How to Release Attachment to the Stuff | Emotional Decluttering
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- Опубліковано 11 січ 2024
- On this episode, I explain how to release attachment from stuff. We have been getting so much rain that it caused my basement to flood! Of course, unexpected things got damaged and I need to throw it out. But there are still emotions attached to the items so I need to release the attachments so I can let go of it! You can also release attachment to your things so you can declutter with peace and freedom!!!
#home #declutter #cleaning
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The one saving grace with this is that you've made such good progress so far that lots of your precious things are protected in your label plastic bins. You're doing so well ❤
We're all impressed how well you dealt with the loss of the backpack! You're so strong ❤️
I think you may need a French drain all around basement perimeter to weep that water saturation away from your home 😮
I agree. It did wonders for our basement that used to look just like yours. And you are doing a great job, as well as being an inspiration. Thanks for sharing!
Yes..around the basement exterior area...Holmes On Homes recommends this procedure to prevent your basement foundation from water rain leaks and fohouse foundation from sinking. Love your videos. Pepper cat is a great inspector and probably hates stepping in water.😊
That or a sump pump. I live in pa. We have a sump pump. Since all the heavy rain it seems to be appearing in a new spot. A French drain is on the horizon.
Uggg our basement is the same way. We did the gutters and it's only when it's really bad it will leak. They said same thing about the French drains...expensive tho.
Look how far you’ve come!!! Do you see it too? This challenge is such a milestone in your journey. Your ability to deal healthily with this situation is phenomenal.
Thank you so much for allowing us to walk through this experience with you!
You show such courageous introspection in exploring the implications and dynamics of the past, present, and future.
I talked to a counselor at one time (when I was trying to establish a work / support group for fellow hoarders.)
The counselor, (who had some experience working with hoarders,) said one of the biggest problems was that hoarders minimize and deny the extent that hoarding impacts our lives.
This is such a disorder of solitude and isolation.
We say, "Oh, I'm not THAT bad"
(While, in the meantime, some of us are living with impassable doorways, unusable stoves, sinks, toilets, and bathtubs.
Often hoarders sleep in the "valley" on the bed,(because it is covered with clutter, debris & trash.)
And our kitchens are in a state of squalor, with full sinks, countertops, (and a table has not been seen in years!)
I have not had anyone in my house for over 20 years, (and that includes much much needed plumbing, heating, and electrical repairmen.)
If I needed an ambulance I wouldn't call one because I wouldn't want them to see the way that I live.
Here in colorado, we are expecting a "polar vortex" for about 3 or 4 days.
So while I am stuck in the house, I am planning to go down to the basement to get started de-cluttering and organizing my sewing room. (I have not dared to face the basement for at least 8 months.)
I will use your bravery (in facing your emotions) as a torch light and inspiration.
Thank you again!
Wishing you the strength and self compassion you need to get started. I'm in the middle of decluttering my hoarded home, I know how hard it is. ❤❤
I think you have done so much. I still want to see hubby let his things go.
Sorry to see the damage from the rain I’m happy to hear you have sentimental items safely put away. You are doing an amazing job
We had a basement flood a few times when we lost power and the sump pump was off. Afterwards we put the bins up on pallets that my husband had reinforced. When it flooded the second time, with bins on pallets, it was easy to squeegee the water out. We had fans tilted towards the floor blowing in the basement for a week or more to avoid the musty mildew smell. The pallets allowed the air to circulate under. Finally we made sure we got a battery back up sump pump. My husband built pallet platforms with heavy duty wheels. I can easily roll them out from the walls to get all sides for Christmas stuff, my villages, and camping stuff.
I had to release my dear hubs items, after he passed away from aggressive brain cancer October 28. We only had four weeks of intensive home hospice care. Thankful I had a friend every step of the way. He had an extensive research library. As his PR I followed his distribution requests. It was exhausting and of course, heartbreaking. I am still fulfilling his requests. I dealt with much of mine as the same time,which oddly made it easier. I am elderly, so it was time.
Thank goodness you've done so amazingly with the basement before now, 1 or 2 things wasnt too bad even tho I know you loved that backpack. But I remember you tossing out so many damaged things from other old storms, I felt a huge relief for you knowing most of your extremely cherished items are already safe and organized.
