Why You’re Being Undermined at Work (And How to Stop It)
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- Опубліковано 11 кві 2022
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You may be feeling like your work is never appreciated and that you're always being undermined. It doesn't have to be this way!
In this video, I'll share why you're being undermined, how to identify an underminer, and what to do about it.
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Ben, what is the difference between "to undermine someone" and "to sabotage someone" ?
It's so exhausting dealing with people who do this smh
Always cover your ass in everything! No matter what it is. I been thru hell with one manager, and they replaces him with someone worse
I stay confident,focussed,complete my tasks,be professional
In today's work environment there is no such thing as "professional", children pretending to be adults.
if my work is so bad why do they keep me
I have lost promotions because managers have made up lies. Even tho alls I ever did was help them without over stepping
You're a great communicator. Thank you.
It's especially frustrating when you're undermined by males in a male dominated field, while other men that do exactly what you do, don't get any negative attention whatsoever. It's extremely toxic, and it makes it seem like you're not wanted or respected in the organization. All the while, the organization is "inclusive to women" on paper but the men undermine you consistently. You can't necessarily prove it - but you feel it!
My exact experience!
I think I have a blocker/saboteur. He says no to all my ideas, when I complete my task he says "oh we got rid of that feature" knowing damn well they did not remove it. I'm just not allowed to do anything! He will tell me the project is changing directions, then complain i'm not doing relevant work anymore. I am roughly the project manager, I have tried to redirect us several times, to which he just says no. Like, i'm sorry? Or I suggest a great idea, he says no, and then next week he brings it up and team loves it. It's crazy making.
I'm dealing with a blocker as well.
Unfortunately my manager is a young manager (female) he's about 20 yrs older than her & 17 yrs younger than me. I've seen him outright lie to her several times & he has undermined my work gotten in my way of e doing my work. There was 1 incident where he was a real jerk twds me in front of another coworker she gave him a serious look after I went on about doing other work he then cornered me & said "I'm sorry if I made you feel inferior" he said it twice in that conversation which I flat out told him both times he said it, "no one here has that kind of power over me" he replied "well that's good" then kind if kept blustering along with more words that really meant nothing.
Truth is no one at my job does have that kind of power with me so I was puzzled why he even said that why it even came up.
Today he did something that I got accused of doing & I wasn't even there this is not the 1st time that's happened.
I'm starting to get the feeling he does feel threatened by me in some way which puzzles me because I'm just there to do a job & there's enough work for all of us to do.
I've also noticed any time I'm talking to my manager he always has to interrupt almost like it's a child competing for a parents attention it's getting to the point it's just rude but she's young & either doesn't want to deal with it or doesn't know how.
I genuinely like my manager & I think he does too it is starting to make me think he feels some sort of competition about it.
I also really noticed today that when she was around he was more helpful about work but when she wasn't he slacked off. He may have did this before however today it was really obvious to me.
I found it helpful to strip away emotion with these toxic coworkers and go pure grey rock logic. Internally wish them well and remain grounded.
Some of them are a lost cause in such an incompatible fit - that's fine, move on. Life isn't permanent, nor is the toxic situation, so don't stress it. I think many often tolerate horrible things forgetting we actually don't live forever and it's simply a poor investment of our limited lifetime and energy to settle with these things with no alternative paths in mind. When it's really bad disrupting sleep, change is the top priority and way more natural and realistic than modern societal thinking tends to shy away from.
We assert our boundaries, clarify the situation, speak our authentic peace - but we can't manage someone else's emotions and if they have a failure to do their part of being mature most of the time, then it's their problem no matter how much they try to deny their lack of self-control as if it is in the hands of everyone else.
The owner is 100% behind the underminer. Even though I have done nothing different the whole powerplay has swung out of control. Got to the point where nobody at the company will even listen to me let alone obey my orders. My work has been outsourced or thrown away. Every boundary I have tried to set has been blasted out of existence.
Thank you for these tips Benjamin!
My colleague has a habit of working overtime and working weekends, totally unpaid. With the recent waves of layoffs, she did her agreed tasks and went over and did mine too, over a weekend. She keeps butting into my share of workload, and it’s not even funny. She promotes herself aggressively in front of managers and keeps me out of meetings, things just fly on top of my head, discussions about important projects are being held without me, we are only 2 ppl in this team, so she is excluding me on purpose. We don’t really have a manager, not directly anyway.
