Hello Nick ..Very nice video❤️🙏✨🌷 Glad you found your true nature and can share your insights with us.I am still working on mine but learning more and more everyday .For most of my life I was always trying to force myself to be like others so that I could fit in and not stand out.I was a wallflower too ,still am in a way and that's ok.My motto in life is to always learn and evolve ..Don't close your mind cause that's when you become ignorant & judgemental.
So true. It took me some time to realize this. A very close friend of mine is very introverted. I would often get upset with her if she didn’t want to join me when with a larger group. I do understand her now and we spend time together just the two of us when we can.
@@KarenMartinez-mo8bu I'm glad that you did that for her, it takes a lot of insight to be able to realize this and make the neccessary changes to make them feel comfortable
@@phoenixjones7191 Why? And I meant why would you need or want to change yourself. Do you mean change your persona [or how you "appear"? Is that what you would wish to change? I could be wrong but staying as you "are" might be far superior.. just sayin. Being true to yourself. I have not finished listening to this video yet..
When you were a child, you could, and you did change your whole ass personality in five minutes. You were a totally different person depending on who you were with and what was expected of you. When you truly embrace that who you are is no-one, you can be anyone. Fundamentally, "Who I am" and "Buddhism" are concepts that cannot exist in the same person at once, he's made the first step of not trying to be someone that he isn't, but he hasn't taken the transformative step of realizing that who he is is no one, but he's putting in the work, he's where he needs to be.
@RosesAreBlue hot damn, I relate a lot. At a birthday party, I was very reserved since there were many people around and my social anxiety was still strong that time, this friend of mine kept asking in such a condescending tone-- in front of the others no less-- why I was being so quiet. I didn't answer, because I didn't know why either. "Why are you so loud?" I wish I had asked her. My mom is also an extrovert and she's forced me all my life to be more social and smile more. It's so draining, but thankfully I've come to accept my introverted nature, and I've found others who accept that as well. Extroverts may be sociable, but that doesn't mean they're sensitive of how others feel. And most of them definitely aren't so sensitive, sadly:(
I think it is rude to tell that to other introverts, but I have said it to myself as an introvert, and am glad I did. I practiced and got better making chit-chat over time, which is a life skill (fair or not), to the point that I now speak decent “pot luck chatter” (though I will never light up a room). I agree with what he is saying, but there is a fine line between “be yourself” and “if something is hard for you, just accept that, never practice and avoid that situation.”
I had a consult with a psychiatrist late last year. For the first time in my 39 years, I heard the words "You don't have to try to be a social person anymore. You've put yourself out there, you've tried that and learned that it isn't you. And that is okay." I cried so hard, I felt so freed by that. I love people, but that doesn't mean I have to be a social butterfly to belong or be a part of humanity.
That is a very insightful and wise clinician! Therapists have to operate within an ethical framework,. Generally & traditionally a therapist’s job is not about a client’s nature of being... that’s more a buddhist/spiritual guru/Alan Watts etc. A therapist works with the human psyche; it’s problem/patterns/blocks/phobias etc focused and resolving issues that impact everyday life. CBT is solution focused. Few therapists (sadly) will question whether the issue is really an issue at all societally... because it’s invalidating the client’s feelings. They’re more likely to question ‘why’ it’s an issue (which, if done right, can help the client to reassess their own reality/perception and values to see for themselves IF it really is an issue at all). I’m a therapist and spiritual (for want of a better word). During my training, the lecturers would roll their eyes at anything remotely outside of the accepted norm. I fought them on many fronts including my belief that reality was subjective. This was hotly refuted by my lecturers but I persisted all the same. Luckily the exam board was more open minded and my thesis won some recognition. I applaud this psychiatrist for thinking outside the box and entering the client’s frame of reference! Any therapeutic theory should evolve to fit the client... instead of making client fit the theory! That was my big argument with psychoanalysis! But the profession does have its limited framework/boundaries, as a duty of care. With regards to our nature of being and in my humble opinion - the things we resonate with and/or feel a passion for is often our soul showing us our direction, and we are free to explore that, which often takes courage and a leap of faith. It’s a magical way to exist in this world... to be fully present and follow the energy; finding a way to express your authentic self as your own unique gift to this world. To exist and coexist freely and expansively, beyond labels and society’s collective and restrictive ‘norms’. As long as we’re not harming other life beings (and that doesn’t include disappointing the expectations of others for following your own path), you are free. We are vast and magnificent beyond all human imagining and not confined to the expectations of a small mind. Many who are naturally gifted and truly connected (tuned) to greater consciousness and feel some innate calling do shy away from superficial social gatherings (because it’s ego noise that disturbs our higher vibration). Some limit themselves to very few necessary social gatherings - where we can learn and can often amuse ourselves ;) There is also the paradox, where after a certain point many are able to withstand the noise of societal noise and maintain their vibration. They can coexist with everything around them where they’re both a part of it and beyond it... without considering themselves special or separate. If you change and drop much of what you represented to become more authentic to yourself (which is a life long journey by the way, because we are boundless, we change with every experience). Some people will judge you, even worry that you are depressed or have completely lost your mind. After a while however, they will feel your peace and light and some unfathomable healing vibration in your presence... they will begin to ask how they themselves can achieve that. No matter what the rest of the world is doing Let your light shine. Remember we are always creating... nothing is ever wasted, even when we’re standing still, we create stillness 🌟
I’m happiest after work when I am home alone with my dog in the safety and comfort of my apartment. I need to let go of the idea that I am wasting my life away because I am not out there constantly doing things like some of my extroverted friends and family. I am OK as-is.
You can choose to be happy AT ALL TIMES, even at work. Change your perspective and you change your mind. Feel the gratitude of being alive. Don't let any other person's expectations affect your mindset. You can be happy no matter what happens. It's your choice and your choice alone. ☮️
I am just overcome with tears. Every part of my body is just filled with emotion watching this video. I struggle emotionally but after watching this I feel a great weight lifted. I hope this is the beginning of my healing
Yep. Introverts are very misunderstood. We are not shy, we are not cowards. Quite the opposite. It is about how we process stimuli and energy. I love being with people, and going to parties. BUT IN SMALL DOSES! Being with people is de-energizing to introverts. It is exhausting. I just need a lot of alone time. So, I live alone, and can control the dosing of being with others.
I can relate. My own personal struggle is that, not only am I an introvert, but I was also socially sheltered most of my life and have social anxiety. While I crave more interaction, I am confused about how to meet my needs, given my own condition and also feeling like the world around me is designed “for extroverts, by extroverts.” It seems like we need more social literacy in our culture, in many ways- teaching about introversion vs extroversion, etc. But this video has really spoken to me, and given me something to think about.
@@90MysteriumFascinans "given my own condition and also feeling like the world around me is designed “for extroverts, by extroverts.” I relate to what you expressed there and feel it is all too true. I believe extroverts have nearnly every advantage in society, if you go by society's rules. But here's the thing that popped into my mind when i read what you said: would it be easier to A) change society, or to B) change myself? My answer is B). However, if I change myself, aren't I actually changing the entire world too?
@@90MysteriumFascinans how do I thumbs-up this more than once. Seriously, UA-cam needs to switch to the model used by Medium: Claps - give as many as you like
Years of therapy. Illness, and suffering. Hundreds of doctors And I’ve never found such a profound realization occur within my life. Thank you from the deepest depths of my soul.
This is perfect ❤️. I'm a therapist. When I work with introverted patients we don't work on being extroverted, we work on how to recharge batteries when we have to be social and accepting that we have to set loving boundaries with people who want to change us. There's balance in the universe and if we were all social butterflies, that would not be balanced. For light there is dark, for noise there is silence, and for yin there is yang. We all have a place and our place is no less valid than anyone else's. I'm definitely taking you with me and asking some of my patients to watch this. Thank you. ❤️
I was married to someone who was extremely extroverted. He felt he needed to be entertained or be social as much as he could, and I was taken along for the ride. I enjoyed very few of those activities, and now I understand why. I am wired differently. I enjoy being social sometimes, but with small, select groups of people. But mostly I enjoy my own company, being peaceful.
I found your talk so useful. I am 62 years old and have always felt shy. I have criticised and beat myself up for feeling so awkward. Maybe now, I will learn to except myself as I am. Thank you.
You are just the way God created you to be. Dont allow anyone to change who you are. I am happy to be learning that we all can accept ourselves just as we are.
This was such an eye opening perspective. "If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." Maybe I'm just a fish, who has been trying to climb a tree, a rose trying to be a cactus. I need to turn around, realize, accept and work WITH who I am.
Notice what you're not so well at doing, so you can find handicaps for your shortcomings. Notice what you're well at, and play to those strengths. This is how you honor your nature. Most believe they need to be smart, and intelligent.. But even a chef can be a genius with food, but dull in other areas.. The point is, let the part of you that is a genius shine. Pursuing things outside of your nature doesn't work well. & Life is good at telling you, you dont fit in. Pay attention.
As a practicing buddhist and a therapist this was incredibly illuminating and helpful. It will change the way I'll try and help my clients (as well as myself). I cannot *thank you* enough for sharing this with us!!
Awwwe this makes me happy to hear. I'm glad you can have another tool at your disposal to help yourself and your clients 😊😊 Greetings to you from Thailand.
scary, you just described me exactly. What's even more weird is I have been telling my friend that this covid experience has really been nice for me since I can't go out. Like it's actually ok to be a hermit, in fact, it's encouraged. I wish I could be a monk like you
Agree with you George! I like this Covid-19 “lifestyle”, too. I don’t want things to go back to “normal”. Earth is suffering and this virus is a humanity reset. Thank you 🦠!
I am actually enjoying this covid "lifestyle" as well. I feel a lot more peaceful, I enjoy the quiet, and I love the anonymity that the mask brings when I'm in public.
I find that the most peaceful moments are when I am alone surrounded by silence at night with all distractions off and the only other being in the room being my cat.
I have been an extrovert for over half of my life, and l love solitude, silence, and being on my own too most of the time. Both have their attractions, and benefits.
something i love as much as solitude is the deep connection you can have with other people in small groups or one on one. Big groups leave me feeling drained but small hangouts with people im close to leave me energized as much as solitude!
I cried when you said, “You are honoring YOU!” I have a heavy heart and I am trying the best I can in my environment. I needed to hear this today. I am blessed that you came across my suggestions. 🙏
You’re describing my experience exactly as an autistic person. Before I knew I was autistic I suffered so much trying to force myself to fit into those kind of uncomfortable situations but now I thrive because I understand so much more about myself, like my strengths and what brings me joy. I love being autistic! ✌🏼💚
Nick, listening to you made me reflect upon the sad fact that such a large part of Western society is built around NOT accepting and cultivating your true self. If you are insecure, scared and sad, it will be easier for others to control you, make you live and work in a certain way, buy things and so on. I also love when you say "The fabric you are made of". Such a beautiful metaphor
As a fellow introvert, you took the words right out of my mouth! Nothing wrong with being the gentle quiet one, shame so many societies put such high currency on being the loud, jovial, life-of-the-party type...I guess it's a yin-yang type thing, you need one for the other to even exist.
