He is an addict. There is a difference between enjoying sex and physical touch, and choosing sex over your MARRIAGE and KIDS. You're throwing that away for a few one night stands?? I really hope he seeks therapy as to why he craves sex so much to want to do it multiple times a day 7 days a week. I understand having a high drive, but the degree of giving everything up for sex is insanity.
OP and her husband have incompatible sex drives since their kids were born, and while it seems he genuinely feels bad about the situation, he's also making it all about him and not taking into consideration her feelings about this. Opening up the marriage can lead to all kinds of problems. He's a sex addict for sure. Maybe a marriage counsellor could help them, but if he's not willing to curb his sexual appetite to match her level, divorce may be the only option.
But they said they went to Therapist and such and those people said that he's being unrealistic and that he needs to compromise,so I'm not sure how the marriage counselor could do something different cause like.....
The argument that sex is his way of expressing and receiving love goes out of the window when his stated alternative is to get his kicks by having sex with any random woman who’ll have him. If he just wants to empty his balls, why can’t he just do it in the bathroom on his own?!
The fact that he is throwing years of relationship away with his wife and kids , just because he isn't getting laid twice a day is just....... immature..... like ... I'm sorry it's not like she is denying to sleep with you for the whole week ,But you guys are parents now ,Not some couple going through a honeymoon phase. Your priorities have changed , lives have changed ,you have different things to focus on ,other than doing the deed. Even teenagers act less horny.
I can understand how in his mind he feels like her saying no to sex is rejection or a lack of love but he needs to realize love comes in so many different forms besides sex. If your partner shows you they love and care and support you in other ways, how many times a week you have sex shouldn’t mean anything. Just spending time with the one you love means a lot
It's because before they had kids, they were having it 10x a week, and I guess he expected her to continue the pattern after having kids, very unrealistic
This is my view on open marriages/relationships, men who ask for an open marriage or relationship years into the relationship are thinking about stepping outside of the relationship prior to asking their wives/girlfriends, so to avoid the guilt and consequences of cheating, they ask for an open relationship. This man is incredibly selfish and also an addict, he only talks about his needs and doesn't care about what his wife wants, this woman should save herself the heartbreak and divorce him. A real man will wait and respect his woman if she doesn't want to have sex.
Seems like he loves sx more than he loves his wife. I mean it is okay to have extremely high sx drive but why would you get married then. He should have stayed single since the beginning.
Opening the marriage is an iffy decision because you have to make sure that both people are okay with it and honestly I never really understood open marriages/relationships like why not just stay with the one person?
Sometimes it’s a sexuality thing like one partner could be asexual (you never liked s*X and never had any drive for s*X with others) or it could be like in this story a very intense s*X drive matched with a less intense drive but still loving the person anyways enjoy my Ted talk
Because some people are polyamorous, and monogamy just isn't what works for them. Open relationships are a healthy form of polyamory so long as communication is involved. I have been in several long term polyamorous relationships, and am currently in one, and it's great for me. We all communicate boundaries and needs and consent, and laid down all the rules of the relationship from the start. Obviously it's not for everyone but there are people out there who it works for. Some people just love or desire more than one person and that is fine as long as your other partner(s) agrees to it.
Because, when it comes to a$$h0les like the “husband” here, there’s nothing to understand…She’s satisfying him, and he has the audacity to be ungrateful/selfish
The man definitely has been cheating. The fact that he isnt bothered that much about getting divorced says so. Not to mention I find it suspicious that he is "going to friends house, dont contact me. I need time to myself." A.k.a. Im cheating on you and i dont want you anymore. Girl needs to get alimony, child support, and whatever else she can bleed from this douchebag. Also, an open marriage is dangerous. Not only would she be inviting strangers ( that can put her or her children at risk of being harmed) around her children, but the wife is at a higher risk of contracting STDs, STIs, UTI, HPV Chlamydia, etc. Not only that, it can be potentially spread to the children. Also, is that really the role model you want to have for your kids? An unfaithful sex addict as their father figure who cheats on their mother, shames her, and fucks random women? Yeah no. Not healthy for the kids as that is definitely going to cause psychological and emotional trauma. Girl needs to divorce him, tell him to kick rocks, and take him for every penny he has.
