The Meme Battle that No One is Talking About: The Battle of Fuengirola | Animated History of Poland

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  • Опубліковано 1 гру 2024

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  • @MrDylan2125
    @MrDylan2125 4 роки тому +1870

    Poles have never fired a cannon before. Proceeds to roll straight natural 20s.

    • @submarineinthesky8946
      @submarineinthesky8946 4 роки тому +87

      ​@Polish Hero Witold Pilecki that inaccurate fire seemed to have sufficient psychological effect to sink a british gunboat on its first volley.

    • @colinsanders9397
      @colinsanders9397 4 роки тому +20

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki I've noticed that in a lot of military contexts, a lack of classroom training is not an indicator of ability. The the chataeu officers tend to overcomplicate things. That one NCO that paid attention when he was working with the gun-line doesn't know firing tables or saturation of fires, but he knows how to use the sights and trigger. It might not be the most efficient method, but it'll do in a pinch.

    • @JohnsonTheSecond
      @JohnsonTheSecond 4 роки тому +2

      1,100th like

    • @niconilo97
      @niconilo97 4 роки тому +1

      @@submarineinthesky8946 hahahaha

    • @itsme924
      @itsme924 3 роки тому +7

      They rolled with disadvantage and just kept hitting double 20s

  • @juannunez5767
    @juannunez5767 4 роки тому +2588

    Poland's military plays everything on hard mode.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +504

      Current objective: survive.

    • @rosehites3419
      @rosehites3419 4 роки тому +57

      No the enemy always is

    • @area609joe2
      @area609joe2 4 роки тому +117

      Except the winged Winged hussars, they play legendary.

    • @Sidedlist
      @Sidedlist 4 роки тому +5

      I know

    • @agellidmalik
      @agellidmalik 4 роки тому +8

      Huh, so ur saying the Polish army had it easy? Since i guess other nations played on _realistic_ 😜

  • @maticom5643
    @maticom5643 4 роки тому +1499

    "The British left behind 65 dead, 70 wounded, 200 men, 300 rifles, 5 canons..." You forgot that they left behind their dignity.

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 роки тому +115

      You can't lose something that you don't have./They didn't have it to begin with.

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 роки тому +31

      @@elmascapo6588 because napoleon wanted to won against Russia and lost most of the army because of attrition qnd the vassal/puppet country recolted because of his lose. They would have losed the Waterloo too if not for the German/New Prussians

    • @theanglo-lithuanian1768
      @theanglo-lithuanian1768 4 роки тому +26

      @@alexandrub8786 Acually the Peninsula war was won before Napoleons invasion of Russia failed.
      That and the battle of Waterloo was actually going quite well for the British even before the Prussians showed up. But they were the final nail in the coffin to end the battle.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +85

      Savage

    • @makky6239
      @makky6239 4 роки тому +3

      @@theanglo-lithuanian1768 Quit well? They were almost loosing in Waterloo

  • @MasterFief
    @MasterFief 4 роки тому +2472

    The Poles were outnumbered 12 to 1.
    The Poles: “Then it is an even fight”

    • @adamlatosinski5475
      @adamlatosinski5475 4 роки тому +67

      They just took their enemies's guns. Not that they needed them, they weren't even trained how to use them.

    • @Elitist20
      @Elitist20 4 роки тому +38

      Blayney's sabre is now on display at the Czartoryski Museum in Kraków.

    • @MrBassmann15
      @MrBassmann15 4 роки тому +20

      All canons fire at will. Burn their mongrel hides.

    • @a.h.s.3006
      @a.h.s.3006 4 роки тому +31

      well it wasn't balanced.......
      For the British

    • @potatoeboy8757
      @potatoeboy8757 4 роки тому +1

      Caden Kruger unles it’s ww2

  • @trollking1176
    @trollking1176 4 роки тому +1532

    Poland is the literal definition of we have won the battle but not the war

    • @trollking1176
      @trollking1176 4 роки тому +22

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki I get what your saying and do agree with you about poland being a great empire but that was achieved with the help of lithuania. But during the end of the commonwealth they got totally stomped on by other kingdoms and continued that trend for the rest of they're history and I'm not hating on them I'm just saying that when a country fought poland and out numbered them in a battle that country had a pretty good chance at Losing or at least the pols would make the battle take way longer than it should have but the country would still win the war
      Ex: germany v poland ww2

    • @komradekile
      @komradekile 4 роки тому +2

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki lol, pilsudski defeat bolshevik

    • @komradekile
      @komradekile 4 роки тому +3

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki its lol because i find it funny that the red army failed so miserebly. I hope you realize im agreeing with u

    • @komradekile
      @komradekile 4 роки тому +1

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki lol!

    • @funtimefredboi3877
      @funtimefredboi3877 4 роки тому +1

      @Jonathan Williams every time you mean the one time when The ottomans attacked Austria trying to get Vienna Vienna being part of Austria that's a part of the Holy Alliance and if you know who also was part of this alliance
      Poland Lithuania thus
      It hade to fight
      that the polish came at the end of an Long siege should also be considered in telling how hard there fight was bdw Austria isint German as they say so fuck you Germany never betrayed Poland

  • @wannabehistorian371
    @wannabehistorian371 4 роки тому +1073

    The Poles have got to be some of the luckiest unluckiest people ever.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +107

      True dat

    • @James-sk4db
      @James-sk4db 4 роки тому +11

      Making up for all the unluckiness they get with neighbours.

