People in society are just teaching people how to be weak instead of empowering themselves. It’s ok to cry when you have had enough but what benefit does it have turning yourself into a crying mess all the time. You use the hard times as a driving force to become a better and stronger more resilient person. No man was shaped without hardships.
the problem is that man and women for the most part do not deal with problems the same way. but in the west we have told boys and girls that they should deal with issues like girls. as a matter of fact boys are discourage to be boys. now we are learning that in theory all them modern things sound good, but our fundamental programming of survival would not let go. things like, crying man is not attractive to women, or that women have a hard time paying for man.
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I agree 100%. Nobody likes a whiny complaining person. We all struggle in life at times, this is part of being human. However, our wives are our life companions, not reservoirs for our negative garbage. Be open, honest, share and confide in your wife, but do so with the intention of seeking solutions. Her opinion is valuable, she may see angles you haven't considered. Respect and be receptive to her perspective to help you find potential courses of action, then move forward with resolve. Women don't want a weak man, but they also don't want a disconnected emotionless robot. They intuitively "know" when things are weighing on our mind so it's not about hiding our struggles, it's about how we communicate them. The balance is somewhere in the middle, and this varies with relationships. IMHO
I can't ever trust a woman's opinions. Because their motives are almost always selfish. It's takes a very mature, self aware woman who holds herself accountable to a moral standard of relationship behavior to actually give solid advice. And 99.9% of women aren't that.
Guys you better maintain frame and hold your shit together. Your wives can't even handle their own emotions sometimes so don't try and dump yours on top too. Always remember your momma and your dog are the only ones who can love you unconditionally.
Sorry to say I used to think that way...aside from the mom because MANY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE... I AT 52,have been dragged through this hell. Always wanting love and to give it. Wasting it on narcissistic behaviors of today's world. Well I have it, unconditional its mutual we actually pray together for it. You must learn to give up yourself to the world, its lies, possession of you and in complete humility to one another. He dwells within and IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY REACH THE HIGHEST POINTS OF LOVE IN THE REALM. YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL IF YOU KNOW WHAT IT ALL IS. May you all find your match, twin flame, your true other half will make you whole/one. A bliss that you cannot explain, and a love that you cannot deny.....
What no most moms made all these pussy as men because they didn’t know how to love them. They also didn’t know how to raise them. I got this grown ass man as a husband who would sell his organs to buy his mom a nice purse this lady raised him to only work for Her happiness because her lazy husband dis mot give her any money. That os jot love and maybe this doesn’t apply yo everyone, but I know thats not unconditional love.
@@arwenrosalie3031 I'm trying to understand why it would be this lady's husband's responsibility to give his wife spending money. Not saying that all moms love unconditionally but mothers are the only ones capable of loving unconditionally. If your husband does things for his mother then good for him as long as she isn't a moocher.
@@chriscostlow4210 so for example my father in law would give her $100 just for her, then she would spend that in one outing which is normal, but then she would go out again with us and start filling up the cart and make my husband pay for all that usually clothes for her daughter in Mexico, her sisters, her neices. Why is it then my husbands responsibility to buy her that? If her own husband would give her spending money or not it was not my husbands responsibility not when she was 50 yrs old young enough to work and if she felt the urge to clothe her entire family on another country.
@@arwenrosalie3031 yeah sounds like she's a real moocher. I could understand getting her something for birthday or mother's day or something. Sounds like your hubby needs to put his foot down on that.
Me and my girl got pregnant I’m 17 never really had a good figure to show me what a husband should do and say so I’m trying too learn as much as I can show my son how to treat his old lady thank you man I appreciate you more than you could know
Good luck to you sir, always remember that it is you and her versus the issue, not versus each other. Treat them as you wish to be treated, and understand that your son will learn more from what you do rather than what you say. You both have got this!
Basically, when your wife complains either just sympathize with her ("Oh that's really tough"), or sympathize with her AND fix the problem (don't tell her how to fix it herself, wrong move). When you complain, have a plan to fix your problem to go along with it.
WRONG !!!! NEVER just fix it if she is complaining, as a matter of fact you are a fool if you do. Now, you can ask her if she wants it fixed and if she response with "yes please", only then you fix it. You then tell her that if she needs something she needs to ask for it and that complaining to you is not an "ask", from that point on just disregard any compline. If you do not retrain her on day one from bad habits that she probably picked up from her mother, and encourage her to complain when she needs or wants something . . . you will only end up with a nagging wife. She needs to learn how to ask for things like an adult, and not by manipulation.
Women create their own problems and then they either 1) get mad at the man for not solving the problems they create, or 2) they don't want the man to fix their problems because the man will do it in a way that doesn't align with their very specific, ever changing, and arbitrary expectations, or 3) they think that the idea of the man helping them make their life better is "insulting" or "demeaning" or "mysoginist". If you're in a relationship with a woman, stop adopting the whole "this is just how women are" copout bullshit. Stupidity needs to be confronted and problems need to get solved. Facts are facts. And if she won't let you lead to fix things, and if she especially won't stop creating stupid problems for herself (and you), then she needs to be held accountable. 100% of the problems I've had in every relationship have all stemmed from the woman's reluctance to truly tell me what's going on and trust me to solve the problem, and then she expects me to "just know", and then judges me based on whether I can read her mind or not. And when I tell her this dynamic is toxic and unfair, she tells me the fact she has to communicate isn't fair. All these stupid expectations are what causes most issues between men and women. Women think they're entitled to their subjective emotional expectations, but men are not entitled to rational objective expectations. You cannot let a woman's childish mindset dominate the relationship. Whether you give her what she wants or not, she's gonna fight you either way, so you might as well take charge and force her to think like an adult. All relationships need to be led by the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It's never a good idea to sacrifice he truth and not fulfill your duty as the leader, just to placate to the woman's delicate psychology.
I would adjust that sometimes you can't have a plan to fix your problem UNTIL you complain. If having a plan is the criteria for being able to complain, then that can just incentivize suppressing complaints, which can inhibit fixing the problem. And sometimes the problem is so layered that there is no way to fix it and you have to just suck it up and deal with it; and complaining can be a healthy outlet to give one the strength to tolerate it. Just adding some nuance, is all
I'm a woman who never liked whiny people. When I hear myself starting to whine, I tell myself to cut it out. Now, I believe in prayer and getting wisdom from God. Praying for your spouse every day is an absolute strategy to strengthen him and our marriage. I need him to cover me in prayer too. Lead me, man and I will follow
Much appreciated. I agree, the “venting” and “vulnerability” topics compromise the leadership and create an undeserved/ unwanted scenario in the lives of our significant others.