Re the backpack, maybe the Konmarie method of thanking the item for blessing your family then letting it go, might help.
Sorry about the backpack, but so impressed with the growth that you being able to let it go shows!
Maybe a new checkpoint to make is to not have paper/cardboard boxes on the floor, only the plastic tubs, or, even better, no things on the floor! So if you have water problem again it wont damage anything and it helps to keep the place clean and tidy, cause things that fall don't get hidden behind stuff
So sorry your basement got flooded Ms Heart. Yet, I am really so glad that you have reached the stage in your journey where you are able to managing the emotions that this situation is bringing up for you. The way you handled your son’s backpack being damaged shows just how far you have advanced in your recovery. Let this set back be a sign that you need to make this the year in which you get everything in your basement into plastic tubs and on plastic shelves off the floor. Regards the flood clear-up, my advice is that you fully declutter anything which is wet, because that rain water will probably be laying ground water seepage and that could contain nasty diseases from having been near under street/house sewerage and drains. You don’t want anyone to get sick from handling things that have been in that type of water. Also, make sure you wear gloves and wash your hand throughly after cleaning up the wet areas. Plus, disinfect areas such as the floor and the base of the walls and your stairs once everything has dried out, to prevent mould from starting to develop where the wet has been. I want to wish you good luck in cleaning up the water mess and I’m mediating hard on your behalf that you don’t get anymore flood damage. I think you should get a French drain fitted if you can afford one to help prevent this happen again in the future, as flooding is predicted to get worse in future years.
I hope you are able to have someone come out and look into how to keep the basement dry during these storms. Thank goodness for no spend challenges to save money! No matter the cost to prevent it next time it’s well worth it knowing your things are safe.
You are doing so well! So sorry, that your basement keeps getting wet. Wish you all the best. ❤
Another great job!
Glad to see the growth you are experiencing. The health of yourself and family is the most important thing. Mold and mildew are the hidden dangers in basements that can grow throughout your house. Often unseen and putting the whole household at risk. Fire is another factor that can happen suddenly. Within a crowded space, it could be very hard to get out of the area. Telling yourself (or your nervous system) these factors, can and will save you and family's lives.
Oh no! So sorry you got flooded😩 But glad you have spaces to move around, to declutter the area quickly.
This video really helps to make a decision about sentimental stuffs for my hoarding therapy, thank you so much ! I have been watching your videos one by one for better version of myself..
Great job! Such a big area and the big sentimental item too!! And I agree with the comment about the French drain.....probably need to be re sealed also.
Double check make sure the gutters aren’t clogged. I found a squirrel nest in one of mine.
Hello from Germany, hi Miss Heart and miouw pepper. You can Be so proud of yourself🎉. I'm so sorry for the water.
I would be so concerned about mold.
I live in NY. The rain has been nuts…we’re going to need an ark soon….great job 😊❤️
So sad for you about the backpack I felt that sting with you. Well done for being brave with your feelings ❤
Sorry about your basement. More rain coming tonight. I need to check my basement now! Delaware neighbor. 🌻
This darn old weather affecting us all so sorry about sons back pack😪
That looked like a rough session. But good for you on letting that backpack go. Look how far you’ve come from the early days. Congrats
I hate that for you. Our basement has water in it too. I don’t look forward to seeing what is ruined. Good job 👏
Out here in California we don't have basements unless your home is really old (Victorian old). I have a friend who has one and to combat ruining his things, he bought some plastic pallets to put his boxes on. It has saved his items more than once.
Pepper is is so cute.
I could see the pain you felt finding the backpack. Thank you for sharing a difficult moment with us. You are incredibly strong to face it head on and share with the world in order to help others understand hoarding. Your videos do so much good Ms Heart ❤
You can take photos of the damaged sentimental items as well so you can look at it when you remember it and are struggling. I know its hard to throw it out or get rid of and especially when it wasnt your decision due to circumstances out of your control.
Thinking of you tonight as we're getting another inch of rain. 😫
Sorry about the rain damage that sucks. One reason I don't store much in the basement as our basement leaks. But you have come a long way in saying goodbye and you should be able to recover.