    • @wannabehistorian371
      @wannabehistorian371 4 роки тому +2

      History House Productions I’m late to this, but YOU NOTICED ME AAAAAA-

    • @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489
      @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 4 роки тому +4

      The Irish are probably amongst the top ones as well

    • @michamalina5530
      @michamalina5530 4 роки тому +2

      @Somarik Green soo you do portray this situation as Stalin did. Where did you find this narration of betrayed neighbour? It ignores the fact why czechoslovakia got Zaolzie in first place

  • @thebartoszek3625
    @thebartoszek3625 4 роки тому +250

    - commander they outnumber us 12 to 1.
    - Dammit , its gonna take forever to burry the bodies

  • @vincivice.checkmybeats.1758
    @vincivice.checkmybeats.1758 4 роки тому +1521

    Ok, now I know how the Arabs conquered Iberia. They simply attacked only on Sundays

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +295

      Pro gamer move

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 роки тому +230

      And the spanish retake it by attacking only fridays.

    • @prometheus7387
      @prometheus7387 4 роки тому +39

      Omg now I know what to do if I want to take over Iberia. Thanks for the tips!

    • @philip8498
      @philip8498 4 роки тому +67

      In a Asterix cartoon this is used as a joke. When Caesar wants to conquer Britannia he only fights them on the weekend because the british refuse to fight on the weekend. This is literally a cartoon joke come to life

    • @elviajerodelahistoria
      @elviajerodelahistoria 4 роки тому +13

      Soy español y te digo que nosotros hacemos todo todos los días, más incluso si es para defender nuestra tierra. Los árabes entraron porque hubo una guerra civil visigoda y los contrincantes a Rodrigo les dejaron entrar.

  • @teneas7443
    @teneas7443 4 роки тому +114

    There is one battle where Poles were outnumbered 100:1. It was Battle of Hodów, where 100 winged hussars and 300 riders called "pancerni" (armoured) were facing 40000 troops of Crimean Khanate. And they won. Poles lost their horses (very expensive horses) and were fighting completely surrounded using only pistols. When they had no ammo, they were using broken arrows instead.

    • @prestonjones1653
      @prestonjones1653 3 роки тому +6

      How the hell did they win.

    • @eastonthehistoryguy2925
      @eastonthehistoryguy2925 2 роки тому +4

      I made a video about that! Most underrated battle in history!

    • @mareksicinski3726
      @mareksicinski3726 2 роки тому +1

      @@prestonjones1653 good discipline and armour ig, remember the attackers were comparatively worn down

    • @zerte4197
      @zerte4197 2 роки тому

      @@Whatareyoudoinnhere preety accurate

    • @imabitmid
      @imabitmid 4 місяці тому

      @@prestonjones1653the tartars gave up after losing 2,000 men

  • @PanTopor
    @PanTopor 4 роки тому +75

    There is an old Polish saying coined by the very successful 17th century Polish-Lithuanian commander Jan Karol Chodkiewicz : "First we beat the enemy, then we count him."

  • @VRichardsn
    @VRichardsn 4 роки тому +335

    You can still visit Krakow's history museum and admire Lord Blayney's sword, captured at Fuengirola. No, really, I am not making it up.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +54

      It’s pretty interesting

    • @VRichardsn
      @VRichardsn 4 роки тому +16

      @@HistoryHouseProductions Hey, thanks for the reply. Keep up the quality content coming; this channel has a lot of potential.

    • @gezzaschannel
      @gezzaschannel 4 роки тому +28

      its about time someone had something British in a museum, considering how much stuff the British have from everyone else on display.

    • @pawelszczurek863
      @pawelszczurek863 4 роки тому +2

      napoleon.org.pl/bszabla1a.jpg

    • @_d--
      @_d-- 4 роки тому +1

      Lord Blayney the lord of memes! Meme creator before It was cool... or even invented!!

  • @dr.puggles8176
    @dr.puggles8176 4 роки тому +200

    “They found some grapeshot in a closet”
    I can just imagine a pol leaning on an old door and it falling and him just going: oh...ohhhh....OHHH

    • @paulkornel7405
      @paulkornel7405 3 роки тому +3

      Throw in some "ohhh kurwa's" and that's pretty much it

  • @eleanorpathak5142
    @eleanorpathak5142 4 роки тому +499

    Polish General: Come and Take it!
    Texans: Write that down, Write that down!

    • @septimus64
      @septimus64 4 роки тому +10

      I think they also said Yeet Haw first

    • @AlexYorim
      @AlexYorim 4 роки тому +2

      [writes tic-tac-toe]

    • @roccosoldi8678
      @roccosoldi8678 4 роки тому +13

      @@septimus64 lol, pretty close, it's pronounced Yeah-bach (spelt 'jebać' in Polish), meaning F*** 'em up!

    • @johnfraire6931
      @johnfraire6931 4 роки тому +8

      "You can go to hell; and I'll still be in this fortress."
      ~Polish version of Davy Crockett, probably.

