 1/2 or 1/3 of my parent's income (we're just slightly above average) that are given Laptops/iPads for free by the government.
Thing is, that tech the government is spending tax money on is basically wasted, the education system isn't any where near strong enough (in terms of curriculum) to make use of it. Not in the slightest.
If you have any kind of mental illness, education in a first world country is hell. Proper hell. But that would send me off on a rant.
But hey, you have a computer, I presume? One capable of using regular web pages. If you've ever been interested in web development or software engineering as a career, try www.codecademy.com. We used it at college and I can honestly recommend the HTML/CSS course. Python is more of a group effort to figure things out because of how complicated it is.
Good luck. If anything, education when you have a computer instead is a hinderance.
Seriosly your parents dont have money to send u to school? But u got maybe mobile or laptop or something on which u r seeing this video and commenting on it.you have access to internet but your dont have enough money to send u to school. I think u quit school bcoz u dont like go there and u r saying that u wish that your parents forced u to go to school.plz dont tell me this shit that your parents dont have enough money to send u to school
Siddharth Singh A laptop is a few hundred, while schooling is a more than a few thousand
Shotzeethegamer I don't think they're from the US. They don't understand that college is $20,000 per year for a very cheap school, and that some are $60,000 per year or more.
Igit Igit In England you don't have to pay straight away.
I'm 27 and still struggling to give my life any kind of value. I don't mean value to society, I have a mind numbing job like every other wage slave out there. I mean value to myself.
+blackandcold I need help. you know how he said he just went through the four years tolerating it? I'm (hopefully) going into med school in a few months, and I'm just wondering if I should. it's gonna be 12 years of my life. (some background: Im from India. pretty good academically. also I don't know what I'd do if I don't do medicine)
+lollipophugo m.reddit.com/r/DeepThoughts/comments/46rk4y/suddenly_interjected_an_essay/
The meaning of life only comes after the small successes first. Caveman had to make spears to survive before we could make guns to kill. Everything worthwhile and big always starts small, and gets better as you go.
Please bring this channel back!! We need it most! Thanks
nice work derek. you just changed someone's life. proud of you man.
Thank you Derek for this awesome video!
I can totally relate to having some trouble with the parents. My sister and I have grown up quite independently from our parents, resulting in us having different interests. They wanted us to become businessmen, so we could make lots of money, but we were passionate at very different things: me in physics and engineering, and my sister in art and animation. When the time came I strongly strove for my passion, regardless of my parent's words, and it's been great ever since.
Hope you visit UBC again!
Business men??? Oh my god... Who wants their children to grow up to be life less, clueless morons who sell hot air?
I thoroughly despise investment bankers, fortune 500 managers, insurance people, sales people. Money for nothing that is their vision. And look what it brought us a global economic crisis.
I am glad you and your sister chose what feels right to you. And engineering has always been kind to me.
My story so far: well I've always been interested in physics, in school, in high school, however when it came to a bachelor's degree everyone suggested me to do engineering and not science (physics), I'm from india, there's a stupid amount of people doing engineering, high school kids here are brainwashed that if you don't do engineering, that too from IIT (Most premier institute of India) you have no scope in life. I failed to get in, but got into another respected University for mechanical engineering since everyone I knew suggested me to go for engineering instead, and if four years later I still love physics as much, I can switch to Masters in science. I got a job offer before I graduated, but my heart was still in pure physics. I graduated in 2020 during the pandemic, my job's joining date got pushed and pushed and I lost my job in two months due to the pandemic, I got depressed for months, not doing anything. By the time pandemic started getting better my mental health was at my lowest, everything I enjoyed wasn't fun anymore. Few months later I finally decided to pursue physics so I started preparing for the entrance tests. To this day there are people suggesting me to not do physics and go for a master's in engineering or an MBA(seriously?). I'm glad my parents finally understood and supports my dream of becoming a physicist, I cracked a few exams, and I'm getting decent opportunities for my master's degree in physics. Mentality of people here is absolutely trash, society doesn't respect a science degree, society doesn't respect physicists or professors, but I'm determined, and I don't care. I just hope to make my parents proud, and I've always failed in doing so ever since my childhood...
You can't hate this guy, he shares his personal life decisions and stories like you're his best friend. Love this guy.
Derek, you are inspiring, interesting to listen to and I want to thank you for the time you give for these videos !
Merci Derek !
Nope, don't listen to your parents. At least when it comes to your passions, they might be totally different from what your parents think you should be doing, so if you want to be miserable, then do what they want you to do. In my experience, a couple of times I took their advice a little to seriously (for a ridiculous fear of them being dissapointed), but I should've not done that, and I lost time or suffered for it. To be honest, who gives a fuck what they think, and they'll still love you anyhow, if they are great parents. Just do what you want to do!