I had a dental irrigator I wasn’t using, but I just couldn’t throw it away because there was nothing wrong with it. One day, I was cleaning my bathroom and the irrigator fell off the counter and got smashed. I felt so much relief because finally I got to throw it away guiltlessly. I know you lost some sentimental stuff, but if it helps, you can look at it as a blessing in disguise since it forced you to get rid of some things. As hoarders, we carry a heavy emotional attachment to things. I just discovered your channel and plan to watch all your videos so I can heal my own self.
I would go around and get everything that's not in plastic bins, into plastic bins. That way more things don't get ruined. If you have empty bins.
Omg Miss Heart ❤️ I’m so sorry that ye are experiencing flooding with more storms in the forecast. As some have already suggested can you get sandbags to try keep the water out?
Explaining the emotions of the damaged backpack and how you felt it, sat with it and let it go and not internalise those emotions is powerful. You’ve no idea how much you are and have helped me on this journey. Thank you so much. I hope ye get through the storms safely and without damage. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Mary, Joes wife 🙇♀️👏💪👍🙏💐🐈
Great Job.
It happened to us. I'm in South Carolina got alot of rain. Our basement flooded too..
So sorry you are dealing with water coming in your basement! You are strong and amazing! 💕
I’m so sorry to hear about the water-damage, lots of courage to you and your family. Here in Belgium we have been experiencing heavy waterfall and large floodings as well over last months…
Seeing how you used such wisdom in handling this situation was really helpful! Your amazing. Ms.Heart. God Bless you. ♥️🤗❤️
Water damage can be the worst!! So sorry about so much loss!! You are doing amazing with being able to let go of so much at once!!
What makes me really proud of you is not even seeing you getting rid of the water damaged things but doing so before they can start to mold. You now have the ability to adress this before it becomes a larger problem. That is huge!
Love pepper
I’m sorry you have to deal with the water
you could temp put stuff on skids- cheaper way, and put plastic on the floor, boxes on the totes or on shelves. or you could try bumping things up on basement tile systems subflooring with the plastic backing, we had some in our old house bc every spring the tiny stream would run through the whole basement to the sump.
I get anxious when they say we might lose power. and pay attention how often the sump goes- IS it going, as sometimes they die or get stuck and had both of those things happen.
if it was important you can try taking pics of them, I do that for my keeps or my I can get rid ofs but still want to keep the memory of it, and especially when things get damaged like they did in our floods etc. And washed a bunch of things- non sewage stuff- just rain water or tap.
its best to avoid storing in basements, bc it'll happen no matter what. we are still trying to get over the mess of a pond in our basement last summer, and we don't keep much down there, still lost stuff. also lost stuff when our washer on the main floor gave me a lovely fountain and pond in my laundry rm... not ideal decluttering conditions when the choice is made for you- btdt definitely know the feeling it sucks, plus the despair of everything is wet and getting damaged, can't work fast enough to fix it.
to save things not damaged, I use silica packs, chalk, baking soda in the box in totes.
Help in re-homing stuff - I just had a thought that since I have heard that many hoarders feel a lot of emotional care for the items, maybe focusing on the idea that letting go will make it possible for the items to fulfill their potential in someone else's home, then the only thing to let go of is any attachment to knowing which particular home that will be.
Oh yes! We’re flooding too. Having to throw out a damaged item helps me so I HAVE TO let it go. The decision was made for me. I used to wish for a typhoon to take it all away to relieve myself of making decisions and go through the pain.
You get it…..
All this rain. I want to move to a desert already 😬
Love you!
I may be visiting you on etsy for a custom bracelet maaaaybeee???!!! I’ll see what you say
We have a crawl space under our townhome where we can store many items and out HVAC system lays flat in that crawl space. Our crawl space has a water sump pump which the water goes outside in a very long and wide pipe away from the townhome foundation. We have a low water table in ground which will come up when we have heavy rains or heavy snowfall in Colorado.😢
Thank you for reinforcing that it is ok to touch each item as you let it go. 😌👍
You are a breath of fresh air, and give great information which is easy to follow😊 Thankyou very much!
Already clicked on your video. I always watch your videos 1st. I enjoy them so much! Thanks so much for sharing. You are so encouraging!🥰
What a lovely way to release the backpack.
Ms Heart - look at how well you have done!
