Do People Treat Me Differently After Losing Weight?
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- Опубліковано 17 гру 2017
- How have my relationships changed after losing 145lbs? In this week's episode of 'Walk With Me' we're talking about how my friends, family, and wife handled my extreme weight loss. Let's get into it!
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LOL ALL YOUR FRIENDS TURN INTO DOCTORS AND NUTRITIONIST OVER NIGHT WHEN YOU TELL THEM YOUR LOSING WEIGHT
Hahaha, ain't that the truth. Everyone has their one thing they did (or they want to hear your 'one thing') that solved all of their weight loss problems. :)
This is so true..
Oh Lord yes. Lol even more if you’re going on say the keto diet or any diet eating more fats
Right. And 95% of them are obese.
True. They just only know the garbage being fed to them by those corporate sponsors called doctors. A high majority don't know much, not recent medical information, they're just regurgitating the same false nutrition, calorie, and food myths. People think you need carbs when fat does the same exact thing for your body but better especially since fat is necessary for proper hormonal balance. I always hear people say I want to lose weight but not be skinny. Not for health but because they don't want to lose their body shape. I used to be that way until I unplugged and researched these things myself. Now that I'm informed I don't have that delusional mindset. It's very freeing.
I've gotten leaner and keep hearing stuff like "you look good" from women who wouldn't give me the time of day - ego boost. And guys are saying "you look lean".....takes a lot of work (diet control, exercise daily). Of course, I only do it for myself to feel good about myself and not be a slug. Family members that dogged me for being chubby most of my life seem to be mute though - no compliments - so again, bottom line - do it for yourself and not others.
Wise words for sure! You're going to get all kinds of feedback from everyone around you no matter what end of the journey you're on. We've just gotta focus on us and being our best, well said!
@Ricky Martin
DITTO your post resonates with me. Its was the same. And the DISTURBING PART. We are only talking about 35lbs of weight loss in my case. At 5 8" and 205lbs. Even fat pretty average looking women wouldnt give me the time of day.
Now at 170lbs. I've got women I would never even approach before checking me out. And a few have even made an excuse to strike up a conversation.
What a crazy world we live in eh??? Family members too. Try to say oh good job. But it wont last they're in for a shock. My target is 162lbs. Then I will maintain it.
Family are often bothered by weightloss. I've lost 60 pounds and they are not only quiet, food pushers, but have made comments like.....your getting too skinny.
@@ColorMeRado facts
I'm down 42lbs so far, from obese to currently closer to normal weight than the obese line. One thing I forget is my new size, I forget that I'm not as fat as I was. I catch myself looking at the mirror for a split second and think "oh damn", even I shock myself. 20lbs more to go and I'll be at the healthy weight range for the first time in my life, can't wait.
Haha, I totally know that feeling! Congrats on your weight loss and thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I've very recently lost about 115 pounds and I feel very lucky that my family and close friends all have really treated me the same for the most part. It's the strangers day to day that I notice the biggest difference in. People smile at me way more now, cashiers are friendlier, even at times being cute baristas who flirt with me and I don't even realize they're flirting until I get in the car and my buddy goes, "you son of a gun. She was flirting with you heavy!" *Insert surprised Pikachu* and while it does feel nice to have people be friendly, it breaks my heart a little for all of the people who don't get those nice little passing moments or compliments. Cause I know exactly how it feels to never have that. It's really made me examine within myself the way I treat other people, particularly strangers, and I try absolutely as hard as I can to make sure I'm as friendly and open as possible to everyone, no matter how they look 💜 because everyone deserves kindness and connection. Not just those you find fuckable
Thanks for sharing your experience, I totally understand what you mean with this! A few years from making this video and even longer since I finished losing weight, I still notice things like this from time to time as well.
The world is a harsh place. Attractive people are definitely treated better. I think it is just psychological. What I mean is that, most people know that they should treat everyone equally, but when they meet someone who is good looking, then without even knowing they would treat that person better.
