That Was Mine! | Warhammer 40k Meme Dub

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  • Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
  • Who knew the Black Templars could count?
    Don't worry we love all factions here! (Yes, even the Tau)
    #shorts #memes #warhammer40kmeme #warhammer40k #warhammermemes #voicedub

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,2 тис.

  • @lichkean
    @lichkean  4 місяці тому +10433

    Thank you for all the love on the silly video this one really blew up thanks for enjoying, sharing and subcribing it has really been crazy

    • @dandycrow2821
      @dandycrow2821 4 місяці тому +21

      Can someone explain to me what's happening here?

    • @Wally480
      @Wally480 4 місяці тому +64

      ​​@@dandycrow2821 15 hours is the average life span of a gaurdsman.
      He let him have it because he was probably about to die lol

    • @sojanarne
      @sojanarne 4 місяці тому +15

      ​@@Wally480i mean, thats the joke but technically it only in lore actually applies to one battle, in one campaign. But yes, precisely!

    • @Wally480
      @Wally480 4 місяці тому +5

      @sojanarne oh... lol yeah there's definitely a lot about 40k I'm unaware of. 🙂

    • @davidvoler3561
      @davidvoler3561 3 місяці тому

      ​@@Wally480.

  • @unnamedvisitor1649
    @unnamedvisitor1649 4 місяці тому +59207

    "Congratulations. You've outlived over 99% of your workforce. Try your best to keep it up."

    • @st-6837
      @st-6837 4 місяці тому +733

      The Black Templar was seen dead on the ground with a lasgun plunge on it's neck

    • @njennett8005
      @njennett8005 4 місяці тому

      And then the guardsman woke up.​@@st-6837

    • @Basementguywtm
      @Basementguywtm 4 місяці тому +172

      I thought I commented here before lol

    • @randomgaming9445
      @randomgaming9445 4 місяці тому +276

      So to be clear, the fodder soldiers are expected to live for about five minutes yes?

    • @im_m3
      @im_m3 4 місяці тому

      Yes​@@randomgaming9445

  • @GoodGirlLuna3
    @GoodGirlLuna3 4 місяці тому +78293

    My man. Standing up to a Black Templar and claiming the kill. He's either gonna get a promotion for his insane balls or get turned to mist for his insane balls, but still.

    • @howard5755
      @howard5755 4 місяці тому +3187

      Balls are Balls. Confirmed he is in possession of them lol

    • @watdaduckfuk
      @watdaduckfuk 4 місяці тому +469

      Honestly considering he's probably already a Kasrkin looking at his armor, definitely promoted to an officer.

    • @ghostbearr1
      @ghostbearr1 4 місяці тому +1034

      I know it is not cannon, but I would love it if this was the first conversation between Commissar Yarrick and Chaplain Grimaldus.

    • @x.Lion.x
      @x.Lion.x 4 місяці тому +85

      Gremlin

    • @johnblackford5584
      @johnblackford5584 4 місяці тому +173

      It's a trophy either way for he shall be remembered

  • @CraigBeards
    @CraigBeards 4 місяці тому +77005

    15 hours being the average lifespan for a newly deployed guardsman 😉😉

    • @lichkean
      @lichkean  4 місяці тому +4310

      100% XD

    • @CraigBeards
      @CraigBeards 4 місяці тому +2208

      One of my fave novellas too “Fifteen Hours”

    • @noha112
      @noha112 4 місяці тому +1187

      Thanks for explaining the most overused joke from 40k

    • @vothbetilia4862
      @vothbetilia4862 4 місяці тому +599

      Pretty sure it's only in that one novel against the Orks, the rest is memes.

    • @srdodojedi3749
      @srdodojedi3749 4 місяці тому +446

      That fact only applied in broucheroc
      Where the estimated lifespan of reinforcements was 15 hours.
      200 guardsmen got deployed and more than half of them died in the landing

  • @talleywa5772
    @talleywa5772 4 місяці тому +27143

    Good news, you impressed a black templar.
    Bad news, you impressed a black templar.

    • @Morningstar-qb1yv
      @Morningstar-qb1yv 4 місяці тому +603

      How bad could it be?

    • @beebobee5361
      @beebobee5361 4 місяці тому +1092

      ​@@Morningstar-qb1yv Chainsword goes vrrrrmmmmmmnnn

    • @dynomight3855
      @dynomight3855 4 місяці тому +367

      *Linkin Loyalists blasting in thebackground*

    • @jeff8833
      @jeff8833 4 місяці тому

      I had a rogue trader that sacrificed himself and his personal security retinue to rescue 6 BTs in stasis from a warp cursed hulk.
      As the last wave of warp spawned mutants crashed upon our makeshift defense the Seneschal overloaded the power cells in the heavy last cannon to kill a behemoth amalgam of flesh and heresy. The captain stood up on toppled shipping containers and shouted litanies of hate against the mutants and demons. Blood tainted the stale stale air and as the last transport left the hanger three behemoths prodded a wave of ravenous mutant lunatics before them.
      Captain Archibold Venatas ordered his ship to target his position with macro battery fire. Shells drove deep into the bowls of the ship below them, ripping into magazines long forgotten. The raging inferno heaved the crew into the void.
      Several days later Captain Archibold awoke aboard a Black Templar Emperor class battleship with a new eye, a new leg and a new arm. Half of his loyal warriors survived. The legends of the fearless human echoed across the Jericho reach. Legend that there was a human to whom the Black Templars owed not one, but six life debts to.

    • @BytesizeCookies
      @BytesizeCookies 4 місяці тому +928

      ​@@Morningstar-qb1yv the last time some Guardsmen impressed them, they had those guardsmen turned into servitors.

