I am a lesbian and in a relationship. But I get a lot of intusive thoughts about men and that i will eventually end up with a man. It feels horrible and stressful. And it uses my past because when I was young, I used to force crushes on boys. And my ocd is saying things like: it's just a phase. You're not gay, you have to be bisexual or straight so you have to leave your partner. And i always have to check if im not feeling attracted to men.. It's really hard...
Don't worry u r not alone... I'm also lesbian and suffering from Sexual orientation OCD... please embrace ur beautiful sexual orientation what u feel from inside for girls And whatever your sexual orientation is, you will never feel guilt or sadness about it, and whatever thing you feel distressed about, understand that you r suffering from Sexual orientation ocd
I'm a gay man suffering from this horrible disorder for 3 years now and it's driving me insane. This is the very vid on YT that talks SO-OCD from a gay person's perspective, everywhere else mainly talks about straight people suffering from it. Thank you *tears running down my cheeks
I didn't even thought I was straight, but 'cause my ambient tought me that I should be straight, I thought I should act this way. So I "felt in love" with girls, not like we usually felt in love but as an idealization that I got inside to belong with the people around. Then my adolescense came and I got my first sexual atraction and it was with a boy, I got so scared and confused that was the first time I felt like that. I started to stay in denial and try to convince myself I was not gay, but the boys in my class were making jokes and playing between them and what was a play for them, to me was nice and I really liked it, but I couldn't tell them. Then with the pass of the time I get informed (but myself of course) about sexuality and finally accepted myself and stayed happy with me. But after my TOC which I'd had since I was a kido and I didn't even noticed, became harder than ever, and at a point took my sexuality and started to disturb me with it. Now I have intrusive thoughts and feelings in my body, that doesn't identify me, and sometimes I even thought "what If I was just confused and I'm not gay". But I know one thing, sexuality is not discovered from one day to another; and does not make you feel uncomfortable at the hard anxiety level constantly when you have the things clear (I mean when you know there's no problem being straight, bisexual or another sexuality), I think if those are your really feelings you know deep inside you that you like them otherwise you just feel not identify that way, and they don't make you do compulsions like think about it for minutes, stay repeating you are not something and doing patterns. I wrote these lines based in my experience, hope you all can have better days, it's hard to deal with this, don't give up, and keep your faith alive, there are days and days, but we can stay here for a long time.
SO-OCD is far more common in straight people than gay people, and maybe they decided to stick with the latter as an example to avoid backlash, because some people believe that HOCD has to do with homophobia but it does NOT. I struggle with HOCD and it doesn't go over well for people who don't understand what OCD is because they think I'm anti-gay and it's NOT true.
@@deadbeatjack2307 I don't think that everyone with HOCD is homophobic. I'm a lesbian who suffers from sexual orientation OCD, and I appreciated that they included gay people. Most resources I find focus on straight people who have SOOCD which I understand given that most people who have it are straight. However, it is nice when I find things that are more inclusive of gay people. I don't have the ability to go to therapy right now, and it is very rare for me to find anything on the internet from the perspective of gay people who have it. It can just feel a little isolating sometimes, so I appreciated that he acknowledged that people like me exist when there are already so many videos online about straight people with HOCD.
@@scoutstrong372You ever experience false atraction to the opposite sex? Does it feel real for you too? Have you ever felt it without anxiety? ( I just wanna know to relate)
@@Nicolas14215 It definitely always comes with a feeling of anxiety and worry that I'm attracted to men. I wouldn't say that it feels real for me. Deep down I know that it doesn't feel like actual attraction, but that doesn't stop my mind from spiraling and wondering if I'm wrong. Sometimes I will avoid videos that show men in a sexualized context because all I can do is try to test myself to see if I'm attracted to them. If I'm having a moment of doubting my sexuality I will look at pictures of men and pictures of women and compare my feelings for each so that I can "prove" my sexuality to myself. Sometimes I will also get anxiety if I'm not attracted to a woman that I feel I should be attracted to even though I know she just isn't really my type. I think that for me it personally stems from hearing others make comments about people being gay because it's "trendy" or "they just want attention". I've internalized these view points and worry that deep down I am just lying to myself about being gay even though it doesn't logically make sense.
I have no clue what my sexuality is right now (or for the last 10 years). I settled on bi, but I’m also not sure. I feel I might be gay or asexual, but I don’t know how to know for sure. Like, there’s no litmus test for sexual orientation. And don’t get me start about trying to figure out my gender sheesh. That’s another ball game. I have to get comfortable with not knowing. But how do I know what attractions are real? How do I know what attraction feels like? Does it feel different with different genders?