Yes, when he said he quietly leaves to avoid the attention... Felt that... Therapists/ family/co-workers etc, push to throw us into the mix, not realizing we are ALL designed differently. We are all an example of something to someone, when we see ourselves as whole instead of in pieces, something about it feels very grounding... it felt like a chore going to therapy...had to take some time to myself to understand myself...Thank you for sharing, very inspiring. Be well.
Understand that most things people do and say to you are a reflection of their own struggles, and usually it's not even about you. This is why it's important to be authentic and comfortable with youself
I needed to hear this for my daughters. We will be watching this life changing video as a family tonight. My oldest is in her 20's and is getting ready to start sessions with a life coach due to our persistent suggestions. This has really helped to solidify the thought that we are pushing them to find a path that WE find good for them. I want them to know that I hear them loud and clear now and that THEIR happiness is what they should be seeking. We were wrong for being so goal driven with them for the purpose of their security in a ever demanding world. I would like for her to keep these points you have shared in mind through her sessions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have a deep gratitude for your wisdom and example.
Aww thank you so much Angie. That is amazing that you will be watching this together as a family. It will help each person gain more insight into the situation. It sounds like you have a kind heart and a beautiful family. Continue to discuss openly and support one another and everything will fall into place. Please send my blessings to your family and your daughters as well :-)
This story was highly relatable. I grew up Mormon, and I am not bashing Mormons by any stretch as I know many great Mormon people, but I spent the first 25 years of my life trying to be the best Mormon I could be and I always felt uneasy about it. It was because I was trying so hard to believe it when I just couldn't. I had to step back and internalize myself. Immediately after I left that church I went to a therapist who had to help me unlearn things about myself that the religion taught me. I finally became okay with being bi-sexual and not needing a God to feel secure. By the way, it took me over 6 years of therapy to finally be okay with myself, especially after having the all the pressures of being Mormon. I dived deep into Buddhism myself during this time and learned about suffering. I learned coping techniques from both Buddhism and therapy. I finally learned mindfulness and what it truly meant. Now, I look on my past with clarity and realize the good that my Mormon upbringing had on me and I can integrate it with the good and enlightening principles of phycology and Buddhism to have a full life. Thank you, because it was because of Buddhist UA-camr monks like yourself that helped me learn how to mediate and be mindful throughout my days. I wish you and anybody that read this the best. :)
I want to start off by saying that I believe we meet kindreds through our lives. In many different ways, forms and for many different lengths of time. When I find people who share similar stories to mine, I know they’re a kindred. I also was the 111 like on your comment 🤷🏻♀️ it’s a sign to me. I grew up a southern baptist preacher’s daughter and felt so much like I had to be perfect. I had to be the best Christian I could be, because one, my father was the preacher and two, because God was watching me all the time and I had to be good to get to heaven. My dad left when I was a teenager and it sent my life into a whirlwind. I didn’t know up from down, or what was what. I made a lot of poor choices for many years of my life and chose to turn my back on my religion and everything I thought I knew. I chose atheism for a bit and didn’t want anything to do with any sort of “higher power” or ways of thinking. I was very much in the moment, but at the same time, lost in the trauma. I was depressed and suicidal for many years. I was on medication and went to therapy. I married the absolute wrong person, but had a beautiful daughter I adore, and got divorced when she was very young. Things got worse and I could only carry on for my daughter. Some days, it took all I had just to get moving. A few years ago, I had an awakening. I realized that Life is what it is, and that I can choose how I react to it and how I move forward. I was so controlled by my emotions, but kind of like a light switch being flicked, I suddenly remembered I was much more than the feelings that pass through me. I don’t have to attach to them, because they aren’t me. Only a part of my human experience. I’m so happy for you that you have found who you are and are living in your integrity. It’s the ultimate freedom!
I'm a therapist and a HUGE introvert. I also struggle with all the things that led you to seek therapy. It's led to years of fighting off clinical depression and anxiety. I, too, wish our society accepted introverts and showed more appreciation for people like us. Thank you for this.
If my understanding is correct, your wish to be shown more appreciation as it pertains to introverts such as yourself and myself is a desire. And From Desire there is suffering. For me it is not about acceptance. We are the yin and yang. We are the trough and crest that makes the wave. The crest doesn't accept or reject the trough. And the trough doesn't accept or reject the crest. They go together. Yet in some ways they are always separate. But the combination is what makes the wave. At least that's how I see it. I may be incorrect and am always open to more understanding. I hope you have a fulfilled life.
I am a 21 year old who is graduating college with a degree in psychology in 2 weeks. I am at a roadblock in my life where I do not want to peruse commitments to 9-5 jobs that I know I am not passionate about. My friend group is dwindling down. I feel depressed and anxious for feeling unaccomplished and lost. I have so many dreams but don't have the courage to make them a reality. I know I have always had a passion inside me for learning, psychology, philosophy, and helping others. That's why years ago I picked to major in psychology without any knowledge of the field. I don't know how I got lucky enough to be recommended this video, but I think this is the beginning of a new journey for me. Things are about to change.
Thank you so much mai. And congratulations on your schooling. That is wonderful news and a big relief. You are in an incredible place. In the beginning of your career simply just try everything without putting too much pressure on yourself. At this point he don't know what will resonate with you the most. So my suggestion would be to try everything and pay attention to what makes you feel alive and follow the alive feeling. I worked in all types of setting and eventually it led me into working with addictions which I love. So just be open to learning pursue that a life feeling and allow it to take you where it needs to go naturally :-) I hope that helps
i don't want to turn this to myself but this was so strange to read because it describes absolutely the same position o am in right now, accept i'm 22 yrs old, also realizing i'm not sure how to pursue psychology without working in office settings or institutions whose values i don't share. I'm glad to see you're feeling like you're at the start of a new and better chapter and i wish you the best ❤️ i would love to hear what choices you make! and thank you Nick for the advice which speaks to me too 🤗
Hello Mai, hope you're keeping well. If you could pin a point in time which you would say is the cause of the unfulfilment, depression etc could you? I'm not sure I could've when I went through something like that. I would argue it begins earlier than we realise. There is certainly some social/peer pressure trying to caress us into areas the system has laid out for us. That force is being met by some kind of resistance within you, and you can feel that right? I was sooo tired of the human cycle/pattern and thought there was more meaning to it, I felt like it all failed me, it's not until you're on the other side you appreciate and accept it. I practiced eradicating my desires, this helped me understand suffering goes hand in hand with how much you desire, lacking the thing you're chasing if anything. Some time after I stopped chasing, stopped thinking there was something to be had outside of myself, became content in a present state. Unlearning the unnatural, seeing things in a raw, simple way. We are dependant on things external to ourselves, provides us with relativity. I know who/where I am relative to someone else and so on. Hope you get to read this. Likewise to anyone else, I'm open to discussions on it as you may know/inspire me toward something new.
I'm in a similar position and our names might rhyme too! I went into psychology, started working with kids to learn more about their child psychology and realized it would not be as fun to sit in an office all day and talk about people's problems.. I think there are enough people sitting in offices. We need more people that can express their passions the way they want to. I'm still working with kids AND following my crafty passion by starting a business. Thing have not gone as planned to say the least, but I can say that I'm happy. Best of luck to you if you're reading this
Thank you Nick. I am an introvert. This was appreciated and good to be validated on how I feel the way I do. I can’t really say I’ve heard anyone explain it the way you did. This was very helpful.
I am an introvert married to an extrovert so she does all my socializing for me :) Actually, she understands my introvert nature and we fit together quite well. She puts it well; when she goes to a party it inflates her "baloon" but when I go it deflates my "baloon".
Me too, dear person. 🫂 I need ideas on how to pull me out of the past and be more present. I feel shameful and guilty because I haven't been able to let go of resentment and anger about my childhood. Surely it can get better, though! I hope life is getting easier for you and anyone else out there struggling. 💙
Me as well… Im 44 and still learning how to love myself and connect with my inner being. Im also dedicated to teaching my sweet empathetic 11 yr old son that he is okay just the way the Universe intended him to be and he will find his way in this world as long as he is true to himself.
I feel similarly. My therapist is still learning (she’s older but hasn’t been in this role very long), and lately she’s been missing the mark. She’s only doing what makes sense to her, what she believes will be most helpful to me. Maybe she has unconscious biases or is unable to truly put herself in my shoes, sometimes, but doesn’t know that. She and I are both learning many things from each other during our counselor-client relationship, often based on navigating this relationship instead of purely about the content of the therapy work (for me at least). I’m considering becoming a counselor myself some day. She has at times helped me a lot, and other times demonstrated what not to do, or what to do better. I like to think that every counselor might be open to learning from each client. (So maybe a more experienced counselor is preferable)
@@maxd3783 she generally does really well (in my view) of not having a bias, and striving to help. But if I’m struggling greatly and not progressing, as I was for a couple months recently, her approach to helping me felt as though it was based in judgment- instead of empathy, it felt that she was asking me why I was failing, and that each appointment was a review of how I was failing to do what should be very easy, instead of asking why. Of course, I understand that the lens I view the situation through may not be perfectly clear. Maybe it was more my own insecurities. But I know that if she had focused on the “why,” I would have felt that I had a better advocate. We got into a the same repetitive pattern every appointment, and she seemed like she didn’t understand and instead of trying to, just kept assuming I was not moving forward because I didn’t want to. I was severely depressed, so it didn’t feel like a choice. She didn’t talk to me about why I was depressed, and help me through it. (This had to do with my ‘inability’ to do my schoolwork, and it got to the point where I was embarrassed to tell her what was going on, and the appointment felt almost useless altogether)
Just his presence is very calming for me, like even before he started talking, I just felt like he was instilling peace in me. What a very beautiful and powerful person🙏🏽
I am a queer, Buddhist student in seminary studying to be a family therapist. I feel profound gratitude for your video and your vulnerability! Thank you for lifting up the pathogenic light we often cast on introversion, and ESPECIALLY for highlighting that our so-called ‘vices’ and weaknesses are actually our truest strengths. Most importantly, thank your for encouraging me toward authentic listening. 🙏🏾🤍🙏🏾
1. What is my true nature? Hermit, quiet, introvert 2. The way I was designed was ok. There is no need to change myself to fit in. 3. Nurture true nature deeply. 4. Put yourself in the right setting. Being an introvert, best not to be in a party scene.
I had forgotten my true nature. I've been lost and chasing what doesn't fulfill me. Your video helped me remember and see things clearly. I haven't had this clarity in such a long time.
this made me cry. i was struggling to fit in, to be loud and do the repetitive office jobs. It kills me inside. I realized i just want a slow, simple and peaceful life. i pray that i can start being comfortable as myself and do what i love.