This is both encouraging and real. Thank you. Edit: being vulnerable is good advice for women who are emotionally closed off, because that will allow them to get the help they need. The problem comes when (stupid) psychologists assume that men's emotional needs are the same as women's.
I like the word , transparent as a man . This is where I’m at , this is what I’m dealing with , no one else needs to know , just support me while I grow through it . 💪🏼
Solid advice for any man in a relationship and prerequisite for marriage. Listen with genuine curiosity so that your wife can express anything she feels. There is a lot of personal growth you need to do in order to have a golden ear for your wife to truly feel safe to share.
Powerful podcast this morning. I remember being that guy in my early twenties who wanted to voice his struggles and complain about how "hard" my life was to women because I wanted her validation and sympathy. Was essentially acting as her girlfriend like you said. Keep up the great content Ryan. Glad to see this channel is almost at 200k subs!
If your girl won't give you basic sympathy, she doesn't give a shit about you. Women are meant to be men's helpers, not the other way around. We protect and provide and we lead, and they help us and motivate us to do it by loving us.
You are incredible. I can hear the soundness in your reasoning. Someone who’s done some heart/hard felt soul searching. Thank you for continuing to share among so many unreceptive people looking for excuses to vent. Thank you.
I'm so glad I caught this video. It provides a mindset for interpersonal communication as a leader. showing vulnerabilities in order to address them, always starting or having a solution as part of the process, very very helpful.
Cannot understate the power of therapy enough, your partner, your boss, your mentor, your friends are not your therapist, you can talk about things you're going through and sure they can support you and give you token advice. But the real working through things and understanding the roots of your disfunction happen there, obviously this will provide massive returns if you do take ownership, stand up and want to go further than "I have a problem, I am un-willing to do anything about it but I will constantly complain about it"
Ryan Holidays book, “the obstacle is the way” got me through one of the hardest moments in my life. I would listen to it over and over on Audible for days. I recommend it. Hearing the quotes from stoic philosophers makes me feel strong and limitless. And it got me to realize that the secret to making a million is making better investment.
I started out with a financial advisor called *" Rochelle Dungca Schreiber ".* Her honest approach gives me complete ownership and control of my positions, and her rates are incredibly affordable given my ROI. However, do your due diligence before contacting a financial advisor.
I don’t like venting our chairing my problems or weakness with my friends because friends may become enemies and then they know your weaknesses and problems and they may tell others or use it against you.I talk to my dad or my brother because I know they won’t betray me.
Vulnerability helps your wife to connect with you on a deeper level. Also, science shows that relationships (of any sort) get stronger when the parties effectively handle the bad stuff together. There are certain hormones that will be released that help bonding.
Only if it's something she actually wants to help you with. Many women hate it when men open up about what they're struggling with because a sweeping majority of women don't care about the man. The want the man to be nothing but a stoic accessory to her happiness while giving nothing in return
Great advice, especially for men who didn't get the chance to learn it from their fathers or father figure when they were young. You're definitely doing a service to young men. Thanks.
As Lewis said “To love is to be vulnerable.” This is true. However there is an appropriate way to do that while still leading or at least not coming off as a complainer or a burden.
Vulnerability is needed because if you're going to bottle up your emotions and keep on putting on a facade to look powerful, you might overlook real issues you may be facing on the inside. No one is telling you to be vulnerable for the sake of it but being real about your emotions might help you get real insights.
when you are being vulnerable, you show a woman, that you can access your own emotions. This makes her feel safe. Because if you can access and manage your own emotions, she trusts that you can manage hers as well.
@@humble.pie. yes. I am an intimacy coach and I have experienced the shift in my husband, as he learned to allow to show his feelings and be vulnerable through men's groups and coaching.
I know this is an old podcast, but from someone who has been with the same woman for almost 36 years, I agree with you completely. I would rephrase the “vulnerability” comment by saying vulnerability means exposing your comments to someone who could use them to hurt you, but you trust them enough not to. However, if you have synergy with your wife as two people joined as one, then you cannot be vulnerable to her. She would not do you harm because she is your wife. Therefore, there’s nothing courageous about sharing things with your wife. She’s your wife. If she gossips or spreads what you say, she’s only technically your wife. A real wife sees harm to you as harm to herself. So it’s not possible to be vulnerable to a true wife. You are very correct that your wife does not need a whiner or sissy-man. Women are attracted to security. Which means a strong, confidant man. That should not be confused to mean your wife doesn’t want to see you upset emotionally if you lose a mother or father or something like that. That’s not vulnerability. That’s leaning on your other half so she can help lift you. But to be honest, that emotion needs to be quick, and strength returned as quick as possible. She needs to know you understand life and can recover stronger than before. But don’t cut her out in some of the most important tragedies in your life. Cutting her out at these times may cause harm to the trust relationship. It’s likely your wife will only see an emotional version of you once or twice in your entire marriage. So this must be a real tragedy, not that you lost a job, or someone at work hurt your feelings, or that some issue in the past has you upset to the point of crying over it. Deal with it… or as my grandfather would say, “be a man!”
This is extremely valuable. I always thought this way, even though I never had put it into those words myself. I'm not married yet, but hope to be one day with my miss, and this is extremely helpful. Thank you for the content and keep up doing the work of a man.
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In the exclusive phase I start with "let's look for a solution, rather than the problem itself". It engages both parties (especially myself) on a positive note, regarding a negative issue Re talking to wife,kids, employees etc I try think of the other party as someone I am in charge of me toeing, as opposed to someone I am in charge of.
Thanks for posting this video. I really appreciated what you said how speaking to your spouse with confidence and with a plan in mind. I’m inspired by how you come to your wife with the intent to get her perspective on your situation and you value her feminine perspective. I also appreciated the thought that of only being vulnerable for a purpose and not to just be vulnerable for the sake of being vulnerable.
I like how you said be vulnerable only for the sake of finding weaknesses and making sure to find solutions to the problem. You expose weakness in order to level up and be stronger. Brooke from Hillsong said Healthy vulnerability is done only in security. Only when people are safe and trust that there is HOPE will people share, otherwise a person risks seeing their problems more than the hope and solution.
