I’m not sure it’s fair to expect a lot of heart to heart talks between Rory and Luke, when she’s always gone to her mother/best friend for advice. It’s clear whose respect she wants most after she was busted with Logan at the wedding. She said, “Luke was SO mad!” Nothing about her dad. I always thought that tiny detail made a huge statement. ❤
Yes, she loves Luke and he has always been such a stable influence in her life, more so than her dad at that point! I loved hearing her concern over what he thought in that moment, too.
yeah I love that scene, I also love the scene where they are double dating and Dean leaves and Rory acts like a kid talking to her parents after them meeting her boyfriend "you made no effort" 😊
Jess isn't super talkative but, he is pretty clear that he wants to be with Rory and when Dean breaks up with her at the dance marathon he doesn't just jump on her. He makes sure she is okay, that Dean and her are really broken up and that she wants to be with him before going and breaking up with Shane. (unlike Dean, Rory, Logan, and Lorelei who all either cheat on or with someone in a relationship) He is also clear he just wants her to tell him if she hangs out with Dean so he isn't blindsided by it. He only really struggles to communicate about his internal struggles.
I think Lorelai has more of the mother wound than the father wound. She always seems a bit more comfortable with her dad, even though she’s very on guard with both of them. It seems like she’s always aiming to please him and has given up on trying with her mother. Lorelai’s reaction to Richard telling her how proud he was of her success with the inn would be my best example for this. I still loved this video and thought it was very good, just wanted to give my thoughts! ❤❤
Thank you! I agree that her relationship with her mother is more contentious. We actually have a video on Emily and her parenting style and how it affected her and Lorelai if you wanted to check it out!
I think you’re right, a lot of her resentment does seem to center on her mother. And while it might be an example of him throwing money at things, it is worth commending that when she went to them for help with Rory’s tuition, Richard was very ready to step in with no strings attached before Emily applied the condition. However pushy his efforts to get Rory into Yale were, he seemed to genuinely see it as his helping her out. But one of the cruelest scenes, for me, was after he threw Christopher’s father out of his house and Lorelai thanked him for standing up for her. He very coldly made it clear that he did it for the Gilmore name, not for her, and that he was thoroughly ashamed of his teenaged daughter. I also think that a lot of Emily’s issues stem in part from him being a bad husband (meaning he did not model good behavior of how a man should treat a woman in front of Lorelai). He let his mother bully her, he carried on a secret friendship with an ex, he belittled her interests. It was very wrong of Emily to take it out on Lorelai, but he wasn’t exactly stepping in to make it better.
Luke ist the sometimes grumpy but always engaged dad Rory needed. Thought, they don´t have deep conversations, this is something that is quite normal from my experience. Especially, when a teenage girl has a good relationship to her mother or also grandmother, aunt ect. My dad was always a good dad, thought, he wasn´t a great husband. He loved me and was interested in my life, but I always had a good relationship to the women in my life, my great-gradnmother, my grandmother and my mom. So, when I wanted to talk about serious stuff, I went to one of them, not to my father. Simply because they were teenage girls at some point in their lifes, while my father was a boy. Doesn´t mean, I didn´t trust him, he just wasn´t the right person to talk to about girl stuff back then. Would have beed different, if he was a single parent with no female family to help him raise a daughter. Lukes opinion is way more important to Rory than Christophers, as someone already stated in the comments. Christopher was a bad dad and never really an engaged father and I really love the scene when Luke calls him out for not being there.
I do see your point 100%. I think everyone has a different relationship with their parents or parental figures, and I think Rory wanted a father figure she could talk to (as evidenced by her relationship with her grandfather), but Luke was there for Rory in ways no one else was and their relationship was still impactful and important to both of them. Thank you for your comment!
I remember seeing someone somewhere talk about this weird fixation Christopher seemed to have on Lorelai, and I think that’s true. If she didn’t want to be with him, he wouldn’t be there for Rory. If she didn’t want to be his Cool Girl / Manic Pixie Dream Girl, that must mean it’s her fault Rory is rejecting him. No fool, that was on you. Lorelai not wanting to marry you doesn’t absolve you of being a father. Also: thank you for pointing out how stupid it was for Dean to get mad at Rory for not saying “I love you” when he wanted her to. That always really annoyed me too, and it was such a red flag how angry he got, and when they were back together she was terrified of his outbursts. It had only been a few months, cool your heels man!
Yes yes yes! Christopher seems to need a push from a woman in his life to be more involved with Rory. Sherry is that woman for a little while, but outside of that, is Lorelai rejects him, he's nowhere to be found in Rory's life!
