How To Make Sure Young People Never Leave Your Church [Gen Z]
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- Опубліковано 13 лис 2018
- Young people are leaving church at an alarming rate.
So what can your church do about it?
How can you make sure that young people never leave your church?
Simply stated, there’s one thing you should be focusing on more than anything else
It isn’t more extravagant lighting or stage design. And it isn’t a haze-filled auditorium.
In fact, this one thing couldn’t be more different from those types of aims.
The best part?
We’ve actually got real data from churches on how this one thing makes a difference. And in this video, I’ll share with you what that one thing is.
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Some effective ways: stop hating on the gays and women (& apologize), check hypocrisy, and acknowledge at least some science. (full disclosure: this is advice from a gen z atheist, but I'd like to say it'd still be effective) On another note, it's quite refreshing and honestly a bit startling to hear you two talk. I never had the "hip and with the kids" youth pastor when I used to go to church, and it's a lot easier to listen to you guys.
Most Christians don’t hate gays. Just because the media puts a magnifying glass on churches like Westboro Baptist doesn’t mean the rest of us reflect the strawman.
Studies actually show that Gen Z is the most conservative any generation has ever been at this age, so, to your point about what churches “need to do.”
Going woke is almost a sure fire way to alienate Gen Z now and in the future
Amen
@@icebough4191 While your statement is probably true: MOST churches don't take a stance on welcoming gays. MOST churches don't allow gays to marry in their sanctuary. Not talking about an issue is no longer an effective policy.
Kyle From The Wood I personally agree with Josh. We haven’t, as the Church universal, effectively put out to John Q. Public an accurate portrayal of how many Christians there are that love and embrace the lbtgq community. Despite where you fall on squaring homosexuality with Scripture, I have labored hard looking for Wisdom on this major issue that became very personal, very fast and I was thankful for finally finding clarity. I was also made to be aware of my sin of keeping gay people,subconsciously, at arms length. I thought I had been accepting of them, but upon close examination of my heart and theology, I had a long way to go. I have since then softened my heart, seeing each person as simply a child of God that needs to feel true heart to heart connection. To seek to be a healer and let God deal with his children one on one. I don’t have the burden of wrestling with the issue. My only concern is to show love.
In the interest of transparency, I have a gay sister whom I love with no bounds and who has had her authentic Salvation experience and tries to walk it everyday. She is not plugged into a Church, too many wounds from other Churches has caused her to be gun shy. She is married to her partner and they have a beautiful daughter both of whom I love to death.
I also have 4 sons, 1 of which is bisexual that is a loosely guarded secret.
Having to face this issue while i was much younger and zealous. I’ve been a church planter since college where I placed my highest personal value on being an authentic man. Which led me to wrestle hard on this issue and once I found clarity it was not my job anymore to 'fix' her, I only have to have as authentic a love as I can for her. Since my newly settled heart our relationship has become way deeper than it would have otherwise and she now has the security of our relationship to give her courage to tackle life less painfully.
Kyle From The Wood The Churches without a settled policy on gay attendance/service/leadership are way behind and are hurting people yet unseen. It is a tough issue, but everyone else in the West has already adopted theirs. Theologically it is complicated sifting out if they can be attenders vs in leadership vs Pastoral. But for us as everyday Christians, I see the issue clearly; we are to pour out our lives to them unconditionally.
The best way is not to allow them to think critically. That is it. Once I allowed myself to question things...really question things. I left. This feeling thing will only work for a while...but stifle critical thinking and you have them always.
That's pretty wrong. I'm a very critical thinker and I am a computer scientist by trade. I wanted to get a theology degree and in our church we study Bible with the historical-critica method in which we try to understand the text with all its attributes and in a very academic way. That is working wonders.
@@dwychgihc that's a very good question and the honest answer is always no by definition. If we consider God as The Other, outside of existence, time and matter then human mind and consciousness, bound by those things, is by definition incapable of defining what is beyond these things. The thing is: lots of things we do today are beyond a precise definition but our models, approximations, are good enough. So that's how we deal with God or the concept of divinity, like everything else, we build a mental model or an approximation which is workable enough. We do something similar when dealing with complex systems, for example, or our model of standard physics. Good enough for practical uses but not entirely precise as you asked.