  • @kordell8057
    @kordell8057 4 місяці тому +13822

    "i like this one. Can i keep him"

  • @FlameBinder55
    @FlameBinder55 4 місяці тому +34900

    That guardsman has to have the biggest steel balls to claim a kill from a Black Templar, respect.

    • @midwesternmoron9444
      @midwesternmoron9444 4 місяці тому +787

      The black Templar was prolly more surprised and like f it he balls for the Emperor

    • @starhammer5247
      @starhammer5247 4 місяці тому +506

      It's a reference to a novel where the average lifespan of a Guardsman was 15 hours.

    • @assfucker6997
      @assfucker6997 4 місяці тому

      imagine if he became a Space Marine though, the power of the balls to do that, plus the power of a Space Marine

    • @derkrischa3720
      @derkrischa3720 4 місяці тому +33

      Big Andrej energie here!

    • @TheThing4444
      @TheThing4444 4 місяці тому +51

      What can the Guardsman even do to him? He has no reason to be a afraid.

  • @koboldsage9112
    @koboldsage9112 4 місяці тому +5618

    Templar; you're a funny little guy. Tell you what, you're my new side kick. Reload my bolter.

    • @curtiswags3688
      @curtiswags3688 3 місяці тому +118

      A bog standard guardsmen couldn't lift a bolter let alone reload it

    • @nullpoint3346
      @nullpoint3346 3 місяці тому +146

      ​@@curtiswags3688 I think that's part of the joke.

    • @curtiswags3688
      @curtiswags3688 3 місяці тому +58

      @@chromaticturtle8657 imagine knowing weapon weights and then using it as an insult, tell your mum i said hi yea, basement feeder

    • @hounsdjentlow3074
      @hounsdjentlow3074 3 місяці тому

      😂😂😂😂😂 oooo that was a good one ​@@chromaticturtle8657

    • @curtiswags3688
      @curtiswags3688 3 місяці тому

      @@chromaticturtle8657 your deffo a nonce

  • @CrimsonGuard1992
    @CrimsonGuard1992 4 місяці тому +20060

    He is brave for standing up to a Black Templar

    • @frankficcle7081
      @frankficcle7081 4 місяці тому +143

      Brave or stupid?

    • @VerbuggterHerrderDunkelheit
      @VerbuggterHerrderDunkelheit 4 місяці тому +223

      He had 1 minute left to live,

    • @thebighurt2495
      @thebighurt2495 4 місяці тому +257

      Templars are sons of Dorn. They respect gumption.

    • @paskoracer_4644
      @paskoracer_4644 4 місяці тому +24

      ​@@frankficcle7081 both

    • @Jamhael1
      @Jamhael1 4 місяці тому +153

      Its not the bravery, but the PRIDE - I don't care if the one making the claim is a Sororitas, an Astartes, a Custodes, or even Roboute Guilliman. I am a Guardsman who made all the effort, and therefore, the kill is MINE, EMPEROR DAMNIT!

  • @thc_freebaser
    @thc_freebaser 4 місяці тому +1740

    The idea of an Astartes being petty enough to bicker with some random guardsman over who got the kill is way too amusing to me.

    • @magnusavidon982
      @magnusavidon982 3 місяці тому +51

      Especially a Templar lol

    • @midgetydeath
      @midgetydeath 3 місяці тому +1

      For something that sounds like an impressive kill, he probably would.

    • @AxiomofDiscord
      @AxiomofDiscord 3 місяці тому +55

      Many Astartes are written as being petty more so in the leadership. To be fair less common with Templar.

    • @williammitchell2046
      @williammitchell2046 2 місяці тому +17

      and they they had the best love hate bromance in the entire chapter. high points include a missing limb, a severed achilles tendon, 32 seperate counts of eye gouging, and one single incident that i can only describe as a 'chaos fueled multi planetary bar brawl'

    • @P1_384
      @P1_384 Місяць тому +2

      Not Astartes.

  • @stevengreen9536
    @stevengreen9536 4 місяці тому +3177

    Black Templar: 15 hrs. not bad. I have been on deployment for three centuries. But since i am the veteran i will graciously let you claim the kill.

    • @joshuaalampay3783
      @joshuaalampay3783 4 місяці тому +124

      If u notice he started counting, bros gonna have the kill in a minute lmao

    • @TheVocalTune
      @TheVocalTune 4 місяці тому +24

      They can live for centuries?!

    • @stevengreen9536
      @stevengreen9536 4 місяці тому +75

      @TheVocalTune Provided they are not killed in battle. Remember Astartes receive the same kind of life extending augmentation as the nobility and the High Lords of Terra themselves.

    • @collindouglas8188
      @collindouglas8188 3 місяці тому +6

      What an incel tbh.

    • @affegpus4195
      @affegpus4195 3 місяці тому +31

      ​@@TheVocalTune Everything in 40k is measured with an extra 0.

  • @Randomguy419b
    @Randomguy419b 4 місяці тому +6468

    And the chaos gods heard this and decided that this guardsman is going to outlive that black templar. Like 500 years later, that guardsman is going to be some planetary governor, and that black Templar is going to see and go. "By the God Emperor's shiny balls, how are you still alive?"

    • @StarForgers
      @StarForgers 4 місяці тому +342

      Considering the state of the emperors body I wouldn't be surprised if the bag was full of holes and the jewles and pipes fell through. 😅

    • @kyosokutai
      @kyosokutai 4 місяці тому +171

      Rejuvination treatments son of Dorn, they harden in response to aging!

    • @mattc.3483
      @mattc.3483 4 місяці тому +184

      That could be a pretty cool story idea. The same templar and guardsman running into each other over the centuries...