I'm new around here, I love these. They make me want to be better every day. Now I'm thinking is there an Order of Woman podcast? I would love to get my wife turned on to this.
this info is generally good maybe for the married, and even for general relationships. "A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it." (Albert Einstein) stay single and unencumbered for the win.
I agree: 20 years marriage this may, and following those base rules of communication and manhood has created a positive environment in my home. Add patience, kindness, understanding, and structure to those normal masculine methods of planning and communication; it builds for improved children versus the neighbor's entitled brats.
I listened !!!! WORDS that good. I don't want a community OR town to raise our world. THE words that were spoken from you're thoughtful 💖 perfection with a reason is to search ourself weakness these is to make ourselves better and not EXPLOITED by other human beings AMEN.
My wife and I were just going through possibilities this the exact way you spoke of. Thank you your contact has definitely helped me in my growth as a man and as the leader of my family. Especially with my stepson who never had a stable father figure in his life. Thank you for helping me make him a better stronger young man.
As a women, i have to disagree. 14 years and we're going strong. I welcome Vulnerability, ESPECIALLY from the person i CHOSE to stick with through thick and thin.
This video is good for dealing with people in general doesn’t matter if they are your parent, friend or spouse no one wants to be around someone who’s always bitching complaining crying and being unnecessarily vulnerable for no reason other than for sympathy instead of looking for sympathy sort your problems out you won’t get any respect or sympathy from anyone if you cry about your struggles but do nothing to solve them people want to be around mentally strong, confident and positive people think if you are in a friend group who are you gonna want more in it the lad who is funny confident mentally strong and sorts his shit out when it needs to be sorted or the guy who’s always sad and crying about his struggles and how life isn’t fair and always asking for sympathy from everyone I don’t know about but I instantly know who I would want in the group out of the two
Thank you for that. I’ve married my husband with the intention to do great things, more than me or him, like having children, but it can’t happen if one side stuck in childhood. He can cry on my shoulder , as I can on his, but he must stand strong again to his role, so we can achieve greatness again. Any kind loving look is greatness, any appreciation jester is greatness because the world is lack in that. So every time we , as a couple, do that we are ushering others to that path. Be the change you want to see in the world❤
I’m new to these videos and I’ve decided to start climbing the mountain. This video makes complete sense to me, I was bitching to my wife so much every time I would talk to her she doesn’t really want to talk to me anymore. I became a Debbie Downer! I will take this advice…my future man won’t be complaining to her…thanks!
I've had a hard time trusting anyone, let alone someone in the medical/helping professions like a doctor or therapist. My dilemma: Are they in the profession because they are genuinely interested in helping people to mature past their problems or are they in the profession because they like the sense of control they feel they have over other people's lives or is their motivation just financial? That, to me left too many questions open about doctor's or therapist's true motives for "being there".
Very glad to be subbed to this channel you always have something of value to share and I appreciate that!! Keep goin strong with the movement! Oh yeah and we need merch!
I run on wins and my wife runs on feelings. I cant change her mind but i can change how she feels. I couldnt imagine dumping negativity into her and getting positive feelings out. I stay in my frame. Preform every day there is no relationship equity if you get a kiss you are paid in full so to speak. My montra is "Make each day better then your last". CHANGE AND GROW BECAUSE YOU WANT TOO and not because someone else feels you should. Cool calm collected. My 2 cents. Great video man i like the battle brother idea. If you gotto dump negativity (wine complain sniveling Beoching) bounce that off a guy you trust. Dont use the word sorry. Own it "my bad" or "ill fix it". Men and women love differently. We love who they are and they love what we can do. I dont mean any thing i said as a solid black and white answer, look more at it like a guide to progress.
Next stay in your frame I love a passionate woman. If she gets mad and screamy that's cool but those are not my feelings stay cool calm collected in that fix it mind set. Don't mirror her feelings. A mountain can not bough no matter how the wind howls. Be her rock. I'm attracted to a feminine passionate woman who have feelings and that's great. I have happy mad and sad feelings but they don't pay the mortgage so I don't care about them. Find a battle brother to vent and reflect on if you need that. I've been married 18 years and we been together 19 years total. My commitment cost sex. That's my love language. Men initiate sex. I'm not saying she won't but I'm saying I do. If you get shot down don't get mad (display emotion) take care of it yourself and try again tomorrow.
What I see missing from many Men's lives is the same thing that was missing from my own life. Namely, the healthy childhood sense/feeling of felt security that under the best/most ideal circumstances is "caught by faith" from a more securely attached authority figure. This, as I see it, is the essential and first priority in any Authority/Parent-figures' short(18 yrs.) lifespan as an educator and faith-sharer with their children. Otherwise, those "adult children" who do not receive the gift of felt security spend their days feeling less than, feeling that there is something important missing in their lives and I believe it (the missing "X" factor) is what ultimately drives men or women to abandon relationships and other commitments to go "find themselves". What do you think of my reasoning?
I think you understand your mission as an insightful leader. Effective Communication Self Regulation Order of Men 9 Skills to Master Love Languages Emotional Intelligence 9 Types of Intelligence Social Intelligence 4 Types of Learning Childhood PSTD These are videos on You Tube
I agree with you Ryan 100% We have emasculated men in our society... Keep the good work of teaching Men to be Real MEN. Christopher from Africa, Kenya.
I think people use buzz words in the wrong context. It sounds like what they say when using "Thank you for being vulnerable" they actually mean "Thank you for being authentic" Recommended by the algorithm, probably 2years too late...but still adding my 2c ;)
Not all therapist push "vulnerability ". It is always about connection and fulfilling your role. Your point is good, men NEED to step up and sacrifice. But women can be great partners. Encourage their growth, but men need to lead and sacrifice!
Watch your tone when you talk to him. If that is something you struggle with, think about how he is physically stronger than you and could literally beat you in a physical fight. And let your tone acknowledge his physical strength and dominance over you. This may sound jarring to some, but talk UP to him. That’s the point. Do ALL of the little things he does want you to do. If that’s his passion for the direction of the toilet paper and you disagree, let him lead in toilet paper and he will lead in bigger things. He may be leading you in things you feel are insignificant and because you don’t do them, he doesn’t think you want him to lead. Lastly find joy in serving him. If you serve him like a king, he will act like a king. Please don’t nag. I know you’re hungry for him to step up, but that means you may have to step down.
So 2yrs I was at of point depression. I been drastically changing my life. And praise God I overcome that issue. But, no how can I over come that with my wife. When she seen me go through it? It’s tough. Because actions and words isn’t enough anymore? Because my business fell as a real estate investor and on top of that I wasn’t able to provide or find a job?...