I come from an extremely extroverted family. I tried so hard to get past my shyness because I loved them and wanted to be like them. I tried to be funny and charismatic but it came across awkward. I love this because noone has ever really said its ok to be shy. It was always seen as something I needed to work on. This video gives me relief.
I'm literally crying while watching this, thank you for making me realize the root of my depression and anxiety, you know what worse I even thought there was something wrong with me because therapy was not working for me, thank you now I have the direction which is to get to know myself and nurture my temperament, I really needed to hear this
Ive lived in many countries and found there are intro vs extro vert cultures..generally speaking. I found the US really favors extroverts and as an introverted child they even make you feel like you're ill. You may have been much more at peace in a culture like Poland or in Czechia. ..where people look forward to winter, so they can curl up with books or have 1 friend over for tea and a good converasation. As an introvert I found it a very positive experience to live there. I never felt odd and I really enjoyed the silence around me...with people frowning to people who speak loudly. I gained a lot of confidence there..just feeling more normal and at peace. It really is so underestimated how important it is to live within a culture that aligns with one's nature. I also had enough of the US. We can find homes elsewhere, just as you found peace in Thailand.
I'm a new therapist fresh to entering the field. What you say resonates so deeply with me because I can relate so much to lacking self-acceptance despite the fact I help my clients cultivate it within themselves. I had expectations for what my life would be like entering this field--mainly that I would be paid well enough to afford my bills.The truth is that I've been struggling financially. I've compared myself to others--especially my friends, and I've been filled with so much resentment and confusion about my life path and purpose. It's been a deep identity crisis for me. I know that this work is what I am made to do, but I feel like something vital has been missing. The only time I feel connected is with the time I spend with my clients holding space for them. I realize it is the comparison, the desire, the craving and the expectations that I had that far exceeded the reality that have all crushed me under their weight. Meditation has helped free me. Thank you so much for your wisdom and for--in a way--validating my experience.
Ironic that you are an introvert and don't like attention when you're doing these video. You're a strong being for doing these video. Keep on doing it. It helps me a lot🙏
Thank you so much my friend. I think its about finding the right medium. When I create these videos, I'm by myself which is great. haha. I prefer this instead of sharing to a live audience. It's much more simple :)
It's so interesting how different people have been effected by the solitude with covid, my Daughter and I were laughing, I'm so relieved to not have to be social, quite happy to be home alone, where she is losing her mind, she misses all her friends her social life, we're so different! This is wonderful advice, I realized just in the last decade or so, I'm 60, I loathe small talk and although I love Mankind, I have a really hard time with most people lol 😆 💕
I only recently realised I’m an introvert, after years of masking and pretending... I was lucky enough to find a therapist who recognised this, and suggested I read “Quiet - The power of introverts in a world that can’t stoop talking” by Susan cane, which I highly recommend 😘
Thank you. I'm a civil engineer, but at heart I am an artist and a creator, and I always have been. I struggle daily with my office job, but I also fear quitting to follow my passions after becoming accustom to this lifestyle with a good income and benefits, etc.
Hello, I know it may not be feasible to most people with full time jobs, families, etc.. But if you can find time, anytime at all, to work on your passion, eventually you will reach a point where you can start profiting from it. Then as you start to see how it could realistically support you, slowly start transitioning out of your office job and into your full time passion. Again, I know it sounds like crazy talk, but I'm trying it out and it's working so far! Best of luck to you
I do UX and UI design. It is a creative field and comes with good salary and benefits too if you are in the right company. Have you considered this as an option?
I went through the same thing. My therapist advised me to socialise more, join social groups. He said the more I socialised the easier and more natural, more enjoyable it would become. He never once asked me if I was an introvert, I had to figure that one out for myself and now I am going to live a much simpler, stress free lifestyle.
I think CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is geared towards using practical tools to overcoming perceived character flaws or flawed behaviour. It is not very good for cultivating self-compassion! That is why I have a distaste for CBT, and would recommend to engage with a more holistic form of therapy. I think the reason for why CBT became so popular is that it doesn’t probe into the client’s feelings as much as other forms of therapy do, which is a relief for most people, since we are culturally quite emotionally stunted and uncomfortable with expressing and feeling our own emotions!
I think because psychology/therapy has reached a forefront, people often confuse therapy and mental health with spirituality and spiritual health. IMO, they’re closely related the same as physical health and mental health, but are not exactly the same. Psychologist can help you work through trauma and plant the seeds with CBT, but you will always have to go within to find who you are and align yourself spiritually.
@@golo6374 Sure, but CBT in particular is the least spiritual of them all. 😄 CBT is the hardcore atheist's answer to the question of "How do we remove the unsavoury spiritual aspects from the psychoanalysts' clinical work?" because they were looking to make the field of psychology more scientific. So, there is this tension between therapists wanting to help people, but also wanting to be as scientific as possible at the same time, which tends to discount the spirit. This is making me recall - in my university, the mental health counsellor would redirect you to the Christian school pastor if you had any questions about spirituality! 😄 I certainly don't have anything against psychology as a whole, but the attitudes contained within the field are sometimes contradictory, sometimes even downright misleading to the client.
I see your point but remember that you choose to see a therapist about something YOU perceive to be a problem. Not them! If she didn’t teach practical tools then she is teaching avoidance...
@@yewchoob6575 Of course. I’m moreso saying that people often confuse or don’t know where to draw the line between the two. And especially over the internet, there’s a lot of overlap between mental health and spirituality.
These are very similar thoughts I come across during my morning meditations. I often compare myself to any plant in general and remind myself that different plants thrive in different conditions and it is my job to find those conditions in which I can thrive. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This has been a huge cognitive awakening for me 🙏🏼
The irony of the party event he described where he was envious of those that could just thrive in social situations - a lot of those people aren't comfortable in their own skin, and being alone at this time is the worst. But being comfortable in your own space and with yourself, without any need for company, is a powerful and incredibly necessary skill to have. When you're comfortable to be in your own company, you're never alone.
I am fighting with people in work place,because they are not working and for which I am dependent on them.The mindset and working with public sector people in India is terrible.Becauae of this my life is ne coming very tough
I'm the same .For what its worth the best advice I could give would become really quiet & still in yourself (It really works)& "your" direction will become a lot clearer hang there the "answers" will come hope this helps😌
Yes, a good therapist can help so much! I’ve been to several therapists and I also wish some had guided me differently. I’ve figured out that I only enjoy close friendships and do not like public attention. I enjoy connecting with likeminded people one or two ppl at a time. I just can’t do parties…don’t want to, and I finally understand it about myself. I’ve lost friends, let some go…and sometimes I miss them, but I know deep down that I didn’t feel supported by them and that our relationship was meant to end. I just discovered your channel and appreciate your openness and willingness to share.
Well done Nick. Back in the 70s I asked Trungpa Rinpoche what path I should take in my life. I was at the dawning of a promising career in music, but I felt strongly drawn to monasticism and study. He told me plainly to be true to my nature, so I went on to enjoy several decades of music performance... I always kept a 'Buddhist attitude' to life, but I have been dealing with severe pain and disability for a couple decades now, and can appreciate the beauty and simplicity of the choice you have made. Thank you for the window into the life you live. :)
@@tristanbulluss9386 Short answer there is no God in Buddhism, that answer above this is wrong. Buddha was not a God or did not see himself a one. Buddhism is about finding the inner peace, be aware around your surrounding, many cultures has different way of seen this, but the common one is enlightened or awaken human. For ex: Everything you see in the video is a sign to understand Buddhism the awakening one. Buddhism is not a religion.
I love thiis. Cactus, rose. It's taken me 62 years to get back to feeling familiar with my true nature and cultivating that. It's a continuing process. Thank you, Nick. ❤
Orland Bishop talks about asking the question: “ Who do I need to be for you to be you?” in order to host the true self of another. This is how my therapist was for me and what I try to do with my clients now as a psychotherapist. It’s such a pleasure to shine and then see others light up too. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful and heartfelt story of your growth and development!
I am a Ghanaian living in Thailand here for 7 years. i am a Christian. during my studies Buddhism religion was something with is very scared. after years upon years of living in Thailand here my taught and my understanding this religion is different. thank you for your teaching and wish to meet you one day.
I found someone just like me... it's refreshing to know that people exist out there that listen more than speak or waiting to speak. Genuine people who aren't afraid to be... just be your true soul deep down.
This talk really touches my heart. Yes, I never feel like I truly fit in, also my family and friends find it hard to accept that I cant function like 'normal' people because I have mental illness. I've beaten myself up a lot for the past decade, trying to look okay and to make people around me happy, but it never works and that's really painful. I've come to realise that accepting myself, learning to embrace and love myself the way I am - the good the bad and the ugly, is actually the first step to truly heal from within. There's no point to be someone else you're not, just to please everybody around you. Thank you so much Nick, for making this video. It helps me to remember that theres nothing wrong being who we really are; and when we fully embrace this, regardless of what people think, then we will finally find inner peace. 🙏💛
i think most people introduce themselves as their ideal self or who they wish they were and as someone who also struggles in specific social situations i want to be comfortable presenting myself as imperfect which starts with surrounding ones self with people who are able to do the same
Thank you Nick. This is affirming to me as an introvert and also to my son, who is autistic. He has spent his life hearing others tell him that his way of being is not okay and that he needs to learn how to fit in, be less himself and more like "normal" people. I'm glad I have this video to show him. Thank you again.
Awww beautiful Laura. Thank you so much and I'm glad its helpful 🙂🙂🙂Please tell your son hello and that he has nothing to worry about and simply do his best. Being a good, kind, compassionate person is something more important.
I am a Hospice nurse. It's a beautiful profession! I resonate so much to your story. I've been studying Buddhist philosophy for nearly 10 years. I may be there some day. Thanks for your message.
I grew up on the country side of Stockholm, Sweden. I had a great childhood really. I used to play with my brother and a few friends in the forest, Building stuff, fishing, hunting and so on. Now I'm 24 and i work in sales. Meeting about 30 different people every day. And I've learned to enjoy it. Even tho i still feel the need to be by myself as soon as I get home from work. Lately i got promoted to be a manager. And it's been downhill since. As soon as I step on a stage to talk to 20 people i start sweating and can barely talk. And i feel deeply inside me that this doesn't suit me. I'm really handy and creative and i feel that i miss that part. Now when I'm writing this it really doesn't sound that bad. But inside i just want to get away and be by myself. Just inhale fresh air and be alone by the ocean somewhere. Does someone here recognize this feeling? The feeling of not being in the right place. The feeling of being put in the wrong place? I've realized it might have to do with that i don't know myself. My true nature and my design. Thank you for sharing this video. It got me thinking and got me really emotional.