This is actually so sad!😩 there are so many reasons why libido fluctuates, and if you truly love your partner, and it’s not the lust that your solely after, then you would compromise your own needs and meet your partner in the middle. There could’ve been efforts put in other than I want to have sex with other people knowing that an open relationship has never probably been a discussion until recent, but if that’s what he wants then they probably should divorce. I am 21 and anyone that I talk to and build a bond with that is more than friendly I let them know, that I’m poly, I don’t see myself settling down with one person, and even though I say that at the beginning, some people still try to get me to change my mind, and it’s some thing that I’m really adamant about making known bc what’s the point of starting a relationship when you know that there is not compatibility and ultimately, y’all don’t want the same things. Back to the story, I’m sure before they got married and even after they had kids, they didn’t know that it would get to this point, but it goes to show where each persons’ head is at now that they’re in a rough place. Like man, why did you even get married and have children if you wanted to separate from low sex drive alone🤦🏽♀️ knowing that would most likely be the case!! He really could’ve googled how to save their sex life since it’s all he cares about, rather than saving their marriage.
He needs to go to therapy and actually work out why he is trying to equate how much intercourse they have to love. I’m sure it may be from his unstable childhood and maybe some child abuse from someone he knew that caused all of this and instead of going and working through it, he’s coping in a bad way. 2-3 times a week is almost every other day. When does she have time raising his kids full time and taking care of their home? When does he have time when he should be working, flexible hours or not. He’s even gaslit her and made it seem like it’s her fault and she’s the issue when she’s normal. Also having children for the woman can be very hard on her body, even if the hormone panel is normal it can take years for a woman to even feel close to ready to get back to her version of normal.
Bro i dont even think someone with a high sex drive would sacrifice his entire marriage for a few night stands like. I feel like someone with that much of an issue would just buy smex toys or anything to please themselves, its that easy. I think HE has a hormonal problem, in the story its more implied or mentioned that OP(wife) got a hormonal test and came back normal but he didnt get tested. A high sex drive is normal but to that degree there could be something else lying.
This just seems like a really unfortunate situation. Especially bc he seems like a nice guy besides that. Unfortunately I have heard stories like this before, actually from a woman’s point of view. In my neighborhood a while back one of the ladies in the neighborhood watch who had a really high sex drive (yeah she talked about it too much). Ended up divorcing her husband bc due to medication he had a lower sex drive, saying sex was important to her and similar to this guy, didn’t want to end up hating her husband as they have two kids. Don’t know what happened since I moved away. Sexual frustration is a real thing though
My boyfriend and I are in our early 20’s and we don’t even have that much sex. Why does this guy have such a high standard for his wife??? Especially after she had 2 kids!!!!
I will literally never get behind this "open relationship" jig. It just seems so absurdly disrespectful to your partner. If you don't want to be in the relationship, just end it on a good note.
How has the husband coped with the one week in a month that his wife is on his period? Has he imploded in the meantime from the lack of sex? This guy has some issues. It's of course okay to want to have sex but this frequently? My god
@@sauhirt8770 Apparently, it "feels better" when the female is actually on her period, it also helps alleviate headaches lol They just put down a blanket or towels that they just wash afterward I'm guessing 😂
@@deadsetondreams1988 "the female"...? It's pretty obvious here that the "apparently" in the beginning of your comment was needed. Better luck when you actually get a girlfriend. P.S. Best regards: One of those "females"
@@JUMALATION1 The female is the one who gets her period, therefore she would know if it feels better or not. Nothing would change for the guy in the scenario of period sex, except for the cleanup after the fact. I wrote apparently because I personally have never had sex while being on my own period. So I wrote it apparently feels good because that's what I've had other females tell me was the case. They have actually had sex while on their period, and they said it feels better for them. I too am a female and get periods as well. So I'm confused about your confusion about my comment?
i think it's not unfair to feel those things, esp because they were both people with high libido and that's part of how their relationship functioned, but it's unfair not to consider her feelings. however, he's telling her. he's trying to make himself clear. even if he did consider her feelings, he is displeased. he doesn't want this and doesn't want to resent her, as he said. so he's telling her so she can make her choices, which is good. i truly think tho that he should've suggested sexual things that cater to her a bit more to help get her in the mood, and they should've tried exploring new things. bc he clearly didn't just want her to go along w/ him, he wanted her to want him again. all i can say is poor kiddos tho
It's hard cause there's a lot of factors that play into it. If you prioritize the kids more, open marriage might be the answer. If you prioritize your self, divorce might be the answer, cause you wouldn't want to break yourself. BUT the guy is also very unrealistic. Even professionals believe that having sex that much is just too much.
how is open marriage a solution to prioritizing your children? The kids will grow up to know his father is fcking someone else while the mum sits at home. That's gonna be devastating.
