"Bedroom? If you insist. I mean you are pretty cute." He took my hand, I blush deeply. As we walked toward the bedroom, I pull out my bad dick. "Wow, I thought you were a lady. Well, whatever works!!!" Narrator: It didn't work. "It's okay, my surgeon is the best." "My surgeon did a good job on me. I was once a dog." Conveniently, he identifies as a dogkin. "Wow, that's quite a surprise." You know what else is surprising? He had a thirteen inch dog penis. It was red and everything, but like, as a joke. Anyways, I fucked it. My parents are really proud of him for that massive honk. There were also happy with my ability to take such a massive dog... to think I was gay before.
I feel like you did this edit job perfectly. It would be cool to have a full 10 minute video of all the intros to these videos (the weird noise and Carson's twitch link)
So I was in the backseat of my friends car and we drove past a restaurant that said “Wood Fired Pizza.” And I said, “wood fired pizza, how is pizza gonna get a job now?”
Every time I watch your videos I hear a sentence that I never thought I would ever hear in my life Example “24framesofnick is in my chat and he won’t stop saying cock”
@@MamaMarcyy he very well could be, we dont truly know what satan looks like. He could have toned muscles that make him look like handsome squidward, but we dont know because we have to die to see him
Me and a friend did this accidentally, we put a nametag on an enderman trying to put it on a horse and the enderman didn't disappear, it just kept teleporting around the base and at night he'd move in, and for some weird reason that no one understands, we could stare at it and it did the animation of getting angry but it would not attack. One day he just disappeared and we never saw it again :(
Uranus is baby blue, with vertical rings. That planet is clearly black with horizontal, thick rings. Yeah I get it, Uranus sounds funny haha. Know your planets Carson
Dear Carson, This is a nice video Carson, but I need to know where волк is. It’s been years since the accident in Russia and he’s been missing ever since. Theories have been appearing that warn me about how you may have волк and that makes me, along with hundreds of thousands of others, very alarmed. Please alert me immediately if you have him as I am constantly thinking about волк and have been worried since the catastrophe years ago. Sincerely, Your Neighborhood Friendly Ketamine Addict
Its possible to tame an enderman using an old glitch I found idk what I did but somehow it attacked for me no commands were involved just me going to an endcity and going from creative to survival and looking at an enderman
A way way to tame a ender man is to get it agrssive the go to bed then it will follow you when you wake up but it will not attack unless you look at it
Imagine being 8, watching Minecraft videos, and hearing a family member say "Carson, we need to make a cuck laberynth." Or "24FramesOfNick is in my chat and won't stop saying Cock." Cause that happened to Schlatt.
I used to have an enderman on a server and his name was Bob. Discovered him while clearing a cave with my friend and he was completely chill. You could look him right in the eyes and he wouldn't do anything. We named him "Bob" so he wouldn't despawn and he is still roaming that server to this day.
*"Have you seen Uranus"*
*"Uh my neck don't break like that"*
Got me rolling
Lol (wheeze) lol
Of all people Carson didn’t laugh, the guy that dies at every joke,
I know same. How do you see Uranus though? I can't seem to bend enough
@@sawyerbuss637
.
"Bedroom? If you insist. I mean you are pretty cute." He took my hand, I blush deeply. As we walked toward the bedroom, I pull out my bad dick. "Wow, I thought you were a lady. Well, whatever works!!!" Narrator: It didn't work. "It's okay, my surgeon is the best." "My surgeon did a good job on me. I was once a dog." Conveniently, he identifies as a dogkin. "Wow, that's quite a surprise." You know what else is surprising? He had a thirteen inch dog penis. It was red and everything, but like, as a joke. Anyways, I fucked it. My parents are really proud of him for that massive honk. There were also happy with my ability to take such a massive dog... to think I was gay before.
Uranus is so big it casts a shadow upon the common folk
The new yo mama jokes
Cosmic Remix
*Joe mama*
It's fucking saturn
Just like Big Lion
@@youraveragehotdog6836 Saturn is so big it casts a shadow on the common folk.
This is my first time editing for Carson, so let me know if you guys have suggestions for future videos.
you did a great job!
I feel like you did this edit job perfectly. It would be cool to have a full 10 minute video of all the intros to these videos (the weird noise and Carson's twitch link)
Everytime carson thinks enter a quiet "wood fired pizza" joke so it looks like he tells it to himself
Yoitsgold more like youareagoodeditor
You did amazing!!!
