I can't make phone calls and every time I miss appointments I get letters saying give us a call etc as if it's nothing..... It's not nothing to me! Asking me to do this is like asking me to parachute jump
I always write out scripts with blanks or checks to fill in answers before I make a phone call so that I know I covered everything, But I hate phone calls and only do them as a last resort.
I am autistic, was clinically diagnosed at 31, and am in the process of going back to school to work within the field of clinical psychology. If I ever go down the route of providing folks with clinical diagnoses, my first question to the individual is literally going to be "So why do you think you're on the spectrum?" Due to the nature of the 'disorder,' it is far more important for the individual to understand that they are autistic and what that implies than for the medical community to acknowledge it via 'official papers.'
Depends on how you ask the question. I've seen exactly one psychologist for this who is supposed to be an expert. She was already annoyed and told me I was late. I'd made it into the reception area 1-2 minutes before the hour and sat down. There was a whole other side where it wrapped around, and a couple of minutes later the receptionist came around to find me and lead me to the other side. Anyway, I was already anxious because I am chronically late due to idiopathic central nervous system hypersomnia that makes it extremely difficult to wake up for morning appointments. I hate driving in the big city and I've developed a high level of anxiety. I went to two buildings before I found her office. It was early December and my furnace had stopped working the week prior. The weather had just begun a record-breaking cold snap, and I had no heat in my house. I couldn't remember if they'd sent me paperwork and I was consumed with trying to figure out space heaters, and watch UA-cam videos on how to troubleshoot my furnace model. The month prior I'd been denied again for disability, harshly. I'd already long been in survival mode financially and threatened with foreclosure, and harassed by student loans that were supposed to have been forgiven in TPD discharge. So after this woman addressed me in that annoyed barely veiled hostility, the question "So what makes you think you're autistic? " was too much for an already overwhelmed brain. I had a hundred different channels of thought trying to come out through one mouth and I didn't know which one she needed to hear. I needed more structure and a less broad question. I already had been late diagnosed with ADHD a year or two prior. I have extreme difficulty answering questions directly as it is, and even more so when I feel under pressure and threat. I felt the need to explain play I was not better prepared and couldn't organize my thoughts. When I did start mentioning things she was like a tennis player rushing the net to smack down each individual thing I said. She ended up lecturing me for half the appointment about how I didn't have autism and I was wasting her time, and she mentioned a couple of the outdated male-centric stereotypes. She added "you wouldn't have any friends" and I said "I don't! I just lost three friends in the last couple of months." She condescendingly said to come back when I had my life more together or something like that. It was clear that she was unwilling or unable to handle the layers of emotional trauma that is nearly always present with undiagnosed autism over a lifetime. It was like she expected me to serve up the most concise textbook answer on a silver platter so that she didn't have to do any of the work. No wonder she claims to be able to identify autism within the hour of meeting someone, if she's only cherry-picking the most obvious cases and denying the more complex ones like mine. I'm so glad to hear that more autistic people are getting trained and licensed to diagnose others. That appointment I had just added to my trauma and I'm honestly surprised that I'm even still here. 8 years of autistic burnout is too much. Psychologists must understand that complex PTSD is almost certainly going to be part of the picture and they need a certain amount of compassion and competence to treat people with a bit of dignity. I share my story because I really hope psychologists will learn to do better. Best of luck in your studies and great success in identifying the many alternative presentations of ASD that still tragically go unrecognized.
@@sylvianimates Also her: when I sat in their waiting room afterwards, studiously handwriting my responses to each upsetting statement she'd peppered me with while I could still remember them all, she tried to label me on my record as manic and added this gaslighting CYA to the visit summary: "... I hope she's okay!" 🤨🙄🙄 It was jaw-dropping and deeply discouraging how quickly she doubled down on her existing antagonistic defensive hostility to also paint me as the unstable one, to preemptively discredit any feedback from me as unreliable, should I choose to submit my own notes to the medical group. She really didn't want to see me back. She'd told me dismissively that she wasn't the right person for me to be seeing, and only condescended to suggest I could return when I responded that with their two unfilled psychologist positions, I had no one else to go to. The whole incident felt very much like I was not the first one she'd gone off on and attempted to run out on a rail of misdiagnosis rather than acknowledge the existence of an undiagnosed high-masking AFAB autistic adult with comorbidities. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a whole lot of projection from her.
This is one of the reasons I have put off going to get tests for ASD for over a year now. I also worried that they will not listen to me, invalidate my experiences, etc. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a young kid. But over the past year or so after coming across autistic adult videos particularly late diagnosed females I've thought more and more how I fit into the spectrum. My seven year old son was just diagnosed in March too. That psychologist was amazing. I hope when I do reach out I can get her or someone like her. I'm sorry you had to deal with that from someone whom is supposed to be a professional. I hope you're doing well and hope you have found someone who will actually listen to you . ❤
I was diagnosed when I was young (13ish?) My school demanded it, but we tried to get my son diagnosed and all the doctors said "You really don't want to do that, it could hurt him later in life" and refused to test. I'm in the US, so yay for health care. Plenty of doctors said that my son was definitely autistic but wouldn't put it in writing. All that to say, diagnosis isn't always available.
I just wrote a whole book in the comments saying this, lol. I was also told (as an adult) that I'm autistic but that they wouldn't officially diagnose me. Even though I went there as an adult seeking it.. knowing the "risks" And it's so expensive..
I've been told the same thing about seeking diagnosis for myself AND my eldest child. I believe we are both autistic. I've been researching it for quite some time, but I'm hesitant to seek a formal diagnosis for either of us because I keep getting told how it would hinder our lives having an official diagnosis.
@@lizza4250 I don't think it would be a hindrance as long as you don't plan on moving to NZ or Australia. And as long as you use it wisely. Your child might need help. Is it possible they could also have learning disabilities? I did. But because I never went through diagnosis. It was untreated. And I didn't do well Definitely think hard on it
@@ryanmackenzie6109 I appreciate it. It's a "caught between a rock and a hard place" sort of thing, but I'm trying to do what I think is best for my child to give them every opportunity when they reach adulthood.
I don't know about the UK or other places but in the USA you usually need a diagnosis to get most services. And even if you are officially diagnosed you won't get many services.
You know what's cringe? Feeling shut out from even being able to get a thorough diagnosis because my HMO Kaiser Medicare offers limited options which I already exhausted. I'm 76. My lived experience is valid, and I'm certain of being neurodivergent. I've evolved beyond anyone's verbal sticks and stones. Is it autism? ADHD? Wish I knew. Thanks for reading my comment. At least that's something.
You have Medicare too? I have been through an absolute nightmare dealing with these dang psychiatrists who refuse to take it. They also wouldn't let me pay out of pocket because they're not allowed to make anyone on Medicare self pay. I thought these doctors went into business to help people. It's hard for me to respect doctors who refuse insurance of people on low incomes.
I am strongly suspicious that I am autistic but I am so scared that I’m going to get assessed and not be diagnosed. Since I’ve come to this realization, it’s made so many things in my past make sense and if I don’t get a diagnosis I feel like I’m going to have to go back to just sucking at life and not knowing why. Does anyone have advice for this?
I have a few suggestions. If you need a Tl; dr - just ask. • Seek out a specialist that specializes in autistic adults or autistic women. • Come prepared. Bring printed copies of online assessments with either the results or your answers. Transfer your medical records. Consult with your parents about your childhood - your behaviors (especially if you had meltdowns/shutdowns), your friendships, your hobbies, your schooling, etc. • Write out what you want to say to the doctor, and give it to them at your appointment. (This has been incredibly effective for me because I always struggle to verbalize ANYTHING beyond ‘yes’ or ‘no’.) • Start a new journal about your experience. Only record things you’re willing to share with your psychiatrist, obviously. Write about your understanding of autism and how it manifests for you - especially the “invisible” struggles. Explore accommodations that you think would be helpful. Keep a log of things that trigger your nervous system. (I recommend doing this even if you don’t seek out a diagnosis because you will learn a lot about how to help yourself.) • And don’t be afraid to get another opinion - especially if you didn’t vibe with them. You need a psychiatrist that you feel relatively safe talking to. At the end of the day, the label does not define your experience. Your symptoms do.
In my life, seeing and understanding how well I fit, both in terms of the personal experiences I see here on UA-cam or elsewhere and taking tests and looking at research, doctors, and the DSM, has led (along with last year's ADHD diagnosis) me to put aside shame, self-blame, self-hatred, and deep confusion that I carried my whole life (I'm 59). This is so amazingly valuable, I refuse to even consider going back, NO MATTER WHAT the outcome of any formal diagnosis. I will still fit the symptoms, and it will merely be something else that has similar effects on me. The learning about and forgiving of myself will still be monumental, and of course, it will still be valid and valuable. If you're diagnosed or if you aren't, my opinion is that the inside work you do as a result is far and away the most important thing, much more important than a diagnosis from a medical professional. I want that evaluation for myself, but nothing will change me back to my undiagnosed self-hatred and constant longing to belong in the neurotypical world. Good luck!
Very understandable, misdiagnoses unfortanetely happen a lot. Personally, it seems to me that seeking a diagnosis might be very helpful for you, but I wouldn't just go to your local doctor and expect them to diagnose you properly either. Instead what I would personally suggest is to do your research on diagnostic authorities. Because not every doctor is equally good at accurately recognizing ASD unfortunately (especially in women). Try looking for a diagnostic authority that's actually SPECIALIZED in diagnosing ASD and has a good reputation. Perhaps You can ask in a forum, or go to a local meeting and ask people where they got their diagnosis and If they would recommend that person or not. Or perhaps you can call diagnostic authorities and ask them about the details of HOW the diagnostic procedure works there. If they say (for example) they will be diagnosing you based on the impressions of 1 doctor in 1 conversation, perhaps don't actually don't go there. If they explain to you that they will do a lot of tests + conversations over multiple days and which involve your parent(s), then you're most likely talking to a diagnostic authority that really knows their stuff and cares about doing things properly. Also, I would advice to prepare your speech/case properly. I've seen a good video from 'I'm autistic, now what?' that might be helpfull and perhaps others too. If you do this (find a proper diagnostic authority etc.) and are still being told you don't have ASD but something else for example, that probably means they are right. Maybe that helps with letting things go (in worst case scenario). Also, the pattern that I notice is that most people that are convinced they have ASD because so much falls into place, actually end up having it. Maybe that thought can bring you some comfort. Good luck, and I hope you find answers!
Yes, trust yourself. I too feel the same way. I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to take it away from me. I already have an adhd diagnosis, so as far as the equalities act is concerned, I'm covered in work. It all depends on what you hope to gain from a formal diagnosis? Is it important? Will you actually get any support? There are plenty of therapists out there who specialise in autism and they don't need proof of your diagnosis
As someone diagnosed 16 years ago.... a diagnosis changes nothing. You don't need a label or a name. Being autistic is a solo, self-contained experience. No one cares, no one understands, not even other autistics. Basically "cool, I'm a little weird and different, how do I work around this, how do I set up my life so it works for me, what can I do for myself to better navigate the world." But also.... autistics don't suspect they're autistic. Not even the day I got diagnosed at Bradley hospital by one of the leading doctors in the country did I understand the differences. He held out his hand and congratulated me and I just looked at him like "oh, okay" and went right back to being absorbed in my sketchbook. I was in my own world, followed my own interests, even through tragic social interactions. It was my teachers and my neurologist that put me on the track of assessment, over the course of a few years, mind you, because being a teen is wild enough without needing to immediately jump to conclusions of disorders.... I understand the desire to feel like you finally have the answers as to why you are the way you are and to belong to a group and fall neatly into a little perceptual category, but it honestly changes nothing. The programs and opportunities are nonsense and are more geared toward those with extreme challenges in functionality. Temple Grandin has done so much work and overcome those challenges and limitations, to show that those with autism can navigate life on their own, if a little awkwardly. I even understand the disappointment you may feel in being told you are not autistic. You can have traits that overlap with autism and be an incredibly sensitive person (to sensory stimuli and emotions) ..... without meeting the criteria of the neurological disorder and that's entirely okay. Don't push for the diagnosis. Don't look for confirmation bias - you may unconsciously exacerbate or exhibit symptoms that you actually don't have. Confirmation bias is why doctors aren't even allowed to diagnose themselves. Leave it to the professionals. Live your life. Follow your interests. Being autistic is not a personality trait. Being diagnosed doesn't make you handle difficulties any differently, nor does it make life suck less, or change how people perceive or interact with you. Nor does it make people more sympathetic, especially now, when people are making it even harder to be accepted and taken seriously.
"Self-diagnosis" is such a misnomer. Its not diagnosis by definition, you cannot get disability aid, meds, special treatment, or benefits. people genuinely want to be cruel to people about their neurodivergent traits. No one should ever make fun of or discriminate against anyone due to neurodivergent traits whether someone is diagnosed or not. People who criticise self-diagnosis seem to want to bully people and tell them to change the way their brain works. Finding out you are autistic sometimes happens outside of clinics and doctors offices, and thats great, its very important. I wish we would faze out the term "self-diagnosis".
@@JayZinnon09 i think this might be one of those things: whilst it does happen, the internet makes it seem much bigger than it actually is. I understand what you’re saying, but it’s actually not as big of a problem as the invisibility of autism in women especially. Hope this helps 😊
@@miainwonderland5052 tbh i am an autistic woman and i dont feel like there is a Lack of awarness. What i experiece mich more is that non autistic people have wrong views in the struggles of autism bevause pf the youtubers and tiktokers faking for whatever reason... places like fakedisordercringe are important and i am Glad they are Here to fix the misconpecptions that are spreaded in UA-cam etc.
Most of the autism support groups I have been in have had at least half the people being self-diagnosed. One particular Facebook group took a poll in two thirds of that group were all self-diagnosed. I've seen Reddit groups where they required a formal diagnosis before you were allowed to join and that ticked a lot of people off.
