"I never cried, I never cried, I let it eat me up inside! Under the light I told a lie, I kept this secret safe inside. No devil hides beneath my bed, he slept with me tonight." This lyric really speaks to me. Its unfortunately something I relate to. Mr. Voltaire, as hard as this song must have been to write, thank you for doing so. It gives the others who have been through it a way of venting, and a way of finding a sort of solace.
After scrolling through the comments and figuring out the meaning behind this song, I see why it resonates with me so much. When I first heard it, I thought it was about some Jekyll and Hyde type of situation or being bipolar. But going back and looking at the lyrics as well, the parts of “I never cried” and “I hit the ceiling” makes so much sense that it hurts. Because I can relate all too well. I hate knowing that this happened to yet another one of my favorite artists. It happens too often.
I have to say, this entire album has a certain allure that's.. well, irreplaceable. It has that certain 'Classic Goth' taste to it that you just don't want to end.
It's kinda weird to say "i love this song" knowing it's meaning and story that led to its creation. But it's a beautiful and strong song and I can't stop listening to it
Such a powerful and beautiful song, despite the awful topic. It must've been hard to write this down, but the end result is great. Feels weird to say this song is good knowing what it is about... I hope you're doing good, mr Voltaire
Not sure if you're still reading comments, but I'm glad you're still performing. My friend and I are planning to go to one of your upcoming concerts, and we're super excited about it. But when I listen to some of your more personal songs like this one, along with some of your more inspirational songs, it's sobering to think of what sort of place they came from. I'm sure you're aware, as this song was released 10 years ago, but I just want to let you know that it's certainly appreciated how you've been able to tackle such topics through your music, which has helped other people who may have been dealing with the same things. I really hope you're doing well, and I look forward to seeing you in concert.
"reborn, yet the child from last year still stands guilty for his 6 odd years of wickedness. The new soul never granted peace nor trust, no where to go for family or friends, they say its his own fault for robing himself his own innocence, for ever unforgiven, he screams and wails knowing this, and nothing else no matter how hard he tries to show he is changed. His parents slam the doors, screaming for silence. He swallowed his pain and his demons, choking and gasping for air or words as only the of the reaper watched him struggle for life from across the bedroom. Years later he learned to stare back, till the storms pass, and some semblance of sanity is pieced together again. Till the storms pass" I actually find it fascinating just how vividly this song described what I went through as a child. In my own case however _I_ was the devil in my own horror story. Up to the age of ten I had done terrible things, much of which was undenounced to my parents, but they learned enough to stop trusting me and fear leaving me alone, especially with my sister. Than one day at the age of ten it was as if I woke up for the first time out of a fog disoriented and mostly oblivious, I was no longer familiar with the me I used to be, and it took some time to understand why my parents disdained me so. Why my own sister seemed to cower from me when I entered the room... It all dawned on me all at once eventually, and as each attempt I made to show I was changed failed, and the hate and fear my parents held against me became stronger and clearer, I fell further and further... I had no one, no friends, or other family, not even class mates or teachers, as I was mostly homeschooled until my parents lost the nerve and put me in public school. I was so terribly isolated and dreadfully aware of what position I was in as a child damned to his own hell long before ever even learning what he had done. Some folks I've trusted enough have theorized I might have acted the way I did because of older abuses that were buried in amnesia... I still do not know for sure, and a part of me is terrified to ever learn what could have prompted me to act as such, what still seems to curl and burn at the toes of my soul even in my adult years. It is my own darkness, pitch and featureless to me for as long as I can remember. Id rather keep trying to make as if I've moved on and left it behind, rather than continue to run through that blank abyss blindly even more. The Darkness has nothing for me other than the potential for wickedness. For me this song is a testament to being isolated with ones nightmares as they gnarl and twist you up inside. I feel bad though, as I am also aware how ultimately senseless and tragic the real origins of this song are, where my own fall was -entirely- partially my fault alone. The song is great and exciting, but in the end it is still every last word I ever uttered as a child in absolute agony alone. And that much I can relate to... Before anyone responds, yes I am already looking for help. And no, I am not at mortal risk to my self, but thank you for considering regardless. There is one thing I admire about the goth crowds and its the affinity to acknowledge pain and trauma and still try to care about each other. Almost everything about it I secretly resonate with, even the general isolation. Its reassuring really ; } PS if it is desired, I may delete this story, it has served its purpose as a moment of expression and venting.