True, but if she opens the marriage for the kids anyways, it'll likely turn into resentment for him or her family anyways, which defeats the point of the open marriage anyways that "having divorced parents is better than resentful ones". And if she does it for the kids sake, she might end up resenting them too, which is unfair on them. Open marriages are never a good idea when one is hesitant, or doesn't want to. It basically always ends in divorce or huge resentment, destroying the marriage anyways.
For the last one I really think Kyutie was judging him too hard. Now whilst I believe that he should probably get therapy himself because 10+ times a week does seem excessive, everyone's different and no one is in the wrong for having different needs. It sucks that they just are sexually incompatible now. But he's clearly trying to do the right thing hence why he's being honest with her and saying he can't stay in this monogamous relationship. Also it was kind of rude how she talked about open marriages... Like no you don't 'lose' your partner. As long as you set good ground rules and stay honest and communicate with each other it can help lots of people. Just because something isn't the norm doesn't mean it's necessarily bad, and just because it wouldn't work for you doesn't mean it's not perfect for others. That being said, I think they should go for divorce because it's clear the wife wants a more traditional marriage which is also her prerogative.
How are you doing? How are you feeling? I hope just great!! In the very first story, yes the both of ya'll lives have changed and hopefully for the better though. Ya'll children are just 3 and 4 years old so they definitely require a whole lot of attention. Before they were getting busy 24/7, but the birth of her babies slowed that down immediately because she can't move the same way that she use to neither can he because they both have got responsibilities now majorly. He wants to divorce her and leave the marriage because she doesn't want to make love to him regularly, then he's a complete loser who was just using her for her body. What doesn't he understand, he's a parent now so all of the things that he use to do with his wife are gone for a very long time now. Why did he even have babies with her because it's obvious to see that he's not ready at all for children. Leave him because ya'll have two completely different lives now. I love you my dear sweet friend!! Have a great day!! Stay safe!!
Tbh I may be one of the few who sides with both the wife and husband. Most of the people here seem to take the wife’s side and are upset at him. They only see the negatives despite all the positives the wife described about her husband. So for now I’ll give a different opinion that isn’t full on hating him since most of the comments already do that. Around 9 years he’s acted pretty well for a husband. He’s the breadwinner of the host currently, he loves their children and spends time with them, likes to clean a lot, cooks a lot, etc. The wife described their relationship as patient and caring. He was understanding after she lost her libido and talked about how it should be expected since she gave birth and went through a tough time. He was okay with their changed sex life for 2 years after that. After a while, he communicated and asked to see if there could be a solution about her lost libido, in a gentle way. He suggested couples therapy first and an endocrinologist to see if there was anything wrong. Continued for a year. He had a serious talk and cried (very first time she saw him cry like that) and honestly told how he felt. He had a talk about being fine with working on getting their sex life back, but not in a way where she felt forced to do it when she didn’t want it. He suggested divorce with co-parenting or open marriage. He expressed how if they stayed together he may end up resenting her. Which has happened to many couples so it’s reasonable to think this and be afraid of this. He’s also right about the kids would likely be better having separated parents than parents still together and resenting each other (which is shown by many kids with divorced parents who prefer that). Of course, he is selfish in a way that he really wants sex and can’t go long without it. Even not being able to hold onto a marriage for it. (Not giving up the kids since he clearly said co-parenting). But then again, every human being is selfish. That’s what most break ups are. Many break ups are suggested by one person and the other likely protesting against it. Even if it’s a one-sided decision, it’s still valid. I believe if he was truly selfish, he would’ve not given the option to divorce and instead only wanted an open marriage. That way he would be able to have it all- that would be true selfishness. The divorce option was not selfish due to the fact that it’s thinking about the kids and the wife. It’s better to end a relationship that isn’t working out and spare the kids the painful experience of watching parents have to stick together for their sake. With the divorce, she could find someone else and be happy with a different partner too. They both can co-parent their children. In my opinion, they would be better off divorcing rather than going through the pain of forcing it to work. Even if it sounds unreasonable for the husband to act this way- he seems to have been holding it in for a long time. It felt like him crying was his breaking point from the stress of it eating away at him. He seemed pretty honest with how he felt. It also didn’t seem like the wife really expressed much what she wanted to him. Maybe that’s why it felt more one-sided since she didn’t include her opinion on what she wants in their sex life. - Anyways, I also think the husband should seek some help either with his own therapist or medically. I think he’s either addicted to sex, maybe he has some past issues/trauma psychologically that makes him feel like sex is a need in the relationship, or has some mental/physical condition that makes him feel this way. I don’t exactly know if it’s true or not since I didn’t do research and only heard experiences- but there may be people who genuinely do have conditions where they are addicted to sex. Hyper-sexuality may be one of them (i may be wrong btw), which if I remember correctly can be caused by traumatic experiences.