I’m a CBT therapist Nick and I wish your therapist had of shown you an appreciation for who you are exactly the way you. Just as you’ve described in this video. That your introversion isn’t a problem to be solved but a beauty to be embraced. 💛 Much love to you my friend. I adore your work.
@@TimothyGordon oh wow. That's wonderful. I hope to visit Canada one day 😊 and that's wonderful you can help more people online. Keep up the great work tim.
@@nickkeomahavong01 thank you my friend. Please if you plan on coming to Canada; let me know. We’d be happy to host you and show you around our corner. :)
You explained my nature exactly. I'm 69 and wish I heard this a long time ago. I always felt there was something emotionally wrong with me to feel what you described.
Thanks for sharing this Nick. I'm not an introvert, but what you said here really hit home. It's given me some peace at a moment where I needed it, and it's given me a lot to reflect on.
Dear Nick the monk, I have been following your lessons on UA-cam lately. Your words really strengthen the path to purifying the mind. I especially liked this lesson. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart
Yes I also wish any of the therapists I've seen would have taught me these golden life skills. But mostly I wish it was taught in schools from the earliest age possible.
Thank you for passing on your wisdom. Our culture always tries to mold us into something that we are not. It doesn't teach us to accept ourselves. Im glad to be learning this now.
I never knew I was an introvert until my guidance counselor told me - it sounded negative and anti-social the way I perceived it at the time. I felt I had to overcome being a turtle living in his shell as if I was a coward to some extent. I tried the advice of many as Nick had tried, but to no avail, I was a happy turtle living inside my shell. I studied biology and was always content in nature. Now, I ride my bike each day and meditate at the river and connect with the natural dimension. Most people come to me with their problems and I listen. I refrain from talking because I feel I would be boring and most people want someone to listen to them. It makes you more spiritual to do this. I talk to my cat - he doesn't seem to care, but he is there for me most of the time. Thanks Nick for all your life videos - much appreciated here in Colombia, the land of extroverts.
I am reminded of the philosophy of wu wei (effortless action). It equates to the acceptance of who you are...just like recognizing yourself as a rose in the desert. As a therapist, I do my best to help people discover themselves just as I have done for myself. Excellent and wise words, Nick.
This was excellent. I can totally relate to you regarding introversion. I have Asperger’s Syndrome but have faked being sociable all my life. It’s an act but I always felt uneasy and overwhelmed. It was never my true nature. The hardest part is figuring out where exactly I can shine. Your message in this was so inspiring and uplifting!
OMG. You described my "work" life precisely as I experienced it as well. I always dreaded social gatherings. Finally it blossomed into anxiety of social situations and ultimately panic attacks. My therapist never discussed my "true" nature either. (I have always been a "loner" with few very good friends.) My therapist and I worked on coping skills as you described. I learned CBT and it worked for a while, but later in life I found myself in the same earlier situation. Now, in my late 60's I am beginning to discover/accept what my nature truly is and am becoming content with who I have always been. It's like trying to fit a square in a round peg, isn't it? My recent path has been working with meditation and mindfulness and being "true" to myself. Not forcing myself to get into social situations, etc. It is a long journey, but I am becoming "whole" again. Your analogy of the rose/cactus is excellent! Thanks for your messages. I find them very uplifting, therapeutic and helpful.
Awwwe thank you so much pat for sharing. I'm glad you're coming more into yourself and doing what you love. That's wonderful to hear. Greetings to you from Thailand 😊😊
Brother, thank you so much. Thank you. I'm a Muslim, now its Ramadan the holy month of fasting. As a young adult, fasting was easy for me. I fasted with no issue. Then after having my children I got sick. I try to fast each year, but in a few hours, I start falling ill. This morning, I asked, God dont you love me? Am I not worthy of tasting the sweetness of breaking fast? Have I been denied this rank of a believer? Just now I saw your video and clicked on it. I feel lighter.
When it comes to fasting, do your best. But Allah wants your to prioritize your health first. Fasting isn't just about not eating or drinking during the day. Think about others ways you can fast - no backbiting/gossiping, fast from bad thoughts, etc. And remember (if you're financially able to) you can donate money to feed someone else ☺️ Don't beat yourself up, you're doing amazing!
When I was struggling I fasted from social media and anything sweet in my food. It really helped. Fasting is about cleansing. There’s more than one way to do that. God bless
Patterns and cycles of behavior make my heart go pitter-patter too! 💚 Someone once told me in order to have a testimony you have to be tested first. Sounds like you've manifested that in which is true to your nature. Outstanding talk about emotions & feelings there are millions of people that could never have this conversation with themselves. Not to mention to be so moved when speeking about your "true nature" and what makes you shine. I feel your energy is a safe harbor in the midst of many different life storms. 💚
I’m getting to know myself more and more each day. I’m also an introvert, need a lot of alone time, hate small talk, love to read and paint. Thank you 🙏🏻❤️
I didn’t think I’d find a video that would actually help me want to make this change in myself. But the rose in a desert full of cactuses, that spoke volumes. Stop comparing, and start seeing yourself and your reality, clearly as it is. ❤️ thank you for sharing with us, I admire your strength.
@@nickkeomahavong01 another day, & I’m going to be watching your channel every morning, to ensure I can build a healthy routine. I recognized my triggers and the behaviors I exhibit on a daily basis. But my therapist didn’t tell me that either?! I wish you provided sessions virtually (aka if you do let me know). Thank you again. ✨
Reflect back on your life now. What were some insights you learned about yourself that be helpful to someone now?
@Shaun X wonderful 😊😊
Hello Nick ..Very nice video❤️🙏✨🌷 Glad you found your true nature and can share your insights with us.I am still working on mine but learning more and more everyday .For most of my life I was always trying to force myself to be like others so that I could fit in and not stand out.I was a wallflower too ,still am in a way and that's ok.My motto in life is to always learn and evolve ..Don't close your mind cause that's when you become ignorant & judgemental.
Nick keomahavong i have a question if you harm some animals but its not habitual will you be punished in the afterlife?
@@carolyn6689 Thank you so much my friend. Continue to shine :)
@@michaelantoine4057 There would be some effects.
People always tell introverts t'be more talkative & leave their comfort zones-yet no one tells extroverts t'shut up & make the zone comfortable.
:-) that's quite an interesting perspective. Haha
So true. It took me some time to realize this. A very close friend of mine is very introverted. I would often get upset with her if she didn’t want to join me when with a larger group. I do understand her now and we spend time together just the two of us when we can.
@@KarenMartinez-mo8bu I'm glad that you did that for her, it takes a lot of insight to be able to realize this and make the neccessary changes to make them feel comfortable
I have tried but they don’t listen lol
Forreal though
“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago” -alan watts
Ik this isn't what watts is really saying. But what if we could just change our whole ass personality in five minutes on a whim lol
do I remember what I was 10 minutes ago 😅😊
@@phoenixjones7191 Why? And I meant why would you need or want to change yourself. Do you mean change your persona [or how you "appear"? Is that what you would wish to change? I could be wrong but staying as you "are" might be far superior.. just sayin. Being true to yourself. I have not finished listening to this video yet..
@@beckyandrus3977 issa joke
When you were a child, you could, and you did change your whole ass personality in five minutes. You were a totally different person depending on who you were with and what was expected of you. When you truly embrace that who you are is no-one, you can be anyone. Fundamentally, "Who I am" and "Buddhism" are concepts that cannot exist in the same person at once, he's made the first step of not trying to be someone that he isn't, but he hasn't taken the transformative step of realizing that who he is is no one, but he's putting in the work, he's where he needs to be.
“It is just as rude to tell an introvert to talk more as it is to tell an extrovert to shut up.” -YES. AMEN TO THAT.
@RosesAreBlue this brings memories of when my ex shamed me for not talking much at her family meetings
@RosesAreBlue hot damn, I relate a lot. At a birthday party, I was very reserved since there were many people around and my social anxiety was still strong that time, this friend of mine kept asking in such a condescending tone-- in front of the others no less-- why I was being so quiet. I didn't answer, because I didn't know why either. "Why are you so loud?" I wish I had asked her. My mom is also an extrovert and she's forced me all my life to be more social and smile more. It's so draining, but thankfully I've come to accept my introverted nature, and I've found others who accept that as well. Extroverts may be sociable, but that doesn't mean they're sensitive of how others feel. And most of them definitely aren't so sensitive, sadly:(
It is yes, its like saying i dont like your personality be more like us
I think it is rude to tell that to other introverts, but I have said it to myself as an introvert, and am glad I did. I practiced and got better making chit-chat over time, which is a life skill (fair or not), to the point that I now speak decent “pot luck chatter” (though I will never light up a room). I agree with what he is saying, but there is a fine line between “be yourself” and “if something is hard for you, just accept that, never practice and avoid that situation.”
Introverts gift is internal to think as extroverted is to learn.
I sometimes feel like my whole self is nothing more than a giant collection of coping skills.
☺️
I know this feeling. Sending love.
Do you want to change that?
Exactly! I'm trying to discern which one's hurt more than help me now. Coping like I do helped me at one point.
I get it
I had a consult with a psychiatrist late last year. For the first time in my 39 years, I heard the words "You don't have to try to be a social person anymore. You've put yourself out there, you've tried that and learned that it isn't you. And that is okay." I cried so hard, I felt so freed by that. I love people, but that doesn't mean I have to be a social butterfly to belong or be a part of humanity.
I'm glad that was helpful. It takes the weight off your shoulders. That's wonderful to hear :-)
❤️
it's amazing to know psychiatrists can make such an impact because it's my dream to be one and they are shit on a lot. I'm so glad you feel better
That is a very insightful and wise clinician!
Therapists have to operate within an ethical framework,.
Generally & traditionally a therapist’s job is not about a client’s nature of being... that’s more a buddhist/spiritual guru/Alan Watts etc. A therapist works with the human psyche; it’s problem/patterns/blocks/phobias etc focused and resolving issues that impact everyday life.
CBT is solution focused. Few therapists (sadly) will question whether the issue is really an issue at all societally... because it’s invalidating the client’s feelings. They’re more likely to question ‘why’ it’s an issue (which, if done right, can help the client to reassess their own reality/perception and values to see for themselves IF it really is an issue at all).
I’m a therapist and spiritual (for want of a better word). During my training, the lecturers would roll their eyes at anything remotely outside of the accepted norm. I fought them on many fronts including my belief that reality was subjective. This was hotly refuted by my lecturers but I persisted all the same. Luckily the exam board was more open minded and my thesis won some recognition.
I applaud this psychiatrist for thinking outside the box and entering the client’s frame of reference!
Any therapeutic theory should evolve to fit the client... instead of making client fit the theory! That was my big argument with psychoanalysis! But the profession does have its limited framework/boundaries, as a duty of care.
With regards to our nature of being and in my humble opinion - the things we resonate with and/or feel a passion for is often our soul showing us our direction, and we are free to explore that, which often takes courage and a leap of faith. It’s a magical way to exist in this world... to be fully present and follow the energy; finding a way to express your authentic self as your own unique gift to this world.