    • @salsaniggas8544
      @salsaniggas8544 4 роки тому

      *Proceeds to kill David Crockett*

  • @msb7289
    @msb7289 4 роки тому +1086

    Greetings from Poland. You know what, considering polish history this battle's odds were pretty good lol

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +124

      That’s what I’m saying

    • @msb7289
      @msb7289 4 роки тому +23

      @@HistoryHouseProductions There were many worst. Too many lol

    • @gamefan1019
      @gamefan1019 4 роки тому +4

      I’m also from Poland hi

    • @wonderchiken9883
      @wonderchiken9883 4 роки тому

      U lot hate Muslims. Pretty bad tbh

    • @aegeanharrier6648
      @aegeanharrier6648 4 роки тому +7

      @@wonderchiken9883 Maybe its because most muslims act like its still 600s? As much as love possible from Western Turkey

  • @Kjajo
    @Kjajo 4 роки тому +730

    The 4 polish tactics to win every battle:
    1. God or any catholic figure. Like 40% of all Polish victories are dedicated to a religious being.
    2. Lithuanian light cavarly. Seriously, one of the reasons for a major victory at the battle of Grunwald.
    3. Be outnumbered, aka a tactic used on all periods of Polish history.
    4. Horses with wings. Literally won us a 1 to a 100 ratio battle. (Battle of Hodów)

    • @vattghern257
      @vattghern257 4 роки тому +30

      It's a Hodów not Chodów !
      I mean h and ch are basically pronounced the same but (ch is pronounced longer than h)

    • @Kjajo
      @Kjajo 4 роки тому +23

      @@vattghern257 i know, im polish. But that was a Simple mistake.

    • @kingsarues1586
      @kingsarues1586 4 роки тому +13

      Wasn't the 3rd battle for Poland won because some Hungarian nobles got pissed at the mongols so they just made there own armies and marched into Poland to kill mongols.

    • @Kjajo
      @Kjajo 4 роки тому +9

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki I know, but i just added the lithuanian light cavarly as they were part of the commonwealth and our allies. Without the poles, lithunians would have lost. without lithuanians poles would have lost.

    • @Kjajo
      @Kjajo 4 роки тому +1

      @@kingsarues1586 Boy, this list doesnt even deserve polish hungarian friendship, as it wasnt a tactic. it was somethiong much bigger and much more often than the other on the list.

  • @edgelord8337
    @edgelord8337 4 роки тому +729

    Spanish soldiers: *why did you give us beef don't you know this is against god?!?!*
    Britain: *isn't killing fellow Christians against god*
    Spanish soldiers: *nah fam don't worry this is fine*

    • @nnvist
      @nnvist 4 роки тому +15

      *God

    • @opperturk124
      @opperturk124 4 роки тому +6

      I think the polish were protestant so they good

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +157

      The Polish were hella Catholic too

    • @opperturk124
      @opperturk124 4 роки тому +1

      @@HistoryHouseProductions o

    • @opperturk124
      @opperturk124 4 роки тому +3

      @@HistoryHouseProductions hhp i was wondering since you make a lot of video's about poland, do you have polish herritage or something?

  • @manghariz2211
    @manghariz2211 4 роки тому +145

    This whole scenario is literally like plot driven.
    It just seems the poles have themselves some great ass quality plot armour.

  • @yungstallion2201
    @yungstallion2201 4 роки тому +334

    Britain: Let’s get our ships ready
    Spain: I forgot
    Britain: Let’s eat so we’re energised
    Spain: I can’t
    Britain: Let’s get some guerrilla fighters
    Spain: I have 12
    Britain: let’s attack on Sunday
    Spain: The pope said no
    Poland: OH YEAH ITS SHOWTIME

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +29

      Lol

    • @DJREPLAY32
      @DJREPLAY32 4 роки тому +4

      Tell this joke to Edward Vernon I guess he would laugh too, wouldn't he?

    • @raz_hz
      @raz_hz 4 роки тому

      It's all Spain's fault.

    • @r32guy85
      @r32guy85 4 роки тому +5

      @@raz_hz yeah not at all the british, yeah it's not like they had to relay on their own allies and also say wrong facts about spanish people.

    • @condedooku9750
      @condedooku9750 3 роки тому +1

      @@DJREPLAY32
      Blas de Lezo has found your comment to be very true.

  • @tgs9034
    @tgs9034 4 роки тому +91

    "Leave it to the Poles. Nothing is impossible for them. " - Napoleon Bonaparte
    epic memes

    • @redpolscorp
      @redpolscorp Рік тому +5

      In france they say "Drunk as a polish"...
      Because apparently they took an impossible to capture mountain fort while they were drunk.
      Wodka, wine and dwòjniak make a hell of a potion I guess.

    • @Krokmaniak
      @Krokmaniak Рік тому +6

      @@redpolscorp Version I heard was that after one battle (I don't remember which one) all Napoleon's soldiers were celebrating and when Russians counterattack only Poles were able to fight and drove them off despite being as drunk as rest of the army.

    • @redpolscorp
      @redpolscorp Рік тому +4

      @@Krokmaniak maybe both are true? Or both are false and it is largely a reason to give a stereotype a somewhat positive twist.