What advice would you give a step-father? He complains that the kids don't keep their room clean, but he also feels like he can't parent them as he would his own kids.
I can agree that Proverbs 31 defines a wife. I can agree that there are some guys who have found a wife in America. I do not have confidence that I will be able to find a wife in America. What are the benchmarks for knowing that a female will actually be a wife?
5:52 I think that whether or not you can have "that kind of conversation" depends upon your wife. Did you marry someone who can be a resource for you to bounce ideas off of or not. This is not a fundamental role of a wife so there is no shame in admitting it. Just recognize her abilities (or lack there of) and have "that kind of conversation" with your battle buddy. But if you married a woman who can be that for you then ... well ... recognize that this is a rare quality in a woman and appreciate her for that. But I still agree, don't be a whinny little bitch that burdens her with all of your problems.
So true, when I bounce my big goal Ideas off of my wife, she’s shoots them down bc they’re not secure. When I talk to my good buddy about them, he has a completely diff perspective. I never go to my wife with my ideas anymore, she will shoot them Down immediately for sake of the kids
The only viable reason I could think of for being emotionally vulnerable was because: My ego was severely damaged by ad hominem attacks at home. I became too shy or introverted so I educated myself on the carnal female nature and psychology... 1. I listened to many females to discern patterns in their thinking... 2. I heard many of them express over and over again that they consider most males to be immature child/little boys. 3. So...if I am going to be considered immature from the start, why not do it on my terms? My terms: I need to sh*t test her to determine whether or not the woman can be trusted not to make ad hominem attacks on my more mature/stronger Ego. If she can refrain from making such hurtful attacks by creating/providing a private space where I can emotionally "meltdown" for my "15 minutes" then... I can trust her not to hurt or emotionally damage our children when she is alone with them... And I can focus on my financially providing efforts more fully. Otherwise, all I am helping to create is yet one more human drone/doing...and not a fully fledged human being capable of independent thought, choice and/or action. That's why I chose to be vulnerable one more time.
I concur regarding the mystique and popularity of being 'vulnerable' it's soy nonsense. Been married 30+ years, three adult children's - all thriving. Men must discern appropriate times for all matters of our household.
Actually BOTH should be vulnerable to each other and your strengths together will make you stronger together. Perspective on that word and it needs to be used appropriately.
@@johnsteele8073 Then she wasnt the right one... We all have work to do on ourselves we are never complete. From a woman I for one don't confide or have a female best friend. My man IS my bestfriend. Many women and men have high standards that aren't fit for their needs but want's. O chose to let those walk away... I waited and didn't settle.. I also don't Believe in the so called lawful marriage under a false sense of the true One Who dwells within..... Stay Faithful hopeful and always be honest....You will get a real woman.
@@blessedwithtruth105 Actually I might have to take that back since you said that you waited and you didn't settle obviously you got the highest status man that you could ....so you practice HYPERGAMY too you just might not understand what it means.
If your wife only married you because of where you're going to take her in life, then she's just using you as an accessory. She should have married you because she wants to help YOU get there. Not just the other way around. That's the woman's role. Is to be the helper.
I was so humbled by the story about lcp carpenter. im so unimpressed by this one. take it from an old guy. women don't care about your problems , not your wife, not your daughters. if they do care you have won the lottery. mostly the wife and kids will take everything you can give and tell you where you should have done more. you are the means to the end. usually if you take them 90 percent of the way , instagram tells them they should be on the beach in bora bora and so the goal post shifts. go to the war, skip marriage. marriage is soul crushing. if you get hurt in the war you get a check
People have twisted, bastardized, narrowed, and redefined so many words it is nearly impossible to communicate honestly. Communicating honestly in a straightforward manner is difficult for most people. Vulnerability maybe. Appropriate language maybe not.
People in society are just teaching people how to be weak instead of empowering themselves. It’s ok to cry when you have had enough but what benefit does it have turning yourself into a crying mess all the time. You use the hard times as a driving force to become a better and stronger more resilient person. No man was shaped without hardships.
Well said. 👏👏👏
the problem is that man and women for the most part do not deal with problems the same way. but in the west we have told boys and girls that they should deal with issues like girls. as a matter of fact boys are discourage to be boys.
now we are learning that in theory all them modern things sound good, but our fundamental programming of survival would not let go. things like, crying man is not attractive to women, or that women have a hard time paying for man.
SELF REGULATION
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
LOVE LANGUAGES
ATTACHMENT THEORY
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE
SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
TYPES OF LEADERSHIP
I agree 100%. Nobody likes a whiny complaining person. We all struggle in life at times, this is part of being human. However, our wives are our life companions, not reservoirs for our negative garbage. Be open, honest, share and confide in your wife, but do so with the intention of seeking solutions. Her opinion is valuable, she may see angles you haven't considered. Respect and be receptive to her perspective to help you find potential courses of action, then move forward with resolve. Women don't want a weak man, but they also don't want a disconnected emotionless robot. They intuitively "know" when things are weighing on our mind so it's not about hiding our struggles, it's about how we communicate them. The balance is somewhere in the middle, and this varies with relationships. IMHO
The only reason men have so many problems is cuz they get involved with women. Stay single.
Factual...... been married now for 26 years.
AMEN to this!!
My wife has no clue when Im tired & weary. Enough said.
I can't ever trust a woman's opinions. Because their motives are almost always selfish. It's takes a very mature, self aware woman who holds herself accountable to a moral standard of relationship behavior to actually give solid advice. And 99.9% of women aren't that.
Guys you better maintain frame and hold your shit together. Your wives can't even handle their own emotions sometimes so don't try and dump yours on top too. Always remember your momma and your dog are the only ones who can love you unconditionally.
Sorry to say I used to think that way...aside from the mom because MANY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE...
I AT 52,have been dragged through this hell. Always wanting love and to give it.
Wasting it on narcissistic behaviors of today's world.
Well I have it, unconditional its mutual we actually pray together for it. You must learn to give up yourself to the world, its lies, possession of you and in complete humility to one another.
He dwells within and IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY REACH THE HIGHEST POINTS OF LOVE IN THE REALM.
YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL IF YOU KNOW WHAT IT ALL IS.
May you all find your match, twin flame, your true other half will make you whole/one.
A bliss that you cannot explain, and a love that you cannot deny.....
