How to Not Waste Your Life (ft. Oliver Burkeman)
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- Опубліковано 10 чер 2024
- Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list?
Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!? 🤯
This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller *Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals*, to help us get a handle on using time wisely.
In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more.
Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects.
Oliver’s newsletter:
www.oliverburkeman.com/the-im...
Four Thousand Weeks:
www.amazon.com/Four-Thousand-...
The Antidote:
www.amazon.com/Antidote-Happi...
0:00 | Introduction
3:22 | Our relationship with time
5:49 | A better way of looking at time
7:32 | “Strategic underachievement”
11:16 | How to stop people-pleasing
14:58 | Being a net positive at social events
18:45 | “Don’t try to change the world”
21:01 | Our toxic relationship with time and the art of “being present”
30:41 | “Effortless action”
32:53 | Buddhist influences on Oliver’s work
37:51 | Our primary misconception about time management
39:01 | Oliver’s final word of wisdom
My shit:
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Song: "Throne" by Bring Me The Horizon License ID: k8Gml6XVYyJ
lickd.lnk.to/rg0NtqID!Mark+Ma...
You'll fail every time if you try to manage time. You need to only manage your tasks and priorities. Time will take care of itself
I think it's more like carnivore vs vegan, some people will be most effective by hyper micromanaging their time to the minute, others better by throwing out their calendars and schedulers completely, while most of us will optimally be in the middle somewhere.
But... isn't that what managing time means?
@@TheSullenDude no. When you start with the idea of managing time, you'll try to fit in every task. You'll never be able to do justice to all. Instead of this start by prioritizing tasks, you'll allocate time accordingly and get the important things done. In general, it's the less important things that eat up your time
How else do you think Elon Musk can run 4-5 multi billion dollar companies at the same time. He takes 1-2 most important calls/meetings per company per day. Rest is delegated
@@sreenicam fair. Tricky how the brain works sometimes.
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you.
Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion."
~ Rumi
Thank you.
Exquisite.
pfff bulshits
Easily my favorite podcast, you can truly tell just how much effort is placed into these videos. Keep it up Mark! You're killing it in the youtube game.
This is the comment he hearts, not the above below it. Very telling.
Same here. This podcast was talking to my soul. Haha
This could easily be a "fuck your feelings" type of podcast...but Mark and crew really work hard to validate, not denigrate people's feelings about everything going on in their lives. I appreciate the hell out of that! It's irresponsible to ignore your feelings and only apply rationalization to everything and Mark gets that. He does a superb job at encouraging folks to confront those feelings and cut through the deep weeds of the negative ones that plague us and cause us to get anxious, depressed, feel lost. I have not found a better podcast that provides as much comfort. And I hold know illusions that Mark is trying to make people comfortable, rather trying to get people to understand how we can become our own parachutes and create more comfort around one hard truth - we're all pretty much the same and we're not alone. I honestly realized that when I'm a little pissed off and not sure why, it's because I haven't had my weekly dose of Manson-ology. Thanks guys! You are helping more people than you realize.
As Woody Allen says "Life is completely meaningless, everything and everything we do is just a distraction from the overwhelming fact that we'll be dead soon"
Ah is that why he's accused of sexual abuse
If you want to erase your social life say no to invites more than 3 times. You shouldn’t feel obligated because you’re so cool you’re going to make the party. You should feel obligated because they are your friends putting on an event and that takes work. Don’t go to every one of them but social time is important. Don’t turn weird.
Overcoming FOMO is a massive step which really does help!
'People pleasing' is a form of control. Control of people reactions. And pride. Thinking that 'Im the centre of the world, and if I say NO the universe collapse" When I started to notice that pattern in me it became so easy and natural to choose what I DO really want and deny what would be waste of my energy and golden time. And what really helps me is to remind myself that every time I say YES to something I don't want I say NO to myself.
I love that you're inviting dope authors, asking them dope questions we won't get anywhere else, and expand on your own thoughts and that's my review. Signed, your biggest fan
Four Thousand Weeks is my favorite book ever. I've read it about seven times. What a treat that Oliver Burkeman is on one of my favorite podcasts!
same! why do you reread it?
I have watched 5 nanoseconds of this video and can confirm it’s a certified mark manson classic!
This podcast is what I need.
I feel like there is a kind of pressure from society that we should always be on the run, go go go. And for me it’s been so difficult to just have a day where I don’t do anything because I would feel unproductive, and this is awful… because we have to remember we are human beings not human doings!