To exist and coexist freely and expansively, beyond labels and society’s collective and restrictive ‘norms’.
As long as we’re not harming other life beings (and that doesn’t include disappointing the expectations of others for following your own path), you are free. We are vast and magnificent beyond all human imagining and not confined to the expectations of a small mind.
Many who are naturally gifted and truly connected (tuned) to greater consciousness and feel some innate calling do shy away from superficial social gatherings (because it’s ego noise that disturbs our higher vibration). Some limit themselves to very few necessary social gatherings - where we can learn and can often amuse ourselves ;)
There is also the paradox, where after a certain point many are able to withstand the noise of societal noise and maintain their vibration. They can coexist with everything around them where they’re both a part of it and beyond it... without considering themselves special or separate.
If you change and drop much of what you represented to become more authentic to yourself (which is a life long journey by the way, because we are boundless, we change with every experience). Some people will judge you, even worry that you are depressed or have completely lost your mind. After a while however, they will feel your peace and light and some unfathomable healing vibration in your presence... they will begin to ask how they themselves can achieve that.
No matter what the rest of the world is doing Let your light shine. Remember we are always creating... nothing is ever wasted, even when we’re standing still, we create stillness 🌟
Wow wow wow. I am not a social person & it is good to know you have found a good therapist connection
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" -A wise man
That wise man was Albert Einstein.
I love this. 😂
Great saying. May be better to say, "but if a fish judges itself by it's ability to...
Wow... Profound...
@@Piku0055 Einstein never said that.
I’m happiest after work when I am home alone with my dog in the safety and comfort of my apartment. I need to let go of the idea that I am wasting my life away because I am not out there constantly doing things like some of my extroverted friends and family. I am OK as-is.
@Valentina Rose Especially these days when the world has gone mad. I’ll stay home after work, thanks.
You're perfect as you are🧡
My friend an Artist told me this advice, “ just do you”. I love it!
Same here, except I don’t feel alone because I’m with my dog. My best friend through pandemic.
You can choose to be happy AT ALL TIMES, even at work. Change your perspective and you change your mind. Feel the gratitude of being alive. Don't let any other person's expectations affect your mindset. You can be happy no matter what happens. It's your choice and your choice alone. ☮️
I am just overcome with tears. Every part of my body is just filled with emotion watching this video. I struggle emotionally but after watching this I feel a great weight lifted. I hope this is the beginning of my healing
Wonderful Mark. I'm glad you can connect. Glad it's helpful 😊😊
This is powerful ! Thank you for this.
Ditto 🫂
same here!
I felt emotional too and scared and a little shocked that I can relate to nick so intimatley
Yep. Introverts are very misunderstood. We are not shy, we are not cowards. Quite the opposite. It is about how we process stimuli and energy. I love being with people, and going to parties. BUT IN SMALL DOSES! Being with people is de-energizing to introverts. It is exhausting. I just need a lot of alone time. So, I live alone, and can control the dosing of being with others.
Well stated my friend :)
I can relate. My own personal struggle is that, not only am I an introvert, but I was also socially sheltered most of my life and have social anxiety. While I crave more interaction, I am confused about how to meet my needs, given my own condition and also feeling like the world around me is designed “for extroverts, by extroverts.” It seems like we need more social literacy in our culture, in many ways- teaching about introversion vs extroversion, etc.
But this video has really spoken to me, and given me something to think about.
@@90MysteriumFascinans "given my own condition and also feeling like the world around me is designed “for extroverts, by extroverts.” I relate to what you expressed there and feel it is all too true. I believe extroverts have nearnly every advantage in society, if you go by society's rules. But here's the thing that popped into my mind when i read what you said: would it be easier to A) change society, or to B) change myself? My answer is B). However, if I change myself, aren't I actually changing the entire world too?
@@90MysteriumFascinans how do I thumbs-up this more than once. Seriously, UA-cam needs to switch to the model used by Medium: Claps - give as many as you like
But I AM shy.. Besides being an introvert
Years of therapy. Illness, and suffering. Hundreds of doctors And I’ve never found such a profound realization occur within my life. Thank you from the deepest depths of my soul.
Wow that is so great to hear. I'm glad it was helpful for you. Thank you so much and greetings to you all the way from Thailand :-) be safe my friend
This is perfect ❤️. I'm a therapist. When I work with introverted patients we don't work on being extroverted, we work on how to recharge batteries when we have to be social and accepting that we have to set loving boundaries with people who want to change us. There's balance in the universe and if we were all social butterflies, that would not be balanced. For light there is dark, for noise there is silence, and for yin there is yang. We all have a place and our place is no less valid than anyone else's. I'm definitely taking you with me and asking some of my patients to watch this. Thank you. ❤️
This is beautiful jessica. That's wonderful work you are doing. Your writing made me smile😊
Keep up the great work.
I was married to someone who was extremely extroverted. He felt he needed to be entertained or be social as much as he could, and I was taken along for the ride. I enjoyed very few of those activities, and now I understand why. I am wired differently. I enjoy being social sometimes, but with small, select groups of people. But mostly I enjoy my own company, being peaceful.
@@nickkeomahavong01 k6k66u66
😊@@karenrawlings2051😅😊😊
I found your talk so useful. I am 62 years old and have always felt shy. I have criticised and beat myself up for feeling so awkward. Maybe now, I will learn to except myself as I am. Thank you.
Thank you so much elizabeth 😊😊 I'm glad it's helpful. Greetings to you from Thailand
accept?
You are just the way God created you to be. Dont allow anyone to change who you are. I am happy to be learning that we all can accept ourselves just as we are.
I feel the same at 69.
I love birds
I would never want to change them
I need to love myself
Like I love birds
Idk, I think it'd be cool if birds had little arms.
I want to sing like the birds, not caring who listens, or what they think - Rumi
This is beautiful 😭🐦🌳
Oh. This touched me.
Perfectly said
As a former Mental Health Nurse and a student of Psychology, I just wanted to say this video is ABSOLUTE GOLD! Blessings.
👍#ABS🌟LUTE‼👌 Grateful.
This was such an eye opening perspective. "If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." Maybe I'm just a fish, who has been trying to climb a tree, a rose trying to be a cactus. I need to turn around, realize, accept and work WITH who I am.
Wonderful sabrina. You hit it on the head. Well done :-)
Notice what you're not so well at doing, so you can find handicaps for your shortcomings. Notice what you're well at, and play to those strengths. This is how you honor your nature. Most believe they need to be smart, and intelligent.. But even a chef can be a genius with food, but dull in other areas.. The point is, let the part of you that is a genius shine. Pursuing things outside of your nature doesn't work well. & Life is good at telling you, you dont fit in. Pay attention.
This is a priceless therapy session, and i paid nothing,thank you nick,keep shining for the world
sadhu sadhu 🙂🙂🙂 glad it's helpful
Let me just say that: Your true nature is absolutely beautiful.
Sadhu Sadhu 😊😊 thank you so much
As a practicing buddhist and a therapist this was incredibly illuminating and helpful.
It will change the way I'll try and help my clients (as well as myself).
I cannot *thank you* enough for sharing this with us!!
Awwwe this makes me happy to hear. I'm glad you can have another tool at your disposal to help yourself and your clients 😊😊
Greetings to you from Thailand.
Exactly
scary, you just described me exactly. What's even more weird is I have been telling my friend that this covid experience has really been nice for me since I can't go out. Like it's actually ok to be a hermit, in fact, it's encouraged. I wish I could be a monk like you
Oh wow. yes I can definitely relate to you. When things improve, feel free to come visit us for meditation or ordination in thailand :)
@@nickkeomahavong01 Thank you. I am looking into it now
Agree with you George! I like this Covid-19 “lifestyle”, too. I don’t want things to go back to “normal”. Earth is suffering and this virus is a humanity reset. Thank you 🦠!
@@onlyinparadise4613 I understand completely
I am actually enjoying this covid "lifestyle" as well. I feel a lot more peaceful, I enjoy the quiet, and I love the anonymity that the mask brings when I'm in public.
I find that the most peaceful moments are when I am alone surrounded by silence at night with all distractions off and the only other being in the room being my cat.
Me too ❤
Me too, being at home with my cats after work makes me feel complete. 🙂❤
Whenever I try to push myself to act like an extrovert, it always backfires. Solitude brings me peace.
Solitude is wonderful :-)
Yes same
I have been an extrovert for over half of my life, and l love solitude, silence, and being on my own too most of the time.
Both have their attractions, and benefits.
@@judykraska400 Yes balance is important. We should do whatever makes us feel most alive. :)
something i love as much as solitude is the deep connection you can have with other people in small groups or one on one. Big groups leave me feeling drained but small hangouts with people im close to leave me energized as much as solitude!
Don’t compare, don’t try to fit in. Just find an enjoy the light within yourself. 🙏
Yesss! You got it 😊😊😊
Then you will find yourself looking for another job because you are different.
I cried when you said, “You are honoring YOU!” I have a heavy heart and I am trying the best I can in my environment. I needed to hear this today. I am blessed that you came across my suggestions. 🙏
Thank you and hang in there my friend :-) cheering you on all the way from Thailand. And welcome to the channel.
You got this! 🥰❤️🙏🏻
You’re describing my experience exactly as an autistic person. Before I knew I was autistic I suffered so much trying to force myself to fit into those kind of uncomfortable situations but now I thrive because I understand so much more about myself, like my strengths and what brings me joy. I love being autistic! ✌🏼💚
Nick, listening to you made me reflect upon the sad fact that such a large part of Western society is built around NOT accepting and cultivating your true self. If you are insecure, scared and sad, it will be easier for others to control you, make you live and work in a certain way, buy things and so on. I also love when you say "The fabric you are made of". Such a beautiful metaphor
Thank you Hanna. This is why it's so important for us to develop mindfulness and meditation practice. It will help to guide us
We are getting there! People are waking up.
As a fellow introvert, you took the words right out of my mouth! Nothing wrong with being the gentle quiet one, shame so many societies put such high currency on being the loud, jovial, life-of-the-party type...I guess it's a yin-yang type thing, you need one for the other to even exist.
Yes definitely, we need both :)
Yes, when he said he quietly leaves to avoid the attention... Felt that... Therapists/ family/co-workers etc, push to throw us into the mix, not realizing we are ALL designed differently. We are all an example of something to someone, when we see ourselves as whole instead of in pieces, something about it feels very grounding... it felt like a chore going to therapy...had to take some time to myself to understand myself...Thank you for sharing, very inspiring. Be well.