    • @drecaine646
      @drecaine646 4 місяці тому +50

      This is better writing then rings of powrrr 💀

    • @Fairwhite195
      @Fairwhite195 4 місяці тому +162

      This actually happened. A White Scars astartes gave a guardswoman a blood transfusion, and his blood supercharged the guardswoman so much that she lived for centuries. She outlived 5 husbands and became planetary governor.

  • @the_happy_orange
    @the_happy_orange 2 місяці тому +758

    "Your achievement impress me, mortal. Good for you, there is another one coming this way, so you can show your skill again. I won't spoil you your victory this time, so you will do everything by yourself. Emperor protects."

    • @toussaintchivars9005
      @toussaintchivars9005 2 місяці тому +17

      😂😂😂👍👍👍👍🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Black_Templar_Marshal
      @Black_Templar_Marshal Місяць тому

      The god emperor you mean, filthy heretic

    • @UtubeH8tr
      @UtubeH8tr Місяць тому +41

      Plot twist;
      The guardsman kills that one too and get's conscripted as Field Guide for the entire chapter.

    • @sumbody694
      @sumbody694 28 днів тому +3

      @@UtubeH8tr Can you tell me what a field guide does. This is the first time I have heard of guardsman serving in this way.

    • @thien0300
      @thien0300 22 дні тому +6

      He talk back to a Black Templar after seeing them fight, he clearly aint scare, show him a Heretic and he will charge it no question ask.

  • @tomwallen7271
    @tomwallen7271 4 місяці тому +345

    He's fighting with a Black Templar. He knows he isn't getting off that battlefield alive. He's getting that kill credit!

  • @Flamingo48923
    @Flamingo48923 4 місяці тому +303

    “This one is cute, can we keep it? I’ll feed it sometimes”

  • @SquatterLoki
    @SquatterLoki 4 місяці тому +952

    A Salamander would hug him, pat him on the head at tells the guardsman that he did an incredible job.

    • @sturmnacht8503
      @sturmnacht8503 3 місяці тому +104

      A guardsman would feel too bad to argue with a salamander

    • @Juju2927
      @Juju2927 3 місяці тому +39

      @@sturmnacht8503 Good point.
      Feels like another good interrractions would be with the Space Wolves or White Scars. It'd be like Hawkeye arguing with Thor on who got the kill.

    • @MisterPerson-fk1tx
      @MisterPerson-fk1tx 3 місяці тому +17

      Emperor's Children would hug him too.

    • @ahmadrifqisusanto6008
      @ahmadrifqisusanto6008 2 місяці тому +13

      ​@@MisterPerson-fk1txbut in another way💀💀

    • @БомжКаледун
      @БомжКаледун Місяць тому +1

      Ultramarine would have given him a book.

  • @Returning_Bob
    @Returning_Bob 4 місяці тому +18744

    Still only counts as one

    • @lichkean
      @lichkean  4 місяці тому +881

      Need something for his last 60 seconds

    • @superiorozzy184
      @superiorozzy184 4 місяці тому +177

      Lord Of The Rings reference?

    • @RAMZAVFX
      @RAMZAVFX 4 місяці тому +47

      ​@@superiorozzy184 yee 😂

    • @lordllama881
      @lordllama881 4 місяці тому +77

      A guardsman got a KD ratio of 1:1 to an enemy a space marine had to fight. Probably not in reality but at least the guardsman thought so before the lights went out.

    • @MihailBoi378
      @MihailBoi378 4 місяці тому +2

      ​​@@superiorozzy184HOLY SHIT, BOTHER! :D

  • @rollingthunder1043
    @rollingthunder1043 4 місяці тому +11614

    doesn't matter how many times you shot it. All that matters is the shot that made it stop moving.

    • @alessiogiovannetti513
      @alessiogiovannetti513 4 місяці тому +306

      Who said that the single shot of the Templar made it stop moving?
      Maybe that shot cracked open the head armor/helmet/whatever and the last two/three shots of the guardsman in that spot fried its brain.

    • @operatortalon-5976
      @operatortalon-5976 4 місяці тому +60

      My extraction shooter teammates better not see this

    • @AdeptKing
      @AdeptKing 4 місяці тому +43

      Better phrasing might be that the Templar’s one shot did more damage than the Guardsman’s six shots.

    • @invaliduser911
      @invaliduser911 4 місяці тому

      But in hunting laws who ever shot it first gets the kill

    • @The-Spanish-Inquisition490
      @The-Spanish-Inquisition490 4 місяці тому +11

      Really? I'd have thunk it would be the one that made it stop living.

  • @marksteve9247
    @marksteve9247 4 місяці тому +1360

    "Wait... Are we supposed to see a Black Templar deployed?"
    *"I think your time is up!"*

    • @drsatanrx
      @drsatanrx 4 місяці тому +72

      The guard served along side the templars on Armageddon. Grimaldus has mad respect for the guard, and I'd *love* to see any of the zealots stand up to the high reclusiarch

    • @Flame4516
      @Flame4516 4 місяці тому +71

      You are thinking of the grey knights. Those are the ones you really don't want to see.

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile 4 місяці тому +19

      You're thinking grey knights lmao

    • @cursedhawkins1305
      @cursedhawkins1305 4 місяці тому +8

      @@Flame4516 Depends on the perspective, Space Marines just get their memories wiped, Guardsmen on the other hand are just executed.

    • @AceDan-gc9po
      @AceDan-gc9po 4 місяці тому

      Ngl the no one can see the gray knights is dumb just call them bogus chapter name here and go on your way

  • @Aucun-cx1bj
    @Aucun-cx1bj 4 місяці тому +273

    I think there's a fair chance the templar would be amused and impressed by the guy absolute zero sense of self preservation.

