Beth Crowley- I Am Not Nothing (Written for A Daughter's Curse by CJ Davidson)(Official Lyric Video)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 жов 2017
- Get "A Daughter's Curse" by C.J. Davison: www.amazon.com/Daughters-Curs...
Download "I Am Not Nothing" on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/album/i-a...
or stream on Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/2XMODU...
Ways to get my music:
Purchase Signed Physical CDs: www.bethcrowley.com/merch
Download on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/us/artist/be...
Stream on Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/70Mtv...
Let's be friends!
on Facebook: / bethcrowleymusic
on Twitter: / bethjcrowley
on Instagram: / bethjcrowley
Mail me something cool!
Beth Crowley
2690 Cobb Parkway SE
Suite A5, # 109
Smyrna, GA 30080
www.bethcrowley.com
Produced, mixed, and mastered by Daniel Dennis, Prime Cut Studio (www.producerdanieldennis.com)
“You always said that I was weak, but the bravest thing I did was leave”
One day, I hope to be brave enough to leave and tell my dad that I am not nothing.
I left the day I turned 18. Im 26 now and never looked back. Im stronger for it, but it took a huge amount of courage and nerves to do it. Now I excel in a great job, im married, and have a toddler. Things get better
I hope I will be brave enough to tell my dad the same thing. All he has ever done is mentally and emotionally abuse me. And oh, isn’t it funny how he sends me texts about how much he loves me everyday. (He literally just sent one now.) He doesn’t love me, he just wants me to believe that and then he hurts me all over again
The fact that you exist makes you worth fighting for. You have a quiet dignity, a great love, and a core of iron. Leave. You are worth it.
I’m here for you. I believe in you.
Leave. Be you, no matter how small you are, you will grow x
It's sad when home is where you feel like nothing.
Wejdan Consicence I feel ya
If you feel like nothing there, it's not really a home
Mаny do
Hope you've found a new home where you feel like everything, you feel important loved and wanted!!! I know I have and I feel more than I did, at least I'm living and not just to survive.
I also feel like Nothing at my own home, no one cares whether m thea or nt, but Inside me, i refused to be nothing, i will make my own home, m writing a new stroy wth a happy ending
My husband of 23 years left. Today I am 1600 days clean & just got accepted to the grad school of my choice for Forensic Psychology. My book has an awesome ending!
@Kiri that is the kindest thing I've heard in a long while. ❤
@Kiri Sadly not everyone's book does. Moment of silence for those who found life too much to bear and left the world because of it.
There aren't enough congrats or great jobs for your accomplishments. I'm so very proud of you ❤️
@@katthomas4001 thank you so much🥰
No honey, it has a great new beginning!
No matter your age, resilience, life experience or decisions you've made, nothing can prepare you for the hurt, anger and confusion of being meaningless to someone you love that's also supposed to love you in return. To anyone struggling for answers, wondering what you've done or what you can do, stop! You are enough and deserve to be loved.
i- like i didn't even know i needed this
its sad when your parents are supposed to love you but...........
So true. Stop begging. 8 years of begging in this marriage. 13 years in my first. I’m not begging a man ever again. They start so amazing. Once they have you…. It’s about control. Not partnership. I wanted a partner. I’m good now. I’m my best partner. Men. Wake up. We don’t need you anymore. We want you. Otherwise. We’re fine on our own. In my case. I’m better without them.
So true. Isolating myself so long. Because it was bad and I didn’t want anyone to know my mistake in judgment.. the shame is gone. Time to start over and stop being ashamed because I chose the wrong person
Walked out of a toxic partnership. I refuse to let myself be used like that. No more begging. No more asking why. No more waiting for someone else to complete my life. No more waiting for someone to complete me. I'm done ✌🏻
Thank you
He can't hurt me anymore
Amen to that I'm right there with you but sadly fresh to freedom and still getting use to this and so much more but I love this song it's like a anthem
Andie Abrams were free. It hurts so much right now but I am praying one day I am okay
My Father My Ex Freedom Is Sweet Salvation I’m Not To Be Owned I Am To Be Cherised
Hes dead and still hurting me....😥😥💔
Neither can she
Your songs have made a huge difference in my life, and I am now writing a book about a girl who felt like nothing, she gets struck by lightning and wakes up in a new world and soon sees the true value of her own world.
Hannah McCreary That sounds beautiful. I would love to read it when it’s finished. 🙂
Hannah McCreary i would love to read this it sounds really reflective
Hannah McCreary I would read that!
Hannah McCreary sounds sweet, I want to read that someday!
I'd totally read that? Is it up on any websites?
Hes not my book, just a small chapter, he doesnt define the story just adds to the plot, but theres always a moral in the following chapter.
Thank you 😊
Beautifully said
The secret is not to feel but to become what you wish to feel.
@@sharilynnecrocker9937 I am saving this quote.
Are you a poet? 👍📜
“You always said that I was weak, but the bravest thing I did was leave”
My favorite line it really relates to me
Me as well
"So I will forgive myself and start to let it go, accept that who you chose to be was out of my control."
Self-forgiveness really is one of the hardest things you can do sometimes. This song really touched me. Thank you, this is an amazing song.
Accalia Red its something I can not let myself do It. I don't Think i am worth it
Accalia Red I kept blaming myself abour my ex in jail. Maybe if i was nicer, more attentive? But, she's right. None of this was my fault! He was this way before I met him.
This ♡
Same
That's true
I dedicate this song to my demon of Depression and to those who tried to teach me that I wasn't good enough.
BigTopFreakShow
i find songs to be just that to some people inclusing myself. You are not nothing; I hope you're much better now. or that you will be soon.
Right in the feels BigTopFreakShow 😰 I've been told one way or another that I'm not good enough my whole life... when enough ppl tell you these things, you start to believe it, and it becomes a part of you. Oh how I wish I could fly away to heal my broken spirit and leave my demons far behind....unfortunately my demons like to travel 😣
Brooke Bee
I can only try to understand what you've been through; despite sharing your thoughts, your experiences are very much yours. I hope that despite such bad times, experiences, and relations you may find within you the value you have. It's okay to take time off, focus on you. I hope you may find a space in which you may start to realize you are able to and can heal.
All the best.
I looked at the song as i battle depression and sever anxiety
And so far its winning
Especially to those who were closest and were suppose to love me the most.
Those will always be the heaviest scars.
