Egg Donor Regrets?! Emotions after the twin babies were born
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- In the beginning of this year, I donated my eggs to my best friends going through the surrogacy process. It was physically and emotionally exhausting but totally worth it. If you'd like to hear about the process I went through click heree: • Being an Egg Donor Exp...
Since the twin baby girls have been born, I get tons of questions about whether I feel a maternal connection with them and how I've been dealing with the whole situation. I wanted to make this update video to share my feelings on it and answer your questions! Please feel free to leave any other questions in the comments!
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Some of these comments are so horrible why judge her because she doesn’t want to be a parent? There is a lot of women and also men who don’t want children. I think what she did was brave, amazing, a blessing, and she’s very strong!. What a wonderful thing you did!
TheGingerFamily
At least she’s very honest about it. My aunt and some one I went to school is the same exact way. Not everyone wants kids and it’s 100% okay.
Yeah. People are absolutely insane. Looking at all the abuse and neglect of children in the world, WTF? So people are supposed to be forced to have kids when they don;t want them? She's not maternal. That's okay!!!! Not everyone is. ,
cynt macz,
that’s a wad of righteous manure right there 🤨
I support fertility technology I’m centrist on it I support regulation itself the process that’s dependent
as for compensation Im supportive method dependent
though your opinion differs she is brave in that she gave up part of her fertility to gift others with reproduction opportunity also the method utilized is hardship
your similar with folks that try to impose reproduction
each individual has the right to have the opportunity both to reproduce and not to reproduce
TheGingerFamily, YES! Kids aren’t for everyone and that is perfectly fine. The fact she acknowledges this fact and was so selfless to give such a precious gift to her best friends.
I don’t understand why people seem to think everyone should want children. There is no shame in wanting to be childless. May God bless her 10 fold.
cynt macz get
Off your soap box
I think you were the best candidate for this situation. If you did fall in love with the twins, I feel like it'd be a whirlwind of emotions trying to barrier that desire to be their mother. But since you didn't feel that way you're allowing for a great and HEALTHY relationship with the girls along with Erik and Adam which is the most important of all.
She has stated she loves them but never wanted the responsibility of being a parent. She has the best of both worlds. She's like a favorite aunt or grandmother. She gets to love them but does not have the major responsibility of raising them. She gets the good with none of the bad. She also knows their fathers would make good responsible parents so she knew she would have no worries there.
There is nothing wrong with not feeling maternal or not wanting to have children! You are a strong, powerful woman!
Thank you! A lot of people feel it's wrong to not want children, but it'd be more selfish to bring a child into the world if I feel I wouldn't be the best parent. We are all strong, powerful women!
It's because people think everyone should be just like them. There is nothing wrong with not wanting kids (and I am a breeder lol)
Why the hell do people think women have to have kids?!
At least you're honest about it and I respect you for it. There are parents out there who clearly shouldn't have kids/be parents...being a parent is a serious responsibility & commitment and it's best to know beforehand whether or not you're up to the task.
Agree
Girl, not even the parents always fall in love with their OWN kids straight away.
I love my kids more than anything in this world now, but when I first seen my first born, I was like okay cool. I guess it’s cute for a potato.
Jade Mckechnie truth!
Jade Mckechnie wow that's crazy! I fall in love with babies I see at the grocery store HAHAH!
Jade Mckechnie my baby was born screaming and pooping at the same time and I was like “what is this creature omg what do i do” And was just kind of like wanting to hand her to my husband 😂😂😅 I also pushed for 3 hours so I was trying to stay awake.. 🤣 my eyes were closing. Definitely not what I expected but I am soooo in love with our little girl now 😍😍😍
Jade Mckechnie With my second son, without thinking, I said, “he’s so ugly” which horrified everyone present!! But, I was horrified with all the blood and vernix on him😂👶🏻❤️!!!!!!
same.
From a donor egg recipient, thank you for being so selfless. I went through the menopause aged 13 so had no chance of having my own children. I now am expecting my second donor egg conceived son. My world is complete and I am so in love like they are my own. Ignore the negativity, I get it alot! like people expected me just not to have children and except my fate (ive had that comment!) but also that I should of adopted and not of been selfish. So I did not deserve to experience pregnancy because my hormones failed before their time.
Well done for educating people and showing another side to egg donation xx
Girl they are yours! Prenatal and postnatal epigenetics, as well as your miRNA influencing fetus is making those children yours. Yes starting genetic code is from someone else, but genes expression and activations are uterus work.
@LVT no really you don't say that about the surrogate
@@Nolanoyayo Ppl dont know the influence of prenatal epigenetics. Genes expression and selection are done inside the uterus, you can look at genes as computers, and prenatal epigenetics as software put in computers.Plus postnatal epigenetics, nurture etc. Those children would look and be something else if some other women would carry them for 9 months. So those children are hers and hers alone (with the genetic start of some other women). Maybe you should check the experiments done on horses.
@@lvt2050 Epigenetics is a thing but it does not change the genes and therefore does not change the physical appearance of the child. Epigenetics is more about nurturing the health and growth of the child, so can have an impact on the child’s immune system for example. The whole process of pregnancy, giving birth and nurture is amazing.