I'm not sure why but the fact that the enderman is called greg just makes this funnier to me
I think it's because Greg is an ordinary human name thus you wouldn't expect a mystical being from another world to be called that
Nintendough Fact: all Greg’s are mystical beings from a another world
gregoryman11 then we’re both from another world
@@nintendough7171 finally someone who agrees that endermen aren't human
seriously though that was a shit theory
Gergerman
“jschlatt was slain by Dick” should have been my senior quote
Stop. You’re giving me Ideas
irrelevant but im ur 69th like
@@atlas9490 n i c e
That will be my senior quote
I was about to like,until i saw that pfp
rename Greg to Chad.
>he's 7 foot tall
>buff as fungle nuts
>picks on other kids
>lifts (blocks)
F U N G L E. N U T S
No name him tyrone cuz he cant swim and goes out at night and steals stuff
@@miketikeYT racist
@@denimdinofan9 yo it's a fucking joke
@@miketikeYT hes also black
"What are we, some kind of clown factory?"
Yes.
The doctor to my parents seconds before my birth
have you ever seen a clown and hitler together in the same room? i didn't think so.
Haha so funny
Juan Cortez Muro you are not a clown you're the entire circus
Perhaps
I’m very scared of Enderman, but Greg honestly seems like a cool dude I can have a cold one with
I love your coments
For real, Greg is a chill dude.
You can't have a cold one with Greg tho, Water is in Alcohol
this is cring
Cracking a cold one with the Llamas & Greg
2:55 this laugh added 10 years to my lifespan
HFNFNNDNBD that was adorable
How does everyone on this server have such a wonderful laugh?
2:56
IT WAS SOO CUTE SJBSISAJ
MY HEART
"Carson why am I full of sin?"
Jschlatt 2019
senior quote
schlatt 2020
𝐉𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐤
i had to pause the video because i was wheezing so hard i couldn't here what they where saying
i see Xs
pls someone say what it says
Or My ass
Or some shit
**wheeze**
Wood fired pizza? How will pizza get a job now
wood fire bread? how bread hire?
Wood fired Pizza? How will pizza get a job now?
wanna hear a joke? so I was sitting in the back of our car...
it will search Indeed
Wood fired pizza? How will pizza get a job now
So I was in the backseat of my friends car and we drove past a restaurant that said “Wood Fired Pizza.” And I said, “wood fired pizza, how is pizza gonna get a job now?”
So are you still friends?
Please don’t say that stuff again it’s so old, your way past the trend
@@schooler5372 it's not that old. Plus it's you're*
Ok “I’m a idiot but”
KvKiivi it’s like 7 weeks old so you tell me if that ship has sailed
If all the smplive clips were in chronological order in a playlist id be a happy man
I really don't know why he doesn't have a playlist for them.
ua-cam.com/play/PLPMDWTWt6pvE0PheRLh87NDNZ50UGLymd.html
almonds
- Buckaroo - t h a n k.
- Buckaroo - i love you
travis’ laugh clears my skin and i am fertile
uh oh
@@skimpskomp stinky
fertile?
your #1 banana bread dealer 🤰
I could watch 100 straight hours of jschlatt and carson playing minecraft
Physically unhealthy but *very* worth it
@@CarsonG1017 physically impossible too
I could watch 100 hours of Jcshlatt being killed by D I C K
What about 100 gay hours are you homophobic little boy?
me fucking too they r the best duo dude
when you realize that all clips in this video are a few months old *pepehands*
VoHanxZ シ I thought I was going insane
Yeah, i started watching and I was so confused...
Maybe its because of the editor
It's Carson... what do you expect
yeah, because the background of his room is different
0:08 I love how much this noise intrigues me to visit your twitch channel
@@Lokeiy not poke
@@Lokeiy gold edited this one bro
it's an enderman bro
sounds like typical travis noise
@@Lokeiy so does Poke usually make noises for intros?
3:16 schlatt's laugh gives me life
Every time I watch your videos I hear a sentence that I never thought I would ever hear in my life
Example “24framesofnick is in my chat and he won’t stop saying cock”
jschlatt was slain by dick
What time is it at
This title is equivalent to
“We tried to tame SATAN in Minecraft”
XVRTK17 • but is satan tall black and handsome?
Same energy
herobrian
@@MamaMarcyy he very well could be, we dont truly know what satan looks like. He could have toned muscles that make him look like handsome squidward, but we dont know because we have to die to see him
the counter counter yeah but would you fuck him?
Travis laugh in the background is so wholesome 😭💕
Tasi_ Doodles especially at 2:56
@@marisa810 yesssss!!!
right?!
travis has the best laugh ever
you trying to tame an enderman is equivalent to pizza finding a job
*_impossible_*
"What are we, some kind of clown factory?"