As a bi man, it's hard because ppl invalidate me so much. Back then i felt that every mistake i made must mean something. And dealing with OCD my whole life it's 10x worse
I feel you bro.I'm a straight guy but its been a year i got this OCD and its been a pure hell sometimes it brings my past like i had sexual thoughts and arousal about same sex for short period of time tho then it went away but its been a year my mind is going crazy on those past thoughts and false attractions of today now i know i'm comfortable being a hetero guy .man i only felt love for women and only women no same sex i view them as brothers but lately its been pure hell that i can't even explain but i hope you recover from it and will live happily tho people be saying shit don't listen to them G You can do this 🤝
Is it also common in sexual orientation OCD for a heterosexual boy to feel a strong desire to masrurbate while thinking of same sex scenario, not for testing or seeking reassurance but because the desire tells him that he is attracted to same sex and it is the truth. So, he acts upon the desire and masturbates while thinking of same sex scenario.
How can I tell if I don't like the intrusive sexual thoughts or if I just feel guilty for liking them? I cry when I think I might be gay, does that mean I'm not?
That means there is a lot of internalized homophobia and you're afraid you might be the thing that you don't like, that means you're aware that if you are, you will be shunned for it, abused, maybe even abandoned. You wanna know why we still have Pride Month? This is why. So we don't hate ourselves the way other people do. Weather you are or not, I think the most important thing is to learn to be more compassionate with yourself. Self hate is deep, deep rabbit hole. Find a way to love what you look at in the mirror. Being gay it's not the end of the world. When you surround yourself with loving, supportive people who accept you for you, it's actually pretty awesome to be proud of who you are.
@@PrincessChieswoll I don't get an erection when I look at men (at most I just feel a tingling in my genital area) but when I try to fantasize about a woman and an intrusive image of a man appears I get an erection, and on top of that I'm having difficulty in having an erection normally for women, it seems that I can only have one if I have an intrusive thought, this leaves me very confused because I can no longer say what I want or not.
@@angelicamanjarres3179I'm sorry, but I feel as though I got to step in here just to clarify things for this poor woman. As Dr. Patrick McGrath states in this video, and I'm just paraphrasing him " SO-OCD can manifest itself in the forms distraction, avoidance and reassurance seeking, and that these are symptoms of OCD in contrast to the normal fluctuations, doubts and experimentations that person may experience throughout their lifetime about their sexual orientation, and there is nothing wrong with that" OCD is a neurological anxiety disorder characterized by the pathological need to seek and perform repetitive reassurance seeking behaviors to alleviate the anxiety that stems from ego-dystonic intrusive thoughts. Questioning your orientation, or being in denial are not the same thing. While questioning one's orientation can stir up anxiety, it lacks the common OCD pattern as explained in this video by Dr Patrick McGrath. Example: Intrusive thought, anxiety, compulsion, relief, and repeat. Furthermore, Dr. Patrick McGrath explains that OCD is referred to as the "doubting disease" this is because no matter what answer you give it, OCD will never be satisfied with it and I still more doubt, and make a person do more compulsions. This is not internalized homophobia, while there are cases of SO-OCD where an individual can exhibit homophobic behaviors, this is often not the case, and therapists are quick to notice that and work on it with the patient. Most of the time, the opposite is true; it is people's own open mindedness and willingness to accept that they maybe of a different orientation than they originally thought, that keeps them stuck in an obsessive mental rut. This is because at the end of they day, their problems doesn't narrow down to questioning of their orientation, but rather a sexually themed pathological anxiety disorder.
I don't know how strange it is for a person to be straight their whole life and then you start having attraction to the same sex and the fear that it might just be a temporary thing and you'll eventually go back.
It must horrible to fear that change of sexuality. I have allways been on asexual spectrum. I used to identify as demisexual and bisexual, but I am now identify as asexual (aegosexual and adexsexual to be specific) and demiromantic and biromantic/panromantic, so I experiencing my sexuality have changed abit, but it was that much. I didnt fear that change, even if I start to feel sexual attractions I will not fear it, then it will just become a part of me, just like asexuality is part of me now. If you have those fears, I hope you will seek help from a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
It is correct to call it gender identity, not sexual orientation. It is correct to say that gay or lesbian is a sexual identity. There are only two human genders, male and female, but sexual identities are diverse. In the case of men, there are regular men, gay men, bi men, etc. In the case of women, there are regular women, lesbian women, bi women, etc. I think it should be categorized this way.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I am a lesbian and in a relationship. But I get a lot of intusive thoughts about men and that i will eventually end up with a man. It feels horrible and stressful. And it uses my past because when I was young, I used to force crushes on boys. And my ocd is saying things like: it's just a phase. You're not gay, you have to be bisexual or straight so you have to leave your partner. And i always have to check if im not feeling attracted to men.. It's really hard...