Dang didn’t notice how much I wrote- my bad lol. I write comments horizontally on my tablet so it looks a lot smaller when the sentences are written and put together. It looks way bigger when it’s pit together and looked at vertically
Husband doesn't know what he is asking. Adding a third person to the marriage is a recipe for disaster. The wife could probably make a little more effort to be receptive, and he could make more of an effort to not approach her so often. but those are issues for a couple to work through, not a menage a trois.
Idk, it seems he has been trying to adjust for a few _years_ so I don't think he's in the wrong at all. Sure he has an unusually high sex drive, but that is what it is. I don't think he should have to defend that anymore than someone with a low sex drive. Its unfortunate but it is what it is.
@@terryfilkohazi2237 I think thats up for them to decide. So many people are just acting like he's in the wrong and just "suck it up", he obviously can't, he has been trying and they need to have a good discussion about it without OP screaming to start. Nobody has the right to demand sex, but if you are demanding their monogamy they have earned the right to a discussion when you shut their sexlife down.
Yeah I’m surprised you’re the only one who also noticed that. I feel like a ton of these comments who are upset are women who just let their emotions and say,patchy for the lady take over and didn’t actually bother to see multiple details the wife clearly left in. She never described him to be a bad man once, so I believe that’s saying something. Majority of the people on the comments only see the negatives about the husband despite the positives the wife left all over the post.
@@ricebeansrockroll882 I’m also a woman lmao. That still doesn’t change the fact that majority are women making the comments as observations from profile pics and usernames. There wasn’t shade towards the gender part, but facts based on using my eyes lol
That's why it's a good thing to have two or three wives to feel emotionally connected. It's too bad she lost her sex drive usually for a lot of people that's the only connection we got to humanity to feeling loved needed wanted too bad for her and too bad for him. Sucks to be married sucks to have two children involved in it too. I actually think the two of them need to work it out somewhere there's got to be a happy medium without involving the whole f****** world into their private business. This is hers and this is his problem it's not ours to say.
This is why ure single, Ellen... With a face like urs, a body like urs, a "job" like urs, n a personality like urs, if u don't even know what compromising in a marriage means, ull end up with a worse personal story than this.
"yours" and these are definitely not the relevant reasons lol. It is obvious that the man needs to compromise a lot here in the story. His expectations are insane and is a recipe to stay single for life, because no woman can keep up with that, especially after having children
The fact that he hasn't even considered that HE has the problem is, in itself, a problem.
He is an addict. There is a difference between enjoying sex and physical touch, and choosing sex over your MARRIAGE and KIDS. You're throwing that away for a few one night stands?? I really hope he seeks therapy as to why he craves sex so much to want to do it multiple times a day 7 days a week. I understand having a high drive, but the degree of giving everything up for sex is insanity.
OP and her husband have incompatible sex drives since their kids were born, and while it seems he genuinely feels bad about the situation, he's also making it all about him and not taking into consideration her feelings about this. Opening up the marriage can lead to all kinds of problems. He's a sex addict for sure. Maybe a marriage counsellor could help them, but if he's not willing to curb his sexual appetite to match her level, divorce may be the only option.
But they said they went to Therapist and such and those people said that he's being unrealistic and that he needs to compromise,so I'm not sure how the marriage counselor could do something different cause like.....
I genuinely don't see him being faithful, if he hadn't "got it elsewhere" already I'd be shocked. He's absolute trash and she needs to divorce him
The argument that sex is his way of expressing and receiving love goes out of the window when his stated alternative is to get his kicks by having sex with any random woman who’ll have him. If he just wants to empty his balls, why can’t he just do it in the bathroom on his own?!