@@MsChitterchat It does not change the genes, but epigenetics change the expression of the genes, thats what we know so far. I believe uterus have even more influence, partially due to the experiments done on horses, but time will tell, remember couple years ago doctors were CERTAIN that uterus is just a box. without any influence on a child.
Such a good video idea! Ive never heared it from the donor's point of view.
You should check out It'sJustKelli she was an egg donor as well and she is very open of the whole process
xoxXOXO l You know I did this for free right? I was not compensated a single dollar, I just wanted to give my best friends the opportunity to have a family.
I'm a 44 year old woman who chose not to have children. I've never regretted that decision. But I have found fulfillment in my work,family, and friends. If I could give you a piece of advise it's find your joy. That one thing that when you think about it,it brings a smile to your face. I really enjoy your vlogs. Keep being the amazing woman you are!!
My sister never wanted kids and she would get really upset when people would always ask her! She has never regretted her decision!
Thank you for sharing. I've often wondered if i would regret the decision once i got much older... Its good to know there are people out there that DON'T regret the decision.
So well said Sandee B! As a mom of 5 at 44, I knew my entire life that I wanted children. When infertility showed up it was even stronger. I think that it is admirable when women can say 'hey I really don't want to be a mom and I'm ok with that" ... We are all strong in our own ways :)
Brandi Evjen See this is what I don't like about the world. Most people think you HAVE to have kids. You don't. It's rude in my opinion to ask if someone is going to have kids. Do what makes you happy, if not having kids makes you happy then so be it. I want to be a mom someday and it doesn't upset me when people say they don't want kids, kids isn't for everyone!
Sincerely Maddie Exactly! It is beyond rude. I don't get why people cannot accept other people's choices, but try to control or impose their own philosophy on others, even family and friends are the most guilty. When are you going to college? when are you going to get married? When are you getting pregnant? Won't you give your child a sibling? Why don't you want children? Dumb questions! Thank God I am too single minded to allow these questions get to me, drove those people crazy and now I am the one smiling as I stayed true to myself and made the decisions not for the society but for me!
Maternal instincts would kick in if you carried a baby. BUT babies aren’t for everyone and that’s perfectly fine!
Not necessarily. There are lots of people who regret having their kids. There are lots of women that the oxytocin doesn't kick in, and they don't bond. People don't talk about it, because it's not "polite" and because women are embarrassed and shamed for not loving their children, or regretting having children...but there are entire online communities of them, and it's a real thing. Especially women who were pressured from a romantic partner to have children to save their relationship.
Heather Morgan yes, I agree... my mother just got children because "women should have kids", but she never loved or cared for us, she didn't even want us around and always told us either "i have no time I have to do the housework" or "It's my break, leave me alone" and when there were other people around she suddenly change to the "perfect loving mother", cuz she just cared what others thought....she told us everyday that we ruined her life and she gave everything up for us (freedom....she didn't work, she was a housewife basically her whole life ) We were raised really strict, weren't allowed to do anything and even though we were all really well behaved kids (I don't know any other kids who were so rule obeying as we were, we did never do stuff that we weren't allowed to do before our late teens were we all kinda rebelled, cuz we couldn't take it anymore) we aways did everything wrong
*Not every mother has that instinct and if a woman doesn't want to have kids she should never have them!*
Hey! humans dont have maternal instincts. It gets me crazy that people keep repeating it. It is psicologicaly proven that humans do not pocess maternal instincts.
@Greg Dobson Psicology has proven humans lack maternal instincts. Ppl kee saying " my mother instincts" and humans have none!
@Greg Dobson Do I really need to cite books from a 7 year career? Hormonal changes are not insticts, Im not denying the changes, and psycology doesnt either. Hormonal changes do occur, but an instinct is something an animal or human is born with it is a natural response. Animals have the instinct to reproduce and to immediatley know what they need to do as an example a mother cat knows she needs to lick her babies in order for them to poo or pee. Humans arent born with those particular instincts (mother instincts) unfortunatley and people tend to confuse the feelings, or the body and hormonal changes women go through during pregnancy, with those.
Humans have sex with more purposes besides reproduction; we do not have the instinct or the urge to reproduce, it is something that was learned and kind of imposed after many years by societys and religions . Animals on the other hand have sex ONLY for reproduction purposes ( except dolphins). I hope you can tell the difference im trying to explain
You and Corrine are two of the most selfless woman I have ever seen! You both gave Erik and Adam the greatest gift in the world! Y’all have a special place in heaven reserved for you! Three! ❤️❤️❤️
You and Corrin are amazing for giving this gift to Adam and Erik. The girls are absolutely adorable and I have no doubt you will be an amazing Auntie :) hugs
Thanks so much Kim!
Kim DuClos when watching the video i don't know how corrine did it after carrying them in her womb and the whole labor and delivery and i hope she didn't get baby blues
Who is Corrine again?
@@elenagibbons4719 I think it might be one of the dad’s SIL’s ???
@@elenagibbons4719 Eric's brother's wife so the girls' aunt. She acted as surrogate.