Im so sorry for you. I wish I could hug you right now 😭😭🩷
I’ve struggled too
Don't worry u r not alone... I'm also lesbian and suffering from Sexual orientation OCD... please embrace ur beautiful sexual orientation what u feel from inside for girls And whatever your sexual orientation is, you will never feel guilt or sadness about it, and whatever thing you feel distressed about, understand that you r suffering from Sexual orientation ocd
I'm a gay man suffering from this horrible disorder for 3 years now and it's driving me insane. This is the very vid on YT that talks SO-OCD from a gay person's perspective, everywhere else mainly talks about straight people suffering from it. Thank you *tears running down my cheeks
I didn't even thought I was straight, but 'cause my ambient tought me that I should be straight, I thought I should act this way. So I "felt in love" with girls, not like we usually felt in love but as an idealization that I got inside to belong with the people around. Then my adolescense came and I got my first sexual atraction and it was with a boy, I got so scared and confused that was the first time I felt like that. I started to stay in denial and try to convince myself I was not gay, but the boys in my class were making jokes and playing between them and what was a play for them, to me was nice and I really liked it, but I couldn't tell them. Then with the pass of the time I get informed (but myself of course) about sexuality and finally accepted myself and stayed happy with me. But after my TOC which I'd had since I was a kido and I didn't even noticed, became harder than ever, and at a point took my sexuality and started to disturb me with it. Now I have intrusive thoughts and feelings in my body, that doesn't identify me, and sometimes I even thought "what If I was just confused and I'm not gay".
But I know one thing, sexuality is not discovered from one day to another; and does not make you feel uncomfortable at the hard anxiety level constantly when you have the things clear (I mean when you know there's no problem being straight, bisexual or another sexuality), I think if those are your really feelings you know deep inside you that you like them otherwise you just feel not identify that way, and they don't make you do compulsions like think about it for minutes, stay repeating you are not something and doing patterns. I wrote these lines based in my experience, hope you all can have better days, it's hard to deal with this, don't give up, and keep your faith alive, there are days and days, but we can stay here for a long time.
Thank you so much for making this inclusive of gay people with sexual orientation ocd 🙏
SO-OCD is far more common in straight people than gay people, and maybe they decided to stick with the latter as an example to avoid backlash, because some people believe that HOCD has to do with homophobia but it does NOT. I struggle with HOCD and it doesn't go over well for people who don't understand what OCD is because they think I'm anti-gay and it's NOT true.
@@deadbeatjack2307 I don't think that everyone with HOCD is homophobic. I'm a lesbian who suffers from sexual orientation OCD, and I appreciated that they included gay people. Most resources I find focus on straight people who have SOOCD which I understand given that most people who have it are straight. However, it is nice when I find things that are more inclusive of gay people. I don't have the ability to go to therapy right now, and it is very rare for me to find anything on the internet from the perspective of gay people who have it. It can just feel a little isolating sometimes, so I appreciated that he acknowledged that people like me exist when there are already so many videos online about straight people with HOCD.
@@scoutstrong372You ever experience false atraction to the opposite sex? Does it feel real for you too? Have you ever felt it without anxiety? ( I just wanna know to relate)
@@Nicolas14215 It definitely always comes with a feeling of anxiety and worry that I'm attracted to men. I wouldn't say that it feels real for me. Deep down I know that it doesn't feel like actual attraction, but that doesn't stop my mind from spiraling and wondering if I'm wrong. Sometimes I will avoid videos that show men in a sexualized context because all I can do is try to test myself to see if I'm attracted to them. If I'm having a moment of doubting my sexuality I will look at pictures of men and pictures of women and compare my feelings for each so that I can "prove" my sexuality to myself. Sometimes I will also get anxiety if I'm not attracted to a woman that I feel I should be attracted to even though I know she just isn't really my type. I think that for me it personally stems from hearing others make comments about people being gay because it's "trendy" or "they just want attention". I've internalized these view points and worry that deep down I am just lying to myself about being gay even though it doesn't logically make sense.
@@scoutstrong372 How long have you been dealing with this?
I have no clue what my sexuality is right now (or for the last 10 years). I settled on bi, but I’m also not sure. I feel I might be gay or asexual, but I don’t know how to know for sure. Like, there’s no litmus test for sexual orientation. And don’t get me start about trying to figure out my gender sheesh. That’s another ball game. I have to get comfortable with not knowing. But how do I know what attractions are real? How do I know what attraction feels like? Does it feel different with different genders?