What no most moms made all these pussy as men because they didn’t know how to love them. They also didn’t know how to raise them. I got this grown ass man as a husband who would sell his organs to buy his mom a nice purse this lady raised him to only work for
Her happiness because her lazy husband dis mot give her any money. That os jot love and maybe this doesn’t apply yo everyone, but I know thats not unconditional love.
@@arwenrosalie3031 I'm trying to understand why it would be this lady's husband's responsibility to give his wife spending money. Not saying that all moms love unconditionally but mothers are the only ones capable of loving unconditionally. If your husband does things for his mother then good for him as long as she isn't a moocher.
@@chriscostlow4210 so for example my father in law would give her $100 just for her, then she would spend that in one outing which is normal, but then she would go out again with us and start filling up the cart and make my husband pay for all that usually clothes for her daughter in Mexico, her sisters, her neices. Why is it then my husbands responsibility to buy her that? If her own husband would give her spending money or not it was not my husbands responsibility not when she was 50 yrs old young enough to work and if she felt the urge to clothe her entire family on another country.
@@arwenrosalie3031 yeah sounds like she's a real moocher. I could understand getting her something for birthday or mother's day or something. Sounds like your hubby needs to put his foot down on that.
Me and my girl got pregnant I’m 17 never really had a good figure to show me what a husband should do and say so I’m trying too learn as much as I can show my son how to treat his old lady thank you man I appreciate you more than you could know
Good luck brother I’m just a year older and can imagine the immense burden and opportunity you have. Praying for you
Good luck to you sir, always remember that it is you and her versus the issue, not versus each other. Treat them as you wish to be treated, and understand that your son will learn more from what you do rather than what you say. You both have got this!
Praying for you, brother❤
😂
How did both of you guys get pregnant? Jokes aside, children are an absolute blessing. They are the best thing that'll ever happen to you.
Basically, when your wife complains either just sympathize with her ("Oh that's really tough"), or sympathize with her AND fix the problem (don't tell her how to fix it herself, wrong move). When you complain, have a plan to fix your problem to go along with it.
When women complain just pretend you didn't hear her. Then move on with your day.
WRONG !!!! NEVER just fix it if she is complaining, as a matter of fact you are a fool if you do. Now, you can ask her if she wants it fixed and if she response with "yes please", only then you fix it. You then tell her that if she needs something she needs to ask for it and that complaining to you is not an "ask", from that point on just disregard any compline.
If you do not retrain her on day one from bad habits that she probably picked up from her mother, and encourage her to complain when she needs or wants something . . . you will only end up with a nagging wife. She needs to learn how to ask for things like an adult, and not by manipulation.
Women create their own problems and then they either 1) get mad at the man for not solving the problems they create, or 2) they don't want the man to fix their problems because the man will do it in a way that doesn't align with their very specific, ever changing, and arbitrary expectations, or 3) they think that the idea of the man helping them make their life better is "insulting" or "demeaning" or "mysoginist".
If you're in a relationship with a woman, stop adopting the whole "this is just how women are" copout bullshit. Stupidity needs to be confronted and problems need to get solved. Facts are facts. And if she won't let you lead to fix things, and if she especially won't stop creating stupid problems for herself (and you), then she needs to be held accountable.
100% of the problems I've had in every relationship have all stemmed from the woman's reluctance to truly tell me what's going on and trust me to solve the problem, and then she expects me to "just know", and then judges me based on whether I can read her mind or not. And when I tell her this dynamic is toxic and unfair, she tells me the fact she has to communicate isn't fair.
All these stupid expectations are what causes most issues between men and women. Women think they're entitled to their subjective emotional expectations, but men are not entitled to rational objective expectations.
You cannot let a woman's childish mindset dominate the relationship. Whether you give her what she wants or not, she's gonna fight you either way, so you might as well take charge and force her to think like an adult.
All relationships need to be led by the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It's never a good idea to sacrifice he truth and not fulfill your duty as the leader, just to placate to the woman's delicate psychology.
I would adjust that sometimes you can't have a plan to fix your problem UNTIL you complain. If having a plan is the criteria for being able to complain, then that can just incentivize suppressing complaints, which can inhibit fixing the problem. And sometimes the problem is so layered that there is no way to fix it and you have to just suck it up and deal with it; and complaining can be a healthy outlet to give one the strength to tolerate it. Just adding some nuance, is all
Be vulnerable with Jesus and your dog. Women don’t want to hear you complain. None of them.
So damn true.
Damn straight
I'm an atheist, so just my dog it is lol
Or your horses. They always seem to be tuned into everything.
Stay away from wen and you won't have problems with them.
This episode has me saying to myself: accessible over vulnerable.. service before exposure. Thank you for the wisdom.
I'm a woman who never liked whiny people. When I hear myself starting to whine, I tell myself to cut it out.
Now, I believe in prayer and getting wisdom from God. Praying for your spouse every day is an absolute strategy to strengthen him and our marriage. I need him to cover me in prayer too. Lead me, man and I will follow
Much appreciated. I agree, the “venting” and “vulnerability” topics compromise the leadership and create an undeserved/ unwanted scenario in the lives of our significant others.
This is both encouraging and real. Thank you.
Edit: being vulnerable is good advice for women who are emotionally closed off, because that will allow them to get the help they need. The problem comes when (stupid) psychologists assume that men's emotional needs are the same as women's.
I like the word , transparent as a man .
This is where I’m at , this is what I’m dealing with , no one else needs to know , just support me while I grow through it . 💪🏼
Solid advice for any man in a relationship and prerequisite for marriage. Listen with genuine curiosity so that your wife can express anything she feels. There is a lot of personal growth you need to do in order to have a golden ear for your wife to truly feel safe to share.
Powerful podcast this morning. I remember being that guy in my early twenties who wanted to voice his struggles and complain about how "hard" my life was to women because I wanted her validation and sympathy. Was essentially acting as her girlfriend like you said. Keep up the great content Ryan. Glad to see this channel is almost at 200k subs!
If your girl won't give you basic sympathy, she doesn't give a shit about you. Women are meant to be men's helpers, not the other way around. We protect and provide and we lead, and they help us and motivate us to do it by loving us.
You are incredible. I can hear the soundness in your reasoning. Someone who’s done some heart/hard felt soul searching. Thank you for continuing to share among so many unreceptive people looking for excuses to vent. Thank you.
I'm so glad I caught this video. It provides a mindset for interpersonal communication as a leader. showing vulnerabilities in order to address them, always starting or having a solution as part of the process, very very helpful.