  • @ZanOGAL
    @ZanOGAL 4 місяці тому +450

    Space marine would say...."come shoot me 6 times and let me shoot u once, whoever is standing is their kill"😂

    • @martind7612
      @martind7612 2 місяці тому +15

      If memory serves right, the guardsman shooting 6 times and then the astartes firing back once (given he survives) is actually a pretty fair fight with 1/3 - 1/3 chances and 1/3 chance of a draw.

    • @lirideumdenovissimahominis2473
      @lirideumdenovissimahominis2473 Місяць тому +3

      The marine: ⚰️

    • @racisthumanist5069
      @racisthumanist5069 29 днів тому +3

      Honestly guardsman have a pretty solid chance here lol

    • @Enzo012
      @Enzo012 23 дні тому +1

      @@martind7612 It depends if you're going by tabletop rules or by the lore

    • @Crab20665
      @Crab20665 15 днів тому +1

      Honestly just let the guardsman do a hit of tweaking on his lasgun so its at maximum output and he would win

  • @theemperor3557
    @theemperor3557 4 місяці тому +4733

    The 15 hours lifespan for a guardsmen is false. That stat was only limited to one brutal battle.

    • @krossbow789
      @krossbow789 4 місяці тому +444

      It doesn't even make sense really unless a majority number of deployments are "easy" and only counterbalanced by outlier slaughterfests.
      There's tons upon tons of canon "veteran" guardsmans in lore that have survived multiple engagements and years, which doesn't jive if they all just die on day one.

    • @theemperor3557
      @theemperor3557 4 місяці тому +232

      @@krossbow789 exactly because they don’t. In fact many actually get to retire and get a plot of land on some planet to live out their lives.

    • @craig9365
      @craig9365 4 місяці тому +189

      @@theemperor3557 i guess no one ever taught you about averages? the fun part about an average is you can have outliers in both directions. doesnt change the fact the likelyihood of you making it past that point isnt still pretty low. but again thats the beauty of averages.
      100, 200, 300, the average is 200
      100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 100, 200, 1000 the average is also 200.
      the beauty of averages is they can be the most useless stat if you dont have the underlying data.

    • @SpottedHares
      @SpottedHares 4 місяці тому +33

      I think it was average for one battle for freshly deployed guardsmen.

    • @theemperor3557
      @theemperor3557 4 місяці тому +121

      @@craig9365 no, 98 percent of guardsmen will survive their first day of deployment. The 2 percent were put into a crazy situation.

  • @tremas3329
    @tremas3329 4 місяці тому +384

    Reminds me of a joke told to me by my Hunter Safety teacher when i was a kid: A man's wife kept begging and nagging to take her with him to go deer hunting. He finally got fed up and thought to himself he would take her out with him set her in a tree stand and let her freeze for a couple hours. She would be begging to go home, and he could have the rest of the season in peace. So he took her, put her in a tree stand and started towards his own a bit away. Before he got there, he heard a shot, thought 'good lord, the woman has shot herself' and ran back. As he nears where he left her, he hears a mans voice and stops to listen for a moment. The voice says "Yeah lady. You shot it, its yours to keep, just let me get the saddle off it first".

    • @bdough5012
      @bdough5012 3 місяці тому +34

      LMFAO THATS GREAT. I had no idea where it was going so it was a perfect punchline to me

    • @yourfriendlyneighbourhoodl6206
      @yourfriendlyneighbourhoodl6206 3 місяці тому +4

      I don’t get it, what did she shoot?

    • @tremas3329
      @tremas3329 3 місяці тому +54

      @@yourfriendlyneighbourhoodl6206 Someone's horse they were riding: Hence, the saddle.

    • @jesse4550
      @jesse4550 3 місяці тому +6

      I genuinely LOL’d. Very well done!

    • @888CDS2.0
      @888CDS2.0 Місяць тому +1

      Lmao

  • @beowulf4545
    @beowulf4545 4 місяці тому +774

    That guardsmen son will be recruited for the black templars

    • @RaptorJesus
      @RaptorJesus 4 місяці тому +161

      "Your father was an idiot, but he was the *bravest* idiot I've ever seen."

    • @shadow__bubby
      @shadow__bubby 4 місяці тому +69

      They would probably say your father was the idiot who had the biggest balls to exist for a guardsman but he was to old to join the black Templars so we did the next best thing we have taken his sons into our order and they will be personally trained by our men

    • @Elenrai
      @Elenrai 4 місяці тому +20

      @@shadow__bubby Even if they fail, they will make loyal and sturdy servants of the chapter!

  • @aarons9961
    @aarons9961 4 місяці тому +235

    Congratulations Citizen! Due to your Courage, Loyalty, and Dedication to Duty during your service as a Guardsman, your firstborn son has been pre-selected for the Astartes Program.
    "You can have the kill. We will have your children"

    • @retematic2351
      @retematic2351 4 місяці тому +15

      on honor to be sure, a welcome one at that!

    • @dasheroo1229
      @dasheroo1229 3 місяці тому +30

      honestly in 40k that just means your children will live, as a guardsman father with literally zero time to raise said child thats a pretty good deal.

    • @dickweinerman4118
      @dickweinerman4118 3 місяці тому

      Tbf there are MUCH worse fates in 40k than being Astartes.

    • @mattpryokra2245
      @mattpryokra2245 3 місяці тому +3

      That’s quite a low key ‘fk you’ my lord…. Touché 😂😅

    • @zaniatnik
      @zaniatnik 3 місяці тому +5

      Is that supposed to be a middle finger? He’s getting the honours he was afraid to even think of.

  • @Toldoris
    @Toldoris 4 місяці тому +33

    That guardsman: Stop counting down! 15hours is average not the maximum! And nothing about me is average!