Good point
The fact that he is throwing years of relationship away with his wife and kids , just because he isn't getting laid twice a day is just....... immature..... like
... I'm sorry it's not like she is denying to sleep with you for the whole week ,But you guys are parents now ,Not some couple going through a honeymoon phase. Your priorities have changed , lives have changed ,you have different things to focus on ,other than doing the deed.
Even teenagers act less horny.
Sex means love? Gotta have it all time?
He's just in love with himself. It's just a conquest for him.
Dump his ass.
I can understand how in his mind he feels like her saying no to sex is rejection or a lack of love but he needs to realize love comes in so many different forms besides sex. If your partner shows you they love and care and support you in other ways, how many times a week you have sex shouldn’t mean anything. Just spending time with the one you love means a lot
2-3x per week is pretty regular. Dude is unrealistic.
It's because before they had kids, they were having it 10x a week, and I guess he expected her to continue the pattern after having kids, very unrealistic
This is my view on open marriages/relationships, men who ask for an open marriage or relationship years into the relationship are thinking about stepping outside of the relationship prior to asking their wives/girlfriends, so to avoid the guilt and consequences of cheating, they ask for an open relationship. This man is incredibly selfish and also an addict, he only talks about his needs and doesn't care about what his wife wants, this woman should save herself the heartbreak and divorce him. A real man will wait and respect his woman if she doesn't want to have sex.
Seems like he loves sx more than he loves his wife. I mean it is okay to have extremely high sx drive but why would you get married then. He should have stayed single since the beginning.
Opening the marriage is an iffy decision because you have to make sure that both people are okay with it and honestly I never really understood open marriages/relationships like why not just stay with the one person?
Or be single cause u can do anything u want
@@Theefashionkilla Even better! Being single for the win 🥇
Sometimes it’s a sexuality thing like one partner could be asexual (you never liked s*X and never had any drive for s*X with others) or it could be like in this story a very intense s*X drive matched with a less intense drive but still loving the person anyways enjoy my Ted talk
Because some people are polyamorous, and monogamy just isn't what works for them. Open relationships are a healthy form of polyamory so long as communication is involved. I have been in several long term polyamorous relationships, and am currently in one, and it's great for me. We all communicate boundaries and needs and consent, and laid down all the rules of the relationship from the start. Obviously it's not for everyone but there are people out there who it works for. Some people just love or desire more than one person and that is fine as long as your other partner(s) agrees to it.
Because, when it comes to a$$h0les like the “husband” here, there’s nothing to understand…She’s satisfying him, and he has the audacity to be ungrateful/selfish
Man's needs therapy- an open relationship or divorce instead of fucking TOYS OR DOLLS
These things exist for a reason tf
Or masturbating
The man definitely has been cheating. The fact that he isnt bothered that much about getting divorced says so. Not to mention I find it suspicious that he is "going to friends house, dont contact me. I need time to myself." A.k.a. Im cheating on you and i dont want you anymore. Girl needs to get alimony, child support, and whatever else she can bleed from this douchebag.
Also, an open marriage is dangerous. Not only would she be inviting strangers ( that can put her or her children at risk of being harmed) around her children, but the wife is at a higher risk of contracting STDs, STIs, UTI, HPV Chlamydia, etc. Not only that, it can be potentially spread to the children. Also, is that really the role model you want to have for your kids? An unfaithful sex addict as their father figure who cheats on their mother, shames her, and fucks random women? Yeah no. Not healthy for the kids as that is definitely going to cause psychological and emotional trauma.
Girl needs to divorce him, tell him to kick rocks, and take him for every penny he has.
This is actually so sad!😩 there are so many reasons why libido fluctuates, and if you truly love your partner, and it’s not the lust that your solely after, then you would compromise your own needs and meet your partner in the middle. There could’ve been efforts put in other than I want to have sex with other people knowing that an open relationship has never probably been a discussion until recent, but if that’s what he wants then they probably should divorce.
I am 21 and anyone that I talk to and build a bond with that is more than friendly I let them know, that I’m poly, I don’t see myself settling down with one person, and even though I say that at the beginning, some people still try to get me to change my mind, and it’s some thing that I’m really adamant about making known bc what’s the point of starting a relationship when you know that there is not compatibility and ultimately, y’all don’t want the same things. Back to the story, I’m sure before they got married and even after they had kids, they didn’t know that it would get to this point, but it goes to show where each persons’ head is at now that they’re in a rough place. Like man, why did you even get married and have children if you wanted to separate from low sex drive alone🤦🏽♀️ knowing that would most likely be the case!! He really could’ve googled how to save their sex life since it’s all he cares about, rather than saving their marriage.