Understand that most things people do and say to you are a reflection of their own struggles, and usually it's not even about you. This is why it's important to be authentic and comfortable with youself
I needed to hear this for my daughters. We will be watching this life changing video as a family tonight. My oldest is in her 20's and is getting ready to start sessions with a life coach due to our persistent suggestions. This has really helped to solidify the thought that we are pushing them to find a path that WE find good for them. I want them to know that I hear them loud and clear now and that THEIR happiness is what they should be seeking. We were wrong for being so goal driven with them for the purpose of their security in a ever demanding world. I would like for her to keep these points you have shared in mind through her sessions. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have a deep gratitude for your wisdom and example.
Aww thank you so much Angie. That is amazing that you will be watching this together as a family. It will help each person gain more insight into the situation. It sounds like you have a kind heart and a beautiful family. Continue to discuss openly and support one another and everything will fall into place. Please send my blessings to your family and your daughters as well :-)
This story was highly relatable. I grew up Mormon, and I am not bashing Mormons by any stretch as I know many great Mormon people, but I spent the first 25 years of my life trying to be the best Mormon I could be and I always felt uneasy about it. It was because I was trying so hard to believe it when I just couldn't. I had to step back and internalize myself. Immediately after I left that church I went to a therapist who had to help me unlearn things about myself that the religion taught me. I finally became okay with being bi-sexual and not needing a God to feel secure. By the way, it took me over 6 years of therapy to finally be okay with myself, especially after having the all the pressures of being Mormon. I dived deep into Buddhism myself during this time and learned about suffering. I learned coping techniques from both Buddhism and therapy. I finally learned mindfulness and what it truly meant. Now, I look on my past with clarity and realize the good that my Mormon upbringing had on me and I can integrate it with the good and enlightening principles of phycology and Buddhism to have a full life. Thank you, because it was because of Buddhist UA-camr monks like yourself that helped me learn how to mediate and be mindful throughout my days. I wish you and anybody that read this the best. :)
I want to start off by saying that I believe we meet kindreds through our lives. In many different ways, forms and for many different lengths of time. When I find people who share similar stories to mine, I know they’re a kindred. I also was the 111 like on your comment 🤷🏻♀️ it’s a sign to me. I grew up a southern baptist preacher’s daughter and felt so much like I had to be perfect. I had to be the best Christian I could be, because one, my father was the preacher and two, because God was watching me all the time and I had to be good to get to heaven. My dad left when I was a teenager and it sent my life into a whirlwind. I didn’t know up from down, or what was what. I made a lot of poor choices for many years of my life and chose to turn my back on my religion and everything I thought I knew. I chose atheism for a bit and didn’t want anything to do with any sort of “higher power” or ways of thinking. I was very much in the moment, but at the same time, lost in the trauma. I was depressed and suicidal for many years. I was on medication and went to therapy. I married the absolute wrong person, but had a beautiful daughter I adore, and got divorced when she was very young. Things got worse and I could only carry on for my daughter. Some days, it took all I had just to get moving. A few years ago, I had an awakening. I realized that Life is what it is, and that I can choose how I react to it and how I move forward. I was so controlled by my emotions, but kind of like a light switch being flicked, I suddenly remembered I was much more than the feelings that pass through me. I don’t have to attach to them, because they aren’t me. Only a part of my human experience. I’m so happy for you that you have found who you are and are living in your integrity. It’s the ultimate freedom!
I'm a therapist and a HUGE introvert. I also struggle with all the things that led you to seek therapy. It's led to years of fighting off clinical depression and anxiety. I, too, wish our society accepted introverts and showed more appreciation for people like us. Thank you for this.
You're welcome. Thank you so much :-)
Society never will, so the lesson is for you to accept yourself and thrive.
If my understanding is correct, your wish to be shown more appreciation as it pertains to introverts such as yourself and myself is a desire. And From Desire there is suffering. For me it is not about acceptance. We are the yin and yang. We are the trough and crest that makes the wave. The crest doesn't accept or reject the trough. And the trough doesn't accept or reject the crest. They go together. Yet in some ways they are always separate. But the combination is what makes the wave.
At least that's how I see it. I may be incorrect and am always open to more understanding. I hope you have a fulfilled life.
I am a 21 year old who is graduating college with a degree in psychology in 2 weeks. I am at a roadblock in my life where I do not want to peruse commitments to 9-5 jobs that I know I am not passionate about. My friend group is dwindling down. I feel depressed and anxious for feeling unaccomplished and lost. I have so many dreams but don't have the courage to make them a reality. I know I have always had a passion inside me for learning, psychology, philosophy, and helping others. That's why years ago I picked to major in psychology without any knowledge of the field.
I don't know how I got lucky enough to be recommended this video, but I think this is the beginning of a new journey for me. Things are about to change.
Thank you so much mai. And congratulations on your schooling. That is wonderful news and a big relief. You are in an incredible place. In the beginning of your career simply just try everything without putting too much pressure on yourself. At this point he don't know what will resonate with you the most. So my suggestion would be to try everything and pay attention to what makes you feel alive and follow the alive feeling. I worked in all types of setting and eventually it led me into working with addictions which I love. So just be open to learning pursue that a life feeling and allow it to take you where it needs to go naturally :-) I hope that helps
i don't want to turn this to myself but this was so strange to read because it describes absolutely the same position o am in right now, accept i'm 22 yrs old, also realizing i'm not sure how to pursue psychology without working in office settings or institutions whose values i don't share. I'm glad to see you're feeling like you're at the start of a new and better chapter and i wish you the best ❤️ i would love to hear what choices you make! and thank you Nick for the advice which speaks to me too 🤗
meditate 💖 its changed my life
Hello Mai, hope you're keeping well. If you could pin a point in time which you would say is the cause of the unfulfilment, depression etc could you? I'm not sure I could've when I went through something like that. I would argue it begins earlier than we realise. There is certainly some social/peer pressure trying to caress us into areas the system has laid out for us. That force is being met by some kind of resistance within you, and you can feel that right? I was sooo tired of the human cycle/pattern and thought there was more meaning to it, I felt like it all failed me, it's not until you're on the other side you appreciate and accept it. I practiced eradicating my desires, this helped me understand suffering goes hand in hand with how much you desire, lacking the thing you're chasing if anything. Some time after I stopped chasing, stopped thinking there was something to be had outside of myself, became content in a present state. Unlearning the unnatural, seeing things in a raw, simple way. We are dependant on things external to ourselves, provides us with relativity. I know who/where I am relative to someone else and so on. Hope you get to read this. Likewise to anyone else, I'm open to discussions on it as you may know/inspire me toward something new.
I'm in a similar position and our names might rhyme too! I went into psychology, started working with kids to learn more about their child psychology and realized it would not be as fun to sit in an office all day and talk about people's problems.. I think there are enough people sitting in offices. We need more people that can express their passions the way they want to. I'm still working with kids AND following my crafty passion by starting a business. Thing have not gone as planned to say the least, but I can say that I'm happy. Best of luck to you if you're reading this
Thank you Nick. I am an introvert. This was appreciated and good to be validated on how I feel the way I do. I can’t really say I’ve heard anyone explain it the way you did. This was very helpful.
I am an introvert married to an extrovert so she does all my socializing for me :) Actually, she understands my introvert nature and we fit together quite well. She puts it well; when she goes to a party it inflates her "baloon" but when I go it deflates my "baloon".
Don’t know if someone is reading this or not, but if you are... You are amazing and beautiful! I believe in you! ❤️
😊😊
Thank you, right back atcha 🙏🦄
Thank you for taking the time to give encouragement. The same for you too & blessing to come to you.
Thank You the same to you too!! 🙏😊
sigh...I wish I had had ANY adult around when I was a child with wisdom like this. Thank you.
Me too, dear person. 🫂 I need ideas on how to pull me out of the past and be more present. I feel shameful and guilty because I haven't been able to let go of resentment and anger about my childhood. Surely it can get better, though! I hope life is getting easier for you and anyone else out there struggling. 💙
@@randomazed don't waste your precious emo energy feeling shameful & guilty!
Me as well… Im 44 and still learning how to love myself and connect with my inner being. Im also dedicated to teaching my sweet empathetic 11 yr old son that he is okay just the way the Universe intended him to be and he will find his way in this world as long as he is true to himself.
Same thing with “isolating”; many will tell you it’s not good. But, it can be exactly what someone needs… ❤️🙏 silence, stillness, and solitude. 😊
My therapist taught me that she's got a lot more lessons to learn. And to find a therapist who practices compassion and empathy.
Oh interesting...
Thank you so much for sharing, it helps to know that there's more people feeling the same as me.
I feel similarly. My therapist is still learning (she’s older but hasn’t been in this role very long), and lately she’s been missing the mark.
She’s only doing what makes sense to her, what she believes will be most helpful to me. Maybe she has unconscious biases or is unable to truly put herself in my shoes, sometimes, but doesn’t know that.
She and I are both learning many things from each other during our counselor-client relationship, often based on navigating this relationship instead of purely about the content of the therapy work (for me at least).
I’m considering becoming a counselor myself some day. She has at times helped me a lot, and other times demonstrated what not to do, or what to do better. I like to think that every counselor might be open to learning from each client.
(So maybe a more experienced counselor is preferable)
@@90MysteriumFascinans why will she have a bias against you ? If she is helping you ?
@@maxd3783 she generally does really well (in my view) of not having a bias, and striving to help.
But if I’m struggling greatly and not progressing, as I was for a couple months recently, her approach to helping me felt as though it was based in judgment- instead of empathy, it felt that she was asking me why I was failing, and that each appointment was a review of how I was failing to do what should be very easy, instead of asking why.
Of course, I understand that the lens I view the situation through may not be perfectly clear. Maybe it was more my own insecurities. But I know that if she had focused on the “why,” I would have felt that I had a better advocate. We got into a the same repetitive pattern every appointment, and she seemed like she didn’t understand and instead of trying to, just kept assuming I was not moving forward because I didn’t want to. I was severely depressed, so it didn’t feel like a choice. She didn’t talk to me about why I was depressed, and help me through it. (This had to do with my ‘inability’ to do my schoolwork, and it got to the point where I was embarrassed to tell her what was going on, and the appointment felt almost useless altogether)
If it’s ok for you to be you, then maybe it’s ok for me to just be me, and maybe everybody can stop TRYING to be, and just BE.
YESSSS!
Beautiful
Just his presence is very calming for me, like even before he started talking, I just felt like he was instilling peace in me. What a very beautiful and powerful person🙏🏽
I am a queer, Buddhist student in seminary studying to be a family therapist. I feel profound gratitude for your video and your vulnerability!
Thank you for lifting up the pathogenic light we often cast on introversion, and ESPECIALLY for highlighting that our so-called ‘vices’ and weaknesses are actually our truest strengths.
Most importantly, thank your for encouraging me toward authentic listening. 🙏🏾🤍🙏🏾
Aww thank you so much AJ. Appreciate the support :)
1. What is my true nature?
Hermit, quiet, introvert
2. The way I was designed was ok.
There is no need to change myself to fit in.