@@kirab6821 That particular group was a Facebook group, but I haven't been a part of it for a few years. There was a specific subreddit that would only let diagnosed people become members. Again, it's been a few years.
That’s disgusting! How can an organisation that’s tailored towards support allow people that don’t even have a diagnosis? We’re not talking about being exclusive, but when you help people with something specific you can’t just invite those that think they’ve got it, it doesn’t work like that!
@@juniper_jumps6610 I have both as well. But it doesn't make sense to join a support group for something you don't have just because there are a few overlapping symptoms. In this case, ADHD is the most common comorbidity with ASD so you'll definitely have people with both. But it wouldn't make sense to join an ASD support group if you only have ADHD or OCD etc. Fakers tend to relate their symptoms to things they misinterpret or have been told things others have misunderstood. Without that verification from a knowledgeable professional, those overlapping "symptoms" could be anything.
I feel a bit guilty for asking an autistic woman at my work tons of questions about my own traits that make me suspect I could be autistic. She said she likes talking to me when I asked if I was overwhelming her with my questions. It was pretty liberating that she did say she always suspected I was autistic before I even mentioned it to her. Ive suspected I'm autistic for about 14 years now 😅. I've got an appointment in January (next month).
@@ryanmackenzie6109 it was just a meeting with the doctor, she referred me to somebody else to get a diagnosis, I filled in a load of online forms and I'm just waiting for my next appointment. I was a bit silly while waiting and dissected my entire Psychology and ended up in a bad place last week 😅. Funnily enough, understanding and accepting my psychology has cured a psychosomatic illness for me.
@@micheals1992 I hope you get to meet your specialist soon enough! And hell yeah!! I'm glad some introspection brought good things, even if it came at the cost of a bit of a rough patch. I hope things keep looking up for you, friend! Oh! And if you get to a point where you start dissecting things again, I highly recommend making a list of the symptoms you experience while you're at it to bring to your diagnostic appointment, if you haven't already! I'm sure you have, but just in case. So, so much luck to you! 🤗
Why anyone would want Autism is beyond me! For me anyone who identify AS very likey is! To come out and identify is hard enough. Remember communicating our needs and reality is our disability.
While I agree coming out and admitting you’ve got characteristics that are similar to that of a diagnosis or even identical is brave and admirable, I also think people need to understand that they could also be mistaken and that self diagnosis is harmful to those that actually are diagnosed.
The water thing is so true. I used to have trouble with keeping myself hydrated (still do). And when I find ally get a taste of water it’s like I can’t stop. I’ll have 3 cups in one go.
Yeah, I’m not looking to be on the spectrum. I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental and bodily health issues over the course if my life. I’m 30 now. I’ve been to so many doctors and they could never tell me anything. In my late 20’s I really started taking note of my thoughts, emotions, behaviors, habits, my family’s medical history, i looked into all of those, I asked friends and family who deal with mental health and who have been diagnosed with different things. After years of looking into everything and comparing disorders alone, with comorbidities. I’ve been listening and reading to hours and hours and hours of people talk and writing about their personal experiences. I’ve taken many online assessments making sure they were from good places, read medical papers, all of that. Everything and everyone is saying it’s a mix of Autism and CPTSD. Like a lot of my life based on how people have talked to me and have treated me I thought “it feels like there’s something everyone else knows about me, but wont tell me.” Honestly, from the perspective of this, my life makes a lot of sense. And really idc whatever the label i have is. I just want to know what’s wrong with, or what makes my brain and body work the way they do me so I know how I can start managing my life better. Also, that water thing lmao but this is the stuff I think about. My fiancée always has to remind me to wat and drink, she started pointing out all of my incessant routines and interests. I asked her to take not of weird things I do and may not notice myself to help me figure things out. She think I am. She’s helping me look into how to get diagnosed and stuff cause, yeah, I hate doctors and wouldn’t go without the motivation. It’s stresses me out. Like I cant wven drive to unfamiliar areas, I have her drive around until I’m familiar with it, then I’ll drive there. It made me think of how I’d always tell my coworkers “you know the work me, not the real me. None of you will ever know the real me.” I always call coming home “getting out of work mode”. I have so many things that would be considered stimms including the leg bouncing and/or rocking depending on how im sittting. I have the sensory issues. I have a heavy mix of CPTSD and ASD and, man I really just want answers. I dont even want the labels. I just names for what I’m going through and have been my whole life. I’m 30 have no friends aside from my fiancée really. Like I have acquaintances, but no one actually close to me. Even my family is very distant. So much so i just moved states completely and it hasn’t effected their lives or mine. Idk. I keep reanalyzing my entire life and remembering different situations that were bad, or may have caused trauma at an early age that explains my behaviors and thought patterns as an adult. And even my fiancée she has ADHD pretty severely, it’s hard for her to even work a lot of the time. So I was looking into that so I knew how she worked. And found out things during that too. I was looking specifically into female related things, so I didn’t pay much attention to stuff like this. It’s been a while I’ve been listening though, and have finally been commenting to hear others thoughts and opinions. And I crazy? Does it sound like I should go get one? Or at least try to save money and find a reputable place and go on a list? What if it is the case, would a diagnosis for ptsd and asd limit me? Would i not be able to work? Could I still support myself and my wife? But then if I am, what if we have kids? Should I prepare form that? It runs in my moms side if the family, I’m questioning whether I am or not. Honestly, to be straight, I really dont have anyone in my life that I can go with this in a meaningful way, so im here asking from others for some genuine pointers. I’m so damn confused and have no idea what to make of anything. Even if people Ik who were diagnosed said probably and to go, I’m still thinking they’re messing with me. Idk. I need some answers guys, otherwise I wouldn’t be monologuing to strangers online and asking for help. I feel like it’s all right in front of me, but I’m not allowed to say hey this all describes me without an official piece of paper that I’d be lucky to get even in the next 5 years. We can barely afford a living let alone an expensive diagnosis. We make just enough to pay rent, bills, food for the house, and maybe a cheap date every other month or so. We want to do better but we clearly have struggles and are doing the best we can. We’re both pretty alone and reclusive people, but we have each other and make it work however we need to. And a lot of this put a lot of our relationship issues into a new perspective after 7 years. Between learning about her ADHD, and us learning a lot about me, we decided to make a lot of accommodations for each other and to not be so hard on ourselves or each other. We understand each other’s limits, discomforts, habits. It’s all clear now, and at least in that sense, we’ve made a lot of progress and are closer than ever. We actually get each other now on such a fundamental level. I mean I see everything in patterns. And everything is starting to fit into place. Like things are starting to line up in my mind and the picture is becoming more and more clear the more reflection I do and Im make myself more aware of what I do and think and really study and understand myself. Like it all fits, but I cant say it without going to see someone. And the stress of being broke and knowing I WONT know for idk how long. My mid 30’s? My 40’s? At that point, would it even matter? Does it even matter now at this point in my life?
While I do think self diagnosis is a start, I think getting a professional evaluation for ASD is at least a confirmation of sorts. I dunno, just my thoughts. Interesting video btw.
A person with a clinical diagnosis who is 'in denial' of their autistic ways and refuses to learn about the disorder is going to be far worse off than a self-diagnosed individual. And although one certainly does not preclude the other, outdated methodologies like the ADOS and the fact that our understanding of the disorder has been exponentially rising, causing certain professionals to be stuck in a time warp, make it *very possible* for "actuallyautistic" individuals to be overlooked or outright misdiagnosed. If someone is stuck in an endless cycle of flourish > meltdown > burnout > recovery, and does it to the point that they end up institutionalized, a psychiatrist might be tempted to just throw their hands up in the air and go, "Well you know how you've got a personality? Turns out it's disordered," and simply stop there, disregarding the fact that the individual is showing this behavior (which may actually constitute a legitimate personality disorder) precisely because they lived their lives undiagnosed, surrounded by mental health professionals for whom ASD never even crossed their mind. If someone thinks they are autistic, gets evaluated, and is told "Nah I think it's actually x, y, and z" by a professional, my first instinct is always "Get a second opinion."
I totally agree with you! You said all that better than I would have. I had some horrendously inaccurate diagnoses pinned on me before I self diagnosed through research (LOTS) and then went to a specialist and got my real diagnosis. ASD. I always suggest to people who are sure they're autistic, to go straight to a specialist. Even some of those aren't great, but it reduces the chance of wasting time and money to get heartbroken.
Getting a diagnosis can also be complicated (especially if you're female) and expensive. I've tried twice now. And was refused a diagnosis flat out (stating she didn't want to make my life harder) and the ghosted when I confronted the Neuropsych about it. As much as I want some words on a paper and a signature. There's no way I can get one. At the very least she diagnosed my 3 LDs and my ADHD. just not the Tism..
@natashasullivan4559 You likely got an incompetent clinician. I have helped at least four separate adult women appeal misdiagnoses, going so far as to sit on the phone with the clinician and explain to them why their differential dx is missing the mark. Every single one of them walked away with the proper diagnosis. Unless you are working with a clinician explicitly experienced with autistic people--preferrably adults--your odds of getting misdiagnosed is fairly high
@@cda6590 I was working specifically with a Neuropsychologist who had a history of working with Women. She just wouldn't diagnose me. Like, I was at my autism support group. And one of the girls there recommended her to me. This "Doctor" went so far as to ghost me because I wouldn't accept her non answer. (literally only emailed her once after the visit)
I was self diagnosed for many years until I finally was able to get the formal giagnosis in July. I agree with self diagnosis as a first step, but I'm not sure how I feel about self diagnosed people trying to be autistic influencers.
FDC has lots of good points when it comes to DID where people are actually spreading misinformation etc.. but the other stuff i'm just like why?? people are just sharing their experiences with said disorder that is actually back up by research yet they try to tell you it's not.
I self identified for two years and no one(family) believed me. In march 19th i got diagnosed with autism, adhd, intellectual disability, launguage disorder, anxiety, bulluima, substance abuse(alchoul)!!!!!!
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 my sister still didn't buy it that much but they still don't see it as a big deal because they just don't understand it. they don't know anything about . they only think of it as the profound kind
I think my main concern with over diagnosis, ia that we don't fully understand the impact of personal screens 12 hours a day from age 1 and a half on development. That is possibly changing what normal development looks like. Could a neurotypical child maybe have impaired social skills maybe attention span issues from excessive screen time, and because their development looks more like autistic development than pre-screen-addiction-the-norm neurotypical development, they then get diagnosed with autism and ADHD? We need to understand the impact of screens on development in neurotypicals, so we can identify maybe when the issue is too much screens affecting social skills development, rather than a neurodevelopmental disorder.
I've come to the conclusion I am likely autistic..but I don't want to state it until confirmed. its especially noticiable in extreme stress - had a period where i wasn't able to function properly without my partner taking over alot of my executive function, confirming if my emotional response was aligned to threat imposed. I'm not sure where this lands me.. but I wouldn't ant to take away from people that need help right now. (I've done the online tests, I'm consistently scoring high)
I felt like this, but I've been through a screening for diagnosis now & I feel like my self-diagnosis is as valid as I'm gonna get while I'm waiting to be diagnosed. I also score very high on online autism tests. I feel like an official diagnosis will just be confirmation now I've been waiting so long
@@shannonm8512 If you haven't received a diagnosis of any kind from a professional and immediately jump to a conclusion based off a Google search or watching videos, it's a problem.
You're not taking anything from anyone. I promise you. The very little resources available to Autistic people are guarded behind a diagnosis anyways. Join the communities. Listen to others. Learn from them. There is no theft of knowledge. There is no theft in finding tools to help your situation. You making accommodations and space for yourself takes nothing from anyone else.
After finding out about Autism in November 2023, it's just so hard to just stop 'researching' about it. (Aka. Going on subreddits about autism, tons of quors questions, and seeing what other people are experiencing + watching tons of youtube videos from autistic creators.) I definitely know I am NT but still, it's hard to drive myself away from the belief that, "is there a chance?"
The easiest way ive found to make an educated guess about a faker (they EXIST) is if they never address the potential profit motive and claim there are no possible benifits. On the internet. . . Using social media, it should be clear faking a disorder could make you a living.
Thank you, I love this. I'm AFAB and present with a lot of "atypical" traits, so even though after months of deep dives I'm 95% sure I'm autistic, the imposter syndrome hits hard. I used to be the sort of person who championed official diagnosis but I'm definitely getting a taste of my own medicine now. My psychiatrist won't even help me with a referral (not out of stigma, I'm in Canada and they tend to be pretty chill here) because it's a long, grueling process. So fucking irritating, especially because I have absolutely learned that people who fake disorders are like one in 10 million.
"Peer-diagnosis" was always a thing. It used to sound like, "youre weird", "youre different", "youre stupid", ..... and now its "you might be autistic" which is obviously a lot better. It literally is NOT a diagnosis. And it is incredibly helpful for someone to notice traits you arent aware of and tell you in a way that isnt judgemental or bullying, and is constructive.
I've always known I was different. I finally read Elaine Aron's book in 2014 and called myself HSP. Then 2 or 3 years ago I began to believe I am autistic because I fit in better with autistics in various groups online than I did/ do with HSP's who seemed too loud and too "normal" to me. I have had 2 pre-assessments and am on a 4 year waiting list for the assessment.
Before I had a formal assessment I said "I think I have autism." It wasn't until I was formally diagnosed did I say " I have autism." I just thought it was being respectful.