Her husband is a horn dog wtf😂😂. Divorcing because of no sex is crazy Especially when he's doing it twice a day💀👌
But they are having sex he just wants more ... he can have the random sex he wants when she leaves his ass ( she will, in the end)
He needs to go to therapy and actually work out why he is trying to equate how much intercourse they have to love. I’m sure it may be from his unstable childhood and maybe some child abuse from someone he knew that caused all of this and instead of going and working through it, he’s coping in a bad way. 2-3 times a week is almost every other day. When does she have time raising his kids full time and taking care of their home? When does he have time when he should be working, flexible hours or not. He’s even gaslit her and made it seem like it’s her fault and she’s the issue when she’s normal. Also having children for the woman can be very hard on her body, even if the hormone panel is normal it can take years for a woman to even feel close to ready to get back to her version of normal.
Bro i dont even think someone with a high sex drive would sacrifice his entire marriage for a few night stands like.
I feel like someone with that much of an issue would just buy smex toys or anything to please themselves, its that easy.
I think HE has a hormonal problem, in the story its more implied or mentioned that OP(wife) got a hormonal test and came back normal but he didnt get tested.
A high sex drive is normal but to that degree there could be something else lying.
That is sex addiction at this point
He already has someone else.
This just seems like a really unfortunate situation. Especially bc he seems like a nice guy besides that. Unfortunately I have heard stories like this before, actually from a woman’s point of view. In my neighborhood a while back one of the ladies in the neighborhood watch who had a really high sex drive (yeah she talked about it too much). Ended up divorcing her husband bc due to medication he had a lower sex drive, saying sex was important to her and similar to this guy, didn’t want to end up hating her husband as they have two kids. Don’t know what happened since I moved away. Sexual frustration is a real thing though
OMG I REMEMBER WATCHING U IN 2016 U CHANGED SMMM
My boyfriend and I are in our early 20’s and we don’t even have that much sex. Why does this guy have such a high standard for his wife??? Especially after she had 2 kids!!!!
I will literally never get behind this "open relationship" jig. It just seems so absurdly disrespectful to your partner. If you don't want to be in the relationship, just end it on a good note.
Divorce.
I’m genuinely curious, why is she so tired/ stressed when according to her he does sooooo much more than her and he’s not tired?
How has the husband coped with the one week in a month that his wife is on his period? Has he imploded in the meantime from the lack of sex? This guy has some issues. It's of course okay to want to have sex but this frequently? My god
tbf, some ppl don't mind having sex while being on their period
@@sauhirt8770 Apparently, it "feels better" when the female is actually on her period, it also helps alleviate headaches lol They just put down a blanket or towels that they just wash afterward I'm guessing 😂
@@deadsetondreams1988 "the female"...? It's pretty obvious here that the "apparently" in the beginning of your comment was needed. Better luck when you actually get a girlfriend.
P.S. Best regards: One of those "females"
@@deadsetondreams1988 yess exactly! a towel should do the trick
@@JUMALATION1 The female is the one who gets her period, therefore she would know if it feels better or not. Nothing would change for the guy in the scenario of period sex, except for the cleanup after the fact.
I wrote apparently because I personally have never had sex while being on my own period. So I wrote it apparently feels good because that's what I've had other females tell me was the case. They have actually had sex while on their period, and they said it feels better for them. I too am a female and get periods as well. So I'm confused about your confusion about my comment?
Damn now I'm wondering just how good does it feel for him to want to do it everyday 😂😂😂
Open marriage = STD's Tell him to go.
Let the buzzard fly. The end.
WOOO! Hope you’re doin well Ellen! ^u^
I hopr she dumped his ass.
i think it's not unfair to feel those things, esp because they were both people with high libido and that's part of how their relationship functioned, but it's unfair not to consider her feelings. however, he's telling her. he's trying to make himself clear. even if he did consider her feelings, he is displeased. he doesn't want this and doesn't want to resent her, as he said. so he's telling her so she can make her choices, which is good. i truly think tho that he should've suggested sexual things that cater to her a bit more to help get her in the mood, and they should've tried exploring new things. bc he clearly didn't just want her to go along w/ him, he wanted her to want him again. all i can say is poor kiddos tho
It's hard cause there's a lot of factors that play into it. If you prioritize the kids more, open marriage might be the answer. If you prioritize your self, divorce might be the answer, cause you wouldn't want to break yourself. BUT the guy is also very unrealistic. Even professionals believe that having sex that much is just too much.
how is open marriage a solution to prioritizing your children? The kids will grow up to know his father is fcking someone else while the mum sits at home. That's gonna be devastating.