I have masters in manufacture engineering. My parents were strongly opposed to it from the beginning because they thought the industry was shifting into unstable state. But I followed through and ended up moving to America and became a fabrication engineer. It's a well paying job and I get to see another culture. I currently loving it.
What a beautiful video... I really love the passion and honesty you express with your work. It makes me feel really good all the time :)
And this video almost made me cry even. You're amazing and keep on doing what you do!
You can really tell when something is done by someone who is passionate about it ... when that something is beautiful and inspiring. thank you my friend for all the inspiration you bring to young and old ones alike by sharing your essence. 👍😎
I kind of lucked out... Right after high school, it was clear that I was not sure what I wanted to do. So, I just went to work! I had multiple jobs for the four years out of school, then I went to automotive school... A year later, I didnt do anything with it. Matter of fact, I didnt want to have anything to do with it... So after another 4 years, and thinking I wanted to do criminal justice, I ended up realizing that I want to be a film maker... I am 2 weeks away from filming what I wrote.
If parents really wanted us to be happy. Then they should accept the fact that we aren't babies anymore, and this is our lives. This brought us into this world. But now it's our time to live it. The way we choose.
This video is extremely inspiring, especially how you never gave up and merged your 2 biggest passions together and you are now doing what you love.
For me I am currently studying electrical engineering and I could never pick between math, physics, or engineering. Sometimes I want to apply math & science but sometimes I just want to learn and do more of the Theory.
It's always sweet to get feedback from people from the "other side" of the studies... I've also wandered a little before going back to university and getting a Master of arts, but always keeping my core interest for music on the side.
Getting the degree was hard work but in the end really rewarding and useful for my future path. I've now enrolled in a prestigious music school and start in a few month. I feel so happy to have taken time and effort to study literature and music academically while doing my experimentation.
Now is the time to put the two together and who knows what will happen!
I am in the same situation. My parents want a doctor out of me but I want to study Physics. Except I took years to resist my parents desire and told them again and again. Now I am applying to a plethora of universities. My problem is the only universities who offer aid are really the best universities so I have a huge mountain to climb. MIT will reply to me next week. Wish me luck
Good luck mate. I pray you get into the uni and prove your parents wrong.
Rohit Udhwani
Oh no you misunderstand. They don't doubt my ability to go into the field and getting admission to university but they want me to become a doctor. They think I'd be an amazing doctor, but they forget that my lack of interest in the field would make me average at best
usama notkani I see. Sorry i mistook it mate. Whatever you go for, i hope it is successful.
Rohit Udhwani
Cheers mate. Hope for your best too and hope everyone gets to live their dreams
usama notkani honestly I've heard of countless times people have dropped out of college bcs they didn't like what they where doing. You have to do what's your passion, then you will pour your heart and soul into what you are doing and end up being very good at it
I'm looking at this from a different perspective. I'm a parent and something I've said to my kids many times is that I don't care what they do, as long as it's something they're passionate about. I certainly have my preferences, and if they want advice, I will give it. But it will be advice, not a directive.
But...
I was not an enthusiastic student in high school, and if not for the fact that I took a couple of years off before university, I might not have gotten my degree. The break from school gave me perspective and an enthusiasm for learning which I didn't have before. Coincidentally, I did go into filmmaking, going to film school after university, but while things did not work out the way I expected in that area, I appreciate the fact that my parents never gave me any directives and do that with my own children.
On a side note, as someone who lives in Vancouver, I had no idea Derek grew up here and was filming this video here. When I saw the Vancouver Whitecaps jersey, I thought it was just a random thing. Funny.
Amazing video. I love your content and how you interact with every subject you present. Especially in this one... It's personal and it feels human.
Such an amazing ending. I love how you sometimes end it with emphasis on something you referred to in the video. In this case I felt it was about your interest in movie making that had nothing to do with science; only an amazing view of the sea with the guitar in the background, and it went really well with what the video was all about, I wondered if it was you playing by the way. I've only knew Veritasium around three weeks ago and now you're on my list of inspirational people. Keep doing what you're doing.
Is anybody who lives in KC watching this guy with a Vancouver FC jersey on?
I want him to burn it. It's on a ton of videos.
'like a prison sentence or a summer camp' excuse me sir, how dare you compare prison to a summer camp?!?