As a bi man, it's hard because ppl invalidate me so much. Back then i felt that every mistake i made must mean something. And dealing with OCD my whole life it's 10x worse
I feel you bro.I'm a straight guy but its been a year i got this OCD and its been a pure hell sometimes it brings my past like i had sexual thoughts and arousal about same sex for short period of time tho then it went away but its been a year my mind is going crazy on those past thoughts and false attractions of today now i know i'm comfortable being a hetero guy .man i only felt love for women and only women no same sex i view them as brothers but lately its been pure hell that i can't even explain but i hope you recover from it and will live happily tho people be saying shit don't listen to them G You can do this 🤝
Is it also common in sexual orientation OCD for a heterosexual boy to feel a strong desire to masrurbate while thinking of same sex scenario, not for testing or seeking reassurance but because the desire tells him that he is attracted to same sex and it is the truth. So, he acts upon the desire and masturbates while thinking of same sex scenario.
How can I tell if I don't like the intrusive sexual thoughts or if I just feel guilty for liking them? I cry when I think I might be gay, does that mean I'm not?
That means there is a lot of internalized homophobia and you're afraid you might be the thing that you don't like, that means you're aware that if you are, you will be shunned for it, abused, maybe even abandoned. You wanna know why we still have Pride Month? This is why. So we don't hate ourselves the way other people do. Weather you are or not, I think the most important thing is to learn to be more compassionate with yourself. Self hate is deep, deep rabbit hole. Find a way to love what you look at in the mirror. Being gay it's not the end of the world. When you surround yourself with loving, supportive people who accept you for you, it's actually pretty awesome to be proud of who you are.
@@angelicamanjarres3179 sorry but i don't want to be gay.
@@angelicamanjarres3179This is HOCD, not internalized homophobia. Those are two different things.
@@PrincessChieswoll I don't get an erection when I look at men (at most I just feel a tingling in my genital area) but when I try to fantasize about a woman and an intrusive image of a man appears I get an erection, and on top of that I'm having difficulty in having an erection normally for women, it seems that I can only have one if I have an intrusive thought, this leaves me very confused because I can no longer say what I want or not.
@@angelicamanjarres3179I'm sorry, but I feel as though I got to step in here just to clarify things for this poor woman. As Dr. Patrick McGrath states in this video, and I'm just paraphrasing him
" SO-OCD can manifest itself in the forms distraction, avoidance and reassurance seeking, and that these are symptoms of OCD in contrast to the normal fluctuations, doubts and experimentations that person may experience throughout their lifetime about their sexual orientation, and there is nothing wrong with that"
OCD is a neurological anxiety disorder characterized by the pathological need to seek and perform repetitive reassurance seeking behaviors to alleviate the anxiety that stems from ego-dystonic intrusive thoughts.
Questioning your orientation, or being in denial are not the same thing. While questioning one's orientation can stir up anxiety, it lacks the common OCD pattern as explained in this video by Dr Patrick McGrath.
Example:
Intrusive thought, anxiety, compulsion, relief, and repeat.
Furthermore, Dr. Patrick McGrath explains that OCD is referred to as the "doubting disease" this is because no matter what answer you give it, OCD will never be satisfied with it and I still more doubt, and make a person do more compulsions.
This is not internalized homophobia, while there are cases of SO-OCD where an individual can exhibit homophobic behaviors, this is often not the case, and therapists are quick to notice that and work on it with the patient. Most of the time, the opposite is true; it is people's own open mindedness and willingness to accept that they maybe of a different orientation than they originally thought, that keeps them stuck in an obsessive mental rut. This is because at the end of they day, their problems doesn't narrow down to questioning of their orientation, but rather a sexually themed pathological anxiety disorder.
I don't know how strange it is for a person to be straight their whole life and then you start having attraction to the same sex and the fear that it might just be a temporary thing and you'll eventually go back.
are u saying u dont believe in se ocd?
It must horrible to fear that change of sexuality. I have allways been on asexual spectrum. I used to identify as demisexual and bisexual, but I am now identify as asexual (aegosexual and adexsexual to be specific) and demiromantic and biromantic/panromantic, so I experiencing my sexuality have changed abit, but it was that much. I didnt fear that change, even if I start to feel sexual attractions I will not fear it, then it will just become a part of me, just like asexuality is part of me now.
If you have those fears, I hope you will seek help from a psychologist or a psychiatrist.
It is correct to call it gender identity, not sexual orientation. It is correct to say that gay or lesbian is a sexual identity. There are only two human genders, male and female, but sexual identities are diverse. In the case of men, there are regular men, gay men, bi men, etc. In the case of women, there are regular women, lesbian women, bi women, etc. I think it should be categorized this way.
I'm man same thing happened with me
Did you recovered brother
@@saranshpandey1132r u going through HOCD
Bhai dw you are not alone