@@dwychgihc I was trying to answer a much more complicated question than the one it now seems you really asked. Sorry for that. That is on me.
I'd say a good definition of God is what the old Greeks and Romans understood as Primus Movens, The Immovable Mover or what we call today First Cause.
This is a philosophical idea which posits there must be a cause before all causes. Considering a finite universe in time and space, God would be the reason of the beginning and that which has initiated the whole movement. Understand here that the God most everyday Christians talk about is not exactly what I'm talking about here since most Christians do not delve into deep thinking about faith or metaphysics.
From the First Cause, we can then conjecture some attributes for it like capacity for action, execution, planning and will considering as premise the whole Christian thing about the universe being creation and from the attributes of the universe itself, we can derive an understanding of God.
Is this scientific? Surely not but anything that is beyond time and space, and as such immeasurable, is by definition beyond scientific analysis. That is not a problem in the part of science because science itself is not made to evaluate that which is itself outside of what can be observed.
What I was trying to say at first is that any definition we come up with is incomplete when the object of our definition is something beyond our realm of experience by definition.
You sure can disagree from the premises and that's completely ok.
@@dwychgihc it is a question of nuance as you've said. When I read "precise", I thought about 100% without flaws. If that's the definition, then we could come up with a good software if his uncertainty is like 1% of the idea. 99% of the idea is good enough but it's not 100% flawless precise.
@@dwychgihc and that's ok 😁.
No issues. Have a good evening.
Absolutely love this message!
This really sits home. Thanks guys for sharing this essential truth about relationship
This is such relevant content. So good!
These videos are soooo good! I love it bc it really makes me think and analyze things. Thank you, thank you so so much 🙏🏻🙌🏻👏🏻
Thank you for watching!
Very cool message that needs to spread to church leaders!!!
The church is now actually just overdoing things like dressing and looking like worldly rock stars, its just not what is needed. People come to church looking for a way out and then when thwy come they find what they ahve just left in the world now in the church.. I agree with what you said that its not the cooler lights and stage set up but relationship.. which directs to Christ..
Thank you for this insight. Valuable - as usual.
🙏
Up until 1990s, if a church member or a family started to attend less frequently, someone from the church (minister, membership committee, etc.) would call to see if there was a concern. Maybe it was unhappiness with the minister. Maybe it was a sick family member, someone having to work weekends, or a kid starting a sport with competitions on Sunday mornings.
Churches don't do that anymore. One year, my family skipped church all summer, because the summer schedule didn't mesh with visiting my mother (she was in assisted living due to dementia). No one at church ever called.
My son skipped youth fellowship last school year, after being a regular in middle school. The youth pastor never contacted him or us.
Millennials want to feel connected, but so do Gen X and Baby Boomers.
Great observation Kent! We all want to know that our presence (or lack thereof ) is noticed and meaningful. :)
I think part of the issue is on the one hand, some people come to church with an expectation that they have unlimited access to their pastors and that the pastors should be reaching out to them personally.
I think churches should really be focused on helping people in their congregation connect with other members and new people. Through service projects, fun activities, small groups, activity based small groups, and have a team of volunteers who can make those personal connections when someone is missing.
This ain’t an exhaustive list by any means
Thanks to the rise of the mega-church, a head pastor or one of his 20 co-pastors just don't have the time to pay attention to individuals. How's that for a wonderful counselor.
And that’s why I don’t give out my phone number. If I stopped going to an organization for a few weeks and then got a “concerned” call I would immediately block that number and never go anywhere near said organization again.
@@duckhawkninja3614 Think of a phone call from church like a vendor who contacts a customer, when the customer hasn't ordered for a while. Has the customer's business declined? Has the vendor been delivering defective merchandise? Has a competitor been undercutting prices?
For every person whose attendance declines because of some annoyance (don't like a new pastor, changing service times, etc.), it could be an inordinate amount of business travel or a kid's soccer season.
About 10 years ago, we didn't go to church all summer. The early service had no Sunday Schhol for grade schoolers. Our son could not sit through a service. My mother had dementia, and her disposition went down after late morning.