+Robin Gilliver truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Robin Gilliver what camps have you been to, for gods sake
Robin Gilliver not sure if troll or delusional
+Julie P. summercamp was shitty, we called it Stalag 13, we were forever cold and wet nearly all the time, the food was so bad I barely could bring myself to eat, the hut where we slept leaked and our bedding was always damp, the shower were cold and the staff were bastards. The longest six weeks of my life and I looked more like someone one form a concentration camp, my parents never sent me again.
Ye, so how dare you compare prison to a summer camp.
+Julie P. Probably both...
I love how very insightful and encouraging you are. Plus the end of this video was beautiful!!
I don't know how exactly I found this video but I am very glad I found it: I'm in my second year of community college and I can relate in that I have no clue what to do. Where my parents seem to want me to do one thing and I'm thinking of something else. Don't get me wrong it's not some great epiphany "I know what I'm doing!," but it still helps weigh and balance my thoughts, thank you.
I was a bad/dumb ass in school when I was younger, and didn't graduate. I regret that now. As soon as I could read and write I was out into the work force. Job to job making min wage, then this job rolled around. Now I make over 80K a year sitting on my ass, and that is bullshit. It's repetitive and boring. It is not what I want to do with my life, but it creates a living. So I spend most of my free time expanding my mind , in ways school never could, like watching Veritasium.
Thank you for these vids you let me imagine my full potential.
P.S. Vsauce is great too. I like when you and Michael collaborate.
The place looks peaceful...made me want to come over by Australia
its vancouver....
+J thxx
Vancouver is Cold Sydney.
stoked to hear that little comets interlude at the end.
This video has touched me in so many different ways...
Man I wish If you were my older brother
I said pretty much the same thing to my younger brother, but he just wanted to listen and not find his own preference and make a decision for himself. His career didn't really take off, and he's currently unemployed as his employer went broke due to the pandemic. He does seem to be happy though.
There were a few moments in life where I should have trusted myself over my parents but most of the time they are right lol.
+bananian Trust your instincts, I trusted mine, I am not a rich man but I am a happy man.
nah they're right every single time
@@89wings44
Nope
@@bananian I'm only 17 but I regret not listening to them for various things
@@89wings44 for example?
congrats on following your dreams, you teach and inspire in a fun connective way!! love your work and keep it up
I think you're totally right. Life is twisted sometimes. If anyone is in the same case as in the video, to make a long story short, for me, my studies after high school have been (and are) very chaotic. I tried for animation 2d, went to study film making, computer sciences, social sciences, music... You name it. My mom put pressure on me to become a doctor as well but I never really was interested in becoming one and then, she wanted me to become a teacher but what I really wanted to do was to become a musician. I never actually listened to her about career choices as I knew that only me knew best what was the best fit.
In the end, I have decided that I wouldn't be a professional performing artist as I so wanted to for over 10 years but I have no regrets whatsoever as everything I've learned didn't go to waste. When my brother fell ill and eventually passed away, I've realized that family was a lot more important to me than I would ever have thought and that as a performing artist, I would hardly be able to have both a nice family and a nice career and would have a hard time being there for my aging parents... I still enjoy playing music, singing but I still don't know what I wanna do with my life but for now, I'm doing a major in linguistics and a double minor in science for arts in physics (thanks Veritasium, Vsauce, etc.!) and music for arts (yeah, all of these things have little in common, I know and I don't care. I'll make it work.). It's really challenging and, let's be honest, it sometimes freaks me out, but it's still great and feels completely right. I must do many pre-requisites for science because I didn't do them while I was in high school (...and didn't have to pay...), even though my mom suggested that I do them anyway and that it would be done with if I eventually needed them. But I don't wish that I listened to my mom. I was just not ready for this back then. I probably wouldn't have worked as hard and enjoyed it as much.
I think there's a time for everything in life, so my best advice for anyone wondering what to do is, like it was said in the video, to listen to your heart. It sounds cheesy, but this way, you rarely regret the past. When your parents love you, they eventually accept to disagree but accept your choice anyway. And... if you make a wrong decision, you will at least have tried and you will know this path was not meant to be as opposed to wondering if you would whether have enjoyed it or not. Just don't be afraid to make mistakes and try different things even if they don't interest you: you learn from your mistakes, not from not trying. (Sorry about the long text... I got carried away. ^^;)
Hey I'm in Engineering Physics! ...at the University of Illinois :)
Yo! So are you in grad school now?
@@mango-strawberry Nope. Graduated almost 4 years ago!
@@LarryPanozzo oh, that's sweet! So do you work for NASA or smth?
I think the writers parents shouldn't be overly disappointed. I mean cmon.. "I will study physics" isnt like "I will become an actor" to the usual parent.