You are so brave and selfless for doing this!!! I loved hearing your story and I know you will have an incredibly fulfilled life ❤️❤️
As a surrogate myself, I never was attached either...I felt more like a nanny, baking my charge. LOL
...I have had many people be surprised, that after 9 months, I felt no huge attachment.
I went into though, as carrying someone else's child...and never saw it any differently, but having no genetic ties, was likely the main reason that I was able to disconnect in that way.
...I am still friends with the parents of the boy I carried, and he is in high school now.
He's a great kid, and I will always be proud of that accomplishment...I helped to make a family, so I get to revel in that forever. ^_^.
That was how I felt, and two friends of mine did surrogacies as well...so we felt similarly about it, but I can't speak for everyone.
...definitely consider doing the surrogacy in a state like California, that you can literally get parental rights, before the baby is even born.
I'm really glad you did that!
I love it when you said, “they are not my children.” You are an amazing person with everything you do. You will find yourself one day.
I WAS ABOUT TO REPLY THE SAME THING. Heartless souls
Thats...a strange comment... Not sure what this world is coming to...
@Fleur Laser i agree... very disturbing
She didn't carry them. It's just her dna. She didn't go through the pregnancy. The pregnancy is what creates the bond . It's not any different than a sperm donor
That should be a sin. You made it it’s yours even if it’s for another family. How are you gonna say it’s not your children. I would be mad if I were her kids and watched this when I got older.
You are amazing. Those 2 girls are very loved. So much love brought them into the world. Thank you so much for sharing💕
You are honestly a great person for donating your eggs, which you don’t want to use yourself, to your friends who wanted children. It’s alright for you to not want your own children- they’re not for everyone. You’re a brilliant person for doing this 💞
You and Corrin gave a gift that is beyond anything else. I have so much respect for the both of you. As hard as all this may be emotionally, you will be so Blessed all y'alls lives. The girls are perfect. You and Corrin will be the Best Aunts ever! ♡
You are an amazing person giving life to a family who couldn't is the most beautiful thing that God created for you to do
Adrianne and Renay Adventures who is corrin?
Adrianne and Renay Adventures is corrin her partner ?
@@yesnoxo7776 Corrin is not her partner. She is the surrogate. Corrin is the aunt to the twins.
@@SerenaN724 Corrin is the surrogate.
As someone who does not want children, you did an amazing thing helping create just beautiful little girls by donating your eggs. Kudos!
Agree
As a potential recipient parent, thank you for being so gracious and such a strong and sensible perso throughout this process. One word of advice from a woman who thought she never wanted kids: Pregnancy changes your brain chemistry ENORMOUSLY. I went from "do I even want to be a Mom" to "why didn't I do this sooner, it's too late for a (bio) number 2". So if you are IN ANY WAY on the fence at all, consider freezing some eggs.
Julie, being Italian myself, I was really wondering how your family felt as well. I love that they support you and they support McHusbands. I just have to say that your maternal moment was when you saw them and knew you helped create something amazing. You love them like an Aunt would and that will be more then enough. What you did was selfless and amazing!!!! :)
Egg donation is a great thing! Don't let anyone reassure you. You underwent stimulation and this should be compensated I believe as there are risks. I myself have to find an egg donor to become a mom and I am extremely grateful for this opportunity we have. Such women like you who decide to be egg donors or surrogate mothers give us, infertile, much hope.
i wonder of part of that guilt is the pressure society places on women being mothers. they always say oh you'll change your mind when you get older and just press that having kids is the best things women can do and if they don't there is something wrong with them. even though i changed my mind and want kids it doesn't mean you have to
Julie, how wonderful that you and the McHusbands are going public on your own about such an important topic. Best wishes for all of you!
My thoughts: THESE babies don't look like aliens to you because you are biologically wired to think they are cute so you don't hurt them.
Evolution and nature and all that! lol
Ahahah, makes sense!
Interesting I never thought of that!
I'm an non gentically related bystander and i didn't think they looked like aliens at all. And yes, many MAAAANY others do look like aliens or squished up potatoes lmao
xoxXOXO l what do you mean
Thank you for the video! I only watched surrogates talkibg about their feeling but not an egg donor. You're right I believe that being a part of something new, helping to create something it's invaluable. I'm so excited to hear from you and do hope that my biotexcom egg donor would be also proud of what she's done for our family. You are amazing!
You and corrin are amazing women! Thoes girls have so many people who love them! 😍😙
I believe it takes a VERY strong person to give this gift. I could never do it just because I have babies of my own BUT I have alwaaaays looked up to women who can help other women. Kudos to you. They’re beautiful.
OMG, I can relate to you 105% I m 22 and I been like this since forever and probably won't change my mind. It's hard to relate to people cause when you say you don't want kids they judge you to be not normal and selfish. 💔 I m glad you shared this
You are only 22! Highly possible you will change your mind so keep this door open and find a good reliable man.
@MsChitterchat I did change my mind, and I am currently married.:) I found a good man.