    • @Krokmaniak
      @Krokmaniak Рік тому +3

      @@redpolscorp I did some quick searching and apparently there are three situations that are supposed to be genesis for this. First one was battle of Somosierra when polish light cavalry charged 4 fortified artillery batteries and one general was supposed to say "Only someone drunk would give such an order and only someone drunk would fulfill it".
      Other two are basically Napoleon saying something like"I wish all my soldiers were drunk like Poles"
      One was just random inspection after some celebrating in Spain and only polish solders could stand straight and other is what I described earlier and it was battle of Frydland

  • @woz1937
    @woz1937 3 роки тому +35

    4:15 Franciszek Mlokosiewicz was already a quite experienced officer. 41 years old at Fuengirola Mlokosiewicz has already serve as an officer in Polish-Russian War of 1792 than he is taking part in Kosciuszko Uprising in 1794. In 1806 he is joining the army of Dutchy of Warsaw and fighting in War of Fourth Coalition after which he received the War Order of Virtuti Militari which is Poland's highest military decoration for heroism and courage.
    Then comes Battle of Fuengirola in 1810 but Mlokosiewicz is with his troops in Spain since 1808. So not very much beginners luck in defending the Fuengirola castle :) Then he is taking part in Napoleons Grande Armee invasion of Russia in 1812 and in a Battle of Nations at Leipzig a year later. Almost 20 years later when he is 61 he's taking up his sword and joining November Uprising in 1830 and after leading sudden attack on rear of the Russian army flank Mlokosieicz is promoted to general. And the creme de la creme for an old man. In 1842 just few years before his death Mlokosiwicz is granted with nobility and with a coat of arms. And now the best part - his coat of arms is called Fuengirola with a golden lion holding a sword standing in a gate of a castle :) Below Franciszek Mlokosiewicz tombstone in Warsaw cemetery upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/78/Franciszek_Mlokosiewicz_grave.jpg
    P.S. All the best in 2021 ! ! !

  • @Keranite
    @Keranite 4 роки тому +329

    There are no happy endings in polish history, never have been

    • @janherburodo8070
      @janherburodo8070 4 роки тому +32

      Yeah, we defended our independence from the Soviet army after 123 of foreign rule, for 20 years... to be invaded by III Reich and USSR... Yeah, the Soviets are now our allies and the coming to Poland to fight the Germans... and take our independence for another 50 years...

    • @Keranite
      @Keranite 4 роки тому +9

      @@janherburodo8070 I'm polish as well, lul

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 роки тому +11

      I mean Poland is independent...for now.

    • @adamlatosinski5475
      @adamlatosinski5475 4 роки тому +8

      Władysław Łokietek (Ladislaus the Elbow-High) reunification of Poland in XIV century? It wasn't a complete success (ihe didn't manage to unite Silesia with the rest of the Poland, nor defeat the Teutonic Knights), but as the end of feudal fragmentation, it is a kind of happy ending, isn't it?

    • @Keranite
      @Keranite 4 роки тому +6

      @@adamlatosinski5475 Which that lead to us not regaining silesia for over 500 years and ended up being the reason why we didn't expand north to be more prosperous and so got fucked by russia

  • @garydagg9112
    @garydagg9112 4 роки тому +138

    Greetings from England, That dig about our food was timed perfectly as I was eating my fish n chips

  • @ArcticWolve98
    @ArcticWolve98 4 роки тому +73

    Plot twist : Blaney knew those were poles and since he lost his save state to fix his mistakes he just walked over to quit the game

  • @kube410
    @kube410 3 місяці тому +3

    Some additional info about Franciszek Młokosiewicz. He was not of noble origin and was the only private who menaged to climb the rank of general in 19th century Poland.
    In his youth he took part in the last war Poland fought against Russia before being partitioned as well as in the Kościuszko Uprising.
    He then served as a colonel in 4th line regiment of the Duchy of Warsaw for a few years before getting moved to fuengirola so he was quite an experienced fighter and commander by this time. He took part in napoleons Russian campaign and was heavily wounded at Lipsk.
    During the november uprising of 1831 he came back from his retirement to command the insurgents as a colonel at the crazy age of 61 years old and after an successful flanking manouvre that won a battle was promoted to brigadier general. After insurgents lost he was forced to swear loyalty plea to Tsar Nicolas I. In 1845 Tsar nobilitated him by giving him a family name and coat of arms "Fuengirola". He died a year later

  • @goatscream8345
    @goatscream8345 4 роки тому +69

    "And the portuguese are there for some reason" Is Portuguese history in a nutshell

    • @imabitmid
      @imabitmid 4 місяці тому

      Ah yes, aljubarrota with 30,000 Castilians against a few hundred Englishmen… oh and 6,000 allied Portuguese I guess

  • @aqpatt4675
    @aqpatt4675 4 роки тому +50

    I'm from Fuengirola and never expected the castle I see pretty much every day had such a crazy story xD Also the fact of people from different places of Europe fighting stupidly fits perfectly with the ambiance during summer so it's nice to see that some traditions have not been lost xD

  • @LonkPlays
    @LonkPlays 4 роки тому +24

    From someone of Fuengirola, thank you for telling this wonderful story.

  • @nicolasgodines1129
    @nicolasgodines1129 4 роки тому +114

    Polish Military in every war they fight basically: *I DIDN'T HEAR NO BELL*

  • @SpanishDio
    @SpanishDio 4 роки тому +48

    Just imagine being a Polish soldier, fighting for France in Southern Spain, damn the Napoleonic wars were wild.