It’s great that you talk about prioritizing and remembering that some times we have to put more time into one thing and focus on that, rather than trying to do 100 things at the same time. (Like myself). Anyway thank you for this amazing podcast Mark ✌🏼
Mark Manson's podcast is a treasure trove of insights and wisdom. Each episode feels like striking gold, offering valuable perspectives and thought-provoking discussions. Truly a must-listen for anyone seeking deep and meaningful content.
I love how well you understand and describe the brazilian culture on either your blog or here. Most of us Brazilians lack this kind of awareness on the toxic side of our culture
Most of us Puerto Ricans aren’t at that stage yet either and you’re right he does describe a lot of modern civilizations that have been heavily influenced by this corruption.
I think he has a very stereotyped view about Brazil and its culture. Just because you spent a few years of your life as a young gringo part boy doesn’t mean you know about the society dynamics. Please stop spreading this kind of preconceived view about Latin America and look at the things made this continent like it is today, such as all the coups and overthrown governments that US supported.
Love this podcast and it really resonates in my current situation. Just like to add about this cool advice I came across in the scripture that talks about life and wisdom. As a believer, I found it really encouraging. It basically says, 'If you want to understand life better, listen up, think things through, ask questions, and search for wisdom like it's hidden treasure.' I found it helpful in my journey, and I hope it resonates with others.
Prv 2:2-6
Why was this so short!?! Please do another!! I could listen to both of you more😁 💞
I have a final tip. Don't buy Baldur's Gate 3.
Lmfao, so fucking true 😂😂😂
Hi Mark, Thank you for having Oliver Burkeman.
“Something is always going to have to give” even when you’re wrestling with values that are important to you is very true but difficult to swallow. I simply beat myself up for not being better! It’s helpful to hear!
Me too. Try letting go of something you think people expect and see if anyone even notices or dares to complain. For example, for women - try wearing less makeup until there's none. Decrease the obligatory behaviors that you think people require of you and see if they really do.
I completed your book "The Subtle Art" and I love to read the blogs. The podcast seems fresh with new guests and new ideas even though the basic value out of it is still the same which is "Do something you care about and find valuable", . Go on with it Mark, I am loving this series. Always helping me to correct some of my mistakes and be a better person everytime
Thank you for doing these podcasts. I listen to them on the way to work. They help me calm down and realize how little matters, but not in a misanthropic way. That's important because I have gone down that rabbit hole before and it brought me to some very dark places. Your ideas give me hope. Keep going.
Manson and Burkeman, holy moly! I love their different perspectives, and love where they come together too. The bit around people pleasers was great. Great job guys
I've been looking for content like this for a while now. Every video I watch is hasn't improved my life a bit but this podcast has brought some improvement in my life. Keep making these podcasts sir!
“Tend to be more comfortable with failing themselves…” oooph that slapped me in the face
Time is a man-made construct.
Be true to yourself, anything less is being fake.
Trying to please everyone pleases no one, most of all you.
The one and only podcast i listen to, i find them interesting and am able to relate to alot. The topics are thought provoking thank you ❤
That was really good! I view his take on finite time as a form of self compassion. The fact we have so many things we could do and we CHOOSE to do a few things that are very meaningful. This helps to not get stressed out so much about time and how many tasks we can accomplish, but moving with time in the present, not because we have to, but because we want to. In a way, this view on time relates to the philosophy the less options we have, the happier we are.
Good morning, Mark, I f**king love your books, your emails, and the way you bring f**k to the first word, in the first page in my personal dictionary. F**k is the only word that works for most of the events in all our lives, especially now. Not a day goes by that I don't say either outloud, or under my breath, "F**k this crap and F**k the idiots who began it."
Can't wait for your next F**k book.❤
Founding this podcast like finding a treasure. I'm watching this episode for 3rd time and believe it or not but everytime it's opening a deeper layer of wisdom to me.
Something that came to me after listening to this podcast is that I haven’t felt fully myself lately, in this weird place where I’ve changed but mainly in my head. I think the reason is that I was projecting my true self in the future so it was always out of reach. Thinking that when things are perfect then I’ll live fully. But realising that the only access point is now.
Excellent! Thank you both. I really enjoyed this deep, wise, and entertaining conversation. Love these authors, and always appreciate book recommendations.