  • @mastadonking3816
    @mastadonking3816 4 місяці тому +1064

    The guardsman turns out to be either A) under custodes protection or B) a perpetual.

    • @ИванМартемьянов-м7б
      @ИванМартемьянов-м7б 4 місяці тому +124

      perpetual guardsman that fucks with everyone for 10k years is funny af

    • @northernalpine4350
      @northernalpine4350 4 місяці тому +113

      A Perpetual guardsman who has Balls of Ceramite
      But he doesn't actually know that he LITERALLY cannot die, he just doesn't give enough shits to care if he can

    • @halo129830
      @halo129830 4 місяці тому +19

      @@northernalpine4350or more like he doesn’t have time to die.

    • @MrOiram46
      @MrOiram46 4 місяці тому +29

      Even better: He’s a shard of the Emperor, the one with big balls 😂

    • @leprechaunprime
      @leprechaunprime 4 місяці тому +17

      C) a son of Krieg

  • @borponoida9161
    @borponoida9161 4 місяці тому +46

    Tbf black templars actually do have a sense of humor. He would most likely let him have it.

  • @cypherofsmeg9020
    @cypherofsmeg9020 4 місяці тому +79

    Guardsman got balls of steal. Shame hes probably only got 50 seconds to live

  • @lordpalandus11
    @lordpalandus11 4 місяці тому +17

    Standing up to a Black Templar, is like a boot making a Drill Sergeant laugh. Its insane, and you'll regret it later.

  • @acg4523
    @acg4523 4 місяці тому +53

    I mean I am sure mechanicus can somehow weaponize this man's balls...to not do so is a mismanagement of resources

  • @Native_Beats_
    @Native_Beats_ 4 місяці тому +43

    "Assist Counts as Kill"
    - Battlefield 1

  • @Dr.Sammich
    @Dr.Sammich 4 місяці тому +16115

    Man, if only the Black Templar had a german accent...

    • @generic_tough_guy.4830
      @generic_tough_guy.4830 4 місяці тому +150

      How about the Tootsie pop owl voice instead

    • @alexreys7985
      @alexreys7985 4 місяці тому +365

      NO LITTLE GERMAN BOY

    • @kaiser5910
      @kaiser5910 4 місяці тому +145

      Can't. Germans strictly adhere to the rules. The Black Templars don't.

    • @Saddutchman
      @Saddutchman 4 місяці тому +75

      I'd guess the soldiers from Krieg have a german accent...

    • @Dr.Sammich
      @Dr.Sammich 4 місяці тому +41

      ​@@SaddutchmanOh, yeah they most definitely do

  • @theduke7539
    @theduke7539 4 місяці тому +16

    man just stood there with 0 fear talking to a black templar. He has the heart of a space marine. well one of them anyway

  • @HyperbolicMedia
    @HyperbolicMedia 4 місяці тому +23

    Black Templar: *pats guardsmans head* sure thing honey. Anything for your last wishes whilst on the battlefield.

  • @MrEvan312
    @MrEvan312 4 місяці тому +243

    "Forgive me, little guardsman, but how is it my fault that your leadership can't be bothered to issue you weapons appropriate for the target? That monster was indeed massive, you should have let your heavy weapons squads deal with it. My armor-penetrating explosive bolt rounds were simply better suited to the task; that's why we space marines are sent to take on smaller quantities of bigger, tough enemies while you and your vast numbers deal with the waves of enemy chaff. That is why we compliment each other."
    "..."
    "..."
    "..."
    "... so it was indeed mine-"
    "Fuck you!"

  • @shumpbarbarian
    @shumpbarbarian 4 місяці тому +202

    It was the size of a house, and you shot it 6 times with a first deployment lazrifle. My goodness, by that point, it may well have been... giving you it's attention.

  • @codfish4536
    @codfish4536 2 місяці тому +38

    The fact that the black templar says "okay... Guardsman"
    His like a Labrador getting scolded for ruining a couch

  • @jameselliott216
    @jameselliott216 2 місяці тому +15

    Bro. He is counting the seconds for the last minute of the average lifespan of a guardsman. Friggin *run!*

  • @hopelesscomedian
    @hopelesscomedian 2 місяці тому +35

    What if we got a warhammer horror game? Stuck on a planet with a bunch of enemies, no space marines, no dreadnaughts, just you and the will to live

    • @lichkean
      @lichkean  2 місяці тому +3

      Like a guardsmen stuck on a station/outpost on a world overrun with a Nurgle plague

    • @draguknight
      @draguknight 23 дні тому

      And the game never ends just a perpetual hell

    • @szeth5287
      @szeth5287 18 днів тому

      You mean like edge of tommorow? A movie. But it’s pretty similar to how the game would be, you die, everything resets to the beginning, use what you learned to progress further each time(hopefully) create a strategy that works, gather resources(and log where you found them for future attempts) and finally, somehow escape, or kill everything

    • @draguknight
      @draguknight 18 днів тому

      @@szeth5287 That but it doesn't end

    • @Vyke_Dragonspear
      @Vyke_Dragonspear 15 днів тому

      ​@@lichkean yall know anything about Darktide?

  • @god_fruit_tree
    @god_fruit_tree 4 місяці тому +146

    That is a good argument, counter argument, one shot one kill is cooler than multiple shots

    • @Sidmen2200
      @Sidmen2200 4 місяці тому +16

      Counter counter argument. A guardsman hit something six times. That's more impressive than a marine hitting it once.

  • @daikhairai7194
    @daikhairai7194 4 місяці тому +11

    I like the idea of a space marine just looking down at this guardsman giving him some shit over a kill. It's like if a chewowa was barking at a wolf, and the wolf was just staring back down at it "aww you lil shit, you think this matters... Well for you I guess it does..."