    • @mareksicinski3726
      @mareksicinski3726 2 роки тому +4

      it was not that wild for them, polish soldiers fought in wars all across the world hey had been in italy under napoleon first
      also this was napoleonic subjection b ut specifically poles fought in the american revolution, hungarian revolution, carlist wars, some in the risorgimento (republic of rome spec), american civil war, paris commune, mexican revolution

    • @adiosa1388
      @adiosa1388 Рік тому +1

      Imagine being sent to haiti to fight rebels tgen u join them look it up

  • @thegeneraljohn2895
    @thegeneraljohn2895 4 роки тому +184

    Britain's Forces: *Outnumber Poland 12:1*
    Poland's Forces: "You Gotta Bump Those Numbers Up, Those Are Rookie Numbers."

    • @galang.satria
      @galang.satria 4 роки тому +8

      Germany forces:Ok,40:1 it is

    • @thegeneraljohn2895
      @thegeneraljohn2895 4 роки тому +9

      @@galang.satria Polish Soldiers: *Ah, yes, a fair fight it is!*

    • @roccosoldi8678
      @roccosoldi8678 4 роки тому +4

      commence chest beating: hmmmm-hmmmmm-hmmmmm.... tootski?

    • @jozefkozon4520
      @jozefkozon4520 2 роки тому +2

      @@thegeneraljohn2895 Naw, that was almost a drow, G-man.

  • @lordsiergiej9685
    @lordsiergiej9685 4 роки тому +47

    There's something that Napoleon said once (it's a polish myth)
    "If you think it's impossible, leave it to poles"

  • @ramicane1671
    @ramicane1671 4 роки тому +75

    Mlokoslewicz to Blaney:
    Peace was never an option

  • @NIKO-cf5es
    @NIKO-cf5es 4 роки тому +44

    Im from Poland and i love when History House Productions made video's about Poland or Poles. Keep it up proud of you.

  • @thibaudduhamel2581
    @thibaudduhamel2581 4 роки тому +44

    Another act of sheer "polishness" during the napoleonic wars was the charge of the French Imperial guard polish lancer regiment at Somossiera, where 150 polish horsemen routed an entire corps of spanish troops.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +7

      Savage

    • @thibaudduhamel2581
      @thibaudduhamel2581 4 роки тому +10

      @@HistoryHouseProductions Napoleon himself said that this was the best cavalry charge he ever saw.

    • @alejandrop.s.3942
      @alejandrop.s.3942 4 роки тому +3

      Winged Hussars tradition.

    • @caspramio
      @caspramio 4 роки тому +1

      I wonder which were more shocking for the spanish, thay charge or the one by the llaneros in Queseras del medio

    • @Krokmaniak
      @Krokmaniak 4 роки тому +3

      @@alejandrop.s.3942 This was actually Ułan tradition. These cavaliers were ex Ułans. For those interested: Ułans were light cavalry used by Poles between XVI century and WW2.

  • @micheasz2552
    @micheasz2552 4 роки тому +92

    There is a polish proverb ,,Niedzielna praca w gówno sie obraca" what literally means ,,Sunday work turns into shit"

  • @achyuthansanal
    @achyuthansanal 4 роки тому +86

    When Jack Rackam, Kings and Generals and History House Productions upload on the same day...... you know it’s a good day

  • @WR288
    @WR288 4 роки тому +321

    "Good Catholics don't fight on Sundays." How did these people conquer most of the New World?

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +91

      The world may never know

    • @barbadianaviation
      @barbadianaviation 4 роки тому +2

      @Aleksa Petrovic um

    • @alexandrub8786
      @alexandrub8786 4 роки тому +21

      By using pre-existing feuds between native. funny enough i think the EU IV Dharma (edit: trailer)is the best explanation.

    • @edugarcia001
      @edugarcia001 4 роки тому +29

      Not a widespread habit, just an extremely conservative commander (which wasn't the norm, not until the Carlist wars)

    • @MrLuchenkov
      @MrLuchenkov 4 роки тому +39

      By using the six other days of the week to their fullest.

  • @anonymous4chantroll
    @anonymous4chantroll Рік тому +5

    I just wanted to say this is by far my favorite historical video. I watch a ton of them on YT but this one always has me coming back for a good laugh, even 2 years later. Great work HHP

  • @filip5052
    @filip5052 4 роки тому +86

    If they didn't eat that meat they would've won

  • @JenniferinIllinois
    @JenniferinIllinois 4 роки тому +67

    British army: we outnumber the enemy 12 to 1
    Polosh army: I like those odds

    • @ivlivscaesar5898
      @ivlivscaesar5898 4 роки тому +1

      @Polish Hero Witold Pilecki Aren't there *six* battles considered "Polish Thermopylaes?"

    • @jozefkozon4520
      @jozefkozon4520 2 роки тому

      @@ivlivscaesar5898 ​ @History House Productions Vid Idea?

  • @Mszaanisko
    @Mszaanisko 2 роки тому +7

    I'm a Pole and I didn't hear about this battle - great work, thanks!