Cannot understate the power of therapy enough, your partner, your boss, your mentor, your friends are not your therapist, you can talk about things you're going through and sure they can support you and give you token advice.
But the real working through things and understanding the roots of your disfunction happen there, obviously this will provide massive returns if you do take ownership, stand up and want to go further than "I have a problem, I am un-willing to do anything about it but I will constantly complain about it"
Ryan Holidays book, “the obstacle is the way” got me through one of the hardest moments in my life. I would listen to it over and over on Audible for days. I recommend it. Hearing the quotes from stoic philosophers makes me feel strong and limitless. And it got me to realize that the secret to making a million is making better investment.
I started out with a financial advisor called *" Rochelle Dungca Schreiber ".* Her honest approach gives me complete ownership and control of my positions, and her rates are incredibly affordable given my ROI. However, do your due diligence before contacting a financial advisor.
Heard many good recommendations about Roch Dungca-Schreiber by some YT channels, Seminars and other platforms, how can i reach her?
You can glance her name up on the internet and verify her yourself. She has years of financial market experience
Thanks so much I was able to find her page and I already leave her a message.
Thanks for this Brother. Salute from Durban South Africa
I don’t like venting our chairing my problems or weakness with my friends because friends may become enemies and then they know your weaknesses and problems and they may tell others or use it against you.I talk to my dad or my brother because I know they won’t betray me.
Brothers betray brothers all the time
@@crownchrist sorry to hear that’s your situation but not mine
@@bryanpineda4142 family betrayals is a matter of history... including brother against brother ..
@@crownchrist when a mother has manipulated them against each other. Then yes!
Cain and Abel...
Vulnerability helps your wife to connect with you on a deeper level. Also, science shows that relationships (of any sort) get stronger when the parties effectively handle the bad stuff together. There are certain hormones that will be released that help bonding.
Please check out Brene Brown regarding vulnerability and shame...
Only if it's something she actually wants to help you with. Many women hate it when men open up about what they're struggling with because a sweeping majority of women don't care about the man. The want the man to be nothing but a stoic accessory to her happiness while giving nothing in return
Great advice, especially for men who didn't get the chance to learn it from their fathers or father figure when they were young. You're definitely doing a service to young men. Thanks.
As Lewis said “To love is to be vulnerable.” This is true. However there is an appropriate way to do that while still leading or at least not coming off as a complainer or a burden.
Vulnerability is needed because if you're going to bottle up your emotions and keep on putting on a facade to look powerful, you might overlook real issues you may be facing on the inside. No one is telling you to be vulnerable for the sake of it but being real about your emotions might help you get real insights.
when you are being vulnerable, you show a woman, that you can access your own emotions. This makes her feel safe. Because if you can access and manage your own emotions, she trusts that you can manage hers as well.
Is this from experience?
@@humble.pie. yes. I am an intimacy coach and I have experienced the shift in my husband, as he learned to allow to show his feelings and be vulnerable through men's groups and coaching.
@@maris.severance interesting
@@humble.pie. would you like to know more about it? I'd be happy to connect.
@@maris.severance thank you for asking, very kind of you. But I disagree. Thank you though.
Earned a follow. Solid advice for husbands.
I know this is an old podcast, but from someone who has been with the same woman for almost 36 years, I agree with you completely. I would rephrase the “vulnerability” comment by saying vulnerability means exposing your comments to someone who could use them to hurt you, but you trust them enough not to. However, if you have synergy with your wife as two people joined as one, then you cannot be vulnerable to her. She would not do you harm because she is your wife. Therefore, there’s nothing courageous about sharing things with your wife. She’s your wife. If she gossips or spreads what you say, she’s only technically your wife. A real wife sees harm to you as harm to herself. So it’s not possible to be vulnerable to a true wife.
You are very correct that your wife does not need a whiner or sissy-man. Women are attracted to security. Which means a strong, confidant man. That should not be confused to mean your wife doesn’t want to see you upset emotionally if you lose a mother or father or something like that. That’s not vulnerability. That’s leaning on your other half so she can help lift you. But to be honest, that emotion needs to be quick, and strength returned as quick as possible. She needs to know you understand life and can recover stronger than before. But don’t cut her out in some of the most important tragedies in your life. Cutting her out at these times may cause harm to the trust relationship.
It’s likely your wife will only see an emotional version of you once or twice in your entire marriage. So this must be a real tragedy, not that you lost a job, or someone at work hurt your feelings, or that some issue in the past has you upset to the point of crying over it. Deal with it… or as my grandfather would say, “be a man!”
Refreshing point of view. Well done.
This is extremely valuable. I always thought this way, even though I never had put it into those words myself. I'm not married yet, but hope to be one day with my miss, and this is extremely helpful. Thank you for the content and keep up doing the work of a man.
SELF REGULATION
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
LOVE LANGUAGES
8. SKILLS TO MASTER
9 TYPES OF INTELLIGENCE
4 TYPES OF LEARNING.
OUTDOOR FUN
HOMEMADE INVENTIONS
ECONOMICS.
BAR BETS YOU WILL WIN
SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS FOR KIDS
Reminds me of that Snickers ad,when the guy goes hungry he turns into a chick wailing at his friend.
This woman thinks that was very beautifully said. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Prayers for the best for you and your wife and family. God bless you 🙏🏻
Best relationship advice I've seen on youtube yet....including all your other vids.
All I can saw is thank you. God Bless you and your family ❤
Needed to hear that. Growing up without a real father figure, these Informations are gold to me. Thank you Sir.
In the exclusive phase I start with "let's look for a solution, rather than the problem itself".
It engages both parties (especially myself) on a positive note, regarding a negative issue
Re talking to wife,kids, employees etc I try think of the other party as someone I am in charge of me toeing, as opposed to someone I am in charge of.
Thanks for posting this video. I really appreciated what you said how speaking to your spouse with confidence and with a plan in mind. I’m inspired by how you come to your wife with the intent to get her perspective on your situation and you value her feminine perspective. I also appreciated the thought that of only being vulnerable for a purpose and not to just be vulnerable for the sake of being vulnerable.
I like how you said be vulnerable only for the sake of finding weaknesses and making sure to find solutions to the problem. You expose weakness in order to level up and be stronger. Brooke from Hillsong said Healthy vulnerability is done only in security. Only when people are safe and trust that there is HOPE will people share, otherwise a person risks seeing their problems more than the hope and solution.
