Jupiter Ascending (Starring Mila Kunis) Movie Review
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- Jupiter Ascending starring Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, and Sean Bean is reviewed by Ben Mankiewicz (host of Turner Classic Movies), Matt Atchity (Editor-in-chief Rottentomatoes.com), Alonso Duralde (TheWrap and Linoleum Knife podcast) and Christy Lemire (www.ChristyLemire.com).
See what other critics are saying: www.rottentomat...
From the streets of Chicago to the far-flung galaxies whirling through space, "Jupiter Ascending" tells the story of Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), who was born under a night sky, with signs predicting she was destined for great things. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning other people's houses and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along-her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos. (C) Warner Bros
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"I didn't see it."--Ben Mankiewicz
as always...
I'm new to this channel. Does he ever watch the movies?
once a month, with luck.
Tal Moore i really want someone t omake a compilation of ben saying "i didnt see this movie"
Will Theo "Whaaaaatttt?!?! I'm so confused" - Christy just said that cause she was in disbelief like damn... lmao
"If you crossed 'The Chronicles of Riddick' with 'The Princess Diaries' you would get this movie." Matt summed it up so perfectly!
Fun to see a review of a movie is more fun to watch than the movie itself. I liked the critics riffing on each other: "You're dead inside." and "He's janking the score up."
I would like to see more of that... reminds me of Siskel and Ebert in the good ol'days.
I think the critic who didn't see the movie should be the moderator to make sure the other critics don't get violent with each other or get off topic by giving/taking personal insults instead of insulting the movie.
I thought Alonso was going to destroy this movie, but ironically, ended up enjoying it more than everyone in the group.
Is it just me or is Alonso's face a weird carrot color...?
It's a bad make-up job, for aure... they had to paint around the huge beard. But I love me some Alonso anyway! 😘
No. Either he has yellow fever (rather unlikely), or somebody didn't grab the right jar of makeup.
spray tan my friend. guess since thats the only part of his body he will show in public thats the only part he put some color on. only noticeable to me cause of his pale hands
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I think their lighting setup failed. Its all dark.
Ben doesn't watch anything.
That's what they said when he spent a year on At the Movies.
*****
LOL! forgot about that!
***** it was for the Strange Magic review. It got removed off the Wtf page.
www.inquisitr.com/1798951/ben-mankiewicz-film-critic-makes-astonishing-incest-porn-reference-while-discussing-kids-movie/
***** hoamboy100 Ben actually originally mentioned it in a TYT video, where it was well received. Didnt work on WTF lol.
James Campbell-Laing Yeah when they had that woman from the porn business on again for a special segment.
So, is Ben part of the background now?
What did Ben see this week?
Himself
***** Who didn't?
I'm with Alonso here. I can't explain it but I enjoyed this one.
I don't know if this only happened here in Australia, but alonso's review was quoted on the back of the blu-ray cover haha
I saw this movie and it's not nearly as bad as critics are making it out to be. It's not GOTG, but kids will still enjoy it.
Fully endorse Alonso's suggestion that this should be a film series.
I cracked up laughing when I heard Sean Bean's voice
I loved it! The action, the characters, and the designs! It was all crazy and fun.
8:21 "You don't expect the Wachowskis to ever borrow from anybody else"...WTF?
8:50 Fail, that part of Cloud Atlas was directed by Tom Tykwer, not the Wachowskis
Saw this with my wife last night (her choice by the way) and Matt's comment about this being a cross between the Princess Diaries and the Chronicles of Riddick is almost spot on.
A beautiful mess of Jodowrowsky's Dune meets 80's Flash Gordon.
Exactly is a beautiful mess. I know it sucks, and everyone who hates it has all the reasons to do it, but I couldn't help seeing the potential, and enjoying what could have been.