We’ve all just gotta do our best to treat others in a way we’d like to be treated as well. Simple and cliche but it can definitely make an impact.
@@joshfenn Yeah, man. Thanks for replying. It's good to see a UA-camr care about his audience.
I know this is an old video but i need to let this out, I thought that losing the weight i can finally be happy, 40 kgs later and all i feel is.....emptiness, to realise the years of bullying, the years of me crying for not understanding what was wrong with my "personality" was all because of the way i looked, when i lost the weight my personality didnt change,, but instead of being called the ugly socially inept fat guy i am now the cute shy guy.
People fucking suck
Just try and focus on the positives when you can, happy to hear about your 40kg loss. Do your best to enjoy it!
@@joshfenn thanks man, hopefully i can lose this cynical thinking and start improving my mental health instead of just my physical appearance
@@nutmalone5527 I'm sorry you feel empty mate. Allow me to offer a positive re-frame. If you found out that people disliked your genuine personality and you needed to fake behaviors to be liked, that'd be truly awful. Finding out that the genuine you was sufficient all along, and you just needed to take better care of your health, can be relieving in some ways. You were always enough.
Still, I'm sorry you went through so much.
Yes they do... You can't win.
Cyber hugs 💕🌹🎻
How are you feeling now ?
Goes to show that looks are the most important aspect of your life. Good job on your weight loss.
I wouldn’t quite say that but it definitely has an impact. Appreciate you watching and supporting though!
I lost weight and even my friends treated me better than they did when I was fat. They often mocked me and put me down so I thought they were just toxic (I still do) but I realized they genuinely befriended me just to make themselves feel better (both are chubby too but I was the largest). It sucks because I genuinely thought they liked me for me.
Hopefully in time you can meet some better people to include into your life!
I like you for your understanding and openness. Thanks for sharing 💕🌹
I’ve lost 124lbs since February and my friends are still my friends and are no different. but I have noticed that people who previously wouldn’t pay me any mind are now talking to me and being significantly nicer. Losing weight has helped me appreciate even more the friends that were with me when I was big
Absolutely know what you mean with that! I'm super lucky to have an amazing support system in my friend group, they'll stand with me through anything. :)
Wow. This all hits home. Especially the mom opinion... 😂😂😂
Haha, right?! Someday it'll click for her I think.
People were telling me I was too skinny when I was still an overweight BMI.
Yeah, same thing happened to me! Not really sure what causes that. Probably a mix of their view of you change and just the general misconceptions about healthy weight out in society. That improved for me over time though, hopefully the same case for you!
I’ve lost 30 kg - am a guy and surprisingly have found other guys are much more friendly. Close friends supportive. Family negative - they were a large part of the cause. Women seem in two camps - open or deeply resentful
Thanks for sharing your experience!
Thanks for sharing! Your comments of how others may treat you after weight loss are really insightful. I'm staying focused, in prayer, and determined to meet my health goals. Blessings!
Thanks so much for your support! :)
I have been grinding hard my whole life, it’s not genetics, it’s not easy, it’s hard fucking work, and there’s no encouragement for the dedication. I think there should be encouragement for those who have stuck with their routine for years of rejecting almost everything with sugar. I can’t remember the last compliment I’ve gotten. So I would say people don’t give a shit if you’re fat or not, they care when they see noticeable progression.
I really needed to hear this🥺 I'm going thru this, and it is so frustrating. If anything, I'm more anxious now than then in most situations
Yeah it’s a really weird feeling/situation, even years later for me know it still trips me up sometimes. Hang in there!
Great topic! Love your music choices, btw...
Thanks so much! Changed up the music this week for the 'Walk With Me's' after talking to someone in the comments the other week. Glad you enjoyed it, more new songs for the series will definitely be coming!