  • @jeanueuh8228
    @jeanueuh8228 Місяць тому +3

    This is the equivalent of "I threw 6 pebbles at it, you shot it with a 50 BMG, Its my kill!"

  • @NolDragon
    @NolDragon 4 місяці тому +50

    Damn, that Black Templar disrespecting a veteran right there.

  • @RintinTintinz
    @RintinTintinz 4 місяці тому +22

    Great skit. I must say the creators interpretation of how a Space marine could sound is one of the best I have heard.

    • @lichkean
      @lichkean  4 місяці тому +2

      Glad you enjoyed it!

    • @nsahandler
      @nsahandler 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@@lichkean
      I lol'd. Make a series of shorts about the longest living guardsman and end it with a friendly fire incident. That should be good traffic

  • @thatguy03049
    @thatguy03049 4 місяці тому +100

    Bro this was actually funny when I heard him say how long have you been deployed so I wish he said that to a dreadnought

  • @richardtaillon1616
    @richardtaillon1616 4 місяці тому +175

    I like how he's explaining it slowly to the mentally and genetically tortured child-soldier...by the Emperor, I love 40k

  • @amycox7508
    @amycox7508 4 місяці тому +51

    When you don’t have anything to live for, at least he dies with a kill.

  • @dillasoul2228
    @dillasoul2228 4 місяці тому +35

    That was possibly the nicest "you're going to die tonight" a Black Templar has said to anyone

  • @I_am_VietAleks
    @I_am_VietAleks 4 місяці тому +1

    He's standing up to a black templar possibly the most bad ass corps in warhammer

  • @NicPTheMeme
    @NicPTheMeme 4 місяці тому +84

    That Guardsman got MAD balls to stand up to a Black Templar of all Chapters
    Bet he got some MAD respect from that Templar tho

    • @Tom_Cruise_Missile
      @Tom_Cruise_Missile 4 місяці тому +3

      He'd shoot you. Respectfully, of course, but he'd still shoot you.

    • @Snazzy12341
      @Snazzy12341 4 місяці тому

      Better have men with guts in the army than squealing shitheads

    • @The_Racr1
      @The_Racr1 4 місяці тому +14

      He was counting the seconds because guardsmen deployment last on average 15 hours on enemy infested planets

    • @captiancholera8459
      @captiancholera8459 3 місяці тому +2

      @@The_Racr1 While generally that's an exaggeration since even massive battles like vracks rack up fewer numbers than WW1, and Cadia is a massive outlier since the planet was essentially populated entirely by guardsmen which drives the average wayyyyy down. The fact that a black templar of all marine chapters is present, yeahhhh bro probably isn't surviving this one

  • @scr3aming3agle83
    @scr3aming3agle83 4 місяці тому +4

    Literal "you stand here amidst my achievement! Not yours" moment from rogue one when krennic shouted at tarkin 😂

  • @Muzzle1300
    @Muzzle1300 4 місяці тому +62

    Finishes countdown to 15 hours, the creature the size of the house believed to be dead gets up and destroys the guardsman’s arm, the black Templar proceeds to shoot it “now it took 8 of my shots. I believe the kill is mine. And congratulations on making it past the 15 hours.”

    • @antimnaftan4755
      @antimnaftan4755 4 місяці тому +13

      *the guard gets back up and says*
      No no you only shot it twice I shot it thrice it is still my kill >:(
      *the room is filled with silence the only thing being heard is the guard bleeding like a fire hose from where used to be his arm*

    • @hellothere3609
      @hellothere3609 4 місяці тому +4

      @@antimnaftan4755 Templar is stunned and they become frens :D

    • @williammitchell2046
      @williammitchell2046 2 місяці тому +1

      @@antimnaftan4755 tis just a scratch, he says....

  • @BossHoggBroDog
    @BossHoggBroDog 4 місяці тому +4

    Honestly after watching the whole thing I’d love to see more “heat of battle” moments where normal humans forget themselves and address the “Angels” point blank with realistic reactions from chapters/characters

  • @sanjayhowell6498
    @sanjayhowell6498 21 день тому +1

    Bro as Gaurdsman you would never catch me arguing with any Space Marines so shout out to that Gaurdsman for his bravery 😅

  • @derekskinner2694
    @derekskinner2694 4 місяці тому +23

    Guardsman: Math is math! More bullets mean more damage!
    Black Templar: I can not argue with your logic.... but what do you know of averages?

  • @youngapex1050
    @youngapex1050 4 місяці тому +3

    Not the brother counting down😂😂😂

  • @Th3Paleblood
    @Th3Paleblood 4 місяці тому +5

    They say he's still counting just to see if this guy breaks the guardsmen life span record

  • @Joshfo2024
    @Joshfo2024 4 місяці тому +2

    Nga😂 some space marine sense of humor when they talk to each other. It’s just funny how they clown each other.

  • @paulverse4587
    @paulverse4587 3 місяці тому +9

    15 hours lifespan is so grimderp. Imperial guard is the absolute best their respective planets have to offer. Transporting them around the galaxy is too expensive to have them die instantly.

    • @williammitchell2046
      @williammitchell2046 2 місяці тому +2

      iirc, that 15 hour lifespan was largely during a single, very intense battle

    • @ronaldthompson4989
      @ronaldthompson4989 21 день тому

      'the addition of medical personel to marine platoons has vastly improved their combat endurance to over 9 minutes' -starcraft

  • @harrisoncooper9170
    @harrisoncooper9170 4 місяці тому +2564

    Why did he start counting

    • @VoiceOfTheEmperor
      @VoiceOfTheEmperor 4 місяці тому +1579

      15 hours is the average lifespan of a freshly deployed Guardsman.