Long story short i lived in fear,doubt,and in prison with a very toxic person that I had once let make me feel inadequate and weak, and still believed he loved me even through the bearings the tears and the fear he had scared me with. Then through many prayers did God let trial come my way. I lost everything. Jobs,friends,my home,my children,my sanity, and my life. Homeless and without hope came a friend who traveled and conquered many waves helped me with comfort,peace,patience,and wisdom. I have started to look up instead of down. I found myself and began loving me for myself. I can never thank Jesus enough for that friend in which was brought into my life, and i will for ever have this person in my heart...so thank you, and you know who you are!
Dear members of my high school:
I am not nothing.
Thank you
You are everything
You are amazing
You have a strong future no matter how old
You have a life to live so live it and enjoy the rest of your day
Of course your not dear.....don't listen to members of high school....the most critical people have it reserved for themselves.....a lesson I learned is hurt people hurt people because a truely healthy person doesn't want to see another in pain. Their are a lot of people in pain and broken hearts needing to be accepted and loved out there. So, you be you dear and keep loving yourself because you matter and you are worthy and you are enough.
Yeah... we are something much better than what they could be.
You are everything to someone so please don't ever forget that.
fuck yes, EMPOWERMENT
I had to stop talking to my toxic parent, and consequently my entire family. I am so broken. Today I felt so defeated. But this song gave me hope. Thank you 💔
You are beautiful and amazing and so so brave and loved 💗
keep spirit brada
I'll keep them and you in my prayers 💗 I hope you find happiness
Tbh I have been there I was abused for the first 18 years of my life and I kept in contact with my birth mom because I didnt want her to feel like she lost another child since her first 2 wont talk to her. But she never protected me from her wife who abused me or all the other people that did. I finally had to cut the toxic people out of my life which meant all of my blood family. It is hard and you can feel guilty at times but you shouldn't. Just because you cut them out dosent mean you dont have family that will be there I still do and they are my friends and people that stood up for me and protected me when my blood fairly was no where to be seen or was going the one harming. When we loose something or have to cut something out in the moment all may seem lost or u may feel alone but there is always a light around to help u. Weather is an animal or a person theres always something. I promise it may be hard but it will get better.
DarthxErik
same haven't talked but lil Email's w/ MOM n sister. haven't seen them face to face...since my husband's funeral 😠 😠 8yrs ago.. bitches.. All family got left
my Daddy past 14 mo of stage 4 cancer B4 my husband died of fatal HEART Attack.. have PTSD as do my 19 n 13 yr old Girl's..who were in house with him dead on floor of middle of the living room! I wasn't there.. during hurricane Irene 2011. I'm diagnosed with PTSD n delayed Greaving! had to be strong. STILL dealing with the CLUSTER F my n girl's life have come to! life SUCKS!!
Every person who isa survivor of domestic violence should hear this song. If someone makes you feel worthless or small its not love. You have value.
Vicky Dierker I listened to this song as I packed my things and left him for the last time after he almost killed me
Vicky Dierker
Id second that and include all types of abuse.
Kikks ADE ❤
I agree! So inspiring to begin again and let the past go
I'm listening
Thank you to my parents who are the reason I have severe anxiety and depression, also PTSD! My life is awesome! Thank you to my relatives who failed me, and that police officer. The one that came to my house to talk to my father, the two of you seemed like good friends, laughing and joking around. You didn’t help at all, not kidding. Thank you my parents, you are the reason I can’t feel emotions; like my heart is just dead in my chest. And for making me disassociate, that’s fun. Now I can’t think, like along with not having a heart I now don’t have a brain! This is why I fail school, I can’t access my brain it disassociated from the rest of my body. No one cares though, you don’t believe me. Okay, I’m fine.
@openblogtomyabusivemother on Tumblr really helped me with my own abusive family situation. She might help you too. And, you definitely deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy and treated well as loved and respected and free. You will be one day. Good luck.
You will survive to a greater human.Trust me the strongest tree stand as they have seen ample storm,rain and much more.
You will be free soon. Stay strong Arlett. I'm sorry you are going through this.
Always remember the lyrics in the song
" I'll show you that I am not nothing"
I hope everything will get better for you
Actually, though you may not believe, I am sure that everything will get better for you
Just stay strong and know that there Are people who care
Hope your okay
I know this song is about domestic violence but while listening it reminded me of when I went through anorexia. And because it takes so much from you. When I recovered I had to take back my life. And the abuser is the voice of my eating disorder.
It can be about whatever it means for you. ❤️ That’s the beauty of art. I hope you are doing better…
To me its a toxic relationship from a boyfriend.
As a domestic violence survivor This song really touches my heart ❤
I’m glad you’re out of that situation. You deserve to be free and safe and happy.
You really deserve so much better.
I've always been the funny person in my group so no one takes me seriously and often they take advantage of me when my life during school was awful due to people I was stuck with and my sister makes my life at home awful but nobody cares. So this song's comments really help me know that there are good people in this world that don't deserve what they get.
To the family who mocked me:
I am not nothing.
To the friends who forgot me:
I am not nothing.
To the boyfriend who left me:
I am not nothing.
And to the girl I once believed I had to be - the one who cut and burned and put herself down:
I am not nothing!
I am something beautiful and unique. I am taking back my life, and I will show you:
*I am not nothing!*
You are not nothing. In fact, you are everything! ❤️
ABSOLUTELY!! DON'T YOU EVERY FORGET THAT EITHER!!
You are beautiful inside and out and have a wonderful future ahead. Believe that and learn proper self love and the future is yours and worth it just as you are.
To those reading this, you are loved, you are forgiven, and you are strong. :)
Growing up with an abusive father and no mother, all my friends hurting me and struggling to find my way in life...this really speaks deeply to me. Thank you
I hope ur fine..
U need a friend? Orr
I left my narcissistic fiancé , a relationship of 7 and a half years, just a week ago. I suffered severe emotional abuse and struggled with worthlessness, anxiety and feelings of inferiority. But I got the strength through God and I packed my things up and left. The bravest thing I did. I just discovered this song and reading the comments here, I don’t feel so alone anymore.
Congrats on having the strength to leave a narcissist... I just did the same thing. Are you feeling better yet? It's really hard to think I meant nothing to him
Doesn't matter if you're a man, doesn't matter if you're a woman, doesn't matter if you have no gender-
Abuse is abuse. Abuse doesn't look at genders. It's a horrible thing and I hope you, yes you, I hope that your day gets better because I love you. You are worth it.
I love you too. Thank you for the reminder. I wish you every happiness
Gender
?
GOD4501h
Thank you.
I am done being manipulated into thinking I am less than, that only medication will "fix" me. I may be broken but not in the way they think. My scars do not define me but instead bring out my true beauty.