He's right. Listen to the WHOLE video. I agree with this.
I'm new around here, I love these. They make me want to be better every day. Now I'm thinking is there an Order of Woman podcast? I would love to get my wife turned on to this.
this info is generally good maybe for the married, and even for general relationships.
"A clever person solves a problem.
A wise person avoids it." (Albert Einstein)
stay single and unencumbered for the win.
I agree: 20 years marriage this may, and following those base rules of communication and manhood has created a positive environment in my home. Add patience, kindness, understanding, and structure to those normal masculine methods of planning and communication; it builds for improved children versus the neighbor's entitled brats.
Just don't let that patience and understanding be taken advantage of.
@@smokingcrab2290 that's mostly true
I listened !!!! WORDS that good. I don't want a community OR town to raise our world. THE words that were spoken from you're thoughtful 💖 perfection with a reason is to search ourself weakness these is to make ourselves better and not EXPLOITED by other human beings AMEN.
My wife and I were just going through possibilities this the exact way you spoke of. Thank you your contact has definitely helped me in my growth as a man and as the leader of my family. Especially with my stepson who never had a stable father figure in his life. Thank you for helping me make him a better stronger young man.
Absolutely spot on.
I needed to hear this from you this morning
Man, I'm glad I've just watched this video.
I refer to it as "Strategic Vulnerability". Choose it wisely.
I call it, "communicating in a language she understands". Took me a long time to learn this language...
As a women, i have to disagree. 14 years and we're going strong.
I welcome Vulnerability, ESPECIALLY from the person i CHOSE to stick with through thick and thin.
Thank you for this video.
Solid advice.
I was this way in the beginning of my relationship, but then I began to slip and ended up ruining the power dynamic. Thanks for this wisdom.
This video is good for dealing with people in general doesn’t matter if they are your parent, friend or spouse no one wants to be around someone who’s always bitching complaining crying and being unnecessarily vulnerable for no reason other than for sympathy instead of looking for sympathy sort your problems out you won’t get any respect or sympathy from anyone if you cry about your struggles but do nothing to solve them people want to be around mentally strong, confident and positive people think if you are in a friend group who are you gonna want more in it the lad who is funny confident mentally strong and sorts his shit out when it needs to be sorted or the guy who’s always sad and crying about his struggles and how life isn’t fair and always asking for sympathy from everyone I don’t know about but I instantly know who I would want in the group out of the two
This one hurt. Right where I needed it..
I needed this… thanks
I needed to hear this rising
Thank you for that. I’ve married my husband with the intention to do great things, more than me or him, like having children, but it can’t happen if one side stuck in childhood. He can cry on my shoulder , as I can on his, but he must stand strong again to his role, so we can achieve greatness again. Any kind loving look is greatness, any appreciation jester is greatness because the world is lack in that. So every time we , as a couple, do that we are ushering others to that path. Be the change you want to see in the world❤
I’m new to these videos and I’ve decided to start climbing the mountain. This video makes complete sense to me, I was bitching to my wife so much every time I would talk to her she doesn’t really want to talk to me anymore. I became a Debbie Downer! I will take this advice…my future man won’t be complaining to her…thanks!
This was such a great video!
You're like an enhanced version of Zach Galifinakis. Thanks for all the work you do!
I've had a hard time trusting anyone, let alone someone in the medical/helping professions like a doctor or therapist.
My dilemma: Are they in the profession because they are genuinely interested in helping people to mature past their problems or are they in the profession because they like the sense of control they feel they have over other people's lives or is their motivation just financial?
That, to me left too many questions open about doctor's or therapist's true motives for "being there".
Very glad to be subbed to this channel you always have something of value to share and I appreciate that!! Keep goin strong with the movement! Oh yeah and we need merch!
Ouch. That stung, because I realised Ive recently been doing this.! I needed this checkup msn, thanks!
needed to hear that. thank u sir. god bless
Love this, everything that you said is right on point.
I run on wins and my wife runs on feelings. I cant change her mind but i can change how she feels. I couldnt imagine dumping negativity into her and getting positive feelings out. I stay in my frame. Preform every day there is no relationship equity if you get a kiss you are paid in full so to speak. My montra is "Make each day better then your last". CHANGE AND GROW BECAUSE YOU WANT TOO and not because someone else feels you should. Cool calm collected. My 2 cents.
Great video man i like the battle brother idea. If you gotto dump negativity (wine complain sniveling Beoching) bounce that off a guy you trust. Dont use the word sorry. Own it "my bad" or "ill fix it". Men and women love differently. We love who they are and they love what we can do. I dont mean any thing i said as a solid black and white answer, look more at it like a guide to progress.
Next stay in your frame I love a passionate woman. If she gets mad and screamy that's cool but those are not my feelings stay cool calm collected in that fix it mind set. Don't mirror her feelings. A mountain can not bough no matter how the wind howls. Be her rock.
I'm attracted to a feminine passionate woman who have feelings and that's great.
I have happy mad and sad feelings but they don't pay the mortgage so I don't care about them. Find a battle brother to vent and reflect on if you need that.
I've been married 18 years and we been together 19 years total. My commitment cost sex. That's my love language. Men initiate sex. I'm not saying she won't but I'm saying I do. If you get shot down don't get mad (display emotion) take care of it yourself and try again tomorrow.
I needed to hear this! Thanks for the different perspective. 🤜🏻
What I see missing from many Men's lives is the same thing that was missing from my own life.
Namely, the healthy childhood sense/feeling of felt security that under the best/most ideal circumstances is "caught by faith" from a more securely attached authority figure.
This, as I see it, is the essential and first priority in any Authority/Parent-figures' short(18 yrs.) lifespan as an educator and faith-sharer with their children.
Otherwise, those "adult children" who do not receive the gift of felt security spend their days feeling less than, feeling that there is something important missing in their lives and I believe it (the missing "X" factor) is what ultimately drives men or women to abandon relationships and other commitments to go "find themselves".
What do you think of my reasoning?
I think you understand your mission
as an insightful leader.
Effective Communication
Self Regulation
Order of Men 9 Skills to Master
Love Languages
Emotional Intelligence
9 Types of Intelligence
Social Intelligence
4 Types of Learning
Childhood PSTD
These are videos on You Tube
Been waiting on this
Valuable content. Thanks.
This is great video
Keep up the good work
Ryan
Are you doing events in New York
New Jersey
Hope you can
I agree with you Ryan 100%
We have emasculated men in our society...