My answer:
Wood fired pizza? How will pizza get a job now?
Me and a friend did this accidentally, we put a nametag on an enderman trying to put it on a horse and the enderman didn't disappear, it just kept teleporting around the base and at night he'd move in, and for some weird reason that no one understands, we could stare at it and it did the animation of getting angry but it would not attack. One day he just disappeared and we never saw it again :(
just like my dad
bruh
What was it called?
"If I drink the water I won't drown*
*Big Brain 100*
Cringe
CATO MINE Gaming no u
CATO MINE Gaming no u
Yea this is big brain time
CATO MINE Gaming no u
Carson where’s my pog collection
brother?
Atomik brother?!
@@lowmein9870 brother?!?!
yuh PFP BROTHER?!?
@@lowmein9870 YES!
Playing 5:43 at 0.25x speed is the funniest and scariest sound I’ve heard this week.
Lola the Gardevoir TFF HAHAHAHA
Carson is talking the language of the lamas
but 5:56 tho
Why did you? XD
Oh I'm sorry, I meant RAWR XD
"& also nuts" made me laugh an upsetting amount
8:30 i-
"shut up let me finish"
"this isn't the strip club"
What?
@@bryannguien2 Check the chat
Did u know Carson was born in 2020 that means he’s from the future
**mind blown**
How did you find this out?
i have a boner
@@minionmonster2873 nice
@@minionmonster2873 you guys get boners?
Can he tell us if pizza will get a new job?
Did you guys know that wood fired pizza? Unbelievable.
I know how is pizza gonna find a job now
I know right wtf
FUUUUUUCK
Dude like what the hell how is pizza gonna live
how will pizza get a job now wtf
11:48
Ah yes, my biases. Kim Carson, Kim Seokjin, and Sunwon
THE TASTE
What the line up of Super M should have been 😂
yass seokjin
Carson oppar 😍😍😍
Didn't he say seonjin? My favourite BTS member
Me: turns quality to 1080p
Carson’s face cam: no
carson’s videos are so far behind
we will find the cure for cancer and he will still be making wood fire pizza jokes
carson please take my first born it is yours to have
Yum
"The first born will be yours when it is ready for you to have."
The first borns always taste the best
@@wawawiwa___ fax they're tender af
M e a t
I love how schlatt gets like 3 extra deaths pr video
When he said “spit on me balls” I felt that
Is it bad that I know exactly what those emotes look like just from their sounds
Harrison Ward I know I already know its the knight emote lol
Just look the Enderman in the eyes to tame them.
You got to prove that you’re the dominant one.
Wtf there was an upload yesterday
Carson are you feeling ok
Well, he has editors you know
Milli N yeah I know I’m subbed to one, we just don’t really get 2 uploads within 2 days
11:47 I WHEEZED SO HARD LMAO
I feel so bad for laughing but its too funny lmao
Hahahahhahaha omfg same
I desperately need this
XHXITFG
yoonjin and soonwon PLEEEASEJSJD 😭😭
Uranus is baby blue, with vertical rings. That planet is clearly black with horizontal, thick rings. Yeah I get it, Uranus sounds funny haha. Know your planets Carson
Carl you must be fun at parties.
chill
A Skeleton named Carl and an Enderman named Greg.
Do you guys know each other?
Shut the fuck up carl
Caaaaaaarrrrrrrlllll.... Why did you kill it? Why did you kill the fucking atmosphere?
7:46 well, you know what they say Schlatt is the master of.
“I am the *P V P G O D* “
“Have you seen the planet at spawn”
“But have you seen the moon walking bear Cooper”
I fuck with this
Dear Carson,
This is a nice video Carson, but I need to know where волк is. It’s been years since the accident in Russia and he’s been missing ever since. Theories have been appearing that warn me about how you may have волк and that makes me, along with hundreds of thousands of others, very alarmed. Please alert me immediately if you have him as I am constantly thinking about волк and have been worried since the catastrophe years ago.
Sincerely,
Your Neighborhood Friendly Ketamine Addict
I miss bonk
I’m fairly new to this channel so I have no idea who this Bonk person is. Could you, if not someone else tell me?
@@perry.6523 watch jschlatt video about cities skyline
bonk or volk?
What about MeBeeb
When you look at a comment section seconds after the video is released:
“THERE SEEMS TO BE NO SIGN OF INTELLIGENT LIFE ANYWHERE.”
cringe
TWO UPDLOADS IN TWO DAY
HAPPINESS NOISE
"I thought he was chill... I thought Greg was my man."