@@munnesa1Alhamduillah 😊 x
I think what you have done is incredible. You have a wonderful heart and have given a beautiful gift. Please remember your maternal Instincts would be different had you have carried the baby yourself because of the hormones that you would have produced during and after the pregnancy. I don't believe anyone should have a child to fill a void . I know that's not what you were saying but loads of people do . You do need to find fulfillment before becoming a parent. Loving yourself first and foremost is the key to inner peace. I really appreciate how brutally honest you were and I really admire you for it. You seem really aware of your own thoughts and feelings which is really healthy. You will find love believe me. You deserve it and you deserve happiness.
For the people have nasty things to say to this selfless woman. She shouldn’t have feelings towards these baby’s there not hers. What she did for her friends is amazing and selfless. When you donate your eggs you have given up the baby she came to terms with her decision. What she has done is amazing so back off with you negativity. You don’t know the situation and should feel good there’s people in this world that would help other people in such a way
Um... they are hers wtf are you talking about 💀 her Gene's her babies
She didn't carry them. She's not raising them. They are not "hers" in any scenario. These babies have two parents, she's their dear aunt and they are genetically related, period. They are also genetically related with their dads, by the way. This is more about technology than money.
If you don't like or understand a video but it's not harming anyone you can just leave, watch something else. There is no great accomplishment in leaving hurtful comments on UA-cam with the single purpose of disagree with someone you never met and probably will never meet. You are not cool or smart because you wrote a mean and witty comment. Don't be a troll. You can disagree without being rude.
@@madridflower those babies are not a product on a shelf, they are her period it doesnt matter who's household it's in it doesnt matter who's baby it is legally, because they are her babies she is the mother.. go back to science class and learn how one becomes an offspring, cause clearly you have the logic of a dimwit
Sidney McCombs Im sorry you and a few commenters cannot grasp the concept of what she did and the situation.
I'm also glad you are not in any of these people real life, because obviously you don care, you don't want to understand, you just want to be right. I get it. You don't want to debate, you are not seeking information, you just plainly disagree.
Good for you. You got you message across.
Now go away.
Sidney McCombs , I can read. I understood what you're saying the first time you said. Don't agree. Now go away, please.
Hi there! I am an infertile of 32 year old who could not conceive a child. I've never regretted that decision because may be it not in my fate. But I have found fulfillment in my work,family, and friends. If I could give you a piece of advise it's surrogacy. That one thing that when you think about it,it brings a smile to your face. No doubt kids are blessings. Keep being the amazing woman you are!!
It is such a wonderful, though complex situation: two girls, half sisters, but they experienced their pregnancy and their birth and the time after that as twins - two biological fathers and they are as a couple the social parents - two mothers of whom one provided her eggs and the other her uterus and her entire body for nine month. Four pairs of grandparents and a number of other family members. I could draw a map to visualize all the relationship. What i really like that you all founded a new and more free and extended concept of family. It is new, it is not only biological, but it is full of love, responsibility and humanity. Congratulations!
This comes from a person that is also childless and is 90% sure she does not want kids. Resist the temptation to label yourself or to put limitations on your experience. I actually have more love for dogs than I do human children and see myself as a dog mom. You did a great thing for your friends and you should be proud of yourself. Never turn your egg babies away in the future and maybe you can still be a formative part of their lives without "raising" them.
Yes to avoid feelings of rejection for the girls.
If I ever need an Aunt Julie I’ll call you, you’re awesome. Thanks for being honest💞
Julie..recently I watched the episode where the McHusbands were comparing their baby pictures (including yours, the third one)..comparing with their babies..I don't recall the comments..I was so into witnessing your sadness..how you were so trying to keep it together..on your own..my heart broke..am happy to have found this video..am in awe of the gifts you offered to two men who are wonderful parents! ..your daughters are beautiful, calm, well adjusted...love you..moi, canada
You have given these Dads the greatest gift ever, bless you. You will be a wonderful aunt. I think as they get a little older you'll bond a little better, when they can talk and walk, turn into little persons.
Thank you! Yeah it's exciting to think about them growing up and being able to bond with them on another level :]
my daughter, now 24, has always said, since she could talk that she didn't want kids. I never pushed her one way or another and told her to do what her she thinks is best. I love and support her no matter what. I understand that it must have been difficult for your mom, I never thought of it further than the egg donor, but it makes sense. I would also find it hard, but totally accept if my daughter chose to donate her eggs. I would want to see the child/children though. Gosh I'm rambling!! lol Just want to say good for you for allowing others to be able to have a family.
Selfless. No other word to describe it. You did a great thing. They are very loved little girls who have 2 wonderful parents.
That's an incredibly generous thing you did. I'm sure your friends will forever be grateful to you.
YOU are going to complete yourself & your life! You don't need anything from the exterior, its all in you to make yourself complete. Enjoy!
Everyone’s allowed to have their own opinion and this is her. A very honest and raw video. Good for you for giving someone the chance to be parents!
Hi julie,
I'm impressed with your honesty, no doubt you don't want kids it's your choice and I respect you for that, God bless you for this video and helping someone become a parent, regards, Bob frate
I love what you said, ‘we’re all family now’. You brought together your family, Adam’s and Eric’s. Those girls are so lucky to have such an extended family.