This movie is a B minus through and through. I liked it and after all the panning I thought it would be much worse but I'm glad it wasn't. So... the problem for me with this movie was that there were no rules (sort of in the likes of what Matt was saying about the ship designs), basically if it exists it is probably in this movie: dino-gargoyles, lycan-elf looking creatures, all kinds of robots and android-ish type things, and the list goes on. The space opera world building is very well done in this movie but again there were no rules. Channing Tatum's rocket skates were cool but deep down I thought they were stupid and too cheesy to be taken seriously (and I really tried to play along with it), Mila Kunis was good in this movie, very solid acting, same with Tatum. I get what Eddie Redmayne was going for and I was really excited to see what he would be like in this movie but he overdid it with his character in my opinion, he sounded WAY too constipated, if he had dialed it down just a bit I would've been okay with it. Overall I still love the Wachowskis and this movie could've been much worse, unfortunately I cannot defend them when you start throwing in George Lucas comparisons, or even M. Night Shyamalan in terms of their falls from grace.
So many reviewers are saying that this is one of those bad movies they'd want to see again. Probably won't be seeing this, but it is making me curious...
"I didn't know what the hell was going on but I had a great time" seems to be THE quote for the movie
Agree with Matt that the ship designs were confusingly samey. As was the laser shield and roller skates (?) Tatum employed way too often.
Alonso's hair looks great. I need Matt's shirt.
I hope you'll do a reaction/discussion vid about the Game of (the ;-P) Thrones season 5 trailer! You did trailer vids before, after all.
looks pretty cool. also looks like Battlefield: Earth though. think i'll just watch Edge of Tomorrow, Oblivion and Elysium again.
All great films but very few modern movies inspire me to re watch them for some reason.
The art design is great. The story is absolutely terrible. Just see any other big space adventure, it'll be better.
King Alistair of Ferelden
There aren't any :(
Helghastl33t Serenity, Star Wars, Guardians of the Galaxy, etc. They're all better. Plus the ones mentioned before, Edge of Tomorrow, Oblivion, or even Elysium. If you really want to play the original better story play the Mass Effect games. It straight up rips off parts from that.
King Alistair of Ferelden
Not in cinemas
Can't blame Alonzo we all have bad movies that we like.
For once it seemed like a critic that went into a movie open minded and enjoyed the ride.
One can nitpick anything
The question on every one's mind: what way does Sean Bean die this time?
After hearing all the bad reviews of this movie, I fully expected to walk out of the theatre thinking that I had just wasted my time. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed it.Imagine my surprise being in the same camp as Alonso! I accepted it for what it was and had fun.
Does Sean Bean die?
My thoughts while watching this trailer: "Can the Wachowskis just make a convoluted Anime, already?"
"You don't expect the Wachowskis to borrow from anybody else"... did she really just say that? The Matrix is lifted entirely from a few comic books, V for Vendetta is based on a comic book, Cloud Atlas is based on a novel, Jupiter Ascending is their first original attempt and it borrows heavily.
Alonso is in a very good mood today!
I love "Cloud Atlas".
I dont agree about the ship designs .... accept Aegis (if that was the name) ... all ships was own by the Abrasax family ... isnt it normal to be similar?
They all came from 1 planet including the Aegis.
Matt make no sense at all. Why should the ships in Jupiter Ascending be different between the Daughter and Sons of the same Queen?
Alonso, you're great and hilarious always, but I think they grabbed the wrong foundation. Am I the only one seeing this? It's a yellowish-tan colour.
I'm sure the Wachowskis didn't ask Redmayne to imitate Ralph Fiennes as Hades in those Titan travesties.
Christy: "You don't expect the Wachowski's to borrow"
... where have you been in the last 15 years Christy?
Matrix = Inspired by Ghost in the Shell
V for Vendetta = Graphic Novel Adaptation
Speed Racer = TV Show Adaptation
Cloud Atlas = Book Adaptation
In fact the last thing I expect is for them to not borrow.
Thanks guys. I also wondered if the release of this & SEVENTH SON coincide with Oscar voting or not. These films demonstrate that J. Moore & E. Redmayne are just working actors like everyone else, and have to take jobs beneath their stature sometimes.
Also, no coincidence that C.Tate's MAGIC MIKE sequel got promo this week. He was great in both 23 JUMP ST. & FOXCATCHER. On a roll...
its not for old folks. this is for scifi/anime lovers. this film is the bomb!