True, but if she opens the marriage for the kids anyways, it'll likely turn into resentment for him or her family anyways, which defeats the point of the open marriage anyways that "having divorced parents is better than resentful ones". And if she does it for the kids sake, she might end up resenting them too, which is unfair on them. Open marriages are never a good idea when one is hesitant, or doesn't want to. It basically always ends in divorce or huge resentment, destroying the marriage anyways.
An open marriage is never a good option and to have one while you have kids is worse for the children than divorce.
Since the children are so young, she has a lot of time to find a father figure. I think she should divorce for both her and the children.
@@hollybrooke322Do you have any proof for this? Lmao
Damn its like two full square 🐱 a day
me as an asexual watching the entire video: 💀
Help! For some reason I can’t find her merch store! Can someone send me the link?
I agree with the guy.
Wait I’ve never been this early 😭
i love your videos!
I love your videos kyutie
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For the last one I really think Kyutie was judging him too hard. Now whilst I believe that he should probably get therapy himself because 10+ times a week does seem excessive, everyone's different and no one is in the wrong for having different needs. It sucks that they just are sexually incompatible now. But he's clearly trying to do the right thing hence why he's being honest with her and saying he can't stay in this monogamous relationship. Also it was kind of rude how she talked about open marriages... Like no you don't 'lose' your partner. As long as you set good ground rules and stay honest and communicate with each other it can help lots of people. Just because something isn't the norm doesn't mean it's necessarily bad, and just because it wouldn't work for you doesn't mean it's not perfect for others. That being said, I think they should go for divorce because it's clear the wife wants a more traditional marriage which is also her prerogative.
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How are you doing? How are you feeling? I hope just great!! In the very first story, yes the both of ya'll lives have changed and hopefully for the better though. Ya'll children are just 3 and 4 years old so they definitely require a whole lot of attention. Before they were getting busy 24/7, but the birth of her babies slowed that down immediately because she can't move the same way that she use to neither can he because they both have got responsibilities now majorly. He wants to divorce her and leave the marriage because she doesn't want to make love to him regularly, then he's a complete loser who was just using her for her body. What doesn't he understand, he's a parent now so all of the things that he use to do with his wife are gone for a very long time now. Why did he even have babies with her because it's obvious to see that he's not ready at all for children. Leave him because ya'll have two completely different lives now. I love you my dear sweet friend!! Have a great day!! Stay safe!!
Tbh I may be one of the few who sides with both the wife and husband. Most of the people here seem to take the wife’s side and are upset at him. They only see the negatives despite all the positives the wife described about her husband. So for now I’ll give a different opinion that isn’t full on hating him since most of the comments already do that.
Around 9 years he’s acted pretty well for a husband. He’s the breadwinner of the host currently, he loves their children and spends time with them, likes to clean a lot, cooks a lot, etc. The wife described their relationship as patient and caring. He was understanding after she lost her libido and talked about how it should be expected since she gave birth and went through a tough time. He was okay with their changed sex life for 2 years after that. After a while, he communicated and asked to see if there could be a solution about her lost libido, in a gentle way. He suggested couples therapy first and an endocrinologist to see if there was anything wrong. Continued for a year. He had a serious talk and cried (very first time she saw him cry like that) and honestly told how he felt. He had a talk about being fine with working on getting their sex life back, but not in a way where she felt forced to do it when she didn’t want it. He suggested divorce with co-parenting or open marriage. He expressed how if they stayed together he may end up resenting her. Which has happened to many couples so it’s reasonable to think this and be afraid of this. He’s also right about the kids would likely be better having separated parents than parents still together and resenting each other (which is shown by many kids with divorced parents who prefer that).