In my experience, I have wanted kids so so so badly my entire life. I've always known I want to be a mom, I loved babysitting and holding and doting on babies all my life. With the birth of both of my children, I didn't have that "In love" feeling right away. I can't remember how long it took with my first (more than a day) but With second it took about a week because she looked so different from my first it threw me off. 😂 Not all mom's have that "Immediately in love" feeling even after carrying their babies for 9 months.
And I'm not saying they are "Your kids" but just that it's normal for moms who have spent a lot of time preparing and getting ready to meet THEIR babies to not fall in love with them immediately. So it's not horrible or a sure sign you weren't meant to be a mother that you didn't bond with someone else's babies right away.
This is amazing! This is so honest and even though I'm a mother, I felt guilty at first from the way I "should've" felt or "should've" bonded. I also felt like I didn't love my daughter the way I "should've". Motherhood was kind of a slow progression for me. Of course I loved her immediately, but it wasn't the passionate, "use my body as a shield if she was in danger" way. It was like a relief love. Like I loved that she was here and safe and I was too. Then my love grew.
One of my biggest life lessons was to accept and be content with the way I feel at anytime. Be accepting of sadness, happiness and not feeling like everyone else does. I love her and I never doubted it, just felt like I didn't love her the way I needed and that wasn't the case. Just like you felt. You love them as an aunt. Not as a mother because you now realize you shouldn't, but you thought back then you should've and felt that guilt.
You did a wonderful thing. The girls are beautiful and I am sure Auntie Julie is going to spoil them and team them all they need to know as a woman. Being an aunt is the best. You get all of the love and none of the attitude! ;-)
You are such a sweet person and there is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting children. My 23 old daughter also does not want children and she was wondering if it was alright that she didn’t have that motherly instinct. She thought something was wrong so I told her there was absolutely nothing wrong. Just because she is a woman doesn’t mean she has to have babies. It was a very wonderful thing you did for your friends. You’re one cool lady.
There’s something in your voice that sounds like a Mother’s does when you speak about the babies. It’s particularly evident when you talk about Addison’s initial crying and Everest’s immediate acceptance. Your body language and eyes really express joy and love. Not saying you want the day to day but if I had to guess, I’d say you’d do that too, now! Wonderful future coming your way! 2 GIRLS ‼️😝
Agreed
You did a beautiful thing gifting these men with the beauty that is being a father. Although you don't want children of your own, you can legit be the best aunt that you absolutely can to the girls c: theres absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel towards the girls or having your own children. Im terribly sorry for the rude people down in the comments. They wouldn't understand what its like to be in your shoes, even I wouldn't understand what you're feeling completely but I do understand the fact you have your own plans for yourself and children aren't one of those plans. Dont let anyone bring you down girl, just enjoy life. You're young. Who knows maybe you'll be a model or something here in the next couple years? Anything can happen. There isn't ever really a "plan" per say, so enjoy life and what it may throw at you c:
I told the guys when I met them , how amazing it is for someone to do that esp their best friend. You have such a huge heart. Good things are coming to you. 😀
I understand it all. I have been a surrogate with 3 different couples. 3 tries for each couple. With a total of 9 times. Years later I donated my eggs 3 times. I have 2 children of my own. As my children got older they found all of this out. My daughter cried out of joy. She had just became a mother herself. My son was going through IVF at the time for a baby. I kept papers, gifts and books that I had been given during those times in a hope chest. My daughter found them while going through stuff one day. While she cried, I explained how the struggle is real for some. And how the struggle years later was now with my own child, my son. It helped us all. More so my children. But as for me, it was something that I had not looked at for over 20 years. But thought of often. Like did children ever come from my donated eggs. Surrogacy did not work for me. So I knew that there were no children through that. But as my daughter found out. I do have 2 daughters through egg donation. I know they are not mine. Only biological. Much to my surprise, both girls are sisters through one of my surrogate couples. They bought my eggs donated years later. Back years ago egg donation was private. Not anymore! And ancestory has changed things for alot of people. DNA does not lie. The 2 girls are beautiful and very successful. And as my daughter dug deeper and found them. We found out that they had lost their father 10 years ago. And their mother wanted me to know all of these years. It is a small world. Because I remember 20 years ago of them begging for my eggs. But I did not want to carry my own child through surrogacy. I knew they only had 6 embryos left and was hoping that another surrogate carried a baby for them. They did. Mine........I did surrogacy and egg donation. Because I was a mother. And I wanted others to share the joy too. I have cried, they have cried. I am 53 now. With 3 grandbabies (3yrs, 6 mon & 3 mon) And yes my son got his blessing July 2018. She is beautiful! You have an amazing heart Julie and alot of love for Eric, Adam and Korin. And now Addisen and Everest. Beautiful family and friends! Love from Texas ❤
Bonnie Jennings first comment that made me cry i knew this was coming lol
Yesno Xo- I hope they are happy tears darling. Never meant to make anyone cry. We all have a story. And this was just part of my journey. Much love to you! Love from Texas ❤
Seeing a baby that you mentally know is from you and actually growing a baby and experiencing your own pregnancy are different situations. Don't be upset that you didn't feel maternal instinct. Your mind and emotions just couldn't connect and set off those certain feelings of falling in love. I believe the beauty of pregnancy is knowing you're carrying life inside you.. so maybe babies will be for you later on in your future.. just keep an open mind ♡
I don’t know if you will ever read this comment but I’d like to present it anyway. The way you describe the emotions of not being in love with them and this feeling reinforces your decision to not have children of your own is perfect. Crying and accepting a huge part of who you are is like a final part of the grieving process, if that makes sense. Sounds odd to grieve for what you never wanted but any kind of loss can invoke the grieving. I’m with you on the Aunt thing. I love children but terrified of raising my own. I love being the aunt to my nieces and nephews. I get all the perks of the grandparents without the stress of being the parent! Right now your living with them so this will give you another wonderful experience.