I am 69, and it never occurred to me that I might be autistic until a year or so ago. Maybe not even that long ago. Once I realized that autistic people don't have to be like Rainman or like the character that Leonardo Decaprio played in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape", I realized that it could explain a massive number of things about my life from my earliest childhood memories, on. I want to get an official diagnosis when I can, but for now, I am just trying to learn. I really don't think that most people were aware of the spectrum when I was young, which is probably why I was never officially diagnosed back then. Most people DID think that all autistic people were like Rain Man or Leo Decaprio's character in the aforementioned movie. I have taken a few quizzes online, which should help me in my quest for an official diagnosis. I scored a 34 on the Autism Spectrum Quotient. I scored a 123 on the RAADS-R. And, I scored 103 out of 200 on the Aspie Quiz, which said I have a 55% chance of being atypical (autistic/neurodiverse). However, I don't feel comfortable with the self-diagnosis thing, so if I can get an official diagnosis, I definitely will. In my area, it is a bit tricky...at least if only a psychiatrist can do it. You kind of indicated, though, that it doesn't HAVE to be an actual psychiatrist.
great video! I think you covered a lot of things there. The concept of defining who to include into a group and who not is not specific to the autism community. You could say every group does this and it is also a process that never really ends for most groups. The only thing different in autism is probably that on average there might be more people prone to rigid thinking than in other groups. But even then. An extremist political group is probably also a lot more rigid in who to include than a middle of the road group would be. There's a lot of videos out there that define 5 traits or 7 or 60 and if you have one or any of them you may or may not be autistic. There was a study in which they tried to train an "AI" to diagnose autism and the Algorithm chose 5 factors which worked best (for the Algorithm). Like you said, it is actually hard to make a clear cut line. And even for the AI a lot of the diagnostic tools were comperative - if not all of them. You are going to be measured against a "neurotypical" group and then it's pretty much a how weird are you and is it weird enough to give you the label. Atypical behavior is not exactly one thing. Just like typical behavior isn't just one way of doing things. A diagnosis is mainly there to help you and to help other medical institutions sort of recognize what is what. It is not there to include you into a social group of likeminded people. If you identify as non binary there is no diagnosis for this. No group will ask you to show them permission to join them. You join them because you share their struggles and way of thinking. There's no 100% way to be nonbinary. And even if you share the struggles and the thinking and you define yourself as Cis, then that is legitimate. The autism community should not at all rely on diagnosis as a tool on who is legit and who is not. It's not helping anyone. The focus is on sharing experiences, exchanging advice on how to deal and on sharing interests. I don't see any reason why official diagnosis is needed for any of those. And there is almost zero chance an attention seeking group of neurotypicals takes over the autistic community and just makes it their show. Because they got nothing else to do. Trust me neurotypicals have a lot of other things to do. I know that it is easy to fall back to diagnosis and hard facts. If I go to the stereotypical autistic man who likes Dinosaurs and Trains. Those are clearly labeled. Everything has a name and falls into a category. It is super clear cut. Autism is not that clear cut. If you google autism you get a set of "may" and "often" statements but no "definitely" or "always".
The thing about diagnosis is that it can be majorly difficult. And majorly expensive. And even more expensive when you try it and it goes wrong. I know I'm autistic. I've known since it hit me like a hammer when I was 24. I was with my dad and we were chatting. And the topic of his autim came up (he was diagnosed as a kid. And autistic is likely genetic) he started mentioning things. And I was huh.. wow.. I can relate to those. Soooo I then spent the next 3-4 months researching and basically building a case. Like I was trying to make a legal case. Then, I decided to try seeing a Neuropsych. She said she could diagnose a laundry list of things, including ADHD. Obviously I'd found the comorbitity of ADHD and autism in my research. And I was fairly certain I had it as well. I went, had the assessment. My dad came and did his interview. My girlfriend at the time did as well. In the end. She diagnosed me with 2 LDs, Dyslexia and Dyscalculia (my inability to function at school suddenly made more sense) she said I likely had ADHD but didn't feel comfortable diagnosing it. And said she wasn't comfortable diagnosing the ASD either. Well, there was a bunch of money out the window. During the next year I found another Neuropsych. I was told she was good at diagnosing Females. I was like, sweet that's what I need. Gonna try this again. This time I couldn't get my dad there for an interview. But everything else went smoothly. She was like uhhhh yes you absolutely have ADHD. Not sure why the other Dr wouldn't diagnose you. And Along with the Two LDs. You have NVLD (Non verbal Learn Disability. And again, my struggles graduation HS made way more sense) HOWEVER I *wont* diagnose you with Autism. Notice she didn't say you're not autistic. But that she wouldn't diagnose me. I nodded and left. I felt awful. It was good the other items had been confirmed. But the one I was really looking for was again dismissed. So I went home and thought about things for a while. My confidence had taken a hit. I was having a lot of imposter feelings. So I emailed her. Wrote a long book basically. And included all of my findings but in E-format. (I'd taken a binder with me with all of my self tests and all of my research printed out.) I was asking her for an answer. Why wouldn't you diagnose me. She gave be some bullshit non-answer. Basically it was likely I'm autistic. But I won't officially diagnose you. Because it could make you struggle (it's literally my choice to get the diagnosis. That's why I went..) And then proceeded ghost me. And this was a Doctor that I'd paid for services. I had, imo, every right to ask her about her reasoning. But, here we are. No ASD diagnosis (even though both NVLD and ADHD, and LDs are all very coorbid to Autism. And family members are autistic....) I've spent money to see two people who refused to help me. And there's no way I could pay for a third. I'm not legitimately diagnosed. The amout if biases in some parts of medicine. Especially if you're a woman. And don't present as the typical thing (usually was originally only diagnosed in men) it cwn br incredibly difficult to grt your foot in the door. Even though I really am autistic. But because it's a "self diagnosis". People like that sub redit would never take me seriously. All because a doctor refused to diagnose me. After telling me I probably am. But that she wouldn't put it on the diagnosis paper. 🤷🏽♀️ Judging people on words on a piece of paper just seems super lame. Especially when those words cost thousands of dollars in places like the US. Also, being undiagnosed as a child with all of LD and ND disabilities, lead to me being unable to geafuate high school... We need to do better.
Thank you for sharing I have run into similar dismissal from doctors on physical health issues as well! I will keep it in mind when I speak to anyone about it.
@@lisareid7043 lots of people, especially disabled people and women tend to be dismissed often in the medical field. It's something that desperately needs to change. And it's something to keep in mind about diagnostics. It's something I try to keep in mind too. It can be easy to get sucked into the "over diagnosed snowflakes" mindset
I was diagnosed at 3 years old in 1993 (back when the DSM 4 still considered Aspergers syndrome a separate classification of Autism from what most people think of Autism as. But since the DSM 5 changed all that by putting all the Autism Spectrum Disorders under one umbrella back in 2011, that's changed a bit. Doesn't mean I'm not autistic anymore, I've always been this way. Always going to be this way. It's just the name and classification has changed) and even back then, there was very little knowledge about Autism leading to a lot of fear and misunderstanding. And although these days, we have technology, the information still gets skewed because people are not always open to that exposure to gain the knowledge of what they don't understand to allow them to see the world better.
I’m self diagnosed, and even after 4 years of nearly daily information gathering, and fitting in better than I ever have anywhere within an ND group therapy community, I am still insecure about my self diagnosis. But I don’t have insurance, and I can barely afford the nonnegotiable medical costs I have. Considering a diagnosis won’t get me anything aside from clarity about myself, it is currently ridiculous to prioritize getting formally diagnosed as autistic.
If you were to discover you don’t have a diagnosis, but someone else with a genuine diagnosis missed out on support because of others self diagnosing, would that affect you negatively or positively?
@@solitudeguard5688 I’m not sure how that could effect anyone positively, unless they just like to see the world burn… But, sure. I’ll entertain your hypothetical if you’ll entertain mine. I assume that you mean because I’m taking up a resource by being in that therapy group. First off, the group is very accepting of self diagnosis, so I have every right to be there. And whether or not I’m genuinely autistic, I have found more personal development, self understanding, and improvement in my basic hygiene/life skills by being in this group than I have in any other therapy or mental healthcare space. I’m sorting out things I’ve never been able to address after trying to for years. So if I am autistic, sweet! I really needed that support, and I’m glad I advocated for myself and got what I needed after failing to find adequate support for myself for a decade. And if some day I find I’m not autistic, I am so GLAD I was mislead into this corner of online therapy services, because they’re still the only ones that have been working for me, and autistic or not (I don’t know what I would be considered if I’m an NT, just massively depressed and lazy and awkward and I guess a highly sensitive person) I really needed THIS brand of support. And why does someone with autism deserve help, but an HSP with severe depression to the point of being disabled does not deserve help? Also. When the group therapies fill up, more are created, so I’m really not the reason a “real” autistic person can’t get support anyway. Now here is my hypothetical: If I really genuinely AM autistic, but it takes me another 5-10 years to reach a financially stable enough place to afford diagnostics, would you be affected positively or negatively by the possible impact your comment could have had on an accurately self diagnosed autistic person? As I see it, there are a couple potential outcomes: 1) I feel insecure about my self diagnosis for a few hours, and then rally and stand strong in my belief system, and suppose this is an opportunity for a (hopefully healthy) debate. 2) Your comment brings up moderate feelings of imposter syndrome, and they bother me for a while (days to weeks), increasing my anxiety and taking precedence over other therapy goals until I revalidate my self diagnosis, probably after talking it through in group, with a support person, revisiting the diagnostic criteria, retaking the CAT-Q and other online diagnostic tests, and rewatching many, many UA-cam videos. 3) I feel so mortified and ridiculous by the imposter syndrome, that I pull out of my online support group and stop identifying myself as autistic. I spend the next 5-10 years hating myself for being a failure of an NT who can’t handle life or do anything right, despite supposedly having everything I should need to succeed, and continue to mask to my significant detriment, until I finally officially get diagnosed 5-10 years from now when I can finally afford it. Are you satisfied with the possible impacts your comment could have had?
these so called self-DX people are bull crap, it hurts those who are legitimately disabled , also all these so called self DX'd people al like to flaunt their ''tics, and quarks'' and say oh look at me, look how disabled i am'' its sickening. and again, its a slap in the face to real people who do in fact, yes, suffer, from these disabilities. also: these gen z and young y2k fools on tiktok are not the only ones who fake being autistic or otherwise disabled: their was older millennials, genXers and even boomers who used to go on youtube and d this shit, Amanda baggs was one of many of the older crowd ( genX) , another one is Thomas wood (boomer) who has a youtube channel where he talks about diapers and nerf guns that lives in new Hampshire . they both faked being autistic, along with various physical disabilities and medical issues too. this disability faking online for attention was happening on youtube long before tiktok, Amanda baggs used to fake being very severe and nonverbal. lastly another reason we all know its 100% fake is these people on tiktok, youtube etc. always post their put-on-for-the-camera stimming, playing with baby toys and sensory toys, also, these folks who fake being autistic and think its cute and quirky, same with the tourettes and epilepsy fakers: they all seem to , while during a meltdown, or heavy tic on-set, and seizures, they all seem to miraculously be able to process enough to grab a camera or a smart phone, turn it on, put it into position, hit record, AND stay in frame during their so called '' uncontrollable'' seizures, autistic meltdowns, and intense tic episodes, i worked in the disability services world for over 20 years and i have never seen or even heard of any person who was legit disabled in those ways and had those issues would even be remotely capable of being able to process enough to do all that, or be able to ''control'' their seizures, severe, tics meltdowns enough to take the time to grab a camera, hit record, and again, stay in frame for their ''episode''
If it was that big a deal to me, I could go and get my MPsy in less time than it takes to get diagnosed by a doctor. .. So i could self diagnose.... With a piece of paper that says I've done clinical work and I've passed tests and given presentations demonstrating my mastery. Or, I'm autistic, and I'm very likely to be an autodidact and psychology has been a major special interest of mine for 20 years, my Bachelor's degree had a focus on criminal psychology. My MBA had a focus on change management.
I'm as sure as I can be, as a nonprofessinal, without extensive experience in other things (like trauma, for instance) that have symptoms that overlap, that I'm autistic. In the end, though, it matters more what I'm learning about myself and how I'm reevaluating my entire 59 years of living with no help or appropriate support. With last year's ADHD diagnosis combined with what I'm learning about ASD absolutely everything has changed, and my inner world is so much safer and less full of shame than I ever could have hoped for before this. I'll still pursue an evaluation, but whatever the outcome, I won't leave all that wonderful self growth behind for anything.
The way I got my AuDHD diagnosis was actually by pure chance. Like many of you who already have/looking for an Autism and/or ADHD diagnosis I always just thought of myself as that wierd kid all of my peers would just dislike and "had to take care of". I thought it was just what my "normal" was, and nothing I did would change that. Even in University, I went sicko-mode, completely losing my sense of self, trying to fit in while masking. But still, not matter how hard I tried to fit into the puzzle, I still heard murmurs of people thinking that "there's just something off about her" and would still not really fit into any friend groups. I would lilly-pad a lot, while still dying from all the impressions and sensations I had to process when I got back home. Eventually when all of the school work, part-time work and draining socialization made me fail my internship I lost it. I ended up at an emergency psychiatric unit and after a couple of months of evaluating me, it was concluded that I had Autism 1 and ADHD. When knowing this the reality hit me like a truck. It all made sense now. It took a long time, I paused my studies and moved back home to my parents. The hardest part was and still is trying to unmask the person I made myself to be to function in society to finally be able to relax and just be me. Either way, I got lucky, so I hope everyone that has read my story and thinks they may have Autism and/or ADHD becomes inspired to get a diagnosis of their own. I recieved so much support and knowledge about myself and I hope you also get to have that experience! Good luck :)
If it's a spectrum, then we should ALL fall somewhere on this spectrum. That's why everyone can see something that is relatable. Doesn't mean you have autism. I think it should go back to specific criteria, function level and Aspergers.
I agree with you. I try not to tell people as I’m very calm and keep my opinions to myself for the most part, but when people say we’re all autistic or on the spectrum a little, it’s quite upsetting because it reflects on a lack of understanding of the diagnosis and makes it easy to generalise, thus making an “invisible disorder” even more complex because there are still others that think there’s nothing wrong. Maybe it will always be that way, I honestly don’t know.