Only heard the very first musical tune, and my face is already melting. I had to type this comment with only 1 hand... (I had a cup of tea in the other one :P)
Quoted in his book, call of the jersey devil. Not what I was expecting when I read the lyrics, however, I find it much more enjoyable to listen to than what I imagined. Nice! I'm happy the actual song is more upbeat and not brooding and slow.
I compare this song to Siouxie and the Banshees's Dazzle, both of them starts a song with a classical tune and then plays with anthem like rock song. Nice!!!!
I'd love to see a playlist intro and song meanings set of videos added to this playlist. I'm sure there are some fascinating stories behind these awesome songs.
Great song I am loving this album Raised by Bats the single is amazing I hope Voltaire keeps up with his monthly Nooseletters haven't seen one posted in a long time :(
This is about being molested right? Because of my friends showed me this song, and when the chorus came he said "This is how i feel". Could be the "i never cried ´" part though, maybe he does not understand the lyrics. But it IS about being molested?
I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you so much for answering, I'll try to find out what he meant. Also, you must be the bravest person i have yet found on the internet.
Sung in a way that doesnt sound as dark along with a charming voice although made some songs sound somehow odd, maybe just me but whatever, great work overall...
@@rexydallas8D It's a song, it means different things to different people at different times, but yes I believe that is how Voltaire meant it while writing.
I could be wrong but is this about someone knowing child molestation is going on but not telling anyone and instead sleeping with them for there own selfish. needs but when the child molester is caught .the person who slept with him is also found out and then asked why they didn't report them.
liam butler well you're still wrong. This song was written about my terrible experiences as a child being molested. In a perfect world I would have been able to have told my parents or some other authority figure... But I was too ashamed and too scared to say anything to anyone. So I kept this awful secret to myself. That... Is what the song is about
voltaire. i have a friend who sais he can relate perfectly to this. He sais its him. He has a lot of problems with himself and his parents. Really, what is this about?
"I never cried, I never cried, I let it eat me up inside! Under the light I told a lie, I kept this secret safe inside. No devil hides beneath my bed, he slept with me tonight." This lyric really speaks to me. Its unfortunately something I relate to. Mr. Voltaire, as hard as this song must have been to write, thank you for doing so. It gives the others who have been through it a way of venting, and a way of finding a sort of solace.
After scrolling through the comments and figuring out the meaning behind this song, I see why it resonates with me so much. When I first heard it, I thought it was about some Jekyll and Hyde type of situation or being bipolar. But going back and looking at the lyrics as well, the parts of “I never cried” and “I hit the ceiling” makes so much sense that it hurts. Because I can relate all too well. I hate knowing that this happened to yet another one of my favorite artists. It happens too often.
I have to say, this entire album has a certain allure that's.. well, irreplaceable. It has that certain 'Classic Goth' taste to it that you just don't want to end.
It's kinda weird to say "i love this song" knowing it's meaning and story that led to its creation.
But it's a beautiful and strong song and I can't stop listening to it
It's a gorgeous sounding song but, once I read the lyrics my heart sank. :'( Praying his abuser is in jail for what he did.
I forget exactly who abused Voltaire do you know?
@@leebulger7112 A family "friend".
@@ofcatsandcrepes2080 That is good enough.