I am a broken pot but every fissure is lined with gold. I am beautiful. I am highly intelligent. I am generous. I am honest. And above all else I am selflessly kind. I will not allow them to twist and distort my views of the world or myself. I will fight the falsehoods one by one if I have to.
Yas!
U GO GURL!
When I wrote this 8 months ago, I figured I would turn back into that subdued person I was. Though I still struggle with my self worth at times, I know that I am worth more than myself or anyone else bargained for. I may not be what they want but I am what I need to be. If they can't make the effort to understand that is a them problem.
Your scars MAKE you beautiful. You survived. Inside you are beautiful and outside too im sure
Awesome!
"Nothing is everything and everything is nothing."
Lumine ‘Nothing is everything, and nothing is everything, everything is no where, and nothing is anywhere. Makes sense right?’
Charles Kiley and lizard, no.... it doesn't, you wrote it wrong.....
The feels >^
Lumine wait...did you just quote the lyrics of RM-Do you ?
*Awaits the people that watch lyric video from Red*
Nothing and Everything/Fight Inside
"So I will forgive myself and start to let it go, accept that who you chose to be was out of my control."
This line is so beautiful and I relate to it so much. Beth, your music is always so relatable and I love it and your voice. I often turn to this song when I start to have regrets about personal family stuff and how i chose to leave those who proved to me time and time again that they were not going to change and be better. Sorry for this long message, I'll just go now...
It’s great that you left your advising family. They don’t deserve you. You deserve happiness and freedom. You deserve so much more than what you’d have if you stayed with them. Good job for leaving and good luck in your new life.
I think that her music is so relatable because she takes characters and situations they've had to deal with from books and put them into a whole new perspective. She shows exactly how they feel and a lot of authors, including myself, take experiences that we've been through, or that people we hold close have been through, and use it to shape and form a character. When she finds these books, she writes songs so that others will listen and think, "Hey, I relate to this." and keep on listening, and it's genuinely amazing and so impressive to see. Also, I am so happy you got yourself out of that toxic situation.
I know what's it's like to leave family, I'm only 14 but I cut my mother completely out of my life. I've wanted to do it for awhile but I always felt like it would be doing the same thing she did to her dad. She cut him out of her life, but not for the same reason I cut her out of my life, she did it because he wanted to help her. For so long I just went with everything and let the abuse just happen. But back in October I finally decided I wouldn't see her anymore, I finally told her I was going to my Dads and not coming back. She is an addict, she didn't leave scars on my body but she left scars in my mind and in my heart. Because of years of mental and emotional abuse I am scared to open up to even my closest friends, who still don't know about any of this, and I've never even allowed myself to have a crush. I thought her countless failed relationships were just how love is supposed to be and at a young age I decided I didn't want to go through that. I still feel bad for leaving but I realize now that if she gets me gifts and says she loves me then yells at me for no reason and calls me an ungrateful, b*tchy, spoiled brat, that that's not right. I would do what she asked then get yelled at for not doing it fast enough.
One time I gave my little sister some of my chocolate and she spit it out on the floor after it melted, then I was told to pick it up (not that bad) but she yelled at me instead of just telling me to. Then, because of my weak stomach, I ended up puking on the floor when I tried to clean it up, yelled at again. Then when I was cleaning that up I got yelled at for being to slow. Sometimes she'd ask me to do something and it wouldn't be physically possible so I'd get yelled at. If I asked to go to my dads early I'd get yelled at, if I asked him to come get me without telling her I'd get yelled at and my phone would get taken away. It got to the point that any time I'd leave the house, or she'd be in a different room, I couldn't have my phone because she didn't want me to ask to be picked up. At one point she took my phone because she was paranoid that all her exes had been working together to make her life miserable and that I was helping them, I never got that phone back. There are countless other incidents like this but I think this comment is long enough. I know it probably doesn't sound that bad but years of going through this takes a toll on you.
omg this played as i read this ah
I've seen wayyyy longer comments ur good girl god bless
As the child of an abusive father who ran away at 18, this resonates with me so hard.
This breaks my heart..I'm very sorry
Me too hun but we got this ❤
So, This song just changed my life. I grew up not only with a toxic parent, but also with a horrific bully. SO each verse was extremely personal. Thank you for doing this.
I hope you got away from them.
No one ever made me feel as small as you did
No one made me feel as cursed
I'd lie awake in bed just staring at the ceiling
Wondering if things would get worse
I was trapped under your thumb
Believing when you called it love
But I will forgive myself
And start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be
Was out of my control
And though it might be hard
To begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story
With a happy end
I survived
So tonight
I am taking back my life
And I'll show you
That I am not nothing
I kept my head above the water
'Til the moment when all the elements aligned
And I could fly away to heal my broken spirit
And leave my demons far behind
You always said that I was weak
But the bravest thing I did was leave
So I will forgive myself
And start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be
Was out of my control
And though it might be hard
To begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story
With a happy end
I survived
So tonight
I am taking back my life
And I'll show you
That I am not nothing
Looking up at the sky
I think I see the start of a sunrise
And I will forgive myself
And start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be
Was out of my control
And though it might be hard
To begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story
With a happy end
I survived
So tonight
I am taking back my life
And I'll show you
That I am not nothing
I'll show you
That I am not nothing
Katie Ramshawk good job typing and all but the lyrics are on the screen
Morgan Jade thanks, I wrote them bc sometimes there is a delay in the lyrics as in the way they come up and I couldn’t sing along with it so I put them down so it would be easier but now I don’t need it as I know the lyrics.
Katie Ramshawk thnx, u made it more easy to sing along. 😆
S DTM np ☺️
This is a lyric video, but okay
I really love the song I am a 64 year old woman but my spirit has never been broken the rest of me however has been shattered sometimes I think Beyond repair but God has me and that's all I need to know God bless you and you are not nothing I love your voice you're amazing
Damn, as an adult survivor of child abuse this song hits close to home for me. It makes me so sad to see how it hits home for many others in the comment section, too. Wth is wrong with people? How can anybody abuse a child, make them feel worthless and unsafe? It's just mind-boggling to me, how anyone can do that. That aside the line "you always told me I was weak, but the bravest thing I did was leave" is especially poignant because growing up I felt weak and powerless because my abuser was physically so much stronger and bigger than me and I often ran away from him, screaming and crying. I felt like the "loser" in most of our arguments because he would lash out at me when I didn't do what he wanted and/or talked back to him. Now I realize that I was never the weak one, my abuser was. My abuser was weak, he was the "loser" in all of our arguments because he couldn't win with words. He had to resort to physical violence to prove his point, and looking back on it often when he lashed out it seemed like it was after I said something that he had no good comeback for. HE was weak, HE was the coward for resorting to using his hands instead of his head and using intimidation and physical discipline to coerce me. My abuser was so pathetic that he got angry and harmed A CHILD when said child refused to do what he said. Idk about you, but that's pretty sad. Any adult who harms a child is pathetic and immature. Anybody who harms anyone that is weaker than them or that poses little threat to them is pathetic and worthy of only mockery. There is no honor, no prestige, in besting an opponent that lacks the ability to truly fight back.