Coincidentally rewatched the episodes you covered for Rory and now feel so sympathetic to her barely acknowledged desire for a father/father figure. I wonder if Lorelai would have turned it around sooner and made more mature, less avoidant choices in her love life if she understood the effect it was having on Rory. Lorelai's boyfriends' relationships with Rory herself factor into my opinion on why they did or did not work out with Lorelai now.
I think if Lorelai understood the depth of longing and negative effects on Rory, she 100% would have done whatever she could to make sure Rory had that type of person in her life. For whatever flaws she has as a mother, she always tried her best to provide everything Rory needed in life. I just don't think she or Christopher realized how much it affected Rory until much later in her life.
Ok I agree have absent or negligent fathers does alter their children's lives especially daughters, but Lorelei being her friend her whole life instead of a mother does not help at all either.
I do think that Lorelai went a little too far with being her kid's friend first, even if it does make sense given how she was raised. It just goes to show that both extremes can be harmful to a child's development.
I do remember that, yes! I thought it was sad that she wasn't able to articulate her feelings to Luke. Even though she was there and sad, she wasn't able to communicate with him, and that's what she needed to be able to do, communicate with a father figure person in her life. She was missing that.
OK look there's plenty to say about Dean. He has donee some god awful things to his wife, and I'd say Rory at few points, BUT the breakup thing? We are adults here, we have hindsight, and understanding that one day is not end all be all, but he DOES NOT. This is not his first girlfriend, but it is also not his 3rd. When I was 16 I could think like... a day in advance? Was he right? No. Was HE 16 AS WELL? YES. A lot of times what you feel at that age you think is final, it is not.
I agree that teenagers don't have the same understanding and emotional maturity we expect from adults. Nevertheless, him breaking up with her over not saying I love you back after only 3 months still annoys me 🫠
Con you de a deeper dive on Christopher. When you first meet his father, you hear that Chris did not go to an Ivy League College, Rutfers specially. But when Rosie takes him to see her new place with Logan, he tells Logan that he and the old Yale campus are old friends. Now you could understand no college, or continuing the family legacy, nut if you son got into Tale your father mihjt give you a break…
I have been thinking about going even deeper in my video essays, I feel as though I'm barely starting to scratch the surface with some of these characters. Thank you for the suggestion!
Rory does talk to Luke on her own, particularly when everyone is blaming Jess for the accident. It’s not that it never happens it’s that we rarely see it happen.
Yes, I guess I could have been more specific with this part. She doesn't go to Luke consistently over the series with things. Talking with Luke after the car accident was an anomaly, not a common occurrence. I wish she had a father figure she felt she could talk to openly on a consistent basis, but alas, even with Luke being there for her more than any other man, she didn't have that open channel of communication.
Hi, I want to correct you on Rory and Luke having no deep conversation. I am not sure how much this counts but when Rory was in a car accident she hates that everyone treats her as if she is the victim of Jess. One night she goes to Luke’s and they have a nice moment where they more or less express that the don’t villainies Jess as the rest of the town. When she knew that he was the only one on her side she came to him
They do have that conversation, you're right! I loved that moment, and I wish we would have seen more of those kind of conversations between them. I think it would have been so beneficial for Rory in the long run.
@yourlittlesistersproductions yes and thank you for pointing out that even though he treated Rory as his own daughter he was never the one to turn to when she was in trouble or wanted to open up (exceptfor that scene). I never thought of the fact that she would be lacking a father figure, maybe because I never experienced myself that a good relationship to your parents means that you can talk with them about everything. But my parents and I are trying to be better at making me feel safe to turn to them but there are a lot of wounds to heal...
That's one of my favorite scenes, too. I'm generally a nice lady... who tries to give problem-people the benefit of the doubt... But I absolutely agree that sometimes certain people need to just get pushed into the lake!!! 😂😂😂❤
I'm very curious, I've seen this opinion before, what exactly did Lorelai do that makes you feel she encouraged Christopher to stay absent? I agree that she could have pushed more for him to be present, but I don't think I agree that she went so far as to encourage him to be gone.
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I’m not sure it’s fair to expect a lot of heart to heart talks between Rory and Luke, when she’s always gone to her mother/best friend for advice. It’s clear whose respect she wants most after she was busted with Logan at the wedding. She said, “Luke was SO mad!” Nothing about her dad. I always thought that tiny detail made a huge statement. ❤
Yes, she loves Luke and he has always been such a stable influence in her life, more so than her dad at that point! I loved hearing her concern over what he thought in that moment, too.
yeah I love that scene, I also love the scene where they are double dating and Dean leaves and Rory acts like a kid talking to her parents after them meeting her boyfriend "you made no effort" 😊
Jess isn't super talkative but, he is pretty clear that he wants to be with Rory and when Dean breaks up with her at the dance marathon he doesn't just jump on her.