    • @SpringDavid
      @SpringDavid 4 місяці тому +924

      ​@@VoiceOfTheEmperorlittle did that space marine knew, that guardsman was going to survive 30 hours

    • @murilolimagarcia3322
      @murilolimagarcia3322 4 місяці тому +408

      Little did that space marine knew, that guardsman was being protected by the aquilan shield

    • @alessiogiovannetti513
      @alessiogiovannetti513 4 місяці тому +419

      @@VoiceOfTheEmperorimagine if the guardsman instead of survived not only that encounter but even the next ones and was able to climb ranks and become “hero of the imperium” before retiring and dying of old age.
      All the while the Templar would be still there, not showing signs of age, dumbfounded and calculating the probabilities of such an event…

    • @thundercrash4775
      @thundercrash4775 4 місяці тому +171

      ​@@alessiogiovannetti513"If I had a throne (a common form of Imperial currency) for every time this has happened to me, I'd have 3 thrones. Which is not a lot, but..."

  • @mattkite7246
    @mattkite7246 3 місяці тому +3

    lol the last second is so hilariously dark. Enjoy your last minute of glory Guardsman!

  • @sircharlesvonpimpsmack7667
    @sircharlesvonpimpsmack7667 4 місяці тому +113

    If I were a guardsman, for the sake of levity in combat, I would actively have an arguement with a space marine like this. And the arguement just gets more and more pointless as it continues. I would absolutely abandon my post, my commander, my objective and follow that space marine into any and all combat scenarios until either i died, or they shot me for going awol.
    "Why do you persist this folly?"
    "Ain't really ever had a friend mi'lord. Frag out!"

    • @aimanislam1233
      @aimanislam1233 4 місяці тому +16

      Bro thinks he's the anime sidekick the marine would kick you away

    • @ComanderRilldo
      @ComanderRilldo 4 місяці тому +19

      @@aimanislam1233 depends on which Chapter, some would probably think the guardsman is amusing and keep him around like a court jester

    • @Darqshadow
      @Darqshadow 4 місяці тому +13

      If the situation is bad enough, they might be the only two left in that area so it would be a very highjinks adventure if a guardsman too jaded to care and an astartes beyond amused.

    • @Grangolus
      @Grangolus 4 місяці тому +1

      ​@@aimanislam1233Why is so much of this fanbase miserable?

    • @sircharlesvonpimpsmack7667
      @sircharlesvonpimpsmack7667 4 місяці тому

      @aimanislam1233 doesn't matter. If space marines are fighting amongst the guardsman, the situation is F.U.C.K.E.D...
      If I were a guardsman in such a situation, death is likely. One cannot live forever. When death comes calling, you can either throw a tantrum and be dragged away, or crack wise and greet them with a smile. Either outcome is the same.

  • @elking5799
    @elking5799 4 місяці тому +1

    Counting to the 15 hour mark is crazy bro bout to stomp him out🤣😂
    That guardsman watching the giant medal man counting for a minute next second hes gonna wish for the assistance

  • @_unknown123.
    @_unknown123. 2 місяці тому +2

    Bro: I won't let you take away my achievements...I could have been a space marine

  • @johnpo2
    @johnpo2 4 місяці тому +6

    Jokes on the black templar this guardsman has been deployed on THIS planet for 14 hours and 59 minute.

  • @bmad1386
    @bmad1386 4 місяці тому +15

    The guard/astra militarum absolutely carries the Imperium on it's back though....

  • @c-4mobn523
    @c-4mobn523 4 місяці тому +7

    Grimaldus can i keep this one?

  • @green_warlock
    @green_warlock 3 місяці тому +1

    "Okay guardsman" sounded like "okay, boomer" for a space marine 🤣

  • @rizs12
    @rizs12 Місяць тому +1

    It’s like a new worker come to my work place and started tell me what to do lol😂😂😂

  • @Groovelicious.
    @Groovelicious. 3 місяці тому +3

    "I have one question for you. Why so serious?"

  • @darkbozo11
    @darkbozo11 2 місяці тому +3

    Ok guardsman...shoot me 6 times and i only shoot you one time back..
    Deal??

  • @IronWolf-no6qm
    @IronWolf-no6qm 4 місяці тому +3

    Does that man look like he cares about what you say but still i have to say that man got some balls of steel to say that to a space marine even though that space marine can kill him with a flick of his hand for inspiration keep up the amazing work and keep on making beautiful content from the heart ♥️ 😂

  • @MERCENARYREVY
    @MERCENARYREVY 4 місяці тому

    😂 gods i love the gardsman Guys got steel balls.

  • @joaopedroulmidesouza14
    @joaopedroulmidesouza14 4 місяці тому +1

    *NO ONE* is taking my man's kill 😭

  • @slayeroffurries1115
    @slayeroffurries1115 4 місяці тому +20

    60 seconds later a random boulder fell from the skies directly onto the guardsman's head

  • @theredtails7609
    @theredtails7609 4 місяці тому +17

    Off topic, but I wonder... If there's 2 bestfriends, 1 becomes a normal guardsmen and the other a Space Marine, would they still tease eachother? 🤔

    • @thetofulord3249
      @thetofulord3249 4 місяці тому +1

      I smell a sitcom!

    • @MaceOfSpades5
      @MaceOfSpades5 3 місяці тому +1

      Depends wich Chapter and how good they are but deffinatly i can just imagne it too

    • @eibbor171
      @eibbor171 3 місяці тому

      probably not as the guardsmen will most likely
      be dead the next day. So yes, but also no for that reason

  • @vanguard-b4l
    @vanguard-b4l 4 місяці тому +9

    Pov every friendship I'm a war game

  • @allenfox7186
    @allenfox7186 4 місяці тому +1

    Gimli- Still counts as one.