🙏😔
Dito...
I pray for anyone in a situation you and countless others have gone through. Although I have never experienced it, I know you are all brave. Keep fighting 💪 🙏
@@Stronko5922 Thank you.
"There is no honor, no prestige, in besting an opponent that lacks the ability to truly fight back."
Such a powerful truth. Childhood abuse and trauma left me with lifelong scars and Borderline Personality Disorder. Your words are spot on. I am sorry you went through so much trauma. You are a gifted writer. Thank-you for sharing.
Boy, is this song touching my soul tonight. I broke things off with my narcissistic ex recently and he kidnapped me, beat me and threatened to kill me. I am so thankful to be alive and on this healing journey, free of him. He sits in jail with no bond for now, on domestic violence and violation of the protective order. He is still contacting me from the jail and yes, I am reporting it! I sure hope that they do not let him out because he is not going to give up...but, neither am I!! I sooo appreciate this song!!
Please be careful and believe that they will hurt you, before it is too late! 😊
*I survived so to night im talking back my life and ill show you im not Nothing*
Oh my goodness... When the background changed😍😊
Mana Sakaguchi lol i did not even noticed that
Oh my goodness YES
I think it was a time lapse. The way the lyrics "I think I see the start of a sunrise" lined up with the actual sunrise was beautiful.
Tropical Bananas that background change gave me chills. So incredibly powerful!
I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years I was so scared to leave and every time she hit me I would find a way to blame myself because I was blind to the fact that I deserved so much better than that I still have flashbacks to this day and am so scared to stand up for myself I am now in a new relationship and we are slowly working on it even though when anyone gets mad around me I try to run and hide recovery is hard but I believe I can do this
Good luck. Good job for leaving her. You’ll have a wonderful, happy, and free life I’m sure.
I still suffer the same thing it's the fight or flight that's now in us I remember being in Walmart with my mom and a couple behind us got in a argument I started shaking and instantly left the store .
@@jessicadaniel7085 It’s good that you’re out of there at least.
Thank u for sharing this....it couldn’t have been easy to do, it does eventually get better with time & support. It’s taken me 15yrs & I’m finally going to therapy at yellow door & they are amazing.
It’s like coz you’ve been through that u need to retrain ur brain not to automatically react the way u used to, let alone realising u r worth more than being treated like that. Good luck I wish u all the best in ur future & im glad u have a supportive partner now xx
This is exactly what I needed to hear. EXACTLY. Every word I wanna shout from the top of my lungs. Incredible song 🖤🖤
Brilliant I couldn't have described my story better
This reminds me of a friend of mine, he had been in foster care from the minute he was born, when he was 3 a man adopted him and his life was okay but it was still hard, his biological father was a monster. I dedicate this song to him
Everyone is currently talking about the lyrics and music, and they are AMAZING, but it’s the background that was constantly grabbing my attention when I first watched the video.
At first, I only saw the black and focused mostly on the text. Around the second verse, I noticed this small line of colour that I couldn’t place(around where the sun rises later). At first I actually thought it was a smudge on my screen. I couldn’t make out anything so I figured it was a mistake or something. Then came “the start of a sunrise” and slowly everthing became visible, showing this beautiful serene scene. That coupled with the swelling of the music almost brought me to tears. This really is a piece of art. This song could save lives.
I didnt see it at first. Thank you for telling me!
👑
it's so cute seeing the comments cheer each other on and just overall wholesomeness :}
"I was trapped under your thumb, believing when you called it love."
"But I will forgive myself, and start to let it go, accept that who you chose to be was out of my control."
"I'll show you, that i am not nothing."
So... strong... I am literally speechless Beth. You don't know how much your songs help me Beth, so much.
I finally filed for divorce! I'm going to be free finally! Blessed be! 🕊️🦋✨🙏📿
I'm 61 and I'm still fighting to be free. I don't think it will ever end for me.
😢 please see that you can be free from all the put downs and cruel words. Be you, you don't need them. Be loved, you deserve it, love yourself .
I am a survivor of abuse. Not a victim. A survivor. Was just diagnosed with DID. And now the work really starts of identifying all my alts, combining them together, and re-absorbing them. I'm afraid of getting their memories of my childhood, but I want to start feeling normal someday. And I made an agreement with my therapist, I'll go to college when I've stayed out of the hospital for a full year. I plan to study psychology.
Taking back my life is one of the hardest things I've done... I'm still trying, I'm still struggling to be me and getting rid of that fear... accepting who they chose to be is hard...
Likely I've got someone who loves me, who helps me, who reminds me of my worth everyday. If it was not for him and God, I would still be lost... I'm thankful for what I have. God saved me by sending my soon to be husband on my path.
Jesus loves us, and God never puts us in a 'challenge' without giving us the tools and knowledge to be able to get through it. Everything we go through, makes us stronger not just as a person but in faith as well.
Some say that praying and believing in God never helped them, but they're wrong. God never gave up on us, we gave up on Him. God gives us so much more than what we need if we stand strong in our faith.
I'm not the most religious person out there, I sometimes have doubts, I sin, I struggle to get by some days, but in the end I know that God has me covered, all I need to do is take his hand.
People hate God for their current situation or past situations, but honestly, if you did not go through what you did, you would not have come out stronger in the end. We need to go through struggles to be able to grow. If the people writing these type of encouraging songs didn’t go through struggles and difficulties, they would not be writing them.
Even if we feel like 'why? Why do we need to go through these things to grow or anything like that?' We need to push through.
It doesn't matter how many times you've fallen but merely the amount of times you've stood up.
Don't be lifes doormat
Oh hey. You're a Christian!! YAY! I will pray 4 u!!!! Love ya :)
God bess you and anyone who chances upon this comment :)
I know this song wasn't meant this way, but this just brings me to tears because it reminds me of my dad. Growing up he always made me feel so small and unwanted. He would start screaming if I cried, telling me to shut up and stop overexaggerating. He gave my little brothers everything and basically just didn't care about me. When my parents got divorced I at first had to stay with him, but I was so miserable to the point I wanted to end it all. So now two and a half years ago I left and it was the best decision I have ever made!