To me, it made no sense to just ignore our lack of attendance.
Great Video! What was the strategy to Millennials that didn't quite hit the mark? The Concert type, program focused youth services? I do agree with the missing ingredient though, been noticing that "trend" a lot in my sphere of youth ministry.
very relevant!!
y'all are two crazy weirdos, but I LOVE it! Thanks for making things make sense and helping us all with church comms. You do you :)
We love YOU! Thanks for being one of our favourite supporters Jeanette! 😊
Can we take a step back and put ourselves in the shoes of the youth?
I have four kids who range from adult to elementary.
One of the things that my children have expressed about church is that it feels like a classroom.
My kids are home schooled so that’s saying a lot!
Why do churches copy a public school system of teaching Gods Word?
I can only imagine what the kids who go to school all week are going through.
Actually I know because I went to 13 different schools and was not raised as a Christian.
Kids wake up at 6: a.m. early morning walking to school or riding the bus.
Then they’re in a boring monologue lecture type classroom with 35 plus other kids.
Most are experiencing major dysfunctional lives, a sick grandparent, loss of a loved one, alcoholism, drugs, non involvement in the child’s special interests, divorce, etc.
Public school curriculum teaches kids that their is no God!
Many kids are left to raise themselves or survive an environment which is over stimulated on social media, sex, violence in music & TV, and a boatload of homework that the teachers cram down their overwhelmed overworked brains.
So it’s seven hours of school work +4 hours of homework!
Why do we think we would want our youth to be forced to sit and listen to a youth pastor monologue after he’s been pouring over the scriptures all day long?
It’s as though they are in another lecture after being in school all day.
Sometimes the kids are there because mom and dad make them go.
Unfortunately, the parents serve serve serve for position, climbing church ladders because of unhealthy church politics that have been developing within the flock.
Some kids begin to despise church because it took away their parents.
Mom and dad work 10 hours a day, then serve at church all week and by the time they get home they’re too tired to be involved in the child’s life.
Family life gets hectic and non stop. There’s sports, shopping, friends, movies, family, yet no time for God at home. No balance.
Then there are the kids that are simply at church for their friends.
That’s normal, but sometimes there are unhealthy relationships at church and the parents are too busy serving and unhealthy relationships develop right under their noses, and the kids end up getting into trouble together.
I think the youth is tired of the country club church atmosphere where there are superstar Christians who are treated better than the nobody.
Also, the church may not even be equipped for all of the dysfunction going on in our world today.
God does not live in a box and he likes to work in mysterious ways.
Some great observations!
If you want to know why church for kids us structured like a school, you can blame John Wesley. He devised the concept of Sunday School. At least that is what I learned in United Methodist Sunday school.
I understand how kids hate being lectured about the Bible. My former pastor said that lecturing is far easier than trying to foster a discussion among middle school and high school students. So, a youth pastor has to be creative and willing to spend the time to prepare youth fellowship.
A church needs a really good Christian Ed. director who can devise a curriculum that is fun, let's younger kids learn about the Bible and faith, and doesn't feel like a 6th day of school.
Kent Frederick 6th Day of school is right. And can we agree that it’s not only the church’s job? Parents are the number one influence within a child’s life, good or bad.
@@M54JC I agree that parents are the biggest influence. But, a church has problems, when a kid would rather stay home on a Sunday morning and do homework, rather than go to Sunday School. Our former youth pastor spent mornings lecturing and writing on a white board, while the middle school kids were bored to tears. It got so bad that Sunday School for grades 7 and higher was canceled because of low attendance. Other parents said the same thing, that the youth pastor preferred to lecture to kids, rather than engage them in relevant topics.
So what’s your solution? A lot of complaining, but no solution. ..?
Hey, I need help seeking some tech for translating. I go to a Spanish church and I’m always having to translate. How can I do this efficiently?
I've watched about a dozen of your videos and would give you two awards: The Best Video Series Featuring a Man Bun and Best Video Series on Practical, Understandable, Genuinely Helpful Stuff for Churches. You may take pride in either or both. Keep up the great work.
We'll take it! Thanks David. :)
LOL! True!