He makes sure she is okay, that Dean and her are really broken up and that she wants to be with him before going and breaking up with Shane. (unlike Dean, Rory, Logan, and Lorelei who all either cheat on or with someone in a relationship)
He is also clear he just wants her to tell him if she hangs out with Dean so he isn't blindsided by it.
He only really struggles to communicate about his internal struggles.
Yes! Jess is unsure how to communicate deeper issues and feelings, but he did communicate his boundaries with Rory.
I think Lorelai has more of the mother wound than the father wound. She always seems a bit more comfortable with her dad, even though she’s very on guard with both of them. It seems like she’s always aiming to please him and has given up on trying with her mother. Lorelai’s reaction to Richard telling her how proud he was of her success with the inn would be my best example for this. I still loved this video and thought it was very good, just wanted to give my thoughts! ❤❤
Thank you! I agree that her relationship with her mother is more contentious. We actually have a video on Emily and her parenting style and how it affected her and Lorelai if you wanted to check it out!
I think you’re right, a lot of her resentment does seem to center on her mother. And while it might be an example of him throwing money at things, it is worth commending that when she went to them for help with Rory’s tuition, Richard was very ready to step in with no strings attached before Emily applied the condition. However pushy his efforts to get Rory into Yale were, he seemed to genuinely see it as his helping her out.
But one of the cruelest scenes, for me, was after he threw Christopher’s father out of his house and Lorelai thanked him for standing up for her. He very coldly made it clear that he did it for the Gilmore name, not for her, and that he was thoroughly ashamed of his teenaged daughter.
I also think that a lot of Emily’s issues stem in part from him being a bad husband (meaning he did not model good behavior of how a man should treat a woman in front of Lorelai). He let his mother bully her, he carried on a secret friendship with an ex, he belittled her interests. It was very wrong of Emily to take it out on Lorelai, but he wasn’t exactly stepping in to make it better.
Luke ist the sometimes grumpy but always engaged dad Rory needed. Thought, they don´t have deep conversations, this is something that is quite normal from my experience. Especially, when a teenage girl has a good relationship to her mother or also grandmother, aunt ect. My dad was always a good dad, thought, he wasn´t a great husband. He loved me and was interested in my life, but I always had a good relationship to the women in my life, my great-gradnmother, my grandmother and my mom. So, when I wanted to talk about serious stuff, I went to one of them, not to my father. Simply because they were teenage girls at some point in their lifes, while my father was a boy. Doesn´t mean, I didn´t trust him, he just wasn´t the right person to talk to about girl stuff back then. Would have beed different, if he was a single parent with no female family to help him raise a daughter.
Lukes opinion is way more important to Rory than Christophers, as someone already stated in the comments. Christopher was a bad dad and never really an engaged father and I really love the scene when Luke calls him out for not being there.
I do see your point 100%. I think everyone has a different relationship with their parents or parental figures, and I think Rory wanted a father figure she could talk to (as evidenced by her relationship with her grandfather), but Luke was there for Rory in ways no one else was and their relationship was still impactful and important to both of them. Thank you for your comment!
I remember seeing someone somewhere talk about this weird fixation Christopher seemed to have on Lorelai, and I think that’s true. If she didn’t want to be with him, he wouldn’t be there for Rory. If she didn’t want to be his Cool Girl / Manic Pixie Dream Girl, that must mean it’s her fault Rory is rejecting him. No fool, that was on you. Lorelai not wanting to marry you doesn’t absolve you of being a father.
Also: thank you for pointing out how stupid it was for Dean to get mad at Rory for not saying “I love you” when he wanted her to. That always really annoyed me too, and it was such a red flag how angry he got, and when they were back together she was terrified of his outbursts. It had only been a few months, cool your heels man!
Yes yes yes! Christopher seems to need a push from a woman in his life to be more involved with Rory. Sherry is that woman for a little while, but outside of that, is Lorelai rejects him, he's nowhere to be found in Rory's life!
And then there’s how Logan is basically a stand in for Rory’s dad.
I have heard that theory so many times, especially after A Year in the Life! And if that theory is true, that means Jess is her Luke, and so on.
Coincidentally rewatched the episodes you covered for Rory and now feel so sympathetic to her barely acknowledged desire for a father/father figure.
I wonder if Lorelai would have turned it around sooner and made more mature, less avoidant choices in her love life if she understood the effect it was having on Rory. Lorelai's boyfriends' relationships with Rory herself factor into my opinion on why they did or did not work out with Lorelai now.