Good for you! Being in a similar situation, I know who can help you! His name is Jesus Christ and He was always there and still is!❤
❤️
No one never made me feel as small as you did
No one made me feel as cursed
I'd lie awake in bed just staring at the ceiling
Wondering if things would get worst
I was trapped under your thumb
Believing when you called it love
But I will forgive myself and start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be was out of my control
And though it might be hard to begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story with a happy end
I survived, so tonight I am taking back my life
And I'll show you that I am not nothing
I kept my head above the water 'til the moment
When all the elements aligned
And I could fly away to heal my broken spirit
And leave my demons far behind
You always said that I was weak
But the bravest thing I did was leave
So I will forgive myself and start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be was out of my control
And though it might be hard to begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story with a happy end
I survived, so tonight I am taking back my life
And I'll show you that I am not nothing
Looking up at the sky
I think I see the start of a sunrise
And I will forgive myself and start to let it go
Accept that who you chose to be was out of my control
And though it might be hard to begin again
I'll write myself a brand new story with a happy end
I survived, so tonight I am taking back my life
And I'll show you that I am not nothing
I'll show you that I am not nothing
I love how you can see a sunrise in the background: It's like a symbol of hope and life and new beginnings.
Thank you, beth. this song helped get me through leaving my toxic and abusive family and i've never been as happy as i am now. Recovery and healing are hard and they'll take a long time but the fact that i can even have that feeling in a safe space is amazing. I still remember hearing this song for the first time. i had just decided to go and this came up in my recommended and i sat at the desk and cried harder than i had in years hearing it and realized that i could be happy. Thank you for helping me break my chains. I'm finally free
Such a powerfull song for all DV survivors...
"you always said that i was weak, but the bravest thing I did was leave"
you hear that dad? 7 months now since the stars aligned, rebuilding my life from scratch.... MY life...not yours... i left you far behind... now only the demons remain and even those begin to heal.
Ur better than he will ever be girl
they can't hurt me
they can't abuse me
they can't hit me
they are gone.
the bravest thing I did was leave
I'm writing myself a brand new story with a happy end.
2 years later and this song still keeps me alive. I literally did fly away and leave my demons behind this year when I spent two whole weeks on the east coast far from my family. It felt free, and clear. It was the start to my moving to New Hampshire from Wisconsin. Hopefully...I'll be moving permanently away from my family
I hope moving worked for you. I hope you are safe now and getting better. Wish you the best. You can write your happy end.
This song brings me to the point of tears every time I listen to it. I was emotionally abused by someone who I thought was my best friend for six years, and though I did cut ties with her, to this day I sometimes have a hard time accepting that all of the blame for the abuse falls on her. Sometimes I still think that maybe if I had been a better listener, a better friend, a better everything, we might have worked things out. And I know that every time my first response is to apologize or give extra chances or downplay how something hurts me, it's the damage that "friendship" left on me surfacing again. It's been more than six years since I last spoke to her, and I'm still working through the wreckage she left. Self-forgiveness is something I struggle with a lot.
if you read this far and you're dealing with a similar situation, know that you're not alone, and that you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. One day, it will get better.
I feel like your comment was directed to me
@@cissybrown9027 First half, no. Second half, if you're struggling with something similar, absolutely.
It’s wonderful that you were able to leave that fake-ass “friend.” :D
You will find someone else... YOU are not nothing...
I’m in a similar scenario. I am trying to leave but I keep convincing myself that they’re actually a good person and that I am the one in the wrong. I came to this song to help me get past that and it’s working.
This is an amazing song! It really reminds me of my situation. I'm going through a divorce right now and I have a one month old baby. My ex husband was very emotionally and mentally abusive. Two weeks ago I finally filed for divorce and took my son and left that apartment. I loved my husband but who he became was "out of my control."
FightingPhoenix good for u. I hope things are getting better for you and are all well 😊
I m going though same experience as you oh my it hard!!
How do you do it I'm stuck but mines 6 months old now my boyfriend is making me feel like crap daily then says he's sorry I don't feel like myself anymore I feel like I'm drowning without water I'd love some advice
@@alyssavillarreal1324 leave and only come back if you convincingly see a change in him. It will do good for you, the baby and might hopefully change him for good too. Love and Prayers 😘
Hey, similar for me. Although I´m male and our daughter is 3 1/2 years. But right now I´m stuck in that relationship. And all my friends give me the advice to leave, bevause I´m unhappy with her abusive behaviour. And then: You find this song and it gives you hope to start writing your own happy end story... :-)
For all of you who already walked that path till the end: My deepest respect for your bravery!
My favourite part of this song might be how the first word of the chorus changes each time as she makes progress in forgiving herself. It goes from " *but* I will forgive myself" to " *so* I will forgive myself" to " *and* I will forgive myself" as she starts to see how it's ok for her to do that. I really relate to that as it took me a long time to go from hesitantly trying to forgive myself to it just feeling natural and reasonable. ❤
This speaks volumes of my relationship with my mom...she hated me from the womb...at 51 years old I still struggle with the memories of control and abuse. She has passed on..with no apology. I'm still learning it wasn't my fault. Thank you for this song.
@scottwilliams1709 yes it did make me smile 😃. Thank you. Have a wonderful day.
This song... yesterday I told my crush, I wanted to kill myself, he was the first person I've told in my life, he didn't reply and I thought he thought I was crazy, and left my message on seen. I told him everything and he didn't do anything. Today at school, I got called out of class with a note to me from the teacher, I read it and it wanted me to go to the guidance councilor, immediately i freaked out, cos I knew he told them, they talked me through everything and I cried for over 2 hrs straight, I came home today, and I found a really long message from him, telling me that it was good i told him, and i was glad he replied, the best thing was that, he told the guidance councilors because he was helped by them when he felt down and lonely, he helped me, and im really glad he did. The main thing is that he cares about me. I met him a few days ago before telling him, and we weren't friends or anything, we were strangers. This song was basically what the councilors told me, to be myself and love myself. I love this song...
damn this was sent 2 years ago, funny cos recently I've been thinking about wanting to die again...but hey, I'm still alive, and I'm sure ill find this comment in a few years again, and thanks for all the support
october 3rd 2021: thanks for all the positive messages! ive read thru all of them, im doing so much better now, and i hope u guys are doing fine too :) ps if any of u guys have discord add me :p ro.syyy#0246 as most of u said, strangers on the internet are really helpful and a lot of them have helped me through the toughest times.
Its hard to let go of some we really love.. We feels low when we don't get what we want.... I waited for my crush for 6 year.. But i never heard from her.... N after a long six years i fall on someone one first side.... But even that it same as that... I got her no i tx her but its hard to get reply from her... I always wait for 4to 5 day but its good i always appreciate because its so good to get something from someone we love.....