Such a powerful and beautiful song, despite the awful topic. It must've been hard to write this down, but the end result is great. Feels weird to say this song is good knowing what it is about... I hope you're doing good, mr Voltaire
Not sure if you're still reading comments, but I'm glad you're still performing. My friend and I are planning to go to one of your upcoming concerts, and we're super excited about it. But when I listen to some of your more personal songs like this one, along with some of your more inspirational songs, it's sobering to think of what sort of place they came from. I'm sure you're aware, as this song was released 10 years ago, but I just want to let you know that it's certainly appreciated how you've been able to tackle such topics through your music, which has helped other people who may have been dealing with the same things. I really hope you're doing well, and I look forward to seeing you in concert.
"reborn, yet the child from last year still stands guilty for his 6 odd years of wickedness. The new soul never granted peace nor trust, no where to go for family or friends, they say its his own fault for robing himself his own innocence, for ever unforgiven, he screams and wails knowing this, and nothing else no matter how hard he tries to show he is changed. His parents slam the doors, screaming for silence. He swallowed his pain and his demons, choking and gasping for air or words as only the of the reaper watched him struggle for life from across the bedroom. Years later he learned to stare back, till the storms pass, and some semblance of sanity is pieced together again. Till the storms pass"
I actually find it fascinating just how vividly this song described what I went through as a child. In my own case however _I_ was the devil in my own horror story. Up to the age of ten I had done terrible things, much of which was undenounced to my parents, but they learned enough to stop trusting me and fear leaving me alone, especially with my sister. Than one day at the age of ten it was as if I woke up for the first time out of a fog disoriented and mostly oblivious, I was no longer familiar with the me I used to be, and it took some time to understand why my parents disdained me so. Why my own sister seemed to cower from me when I entered the room... It all dawned on me all at once eventually, and as each attempt I made to show I was changed failed, and the hate and fear my parents held against me became stronger and clearer, I fell further and further...
I had no one, no friends, or other family, not even class mates or teachers, as I was mostly homeschooled until my parents lost the nerve and put me in public school. I was so terribly isolated and dreadfully aware of what position I was in as a child damned to his own hell long before ever even learning what he had done. Some folks I've trusted enough have theorized I might have acted the way I did because of older abuses that were buried in amnesia... I still do not know for sure, and a part of me is terrified to ever learn what could have prompted me to act as such, what still seems to curl and burn at the toes of my soul even in my adult years. It is my own darkness, pitch and featureless to me for as long as I can remember. Id rather keep trying to make as if I've moved on and left it behind, rather than continue to run through that blank abyss blindly even more. The Darkness has nothing for me other than the potential for wickedness.
For me this song is a testament to being isolated with ones nightmares as they gnarl and twist you up inside. I feel bad though, as I am also aware how ultimately senseless and tragic the real origins of this song are, where my own fall was -entirely- partially my fault alone. The song is great and exciting, but in the end it is still every last word I ever uttered as a child in absolute agony alone. And that much I can relate to...
Before anyone responds, yes I am already looking for help. And no, I am not at mortal risk to my self, but thank you for considering regardless. There is one thing I admire about the goth crowds and its the affinity to acknowledge pain and trauma and still try to care about each other. Almost everything about it I secretly resonate with, even the general isolation. Its reassuring really ; }
PS if it is desired, I may delete this story, it has served its purpose as a moment of expression and venting.
I hope you find peace and I hope you find it in this lifetime and not have to wait until the next.
@@TheLairofVoltaire Amen
I'm just listening to the whole album, each song gets better than the last one
One day Voltaire will tell us what the word "Lyics" means i'm sure ;)
He's clearly using a Brooklyn accent for it.
God dammit! LOL! I've fixed it. ha!
Gamefreak2998 One day you will check the description
Voltairous Guy you did see you are replying to a three-years-old comment, right?
@@waves_under_stars Better late than never! :)
Only heard the very first musical tune, and my face is already melting.
I had to type this comment with only 1 hand... (I had a cup of tea in the other one :P)
Quoted in his book, call of the jersey devil. Not what I was expecting when I read the lyrics, however, I find it much more enjoyable to listen to than what I imagined. Nice! I'm happy the actual song is more upbeat and not brooding and slow.
This is very relatable. My favorite Voltaire Song, for that reason, and I still love "Almost Human."
omfg I haven't listened to Voltaire in forever!!!! this is just amazing!!