I don't even see how self-diagnosis could take resources away from diagnosed individuals. Like, since it's not written on a paper, you couldn't possibly be able to officially access them, and as Thomas stated, there aren't that many resources for people older than 25. So I don't see how bad self-diagnosis might be rather than people just wanting to bully and nitpicking on ND people's traits just because they look "weird" or "quirky". Self-diagnosis has been a huge tool for understanding myself and that's how I view it from my perspective and I don't really understand what there is bad about it and why people would want to make less of me and my experience for identifying myself as autistic.
I don't tell anybody in real life that I'm self diagnosed because nobody would ever take me seriously. I can't get a diagnosis because it would unfairly end my career, but I've done enough research to not only diagnose myself, but also write a whole essay on my criticisms of the diagnostic process for autistic adults. Because, you know, autistic special interests.
I like your video. Sadly ppl see the symptoms and think they have that one disorder. In my case an ADHD/ADS Test would come out as positive, but it is because I am epileptic. Not because I have ADS.
As an autistic person with a diagnosis I hate the concept of ''fake disorder cringe'' especially that horrible Subreddit. A lot and I mean a lot of those people who get posted are very open about being diagnosed and a lot of cases far from the stereotype or in a lot of other cases like the stereotype.
I wonder if people are really faking it though. I mean I'm pretty sure some people do because there are scumbags, but I really hope these are just autistic people posting.
People who have the means to obtain a professional evaluation should seek it out or they should not expect anyone to take their self-diagnosis seriously. People who do not have the means should not self diagnose, they should entertain a possibility until such time they can get a professional evaluation. Self diagnosis is never valid IMO. My wife works in autism services and my nephew has diagnosed ASD. We all find self diagnosis offensive.
It’s strange to here DID is more accurately diagnosed than depression. I supposed if you think someone has DID, you’re probably given some obvious traits that give it away. But at the same time, people with DID spend an average of 7 years misdiagnosed with something else, and thus receiving the wrong treatment, before they are correctly diagnosed with DID.
I'm late-dx ADHD and self-dx autistic. Where I am in the US there aren't many resources if you weren't diagnosed as a kid (my fault for being born a girl I guess 🙃). Considering the cost and potential danger of a formal dx (medical discrimination, being put on a registry, etc), I'm in no rush to get one. I see no benefit to it. Even if I go back to school, my ADHD dx should cover me if I need accomodations. Anyway, every shrink I saw as a burnt out teenager ignored me when I told them about my emotionally abusive father and just pumped me full of drugs and told me to suck it up, buttercup. What do they know?
😮I feel that many of these late-diagnosed pseudo-autistics, who in my opinion mostly have ADHD and high sensitivity, are setting a new standard for autism and presenting it as the norm. This contradicts the clinical diagnoses and criteria that should typically be met. On TikTok, so-called pseudo-AuDHS autistics often appear hyper-empathic and have several "special interests" that seem more like hobbies. For example, someone might claim that art and music are their special interests, but they simply play guitar and paint rather than delving deeply into the history of music or guitar, which would be more characteristic of a true special interest. These individuals often use a lot of facial expressions and have normal intonation. It's problematic that they act as if they speak for all autistics. While it's true that every autistic person is different, I wonder how these individuals received their diagnoses. The content in their videos shows few of the typical autistic traits, and they often claim to do a lot of "masking." If someone exhibits such high empathy, it raises the question of why they need to mask, since high empathy would imply they can recognize and respond to others' emotions and expressions. This contradicts a fundamental aspect of autism, which includes difficulties in social interaction and communication. Furthermore, they argue that not every autistic person has a savant ability, but this misses the point. Many genuine autistics have special talents or strengths in specific areas while having notable deficits in others. These talents might not be savant abilities but are often characterized by high pattern recognition and intense focus on their special interests. However, those reporting their autism on TikTok rarely mention such talents or strengths. I believe many of these individuals might not truly be autistic. Instead, a brain scan by a neurologist might provide more clarity than relying on subjective and superficial diagnoses. There are serious concerns that the criteria for an autism diagnosis are becoming diluted, leading to misunderstandings and false perceptions about the autistic spectrum.
Late-diagnosed, key word there. Never got the chance to truly accept who they were meant to be as kids, went through life with subtracting from their identity to seem more "normal." Obviously, at 38, they'd have spent 38 years on this planet, maybe 33 they could remember. They'd know a smidgen more about how they were "supposed" to act as someone who was "supposed" to be Neurotypical, and went through life the same way a Neurotypical would without being Neurotypical. Masking in Autism builds over time; the later you find it, the harder it is to slip the mask off. There's the normal facial expressions they know they're "supposed" to make, and since it's been so long without the mask off, they still make them. They know that them speaking as them sounds weird, so they speak like a Neurotypical as best they can, consciously or not. Remember, these people are often commented on for their voices at a young age over and over. Told they sound strange. And despite autism not being diagnosed at the time, it does NOT make those autistic traits disappear. No, in fact, they're likely to believe the traits are THEIR fault. That's what they've been told, after all. They've went through life suffering in a way nobody should have to. And the thing about that is that you only see what people put online of themselves. For all you know, that person with a Special Interest in guitar could be learning a heck of a lot about guitars in their free time. They wouldn't post their research, obviously though- because that's not what the channel is about. And again, autistic traits are often viewed as "bad" by unaware neurotypicals.. which means they might have been told to just shut up the last time they opened up about their special interest. Because to most people, it just sounds like blabbing. And oh, the high empathy thing. That is an autistic trait. You can feel bad for the table after you bump into it, you can be empathetic towards people. But remember, autistic people want very different treatment than neurotypical people. So when they treat neurotypical people the way they'd want to be treated...it typically goes very wrong. I personally learned how people work by absolutely scouring the psychology available on the internet for 6 years straight. That was the only way I could learn how neurotypicals work. For all you know, these people could be doing the same. And empathy isn't always about reading expressions- autistic people pick up on patterns. They are very, very likely to notice something is out of the ordinary with you- and again, late-diagnosis. They've been through an extreme amount of roughness before receiving that diagnosis, they've been forced to adapt even though it was probably so painful that they shouldn't have HAD to been forced to adapt. It was just the way things turned out for them for one reason or the other. And about the talents thing you said...again, late diagnosis. Low self esteem, have probably been told they're stupid for not understanding certain things their entire life. What makes you think that they would open up to a bunch of internet strangers about something like that? And sure, they might not actually have autism, just like the doctor might misdiagnose you over and over, or not diagnose you at all. But the imposter syndrome has probably already made them look into virtually everything else, so I personally think that they're all good. Not meant to cause argument, I just notice these sorts of points a lot.
Several years ago i self-diagnosed and joined a disussion board. Something by somebody who became mute for two weeks because his senses were overwhelmed was so far from my own experience that i began to doubt myself and quit the discussion board. But since then details have piled up. I hate sports. I dont participate. I don't watch (i can't figure out what's going on anyway) and i can't understand why anybody puts so much effort into things that are so unimportant. My Mom forced me to sign up for 5th grade basketball. In the on game i played in i got the ball and was too confused to know what to do next. I avoid socializing in a group. That's where bullying started. I dealt with one on one bullying by slugging the bully as hard as i could. Even when i inevitably lost he repected me enough to stop after that. I regularly bump into furniture and doorways. Coffee tables are my enemies. I read advice about job hunting. It said to make eye contact. I already knew that just staring was a bad idea so i studied others to see what they did i also learned that i can gat away with looking a the others mouth most of the time. Later a psychotherapist told me i couldnt be autistic because i made eye contact. I used to go to parties because a pretty girl might be there. Nothing happened if there was. A party was good if several of us ended up in the kitchen discussing something that sounds profound if you're at least half drunk. The "discussion" was mostly me talking.when it didnt go well i was the guy sitting in the corner. The loneliedt thing in the world for me is being in a group of people I think i should know better than i do. Usually i had only one or two friends at a time. For several years my best friend was two years younger than me. I used to think i didn't have any sensory issues, but persistent odors bother me a lot. I often can smell things others can't. I can concentrate on something so much the world might as well not exist. I was studying computer programming I lived in a house where the furnace used a pilot light. It had been knocked out of position somehow so a lot of gas accumulated before it ignited. My housemates refered to the sounds as explosions. I never heard them until somebody pointed them out. It was very loud. The appropriate onomotopiea was not "whumpf" but "boom". I used to walk with a very long stride. When somebody mocked me i tried hard to walk like others. I usually spoke in a slow monotone. In college somebody said i formed my sentences like they were a book. I know many monosyllabic words but if one doesnt convey the exact meaning i want, what could i do? I do not rigidly hold to routines, but the opposite. I'm not a stickler for sameness in my environment. If my home doesn't stink and i can find things i call it clean. The longest i ever held a job was five years. One year i held eleven different jobs. In the last regular job i had I took over a project that would have failed otherwise. Its success more than doubled the size of the company. Then we got a new boss and that didn't matter any more. I was fired within three months. My alleged manager had been ordered to not give me a raise. He marked me down for not doing things i had made clear that i would not and could not do. A coworker had asked me for help on a program she was writing. I noted that she had her files designed all wrong (not normalized if you know what that means) But she never asked me about that. She told the manager i made her feel stupid. I swear i was trying not to let on. I inadvertantly offended some people. A salesman gave me holy hell because i told a client the truth about a mistake we had made. I was told to write a response to my bad review. I fumed about it until I was a meltdown and went home not sure i ever wanted to go back. But i did When i got there i no longer had a job. It had been my dream job. When i started i was given a list of problems and was told to work on what i thought was most important. What could be better than not having to answer to a boss? Getting fired was a big blow. Being good at programming wasnt enough to hold my job. Later i was thinking about how i might convince a potential employer to hire me. I realized i wouldnt hire me either. Fitting in mattered and i couldnt do it. I gave up looking for work and after that only did construction work that could be done solo. Of course I'm autistic. Yet the DSM doesn't agree.
I have felt that most people mocking TikToks are pointing out those they believe are fakes. I mostly see DID, Tourette's or some other 'shocking' disorder that will get them attention. I have definitely seen a few that looked like they might be narcissists more than their claims lol. Not sure I would see the benefit in faking autism, but I guess people do all manner of strange things.
I liked cringe compilations because it’s kind of funny seeing the weird stuff people come up with like DID and all the obvious fakers. However it’s not funny when NTs get so mad about every autism video or any time someone talks about their disorder. A lot of times those NTs are just assuming it’s all about diagnosis and not about people relating to each other.
A ton of cringe compilations are of either people with diagnosis's or who have disorders that are likely pose in such manner as to gain satisfaction or out of feeling inclined to by the symptoms. For example, A person that poses histrionic personality disorder is likely going to seek gratification from various forms of self-humiliation, another underlooked disorder is factitious disorder which used to be known as Munchausen by proxy. I am against fake claiming personally, and DID is an under-researched topic, It does exist.
You SELF IDENTIFY as gay, you don't self diagnose being gay... Using the word self diagnose that means your doing something wrong in the medical world, even as a educated doctor and you should get another doctors opinion, just doesn't seem all that good an idea. The amateur world just doesn't seem to understand how negative "self diagnose" is in the professional world. You can't even self defend as a lawyer without it being scientifically proven to be a bad...
Self-identify seems to be a better fit, I do believe in the need for a system within the psychiatric community or else it makes legal and policies very difficult to implement effectively. - I will definitely consider the changing of terms in the future as I hear what you are saying
it is actually completely possible to diagnose autism with a brain scan now, but the companies who make the machines don't want them used for that for some reason? I think insurance or just general profit motive. I may very well be misremembering though~
If the focus is on preventing, then the autistic people who do exist will suffer greatly. We can be happy and fulfilled individuals, especially with accomodations. The only way to prevent autism is eugenics. I think a cure should ne available to those who want it (I want to get rid of about half of my autism and understand those who want to get rid of all of it) but to make that the only focus is terrifying!
people who seek a diagnosis don't want the disorder, they want an answer to their symptoms. also autism "prevention" is either eugenics or child abuse. As someone who went through some now-illegal autism therapies, these "preventative methods" just make you suppress those undesirable traits. The traits are still there. Accommodating just means helping people to live a happy and fulfilled life despite whatever difficulties they may have, how is that a bad thing?
@i.cs.z I once asked someone why they like their own comments. They said "if I don't like me, why should anyone else?" And now that phrase lives in my head and I started liking my own comments🤣
I can't make phone calls and every time I miss appointments I get letters saying give us a call etc as if it's nothing..... It's not nothing to me! Asking me to do this is like asking me to parachute jump
I always write out scripts with blanks or checks to fill in answers before I make a phone call so that I know I covered everything, But I hate phone calls and only do them as a last resort.
@@hispoiema Email or messenger is the best communication method for me.
Same
And the support services I pursue that only have phone numbers as ways to contact them. It can be enraging
I'm glad to know its not just me 👍
I have a valid autism dx I received at 19. Sometimes I bring it to new doctors and I get "some doctors can be wrong" lol. We cant win
Well they're right. Some doctors can be wrong, like them. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not valid for your autism diagnosis.
I am autistic, was clinically diagnosed at 31, and am in the process of going back to school to work within the field of clinical psychology. If I ever go down the route of providing folks with clinical diagnoses, my first question to the individual is literally going to be "So why do you think you're on the spectrum?" Due to the nature of the 'disorder,' it is far more important for the individual to understand that they are autistic and what that implies than for the medical community to acknowledge it via 'official papers.'
thats literally the first question I was asked in my assesment
Depends on how you ask the question. I've seen exactly one psychologist for this who is supposed to be an expert. She was already annoyed and told me I was late. I'd made it into the reception area 1-2 minutes before the hour and sat down. There was a whole other side where it wrapped around, and a couple of minutes later the receptionist came around to find me and lead me to the other side.
Anyway, I was already anxious because I am chronically late due to idiopathic central nervous system hypersomnia that makes it extremely difficult to wake up for morning appointments. I hate driving in the big city and I've developed a high level of anxiety. I went to two buildings before I found her office.