I feel your pain Ms. ♥️. Two years ago we went through a flood. We had 4 1/2 ft of water in our crawlspace. We had stuff of my parents hubby’s parents and lots of our stuff. We filled a huge dumpster plus 1/2 of another. I lost all my childhood toys that I kept 😞
Great video 🎉
You did GREAT! That must have been challenging, but you did so well.
It's so cool you got rid of the storage unit. I helped my friend reno his basement and they put down delta with laminate "wood" flooring over it. The delta is a sheet of plastic with little thimble sized cups so if water comes up through the cement or spills through the floor it can sit in the little cups and evaporate over time. The flooring is also anti microbial. The dry wall and baseboard are installed after (on top of) the delta, so nothing is actually touching the cement floor. It's worked really well, even last summer which was incredibly humid and rainy. There was a point where you could step in the laminate and water would squish through the seams but now it's all dried up.
So proud of you!!! Hoping that I can get this far one day!!!!
We've honestly thought of getting a second sump pump installed due to fears of flooding. We dont even keep much in the basement.
You should be so proud of yourself, you have made such amazing progress. I'm really sorry you've had to get rid of so much but she are even more of an inspiration for doing so in such an emotionally controlled way. TFS and I pray the rain stops soon.
Aww I have that Ninja turtle 🐢 plate too! 😄 Thanks for all your wisdom! 🫂💕 You're doing amazing! 💝
i am so proud off you. you did it i hope that there is no water comeing in anymore.
I’m so sorry all that water got in! I understand the frustration and heartache. Will be praying the rain stops coming in and the cleanup goes as smoothly as possible for you! ❤️🩹🙌🏻
I am so sorry to hear about the basement flooding. You have made sooooo much progress in your recovery! I am so proud of you! ❤❤❤❤ And thank you for taking us on this journey with you. 🤗
You are still doing a great job! Working through that water damage. Sorry that happened to you.
It's always hard to find special stuff ruined 😢 I keep my ultra sentimental things in waterproof bags, with the papers in a fireproof bag.
I am sorry this happened to you and at the same time very impressed with how you deal with it. It was interesting to hear you explain about the benefits of allowing yourself to feel the pain and how that helped you not to loose control and start hoarding again. I learned from it so thank you.
Amazing job! 💖 Good luck with all that water!
You handled this tough situation with grace and determination, you have come so far. It seems so stressful to get that much water into the basement. Thank yourself for all the work you have done already. ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much for your videos...so proud of your progress! It's so much easier for me to get rid of things damaged, expired, etc. It feels good to toss those things, but 99% of what I need to let go of is sentimental items from my childhood (which was an abusive situation) and my own new items like clothing, decor, etc. And I've saved some things from my son's childhood, he is now 17. It's a work in progress for me, but seeing and hearing your videos gives me hope. I crave organization. But feel panicked and anxiety when starting to go thru anything that's not an easy donation or tossy tossy item. The decision making sets me into an emotional roller-coaster. I've been trying on the no spend calendar...so far the last couple of days I haven't ordered any more clothing...only ordered necessities like groceries for the family. ❤
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with water in your basement, but so impressed with how you’re handling discarding damaged items. Good luck getting anything you care about up off the floor, and finding a way to keep the water OUT!🦄❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
When I still lived at my parents we had water in the basement 3 times. When I moved out I put a lot of stuff still in the cardboard moving boxes in the basement. One day I thought I had to declutter these things and put the stuff I want to keep in plastic bins in case the basement gets flooded. Not long after I made the switch we really had a storm and the basement got filled with about a foot of water. Luckily only a few things like an old vacuum got damaged. Hope that once you‘ve decluttered everything, all your items are in plastic bins, so you don‘t have to make more tough decisions on letting go sentimental items.
honestly feel like that should be her next move, with the cardboard boxes she still has and with all those empty plastic bins she's still got
And more rain coming this weekend. 😮 It seeps into a section of my basement, too. Good luck.
Having a basement that leaks is just the pits. Last year my porch got flooded. The roof did not leak much when it rained, but with the snow melting on the roof, got everything soaked. I filled my trash container twice and then started putting stuff in my neighbors containers. I only did this because the next morning was trash day and I know that they wouldn't mind. I wasn't sentimental about the major of the stuff. So it felt good getting rid of it.