The title of this video is a little ominous, but I’m listening. 😂
"We Fixed the Mics" HAHAHA Thanks for that!
Just for you, Blake 👌
True. Thanks.
Thanks for watching!
People just want to be loved on. In reflecting on Resurrection, maybe we are doing the first works, you know.
Everybody wants love.
loved on?
In my experience, there is a big problem with youth not making a personal commitment, sometimes made worse by artificial rules that you can't get baptised until you are 18. Teenagers need personal faith and to understand the importance of church in their Christian lives.
Relationship with God is for everyone - regardless of age (or any other "rule"). That's the whole message of Jesus. This is the good news!
12 string, so classic for those from a past era :)
SO classic 😂
6 and a half years of attendance and active ministry with the homeless in my city and I'm ready to leave. The Christian church in the US has proven itself ineffective in building one another up. I gave so much and when I need people the most I'm given short answers and "we just prayed it away, your struggle is gone now" attitude with prayer. I'm alone in a room full of people, and it isn't enough to live with only Christ, even Paul while in prison had more connection with others in the faith.
“and it isn’t enough to live with only Christ” agreed
Gooooooooooooooooood!
If a church has a lackluster youth ministry, it turns off teenagers. Teenagers, being stupid, then won't come back, if and when a church brings in a new youth minister. They make up their minds that youth fellowship is lame and won't check out the program after changes. That leads to the lack of interest in attending church after high school.
I also think if church members have unrealistic expectations of youth, it turns off youth and parents. I know a lot of people at my church who think youth, pre-school through high school, should sing in a choir. So, if a kid doesn't sing (bad voice, focused on an instrument, plays a sport, etc.), he or she feels like an outsider. Parents get tired of being asked why a kid isn't in choir. So, the kid loses interest in church, and parents feel like other members look down on them and stop attending.
Great points Kent! Celebrating some skills as more valuable than others can definitely cause people (or students) without those skills to feel less important.
The hardest part of watching someone leave religion is seeing their pain as they realize all the time they have wasted and things they have taken for granted.
If there was an after life, is it young you, middle age you, or old you? They all will have different goal and values. How are you supposed to be happy knowing some of your friends and family are "burning" if that is also a thing? While the idea is a comforting lie if you do not think of it much, the idea really makes no sense.
The teachings of Jesus primarily emphasize two core principles: worshipping God and practicing the golden rule of treating others as oneself would wish to be treated, such as his examples of kindness and charity. Following Jesus' teachings requires adhering to the commands about honoring the higher power, as this is a directive from that power itself and affirmed by jesus. Reducing his teachings to only being about kindness is to overlook half of his message. Christians fail to abide by these teachings and either ignore the rest or lack any kind of consensus among them regarding the specifics of these rules.
Religion is gasping its last breaths, and figures like Peterson are administering the lethal dose. In the Muslim faith, the term 'kafir' (often equated with atheism) serves to ostracize the outsider. Yet such labels invariably turn inward, becoming weapons against those within the faith who dare to dissent. In their eagerness to take on atheism, some theists shift their stance, only to find themselves at odds with their own brethren over what their faith even means. All religions are the same this way, it is basic tribalism. You do not need an imaginary, abusive friend to see the wisdom in kindness and selflessness. Making the world better for others makes it better for one's self. The irony is, every inadequate answer given to a questioning believer strengthens our cause. Religious adherence is crumbling, not because of science's triumph, but because its own contradictions and failed answers are tearing it apart. ua-cam.com/video/QN7kmVjUGZA/v-deo.html
1 stop being hateful and homophobic (bigotry is the main reason why young people like me left)
2 provide evidence for your claims
This above is THE most important one really , you'd not only get young people but also adults who are atheists , because that's all atheists ask for , evidence.
Thanks for watching, and leaving a comment with your top 2 suggestions!
Best laugh ever! 2:07
🤣
How would you encourage older generations to engage with the youth?
you need a catholic priest they will explain
It is expected that people leave the Church. You do not change the Word to suit the trends of the times. The Word is the Word, you take it or leave it.