  • @Kondotier
    @Kondotier 4 роки тому +11

    Few additions and small corrections to this great video ;)
    1. One Polish soldier was actually a former artilleryman in Russian army, so he knew a little about cannons ;)
    2. Poles fought with British few more times during Peninsula War. Battle of Albuera with Polish Vistula Lancers breaking 3 British infantry regiments in charge and capturing 5 out of 6 flags the Brits were carrying is probably the most famous;)
    3. One of the first cannonballs hit the well in the castle, so Poles lost their water supply. That's what forced them to charge out from the castle and seek victory in open field, with bayonet.
    4. When lord Blayney was captured, he asked for something to drink. The only thing that Poles had at the moment was vodka. Blyney shuddered, but Młokosiewicz told him that there are only two nations famous from their fighting prowess as well as drinking capabilities: Poles and Britons, so he have to drink what he gets ;)
    5. Blayney's sword is stored to this day in Czartoryski's museum in Cracow.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +4

      Where'd you find all this info? Pretty interesting stuff. In regards to the British and Poles not fighting again, I meant that they never fought again after the Napoleonic Wars. I could've been more clear on that.

    • @Kondotier
      @Kondotier 4 роки тому +3

      @@HistoryHouseProductions Polish sources, including: Krzysztof Mazowski' "Fuengirola 1810"-pretty good monograph about that battle; Marian Kukiel "Wojny Napoleońskie" and few others. I studied history and napoleonic wars were my main interest, especially military history of Duchy of Warsaw ;)

    • @TheDiackon
      @TheDiackon Рік тому +1

      @@Kondotier dzięki za podpowiedź ze źródłami :)

  • @yodef6828
    @yodef6828 4 роки тому +32

    Foreigners learning about this battle: "At least our men were brave"
    Spaniards: "Not fighting in Sundays, proud of our men"
    British: "Hehe..."

  • @svenskgeneral4973
    @svenskgeneral4973 4 роки тому +6

    The fact that Poland gets bigger every time it gets invaded is terrifying

  • @Vei_
    @Vei_ 4 роки тому +12

    Imagine the feeling when your fleet is scared away by Poles with four cannons and no cannonier experience

  • @simongrundyreiner
    @simongrundyreiner 4 роки тому +17

    You know, I’ve been to Fuengirola, spent a fair amount of time there. Even been to the castle. It is next to impossible to find anything about this battle so it is clear that everybody involved was thoroughly ashamed of this battle

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +5

      Yeah, some other people have said that it isn't super talked about in the local history.

    • @ChillDudelD
      @ChillDudelD 3 роки тому +1

      @@HistoryHouseProductions This is the case, or was more before, with Poland's history in general outside its borders.

  • @luca_history
    @luca_history 4 роки тому +51

    This is the weirdest comment section I've ever seen

  • @AnotherDoomerWeeb
    @AnotherDoomerWeeb 4 роки тому +116

    England: Poland pls surrender I just want to kill the French
    Poland: Nah
    England: Right then. Spain! Lets take back your country.
    Spain: No fight untill good food
    England: ...What?
    Spain: No fight on sunday
    England:... WHAT?
    *Angry Polish noises*
    *Confused English screaming*

    • @snakes3425
      @snakes3425 4 роки тому +15

      Afterword
      England: This battle never happened

    • @Thurnmourer
      @Thurnmourer 4 роки тому +1

      It's not England. It's the UK or Great Britain if you want to be more loose.

  • @comradetonk8280
    @comradetonk8280 4 роки тому +15

    "Expecting the outnumbered poles to surrender without a fight"
    He forgot he wasn't fighting french troops.

  • @Britishperson131
    @Britishperson131 4 роки тому +7

    Im a history buff and have even visited the very places mentioned here numerous times. There wasnt a single scrap of info regarding this battle. Thanks so much for this! It was fascinating to hear all about it. FYI the main castle is still there. Though we colloquially call the city "Fungus" as it is nothing more than god forsaken tourist hell hole. But Mijas is still a lovely town located high in the hills.

    • @HistoryHouseProductions
      @HistoryHouseProductions  4 роки тому +3

      The castle is a little bit outside the town, so maybe there’s more info there? I think they did a re-enactment there a few years ago.

    • @Britishperson131
      @Britishperson131 4 роки тому +1

      @@HistoryHouseProductions it might have been back in the day but its practically a sea fort. And is surrounded by new buildings. In regard to info the whole occupation by the french is not well publicised as its still today an embarrassment. Then of course the British reenactors turn up lol.

  • @Vajperrr
    @Vajperrr 4 роки тому +7

    Thank you HHP, thanks to you Poland is becomming a meme (bias) in a positive way, so everyone finally knows that Poland’s history is awesome

  • @yesssyeppp3852
    @yesssyeppp3852 4 роки тому +16

    I’m British and I can say i understand why we were allies with Poland post nopoleonic era🇬🇧🇵🇱

  • @shroder2748
    @shroder2748 4 роки тому +42

    *Imagine getting killed by a volley of grapes. ~ This post was made by History Productions Gang*

  • @tomaszzalewski4541
    @tomaszzalewski4541 4 роки тому +26

    "One minute to eat their food and 59 minutes to cry about having to eat British food" - to be honest British food did tasted kinda weird when I tried it :)