It was early December and my furnace had stopped working the week prior. The weather had just begun a record-breaking cold snap, and I had no heat in my house. I couldn't remember if they'd sent me paperwork and I was consumed with trying to figure out space heaters, and watch UA-cam videos on how to troubleshoot my furnace model. The month prior I'd been denied again for disability, harshly. I'd already long been in survival mode financially and threatened with foreclosure, and harassed by student loans that were supposed to have been forgiven in TPD discharge.
So after this woman addressed me in that annoyed barely veiled hostility, the question "So what makes you think you're autistic? " was too much for an already overwhelmed brain. I had a hundred different channels of thought trying to come out through one mouth and I didn't know which one she needed to hear. I needed more structure and a less broad question. I already had been late diagnosed with ADHD a year or two prior. I have extreme difficulty answering questions directly as it is, and even more so when I feel under pressure and threat. I felt the need to explain play I was not better prepared and couldn't organize my thoughts. When I did start mentioning things she was like a tennis player rushing the net to smack down each individual thing I said.
She ended up lecturing me for half the appointment about how I didn't have autism and I was wasting her time, and she mentioned a couple of the outdated male-centric stereotypes. She added "you wouldn't have any friends" and I said "I don't! I just lost three friends in the last couple of months."
She condescendingly said to come back when I had my life more together or something like that. It was clear that she was unwilling or unable to handle the layers of emotional trauma that is nearly always present with undiagnosed autism over a lifetime. It was like she expected me to serve up the most concise textbook answer on a silver platter so that she didn't have to do any of the work. No wonder she claims to be able to identify autism within the hour of meeting someone, if she's only cherry-picking the most obvious cases and denying the more complex ones like mine.
I'm so glad to hear that more autistic people are getting trained and licensed to diagnose others. That appointment I had just added to my trauma and I'm honestly surprised that I'm even still here. 8 years of autistic burnout is too much. Psychologists must understand that complex PTSD is almost certainly going to be part of the picture and they need a certain amount of compassion and competence to treat people with a bit of dignity.
I share my story because I really hope psychologists will learn to do better. Best of luck in your studies and great success in identifying the many alternative presentations of ASD that still tragically go unrecognized.
@@BillieGote her: "you don't have autism, you're fine"
also her: "come back when you get your life together"
@@sylvianimates Also her: when I sat in their waiting room afterwards, studiously handwriting my responses to each upsetting statement she'd peppered me with while I could still remember them all, she tried to label me on my record as manic and added this gaslighting CYA to the visit summary: "... I hope she's okay!" 🤨🙄🙄 It was jaw-dropping and deeply discouraging how quickly she doubled down on her existing antagonistic defensive hostility to also paint me as the unstable one, to preemptively discredit any feedback from me as unreliable, should I choose to submit my own notes to the medical group.
She really didn't want to see me back. She'd told me dismissively that she wasn't the right person for me to be seeing, and only condescended to suggest I could return when I responded that with their two unfilled psychologist positions, I had no one else to go to.
The whole incident felt very much like I was not the first one she'd gone off on and attempted to run out on a rail of misdiagnosis rather than acknowledge the existence of an undiagnosed high-masking AFAB autistic adult with comorbidities.
I couldn't shake the feeling that it was a whole lot of projection from her.
This is one of the reasons I have put off going to get tests for ASD for over a year now. I also worried that they will not listen to me, invalidate my experiences, etc.
I was diagnosed with ADHD as a young kid. But over the past year or so after coming across autistic adult videos particularly late diagnosed females I've thought more and more how I fit into the spectrum. My seven year old son was just diagnosed in March too. That psychologist was amazing. I hope when I do reach out I can get her or someone like her. I'm sorry you had to deal with that from someone whom is supposed to be a professional. I hope you're doing well and hope you have found someone who will actually listen to you . ❤
I was diagnosed when I was young (13ish?) My school demanded it, but we tried to get my son diagnosed and all the doctors said "You really don't want to do that, it could hurt him later in life" and refused to test. I'm in the US, so yay for health care. Plenty of doctors said that my son was definitely autistic but wouldn't put it in writing. All that to say, diagnosis isn't always available.
I just wrote a whole book in the comments saying this, lol.
I was also told (as an adult) that I'm autistic but that they wouldn't officially diagnose me.
Even though I went there as an adult seeking it.. knowing the "risks"
And it's so expensive..
I've been told the same thing about seeking diagnosis for myself AND my eldest child. I believe we are both autistic. I've been researching it for quite some time, but I'm hesitant to seek a formal diagnosis for either of us because I keep getting told how it would hinder our lives having an official diagnosis.
@@lizza4250 I don't think it would be a hindrance as long as you don't plan on moving to NZ or Australia. And as long as you use it wisely. Your child might need help. Is it possible they could also have learning disabilities? I did. But because I never went through diagnosis. It was untreated. And I didn't do well
Definitely think hard on it
@@lizza4250I am wishing you so much luck. I don't think I'd know what I'd do in that situation
@@ryanmackenzie6109 I appreciate it. It's a "caught between a rock and a hard place" sort of thing, but I'm trying to do what I think is best for my child to give them every opportunity when they reach adulthood.
I don't know about the UK or other places but in the USA you usually need a diagnosis to get most services. And even if you are officially diagnosed you won't get many services.
You know what's cringe? Feeling shut out from even being able to get a thorough diagnosis because my HMO Kaiser Medicare offers limited options which I already exhausted. I'm 76. My lived experience is valid, and I'm certain of being neurodivergent. I've evolved beyond anyone's verbal sticks and stones. Is it autism? ADHD? Wish I knew. Thanks for reading my comment. At least that's something.
Your life as a neurodivergent person is absolutely valid. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Thanks for sharing.
You have Medicare too? I have been through an absolute nightmare dealing with these dang psychiatrists who refuse to take it. They also wouldn't let me pay out of pocket because they're not allowed to make anyone on Medicare self pay. I thought these doctors went into business to help people. It's hard for me to respect doctors who refuse insurance of people on low incomes.
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 Medical care in this country needs to be accessible to all who need it.
@@jahbloomie Heck yes it should.
Ways to know you're not "neurodivergent:"
You use the word "neurodivergent."
I am strongly suspicious that I am autistic but I am so scared that I’m going to get assessed and not be diagnosed. Since I’ve come to this realization, it’s made so many things in my past make sense and if I don’t get a diagnosis I feel like I’m going to have to go back to just sucking at life and not knowing why. Does anyone have advice for this?
I have a few suggestions. If you need a Tl; dr - just ask.
• Seek out a specialist that specializes in autistic adults or autistic women.
• Come prepared. Bring printed copies of online assessments with either the results or your answers. Transfer your medical records. Consult with your parents about your childhood - your behaviors (especially if you had meltdowns/shutdowns), your friendships, your hobbies, your schooling, etc.
• Write out what you want to say to the doctor, and give it to them at your appointment. (This has been incredibly effective for me because I always struggle to verbalize ANYTHING beyond ‘yes’ or ‘no’.)
• Start a new journal about your experience. Only record things you’re willing to share with your psychiatrist, obviously. Write about your understanding of autism and how it manifests for you - especially the “invisible” struggles. Explore accommodations that you think would be helpful. Keep a log of things that trigger your nervous system. (I recommend doing this even if you don’t seek out a diagnosis because you will learn a lot about how to help yourself.)
• And don’t be afraid to get another opinion - especially if you didn’t vibe with them. You need a psychiatrist that you feel relatively safe talking to.
At the end of the day, the label does not define your experience. Your symptoms do.
In my life, seeing and understanding how well I fit, both in terms of the personal experiences I see here on UA-cam or elsewhere and taking tests and looking at research, doctors, and the DSM, has led (along with last year's ADHD diagnosis) me to put aside shame, self-blame, self-hatred, and deep confusion that I carried my whole life (I'm 59).
This is so amazingly valuable, I refuse to even consider going back, NO MATTER WHAT the outcome of any formal diagnosis. I will still fit the symptoms, and it will merely be something else that has similar effects on me. The learning about and forgiving of myself will still be monumental, and of course, it will still be valid and valuable.
If you're diagnosed or if you aren't, my opinion is that the inside work you do as a result is far and away the most important thing, much more important than a diagnosis from a medical professional. I want that evaluation for myself, but nothing will change me back to my undiagnosed self-hatred and constant longing to belong in the neurotypical world.
Good luck!
Very understandable, misdiagnoses unfortanetely happen a lot. Personally, it seems to me that seeking a diagnosis might be very helpful for you, but I wouldn't just go to your local doctor and expect them to diagnose you properly either. Instead what I would personally suggest is to do your research on diagnostic authorities. Because not every doctor is equally good at accurately recognizing ASD unfortunately (especially in women). Try looking for a diagnostic authority that's actually SPECIALIZED in diagnosing ASD and has a good reputation. Perhaps You can ask in a forum, or go to a local meeting and ask people where they got their diagnosis and If they would recommend that person or not. Or perhaps you can call diagnostic authorities and ask them about the details of HOW the diagnostic procedure works there. If they say (for example) they will be diagnosing you based on the impressions of 1 doctor in 1 conversation, perhaps don't actually don't go there. If they explain to you that they will do a lot of tests + conversations over multiple days and which involve your parent(s), then you're most likely talking to a diagnostic authority that really knows their stuff and cares about doing things properly. Also, I would advice to prepare your speech/case properly. I've seen a good video from 'I'm autistic, now what?' that might be helpfull and perhaps others too. If you do this (find a proper diagnostic authority etc.) and are still being told you don't have ASD but something else for example, that probably means they are right. Maybe that helps with letting things go (in worst case scenario). Also, the pattern that I notice is that most people that are convinced they have ASD because so much falls into place, actually end up having it. Maybe that thought can bring you some comfort. Good luck, and I hope you find answers!
Yes, trust yourself. I too feel the same way. I don't want to give anyone the opportunity to take it away from me. I already have an adhd diagnosis, so as far as the equalities act is concerned, I'm covered in work. It all depends on what you hope to gain from a formal diagnosis? Is it important? Will you actually get any support? There are plenty of therapists out there who specialise in autism and they don't need proof of your diagnosis
As someone diagnosed 16 years ago.... a diagnosis changes nothing. You don't need a label or a name. Being autistic is a solo, self-contained experience. No one cares, no one understands, not even other autistics. Basically "cool, I'm a little weird and different, how do I work around this, how do I set up my life so it works for me, what can I do for myself to better navigate the world." But also.... autistics don't suspect they're autistic. Not even the day I got diagnosed at Bradley hospital by one of the leading doctors in the country did I understand the differences. He held out his hand and congratulated me and I just looked at him like "oh, okay" and went right back to being absorbed in my sketchbook. I was in my own world, followed my own interests, even through tragic social interactions. It was my teachers and my neurologist that put me on the track of assessment, over the course of a few years, mind you, because being a teen is wild enough without needing to immediately jump to conclusions of disorders....
I understand the desire to feel like you finally have the answers as to why you are the way you are and to belong to a group and fall neatly into a little perceptual category, but it honestly changes nothing. The programs and opportunities are nonsense and are more geared toward those with extreme challenges in functionality.
Temple Grandin has done so much work and overcome those challenges and limitations, to show that those with autism can navigate life on their own, if a little awkwardly.
I even understand the disappointment you may feel in being told you are not autistic. You can have traits that overlap with autism and be an incredibly sensitive person (to sensory stimuli and emotions) ..... without meeting the criteria of the neurological disorder and that's entirely okay. Don't push for the diagnosis. Don't look for confirmation bias - you may unconsciously exacerbate or exhibit symptoms that you actually don't have. Confirmation bias is why doctors aren't even allowed to diagnose themselves. Leave it to the professionals.
Live your life. Follow your interests.
Being autistic is not a personality trait. Being diagnosed doesn't make you handle difficulties any differently, nor does it make life suck less, or change how people perceive or interact with you. Nor does it make people more sympathetic, especially now, when people are making it even harder to be accepted and taken seriously.
"Self-diagnosis" is such a misnomer. Its not diagnosis by definition, you cannot get disability aid, meds, special treatment, or benefits. people genuinely want to be cruel to people about their neurodivergent traits. No one should ever make fun of or discriminate against anyone due to neurodivergent traits whether someone is diagnosed or not. People who criticise self-diagnosis seem to want to bully people and tell them to change the way their brain works. Finding out you are autistic sometimes happens outside of clinics and doctors offices, and thats great, its very important. I wish we would faze out the term "self-diagnosis".
Yes yes! Finally someone articulated the thought I have been having for 3 years, thank you🫶🏻🫶🏻
Lmao just no
Yeah, cause no one ever fakes stuff online for attention!
@@JayZinnon09 i think this might be one of those things: whilst it does happen, the internet makes it seem much bigger than it actually is. I understand what you’re saying, but it’s actually not as big of a problem as the invisibility of autism in women especially. Hope this helps 😊
@@miainwonderland5052 tbh i am an autistic woman and i dont feel like there is a Lack of awarness. What i experiece mich more is that non autistic people have wrong views in the struggles of autism bevause pf the youtubers and tiktokers faking for whatever reason... places like fakedisordercringe are important and i am Glad they are Here to fix the misconpecptions that are spreaded in UA-cam etc.
Most of the autism support groups I have been in have had at least half the people being self-diagnosed. One particular Facebook group took a poll in two thirds of that group were all self-diagnosed. I've seen Reddit groups where they required a formal diagnosis before you were allowed to join and that ticked a lot of people off.
Is there anyway you could share the name of a group? If not I understand. Thanks!
@@kirab6821 That particular group was a Facebook group, but I haven't been a part of it for a few years. There was a specific subreddit that would only let diagnosed people become members. Again, it's been a few years.
That’s disgusting! How can an organisation that’s tailored towards support allow people that don’t even have a diagnosis? We’re not talking about being exclusive, but when you help people with something specific you can’t just invite those that think they’ve got it, it doesn’t work like that!
@@juniper_jumps6610 That's like going to AA for anger management lessons.
