In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: ua-cam.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ.html
This guy has some very poetic one-liners: "flashed me, her face completely disaffected...she was disgusted by the idea of privacy, etc." He should be a novelist.
Cheers mate. You're doing a really important job for not nearly enough pay, but it is sincerely appreciated. You deserve more cash, school room resources you don't have to pay for yourself, and more time off, but the good news is you can honestly say that your job makes a real positive difference in multiple peoples' lives. Better a modest life of positive change than a wealthy life of no, or negative consequence.
Seriously. I don't know if I've ever listened to a televised stand up and thought "this crowd is really fuckin' annoying". It's like they were listening to something else entirely.
What an incredible guy though. Such a different personality than 99% of stand up comedians Ive experienced. Doesnt feel like youre being told a joke or a story; Kinda feels like a genuine conversation about funny shit with a close friend. I love it when a comedian just conveys shit and its authentically funny... Not always interested in an act or personality. His vernacular is fire too
As a teacher of severely developmentally delayed students, I can attest to the fact that we do drink like sailors. I have also had shit on me that I don’t know where it came from.
As someone who has worked at a behavioral health center for kids with severe developmental disorders. That is absolutely how we drank. Loved that job tho
I went to high school with a girl who now teaches disabled kids. I didnt notice it until now but his dissertation of the teachers was spot on. There is no life in her face and she seems extremely miserable now compared to the happy girl I remember her being.
I work with severely developmentally disabled young adults and I can verify that his description of how we party is 100% true. "We can't hit the students, but we can hit the bottle." 😉
Kyle Kinane with the GG Allen reference less than 3 minutes into the bit. This puts him in third place in the most obscure hipster references: comedian edition, behind Patton Oswalt and Eugene Mirman.
Ah yes the famously hipsterish GG Allen. Nothing says "hipster" like cutting yourself and taking a shit in the middle of your show. I remember the last Lumineers show when Jeremiah put down his mandolin to pinch a loaf on the stage and fight the audience.
wtf are you babbling about? besmirching Mr allins good name. pretty sure if he were still alive he would would stab the first neck bearded vegan in eye with an hiv infected needle
Last year in my school it was a popular thing to do to “neck” someone and that meant to hit them in the back of the neck. No one knew what it actually meant till about half way into the year our social studies teacher was like “you guys do know what necking actually mean right?” After everyone found out it literally just stopped and haven’t been done since 😂
I am not proud of it, but like many (I would imagine) I can totally relate to this story. They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, seems about right. He tells a good story, but the ending needs work.
In the mood for more This Is Not Happening? Watch comedians' most outrageous sex and romance stories here: ua-cam.com/play/PLD7nPL1U-R5p26gyn9MH4nOit3BcfNyYZ.html
Comedy Central Stand-Up
Hell yeah! I’ll check it out right when you put Ari back as the host!
@@inwardpod seconded
@@inwardpod fggku
This is literally, the best idea for a show, ever. This shit is candy to me, I could watch these videos all day. lol
WaRLoKWYATT You don't? I watch these for hours on end
just let them consume you
same same
WaRLoKWYATT I have
Man fuckin auto play keeps me tuned it for hours before I know it
This guy has some very poetic one-liners: "flashed me, her face completely disaffected...she was disgusted by the idea of privacy, etc." He should be a novelist.
Agreed!
He has a creative writing degree I believe
@@venn_diagramm yes he does, have a thumbsy uppsy
"We're both just *dippin' in and out of consciousness* through the whole thing..." 8:45
That's the strongest one
@@venn_diagramm he indeed does.
I'm a special ed teacher, and I'm dying of laughter. Just got back from the bar
You think you special huh
Anthony Locicero I am too! 🤣🤣🤣 So true!
Haha I salute you sir!!
God bless you truly, my daughter is DD adult and it's soo true, underpayed and underappreciated, my love goes out to you guys.