Of course, he is selfish in a way that he really wants sex and can’t go long without it. Even not being able to hold onto a marriage for it. (Not giving up the kids since he clearly said co-parenting). But then again, every human being is selfish. That’s what most break ups are. Many break ups are suggested by one person and the other likely protesting against it. Even if it’s a one-sided decision, it’s still valid. I believe if he was truly selfish, he would’ve not given the option to divorce and instead only wanted an open marriage. That way he would be able to have it all- that would be true selfishness. The divorce option was not selfish due to the fact that it’s thinking about the kids and the wife. It’s better to end a relationship that isn’t working out and spare the kids the painful experience of watching parents have to stick together for their sake. With the divorce, she could find someone else and be happy with a different partner too. They both can co-parent their children. In my opinion, they would be better off divorcing rather than going through the pain of forcing it to work. Even if it sounds unreasonable for the husband to act this way- he seems to have been holding it in for a long time. It felt like him crying was his breaking point from the stress of it eating away at him. He seemed pretty honest with how he felt. It also didn’t seem like the wife really expressed much what she wanted to him. Maybe that’s why it felt more one-sided since she didn’t include her opinion on what she wants in their sex life.
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Anyways, I also think the husband should seek some help either with his own therapist or medically. I think he’s either addicted to sex, maybe he has some past issues/trauma psychologically that makes him feel like sex is a need in the relationship, or has some mental/physical condition that makes him feel this way. I don’t exactly know if it’s true or not since I didn’t do research and only heard experiences- but there may be people who genuinely do have conditions where they are addicted to sex. Hyper-sexuality may be one of them (i may be wrong btw), which if I remember correctly can be caused by traumatic experiences.
Dang didn’t notice how much I wrote- my bad lol. I write comments horizontally on my tablet so it looks a lot smaller when the sentences are written and put together. It looks way bigger when it’s pit together and looked at vertically
HEY ELLEN 👋
❤U
Third!
Here's your bronze medal! ====> 🥉
hiiiiiii
Hello!!!❤❤❤
Husband doesn't know what he is asking. Adding a third person to the marriage is a recipe for disaster. The wife could probably make a little more effort to be receptive, and he could make more of an effort to not approach her so often. but those are issues for a couple to work through, not a menage a trois.
Sup
I'm early again yay!
Shadow boxer I’m i third
Nope. Sixth.
Idk, it seems he has been trying to adjust for a few _years_ so I don't think he's in the wrong at all.
Sure he has an unusually high sex drive, but that is what it is.
I don't think he should have to defend that anymore than someone with a low sex drive.
Its unfortunate but it is what it is.
So what do you think is the solution? Open marriage? Divorce?
@@terryfilkohazi2237 I think thats up for them to decide.
So many people are just acting like he's in the wrong and just "suck it up", he obviously can't, he has been trying and they need to have a good discussion about it without OP screaming to start.
Nobody has the right to demand sex, but if you are demanding their monogamy they have earned the right to a discussion when you shut their sexlife down.
Yeah I’m surprised you’re the only one who also noticed that. I feel like a ton of these comments who are upset are women who just let their emotions and say,patchy for the lady take over and didn’t actually bother to see multiple details the wife clearly left in. She never described him to be a bad man once, so I believe that’s saying something. Majority of the people on the comments only see the negatives about the husband despite the positives the wife left all over the post.
@@chiomoriiI'm also a woman so... idk about that part.
But yeah.
@@ricebeansrockroll882 I’m also a woman lmao. That still doesn’t change the fact that majority are women making the comments as observations from profile pics and usernames. There wasn’t shade towards the gender part, but facts based on using my eyes lol
That's why it's a good thing to have two or three wives to feel emotionally connected. It's too bad she lost her sex drive usually for a lot of people that's the only connection we got to humanity to feeling loved needed wanted too bad for her and too bad for him. Sucks to be married sucks to have two children involved in it too. I actually think the two of them need to work it out somewhere there's got to be a happy medium without involving the whole f****** world into their private business. This is hers and this is his problem it's not ours to say.
First
Actually second.
But here's your silver medal! ====> 🥈
@@shadowboxer1 AHHH THANK YOU!!!💖💖
This is why ure single, Ellen... With a face like urs, a body like urs, a "job" like urs, n a personality like urs, if u don't even know what compromising in a marriage means, ull end up with a worse personal story than this.
"yours" and these are definitely not the relevant reasons lol. It is obvious that the man needs to compromise a lot here in the story. His expectations are insane and is a recipe to stay single for life, because no woman can keep up with that, especially after having children
Hate to break it to you but 40s is NOT old when sex is involved...