@@juniper_jumps6610 I have both as well. But it doesn't make sense to join a support group for something you don't have just because there are a few overlapping symptoms. In this case, ADHD is the most common comorbidity with ASD so you'll definitely have people with both. But it wouldn't make sense to join an ASD support group if you only have ADHD or OCD etc. Fakers tend to relate their symptoms to things they misinterpret or have been told things others have misunderstood. Without that verification from a knowledgeable professional, those overlapping "symptoms" could be anything.
I feel a bit guilty for asking an autistic woman at my work tons of questions about my own traits that make me suspect I could be autistic. She said she likes talking to me when I asked if I was overwhelming her with my questions. It was pretty liberating that she did say she always suspected I was autistic before I even mentioned it to her. Ive suspected I'm autistic for about 14 years now 😅. I've got an appointment in January (next month).
Good luck yo!
How did it go?? I hope all was well
@@ryanmackenzie6109 it was just a meeting with the doctor, she referred me to somebody else to get a diagnosis, I filled in a load of online forms and I'm just waiting for my next appointment. I was a bit silly while waiting and dissected my entire Psychology and ended up in a bad place last week 😅. Funnily enough, understanding and accepting my psychology has cured a psychosomatic illness for me.
@@micheals1992 I hope you get to meet your specialist soon enough! And hell yeah!! I'm glad some introspection brought good things, even if it came at the cost of a bit of a rough patch. I hope things keep looking up for you, friend!
Oh! And if you get to a point where you start dissecting things again, I highly recommend making a list of the symptoms you experience while you're at it to bring to your diagnostic appointment, if you haven't already! I'm sure you have, but just in case. So, so much luck to you! 🤗
@@micheals1992 How'd it go?
Why anyone would want Autism is beyond me! For me anyone who identify AS very likey is! To come out and identify is hard enough. Remember communicating our needs and reality is our disability.
While I agree coming out and admitting you’ve got characteristics that are similar to that of a diagnosis or even identical is brave and admirable, I also think people need to understand that they could also be mistaken and that self diagnosis is harmful to those that actually are diagnosed.
The water thing is so true. I used to have trouble with keeping myself hydrated (still do). And when I find ally get a taste of water it’s like I can’t stop. I’ll have 3 cups in one go.
Yeah, I’m not looking to be on the spectrum. I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental and bodily health issues over the course if my life. I’m 30 now. I’ve been to so many doctors and they could never tell me anything. In my late 20’s I really started taking note of my thoughts, emotions, behaviors, habits, my family’s medical history, i looked into all of those, I asked friends and family who deal with mental health and who have been diagnosed with different things. After years of looking into everything and comparing disorders alone, with comorbidities. I’ve been listening and reading to hours and hours and hours of people talk and writing about their personal experiences. I’ve taken many online assessments making sure they were from good places, read medical papers, all of that. Everything and everyone is saying it’s a mix of Autism and CPTSD. Like a lot of my life based on how people have talked to me and have treated me I thought “it feels like there’s something everyone else knows about me, but wont tell me.” Honestly, from the perspective of this, my life makes a lot of sense. And really idc whatever the label i have is. I just want to know what’s wrong with, or what makes my brain and body work the way they do me so I know how I can start managing my life better. Also, that water thing lmao but this is the stuff I think about. My fiancée always has to remind me to wat and drink, she started pointing out all of my incessant routines and interests. I asked her to take not of weird things I do and may not notice myself to help me figure things out. She think I am. She’s helping me look into how to get diagnosed and stuff cause, yeah, I hate doctors and wouldn’t go without the motivation. It’s stresses me out. Like I cant wven drive to unfamiliar areas, I have her drive around until I’m familiar with it, then I’ll drive there. It made me think of how I’d always tell my coworkers “you know the work me, not the real me. None of you will ever know the real me.” I always call coming home “getting out of work mode”. I have so many things that would be considered stimms including the leg bouncing and/or rocking depending on how im sittting. I have the sensory issues. I have a heavy mix of CPTSD and ASD and, man I really just want answers. I dont even want the labels. I just names for what I’m going through and have been my whole life. I’m 30 have no friends aside from my fiancée really. Like I have acquaintances, but no one actually close to me. Even my family is very distant. So much so i just moved states completely and it hasn’t effected their lives or mine. Idk. I keep reanalyzing my entire life and remembering different situations that were bad, or may have caused trauma at an early age that explains my behaviors and thought patterns as an adult. And even my fiancée she has ADHD pretty severely, it’s hard for her to even work a lot of the time. So I was looking into that so I knew how she worked. And found out things during that too. I was looking specifically into female related things, so I didn’t pay much attention to stuff like this. It’s been a while I’ve been listening though, and have finally been commenting to hear others thoughts and opinions. And I crazy? Does it sound like I should go get one? Or at least try to save money and find a reputable place and go on a list? What if it is the case, would a diagnosis for ptsd and asd limit me? Would i not be able to work? Could I still support myself and my wife? But then if I am, what if we have kids? Should I prepare form that? It runs in my moms side if the family, I’m questioning whether I am or not. Honestly, to be straight, I really dont have anyone in my life that I can go with this in a meaningful way, so im here asking from others for some genuine pointers. I’m so damn confused and have no idea what to make of anything. Even if people Ik who were diagnosed said probably and to go, I’m still thinking they’re messing with me. Idk. I need some answers guys, otherwise I wouldn’t be monologuing to strangers online and asking for help. I feel like it’s all right in front of me, but I’m not allowed to say hey this all describes me without an official piece of paper that I’d be lucky to get even in the next 5 years. We can barely afford a living let alone an expensive diagnosis. We make just enough to pay rent, bills, food for the house, and maybe a cheap date every other month or so. We want to do better but we clearly have struggles and are doing the best we can. We’re both pretty alone and reclusive people, but we have each other and make it work however we need to. And a lot of this put a lot of our relationship issues into a new perspective after 7 years. Between learning about her ADHD, and us learning a lot about me, we decided to make a lot of accommodations for each other and to not be so hard on ourselves or each other. We understand each other’s limits, discomforts, habits. It’s all clear now, and at least in that sense, we’ve made a lot of progress and are closer than ever. We actually get each other now on such a fundamental level. I mean I see everything in patterns. And everything is starting to fit into place. Like things are starting to line up in my mind and the picture is becoming more and more clear the more reflection I do and Im make myself more aware of what I do and think and really study and understand myself. Like it all fits, but I cant say it without going to see someone. And the stress of being broke and knowing I WONT know for idk how long. My mid 30’s? My 40’s? At that point, would it even matter? Does it even matter now at this point in my life?
While I do think self diagnosis is a start, I think getting a professional evaluation for ASD is at least a confirmation of sorts. I dunno, just my thoughts. Interesting video btw.
A person with a clinical diagnosis who is 'in denial' of their autistic ways and refuses to learn about the disorder is going to be far worse off than a self-diagnosed individual. And although one certainly does not preclude the other, outdated methodologies like the ADOS and the fact that our understanding of the disorder has been exponentially rising, causing certain professionals to be stuck in a time warp, make it *very possible* for "actuallyautistic" individuals to be overlooked or outright misdiagnosed.
If someone is stuck in an endless cycle of flourish > meltdown > burnout > recovery, and does it to the point that they end up institutionalized, a psychiatrist might be tempted to just throw their hands up in the air and go, "Well you know how you've got a personality? Turns out it's disordered," and simply stop there, disregarding the fact that the individual is showing this behavior (which may actually constitute a legitimate personality disorder) precisely because they lived their lives undiagnosed, surrounded by mental health professionals for whom ASD never even crossed their mind.
If someone thinks they are autistic, gets evaluated, and is told "Nah I think it's actually x, y, and z" by a professional, my first instinct is always "Get a second opinion."
I totally agree with you! You said all that better than I would have. I had some horrendously inaccurate diagnoses pinned on me before I self diagnosed through research (LOTS) and then went to a specialist and got my real diagnosis. ASD. I always suggest to people who are sure they're autistic, to go straight to a specialist. Even some of those aren't great, but it reduces the chance of wasting time and money to get heartbroken.
Getting a diagnosis can also be complicated (especially if you're female) and expensive. I've tried twice now. And was refused a diagnosis flat out (stating she didn't want to make my life harder) and the ghosted when I confronted the Neuropsych about it.
As much as I want some words on a paper and a signature. There's no way I can get one. At the very least she diagnosed my 3 LDs and my ADHD. just not the Tism..
@natashasullivan4559 You likely got an incompetent clinician. I have helped at least four separate adult women appeal misdiagnoses, going so far as to sit on the phone with the clinician and explain to them why their differential dx is missing the mark.
Every single one of them walked away with the proper diagnosis. Unless you are working with a clinician explicitly experienced with autistic people--preferrably adults--your odds of getting misdiagnosed is fairly high
@@cda6590 I was working specifically with a Neuropsychologist who had a history of working with Women. She just wouldn't diagnose me. Like, I was at my autism support group. And one of the girls there recommended her to me.
This "Doctor" went so far as to ghost me because I wouldn't accept her non answer. (literally only emailed her once after the visit)
I was self diagnosed for many years until I finally was able to get the formal giagnosis in July. I agree with self diagnosis as a first step, but I'm not sure how I feel about self diagnosed people trying to be autistic influencers.
FDC has lots of good points when it comes to DID where people are actually spreading misinformation etc.. but the other stuff i'm just like why?? people are just sharing their experiences with said disorder that is actually back up by research yet they try to tell you it's not.
fr, some of the stuff on this subreddit feels like people just bullying neurodivergent people again in the name of "calling out fakes"
I self identified for two years and no one(family) believed me. In march 19th i got diagnosed with autism, adhd, intellectual disability, launguage disorder, anxiety, bulluima, substance abuse(alchoul)!!!!!!
Did they believe you after you got formally diagnosed? I had some family members that didn't really believe me until I got the piece of paper.
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 my sister still didn't buy it that much but they still don't see it as a big deal because they just don't understand it. they don't know anything about . they only think of it as the profound kind
I think my main concern with over diagnosis, ia that we don't fully understand the impact of personal screens 12 hours a day from age 1 and a half on development. That is possibly changing what normal development looks like.
Could a neurotypical child maybe have impaired social skills maybe attention span issues from excessive screen time, and because their development looks more like autistic development than pre-screen-addiction-the-norm neurotypical development, they then get diagnosed with autism and ADHD?
We need to understand the impact of screens on development in neurotypicals, so we can identify maybe when the issue is too much screens affecting social skills development, rather than a neurodevelopmental disorder.
I've come to the conclusion I am likely autistic..but I don't want to state it until confirmed. its especially noticiable in extreme stress - had a period where i wasn't able to function properly without my partner taking over alot of my executive function, confirming if my emotional response was aligned to threat imposed. I'm not sure where this lands me.. but I wouldn't ant to take away from people that need help right now. (I've done the online tests, I'm consistently scoring high)
I felt like this, but I've been through a screening for diagnosis now & I feel like my self-diagnosis is as valid as I'm gonna get while I'm waiting to be diagnosed. I also score very high on online autism tests. I feel like an official diagnosis will just be confirmation now I've been waiting so long
Your self diagnosis is part of this problem.
@@morbidlyobeserobocop3038How do you think their self diagnosis is part of the problem?
@@shannonm8512
If you haven't received a diagnosis of any kind from a professional and immediately jump to a conclusion based off a Google search or watching videos, it's a problem.
You're not taking anything from anyone. I promise you. The very little resources available to Autistic people are guarded behind a diagnosis anyways. Join the communities. Listen to others. Learn from them. There is no theft of knowledge. There is no theft in finding tools to help your situation. You making accommodations and space for yourself takes nothing from anyone else.
After finding out about Autism in November 2023, it's just so hard to just stop 'researching' about it. (Aka. Going on subreddits about autism, tons of quors questions, and seeing what other people are experiencing + watching tons of youtube videos from autistic creators.) I definitely know I am NT but still, it's hard to drive myself away from the belief that, "is there a chance?"
The easiest way ive found to make an educated guess about a faker (they EXIST) is if they never address the potential profit motive and claim there are no possible benifits.
On the internet. . . Using social media, it should be clear faking a disorder could make you a living.
Thank you, I love this. I'm AFAB and present with a lot of "atypical" traits, so even though after months of deep dives I'm 95% sure I'm autistic, the imposter syndrome hits hard. I used to be the sort of person who championed official diagnosis but I'm definitely getting a taste of my own medicine now. My psychiatrist won't even help me with a referral (not out of stigma, I'm in Canada and they tend to be pretty chill here) because it's a long, grueling process. So fucking irritating, especially because I have absolutely learned that people who fake disorders are like one in 10 million.
"Peer-diagnosis" was always a thing. It used to sound like, "youre weird", "youre different", "youre stupid", ..... and now its "you might be autistic" which is obviously a lot better. It literally is NOT a diagnosis. And it is incredibly helpful for someone to notice traits you arent aware of and tell you in a way that isnt judgemental or bullying, and is constructive.
I've always known I was different. I finally read Elaine Aron's book in 2014 and called myself HSP. Then 2 or 3 years ago I began to believe I am autistic because I fit in better with autistics in various groups online than I did/ do with HSP's who seemed too loud and too "normal" to me. I have had 2 pre-assessments and am on a 4 year waiting list for the assessment.
4 years! Geez! That’s a long time!
I'm self-diagnosed because the waiting list for diagnosis is minimum 2 years! I am on the waiting list as well, though
Before I had a formal assessment I said "I think I have autism." It wasn't until I was formally diagnosed did I say " I have autism." I just thought it was being respectful.