Cheers mate. You're doing a really important job for not nearly enough pay, but it is sincerely appreciated. You deserve more cash, school room resources you don't have to pay for yourself, and more time off, but the good news is you can honestly say that your job makes a real positive difference in multiple peoples' lives. Better a modest life of positive change than a wealthy life of no, or negative consequence.
Gotta love crowds that laugh at unfunny shit and then are completely silent during the actual joke
Seriously. I don't know if I've ever listened to a televised stand up and thought "this crowd is really fuckin' annoying". It's like they were listening to something else entirely.
A ton of comedy crowds.. frauds.
Really get those people out of the front row. Send them to the back.
@Carlos Spiceywhiener your:life
What an incredible guy though. Such a different personality than 99% of stand up comedians Ive experienced. Doesnt feel like youre being told a joke or a story; Kinda feels like a genuine conversation about funny shit with a close friend. I love it when a comedian just conveys shit and its authentically funny... Not always interested in an act or personality. His vernacular is fire too
I feel like I should be watching him split logs into firewood while he tells it. For some reason.
It's why he's one of my favorite comedians plus literally every special he has is pure gold
As a teacher of severely developmentally delayed students, I can attest to the fact that we do drink like sailors. I have also had shit on me that I don’t know where it came from.
same man. He is spot on.
@@teddyw1990 the
Yup… also the ability to keep a straight face…. Unmatched dead-pan skills.
Pretty sure it came from a poo poo hole.
This is a bar AND GRILL, ma'am.
LMFAAOOO
I love it when I scroll through the comments and see a quote that is said in the video as I read it.
@@ghostfox2473 (Do) you ever drive by a Toys R' Us and think, "We sure are"?
Almost peed myself laughing at that part.
It's just as good seeing it a second time lmfao there's a kid menu here haha
This woman sounds like Meredith from the office.
LMFAAAAOOO
Meaghan Cates so true lmao facts
She was honestly the only person I could imagine😂😂
Literally who I was picturing the whole time
"Daffy ducking" is the funniest thing I've heard in this set ! Brilliant image (:
Blu isn't Donald the duck without pants?
Yea, that's the point
Blu ive always refured to it as poo bear'n, but daffy duck'n works too.
It’s supposed to be Donald ducking. Daffy was fully naked all the time with just a priest collar.
^literally came here to say this!!
Kyle is the master of the you-say-more-by-saying-less aspect of comedy
So what you're saying is...hes a good comedian
Kyle Kinane is one of my favorite comedians. I hope he puts out another album soon.
Man been following Kyles material for years he is good.
a true hero right here keeping the roads safe
Kyle Kinane, I was laughing harder than all the people in the audience combined! Continue the great works sir.
"Now I don't believe in anything" that line got me.
I feel like most teachers change a lot between their original enthusiasm and the end result of how much they care for their job
this guy, true story teller. his albums leave me in stitches man.
Love this guy's voice
I love the fact that they're on a stripper stage.
Well its a strip club in LA so
"We find a parking spot, or a yard or something"
That one got me good
We don't get enough props for this work, but it's worth it
I love Kinane, can never get enough.
I swear, Kyle Kinane and I are the same person sometimes. Man, I love his stand up.
As teacher who's worked in the inner city public school system, I totally get it.
_hao do eye reeech deeez kiiiiiddddssss_
God bless you for your service
As someone who has worked at a behavioral health center for kids with severe developmental disorders. That is absolutely how we drank. Loved that job tho
I went to high school with a girl who now teaches disabled kids.
I didnt notice it until now but his dissertation of the teachers was spot on. There is no life in her face and she seems extremely miserable now compared to the happy girl I remember her being.
real low-energy crowd.
Thisold Hatte That's a paddlin
Because he wasn’t funny
@@jamesparker6447 just you fam
@@unbothered8740 He's lucky he got those laughs, too, because this set was really weak.
its a low energy performance....
"And I'm ALSO drunk so part of me is like...Woo!"