I have read you comment i just want you to know that the only way you stop loving is if you quit its ok even if they don't love you back.. Its hard but wait until it comes to reality... Prove that you was true... If they have feelings they will feel for you and understand you........
LEARN TO WAIT
The longer you wait for something the more you appreciate it when you get it..
Have a nice day...
@@thenameisyimkum.1934 ..waiting 18 years..for somone that promises the moon..then suddenly discards you.. ive done that..and im still doing it..im 29 now. he was my childhood sweetheart..the only one that i felt cared. my mother and family? narraccists.. no matter what i did? i couldnt please them..and he ? he was my greatest strength..my only weakness.. and i was loyal..always loyal.. no matter what he said.did.. his pet names for me? dumass and numnuts.. but the one that hurt me the most..the one this song makes me think of/..is my mother..the one who only saw the fantasy she wanted me to be..not who i was..
The same thing happened to me I told one of my friends and she told the guidance counselor and they helped me
Hey Rosy, I don't know whether you'll read this or not but I want to say that I got tears in my eyes from your story. You're a strong and independent woman and you deserve all of the best in life. Keep focusing on what's important in life💗🙌💯
I think he is in your life right now for a reason ^^ is fate
Enjoy and make good memories
Songs can help you when you are at a dark place.
Just remember when your darkness overtake your mind there is always a good side your light is somewhere in there trying to reach you and bring you to see the beauty of the world again :)
I love listening to Beth Crowley, because I have the same last name and i feel like it was in a way fate. Your music has helped me find stenghth within myself. Thankyou.
This is the thought my psychologist wants me to work on, "I'm not nothing, I am good enough, I am proud of my self" she wants me to say those things out loud, because that's the first step to believing it, but i cannot do it, I try, but i am unable to actually say it, my voice breaks and I just start crying. I will never be enough, and nobody will ever love me because I keep pushing people away when they get too close, even though all I've ever wanted is for somebody to get close to me, see me, and love me regardless from the mess I am and make.
Ik you may not really want someone to reply to this, but I will anyway. You don’t have to force yourself to say it out loud. You could just write it on a piece of paper and stick it onto your mirror where you can see it every day. That’s what I’ve done. I have depression, but I have some super awesome friends who can read me fairly well even tho I don’t really let them in, and they’ve written some cards reminding me that I’m worth something. I’ve secured them in the frame of my mirror, so I can see them and read them to myself when I’m in one of my downward spirals. Maybe, you should just try that. You ARE good enough to be cared for. I hope my idea helps you start to believe that.
Yes, Kylie is right, I couldn’t tell myself these things either so I wrote on a stick it note & stuck it on the corner of my mirror so everyday I’d go to do my hair & id read it, u do eventually start whispering or muttering it & I know it’s rlly hard to believe right now but u will get through this & come out the other side xx plz take care xx
Cry and let it out. It is sad that you can not see the value you have because of messages of uncaring people. We all can be as good as we want. Life is hard. But that is not a reflection of us. How we resist and fight to be positive and happy is. You have to choose YOU. You're a human being!. That is a precious gift. Tell yourself 5 nice things about yourself everytime you or someone says something negative. Find anyone that will tell you when you struggle. Then believe what they say. Don't belittle it. Words have power. Tell yourself you are what you want to be. Then you will be it. "I am strong. I am smart. I am thoughtful. I am valuable. I am motivated." All positive I am statements. Go fight for YOU.
Then don't say it out loud. Start with writing it. Keep the piece of paper with you wherever you go. Then, whisper it. Or just mouth the words without actually making any noise. Baby steps are still steps. Work your way up in whatever way fits you.
This comment honestly made me tear up due to how much it reminds me of myself. We had this day at church where we were staring at our reflection in the mirror and we had to say something about ourselves we wished to hear from someone else. That we were enough. I started crying before finishing the first two words.
Dear Beth, please keep singing forever. No artist in my lifetime has ever touched my soul like you have. I'ts as if you read my mind every time, with every song. I am a survivor of domestic violence, amongst other traumas that I never thought I could experience in one lifetime. I thank you everytime for "keeping my head above the water'. Your honesty, courage, and truth of the hardships of life and surviving them is an inspiration that will last an eternity. I have PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which can be so difficult to deal with sometimes. Thank you for continuing to help me stay strong. Bless you xxxxx
U will always be greatly lived
Loved
Today i just found out that my crush used me just for fun...thanks Beth I love you😘😘😘
Petra Lenghel
naww, good luck love!
Then he/she was an idiot
Petra Lenghel same and he was actually trying to keep me to it was tough but this helped alot
Fireball 278 Ikr? This song came right at the perfect moment
It's so nice to know that people care...even if we are straingers
So beautiful! My mom is a narcissist and right now have no contact. This song was suggested to me I am so glad I listened. Your voice is beautiful too.
I can understand not having contact with a mother, I don’t have contact with mine for similar reasons.
Bravo to all you beautiful, worthy women. Gods speed.
A home is a place where you should feel safe, loved and sheltered.
The worst thing that can ever happen to you is that you are afraid to go back to that house. That you associate fear and an uncomfortable and unloved feeling with it.
When you have nowhere to go, nowhere to feel good.
Stand against that! Talk to someone out there! Ask for help!
But don't you dare to believe they are right! Do never believe that you are nothing. Because you aren't!
NOONE IS NOTHING! And this is, what we have to show them.
Damn, yes! It will be hard. Very hard. But together we can stand tall.
Together we can show the world that Noone is nothing!
Thank u Amanda, what emotional, true, touching & inspiring words-thank u!
I can relate. I was raised up with mental and physical violence by my earlier stepdad. My mom was blind. Or maybe she closed her eyes. Thank you for this survival song❤️
"But I will forgive myself and start to let it go" I never realized how much these word should be said to everyone, not just the people who are visibly depressed because not everyone shows that they are hurting. Me personally I hide what I really feel underneath a smile, and 98% people believe me.
That was me when I was younger. You’ll be happy. You’ll be able to cut bass people out of your life, meet good people, learn to love yourself, get therapy, and a lot of things. And you’ll get better. I’ve seen it happen so many times.
That is me, bit 1/4 of my smiles are real now, and that number keeps getting bigger.
@@buggy7073 That’s really great, that you’re recovering. 😃🎉
@@faristasairuv5143 these songs and those I care for is what's helping me recover. It was set back a little because we had to put down our old dog, but I am much better than before.