  • @thegreatestbaldeagle2999
    @thegreatestbaldeagle2999 4 роки тому +13

    The Poles selected “Hard” when choosing their starting location

  • @crusaderanimation6967
    @crusaderanimation6967 4 роки тому +9

    American army:Call of duty
    France army:Teample tun
    Polish army:Dark souls

    • @alekjanowski9847
      @alekjanowski9847 3 роки тому +1

      @Gamble Shanks Literal blood for the blood god, but in Catholic edition in meele XD

  • @diarradunlap9337
    @diarradunlap9337 4 роки тому +18

    "Battles in which outnumbered Poles fight harder than they're supposed to: 100%!"
    😏😆😁😆

  • @aa-up4sf
    @aa-up4sf 2 роки тому +9

    Polish are awesome. Outnumbered grossly by the British and they destroyed them. One of the few times Polish forces fight against Great Britain. No wonder Napoleon loved his Polish troops so much.

  • @Crick1952
    @Crick1952 4 роки тому +31

    Virgin Blaney vs Chad Mlokosiewicz

  • @l.u.i.s._.8452
    @l.u.i.s._.8452 4 роки тому +18

    Britain: ok Spain we gonna attack at noon
    Spain: of course
    Later at noon
    Britain: let’s go Spain it’s noon
    Spain: *siesta*

  • @elevenwarrior5169
    @elevenwarrior5169 4 роки тому +15

    As a spaniard i can confirm we just wanted an excuse to not fight alongside the brits

  • @bedouinknight9437
    @bedouinknight9437 4 роки тому +28

    The Poles are so brave, they never surrender

  • @acrispywaffleiron4014
    @acrispywaffleiron4014 4 роки тому +5

    This explains why Britain kinda didn't do literally anything to help Poland during WWII

    • @hmm3032
      @hmm3032 3 роки тому +1

      Britain didn't do much in WW2 until the end

  • @gandhithegreat328
    @gandhithegreat328 4 роки тому +4

    Despite this setback, Blayney would later become a Member of Parliament after he was set free

  • @wiizzpl4718
    @wiizzpl4718 4 роки тому +15

    Poland: sucky neighbours, sucky allies, likes arguing, makes pierogi.
    Special unit: Winged Hussars, Wojtek the bear.
    Special ability: Jeszcze Polska nie zgineła - when fighting for independence every unit gets a modification: x40 attack x40 defence x40 luck.

  • @vattghern257
    @vattghern257 4 роки тому +9

    Hahaha ! I've know about this battle before
    but than and again, great video :D
    Grettings from Poland to all people who wish to live in freedom !!!

  • @sreckocuvalo8110
    @sreckocuvalo8110 4 роки тому +30

    I swear an actual polish history is like other nation's propaganda.

  • @jorgeigualbonilla9998
    @jorgeigualbonilla9998 4 роки тому +10

    As a spanish I can say this was a humiliating experience, but I can't say it was unexpected/unprecedented sadly

  • @Jorge-df1sk
    @Jorge-df1sk 4 роки тому +3

    A spanish here
    Just gonna say good video man

  • @rageraptor7127
    @rageraptor7127 4 роки тому +30

    I can only imagine what would happen if an invasion of Spain was planned on a Sunday lol 😂

    • @metralla
      @metralla 4 роки тому +4

      You can't invade Spain on Sunday; it's close

    • @artur6912
      @artur6912 3 роки тому

      Good Catholics don't invade on Sunday bro.

  • @JuanJose-fw2uq
    @JuanJose-fw2uq 4 роки тому +8

    There are nothing impossible to my poles
    -Napoleon Bonaparte

  • @Ash-oj3ur
    @Ash-oj3ur 4 роки тому +60

    So if Poles r fighting in different countries they become like gods then

    • @nieznajomy7
      @nieznajomy7 4 роки тому +4

      "in any countries"

    • @Pietroszz
      @Pietroszz 4 роки тому +11

      They can also do the same in their country:
      -polish bolshevik war
      -polish Austrian war during napoleon

    • @gregshields5262
      @gregshields5262 4 роки тому +8

      They fight even harder in their own country

    • @cageybee7221
      @cageybee7221 4 роки тому +7

      poles defending other countries: instant success
      poles defending poland: i guess i die now

    • @alekjanowski9847
      @alekjanowski9847 3 роки тому +1

      @@cageybee7221 Check the enemies depending on the regions - on one side Brave but quite unexperienced armies of Spain and Italy + Confused British and German mercenaries - on the other side OP Prussian drilled army, MASSIVE Russian Tsardom hordes (Literally waves of soldiers) and the Austrians ALL AT THE SAME TIME, so I'd give us a pass XD

  • @scottshaw3337
    @scottshaw3337 4 роки тому +17

    Ah yes, the Brits sending foreign troops charging to their certain death. I see nothing's changed

  • @the_new_napoleon7038
    @the_new_napoleon7038 4 роки тому +10

    Polish soldiers : How do we use the cannons.
    Polish soldiers proceed to destroy one ship and damage the second.