I love the podcast. It’s a great length and is very easy to listen to. I feel almost as if I’m in the room there, being part of the discussion. I really admire how Mark can take a complex idea and dumb it done to a conversational manor. Please keep it coming and write more boos too!
I'm just amazed by your consistency.
Keep these videos coming!
I love the high quality, it lets you know that your getting high value information every episode
so glad i found your channel a few months ago. bought the books too. i love how succinct everything is. ty
This came at the perfect time for me. Thanks Mark.
Mark usually has good insights. I just signed up for the weekly newsletter and saw the podcast link so I watched the podcast. Good stuff.
I am a huge fan of your show! Read your book twice and constantly revisit as theres so much to put into practice. Please keep doing these!
Loving these videos from mark. Have always wanted more videos from mark and now that he has decided to show his face more, I am absolutely loving it.
Thank you for your powerful/important content. Keep going. I watch/share all your videos!
Needed to hear this! Managing time and not procrastinating does definitely help, but self-doubt is the killer! Just have to overcome it by working with time
really mark you're one of the best content creators that creates benefecial content and podcasts moreover thanks for your effort and I really appreciate what you're doing , man we need more of this type of people in our world , A huge shoutout to you my man
Please continue this format. I love it.
I'd love to see a collab with Dr. K. I do not want to get into a war with the two audiences by performing any comparisons, just thought it'd be an interesting conversation to hear!
yes!!
Every time I hear from Oliver - I reassure myself that my to do list will never end and I just need to do the important things. Fuck time and Fuck the do it all mentality!
The only podcast I'm commenting on! Your book had changed my life! Thank you!
Amazing podcast, love your videos and the insight on how to better manage whatever life can throw at you with a mindset not burdened by anxiety
Keep the content rolling. I look forward to hearing it everyday 💪💪
Mark does a nice job interviewing. The podcast was intellectually stimulating and applicable to life. 🎉
This is the best podcast ever! I love it so much! You can tell how much work you put into it. You're killing it, Mark! It's really changing my life!10/10🔥
Discovering your favorite author has a podcast and I can literally watch and listen to you everyday 🎊
I love this podcast. I have learned a lot from this. The guest always have amazing tips. thanks 👍
I just absolutely love these collabs! I loved Oliver Burkeman's book 'The Antidote'. You should totally do more of these!
Absolutely love this podcast, incredible wisdom, exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you
So glad I found your channel, appreciate your vids so much🙏🏽
I don't usually watch podcast videos on UA-cam.. but damn, Mark!! This is the second video I've watched straight. Thank you for bringing out insights that give me AHA moments. I'm learning a lot and realizing things I want to live by. More power!
This is officialy the best channel of 2023❤
This podcast is fabulous. Fxxxing fabulous. I needed this so much.
Thanks Mark, another great show. Keep them coming.
Amazing. I loved Four thousands weeks. Great book.
loved this episode. It was calming listening to a good conversation between upfront grown-ups, from time management to (unexpected) Buddhism 😊
Love it: *strategic underschievement* ❤
Thank you, Mark.
You are both wise and look badass. Perfect combo. Glad you met Oliver in a meditation retreat and kept in touch after that. He is a wise and self-deprecating person like you, no one you guys get along with besides your love for the wisdom of Buddhism.
Yes, thank you for giving a highlight to 4,000 weeks. And awesome book and much needed new ways of seeing the world which is a productive obsessed world and not knowing how to approach productivity and time.
You are doing fine work, Mark. Keep racking up these awesome interviews and I know your podcast will lit up fire
Listening back because after one episode I've already learned that your podcast is great! Keep it coming, please!
After many hours meditating over a few yrs I found this naturally in many ways. You can make your mind go blank and the body will continue to operate and complete tasks without "you" doing anything. It just gets on with a task that's kind of been downloaded and is in front of it, the hands and arms will move with no instruction kind of like putting something in the oven and checking on it in an hour and the dish is cooked, you don't stand there saying cook cook cook at the oven you leave it to get on with the job. When we see this you might find that any task you are doing is narrated over by the voice in the head about progress, what you are doing after etc etc and the task becomes a struggle or mistakes are made when the reality of the task that you want to do is that you can set the body off doing it and it will be done automatically as long as the mind knows how, thinking will only happen if needed.
A simple thought I use to find this state when starting a task is I say to myself "observe movement" and I'm reminded and I start watching my hands move and legs and start witnessing the task happen like some kind of supervisor.