@@buggy7073 That’s really great. :D It’s wonderful that you have loving and supportive people in your life, and that you have music that helps you express yourself and feel stronger. I’m sorry that your dog died. Hopefully they’re in a better place now.
I escaped an emotionally abusive father 7 years ago and left a toxic life of emotional abuse and abandonment 5 years ago when I moved away to another city. With the time and the distance I feel the full mesure of the damage and the pain. It comes crashing down on me every now and then... Now I have a therapist, I'm slowly healing and taking back my life. I wish that I could lend the strength I now have all to all who are trapped in a life of pain and abuse. You are not nothing, you are not alone.
I am so sorry about everything you have had to go through. I'm glad you were able to escape. Sending you so much healing.
Forgiving yourself is not easy, help me Lord❣️❣️❣️🕊️🕊️🕊️❣️❣️❣️
As I surviver this song hits hard. My ex always told me I was worthless. I listen to this song every time the memories get to be a little too real
It is hard when you deal with a narcissist....but... I will rise above his lies! This song has helped so much. I cried yes. But it helps to heal. Tears can help us heal if we rise from it to see the sun from those tears! Let's rise and take back our lives!
Even though you may have been abused and hurt, It was a reason! Jesus gave you the ability to take back your life so you may start again with him because He loves you! Give the life you took back from them and give it to Him, He knows what to do with it!❤❤
Love piano and her voice beautiful combination .❤
WOW… how these lyrics touch my core. I hope that everyone who feels this way listens to the words and understands that you are something and something wonderful. God doesn’t make crap.
I too have many of the same feelings you all have..: I hope before you reach my age you understand and rewrite the future and learn QUICKLY, I might add, to love yourself and if those around you can’t love you move the heck away from them. If they are your parents, please tell someone and get yourself some help to move away.
Prayers to you ALL.
I use to listen to this song while crying my eyes out, now I am listening to it and smiling ear to ear. It took a lot of time to heal and though I am not 100% I am better than I was. ♥️
I'm glad to hear you are doing better. There's always hope for a better tomorrow... - C.J. Davidson
This almost made me cry. So powerful. Just because ypu think I'm worthless dosnt mean I am. At least I didn't turn out like you.. Mother
Mother.....
I'm 15 now and I've been bullied all of my elementary school, this song hit close to my heart
Kido, in 4 years you won't see most of them every again. Focus on what makes you happy, and block out the noise.
Im am ten and ive never had any toxicity. But everyone who has is so strong.❤
You have made the book into something more than just beautiful, but something more grand and heartfelt, you have brought life into these pages, thank you.
Emily-Mae Bashford Whats the name of the book?😇
HALALOEIA its called A Daughter's Curse C.J. Davidson😊
awesome book too
That's amazing I'm super glad
“But I will forgive myself” wow ❤️:(
“I’ll write myself a brand new story with a happy end”
I was physically assaulted when I was in my high school. And then after two years I dared to fall in love and got myself broken. Once again. I almost gave up on my life. But then I came across your songs. And trust me, they changed my life. Your songs changed my life. Now I am happy. With the guy of my dreams. Thank you. For writing such amazing songs♥♥♥♥
And your so amazing so glad you found the right person
My dad sexually abused me . It started when I was only 2 months old until I was 12 years old. I let it ruin my life and couldn't let anyone get close to me. I met a man who is now my best friend that showed me that I'm something special. My dad can't take that away from me. I'm 58 years old and it still gets to me that he could do something that horrible to a 2 month old baby. That was the only life I knew that defined who I was. I felt dirty and no matter how hard I scrubbed I couldn't get clean and I was ashame of who I was. I was very shy and got teased alot in school. But now I'm somebody. I'm Keith's best friend and he is mine. We have a special bond between us and we are together all the time and have lived together just as best friends for 6 years now. So don't let anyone tell you that you are somebody because you are.
I meant to say don't let anyone tell you that you aren't somebody, cause you are.
To all who feel like they are lonely, or feel like no one cares, remember that God is there. He knows everything.
Thank you thank you thank you
I am crying so hard.
I come out of a horrible relationship where my ex treated me as if I was worthless and selfish and he mentally abused me for a year until I had the strength to run away.
This song is so relatable and emotional for me.
Thank you
..I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone who cares for you a lot.
Kylie Smith thank you
I had to learn to love myself again first, but I am sure I will find someone who respects me and lifts me up
Hopefully you already have that person in your life, or else I hope you find light and love in the world
You're welcome. I am still trying to find light in this world and i'm still trying to find my purpose. A lot of people have left me behind and a lot of people hid behind masks so I didn't see how evil they were. I think i'm just desperate for happiness.
Kylie Smith I hate to hear how you hurt, and are looking for a purpose. I truly believe that you will feel happiness, that you will find meaning. I just wish it was all more fair and people get what they truly deserve. I wish you the best, I wish you happiness and love.
I wish both of you happiness. You'll find it someday, I swear. One day, you'll find someone who cares for you. Both of you.
It was no accident this video/song found me today. The pain I sustained from abuse is immeasurable! While we can't change the past we can change our mindset, move on, and pray for those who have destroyed us. Until I know he has drawn his last breath I continue to walk on eggshells even though I am remarried and protected by a husband who worships the ground I walk on.
To all my fellow survivors
You are all amazingly, wonderfully strong & beautiful
better days await you on the other side of the nightmare
Let no one ever steal your sparkle ❤
I fuckin PRAY EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN ONE OF YALL WITNESAED THAT
Wow!! This is so much what I needed!!! My husband can never hurt me like he has in the past...
This is a great theme song for all people in abusive relationships! Thank you for allowing me to cry and let go.
This sounds so much like a character I’m writing about.
She was trapped under Egons thumb and finally she broke free and learned to heal from what she saw.
Will you try to get it published??
This song reminds me of my mom and its so satisfying to listen. Thank you.
I took my life back but am writing myself a happy ending no more settling for less and for any man without good intention's nor for any players liars or heartbreak. I know my worth and am maybe still single but am keeping it real till Jesus's timing comes my way to meet the right man who was made for me. Then happiness and truth and love and rainbows and slow dancing in the rain and good memories begin to unfold while our new beginning comes together full of so much trust and so much commitment and with kindness and for a love that will stand the test of time.
This whole song made me stronger. I lost a friend. No she wasn't a friend. She hurt me in more ways than one. This reminded me. But also helped me with a lot.