I think it's funny how no one cared how overweight I was. Then, I reach a normal BMI and all of a sudden you are unhealthy and need help quick! I'm still fairly young so maybe it's just age. But women who I pursued who gave me no time of day.. All of a sudden theyre buying me food and trying to get me to hang out with them. I'll take the free food. I'm still a fat boy at heart :) But, I won't let it go farther than that. Haha!
Haha, thanks for sharing your story with everyone!
Great video! I loved the topic.
Thank you! I loved talking about this one too, such a big topic to cover. Appreciate the support!
Love the video. I have also lost a bunch of weight the last few years and kept it off. I feel like a totally different person in more ways than just the weight loss.
Me too!
I like this interview with your wife idea!
Glad to hear it! Hoping to make it happen at some point. :)
Ain't it the truth. Great Question and Great Vlog
Thanks so much for the support, glad you enjoyed it!
Keep doing your thing man
Thanks!
Nice video man im really over weigght and i 18 and starting with a personal trainer today zfter watch a few of your videos thank you man
That's so awesome! Hope the training session went well, keep up the good work and thanks for the support!
Smug Bastard How it end up
Thank you so much!!! I saw the title and was super excited (as I always am for “walk with me”) but i’ve been wondering your opinion on this so I really appreciate this video! Definitely interview your wife if she is comfortable with that at some-point , i think it would be super interesting to hear about her journey throughout your journey! Thanks again! (& excuse my username- I was in middle school when i made this account and now I am in College!) -Annie
So glad you saw the video! I always worry someone isn't going to see the video from their original comment, haha. It was a great topic and situation to cover though, appreciate the participation and support. :) Glad to hear you'd be interested in my wife's side of things too, that's a video I would LOVE to make at some point. Still trying to figure out how exactly to structure the idea into the actual video, but it should come at some point.
No worries about the user name, I know exactly where you're coming from. If I could go back I probably would have just named the channel with my actual name, that's why I've been trying to 'rebrand' everything to BFL as much as I can. Thanks again for the support!
Great video
Thanks so much for the support!
love your shopping link on your sitesuper helpful
So glad to hear that!
Could you talk about your first week at the GYM, your first squat, deadlift, bench etc.
I went 91 from 108 kg's by counting my calories and walking in 3 months. Im planning to sign up to a GYM with my friend. I watched "How to squat, Deadlift, bench press" kinda videos. I've tried some of these (squat :D) at home and it hurts a lot for 2 days. Did you feel any pain at the start of your GYM journey, how did u embrace it? I love ur videos, thanks for the motivation :)
I'll definitely think on this one for a possible episode, thanks for the comment/idea! Short answer for you in the meantime though about the soreness, absolutely nothing to worry about there! Any changes to my routines or long breaks usually result in some muscle soreness for a couple of days. As long as you've got your form down and are going about everything safely you should be good to go!
Great question and answer. I dream of being called a hipster 😜😂
Haha, it's still so weird! Definitely not bad though, haha. :)
I've been called much worse :-)
Once my fat starts disappearing my inner demon starts appearing
Lots of mental work along the way for me as well
Respect greetings from Germany
Appreciate the support!
We already know the ans is helll yessss!!!!
Hey, I liked your video very much. The next time you do walk with me. Talk about Procrastination. Thanks
This would be a great topic! Something I'll definitely think on further for an episode. Is there a more specific problem that procrastination has been affecting your life, or anything specific your procrastinating with? The more detail the better, the examples always make for a great platform to jump off from for me. :)
BeardedFatLoss Yea especially regarding doing physical activity. I Procrastinate a lot. Also regarding following diet.
100% accurate
Thank you for watching and supporting!!
After losing weight, I tell those shallow people "complimenting me" - "Nice to know who you really are on the inside - so thank you for exposing how you are shallow! When I gain weight again, I will remember that" and then brush them off. I don't need superficial judging people in my life. Since then I gained weight while still being healthy and not eating crap, and I still don't exercise - due to developing exercise-induced cardiomyopathy (yes, that is an actual thing and it did result from WEIGHT LOSS and doing exercise) and sure enough, those people dropped off like the flies they are and as with all trash, they get brushed off and I keep moving on. ^_^ I was unhealthy when thin and that is the politically incorrect truth!