I am always inspired by good teachers like you. My dream is to help others understand the world around them.
I love the way these videos are done... The last minute or so is literally completely useless in terms that it gives no information whatsoever but it's just so relaxing after hearing a nice story like this or some scientific info that I just want to stay till the very last second of the video and enjoy the sea or anything else that is in the end of most veritasium videos :)
You mention jobs, at about 3:50...Well, the only way to get a "sound job" is from "work experience," and any student these days is aware of the legendary catch-22 about needing to get a job in the first place in order to accrue that much-needed experience. I have a college degree and A+ certification, and I am still denied every single application, not even getting to the interview phase!
That's really hard to believe... What is your degree in?
Electronic media and film.
I think it's just not mainstream enough...
There's still the A+ certification that says I should be able to work on computers.
I'd say you should improve your resume then. You're not marketing yourself and your skills well enough. Try to stand out from all the other applications they receive
Quite frankly, Physics is a pretty good degree to have. It's great for going into IT, research, and Engineering, all of which have high paying jobs.
I'm in a similar dilemna and I'm glad I watched this.
Damn I loved this video so much. I agree with the idea that you should find a way to combine several of your passions into one, and Derek is a prime exemplar of that.
I wish I was smart enough to slog my way through, going through the motions. I work hard at it and still fail.
I barely made it through high school
High school is bullshit made up to indoctrinate us into becoming factory workers. Not only that but if everybody became a physicist the world wouldn’t function we need people to perform every kind of job. I understand where you’re coming from but just know that whatever you do is equally as important in the grand scheme of things no matter what anyone else says.
The story of two brothers: (which is the story of me and my brother)
One brother starts out as an engineering major but bailed to study physics instead. The other brother (me) started as an engineering major and stuck with it.
The engineer when on to work as an engineer, and the physicist went on to drive truck for Fed Ex - this despite the fact that he is actually the smarter one.
The moral to the story is: pooh on physics majors. Engineers are guys/gals who know/love physics, but have jobs.
Meanwhile, the Fed Ex driver is in the process of going back to school to finish up...wait for it... his engineering degree.
I have mixed feelings about this post. On one hand, I agree that Engineering is probably a safer route and would recommend that people think carefully before going into physics.
On the other, I remember a very smart friend of mine from high school who obtained an engineering degree from a well known university and is now working at a grocery store. Then there was the guy who lived down the street from me. He was a physics major, got into a good grad school (UIUC), said to hell with the PHD, went into finance, and now is making very good money. A BS in Physics is workable (fairly high average salary), but it requires flexibility (you aren't going to be doing physics without a PHD).
As for a PHD in Physics... People who make it through a PHD program in a reasonable amount of time almost always do well for themselves (except when they go the infamous academic route)...
You said it right there. People who get their BS in physics almost never do physics. Yes, there are those enginnering grads who never get into engineering. But most engineering grads DO go into a field of engineering as a profession.
And as for myself, I friggin' love my job as an engineer. And the pay ain't bad either.
People going into physics really need to know that becoming a professional physicist requires 5-6 years of working on cutting edge research for McDonalds wages (this is called grad school)...
If someone reads this and decides that a PhD in physics (paid for by research) isn't for them, then it's better now than later.
I agree.
But like I said earlier: engineers love physics too. But because I'm not willing to jump through the hoops to get a PhD, an engineering degree is so much more practical. I suspect that this is the case for lots of physics majors (like my brother) who simply don't know better.
I'm very proud of the young man who made the decision to go with his gut. I spent my college years studying "something practical", according to my parents, which was economics. I've worked for large brokerage firms and hated every minute of it. Only in the last few years did I truly say f*** it, i want to be happy, and now I am 1 year away from becoming a high school math teacher. I can't imagine a happier life. I won't be the doctor my sister is, but I will be happy with math. So congrats!
dude you are awesome! felt so good after watching this. even though I'm not in a decision crisis right now.. i feel like every day we take decisions which cements our tomorrows.
nice song
Please don't say that you like trains - 1:25
(asdf movie reference)
This is a great video. Thank you for it and I can see it helping me throughout the years.
Same here! I studied engineering (electronics/computer science) because I knew I would always have a job! (engineers are in more demand that surgeons!)
But when I started college I was a musician, playing a lot of gigs and sessions and at the same time I loved theatre too. At highschool I was worthless, a nobody but as soon as I hung my guitar around my neck and I jammed with people 2 or 3 times my age, giving me compliments, I felt worthy of a place on this planet. So naturally I urged towards music. But when our bass player applied to the Royal Conservatory and was basically laughed away, I knew I for sure had no chance. (That bass player taught me so much! He knew more about music that I'd ever know he played 4 instruments and read music as if he was reading a novel, I envied him. Ironically he envied me because I played with sheer intuition and heart learning as I went).