This song is permanently on my Home Screen , I listen each day as many times as I choose, I was told many times that I was nothing and will always be a nothing and no one will ever believe me or ever want me! …. I am Worth it , I like me, and I will always want me! I am worth it.. 😊
Believe in yourself. No one can ever tell who you are not. You are yourself, believe in your choices and don't let anyone make you feel less than you are. Forgive in your heart to the ones who have come in destructive to your inner self. No one knows you better than you. Keep faith in the lord for the ones God sent to open your eyes to the cruel people in this world. Be aware all people are not who they seem to be. God puts people in your path to show you the light. Not all are ment to stay. I guess I was put in her path to tell her about her personal savior. To bring her out of the bondage of abuse and I pray for her happiness of family and friends and happiness for tomorrow. Believe in who you are, you are beautiful, Jesus is by your side forever. Love your children and show them they to can get strength from Jesus. The answer to every question is in the new living word of God. Read Gods word and know the answer to be able to share to anyone who will listen. Jesus has become my best friend.
Yes You can be great again believe in yourself.
I wanted her. I prayed for us daily. Wait for God as she moves on. If it wasn't for them I would not be where I am today. Gave me a reason to rebuild my life, a reason to go back to college, a reason to think about my future. A reason to see myself in the 3rd person. To think about what I say. To consider other people's feelings. To relive the life of my nephew and the struggle everyone went through. A time to grow in my walk with the lord. A time to listen to music I had never heard. A time to emulate my thought in word. To release inner emotions held for years. To have the inspiration to open my shut in lonely lifestyle to new possibilities. To have someone at least say you are enough even though they were unsure of my honesty and devotion to being a good Christian. To have something to capture my thought and give me the willpower to avoid the alchohol and depression from the past. Thank you for making me dig deep into my heart and keep my mind active to stay stimulated for a challenging time for my education in accelerated classes. To make me think of others in response to my negative and positive reaction to a toxic person sending me hate mail. To ask for help from my church family to pray for me to stay sober to do my best for God and country. My boy scout training and to keep putting my best foot forward. All because I was denied something I wanted. To give me the strength to get up every day to keep on target to my promises and Goals. In the End the goal was not as much to get the girl. To stay morally strong and kind.
I was manipulated for years by someone I really trusted. Thank you for writing this song. It helps.
This song hits deep. After putting up with years of emotional and verbal abuse...I finally found the courage to leave. And it was hard starting over with two children. But I forgave myself for everything that i let him do to me. And now after 4 years I'm in a loving and healthy relationship.
Looking up at the sky... I think I see the start of a sunrise 😶😶😶 It's hard when u have to cry silently at night so that none can hear the sound of tears... (listening it at 1:10 am , 25th Sept, 2019)
I used to have to do that. You’ll be in a better situation eventually. Good luck.
This is so relevant to me, a daughter of a covert narcissist. I had a near death experience in May, 2021 at age 48, and afterward decided I was going to finally break free from this curse. 2021 was the worst year of my life, and I vowed to make a New Year Revolution (NOT RESOLUTION, Revolution) and turn my life 180. My theme for 2022 was "FREE At Last by Christmas 2022!" This was my daily affirmation and deadline for my breakaway. I worked hard all year to build up my credit to get an apartment, and by believing and affirming at least twice daily I would be "FREE at last by Christmas 2022!", I proved the theory of The Law of Attraction. Little did I know that GOD would provide the actual breakaway moment, not me. My narcissistic, privately abusive father passed away on December 4, 2022- "Freeing me At Last by Christmas 2022!" I found this song in late December and realized it had been a Godsend to confirm the very experience. I have been so free since he's been gone, free to actually breathe without fear of a tongue-lashing, as I called it. This man, whom I referred to as "Satan in the flesh", was as evil (behind closed doors, of course) as they ccome. He was indeed the "dwmon" left behind like the song says. I vowed on December 31, that "I survived, and tonight I am taking back MY life. And I'll show you, that I am NOT nothing!" Such a profound way to start the new edition of my life. I closed the cover on the first edition and the second is now MY SCRIPT, MY STORY, WRITTEN BY ME, not the character he portrayed me and expected me to be! Thank God! Blessings to all! I am truly "Blessed to be FREE in 2023!" My new motto!
I was in an abusive toxic relationship for two years.... it was a trauma bond... it led me to love the drugs and him...now I'm in recovery and almost 8 months clean. I survived!
He was the first man I loved...and for a time, he loved me too..
What made him stop, before I was 10 yrs old. I do not know.. but he had only ever criticised me..never encouraged me..
Violent & abusive...with no alcohol to blame. He didn't drink ..
I carried the pain all my life...tried to win his love at times till it dawned on me...that brick wall I was beating my head against..
Was only hurting me more..
But I loved him still.
He passed away late January this year, 2022.
It was traumatic for me...now 59. So for 58 & a half yrs I had beat my head against a brick wall..
When he wasn't beating me himself..
I loved him though.
This passed year I have done so much inner child healing work. Turned over every stone..
I finally feel whole and know I am worthy of being loved.
Loving others came easy to me..
Perhaps because I have loved a man whom treated his own child in a way no one should.
So now.. as this song says..
I forgive myself, I forgive him , I forgive the situation that caused so much pain..
When he left. He left on mother's day of all days, it destroyed my mother.. we didn't see it coming.
I was 13.. took it upon myself to look after my mother and younger brother. Hide them as well...I had to..because of him.
My mother broke in to tears at one point she asked me " honey, why does he treat you kids so badly, yet everyone else's like they're his own?"
I simply told her because I already knew ..don't know how but I did..
" Mum, he doesn't believe he deserves good kids, so he takes his rage out on us"..
I was 14 when I said that to her.
With that..I will close here..
To anyone whom reads this.
Please know.
Healing is possible.
What I have written here is mild compared to what really happened at the hands of my father .
Never give up, never give in.
Know you are in this world for a reason.
You're worthy of loving. Remember that.
I love you & I don't even know you.
But trust me. I do. I know the pain that comes with abuse.
I am okay now..
You will be too.
God bless you all. May love and healing be yours.
I pray my story here gives you hope & strength .
R.I.P. Mum R.I.P. Dad. 🙏♥️♥️
I get goosebumps whenever I listen to her voice.. just wow
Bhagyashree Mehrotra 😍😍
Beth, this is so incredibly, heart wrenchingly beautiful. I really didn't think I would find a song that meant as much to me as 2007 does but this has just blown me away. Thank you so so much for writing and creating amazing songs like this that make people like me feel safe and strong again. You're an incredible person.
Good luck. You deserve to be happy.
This is a song I used to help a friend who was dealing with...a toxic situation.. They played it for a long while. It is a song I used to help them understand. It is a song I used to help them keep going.
thank you
Twenty or more years of this , no more I need to be free .Thank you for this song