*Altrive was slain by Zombie Pigman*
On any resolution below 1080p Carson looks like a still Picture
5:43
Lady's and gentlemen we got him
When Carson uploads a video at his old house🗿
Bruh i just notice that .
Its possible to tame an enderman using an old glitch I found idk what I did but somehow it attacked for me no commands were involved just me going to an endcity and going from creative to survival and looking at an enderman
"Y'know those three pronged back massagers, with the vibration on em"
"No, I'm not a part of the one percent"
balls really should’ve done a hawk tuah on carson
carson, that’s not a pet. it’s an enderman
i had a dream about that man in your profile pic
@@jackofallsports9830 me too, he gave mean head
5:42 Hawk tuah
idk why but i’m obsessed w travis’ laugh😔
5:43 would've gone so hard in this Hawk Tuah era
enderman: cant teleport from dimension to dimension. Gets stuck in boat, stuck for it's entire life
this is unhumanly, carson uploading two days in a row??? must be taking a break from watching pokimane
What episode did the Carson watching pokimane joke come from?
"What are we some kind of clown factory?" - Carson 2019
as a kpop fan and carson fan, I fully support the idea to give the kpop fans dialogue to use
guage *yEs*
*yEs*
yes please
Y E S
Indeed
*Callmecarson* has earned the achievement [morning wood]
knowing jshlatts 8 year old cousin found this video is great to think about
Happy birthday carson, have a happy birth day carson. I am so happy you have a happy birth day car son
Therapist: big Uranus can’t hurt you
Big Uranus: 0:12
Carson was live damn nobody told me when carson was going live
Steffu bruh
Simpler times...
7:37 - did he turn into Hank Hill for a second?
A way way to tame a ender man is to get it agrssive the go to bed then it will follow you when you wake up but it will not attack unless you look at it
Enderman: Exists
Carson: **Im finna go England in the 1700's on this nigga**
Epic Gamer so funny 😐
Its not like this joke lost popularity 2 years ago
You have no comedic value
old meme
Imagine being 8, watching Minecraft videos, and hearing a family member say "Carson, we need to make a cuck laberynth." Or "24FramesOfNick is in my chat and won't stop saying Cock."
Cause that happened to Schlatt.
I love the insinuation that clowns are manufactured atop tall towers
*Wood fired pizza, how will pizza get a job now*
Foxy 47 bruh
STOLLLLLLLLEN
When you accidentally type out the entire Declaration of Independence even though you a Canadian
Ok so I was sitting in the back of my car...
Wood fired pizza!!!!
That sounds delicious
Top 10 anime plot twists
Top 10 best jokes.
Wish I could turn back time to the good old days
Missing Enderman named Greg, if seen, boat.
4:54 “IM IN THE BACKROOMS”
Fucn lol
Did the backrooms exist back then or am i just being dumb
@@unsalted_cheese5758It did, it had a small presence online in 2019 and then it exploded in 2022
Guys the enderman is called Greg and Carson looks like Rowley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid and he called him his best friend....
I cant believe jschlatt's family found out about his youtube through this video
Mia Llamas I thought it was just his Little cousin the rest already knew
Jschlatt was slain by dick
You have angered Greg the almighty
“My neck don’t break like that” I absolutely SCREAMED
The stream this was from is honestly Carson's best SMP LIVE stream
Bruh, this clash royale clan is the best in the world
What's it called?
@@abowl1291 h3h3productions, but I think it's full rn
Carson getting mad at a pig man is a mood
No it’s not a “mood”
Saying mood is gay
“Mood” go away
Calm down lol that’s the first time I’ve said mood in months
Crane Dont care 🖕😐🖕
At this point Carson’s videos are deep lore for SMP Live
Never knew how Greg wound up in the boat, but now I do
I died when jschlatt said “and nuts”
You should’ve named the enderman, Dad because it always disappears
The next episode is gonna be called
Return of Greg
Total Gregation.
was just listening to remember me by mr de la cruz
Get BOOMER’d
2:56 *his laugh was so cute I-*
I used to have an enderman on a server and his name was Bob. Discovered him while clearing a cave with my friend and he was completely chill. You could look him right in the eyes and he wouldn't do anything. We named him "Bob" so he wouldn't despawn and he is still roaming that server to this day.
11:47 As a kpop fan to this day im still laughing lmao
fr 😭
"is this Uranus"
*Dies at own joke*
*Luckily, I was diagnosed with street smarts*
Carson's channel is the physical embodiment of chaotic dude energy.
"but have you seen the fucking planet at spawn, schlatt"
*"but have you seen the moonwalker bear, cooper, i don't know"*
I have fear no man...
But that thing 9:31
It scares me
They're making bebe ok