3. Nurture true nature deeply.
4. Put yourself in the right setting.
Being an introvert, best not to be in a party scene.
Wonderful :-)
Thank you for reminding me that sometimes we try to fit in places we don't truly belong and it can cause us suffering.
I had forgotten my true nature. I've been lost and chasing what doesn't fulfill me. Your video helped me remember and see things clearly. I haven't had this clarity in such a long time.
I get you
Exactly
this made me cry. i was struggling to fit in, to be loud and do the repetitive office jobs. It kills me inside. I realized i just want a slow, simple and peaceful life. i pray that i can start being comfortable as myself and do what i love.
I'm glad this video resonates with you my friend :)
I come from an extremely extroverted family. I tried so hard to get past my shyness because I loved them and wanted to be like them. I tried to be funny and charismatic but it came across awkward. I love this because noone has ever really said its ok to be shy. It was always seen as something I needed to work on. This video gives me relief.
Thank you so much Marie for sharing. I can definitely relate :-)
Amen. Took me 5 decades to finally understand that I am an introvert and that is completely OK.
I'm literally crying while watching this, thank you for making me realize the root of my depression and anxiety, you know what worse I even thought there was something wrong with me because therapy was not working for me, thank you now I have the direction which is to get to know myself and nurture my temperament, I really needed to hear this
Ive lived in many countries and found there are intro vs extro vert cultures..generally speaking. I found the US really favors extroverts and as an introverted child they even make you feel like you're ill. You may have been much more at peace in a culture like Poland or in Czechia. ..where people look forward to winter, so they can curl up with books or have 1 friend over for tea and a good converasation. As an introvert I found it a very positive experience to live there. I never felt odd and I really enjoyed the silence around me...with people frowning to people who speak loudly. I gained a lot of confidence there..just feeling more normal and at peace. It really is so underestimated how important it is to live within a culture that aligns with one's nature. I also had enough of the US. We can find homes elsewhere, just as you found peace in Thailand.
Wow I really resonate with curling up with a book and having 1 friend over for tea. That sounds fantastic 😊
Beautiful! Thank you! "Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are." - Chinese proverb.
Beautiful quote my friend 😊
I'm a new therapist fresh to entering the field. What you say resonates so deeply with me because I can relate so much to lacking self-acceptance despite the fact I help my clients cultivate it within themselves. I had expectations for what my life would be like entering this field--mainly that I would be paid well enough to afford my bills.The truth is that I've been struggling financially. I've compared myself to others--especially my friends, and I've been filled with so much resentment and confusion about my life path and purpose. It's been a deep identity crisis for me. I know that this work is what I am made to do, but I feel like something vital has been missing. The only time I feel connected is with the time I spend with my clients holding space for them. I realize it is the comparison, the desire, the craving and the expectations that I had that far exceeded the reality that have all crushed me under their weight. Meditation has helped free me. Thank you so much for your wisdom and for--in a way--validating my experience.
Thank you so much. I’m glad the video was helpful. Please keep up the wonderful work you are doing with your clients. No need to compare to others 😊
Possibly the most helpful video I have EVER seen! Wow I am actually normal! 🤎
sadhu sadhu. thank you so much Vicky 🙂🙂🙂 I'm glad it's helpful.
Thank you for reminding me that it’s okay to just be me.
Thank you so much. I'm glad it resonates with you :-)
Who else could be you the way you do. ✨✨✨shine!
Ironic that you are an introvert and don't like attention when you're doing these video. You're a strong being for doing these video. Keep on doing it. It helps me a lot🙏
Thank you so much my friend. I think its about finding the right medium. When I create these videos, I'm by myself which is great. haha. I prefer this instead of sharing to a live audience. It's much more simple :)
I don't see the irony. He said he likes in-depth discussion. He's sharing intimate experience and speaking alone.
@@cassietang8130 it can be challenging to put yourself out there on the internet.
@@kayligo that's true too
Introvert moment: People tell you to be more outgoing, and when you do they look at you sideways and say “I’ve never heard you say that before”
To be able to hold someone else’s suffering is such a valuable gift, thank you
Sadhu Sadhu 😊😊 thank you so much Trisha
It's so interesting how different people have been effected by the solitude with covid, my Daughter and I were laughing, I'm so relieved to not have to be social, quite happy to be home alone, where she is losing her mind, she misses all her friends her social life, we're so different! This is wonderful advice, I realized just in the last decade or so, I'm 60, I loathe small talk and although I love Mankind, I have a really hard time with most people lol 😆 💕
Yes our temperament can be so different :-)
I only recently realised I’m an introvert, after years of masking and pretending... I was lucky enough to find a therapist who recognised this, and suggested I read “Quiet - The power of introverts in a world that can’t stoop talking” by Susan cane, which I highly recommend 😘
Thank you. I'm a civil engineer, but at heart I am an artist and a creator, and I always have been. I struggle daily with my office job, but I also fear quitting to follow my passions after becoming accustom to this lifestyle with a good income and benefits, etc.
Hello, I know it may not be feasible to most people with full time jobs, families, etc.. But if you can find time, anytime at all, to work on your passion, eventually you will reach a point where you can start profiting from it. Then as you start to see how it could realistically support you, slowly start transitioning out of your office job and into your full time passion. Again, I know it sounds like crazy talk, but I'm trying it out and it's working so far! Best of luck to you
@@cosmicrais Thats not crazy-thats smart
I do UX and UI design. It is a creative field and comes with good salary and benefits too if you are in the right company. Have you considered this as an option?
Hi Rai
Feel free to reach out to me about this. Maybe I can help you.
I went through the same thing. My therapist advised me to socialise more, join social groups. He said the more I socialised the easier and more natural, more enjoyable it would become. He never once asked me if I was an introvert, I had to figure that one out for myself and now I am going to live a much simpler, stress free lifestyle.
Thanks for sharing!!
I think CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) is geared towards using practical tools to overcoming perceived character flaws or flawed behaviour. It is not very good for cultivating self-compassion! That is why I have a distaste for CBT, and would recommend to engage with a more holistic form of therapy. I think the reason for why CBT became so popular is that it doesn’t probe into the client’s feelings as much as other forms of therapy do, which is a relief for most people, since we are culturally quite emotionally stunted and uncomfortable with expressing and feeling our own emotions!
😊
I think because psychology/therapy has reached a forefront, people often confuse therapy and mental health with spirituality and spiritual health. IMO, they’re closely related the same as physical health and mental health, but are not exactly the same.
Psychologist can help you work through trauma and plant the seeds with CBT, but you will always have to go within to find who you are and align yourself spiritually.
@@golo6374 Sure, but CBT in particular is the least spiritual of them all. 😄 CBT is the hardcore atheist's answer to the question of "How do we remove the unsavoury spiritual aspects from the psychoanalysts' clinical work?" because they were looking to make the field of psychology more scientific. So, there is this tension between therapists wanting to help people, but also wanting to be as scientific as possible at the same time, which tends to discount the spirit. This is making me recall - in my university, the mental health counsellor would redirect you to the Christian school pastor if you had any questions about spirituality! 😄 I certainly don't have anything against psychology as a whole, but the attitudes contained within the field are sometimes contradictory, sometimes even downright misleading to the client.
I see your point but remember that you choose to see a therapist about something YOU perceive to be a problem. Not them! If she didn’t teach practical tools then she is teaching avoidance...
@@yewchoob6575 Of course. I’m moreso saying that people often confuse or don’t know where to draw the line between the two. And especially over the internet, there’s a lot of overlap between mental health and spirituality.
These are very similar thoughts I come across during my morning meditations. I often compare myself to any plant in general and remind myself that different plants thrive in different conditions and it is my job to find those conditions in which I can thrive. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This has been a huge cognitive awakening for me 🙏🏼
That is so wonderful to hear Lucy. I'm glad it was helpful. Thank you so much. Hope you're doing well :-)
He speaks with each word has importance and it's own place. interesting and helpful
I’m a psychologist/therapist, and I could not agree more with your conclusions. 👍🏻
Thank you!
Sadhu Sadhu 😊😊 thank you so much my friend.
The irony of the party event he described where he was envious of those that could just thrive in social situations - a lot of those people aren't comfortable in their own skin, and being alone at this time is the worst. But being comfortable in your own space and with yourself, without any need for company, is a powerful and incredibly necessary skill to have. When you're comfortable to be in your own company, you're never alone.
Yes, being comfortable in your own skin is definitely ideal :-)
I just resigned from my toxic workplace and I am lost, I don't know the right direction to go to. Your videos give me comfort. :)
Thank you so much. Just take some time to get clarity. It will all work out 😊
I am fighting with people in work place,because they are not working and for which I am dependent on them.The mindset and working with public sector people in India is terrible.Becauae of this my life is ne coming very tough
I'm the same .For what its worth the best advice I could give would become really quiet & still in yourself (It really works)& "your" direction will become a lot clearer hang there the "answers" will come hope this helps😌
Trust the process of life. If you left because you didn't feel like it was good for you, then you did the right thing. Go with your gut
It was brave for you to leave. Detoxify, gain peace, gain strength. Grow gradually, like a plant. You will find a new path. God bless. ☺
Yes, a good therapist can help so much! I’ve been to several therapists and I also wish some had guided me differently.
I’ve figured out that I only enjoy close friendships and do not like public attention. I enjoy connecting with likeminded people one or two ppl at a time. I just can’t do parties…don’t want to, and I finally understand it about myself. I’ve lost friends, let some go…and sometimes I miss them, but I know deep down that I didn’t feel supported by them and that our relationship was meant to end.
I just discovered your channel and appreciate your openness and willingness to share.
sadhu sadhu. thank you so much Mary Ann 🙂🙂 and welcome to the channel. Glad you're here.
Thank you, Nick - I love your way of expressing - I FEEL your authenticity! 🙂
Thank you so much my friend 😊
Well done Nick. Back in the 70s I asked Trungpa Rinpoche what path I should take in my life. I was at the dawning of a promising career in music, but I felt strongly drawn to monasticism and study. He told me plainly to be true to my nature, so I went on to enjoy several decades of music performance...
I always kept a 'Buddhist attitude' to life, but I have been dealing with severe pain and disability for a couple decades now, and can appreciate the beauty and simplicity of the choice you have made.
Thank you for the window into the life you live. :)
Thank you so much my friend :) I hope you have a speedy recovery.
That rose and cactus comparison was a thing of beauty.
Sadhu Sadhu 😊😊 thank you so much my friend.
I am with you brother.
Thank you so much my friends. Greetings to you from Thailand :-) hope you're doing well.
@@nickkeomahavong01 is there a god in Buddhism?.
@@tristanbulluss9386 lord buddha. Nepal lumbini kapilbastu. Son of Maya devi.
The enlighted one i would like to say more than god.