Keep the good work of teaching Men to be Real MEN.
Christopher from Africa, Kenya.
Watching from Nairobi.....great content
Vulnerable = Honest not Weak & Whiny
Thank you for this
Sir you are wise beyond your years, thank you for the great content. Have a sub!
Grunts and grabs. That's my primary comms.
Thanks man ,you bring a very centered point of view
I think people use buzz words in the wrong context. It sounds like what they say when using "Thank you for being vulnerable" they actually mean "Thank you for being authentic"
Recommended by the algorithm, probably 2years too late...but still adding my 2c ;)
Not all therapist push "vulnerability ". It is always about connection and fulfilling your role. Your point is good, men NEED to step up and sacrifice. But women can be great partners. Encourage their growth, but men need to lead and sacrifice!
How do you encourage your man to lead, without telling him to?
Watch your tone when you talk to him. If that is something you struggle with, think about how he is physically stronger than you and could literally beat you in a physical fight. And let your tone acknowledge his physical strength and dominance over you. This may sound jarring to some, but talk UP to him. That’s the point.
Do ALL of the little things he does want you to do. If that’s his passion for the direction of the toilet paper and you disagree, let him lead in toilet paper and he will lead in bigger things. He may be leading you in things you feel are insignificant and because you don’t do them, he doesn’t think you want him to lead.
Lastly find joy in serving him. If you serve him like a king, he will act like a king.
Please don’t nag. I know you’re hungry for him to step up, but that means you may have to step down.
Paid with a divorce, because I was telling my problems to my wife, just sharing my problems... wives are not your friends men..
Hey Ryan here is a throw back man your a different person now 🎉🎉
Fuck vulnerability. We're all human. We don't need to demean and weaken ourselves. Just be open, mature and tactful.
This is solid
So 2yrs I was at of point depression. I been drastically changing my life. And praise God I overcome that issue. But, no how can I over come that with my wife. When she seen me go through it? It’s tough. Because actions and words isn’t enough anymore? Because my business fell as a real estate investor and on top of that I wasn’t able to provide or find a job?...
What advice would you give a step-father? He complains that the kids don't keep their room clean, but he also feels like he can't parent them as he would his own kids.
I need this!
Vulnerable = weak
Open = strength
People get those two words mixed up.
You should right a book about this stuff. I’d read it
I can agree that Proverbs 31 defines a wife. I can agree that there are some guys who have found a wife in America. I do not have confidence that I will be able to find a wife in America. What are the benchmarks for knowing that a female will actually be a wife?
5:52 I think that whether or not you can have "that kind of conversation" depends upon your wife. Did you marry someone who can be a resource for you to bounce ideas off of or not. This is not a fundamental role of a wife so there is no shame in admitting it. Just recognize her abilities (or lack there of) and have "that kind of conversation" with your battle buddy. But if you married a woman who can be that for you then ... well ... recognize that this is a rare quality in a woman and appreciate her for that. But I still agree, don't be a whinny little bitch that burdens her with all of your problems.
So true, when I bounce my big goal
Ideas off of my wife, she’s shoots them down bc they’re not secure. When I talk to my good buddy about them, he has a completely diff perspective.
I never go to my wife with my ideas anymore, she will shoot them
Down immediately for sake of the kids
Be Authentic... NEVER Vulernable
The only viable reason I could think of for being emotionally vulnerable was because:
My ego was severely damaged by ad hominem attacks at home. I became too shy or introverted so I educated myself on the carnal female nature and psychology...
1. I listened to many females to discern patterns in their thinking...
2. I heard many of them express over and over again that they consider most males to be immature child/little boys.
3. So...if I am going to be considered immature from the start, why not do it on my terms?
My terms: I need to sh*t test her to determine whether or not the woman can be trusted not to make ad hominem attacks on my more mature/stronger Ego.
If she can refrain from making such hurtful attacks by creating/providing a private space where I can emotionally "meltdown" for my "15 minutes" then...
I can trust her not to hurt or emotionally damage our children when she is alone with them...
And I can focus on my financially providing efforts more fully.
Otherwise, all I am helping to create is yet one more human drone/doing...and not a fully fledged human being capable of independent thought, choice and/or action.
That's why I chose to be vulnerable one more time.
Tone says SO much regardless of the means… 😔
I concur regarding the mystique and popularity of being 'vulnerable' it's soy nonsense. Been married 30+ years, three adult children's - all thriving. Men must discern appropriate times for all matters of our household.
Good video.
But the volume level is vulnerable.
Actually BOTH should be vulnerable to each other and your strengths together will make you stronger together.
Perspective on that word and it needs to be used appropriately.
Lol then she divorces you because she thinks that you're weak
@@johnsteele8073 Then she wasnt the right one... We all have work to do on ourselves we are never complete. From a woman I for one don't confide or have a female best friend. My man IS my bestfriend. Many women and men have high standards that aren't fit for their needs but want's.
O chose to let those walk away...
I waited and didn't settle..
I also don't Believe in the so called lawful marriage under a false sense of the true One Who dwells within.....
Stay Faithful hopeful and always be honest....You will get a real woman.
@@blessedwithtruth105 You might be able to suppress your hypergamy... But most women can't as evidenced by the divorce rates
@@blessedwithtruth105 Actually I might have to take that back since you said that you waited and you didn't settle obviously you got the highest status man that you could ....so you practice HYPERGAMY too you just might not understand what it means.
Totally agree!
Good man
If your wife only married you because of where you're going to take her in life, then she's just using you as an accessory. She should have married you because she wants to help YOU get there. Not just the other way around. That's the woman's role. Is to be the helper.
I was so humbled by the story about lcp carpenter. im so unimpressed by this one. take it from an old guy. women don't care about your problems , not your wife, not your daughters. if they do care you have won the lottery. mostly the wife and kids will take everything you can give and tell you where you should have done more. you are the means to the end. usually if you take them 90 percent of the way , instagram tells them they should be on the beach in bora bora and so the goal post shifts. go to the war, skip marriage. marriage is soul crushing. if you get hurt in the war you get a check
People have twisted, bastardized, narrowed, and redefined so many words it is nearly impossible to communicate honestly.
Communicating honestly in a straightforward manner is difficult for most people.
Vulnerability maybe. Appropriate language maybe not.
Great Episode! I've heard I don't have a wife, but only a cleaning lady with benefits. But not anymore.