Biologically, you are their mother and they carry your genes regardless of wether you feel connected or not with them.
So?
I think these babies and the McHusbands were PART of your purpose in life but you're obviously on earth for something even BIGGER which not many people can say for themselves. Thank you for being so honest and raw with us ❤️💖
Society tell us we need to be married and with children. Even with children, your heart has to be whole already- children don't complete us
You’re not giving yourself credit. You didn’t owe the kids anything emotionally as you said you’re not their mom, but without you they wouldn’t be here. In gestational surrogacy your voice is often the most forgotten and you are so incredibly brave for helping your best friends do this as you completed their lives with a tremendous and emotional gift, but are still on your journey. It’s okay to be on your journey!!! This is the best gift you can give them.
Very honest perfect video.. that's a great gift for your friends
Thanks Tiffany!
Very well said. Good for you for being so well minded and thoughtful about the best for everyone involved. They're beautiful and you did an amazing thing for equally amazing people. One day those girls will thank you! This is what a family should look like.
I commented on Erik and Adams video with you but I also wanted to comment on here and say you are amazing . It takes a special person to be able to give that gift of life to others. You will always have a special bond with the girls because of it💗
Love your honesty. And if I can be honest as well...I just wanted to say that first moment that initial connection that you explained that you didn't have is completely normal when talking about mother and child. Many mom's don't have that initial connection and that all in love euphoric feeling. So I just wanted to tell u that. There's nothing wrong with u girl. You are perfect. Whether u decide to have kids or not. You're still perfect. x
You are beautiful inside and out. You did something amazing❤
Thank you Gina!
I happened to come across your video realizing I'm so subscribed to the parents channel!! LOVE THEM!! BEST PARENTS EVER!
*Mutilated Angel* ** 👋 where can i find a link to their channel? Thanks !
Guess what? You're normal! Take it easy on yourself. 😘❤
“...Because we’re all family now, and that’s a beautiful thing.”
I’m sure why you didn’t get maternal instinct feelings when you held them was because you didn’t carry them for 9 months. If the time ever comes when you want a baby you’ll get those “instincts” from the entire 9 months of carrying them. Yes they used your eggs but that doesn’t mean you should have an emotional connection or feel like a monther
Mother *
Yeah, I was surprised how often I got asked if I felt like their mother. If I felt like that'd be the case I probably wouldn't have donate my eggs in the first place aha.
gloria aldana I don't have maternal instincts and I carried my daughter for 9 months. She's 14 now.
So according to your logic... Mothers who adopt don't feel a maternal instinct since they didn't carry their kids?
This is not true for all women.
Seeing the outcome of your egg donor experience was so beautiful. You, their dads and those babies are so precious. 💜
Oh Julie you gave an amazing gift. I know you will grow more in love with them and be the best Aunty ever. I'm so glad you made this video. I just yesterday was asking how you are doing. Just remember no matter what anyone says you are selfless. You are strong and amazing and gave a true gift of love. Now bring on the nail tutorials lol. I know I would love to get my nails done by you.
Thank you so much! Yes, more nail tutorials to come!!
I was really devastated due to my pregnancy issues. Even after 10 years of my marriage I was deprived of the true essence of life, my very own child. I was already done 3 IVF and felt really hopeless on this issue. Adding to it, I found out that I had thyroid too and my health conditions generally were also not good. I went for many treatments even those which were far away from my hometown but felt helpless and hopeless at the same time. Lately I heard about clinic in Europe and through surfing found out that their success rate was really high. Firstly I thought to let go as I already lost the faith in myself, then a voice came from inside me that lets try for the sake of the chance. Fortunately I was treated really well. My coordinator really helped me and boosted my confidence. Answered all of my queries and more than anything they all actually tried their best and not only provide me with each and every solution but also made my treatment successful.
Been really looking forward to hearing your views Julie. You have done the most amazing thing ❤️ Maybe you didn’t feel that maternal attachment because you know deep down they aren’t your children, they’re Erik and Adams’. X
I definitely think that's part of it! Thanks Emma!
It was a very generous act of kindness to be a donor for Adam and Erik! My thought is congratulations for knowing yourself as well as you do! Knowing you do not want to be a parent is a personal choice. Many people have babies and then do not want them. And, look at the cases for child neglect and even abuse. Far more of this behavior is around than we want to admit!!! However, it takes a decent and honorable person to admit they just do not want or really enjoy being around or taking care of babies and/or children . Again , it was wonderful of you to donate eggs to Adam Nd Erik for their daughters to be born. Those guys are devoted and loving parents and are so happy to be the father’s of Addisen and Everett. And, I admire you so much for helping and loving the entire MacHusband Family🤩👍🏻👏🏼
Julie for many years, I too looked for many different things that would make me feel like I was complete...in all honesty...reading the Bible and getting to know Him was the only time I have felt complete...I have an understanding, a different outlook on life, and a knowledge that could only come from knowing His story-history found within the Word. Maybe this scripture will speak to your heart:
Ephesians 3:19
"and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."
