😳 It’s honestly shocking how much I can relate to this. As an introvert girly who was homeschooled 😭 growing up. I notice these tendencies in my own life and find it difficult to break that cycle of unhealthy amounts of isolation since it feels so normal for me.. I used to befriend people who really didn’t care for me, and now I feel like I have raised the standard and want valuable friendships that I can truly be myself in and not feel the need to hide out of fear of not being appreciated, but it isn’t as easy as I thought it’d be. Thanks for sharing this though, because I also have felt some of these same feelings, so it made perfect sense. I think it stems from fear of rejection and fear of being taken advantage of at-least that’s what I notice in myself. I hope you are able to open up and see the value and beauty that you bring to others in due timing and find others who see that in you as well❤️.
@@ZulekaG you bring up such a good point about befriending people who dont care for or value your friendship. i think i did that a lot on high school and that mindset is carrying over into my new ones and i hate that 😖 thank you so much for listening! i think being aware is the first step to getting those friendships you want, so i truly believe you'll be able to give and receive friendship fearlessly and comfortably one day 🤍 dont drop those standards!!
So glad I came across your video. Just know there are other people out there that feel the exact same way. You’ve articulated how I feel in a way I haven’t been able to so Thank you for putting it out there!
"people are okay with not hearing from me". mad relatable. all my friends have graduated and im the only one doing my master's so ive gotten used to just being on my own. funny thing is, i am very aware that being okay with being alone doesn't mean i have to actively remain alone.
I loved watching this video. I’ve met so many new people in the last 2-3 years & they identify me as an extrovert when I feel like naturally I’ve grown up as an introvert & was forced to be extrovert when I got put into certain positions when it came to work & even school stuff in leadership positions. I feel so at peace when I’m just alone or even if I’m with one person and just doing our own thing but in companionship. I feel if I’m in a large gathering or shown that I’m with a lot of people it’s not that I’m an extrovert but several of my newer friends say it’s because I “blend in well” like in a way of like a chameleon. I definitely get that mindset about feeling annoying if I’m messaging about hanging out or doing something like the “what if they don’t wanna actually wanna hang out”
Also as an introvert I had to come to the point where I’d be like ya know what, I really don’t want to lose that particular friend! (and not just feel like everyone gets that status btw) and then I plan how we will talk or get together like scheduled regular once a month or something because if I don’t plan it, I will NEVER feel like it. Planned I’m ready and enjoy them, spontaneity not a thing for me at this point. And I still don’t have anyone that I would be able to entrust with everything at all times. Even my husband, I had to preempt his reaction to something the other day with saying, ok I’m going to tell you something just don’t say anything or make any sounds that make me seem dumb! lol with that forwarning he was able to behave 😂 I have to keep things brief with him too. We learn what and how to share with our best people
I still have moments where it feels crazy that no one but God gets all of me. And almost everyone does have moments of feeling like, I’m different and don’t belong, and everyone else does. The truth is that we are each an interesting little universe to navigate, no body matches, no one has all the pieces of the puzzle. So glad you have your faith and a desire to be a better friend. Both will help so much! Bless you!
There’s a part of you that’s afraid of holding people at bay and a part that’s afraid to NOT hold them at bay. Find out what each part wants and what they are afraid will happen if they don’t hold their ground so they can work together. Hear them both out. All of our parts want good things and carry wisdom often born of pain. And sometimes they do believe things that are not entirely true so it’s good that you are articulating their inner beliefs about people etc. Keep doing that so it exposes the old beliefs and look for something that will be true and constructive about how to safely approach relationships and how to know if the pros outweigh the cons with going deeper in any given moment. Bottom line hear all the parts out, individually. They do make sense when we listen, even if they seem to disagree and even though we only notice them when they are not effective in their methods. And if we don’t listen to all of them, and try to force things, it can really backfire for us emotionally (Sorry if this is a lot, lol, I’m in the therapy field and I love it 🤣) BTW I very much appreciate you and your videos and think a lot of people probably do love you! I really appreciate your honesty and openness with us and I also know that not everyone will be able to respond well to that in life or even be looking for that on UA-cam, but some of us really do feel grateful for it 🙏🏻🕊️ I’m learning from you and I’m more than twice your age btw. You’re doing great!
Loved this conversation!! I relate a lot to this in so many areas. I actually just started reading this book called “find your people” by Jennie Allen and it has help me fixed my mindset as someone who doesn’t always crave relationships because of also having the same fears to see biblically why it is important to God that I have a village and how to go about building that! There’s something weird and hard about making friends in later 20’s as a 26 year old lol. I’m Literally on this same journey, appreciate you talking about this!
ohh i might have to cop that book. im glad you could resonate with some of this thank you so much for listening! friendships in your 20s is seemingly much more complicated and it really does dig up some mindsets that are just not good. thanking God for grace 😭 praying for your journey with this too!