It's a useful tool and I'm using it now cleaning the garage I've set 2hrs this morning to see what gets done in there with no objective and set off and see what happens. You will be surprised you won't just stand there still dribbling ironically if you do find yourself stood doing nothing it will be because the mind is running hard and you are stuck in a deep self conversation about something that happened 10yrs ago. The memory and imagination really is a cruel mistress for all it's uses in survival.
good point, our biology hasn't had time to catch up with the pace our lives are changing
I always wanted a garage.
I'm really enjoying the podcast. Thanks Mark ‼️
My favorite podcast, you released it in a great time and I have been taking advantage of it, 5 stars
I find it amazing how good quality are the words that Mark tell us without charging, his a great person!
Huge fan, love the youtube videos, and podcast, also finishing the book. Really inspiring way of thinking, keep up the amazing work
Wow, thank you for this!
Thanks for this.
Needed this reminder driving to work the day after Xmas having spent the holiday worrying about the work awaiting me.
I loved this video, very insightful.
Great way to ask for a comment 🙏 I've been following your videos for a while, keep up the good work 👊
Listening to Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks book again. Thanks for sharing this bit of thoughtful conversation with the world. (And thanks for keeping it relatively short!) Merry ******* Christmas to you, too!
What do you mean by “*****”. I’m sorry if I offended anyone, English isn’t my first language.
🔥 covering the importance of choosing where to spend your time, focus and meaning-making
Thanks for all your dad jokes and self-help! I watch daily now. You're awesome dude! Keep up the great work!
Dad jokes?
@JaysonT1 it was a reply to 02:59
I ve already read your 2 books. u r a god. u r a mentor. u r such an inspiration for new young authors.
your work on internet is huge.
Great podcast, full of useful insights and perspectives, let’s go!
I have a big time management problem, I’ll save this video for later
Great episode again Mark. I admire Oliver and really liked his Time Management for Mortals series in the Waking Up App. Oliver has one of those soothing voices that makes him really engaging and easy to listen to. I was left wanting more but I guess that fits with you not wanting to waste our time. I like his 3-4 hour rule and how that helps but that is likely related to the letting go of expectations and that you must keep getting things done in your 8 hours of work each day. Stoicism also has some similarities to Zen Buddhism around time. I look forward to your next episode. Cheers
Thank you 🫶🏾
I feel like the abundance of these kinda videos (40 mins in this case) are a pretty good way to waste a life.
I really like your podcast lengths. 40minutes on time management is way better then trudging through the 2 hour ones out there!
Such a great conversation loaded with meaningful takeaways. Discovered several new learnings from Oliver, while also hearing how many of Mark's concepts can get put into practice within this context. And I'm absolutely planning to become a big time "strategic underachiever"!
thank you! I struggled with time management the last couple of weeks and didt know what new route to take
Farck, where was this message 30 years ago. I've always struggled with the boundary between service and people pleasing, which even in itself is a diversion from dealing with reality. Your explanation on people pleasing is the most articulate, simple and actionable I have ever heard
Enjoyed this conversation as I strive to align my time with my values. Baby steps f progress and no more 20 item task lists. Ai always appreciate your personal approach to the topic, Mark. I feel like I am sititng in the living room with a cup of coffee and part of the conversation.
I thing is i like most the niche gap between the new guest like every guest is talking some new you make not for just make something random and upload it
Thank you❤
love from india❤
Thanks so much for all the good advice and the "no f*cks wasted" attitude. 🤓
Great episode, Mark!
Not the backsound Throne~Bmth got me vibing with the video.
Great information. I am definitely hooked!❤❤
Great episode. Thanks!
A damn fine episode chaps, thank you
This is a great podcast! You are an inspiration and motivate me every day to not give a fuck! It is truly a better way to live! Keep up the great work and have an awesome 2024!
I needed this video in my life. Thanks for sharing!!
15:55 thats a really good mindset to have
Great content.
You and the algorithm are reading my mind
Loving your stuff
For sure my most favorite podcast! Mark speaks out the topics as they are and also in a language I can relate to. I love listening to him and to his guests also. This helps me to think about my life, my suffering and where I want to go...and in fact not giving so much damn f*ck. I also receive the newsletter. Thanks for inspiration, Mark! Cheers, Chris from Germany - where you are allowed to publicly say the word "F*CK" 😂