I’ve decided to pursue a senior position in a different department, whilst asking for a pay rise. I lost faith in my current dept., there is no transparency nor fairplay. And we are not in sales. We work with internal ppl.
We always have a choice, to move or stay in a toxic environment. I’ll go where I am needed and people respect and acknowledge my expertise. Not where I do a whole bunch of “shadow work” and my colleague collects all the prizes and recognition as if she did it all by herself.
If it helps; the truth always surfaces. I've seen it with THAT type of employee.
Years ago someone came into the company. I had her number the minute I (unfortunately) met her. I threw on my "Miss America smile" and welcomed her to the "team". After she joined; I was told from outsiders in the same business she would not last. It was said she'd come in; screw up and leave. The truth always prevails. She was FIRED at one point.
Leave. It's clear the company has become a clown show and is not interested in making money, just bullshitting.
yeah mate, leave,lol.
So why are they even a manager if they are being taught by employees or depending on them? “FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT.” 😁🤨🤥🙄
Because managers work with people. ICs work with items primarily. The skill sets are complimentary but not interchangeable
Their friend gave them the job.Doesnt mean he can do it.
This is why people need to be put in check at work for not working with people rather than working against them. I have found myself dealing with these types of people and these situations. Especially when you know that an organization is suppose to be operating like a fine tuned machine. But when people for some reason stop doing their job and you wind up getting caught up in it because of it, that’s a problem. A problem that needs to be dealt with right away. Do not overlook this situation and find out as soon as possible as to who is
ultimately responsible for the upkeep and availability of the equipment. And if keys are involved make sure they are available for the equipment and to the drivers involved. No one
should be held up because of missing keys or equipment. Clearly the drivers are not responsible as they do not work in the office. So stop blaming them and setting them up for failure.
Great video thanks
good advice
thanks, Ali!
Ben, what is the difference between "to undermine someone" and "to sabotage someone" ?
See this is too much!!!! I would just go to HR. I don’t have time for all of this!!
Hi Ben, what is the difference between undermine someone and sabotage someone?
mine one is a blocker
I go unblock
When it comes to underminers do they target a specific co worker or many colleagues?
It can be both.. typically if they undermine on person, it’s because they’re threatened by that individual (or generally insecure). If they undermine a group of people, it’s usually a lack of social awareness and entitlement.
How should a person interview for another company if they were undermined by their former colleague and ambushed by the HR department?
Can a boss secretly send a colleague to undermine you and help you get fired?
Are you saying how would you respond in an interview if asked about your boss? I’d just keep it high level and positive… something like “oh yeah, I’m really looking for a new job because I’m wanting a company that better fits my values and work culture expectations”
Supervisors usually aren’t that smart in my experience. They can try to get people to work against you by talking poorly about you, making you the bad guy, etc. but it’s usually not a “light switch” kind of thing. It usually is months or years of putting colleagues against you
I see why she was so jealous of me
Well, was dealing with an underminer and looped in my supervisor and the head of department but when I confronted the issue directly with the underminer hoping that my supervisor and hod would have my back, they actually sided with the underminer and I ended up being one person against like 5 people. I've felt completely undermined by my supervisor as well and I thought I'd let it go but it's been bothering me and has affected my productivity. Now I'm considering asking for a meeting with my supervisor and the HOD and let them know that I felt completely unsupported and thrown under the bus. Is that a good idea? If so, How would you recommend I go about it without getting emotional because I have been feeling extremely frustrated.
Take a good look at yourself first and improve yourself in everything you can do and do your job too the best of your abilities and ride it out while you're planning your escape! Clean up your resume and cover letter and start applying for other jobs where you can direct your skills! Do NOT 🚫 bring up the fact that your former employer treated you unfairly at your job interviews when you get them! Get over it and get out of your situation but don't be too hasty as you may put yourself in a worse situation with a job you dislike even more! With that being said don't don't get lazy and get yourself motivated and get out of your situation ASAP because it probably won't improve!
@@whiteviper1979 thank you so much!
Leave. It's clear the company has become a clown show and is not interested in making money, just bullshitting. The ironworks company I work for became like this. The trades have become a woke joke. I mentally checked out, waiting for them to get tired of me so I can get sweet unemployment. Then, look for another job. There is no such thing as a "career" anymore or loyalty. Grab what you can take.
I have all those threads in one individual 🥲