This movie sucked soooo hard.
like i wanted to laugh and cringe at the same time during the whole thing.
i ended up paying money to have a bad time. thats never good.
I cringed the hardest at the end. The story they could have told as opposed to the story they told made me angry. It was an interesting concept that was killed by a shit script and basic movie troupes.
soccerwizard975 exactly. i totally agree.
and yeah the ending was gross. i was pulling my face and burrowing it inside my neck.
and i gasped with excitement as it was all over. its sad i cant get my money back :/
Me too. You can literally point to every element and trace it to what they copy it from. And it's not pulled off as well as any of the original stuff. I stayed the whole time because I paid but still. So bad.
when i watched a pre screening of this, A LOT of people walked out about 30 minutes into the film. also, every time the main bad guy said something (the guy who talked like he couldn't breathe) everyone laughed.
An 8.5, really? How many great movies has Alonso given a shittier score to than this?
SPOILER ALERT :Sean Bean do not die
I want to see it. I have found there are a lot of movies I liked that critics hate and vice versa so to hell with what they have to say.
Ihaven't seen this yet, but Eddie's character reminds me of The Merovingian
I wonder why flim critics exist? I think this movie might be to coplicated for most Americans
I hope BvS is as good as this movie.
My biggest dream is that I will be on the show some time and just listen the other critics arguing, and when anybody asks me for my opinion I admit I didnt watch it. Dat feeling tho
I understood it and really enjoyed it.
Does Ben Mankiewicz ever watch a movie they review ??????
This type of movie coming out in February cannot bode well for the production company.
If this is similar to dune that's cool. I'm thinking about seeing this stoned in Imax. Will it be good stoned?
I think the tiny spaceships look like birds. The wings open and close, like a bird. They don't flap though XD
Alonso darling, that is the wrong shade of make-up...
Is Alonso wearing make-up intended for a different race?
So ben really doesn't do anything anymore
*SPOILER ALERT* I missed a lot of dialogue because my bf was snoring lol. I don't get how she was a princess. Or why evil dude hated and killed his mom. Or why she was created to look like his mom. Or why evil dude's... brother(?) wanted to marry her. But I didn't hate this. It's just pointless and missing something. But it's pretty to look at.
Alonso is the most contrarian movie reviewer on the internet. He will rate bad movies good and good movies bad. Why the fuck do they keep him on?
This movie looks like Battlefield Earth with better effects...
Watching movie reviewers review this kind of movie is always hilarious, Give them a romantic comedy with renowned actors and they'll give it a 8 or more. Give them some action with lot's of special effects with cool details and hate ensues.
The brothers do one thing that most don't do and I'll always enjoy it.
If the bad guys didn't populate the planets to harvest them at the end, all the lives in between would not exist. Food for thought, which is better, never to exist or to exist with a time limit?
Watched it loved it already knew how each of them would respond.
Alonso:
Jupiter Ascending: 8.5
Kingsman: 4
wut
Every time I see the ad for this movie all I can think of is Battlefield Earth.
then ur a morong, who eats tomatoes and thinks they are nuttella.
***** What, praytell, is a "morong"? Is this some foreign language? Or perhaps you are too illiterate to know how to spell basic words correctly.
1:04 Caption: "gonna seeded by bro sex industry roughly 100,000 years ago" Lmao
Oh yea and my sis also said something like this after the movie: "I thought the beginning was bad, until Channing Tatum took off his shirt" LITERALLY SHE SAID THAT
she is meg from family gay
I do like the looks of the Dragonkin... things ,_,
From the trailer alone: Matrix in space
Fifth Element was EPIC
I think this movie was made partially based on the life of Jesus Christ, the savior of mankind. Jesus Ascending.
I'm with you Alonso. It has the makings of a cult classic. Fun and Campy!
Wait... Channing Tatum is a Mawg?
***** Was his name Barf?
Sean Bean doesn't die.
I can't defend this movie in the slightest, it's a bad film but I've got to say it's an absolute blast to watch
This movie was ten times as beautiful as Interstellar with a lot more going on.