I love your story. Thank you for being kind enough to share. Lisa
You are a healthy woman, beautiful skin, your donation was compensated and twin girls is a joy for parents. Later in life you will feel satisfied
I think she did fall in love with them and that’s why her voice breaks down...
Yeah she did fall in love with them. She is in denial. When she talked about them her voice breaks down
Yup she had the motherly love. When they get older will they know who egg mom is?
@@momrivera8286 she was feeling that way because she didn't feel that motherly love. The whole point is that's okay, she can feel the love a person feels for their friends kids without it being a maternal kind of love moms feel after giving birth.
When I had my son, I thought I would feel overwhelming love feelings when he was born, but I didn't. It developed over time and grew and grew. He's 3 years old now and my heart explodes with love for him on the daily. So don't feel bad that you didn't have any special feelings when they were born, and I'm sure you will be a great auntie to them as they grow up! How special!
I'm obsessed w your nails
I just recently found Mchusbands and I love them. Today I stumbled on this video. Thank you for this. My daughter has no desire to have children and I have accepted that fact, but watching this video has really helped me to understand how she feels. 😘
It's funny how It's Erick and Everest vs Adam and Addison, if the DNA comes back that everyone's right the name similarities are a beautiful synchronicity
Nerdlen Reviews i love the name Everest as I’ve been obsessing over climbing stories lately and the concept of folks climbing Everest is like surreal!!!
You did an absolutely amazing thing for them, the girls are adorable.
I have quite a few friends who absolutely do not want to be mothers either, they get a lot of people telling them they might change their mind when they get older etc etc and every single one of them always says no they won't. When you've known your entire life, its never wavered and is still strong and unquestionable to you then its not going to change. I on the other hand have known my entire life that I do want to be a mother and thats never changed, I love kids and I always have but yes I remember that awkward how do I hold this thing stage. You are an awesome Aunty, and an awesome friend. You have found the perfect way to carry on your DNA but not have to be a mother, I am excited to see them grow and all of you grow with them
Biologically you are their mother. Legally your not. You are very strong to do this! 💗
Nancy Reichenbach emotionally she is not either, which I think is awesome that it worked out so well cause sometimes women may become attached.
She is the GENETIC mother. Birth mom is biological mother (genetic is also biologic, but bio is the one that carries the child/ren.). Oh, modern families! Wow, both look like genetic mother! There is no doubt a kinship. Sne is right, they ARE all family, now. The more loving family the twins have, tbe better, the richer, life will be! Hope they can work it out well! :)
You are totally entitled to any opinion you have and the heck with those ignorant people who don’t realize that. You are real!
Will the parents ever tell them that you are the biological egg donor?
+Tor's Asmr Yup! We’ve agreed to be open and honest with them from day 1.
Do you think that they someday will refer to you as mom?
Katrine & Fleur, that would be inappropriate. She was the egg donor, she is not the parent. The babies have two fantastic parents, so please do not insult them by saying they need another. Julie has a special place within that family, but she is "Julie". She is a lovely person who gave gifts; she doesn't want them back.
@@katrinexxx3796 if she's addressed as aunt Julie then im sure they wouldn't call her mom. You gotta think... Thatd be like you being raised by your mom and dad then calling your aunt mom... Those girls are growing up with 2 loving dads. I doubt they would feel the need to call someone else that
@@hilaryc3203 easier said then done. Those kids are going to want their mother regardless of how good their other parents are it's human nature and there's no changing that. Look at all the kids that go searching 4 their sperm donor dad. Put yourself in the kids' position you'd want your mom too.
Hands down to you , your a strong woman to donate your eggs etc you've done a good job cause Adam & Erik are amazing with the girls , the girls a lucky to have aunt Julie and help there daddy's become parents xox
How do you go about to donate your eggs , I would love to donate my eggs to people who can't have babies
Thank you! I think they best way to go about it is to do some research to pick a fertility centers and contact them about the next steps!
Why do people think that hey have any right to judge either way? I think you did an amazing thing for people very close to your heart. Matters what you all do with that ...not what anyone else ‘in the world’ has to say about anything.people ought to pay attention to they own selves...what a concept!
Thank you for sharing this. I am a mom of four who always wanted babies, and I usually have a hard time understanding people who don’t. You have done a really nice job of explaining your feelings and experiences in a rounded and raw way. It’s a really beautiful thing that you did for your friends.
6driscolls and some people don’t understand why you would want 4 kids. That represents 4 college tuitions...! At minimum you will be paying $200,000 for a four year education and tuition is only going up. Multiply that by 4 and that’s $800,000 minimum which is insane. Kids are expensive. If I ever have kids 2 will be my maximum. 😁
"I dont associate with babies, ever" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You are a truthful and sweet person, you have done a noble deed. Bless your heart lady. You are a true friend
The newborn stage isn't the most fun...as they grow u may enjoy the special bond w/ them more and for fulfillment maybe traveling or find another interest u enjoy doing. Just know that u did a wonderful thing julie
Thanks Bethany!