😳 It’s honestly shocking how much I can relate to this. As an introvert girly who was homeschooled 😭 growing up. I notice these tendencies in my own life and find it difficult to break that cycle of unhealthy amounts of isolation since it feels so normal for me.. I used to befriend people who really didn’t care for me, and now I feel like I have raised the standard and want valuable friendships that I can truly be myself in and not feel the need to hide out of fear of not being appreciated, but it isn’t as easy as I thought it’d be. Thanks for sharing this though, because I also have felt some of these same feelings, so it made perfect sense. I think it stems from fear of rejection and fear of being taken advantage of at-least that’s what I notice in myself. I hope you are able to open up and see the value and beauty that you bring to others in due timing and find others who see that in you as well❤️.
@@ZulekaG you bring up such a good point about befriending people who dont care for or value your friendship. i think i did that a lot on high school and that mindset is carrying over into my new ones and i hate that 😖 thank you so much for listening! i think being aware is the first step to getting those friendships you want, so i truly believe you'll be able to give and receive friendship fearlessly and comfortably one day 🤍 dont drop those standards!!
So glad I came across your video. Just know there are other people out there that feel the exact same way. You’ve articulated how I feel in a way I haven’t been able to so Thank you for putting it out there!
this is very relieving to read, thank you!! i truly appreciate you for listening
"people are okay with not hearing from me". mad relatable. all my friends have graduated and im the only one doing my master's so ive gotten used to just being on my own. funny thing is, i am very aware that being okay with being alone doesn't mean i have to actively remain alone.
i think we unlock another part of ourselves when we are in the company of people we love and enjoy being around!
I loved watching this video. I’ve met so many new people in the last 2-3 years & they identify me as an extrovert when I feel like naturally I’ve grown up as an introvert & was forced to be extrovert when I got put into certain positions when it came to work & even school stuff in leadership positions. I feel so at peace when I’m just alone or even if I’m with one person and just doing our own thing but in companionship. I feel if I’m in a large gathering or shown that I’m with a lot of people it’s not that I’m an extrovert but several of my newer friends say it’s because I “blend in well” like in a way of like a chameleon. I definitely get that mindset about feeling annoying if I’m messaging about hanging out or doing something like the “what if they don’t wanna actually wanna hang out”
i think a healthy balance of both is sooo important
Also as an introvert I had to come to the point where I’d be like ya know what, I really don’t want to lose that particular friend! (and not just feel like everyone gets that status btw) and then I plan how we will talk or get together like scheduled regular once a month or something because if I don’t plan it, I will NEVER feel like it. Planned I’m ready and enjoy them, spontaneity not a thing for me at this point. And I still don’t have anyone that I would be able to entrust with everything at all times. Even my husband, I had to preempt his reaction to something the other day with saying, ok I’m going to tell you something just don’t say anything or make any sounds that make me seem dumb! lol with that forwarning he was able to behave 😂 I have to keep things brief with him too. We learn what and how to share with our best people
I still have moments where it feels crazy that no one but God gets all of me. And almost everyone does have moments of feeling like, I’m different and don’t belong, and everyone else does. The truth is that we are each an interesting little universe to navigate, no body matches, no one has all the pieces of the puzzle. So glad you have your faith and a desire to be a better friend. Both will help so much! Bless you!
There’s a part of you that’s afraid of holding people at bay and a part that’s afraid to NOT hold them at bay. Find out what each part wants and what they are afraid will happen if they don’t hold their ground so they can work together. Hear them both out. All of our parts want good things and carry wisdom often born of pain. And sometimes they do believe things that are not entirely true so it’s good that you are articulating their inner beliefs about people etc. Keep doing that so it exposes the old beliefs and look for something that will be true and constructive about how to safely approach relationships and how to know if the pros outweigh the cons with going deeper in any given moment. Bottom line hear all the parts out, individually. They do make sense when we listen, even if they seem to disagree and even though we only notice them when they are not effective in their methods. And if we don’t listen to all of them, and try to force things, it can really backfire for us emotionally (Sorry if this is a lot, lol, I’m in the therapy field and I love it 🤣) BTW I very much appreciate you and your videos and think a lot of people probably do love you! I really appreciate your honesty and openness with us and I also know that not everyone will be able to respond well to that in life or even be looking for that on UA-cam, but some of us really do feel grateful for it 🙏🏻🕊️ I’m learning from you and I’m more than twice your age btw. You’re doing great!
this touched me a lot. THANK YOU! 🤍 i appreciate your insight on this so much. its nice to know that these are not unique feelings
"hear all the parts out individually" 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 will do
@@tianaveevlogs 😊 Have a great day!
Loved this conversation!! I relate a lot to this in so many areas. I actually just started reading this book called “find your people” by Jennie Allen and it has help me fixed my mindset as someone who doesn’t always crave relationships because of also having the same fears to see biblically why it is important to God that I have a village and how to go about building that! There’s something weird and hard about making friends in later 20’s as a 26 year old lol. I’m Literally on this same journey, appreciate you talking about this!
ohh i might have to cop that book. im glad you could resonate with some of this thank you so much for listening! friendships in your 20s is seemingly much more complicated and it really does dig up some mindsets that are just not good. thanking God for grace 😭 praying for your journey with this too!
I can relate to so many things you have talked about in this video.
glad im not alone 😭