  • @jannovak9605
    @jannovak9605 4 роки тому +9

    Great video, luv your sense of humor. Have you ever heard about the story Maurycy Beniowski? He's a guy born in Hungary arrested by the Russians for taking part in the Noble uprising in Poland, he got sent to Siberia, staged a rebellion there, sole a ship, sailed to China, then he helped the French to conquer Madagascar, the rebelled against the French after being crowned the king by the locals. Cool story, maybe cool enough for a episode

  • @tazynfire9373
    @tazynfire9373 4 роки тому +59

    The creator is always first

  • @ertramontana
    @ertramontana 4 роки тому +3

    This has been amazing! Subbed

  • @luigidisanpietro3720
    @luigidisanpietro3720 4 роки тому +15

    Plot twist: The Poles were also Catholic.

  • @joeyj6808
    @joeyj6808 Рік тому +6

    More outrageously brave and amazing Polish military shenanigans! Love it!

  • @pablobastidaalbaladejo751
    @pablobastidaalbaladejo751 4 роки тому +13

    Feels good to be Spanish, proud of my people

  • @pacthug4life
    @pacthug4life 4 роки тому +5

    You're slowly becoming my favorite history youtuber

  • @luanfonseca5179
    @luanfonseca5179 4 роки тому +34

    british:why the spanish arent fighting?
    spanish:"enjoing friday

  • @DjangoUnSkilled
    @DjangoUnSkilled 4 роки тому +4

    Love your videos!

  • @juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370
    @juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370 2 роки тому +3

    Enemies: millions of conscripts or trained soldiers with a lot of resources.
    Poles: just you against me, come on!

  • @MrMighty147
    @MrMighty147 4 роки тому +6

    Dude these videos are getting better and better. You're gonna go far.

  • @dd-579fletcherwillyd.9
    @dd-579fletcherwillyd.9 4 роки тому +16

    Ok good sir, THIS (battle) is honestly an entire meme on itself. Damn.

  • @Artur_M.
    @Artur_M. 4 роки тому +13

    Oh, the battle of Fuengirola! This is going to be good!
    Wait... Didn't I suggest this battle one time?

  • @redluke8119
    @redluke8119 4 роки тому +2

    I love your channel and narration so much

  • @RM97800
    @RM97800 4 роки тому +39

    Maybe polish history hasn't got any happy endings, but for god sake WE TOOK MOSCOW in 1610
    You don't see that thing in French or German history books
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish%E2%80%93Muscovite_War_(1605%E2%80%931618)

    • @x-a-
      @x-a- 4 роки тому +8

      The French also took Moscow....

    • @belgebelgravia100
      @belgebelgravia100 4 роки тому +1

      You mostly don't hear about it, because during most of the war, Russia was in a state of civil war, where the Polish aristocracy supported opposing sides to screw over Russia, or the famine that killed a third of the population, 2 years before, Poland invaded. Or the fact that eventually 2 years after the Polish took Moscow, the Russians, still in their dynastic civil war, managed to take back Moscow, despite the defending Polish army being 50% larger than the attacking Russians.
      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_of_Troubles
      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_famine_of_1601-03
      en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Moscow_(1612)

    • @RM97800
      @RM97800 4 роки тому

      @@belgebelgravia100 Yes.

    • @jaybadayatherockmerchant9832
      @jaybadayatherockmerchant9832 4 роки тому

      @@____union____5319 but the reason why the French couldn't take it by force is literally because they kept crusing the Russians and the Russians saw it best to fight a war of nutrition then a direct engagement.

    • @gengis737
      @gengis737 4 роки тому

      @@____union____5319 French destroyed Russian army first, at Borodino, then took Moscow from retreating Russians. Burning was started on Russian governor's orders after the French entered the city.

  • @ramacandra4554
    @ramacandra4554 4 роки тому +22

    It was a disaster for the british...but the memes....oh, the memes.....

  • @theofficialsikris
    @theofficialsikris 4 роки тому +11

    British: Charge!
    Polish: "Hey I found these smaller cannon balls in a closet, lets jam some of these down the barrel and see what happens!"

  • @CptFugu
    @CptFugu 4 роки тому +3

    This was hilarious. And really informative.

  • @duckyboi2297
    @duckyboi2297 4 роки тому +5

    Oh he posted 2 minutes ago
    this made my day, thanks

  • @tomtomtrent
    @tomtomtrent 10 місяців тому +3

    I'm a Blaney. I wasn't sure if I was directly related, but a DNA test just confirmed I'm a really distant cousin of Lord Blaney. Great to know the only notable thing my family ever did was this failure! XD

  • @bilalyusuf6144
    @bilalyusuf6144 3 роки тому +8

    The poles spent all their luck on this one battle.

  • @TP-ik7nx
    @TP-ik7nx 4 роки тому +4

    I love this channel

  • @ezzeymusic8141
    @ezzeymusic8141 Рік тому +4

    Polish at the battle of Fuengirola: We were outnumbered 12:1
    Polish at the battle of Wizna: Pathetic (40:1)

  • @cheekibreeki2electricbooga582
    @cheekibreeki2electricbooga582 4 роки тому +8

    Any invading army- Ok, you have been surrounded for five weeks, give up!
    Poles- How bout no!

  • @aleksandarvil5718
    @aleksandarvil5718 4 роки тому +17

    Winged Hussars; Memes:
    *"You Underestimate Our Power"*

  • @prakashghumaliya2002
    @prakashghumaliya2002 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you for video sir