@@tristanbulluss9386 Short answer there is no God in Buddhism, that answer above this is wrong. Buddha was not a God or did not see himself a one. Buddhism is about finding the inner peace, be aware around your surrounding, many cultures has different way of seen this, but the common one is enlightened or awaken human. For ex: Everything you see in the video is a sign to understand Buddhism the awakening one. Buddhism is not a religion.
@@suppien hay do you know how to change the file you're saving stuff on yawcam back to default?. I tried google it but I'm not getting any answers.
I love thiis. Cactus, rose. It's taken me 62 years to get back to feeling familiar with my true nature and cultivating that. It's a continuing process. Thank you, Nick. ❤
You’re welcome ☺️
Orland Bishop talks about asking the question: “ Who do I need to be for you to be you?” in order to host the true self of another.
This is how my therapist was for me and what I try to do with my clients now as a psychotherapist. It’s such a pleasure to shine and then see others light up too.
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful and heartfelt story of your growth and development!
sadhu sadhu. thank you so much Sarah 🙂🙂🙂
This is the best “self-help” video on youtube. So calming, accepting and motivating.
Thank you so much Vivian :-)
I am a Ghanaian living in Thailand here for 7 years. i am a Christian. during my studies Buddhism religion was something with is very scared. after years upon years of living in Thailand here my taught and my understanding this religion is different. thank you for your teaching and wish to meet you one day.
☺️
Learning that everything begins with gratitude.
Wonderful 😊
I found someone just like me... it's refreshing to know that people exist out there that listen more than speak or waiting to speak. Genuine people who aren't afraid to be... just be your true soul deep down.
This talk really touches my heart. Yes, I never feel like I truly fit in, also my family and friends find it hard to accept that I cant function like 'normal' people because I have mental illness. I've beaten myself up a lot for the past decade, trying to look okay and to make people around me happy, but it never works and that's really painful.
I've come to realise that accepting myself, learning to embrace and love myself the way I am - the good the bad and the ugly, is actually the first step to truly heal from within. There's no point to be someone else you're not, just to please everybody around you.
Thank you so much Nick, for making this video. It helps me to remember that theres nothing wrong being who we really are; and when we fully embrace this, regardless of what people think, then we will finally find inner peace. 🙏💛
Thank you so much ella. I'm glad it resonates with you. Just be patient and kind to yourself. Everything will be ok :)
i think most people introduce themselves as their ideal self or who they wish they were and as someone who also struggles in specific social situations i want to be comfortable presenting myself as imperfect which starts with surrounding ones self with people who are able to do the same
Thank you Nick. This is affirming to me as an introvert and also to my son, who is autistic. He has spent his life hearing others tell him that his way of being is not okay and that he needs to learn how to fit in, be less himself and more like "normal" people. I'm glad I have this video to show him. Thank you again.
Awww beautiful Laura. Thank you so much and I'm glad its helpful 🙂🙂🙂Please tell your son hello and that he has nothing to worry about and simply do his best. Being a good, kind, compassionate person is something more important.
I am a Hospice nurse. It's a beautiful profession! I resonate so much to your story. I've been studying Buddhist philosophy for nearly 10 years. I may be there some day. Thanks for your message.
You're welcome michael :) thank you and i'm glad it resonates with you.
I grew up on the country side of Stockholm, Sweden. I had a great childhood really. I used to play with my brother and a few friends in the forest, Building stuff, fishing, hunting and so on.
Now I'm 24 and i work in sales. Meeting about 30 different people every day. And I've learned to enjoy it. Even tho i still feel the need to be by myself as soon as I get home from work.
Lately i got promoted to be a manager. And it's been downhill since. As soon as I step on a stage to talk to 20 people i start sweating and can barely talk. And i feel deeply inside me that this doesn't suit me. I'm really handy and creative and i feel that i miss that part.
Now when I'm writing this it really doesn't sound that bad. But inside i just want to get away and be by myself. Just inhale fresh air and be alone by the ocean somewhere. Does someone here recognize this feeling? The feeling of not being in the right place. The feeling of being put in the wrong place? I've realized it might have to do with that i don't know myself. My true nature and my design. Thank you for sharing this video. It got me thinking and got me really emotional.
Awww thank you for sharing my friend. It's ok and it's normal. Just honor your current situation and hold it neutrally for the moment :)
I’m a CBT therapist Nick and I wish your therapist had of shown you an appreciation for who you are exactly the way you. Just as you’ve described in this video. That your introversion isn’t a problem to be solved but a beauty to be embraced. 💛
Much love to you my friend. I adore your work.
Thank you so much Timothy. It's great to hear from a practitioner in the mental health field. Where do you practice?
@@nickkeomahavong01 I’m based out of Hamilton, Ontario in Canada but due to COVID I’m practicing online and working with people globally. 🙏🏼
@@TimothyGordon oh wow. That's wonderful. I hope to visit Canada one day 😊 and that's wonderful you can help more people online. Keep up the great work tim.
@@nickkeomahavong01 thank you my friend. Please if you plan on coming to Canada; let me know. We’d be happy to host you and show you around our corner. :)
@@TimothyGordon wonderful. Thank you so much 😊😊
You explained my nature exactly. I'm 69 and wish I heard this a long time ago. I always felt there was something emotionally wrong with me to feel what you described.
This is soooo important. Not because there are more extroverts outside there , doesn’t mean that introverts have to adapt to them.
Thanks for sharing this Nick. I'm not an introvert, but what you said here really hit home. It's given me some peace at a moment where I needed it, and it's given me a lot to reflect on.
Wonderful. Thank you so much michael. I'm glad it resonates :)
Thank You for everything...and for rose-cactus story, it`s so beautiful!
sadhu sadhu. thank you so much 🙂🙂🙂glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you for showing that buddhism is a very practical way to help us get through this game called life.🙂
It's a pleasure. Thank you so much 😊
Dear Nick the monk, I have been following your lessons on UA-cam lately. Your words really strengthen the path to purifying the mind. I especially liked this lesson. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart
Yes I also wish any of the therapists I've seen would have taught me these golden life skills. But mostly I wish it was taught in schools from the earliest age possible.
Teaching this in schools would be wonderful :-)
Thank you for passing on your wisdom. Our culture always tries to mold us into something that we are not. It doesn't teach us to accept ourselves. Im glad to be learning this now.
It's a pleasure. Thank you so much. I'm glad it resonates with you :-) greetings to you from Thailand
I never knew I was an introvert until my guidance counselor told me - it sounded negative and anti-social the way I perceived it at the time. I felt I had to overcome being a turtle living in his shell as if I was a coward to some extent. I tried the advice of many as Nick had tried, but to no avail, I was a happy turtle living inside my shell. I studied biology and was always content in nature. Now, I ride my bike each day and meditate at the river and connect with the natural dimension. Most people come to me with their problems and I listen. I refrain from talking because I feel I would be boring and most people want someone to listen to them. It makes you more spiritual to do this. I talk to my cat - he doesn't seem to care, but he is there for me most of the time. Thanks Nick for all your life videos - much appreciated here in Colombia, the land of extroverts.
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I am reminded of the philosophy of wu wei (effortless action). It equates to the acceptance of who you are...just like recognizing yourself as a rose in the desert. As a therapist, I do my best to help people discover themselves just as I have done for myself. Excellent and wise words, Nick.
Thank you so much Fionn. Thank you for sharing and keep up the great work 😊
This was excellent. I can totally relate to you regarding introversion. I have Asperger’s Syndrome but have faked being sociable all my life. It’s an act but I always felt uneasy and overwhelmed. It was never my true nature. The hardest part is figuring out where exactly I can shine. Your message in this was so inspiring and uplifting!
Thank you so much for sharing my friend :-) it's greatly appreciated.
Same
OMG. You described my "work" life precisely as I experienced it as well. I always dreaded social gatherings. Finally it blossomed into anxiety of social situations and ultimately panic attacks. My therapist never discussed my "true" nature either. (I have always been a "loner" with few very good friends.) My therapist and I worked on coping skills as you described. I learned CBT and it worked for a while, but later in life I found myself in the same earlier situation. Now, in my late 60's I am beginning to discover/accept what my nature truly is and am becoming content with who I have always been. It's like trying to fit a square in a round peg, isn't it? My recent path has been working with meditation and mindfulness and being "true" to myself. Not forcing myself to get into social situations, etc. It is a long journey, but I am becoming "whole" again. Your analogy of the rose/cactus is excellent! Thanks for your messages. I find them very uplifting, therapeutic and helpful.
Awwwe thank you so much pat for sharing. I'm glad you're coming more into yourself and doing what you love. That's wonderful to hear. Greetings to you from Thailand 😊😊
"It's like trying to fit a square into a round peg" Good analogy!
I love this. Self acceptance? Self compassion? Self love and nurturing self care? This is everything 🌈 Thank you so much Venerable Nick. 🙏
Brother, thank you so much. Thank you. I'm a Muslim, now its Ramadan the holy month of fasting. As a young adult, fasting was easy for me. I fasted with no issue. Then after having my children I got sick. I try to fast each year, but in a few hours, I start falling ill. This morning, I asked, God dont you love me? Am I not worthy of tasting the sweetness of breaking fast? Have I been denied this rank of a believer? Just now I saw your video and clicked on it. I feel lighter.
When it comes to fasting, do your best. But Allah wants your to prioritize your health first. Fasting isn't just about not eating or drinking during the day. Think about others ways you can fast - no backbiting/gossiping, fast from bad thoughts, etc. And remember (if you're financially able to) you can donate money to feed someone else ☺️ Don't beat yourself up, you're doing amazing!
When I was struggling I fasted from social media and anything sweet in my food. It really helped. Fasting is about cleansing. There’s more than one way to do that. God bless
Where are you from ?
Patterns and cycles of behavior make my heart go pitter-patter too! 💚
Someone once told me in order to have a testimony you have to be tested first. Sounds like you've manifested that in which is true to your nature.
Outstanding talk about emotions & feelings there are millions of people that could never have this conversation with themselves. Not to mention to be so moved when speeking about your "true nature" and what makes you shine.
I feel your energy is a safe harbor in the midst of many different life storms.
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I’m getting to know myself more and more each day. I’m also an introvert, need a lot of alone time, hate small talk, love to read and paint. Thank you 🙏🏻❤️
You're welcome. Thank you so much :-)
I didn’t think I’d find a video that would actually help me want to make this change in myself. But the rose in a desert full of cactuses, that spoke volumes. Stop comparing, and start seeing yourself and your reality, clearly as it is. ❤️ thank you for sharing with us, I admire your strength.
sadhu sadhu. thank you so much theresa 🙂🙂🙂 That made me smile. Yes please keep doing your work. It's important :)
@@nickkeomahavong01 another day, & I’m going to be watching your channel every morning, to ensure I can build a healthy routine. I recognized my triggers and the behaviors I exhibit on a daily basis. But my therapist didn’t tell me that either?! I wish you provided sessions virtually (aka if you do let me know). Thank you again. ✨