It's fine if you liked the movie, but at least have some argument for it. As a reviewer, to simply go, I just liked it!, is pretty weak.
I'm with Alonso on this.
I loved Cloud Atlas though.
How unfortunate it is, when an opportunity to expand ones sense of possibility is met with a resounding tone of ridicule. When you limit your perception of what might be "real" or "possible" you show your level of conscious maturity.
For a group of people that can not answer the 2 most fundamental questions in a humans life; Who am I? And how did I get here? None the less, the truth of human origin. I find it hard to believe that you could even begin to understand the metaphorical depth of that movie.
So in conclusion, reviewers, grow the hell up. You're not monkeys anymore. It's about time you learn a few things about life.
... unless you're content absolutely wasting your life away in font of a movie screen, while learning nothing, because you have no context to put it in.
I know the movie has no real plot so why not enjoy it for the eye candy most of the times when I go to watch these movies I go for the special effects of course it would be a plus if it has a good script.
I didn't care for the film. I thought they were setting up a franchise as well, but the film itself felt like two films in one, one with Lord Prettyboy Doucheface as the villain, and one with Eddie Redmayne as the villain.
Alonso Duralde
Jupiter Ascending ... 8.5
Warcraft ... 1
Bibbiani loved this movie. Gave it a 9/10 on Rotten Tomatoes
Everything in this movie was taken from better things. Harvest from Mass Effect, Lazarus Pit from Batman, Chosen one from well everything, even boots from Shadow the Hedgehog. They even call it the 'verse. Just wow. Just go watch Serenity or play Mass Effect. They're both better.
The trailer reminds me of The Fifth Element
Awesome movie, every comment on this movie is talking bout the great visuals (get the f**K over it) this movie is more than just a movie thrown together, it has almost every mythological story ever told on this planet, in this movie. Sitchin's story of creation is in this, Robert Mornining Sky's ,elders, creation story is in this, the God's from Mount Olympus (as you will see their statues), the Norse Gods, Giants on earth, Annunakii, the lizard people, Angels and the legion, even the channelings of RA- and the Law of one and the harvesting. The greys and how they are the worker bee's of the elite, Mother goddess, Reincarnation, so so much more than can even go into here. Every myth told on this planet about how and where, and why we were created has a part crammed into this 2.5hr movie. Don't get lost in the visuals, there is a great deal of symbolism all over, up in, and hidden within this movie. This movie is actually mind blowing w/ all the symbolism in it.
This looks awesome actually!
An 8.5??? HUH? Where did that come from? Are you sure you saw the same movie as the others? lol
Matrix was nothing but borrowed material...
"owns the universe." The Earth is not the Universe, last time I checked.
Jupiter Ascending was the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater!!! The movie plot made no sense and a confusing storyline. I needed Morgan Freeman to come in and explain everything in two minutes. I was done with it within 20mins.
Wachowskiiiiiiiisssss! What went wrong!?!?
And wouldn't it be interesting if the basic story of the history of Earth, and how humanity came to be, is revealed in this movie. As a way to introduce the truth into the human zeitgeist, before they come. I haven't seen the movie to be sure how much it runs true.
the matrix was a doctor who rip of very little original in it. but very well done
The sequel is obviously going to be called Jupiter Fell Into a Black Hole
I just want them to make another Matrix movie.
Why am I not surprised? When you look at it even Matrix 1 had silly dialogue. Leter they turned it to 200 on steroids, in part 2 and 3. Maybe they should give idea and let real writers do the job? They are kind to shallow and have narrow view of the world.
I enjoyed the movie but this is the first time I agree with yellow shirt skunk beard.
some how i i agree with the review .. i think this is was a bad movie that i have enjoy the allot ..
if they ever get green lighted for the next one i hope is better and they can keep Kunis and kill Tantum
"We've been taught that the birthplace of the human race is earth, but it's not." They lost me right there with this dig at the source of that teaching. Thanks for saving me the ticket money.
I'm going to watch this, even if it is stupid.