I think if Lorelai understood the depth of longing and negative effects on Rory, she 100% would have done whatever she could to make sure Rory had that type of person in her life. For whatever flaws she has as a mother, she always tried her best to provide everything Rory needed in life. I just don't think she or Christopher realized how much it affected Rory until much later in her life.
Ok I agree have absent or negligent fathers does alter their children's lives especially daughters, but Lorelei being her friend her whole life instead of a mother does not help at all either.
I do think that Lorelai went a little too far with being her kid's friend first, even if it does make sense given how she was raised. It just goes to show that both extremes can be harmful to a child's development.
Rory does go to Luke when she drops out of Yale. It feels like she wants to talk but doesn't fully have the words. This was season 6 episode 2.
I do remember that, yes! I thought it was sad that she wasn't able to articulate her feelings to Luke. Even though she was there and sad, she wasn't able to communicate with him, and that's what she needed to be able to do, communicate with a father figure person in her life. She was missing that.
@@yourlittlesistersproductions
Yeah I would agree with that. I wish the show gave them more heart to heart moments.
OK look there's plenty to say about Dean. He has donee some god awful things to his wife, and I'd say Rory at few points, BUT the breakup thing? We are adults here, we have hindsight, and understanding that one day is not end all be all, but he DOES NOT. This is not his first girlfriend, but it is also not his 3rd. When I was 16 I could think like... a day in advance? Was he right? No. Was HE 16 AS WELL? YES. A lot of times what you feel at that age you think is final, it is not.
I agree that teenagers don't have the same understanding and emotional maturity we expect from adults. Nevertheless, him breaking up with her over not saying I love you back after only 3 months still annoys me 🫠
I'M SO HAPPY TO FIND ANOTHER UA-camR WHO COVERS GG 😊😊😊😊😊😊 you're so well spoken and this was a GREAT listen! Please cover more if you're willing ❤❤❤
Thank you so much, that made my day! Yes, I have another Gilmore Girls video in the works right now 😀 Stick around for when it comes out!
Con you de a deeper dive on Christopher. When you first meet his father, you hear that Chris did not go to an Ivy League College, Rutfers specially. But when Rosie takes him to see her new place with Logan, he tells Logan that he and the old Yale campus are old friends. Now you could understand no college, or continuing the family legacy, nut if you son got into Tale your father mihjt give you a break…
I have been thinking about going even deeper in my video essays, I feel as though I'm barely starting to scratch the surface with some of these characters. Thank you for the suggestion!
I read that more of him going to party with Yale kids like Logan
Hey you are very talented. Keep posting content
Thank you! 😊😊
Rory does talk to Luke on her own, particularly when everyone is blaming Jess for the accident. It’s not that it never happens it’s that we rarely see it happen.
Yes, I guess I could have been more specific with this part. She doesn't go to Luke consistently over the series with things. Talking with Luke after the car accident was an anomaly, not a common occurrence. I wish she had a father figure she felt she could talk to openly on a consistent basis, but alas, even with Luke being there for her more than any other man, she didn't have that open channel of communication.
Hi, I want to correct you on Rory and Luke having no deep conversation. I am not sure how much this counts but when Rory was in a car accident she hates that everyone treats her as if she is the victim of Jess. One night she goes to Luke’s and they have a nice moment where they more or less express that the don’t villainies Jess as the rest of the town. When she knew that he was the only one on her side she came to him
They do have that conversation, you're right! I loved that moment, and I wish we would have seen more of those kind of conversations between them. I think it would have been so beneficial for Rory in the long run.
@yourlittlesistersproductions yes and thank you for pointing out that even though he treated Rory as his own daughter he was never the one to turn to when she was in trouble or wanted to open up (exceptfor that scene). I never thought of the fact that she would be lacking a father figure, maybe because I never experienced myself that a good relationship to your parents means that you can talk with them about everything. But my parents and I are trying to be better at making me feel safe to turn to them but there are a lot of wounds to heal...
@@larafranke1802 I wish you and your parents the best on your journey ❤️
Thanks for the vid. Sometimes certain people need to get pushed into the lake😂❤.
Agreed 😅😅
That's one of my favorite scenes, too.
I'm generally a nice lady... who tries to give problem-people the benefit of the doubt...
But I absolutely agree that sometimes certain people need to just get pushed into the lake!!! 😂😂😂❤
It's true that Christopher is unreliable. But Lorelei encouraged him to remain unreliable
I'm very curious, I've seen this opinion before, what exactly did Lorelai do that makes you feel she encouraged Christopher to stay absent? I agree that she could have pushed more for him to be present, but I don't think I agree that she went so far as to encourage him to be gone.
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