Sounds to me like it goes both ways with the judgement in your life.
99.9% of the time the people complimenting are not saying you looked trash before.... They know you are taking steps to lose weight and improve your health and want to compliment you and show you that your hard work has been noticed.
I really think you're looking at it wrong.
I am 5 foot 11 and I was 244 pounds and went to 176 pounds in about 8 months. I am finding myself more insecure honestly to putting on smaller clothing I almost feel like I need to hide the loss of such weight. I should be happy about it but it is definitely a very big adjustment in my mental state. I find it very uncomfortable that I am getting a ton of comments and people constantly reminding me and pointing out to how much weight I have lost. Yes I worked incredibly hard every day to get this far but I think it will take allot of time to get used to it. I can also say that I get a very uncomfortable feeling when I rub my hands on my stomach and there isn't a big belly to grab a hold of anymore and I am finding myself avoiding touching it at all as I get a uneasy feeling. Allot of people probably will read this comment and think I am nuts but unless you have experienced such a dramatic weight loss would not understand
It can definitely be a bit jarring at first, but it gets better with time! I’ve been maintaining for 10 years now and feel much more ‘normal’ in my body these days. Appreciate you sharing for this one though, it’s such a huge adjustment for most of us
Yes
And, you're in Portland of all places!!
Haha, you're so right! I can 'get away' with a lot out here without people even blinking an eye, it's a great place to live! :)
After loosing weight I got many new friends,self confidence and many more,
They're not friends I promise you
Back then they didn't want me now I'm hot they all on me .
I was 397 now im 189 after having a stroke 2yrs ago
What do you think about Keto diet
I've actually got a video on my thoughts on low carb diets in general, but I typically wouldn't recommend it for most folks. Unless you plan to eat keto for the rest of your life you usually have to learn to live/adjust your life around all food out there. I've found calorie tracking or macro tracking was equally effective for me compared to low carb and it taught me much better about how to maintain my weight post weight loss. That video is under the diet/nutrition playlist though if you're interested!
In an idealistic world weight shouldn't matter and attraction and relationships should be form based on core values however, having experienced weight gain>loss>gain>loss>gain>loss over the past 20 years, I can categorically say that losing weight absolutely makes a difference to how people treat you. I was in denial for a long time and living in a bubble to think that weight loss and even dyeing hair shouldn't matter. After all I should be accept me for me right? WRONG. Image matters in this superficial insta-swipe world. If you can't beat them (and you wont) join them BUT draw the line somewhere and own and maintain your uniqueness. Example weight loss and hair dye (not done it yet) is sufficient enough for me. Beyond that, fuck that.
Does the mindset change too
Absolutely!
Hipster lost its negative connotation completely haha back to being dope
Hahaha
❤️🔥
Well I started hitting you up... But I swear I am not a gold digger!
Hahaha, love it! :)
How to stay consistent?
I know I’ve made videos about staying consistent with weight loss before, I couldn’t find it though in the old catalog unfortunately. I think it’s just a matter of learning what works for you specifically and finding a way to keep yourself accountable. For my maintenance, I still weigh myself everyday and keep a log - it helps me spot any potential trends or issues so I can adjust before the problem grows.
Journey start today weight 90kg
BMI 30
Height near 175 cm
And do for my self
8/September/2022
After 3 month I give update 🤔
Keep up the good work, looking forward to seeing the update!
Update?
2:27 wtf? People really divorce because they are leaner??
Yeah it’s surprisingly common with big lifestyle and body changes!
too skinny - lol. too right. "be careful" they say..while they are eating donuts on pasta and glasses of beer and coke.
Sometimes people can feel threatened by the changes of others. That’s okay though, in my personal experience with people close to me it seemed to correct over time. As for the strangers, I’m not too concerned what they think 👍