Salute to that lady teacher - she was honest, and this tale is awesome
This guy is fucking amazing. He just says words and they’re instantly funny.
Kyle looks like he can be a member of Dropkick Murphy's or Flogging Molly.
Or stunt double for front man of the band CLUTCH
He really does look like a guy who would wear a kilt and a scally cap and fill in on bagpipes for DKM
"This is a bar AND Grill! And it's almost dinnertime!"
Been there, Kyle. Sometimes sex is like a puppet show. Great and disappointing simultaneously.
I work with severely developmentally disabled young adults and I can verify that his description of how we party is 100% true. "We can't hit the students, but we can hit the bottle." 😉
Llooolllllll one of my friends said the same thing lol damn. Much respect to yah for what you all do.
My son is special ed and I can’t stop laughing; I am just imagining his teachers like this. I could definitely see it LOL!!!!
What an excellent story teller
I love his voice.
He is the cramblin' man's crambler.
now cramblin's not a word
i was born a cramblin' man...... sorry.....
just trying to make a livin'...cramblin' the best you can?..
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MEME
Luke Byrd
Watch his other episode of "this is not happening"
The hero we need
My entire childhood was soundtracked by this man
Him and Dan Cummins for me
I fucking love Kyle Kinane. He is one of my favorite comics, he is so underrated. You will all learn soon.
The word underrated is overused
Totally agree, he's definitely my favorite comedian, the realest one I've ever seen
he's from chicago area and i'm pretty sure i've been to that dirty nellie's before for a show..
+Johnny Deep wow dude
+Johnny Deep chill tf out
I had to Google it... Durty Nellie's is like 30 miles north west of Chicago.
I go to Durty Nellies all the time for shows.
E B
Palatine...
Used to be cooler....
When it was a corner bar of AWESOMENESS....
I know y’all just ain’t just gonna pretend like that intro didn’t just happen?
I'm actually trying to follow the story line during the the title sequence
Yes we fucking are
It's the new way the aliens give us the anal probes.
Nicholas Gee BOOMER
What’s the fuck was that sentence?
I've worked with special need individuals, what he says is often true. Gotta love care providers, they know self care.
These intros are so funny and out there. And the music is way dope
A comedian that references GG Allin. Respect.
Damn Ari, clapping them alien cheeks even before the Area 51 raid.
Any comedian who know's GG Allen, I can respect. Def. gonna check out more of Kyle Kinane
„Now I don’t believe in anything.“ 🙌👏🙌👏🙌
Commas are not apostrophes
This guy is the best comedian in the world. I love his stories they remind me of stuff that happens to me 😁
I love the intros. So creative. This one made my jaw drop.
Out of pure civic duty ...
Kyle Kinane with the GG Allen reference less than 3 minutes into the bit. This puts him in third place in the most obscure hipster references: comedian edition, behind Patton Oswalt and Eugene Mirman.
lmao, I googled the dude while I was watching. Obscure af
GG Allen's not really a hipster reference. More like gutter punk.
Ah yes the famously hipsterish GG Allen. Nothing says "hipster" like cutting yourself and taking a shit in the middle of your show. I remember the last Lumineers show when Jeremiah put down his mandolin to pinch a loaf on the stage and fight the audience.
simplyawful my sides
wtf are you babbling about? besmirching Mr allins good name. pretty sure if he were still alive he would would stab the first neck bearded vegan in eye with an hiv infected needle
I fricken LOVE that people applauded after his point at 8:10. Hilarious.
Connor McGregor let himself go
oh man that was a tough one to think of huh
Nathan rogers lol
Shout out to my old school hang out... Durty Nellies in Palatine. ..
Sounds about right...
Lol
Small world lmao
11:23 the man in the back is losing it. It looks like he got caught so off-guard by that joke.
He's right, my moms badass, she works as a special-ed teacher with severely delayed children.