I am 69, and it never occurred to me that I might be autistic until a year or so ago. Maybe not even that long ago. Once I realized that autistic people don't have to be like Rainman or like the character that Leonardo Decaprio played in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape", I realized that it could explain a massive number of things about my life from my earliest childhood memories, on. I want to get an official diagnosis when I can, but for now, I am just trying to learn. I really don't think that most people were aware of the spectrum when I was young, which is probably why I was never officially diagnosed back then. Most people DID think that all autistic people were like Rain Man or Leo Decaprio's character in the aforementioned movie. I have taken a few quizzes online, which should help me in my quest for an official diagnosis. I scored a 34 on the Autism Spectrum Quotient. I scored a 123 on the RAADS-R. And, I scored 103 out of 200 on the Aspie Quiz, which said I have a 55% chance of being atypical (autistic/neurodiverse). However, I don't feel comfortable with the self-diagnosis thing, so if I can get an official diagnosis, I definitely will. In my area, it is a bit tricky...at least if only a psychiatrist can do it. You kind of indicated, though, that it doesn't HAVE to be an actual psychiatrist.
great video! I think you covered a lot of things there.
The concept of defining who to include into a group and who not is not specific to the autism community. You could say every group does this and it is also a process that never really ends for most groups.
The only thing different in autism is probably that on average there might be more people prone to rigid thinking than in other groups. But even then. An extremist political group is probably also a lot more rigid in who to include than a middle of the road group would be.
There's a lot of videos out there that define 5 traits or 7 or 60 and if you have one or any of them you may or may not be autistic. There was a study in which they tried to train an "AI" to diagnose autism and the Algorithm chose 5 factors which worked best (for the Algorithm). Like you said, it is actually hard to make a clear cut line. And even for the AI a lot of the diagnostic tools were comperative - if not all of them. You are going to be measured against a "neurotypical" group and then it's pretty much a how weird are you and is it weird enough to give you the label. Atypical behavior is not exactly one thing. Just like typical behavior isn't just one way of doing things. A diagnosis is mainly there to help you and to help other medical institutions sort of recognize what is what. It is not there to include you into a social group of likeminded people.
If you identify as non binary there is no diagnosis for this. No group will ask you to show them permission to join them. You join them because you share their struggles and way of thinking. There's no 100% way to be nonbinary. And even if you share the struggles and the thinking and you define yourself as Cis, then that is legitimate.
The autism community should not at all rely on diagnosis as a tool on who is legit and who is not. It's not helping anyone. The focus is on sharing experiences, exchanging advice on how to deal and on sharing interests. I don't see any reason why official diagnosis is needed for any of those.
And there is almost zero chance an attention seeking group of neurotypicals takes over the autistic community and just makes it their show. Because they got nothing else to do. Trust me neurotypicals have a lot of other things to do.
I know that it is easy to fall back to diagnosis and hard facts. If I go to the stereotypical autistic man who likes Dinosaurs and Trains. Those are clearly labeled. Everything has a name and falls into a category. It is super clear cut. Autism is not that clear cut. If you google autism you get a set of "may" and "often" statements but no "definitely" or "always".
The thing about diagnosis is that it can be majorly difficult. And majorly expensive. And even more expensive when you try it and it goes wrong.
I know I'm autistic. I've known since it hit me like a hammer when I was 24. I was with my dad and we were chatting. And the topic of his autim came up (he was diagnosed as a kid. And autistic is likely genetic) he started mentioning things. And I was huh.. wow.. I can relate to those. Soooo I then spent the next 3-4 months researching and basically building a case. Like I was trying to make a legal case.
Then, I decided to try seeing a Neuropsych. She said she could diagnose a laundry list of things, including ADHD. Obviously I'd found the comorbitity of ADHD and autism in my research. And I was fairly certain I had it as well.
I went, had the assessment. My dad came and did his interview. My girlfriend at the time did as well.
In the end. She diagnosed me with 2 LDs, Dyslexia and Dyscalculia (my inability to function at school suddenly made more sense) she said I likely had ADHD but didn't feel comfortable diagnosing it. And said she wasn't comfortable diagnosing the ASD either.
Well, there was a bunch of money out the window. During the next year I found another Neuropsych. I was told she was good at diagnosing Females. I was like, sweet that's what I need. Gonna try this again. This time I couldn't get my dad there for an interview. But everything else went smoothly.
She was like uhhhh yes you absolutely have ADHD. Not sure why the other Dr wouldn't diagnose you. And Along with the Two LDs. You have NVLD (Non verbal Learn Disability. And again, my struggles graduation HS made way more sense)
HOWEVER I *wont* diagnose you with Autism. Notice she didn't say you're not autistic. But that she wouldn't diagnose me.
I nodded and left. I felt awful. It was good the other items had been confirmed. But the one I was really looking for was again dismissed.
So I went home and thought about things for a while. My confidence had taken a hit. I was having a lot of imposter feelings.
So I emailed her. Wrote a long book basically. And included all of my findings but in E-format. (I'd taken a binder with me with all of my self tests and all of my research printed out.)
I was asking her for an answer. Why wouldn't you diagnose me.
She gave be some bullshit non-answer. Basically it was likely I'm autistic. But I won't officially diagnose you. Because it could make you struggle (it's literally my choice to get the diagnosis. That's why I went..) And then proceeded ghost me. And this was a Doctor that I'd paid for services. I had, imo, every right to ask her about her reasoning. But, here we are. No ASD diagnosis (even though both NVLD and ADHD, and LDs are all very coorbid to Autism. And family members are autistic....) I've spent money to see two people who refused to help me. And there's no way I could pay for a third. I'm not legitimately diagnosed. The amout if biases in some parts of medicine. Especially if you're a woman. And don't present as the typical thing (usually was originally only diagnosed in men) it cwn br incredibly difficult to grt your foot in the door.
Even though I really am autistic. But because it's a "self diagnosis". People like that sub redit would never take me seriously. All because a doctor refused to diagnose me. After telling me I probably am. But that she wouldn't put it on the diagnosis paper.
🤷🏽♀️ Judging people on words on a piece of paper just seems super lame. Especially when those words cost thousands of dollars in places like the US.
Also, being undiagnosed as a child with all of LD and ND disabilities, lead to me being unable to geafuate high school... We need to do better.
Thank you for sharing I have run into similar dismissal from doctors on physical health issues as well! I will keep it in mind when I speak to anyone about it.
@@lisareid7043 lots of people, especially disabled people and women tend to be dismissed often in the medical field. It's something that desperately needs to change. And it's something to keep in mind about diagnostics.
It's something I try to keep in mind too. It can be easy to get sucked into the "over diagnosed snowflakes" mindset
So do you actually have a diagnosis of ASD?
@@solitudeguard5688 I do. Not that it really matters
Written on a paper with a doctor's signature on it.
Great video and very important topic! :D
I was diagnosed at 3 years old in 1993 (back when the DSM 4 still considered Aspergers syndrome a separate classification of Autism from what most people think of Autism as. But since the DSM 5 changed all that by putting all the Autism Spectrum Disorders under one umbrella back in 2011, that's changed a bit. Doesn't mean I'm not autistic anymore, I've always been this way. Always going to be this way. It's just the name and classification has changed) and even back then, there was very little knowledge about Autism leading to a lot of fear and misunderstanding. And although these days, we have technology, the information still gets skewed because people are not always open to that exposure to gain the knowledge of what they don't understand to allow them to see the world better.
I’m self diagnosed, and even after 4 years of nearly daily information gathering, and fitting in better than I ever have anywhere within an ND group therapy community, I am still insecure about my self diagnosis. But I don’t have insurance, and I can barely afford the nonnegotiable medical costs I have. Considering a diagnosis won’t get me anything aside from clarity about myself, it is currently ridiculous to prioritize getting formally diagnosed as autistic.
If you were to discover you don’t have a diagnosis, but someone else with a genuine diagnosis missed out on support because of others self diagnosing, would that affect you negatively or positively?
@@solitudeguard5688 I’m not sure how that could effect anyone positively, unless they just like to see the world burn…
But, sure. I’ll entertain your hypothetical if you’ll entertain mine.
I assume that you mean because I’m taking up a resource by being in that therapy group. First off, the group is very accepting of self diagnosis, so I have every right to be there. And whether or not I’m genuinely autistic, I have found more personal development, self understanding, and improvement in my basic hygiene/life skills by being in this group than I have in any other therapy or mental healthcare space. I’m sorting out things I’ve never been able to address after trying to for years. So if I am autistic, sweet! I really needed that support, and I’m glad I advocated for myself and got what I needed after failing to find adequate support for myself for a decade. And if some day I find I’m not autistic, I am so GLAD I was mislead into this corner of online therapy services, because they’re still the only ones that have been working for me, and autistic or not (I don’t know what I would be considered if I’m an NT, just massively depressed and lazy and awkward and I guess a highly sensitive person) I really needed THIS brand of support. And why does someone with autism deserve help, but an HSP with severe depression to the point of being disabled does not deserve help? Also. When the group therapies fill up, more are created, so I’m really not the reason a “real” autistic person can’t get support anyway.
Now here is my hypothetical:
If I really genuinely AM autistic, but it takes me another 5-10 years to reach a financially stable enough place to afford diagnostics, would you be affected positively or negatively by the possible impact your comment could have had on an accurately self diagnosed autistic person? As I see it, there are a couple potential outcomes: 1) I feel insecure about my self diagnosis for a few hours, and then rally and stand strong in my belief system, and suppose this is an opportunity for a (hopefully healthy) debate. 2) Your comment brings up moderate feelings of imposter syndrome, and they bother me for a while (days to weeks), increasing my anxiety and taking precedence over other therapy goals until I revalidate my self diagnosis, probably after talking it through in group, with a support person, revisiting the diagnostic criteria, retaking the CAT-Q and other online diagnostic tests, and rewatching many, many UA-cam videos. 3) I feel so mortified and ridiculous by the imposter syndrome, that I pull out of my online support group and stop identifying myself as autistic. I spend the next 5-10 years hating myself for being a failure of an NT who can’t handle life or do anything right, despite supposedly having everything I should need to succeed, and continue to mask to my significant detriment, until I finally officially get diagnosed 5-10 years from now when I can finally afford it.
Are you satisfied with the possible impacts your comment could have had?
these so called self-DX people are bull crap, it hurts those who are legitimately disabled , also all these so called self DX'd people al like to flaunt their ''tics, and quarks'' and say oh look at me, look how disabled i am'' its sickening. and again, its a slap in the face to real people who do in fact, yes, suffer, from these disabilities.
also: these gen z and young y2k fools on tiktok are not the only ones who fake being autistic or otherwise disabled: their was older millennials, genXers and even boomers who used to go on youtube and d this shit, Amanda baggs was one of many of the older crowd ( genX) , another one is Thomas wood (boomer) who has a youtube channel where he talks about diapers and nerf guns that lives in new Hampshire . they both faked being autistic, along with various physical disabilities and medical issues too. this disability faking online for attention was happening on youtube long before tiktok, Amanda baggs used to fake being very severe and nonverbal.
lastly another reason we all know its 100% fake is these people on tiktok, youtube etc. always post their put-on-for-the-camera stimming, playing with baby toys and sensory toys, also, these folks who fake being autistic and think its cute and quirky, same with the tourettes and epilepsy fakers: they all seem to , while during a meltdown, or heavy tic on-set, and seizures, they all seem to miraculously be able to process enough to grab a camera or a smart phone, turn it on, put it into position, hit record, AND stay in frame during their so called '' uncontrollable'' seizures, autistic meltdowns, and intense tic episodes, i worked in the disability services world for over 20 years and i have never seen or even heard of any person who was legit disabled in those ways and had those issues would even be remotely capable of being able to process enough to do all that, or be able to ''control'' their seizures, severe, tics meltdowns enough to take the time to grab a camera, hit record, and again, stay in frame for their ''episode''
please try not to speak over autistic people
If it was that big a deal to me, I could go and get my MPsy in less time than it takes to get diagnosed by a doctor.
.. So i could self diagnose.... With a piece of paper that says I've done clinical work and I've passed tests and given presentations demonstrating my mastery.
Or, I'm autistic, and I'm very likely to be an autodidact and psychology has been a major special interest of mine for 20 years, my Bachelor's degree had a focus on criminal psychology. My MBA had a focus on change management.
I'm as sure as I can be, as a nonprofessinal, without extensive experience in other things (like trauma, for instance) that have symptoms that overlap, that I'm autistic.
In the end, though, it matters more what I'm learning about myself and how I'm reevaluating my entire 59 years of living with no help or appropriate support. With last year's ADHD diagnosis combined with what I'm learning about ASD absolutely everything has changed, and my inner world is so much safer and less full of shame than I ever could have hoped for before this.
I'll still pursue an evaluation, but whatever the outcome, I won't leave all that wonderful self growth behind for anything.
The way I got my AuDHD diagnosis was actually by pure chance. Like many of you who already have/looking for an Autism and/or ADHD diagnosis I always just thought of myself as that wierd kid all of my peers would just dislike and "had to take care of". I thought it was just what my "normal" was, and nothing I did would change that. Even in University, I went sicko-mode, completely losing my sense of self, trying to fit in while masking. But still, not matter how hard I tried to fit into the puzzle, I still heard murmurs of people thinking that "there's just something off about her" and would still not really fit into any friend groups. I would lilly-pad a lot, while still dying from all the impressions and sensations I had to process when I got back home. Eventually when all of the school work, part-time work and draining socialization made me fail my internship I lost it. I ended up at an emergency psychiatric unit and after a couple of months of evaluating me, it was concluded that I had Autism 1 and ADHD. When knowing this the reality hit me like a truck. It all made sense now. It took a long time, I paused my studies and moved back home to my parents. The hardest part was and still is trying to unmask the person I made myself to be to function in society to finally be able to relax and just be me.
Either way, I got lucky, so I hope everyone that has read my story and thinks they may have Autism and/or ADHD becomes inspired to get a diagnosis of their own. I recieved so much support and knowledge about myself and I hope you also get to have that experience!
Good luck :)
If it's a spectrum, then we should ALL fall somewhere on this spectrum. That's why everyone can see something that is relatable. Doesn't mean you have autism. I think it should go back to specific criteria, function level and Aspergers.