I continued to play music, write scripts and skits all through college.
When I graduated college my teachers wanted me to go to university and said that they could get me a place where ever I wanted. But I was reluctant because I suck at math and I was 21 by that time and I had it with school and maths. I didn't want more theoretics I loved the applied engineering.
After college I had to go into the army (mandatory army duty still existed in our country back in 1994). But I graduated in May and the first available slot for the army was January 2nd 1995. So I had 9 months of time. Luckily my parents were good enough to not push me into temp jobs as long as I did not ask them for money.
So I co-wrote a caberat show. I wrote and recorded all the music we managed to get it into a theatre and the hard hitting reality was that 2 months of 60-80 hour weeks resulted in a nett profit of 400 dollars per person.
I knew I could not live from the arts alone and I had seen so many musicians (far better than I am) struggle to get by.
When the good news came that I was drawn out not to be enlisted I applied for an engineering job and had one in 5 days.
Mean while I have stayed an engineer all the time and at the same time studied, theatre production, mentalism and hypnotism, wrote mentalism effects for TV, I was asked to perform mentalism abroad, consulted people in the mentalism and hypnosis world, wrote music and studied film making with focus on VFX.
I found that my engineering background always helped to get more out of my arts than other people could. None the least because I have a very good disposable income to simply buy books, props, training and basically acquire knowledge. Other fulltime professionals don't have that luxury and hence they (ironically) pay me for my knowledge. They nowhere near can pay me the money that I earn when working freelance for government or enterprise companies. But I like taking time out of the high paying jobs and consult the full time artists for "pocket change". Because I love being around them. Their vision on the world is so different from us engineers.
Too many parents only care about money but not fun
Amen
Skarmx2 It's fair enough for them to worry about their son's future. I mean, taking Veritasium's example, film making is something that is very hard to get into (because there's a lot of competition) and apparently quite boring for many people who do.
That being said, Engineering Physics is a pretty sound subject, and doing what you love is important. Medicine can involve a decade or so of study to get a workable qualification, it's often far more expensive and can inundate you in work for much of your early career.
Simply wanting your son to do medical because of the prestige is a bit petty imo.
"We fucked the entire housing market, and social security and Medicare, so get a good paying job so you can keep the already screwed market running so when I retire you can keep paying into it."
codzomz I don't think you understand. When they grew up their average wage job paid for a house in three years!
Clearly it's just because you're playing on your iPads and iPhones.
P.S: Oh and no, you can't build more houses in our area, it would ruin the neighbourhood image.
+Skarmx2 Because it's not theirs, it's yours :)
parents most of the time have no idea what is best for you... they just wanna cover their own assess and justify the effort they put in with you
+Lone Wolf and they still think like 20 or 30 years ago, they can't understand jobs are not the same, society is not the same, buying a house is not the same, money is not worth the same and so on
*****
do they think... most seem to forget what a child is like or that school is overrated shit
They want their retirement absolutely secure.
I've found parents often do know what's best for you. As long as they really know you, and want the best for you. They have a lot more life experience, and understand more about the world than you do.
Also school is great, or rather learning is great. Our school system is just crap.
Their kid choosing profession has a little to do with their own life experience, most parents don't know anything about modern society.
And you doing things the way you did and especially doing a good job of it created a fairly unique or at least rare result that we appreciate and that has brought something new to the world or to us here anyway. So, merging things the way you did is your contribution and success.
My parents gave me a lot of guidance as in I have learned from their mistakes, and I have spent most of what I have had of my childhood trying to understand the prospect of making intelligent life decisions. Though there are some unavoidable mistakes, I will do my best to learn from them and not make them again.
One of the many lessons I have learned is to not tie myself down to someone while I'm young. When you do that, you can't spend time on learning about yourself and the things around you; you only focus on that other person for the most part.
When my parent throws advice or tells me to do something that affects my life significantly, I listen, but in the ultimate end, I will do what I think is right based on my own experiences and the second hand experiences of those around me.
My dad has started leaving me alone and stopped chewing my ass about school recently, and basically over the course of about a year all of my stuff started improving. I started assuming responsibility for myself. Although there's a lot more to come (hopefully) since I'm only seventeen, I think the only real person I can trust with myself - is myself.
Oh well, I got it easy. For anyone out there who is insecure with themselves, you are truly the only person who know you. Your parents want what they want, but what matters is what you want. Do it!