Dude Julie, first off thanks for your transparency. I was peaked by a recent video of yours with the girls and so here I am catching up so to speak.
I’m in the stage of my life debating on whether or not to have kids with my husband. I don’t know if I’m ready to give up my life quite yet and your story just put it in perspective for me. That I’m scared that it may not fill the void.
You’ve given me clarity and hope and thanks a shit ton for your bravery in your sharing your life.
Everest looks a little bit like you in my opinion, Addisen is ALL Adam so far haha I think you're an amazing person for this though!
Danielle L I thought the same about Everest!
Considering she is the egg donor the babies are going to look like her. It's called genetics.
Uh yeah Arol & Melissa, I gather that lol
Danielle L I think Addisen is ALL Erik👶🏻😂!!!!
@Floriduh Girl for giving someone else the gift of children... that normally wouldn't be able to... it's a PROCESS that she would have had to go through to harvest her eggs... to do that for someone else's joy is kind of amazing...
i love women who can say 'i dont want kids' being a parent is not easy.. yes i love my daughter but i find parenthood hard.. anyways.. its UR life and its okay to be selfish and say 'im happy with my life and dont want or need kids to complete it' really great of you to help your friend... but hope its open for the kids to ask questions etc x
"Omg they don't look like a alien" 👽😂😂😂
I think it is amazing and selfless what you did but as someone who was adopted I will say this: no matter how much I love my parents,I will always feel a connection to my biological mom and dad.
No matter what way you put it, you are their biological mom. One day they may see this video and it may hurt a little that you didn't fall in love when you first saw them.
However, this video will help many others going through is. And maybe you can be a part of your biological kids' lives-not as their parent but just as someone who cares about them. That way, they don't grow up missing a part of themselves.
OTHER peoples children won't fulfill you, no (even if they are from your eggs). I don't feel anything when I look at or touch other peoples babies, and I don't like other peoples kids. But my own babies, from my body? Yup. Total, crazy, to the moon and back love. A deep sense of satisfaction, feeling content, big warm and fuzzy emotions. I never wanted kids and now have 3. I'm not trying to say anything about your choices, just wanted to touch on my own experience.
P.S I never felt any sort on instant love for any of them either. I thought "oh, cute baby" but mostly it took time to get to know them and love them.
You are a very beautiful girl. Your friend is so lucky. It is so hard to find an egg donor especially some close frien. You did a very thoughtful and a giant favor to them. Kudos. I was not so lucky to have a friend to donate her eggs since it is so expensive in UK to find young and beautiful eggs donated, We headed to Cyprus. We were lucky to encounter a decent doctor there. I am very grateful to Dr Vedat
You didn’t carry the babies though. Pregnancy creates hormones that give you your maternal instinct! Even then, motherhood is glamorized in our society. It’s not all cakes and rainbows! It takes hard work to be a mother just like anything else in life.
Around We Go not every woman develops maternal instincts during pregnancy. All women are different and have different experiences.
I always said I was never having kids either. I am a mom of 3. I had my 1st at 25. I was not one of those "oh gimme my baby I know just what to do" moms, I was the crying in the rocking chair with the crying baby thinking "WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE" BUUUUT..I would never ever trade my kids for anything and I cannot imagine my life without them in it. Being a mom was a learning curve the entire road but it was worth it. If you never have children of your own that's ok but if you do, you will fall in love with them and be amazed by them and want to pull your hair out sometimes because of them, the whole spectrum because you created them. We never know what our future's hold. I never had a maternal instinct either but when I had mine, they grew inside of me and I felt them begin to move and watched them grow, I loved them. I do watch the girls grow up, I knew right off the bat Addison was Adams but Everest had me thinking but now as she has gotten older she is definitely Eric's girl.
thank you for this video.
my views on having kids are the same. I'm just not interested. this helps me a lot to know they are woman like me out there xx
I was hesitant to post this because I already get so much hate for not wanting to have kids. It really does help knowing it's more common than I think, thanks Kate!
Kate weglarz Of course there are great women like you who are selfless, truthful and intelligent. Your choice does not make you less of a woman.
As a mum of 8 children( 6 biological and 2 adopted). I respect honesty more than anything. I didn't allow the society to dictate what I can or can't do, not even my parents. All my friends were going crazy trying to make me do what they were doing but I put my feet down. I made sure I was in a great place for relationship and then for children.
I wouldn’t say children won’t fill that for you because your 100% right those little babes aren’t yours and the connection you would have with your own baby is different hands down. You might find yourself 10 years down the road and ready for that official mom title and that’s ok to 😍 either way you gave an amazing gift and should be so proud xx
I can appreciate your honesty.
You and Corrin gave a blessing that is past whatever else. I have such a great amount of regard for the both of you. As hard as this might be inwardly, you will be so Blessed all through your lives. The young ladies are great. You and Corrin will be the Best Aunts ever!