I agree with you. I try not to tell people as I’m very calm and keep my opinions to myself for the most part, but when people say we’re all autistic or on the spectrum a little, it’s quite upsetting because it reflects on a lack of understanding of the diagnosis and makes it easy to generalise, thus making an “invisible disorder” even more complex because there are still others that think there’s nothing wrong. Maybe it will always be that way, I honestly don’t know.
Faking this disorder is the equivalent to Stolen Valor
I’m starting to think self diagnosis within consideration too.
I don't even see how self-diagnosis could take resources away from diagnosed individuals. Like, since it's not written on a paper, you couldn't possibly be able to officially access them, and as Thomas stated, there aren't that many resources for people older than 25. So I don't see how bad self-diagnosis might be rather than people just wanting to bully and nitpicking on ND people's traits just because they look "weird" or "quirky". Self-diagnosis has been a huge tool for understanding myself and that's how I view it from my perspective and I don't really understand what there is bad about it and why people would want to make less of me and my experience for identifying myself as autistic.
I don't tell anybody in real life that I'm self diagnosed because nobody would ever take me seriously.
I can't get a diagnosis because it would unfairly end my career, but I've done enough research to not only diagnose myself, but also write a whole essay on my criticisms of the diagnostic process for autistic adults. Because, you know, autistic special interests.
@@TubeWusel I disagree, and I'd elaborate if I thought this would go anywhere, but I'm not very into internet arguments nowadays.
Why on earth would it end your career? Unless you’re in the military?
@@solitudeguard5688 The FAA has their own ideas of what makes sense in regard to this.
I like your video. Sadly ppl see the symptoms and think they have that one disorder. In my case an ADHD/ADS Test would come out as positive, but it is because I am epileptic. Not because I have ADS.
As an autistic person with a diagnosis I hate the concept of ''fake disorder cringe'' especially that horrible Subreddit. A lot and I mean a lot of those people who get posted are very open about being diagnosed and a lot of cases far from the stereotype or in a lot of other cases like the stereotype.
If these ppl think mental disorders are a choice or something to fake I am now choosing to not have adhd thanks for your time (joke)
I wonder if people are really faking it though. I mean I'm pretty sure some people do because there are scumbags, but I really hope these are just autistic people posting.
Subscribed! Great video! Also just had to say that you have a super soothing/relaxing voice! :)
People who have the means to obtain a professional evaluation should seek it out or they should not expect anyone to take their self-diagnosis seriously. People who do not have the means should not self diagnose, they should entertain a possibility until such time they can get a professional evaluation.
Self diagnosis is never valid IMO.
My wife works in autism services and my nephew has diagnosed ASD. We all find self diagnosis offensive.
It’s strange to here DID is more accurately diagnosed than depression. I supposed if you think someone has DID, you’re probably given some obvious traits that give it away. But at the same time, people with DID spend an average of 7 years misdiagnosed with something else, and thus receiving the wrong treatment, before they are correctly diagnosed with DID.
I'm late-dx ADHD and self-dx autistic. Where I am in the US there aren't many resources if you weren't diagnosed as a kid (my fault for being born a girl I guess 🙃). Considering the cost and potential danger of a formal dx (medical discrimination, being put on a registry, etc), I'm in no rush to get one. I see no benefit to it. Even if I go back to school, my ADHD dx should cover me if I need accomodations.
Anyway, every shrink I saw as a burnt out teenager ignored me when I told them about my emotionally abusive father and just pumped me full of drugs and told me to suck it up, buttercup. What do they know?
I am in similar situation. You have hit the nail on the head here.
😮I feel that many of these late-diagnosed pseudo-autistics, who in my opinion mostly have ADHD and high sensitivity, are setting a new standard for autism and presenting it as the norm. This contradicts the clinical diagnoses and criteria that should typically be met.
On TikTok, so-called pseudo-AuDHS autistics often appear hyper-empathic and have several "special interests" that seem more like hobbies. For example, someone might claim that art and music are their special interests, but they simply play guitar and paint rather than delving deeply into the history of music or guitar, which would be more characteristic of a true special interest.
These individuals often use a lot of facial expressions and have normal intonation. It's problematic that they act as if they speak for all autistics. While it's true that every autistic person is different, I wonder how these individuals received their diagnoses. The content in their videos shows few of the typical autistic traits, and they often claim to do a lot of "masking."
If someone exhibits such high empathy, it raises the question of why they need to mask, since high empathy would imply they can recognize and respond to others' emotions and expressions. This contradicts a fundamental aspect of autism, which includes difficulties in social interaction and communication.
Furthermore, they argue that not every autistic person has a savant ability, but this misses the point. Many genuine autistics have special talents or strengths in specific areas while having notable deficits in others. These talents might not be savant abilities but are often characterized by high pattern recognition and intense focus on their special interests. However, those reporting their autism on TikTok rarely mention such talents or strengths.
I believe many of these individuals might not truly be autistic. Instead, a brain scan by a neurologist might provide more clarity than relying on subjective and superficial diagnoses. There are serious concerns that the criteria for an autism diagnosis are becoming diluted, leading to misunderstandings and false perceptions about the autistic spectrum.
Late-diagnosed, key word there. Never got the chance to truly accept who they were meant to be as kids, went through life with subtracting from their identity to seem more "normal." Obviously, at 38, they'd have spent 38 years on this planet, maybe 33 they could remember. They'd know a smidgen more about how they were "supposed" to act as someone who was "supposed" to be Neurotypical, and went through life the same way a Neurotypical would without being Neurotypical. Masking in Autism builds over time; the later you find it, the harder it is to slip the mask off. There's the normal facial expressions they know they're "supposed" to make, and since it's been so long without the mask off, they still make them. They know that them speaking as them sounds weird, so they speak like a Neurotypical as best they can, consciously or not. Remember, these people are often commented on for their voices at a young age over and over. Told they sound strange. And despite autism not being diagnosed at the time, it does NOT make those autistic traits disappear. No, in fact, they're likely to believe the traits are THEIR fault. That's what they've been told, after all. They've went through life suffering in a way nobody should have to. And the thing about that is that you only see what people put online of themselves. For all you know, that person with a Special Interest in guitar could be learning a heck of a lot about guitars in their free time. They wouldn't post their research, obviously though- because that's not what the channel is about. And again, autistic traits are often viewed as "bad" by unaware neurotypicals.. which means they might have been told to just shut up the last time they opened up about their special interest. Because to most people, it just sounds like blabbing. And oh, the high empathy thing. That is an autistic trait. You can feel bad for the table after you bump into it, you can be empathetic towards people. But remember, autistic people want very different treatment than neurotypical people. So when they treat neurotypical people the way they'd want to be treated...it typically goes very wrong. I personally learned how people work by absolutely scouring the psychology available on the internet for 6 years straight. That was the only way I could learn how neurotypicals work. For all you know, these people could be doing the same. And empathy isn't always about reading expressions- autistic people pick up on patterns. They are very, very likely to notice something is out of the ordinary with you- and again, late-diagnosis. They've been through an extreme amount of roughness before receiving that diagnosis, they've been forced to adapt even though it was probably so painful that they shouldn't have HAD to been forced to adapt. It was just the way things turned out for them for one reason or the other. And about the talents thing you said...again, late diagnosis. Low self esteem, have probably been told they're stupid for not understanding certain things their entire life. What makes you think that they would open up to a bunch of internet strangers about something like that? And sure, they might not actually have autism, just like the doctor might misdiagnose you over and over, or not diagnose you at all. But the imposter syndrome has probably already made them look into virtually everything else, so I personally think that they're all good. Not meant to cause argument, I just notice these sorts of points a lot.
really fantastic topic
Thank you
Several years ago i self-diagnosed and joined a disussion board. Something by somebody who became mute for two weeks because his senses were overwhelmed was so far from my own experience that i began to doubt myself and quit the discussion board.
But since then details have piled up. I hate sports. I dont participate. I don't watch (i can't figure out what's going on anyway) and i can't understand why anybody puts so much effort into things that are so unimportant. My Mom forced me to sign up for 5th grade basketball. In the on game i played in i got the ball and was too confused to know what to do next.
I avoid socializing in a group. That's where bullying started. I dealt with one on one bullying by slugging the bully as hard as i could. Even when i inevitably lost he repected me enough to stop after that.
I regularly bump into furniture and doorways. Coffee tables are my enemies.
I read advice about job hunting. It said to make eye contact. I already knew that just staring was a bad idea so i studied others to see what they did i also learned that i can gat away with looking a the others mouth most of the time. Later a psychotherapist told me i couldnt be autistic because i made eye contact.
I used to go to parties because a pretty girl might be there. Nothing happened if there was. A party was good if several of us ended up in the kitchen discussing something that sounds profound if you're at least half drunk. The "discussion" was mostly me talking.when it didnt go well i was the guy sitting in the corner. The loneliedt thing in the world for me is being in a group of people I think i should know better than i do.
Usually i had only one or two friends at a time. For several years my best friend was two years younger than me.
I used to think i didn't have any sensory issues, but persistent odors bother me a lot. I often can smell things others can't.
I can concentrate on something so much the world might as well not exist. I was studying computer programming I lived in a house where the furnace used a pilot light. It had been knocked out of position somehow so a lot of gas accumulated before it ignited. My housemates refered to the sounds as explosions. I never heard them until somebody pointed them out. It was very loud. The appropriate onomotopiea was not "whumpf" but "boom".
I used to walk with a very long stride. When somebody mocked me i tried hard to walk like others.
I usually spoke in a slow monotone. In college somebody said i formed my sentences like they were a book. I know many monosyllabic words but if one doesnt convey the exact meaning i want, what could i do?
I do not rigidly hold to routines, but the opposite. I'm not a stickler for sameness in my environment. If my home doesn't stink and i can find things i call it clean.
The longest i ever held a job was five years. One year i held eleven different jobs.
In the last regular job i had I took over a project that would have failed otherwise. Its success more than doubled the size of the company. Then we got a new boss and that didn't matter any more. I was fired within three months. My alleged manager had been ordered to not give me a raise. He marked me down for not doing things i had made clear that i would not and could not do. A coworker had asked me for help on a program she was writing. I noted that she had her files designed all wrong (not normalized if you know what that means) But she never asked me about that. She told the manager i made her feel stupid. I swear i was trying not to let on. I inadvertantly offended some people. A salesman gave me holy hell because i told a client the truth about a mistake we had made. I was told to write a response to my bad review. I fumed about it until I was a meltdown and went home not sure i ever wanted to go back. But i did When i got there i no longer had a job.
It had been my dream job. When i started i was given a list of problems and was told to work on what i thought was most important. What could be better than not having to answer to a boss? Getting fired was a big blow. Being good at programming wasnt enough to hold my job. Later i was thinking about how i might convince a potential employer to hire me. I realized i wouldnt hire me either. Fitting in mattered and i couldnt do it. I gave up looking for work and after that only did construction work that could be done solo.
Of course I'm autistic. Yet the DSM doesn't agree.
I have felt that most people mocking TikToks are pointing out those they believe are fakes. I mostly see DID, Tourette's or some other 'shocking' disorder that will get them attention. I have definitely seen a few that looked like they might be narcissists more than their claims lol. Not sure I would see the benefit in faking autism, but I guess people do all manner of strange things.
So its common knowledge and they post it online to make money and get attention 🤔
As an autistic person, why do they have all the same makeup. We don’t even usually do makeup like that 💀
I liked cringe compilations because it’s kind of funny seeing the weird stuff people come up with like DID and all the obvious fakers. However it’s not funny when NTs get so mad about every autism video or any time someone talks about their disorder. A lot of times those NTs are just assuming it’s all about diagnosis and not about people relating to each other.
A ton of cringe compilations are of either people with diagnosis's or who have disorders that are likely pose in such manner as to gain satisfaction or out of feeling inclined to by the symptoms. For example, A person that poses histrionic personality disorder is likely going to seek gratification from various forms of self-humiliation, another underlooked disorder is factitious disorder which used to be known as Munchausen by proxy. I am against fake claiming personally, and DID is an under-researched topic, It does exist.
You SELF IDENTIFY as gay, you don't self diagnose being gay... Using the word self diagnose that means your doing something wrong in the medical world, even as a educated doctor and you should get another doctors opinion, just doesn't seem all that good an idea. The amateur world just doesn't seem to understand how negative "self diagnose" is in the professional world. You can't even self defend as a lawyer without it being scientifically proven to be a bad...
Self-identify seems to be a better fit, I do believe in the need for a system within the psychiatric community or else it makes legal and policies very difficult to implement effectively.
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I will definitely consider the changing of terms in the future as I hear what you are saying
it is actually completely possible to diagnose autism with a brain scan now, but the companies who make the machines don't want them used for that for some reason? I think insurance or just general profit motive. I may very well be misremembering though~
Remember when "autistic" just meant "dork?"
no?
Remember when people weren’t ignorant? Oh wait…
You can't fake something that was made up.
Are you one of those people that thinks vaccinations caused it and that it doesn’t exist?
No one should EVER want autism and the focus should be in preventing, not accommodating for long term periods.
If the focus is on preventing, then the autistic people who do exist will suffer greatly. We can be happy and fulfilled individuals, especially with accomodations.
The only way to prevent autism is eugenics. I think a cure should ne available to those who want it (I want to get rid of about half of my autism and understand those who want to get rid of all of it) but to make that the only focus is terrifying!
"not accommodating for long term periods" i'm confused. so you're saying the focus should NOT be helping autistic people be accommodated for?
people who seek a diagnosis don't want the disorder, they want an answer to their symptoms. also autism "prevention" is either eugenics or child abuse. As someone who went through some now-illegal autism therapies, these "preventative methods" just make you suppress those undesirable traits. The traits are still there. Accommodating just means helping people to live a happy and fulfilled life despite whatever difficulties they may have, how is that a bad thing?
Also please stop saying “we”, you are not autistic
Liking your own comment is cringe.
@i.cs.z I once asked someone why they like their own comments. They said "if I don't like me, why should anyone else?" And now that phrase lives in my head and I started liking my own comments🤣