In my apartment, I have a bedroom with an exterior wall that floods often, sometimes halfway across the floor. The landscapers keep covering the runoff gutter drainage spout with a thick layer of mulch. I stored my taxes and other documents in cardboard boxes, which got wet about 3-4 inches up the sides. Soaked. The clothes - I went through and only saved a few items, which I put in the washer. The papers were almost all ruined, except for the ones on the second and third tier of the 2 stacks. My husband looked in the lowest boxes and indicated the contents were ruined and just tossed them out. I lost a book that I had really wanted to keep but it was too damaged. I was sad for a whole day at losing those things. The next day, I resolved to let those feelings go because it was done and out of my control. I focused on getting everything left, if it could be negatively affected by another flood, off the floor. It took a week to go through the other 4 boxes and the items under the bed, but I felt really good when I was done. I was able to trash 60% and donate 30% of it.the 10% I kept were usable items.
Ahh used to live in Jersey and I do not miss the basement floods!!
I feel for you. We have had water come in in a part of our basement, too. It’s terrible to deal with tossing, moving bins and then importantly trying to dry out the concrete.
Oh no! I hope the flooding doesn’t continue, it must be a huge drain.
I hope you can get anything else which might be at risk off that part of the floor for now so you don't have to face more difficult days like this. You did an amazing job though- and you tackled it quickly before there was a risk of mould and mildew making you all sick.
Welldone I wish I could do this
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Hi, bookings can be washed in the washing machine. You may have to disinfect it with alcohol inside out, then wash it 2 or as many times as needed. Once you do that, you can safely store it some place where it will not get wet again. Also, sometime in the near future, you can go to Costco and buy metal shelving on wheels. They were on sale not too long ago this month and you can put all the cardboard boxes up rather than leave them on the floor because of the water coming in. Having to throw sentimental items just because they have water damage is devastating.
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That is why it's so important to not keep much in a basement. You risk flooding and mold. Ask me how I know...been there sadly. Anything, anything at all that got wet you will need to wash and disinfect. What a pain. I hope you don't get too much more water in your basement. Sending prayers.
My Daughter had our basement wrapped. They added a pump and we have been blessed with a very dry basement. Our home also has been warmer since the wrapping. This might be something to look into to keep all your things safe and dry and the areas you want to have in the basement will be safely kept.
Thank you SO much for this particular video. What do suggest for writings and old lesson plans that were water damaged at a storage unit, of a loved one who has passed on? How does one let it go, without the guilt? Thank you kindly in advance.
Maybe you can take a picture of the item that you are losing ! Print the picture and put with your sentimental items . ❤
How many more storage units do you have?
You know you can foster, and you can get paid for it. I knew a couple which paid their bills and was able to run small org as a not-for-profit (there was a term for it. It was a certain business organization type to protect member's privacy as there's a lot of stigma surrounding that demographic. And it became a location for classes and for people to host events for people like them.), fostering these kids and someone would stay home while the other would be present when there were events at the community space, but otherwise they were at home fostering a house full of children.
Nothing like stuff breaking and weather ruining things to motivate me personally to get rid of stuff or not allowing stuff in
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It always kills me when they jump on someone on Hoarders when they want to see each thing before they toss it. And heaven forbid they touch it.
They always throw them into clearing out when they haven't addressed the root issue. I think these people need therapy first...then clean. I get usually it's a situation of being evicted.
There were 2 episodes that were impressive. The one where the son came over everyday after the show left and helped his mom organize, clean and upgrade her home. The other where the woman got fed up with the cleaning crew and threw them out. At a check in she had decided to throw out one shopping bag of trash a day. She had been able to clear out her whole bedroom and half the den. But it was her pace and she was healing correctly.
Can you talk about how you handle all the storage containers and organizational items when you empty them? I'm doing well with my stuff, but I have a room that's now full of empty organizers that I can't bring myself to do anything with "just in case" I need them later.
Like you said it’s just one item and you have saved other baby items. Can you put caulking around the perimeter of basement to prevent water coming in or sand bags or something like that?
Sorry for the misspelled words. I failed to check but auto correct does that. Mispells words : (
New gutters are great, but do they get cleaned out yearly? My neighbor's basement flooded due to backed up gutters last year
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