I compare this song to Siouxie and the Banshees's Dazzle, both of them starts a song with a classical tune and then plays with anthem like rock song. Nice!!!!
I'd love to see a playlist intro and song meanings set of videos added to this playlist. I'm sure there are some fascinating stories behind these awesome songs.
Listening all these songs while playing dark souls 2 is great.
i have to do that now
Great song I am loving this album Raised by Bats the single is amazing I hope Voltaire keeps up with his monthly Nooseletters haven't seen one posted in a long time :(
Wow, Villy Bats sure can write a good song.
You're amazing! this is my favorite one on this album-
awesome album
This song is so unfortunately relatable to me. 😢 but thank you for making it.
I'm actually kind of glad he never fixed the spelling. A wonderful song again. :)
This part around 3:20... it sounds just like "The Phantom of the Opera". :-D
new favorite song
This has got to be my fave album from you I swear
this song makes my think about horrible things from childhood. gawddammit Voltaire, gawddammit....
Sounds good!!!!!
This is about being molested right? Because of my friends showed me this song, and when the chorus came he said "This is how i feel". Could be the "i never cried ´" part though, maybe he does not understand the lyrics. But it IS about being molested?
Yes, unfortunately, this song is about my experiences with having been molested as a child.
I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you so much for answering, I'll try to find out what he meant.
Also, you must be the bravest person i have yet found on the internet.
@@TheLairofVoltaire That's so sad. :(
Dayum Voltaire my babe
Sung in a way that doesnt sound as dark along with a charming voice
although made some songs sound somehow odd, maybe just me but whatever, great work overall...
Man, I had no idea what this song was about until now.
Death never had such a pleasant sound
Somebody, please, explain this song for me! I dont understand it :C
5 years later, here's your explanation.
Voltaire turned his experience with being molested as a child into a song.
Description
This feels like the end of ur songs
NEVER, NEVER!
This shit slaps hard,I like it
Castlevania ish song 🎵❤❤🧡
yey, another song o/
Are there any videos with the band ?
Have you sung this live?
💗💗
What does "Lyics" means ?
Text
LordZeebee He/She's joking about how Volt spelled it wrong in the title. But honestly, who gives a shit? This is fucking awesome, as is all his stuff.
Oh Jesus Jesus Jesus. It's about rape/sexual abuse, isn't it?
Powerful song, definitely one of your best.
Well I took a more literal approach seeing is as a psychotic vampire, but I can see where you're coming from.
I think it is about someone who slept with a Succubus or a Incubus. :)
I thought it was about PTSD.
@@silenntking6414 It's about his experiences being molested as a child.
@@rexydallas8D It's a song, it means different things to different people at different times, but yes I believe that is how Voltaire meant it while writing.
i love instrumental :D
I could be wrong but is this about someone knowing child molestation is going on but not telling anyone and instead sleeping with them for there own selfish. needs but when the child molester is caught .the person who slept with him is also found out and then asked why they didn't report them.
liam butler Well..... you're wrong. That's not what it's about.
liam butler well you're still wrong. This song was written about my terrible experiences as a child being molested. In a perfect world I would have been able to have told my parents or some other authority figure... But I was too ashamed and too scared to say anything to anyone. So I kept this awful secret to myself. That... Is what the song is about
The Lair of Voltaire I geuss I'm meant to reply with some surportful words but I don't no what to say
voltaire. i have a friend who sais he can relate perfectly to this. He sais its him. He has a lot of problems with himself and his parents. Really, what is this about?
:D songs!
Is this about infidelity?
me when i get married
Not advised. I think this song was made as a tribute to rape victims.
The Night would be much better. It literally states bride in the song.
is this song about rape?
Night terrors from something bad happening before it seems.
Pretty sure he is talking about being molested as a child and the nightmares that came to him when he got older.
Dwinosi Shadowsteel That's how I took it...and how it's emotionally hit me, wow. Especially "No devil hides beneath my bed, he slept with me tonight."