Do you think this is lacking in congregations because people want to have a silver bullet they can buy instead of live out? One of the big reasons I'm not only in church, but also a pastor, is that this geeky bullied kid was accepted and loved at church.
I think you hit it right on the head, Sean.
I totally agree with you. If it wasn't for two specific adults in the church I grew up in (one about 10 years older, the other at least 20 years older), I probably would not be in church today. They helped me see that this is a life to live, not an emotion or activity to do a couple times a week.
We should really just teach the younger people how to submit to the general society.
Haze auditorium does help though
😏
As a youth pastor, I am finding that working with late millennial and Gen z students, you can no longer WOW students to come to youth group. There is nothing we can do to be cooler and spectacular that will bring them in and keep them there. I am totally on board with these conclusions. Its al about the 1 on 1, or VERY small group relationship with an adult and students.
You got it, Kris. They never needed to be "wow'd", they've always just needed relationship.
For some young people, especially atheists, it doesn't matter what you do. They don't believe in or even like Christianity so they will reject any attempts at bonding and friendship by anyone connected to Christianity and it's evangelism. They see your agenda and want no part of it.
I left
what if the reasons why they are leaving church could be because there is so little actual fellowship? there is more focus on church services than people, so they dont have time for each other. the only ones that connect are those that fit in. if well seasoned believers dont need church services, but are in need of fellowship, the church cannot meet that need. perhaps young people are awakening to the reality that churches are more concerned about getting people to fill the pews so that they can endorse the celebrity stars of the show more than getting to know the actual people. and, maybe more importantly, just maybe its actually God causing an awakening in the youth to get them out of the institutional churches and keep them safe from false teachers? i know, right? we never considered that maybe its actually a way for God to keep people safe.
Thanks from Ukraine!)
🙏
Sounds a bit naïve? The main reason younger people are leaving the church is because of science and politics.
Yes. Well said. Young people like the GOP less and less every year, and evangelicals have welded themselves to the GOP. We’re all seeing why the framers wanted religion out of government, but a big part of it was to protect religion.
We have those usy cliques. Inside the clique you will probably move along to Hillel in college. Kept external to the clique while the youth director and Rabbi watch, college becomes Judaism's exit ramp. True for me in 1960s. Still true today.
Suffis to say….
Let the confused leave and the genuine remain. It's better for the few genuine practitioners to be role models in their faith in a smaller church than to have many doubting people live dishonestly with themselves in a large church and carry strange doctrine.
I don't disagree with this assertion, but there is one thing that is blaringly missing and this is solid Biblical Truth being taught is even more important.
What the Fuck
Read your Bible. You have to go back to one of that thing that is not preach in the churches the youth group need. There is a heaven and there is a hell. The gospel must be preach and this is what missing in your church. Not need young people you have to encourage them but they need. The gospel abusers crash that they are going to hell unless. They know Jesus Christ, either Lord and save and not playing guitar up. There are drums or whatever sing to a 3 hand and preach the gospel. And I guarantee the people will come
No podras hacer nada, la iglesia ya no tiene fundamento en estas generaciones
You don't try to act like Jesus, you don't try to talk like Jesus, you don't even teach the message of Jesus. Jesus's message was feed the poor, be compassionate, be tolerant. Pastors act more like a business executive. You seriously don't think you're young people see this? Maybe you need to do some soul-searching and read the words of Jesus not the words of Paul. So when Buddhists act more like Jesus than Christians do, why would anybody believe that you are saved by Jesus. Quit fantasizing about your eternal life in Paradise to start focusing on this world that has so many problems.
Idk know about the tolerant part
Gen Z and Millennials are leaving the church because Gen X and Boomers are Lukewarm Christians. Teach Millennials and Gen Z that Love is also Suffering and challenging. Teach the true meaning of Christ and The Sacrifice of Love. When We are moved radically by the Holy spirit to do scary things for God. Don't try to shut us down. Encourage us to do the things that lead us to sacrificial love. Those things that require us to do what is right and not easy. Matthew 10:22
Young people by a huge margin found Trump to be repulsive, evil, and diametrically opposed to everything they value. Evangelicals supported Trump fervently. Lie down with pigs and you’ll get dirty.