  • @Jangofett-g7g
    @Jangofett-g7g 4 місяці тому +4

    The guardsman: come 1 vs 1 on nuke town

  • @Ortelias
    @Ortelias 4 місяці тому +5

    I think the 15 hr reference is from 1 specific battle; It doesn't represent the average across EVERY combat zone.

  • @elitereptilian200
    @elitereptilian200 4 місяці тому

    lmao this is wonderful, thanks!!

  • @nadinegagne7637
    @nadinegagne7637 3 місяці тому

    OMG, I LOVE THIS 😂😂 and the counting... that Black Templar is keeping that guardsman once he lives to 15 hours 😍😂

  • @michaellemmons4759
    @michaellemmons4759 4 місяці тому +45

    ☠️ FIFTEEN HOURS ☠️

  • @AntiKira20
    @AntiKira20 4 місяці тому +60

    Sorry, no story today. Trying to get things in order in case things go south for that tropical storm tomorrow.

    • @lichkean
      @lichkean  4 місяці тому +10

      Stay Safe

    • @ammarpratama1207
      @ammarpratama1207 4 місяці тому

      Wait, what tropical storm?

    • @jeffsorrows
      @jeffsorrows 4 місяці тому

      Woo I dodged the shit out of that, was heading slightly my way then turned enough, where last night was just some gust of winds and clear blue skies today! Can't say much for the rest of florida though... 🙏 (yes I know it's registered as a high five lol)

    • @Saddutchman
      @Saddutchman 4 місяці тому

      I hope you made it. If I ever get to live in Florida I'd build my house like the germans did in 1943 along the French coast.

    • @MrJostur
      @MrJostur 4 місяці тому

      ​@@Saddutchman
      Bro, I wish we could all do that.

  • @viciousatomsk9971
    @viciousatomsk9971 4 місяці тому +10

    remember kids, don't mock the guardsmen, your ALWAYS within ICBM range

  • @kyototomokui6676
    @kyototomokui6676 4 місяці тому +1

    That was a wholesome ending.

  • @loustancu3480
    @loustancu3480 3 місяці тому +2

    Holy crap the bass reverb on the power armored voice in my JBLS rattled my skull so bad ass i think i just accepted the emperor as my new god 🤣🤣🤣

    • @lichkean
      @lichkean  3 місяці тому

      I sometimes think I add too much when I'm tweaking I audacity, but I'm glad you enjoyed it

  • @leonsmith6436
    @leonsmith6436 4 місяці тому +447

    why is he counting lolol i dont get it

    • @colrumj5115
      @colrumj5115 4 місяці тому +236

      The average lifespan of a guardsman after deployment is 15hours, so he's counting down his last minute alive

    • @jamesg7508
      @jamesg7508 4 місяці тому +16

      @@colrumj5115 the whole “muh 15 hours” is literally only the case in a single book, on one planet, in a particular ork engagement. Not an actual general figure

    • @colrumj5115
      @colrumj5115 4 місяці тому

      @@jamesg7508 read more of the books, it's a running gag

    • @mr.nothing8031
      @mr.nothing8031 4 місяці тому +2

      Guyz i really wanna know...does he bonks him?

    • @Charley-ju6yg
      @Charley-ju6yg 4 місяці тому +4

      ​@@jamesg7508just enjoy the joke, we dont need all this "umm actually"

  • @fryingscotsmanful
    @fryingscotsmanful 4 місяці тому +7

    Life expectancy of 15 hours on the front lines. This cracked me up

  • @Bruh_Animator
    @Bruh_Animator 4 місяці тому +7

    "your 6 shots dealt 24 damage, total of 144 damage, my missle dealt 250 damage. The kill is mine."

  • @MichaelCrawford-c2y
    @MichaelCrawford-c2y 2 місяці тому +1

    That man must have some very strong legs to carry those 1000lbs balls

  • @blakebass8638
    @blakebass8638 4 місяці тому +2

    Itll be nice watching a pov of a guardsmen becoming heroic surviving all the encounters and becoming a leader in his own right among baseline humans.

  • @QueenAleenaFan
    @QueenAleenaFan 4 місяці тому +4

    Fair argument

  • @mynamesnotdan
    @mynamesnotdan 4 місяці тому +4

    "Ok guardsman... i have one question for you... English or Spanish?"

    • @nuc13ar
      @nuc13ar 4 місяці тому

      that shouldnt have made me chortle caught me off guard

  • @TheMajesticShuckle
    @TheMajesticShuckle 4 місяці тому +5

    15 hours is only the lifespan of a guardsman for one particular battle, generally they live much longer

  • @DaltonHannah-gh1hi
    @DaltonHannah-gh1hi 4 місяці тому

    Lmao. This reminds me of every one who plays with cod. And this is exactly what goes through my mind 😂

  • @ArkhamKnight-z9q
    @ArkhamKnight-z9q 3 місяці тому +1

    Me arguing with my little brother on who got the most kills

  • @Al-ix5qq
    @Al-ix5qq 4 місяці тому +7

    HE HAS A GUN THAT IS NO BLACK TEMPLAR

    • @JacobColeman-tu3sb
      @JacobColeman-tu3sb 4 місяці тому +1

      The Black Templar's use guns like any other Chapter. To say otherwise is meme lore and not cannon.

    • @Alucard-mj6yj
      @Alucard-mj6yj 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@JacobColeman-tu3sb Nice try, Alpharius

  • @pedrobeneitezkober5898
    @pedrobeneitezkober5898 4 місяці тому

    The beautiful 15 hours of life