@Dillon Owens he is most certainly not
Whats so wrong about calling em retarded? Its not rude, its accurate
Do, do, do... Do you live in California..?
@@Nanakiyami I live in NY
No one thinks he looks like Ragnar or a viking?
he is a viking
@toms1313 - Omg he does look like Ragnar Lothbrok!
Your Louis CK replacement has arrived.
Ragnar if Ragnar took a couple years off of raiding to help the miss’s raise the kids. Lol, he fucking hilarious.
Maybe Vikings ate nothing but hot dogs
1:06 for the start
wonder how many people had to google or UA-cam GG ALLIN.. hahaha
@Satanic Speed Metalhead I'll bet you're REAL happy to have learned all of that
Man, I feel bad for what those people were met with
I already knew who that is
For those that don’t know who he is, I suggest looking on UA-cam for MadLads GG Allin
Kyle Kinane, the hero we all deserve... o7
That GG joke is pretty rare
Str8 up!
What joke?
this guy is great!
So he's gotten blown by both a developmentally disabled person (as per his stand-up) and now a teacher of the developmentally disabled. Quite a feat.
Kyle's my spirit animal
The intros seem to be getting longer and more annoying. Is this on purpose?
Not sure. Also half the reason I watch TINH. Shame you don't like them.
I hate how the intro usually includes major punch lines
+Awesomeness Hippopotamus That's a good point. Obv. intended as a taster, it really just acts like a poor spoiler.
kyle should get on one of these pod cast shows
"Who's this GG Allin guy?", thinks nearly everyone in the crowd.
That’s for the best lol..
This topped my worse sex story beyond reality!!😂😂😂😂😂
He's funny and ruggedly handsome 😍
Let's make Kyle Kinane the new host of "The Daily Show".
PLEASE COMEDY CENTRAL!!!!!!
his voice is already synonymous with CC.
if i one day found out (in a very MIB way) that ari was an alien, i wouldn't for a moment not believe it.
“This is a bar _and_ grill, ma’am.” 😆
wish i didnt see him do this bit before. good bit tho. love the delivery.
Reminds of a chick I met in Richmond VA. I want to get tested now.
Hey ARI you nailed that Alien vid looked jus like room #237
Jus wanted shout that out 'fore I get started
That girl with the glasses behind him was in her own little heaven. This story was her every Saturday night.
Being from the same are, he describes this bar perfectly
The dude sitting in the front like.. I know you’re funny but I’m gonna sit here pretending that you’re not so I can look cool yeah👍🏼 lol
I love Kyle man
more of this guy!~
Best shit to listen to when ur stoned out of your mind 😂
Last year in my school it was a popular thing to do to “neck” someone and that meant to hit them in the back of the neck. No one knew what it actually meant till about half way into the year our social studies teacher was like “you guys do know what necking actually mean right?” After everyone found out it literally just stopped and haven’t been done since 😂
@9:40 he meant Donald Ducking 😭😂😂😂
omg the butler from jessie looks so good here
I don't know why I see people saying this isn't funny I thought this was fucking hilarious
whos saying that
"Drink your shots. Plural. We each get three." 😂😂😂
Find my self doing a jig every time i hear the comic introduction music lol
Ari Schafir, I swear to you that I have the best "This is Not Happening" story ever.
I am not proud of it, but like many (I would imagine) I can totally relate to this story. They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, seems about right. He tells a good story, but the ending needs work.
Kyle can say the ABC's and I would laugh my ass off.. I love him!
"Let's go to my car..." "Dove men's hydrating wash...."
That was ridiculously funny!
6:36 that dude at the middle to the right Keeps forcing his laughs like
Daffy Ducking was the best line...
👍 Hell ya on the GG reference.
That intro....wow 😳
Well he wasnt really FUNNY per say, but i really enjoy listening to him.
anybody know where this is not happening is filmed I'd love to go to this
It's at Cheetah Strip Club in LA, the show films in June, 21 and over only.