I gave flowers to my husband today and his reaction made me realize I might be a bad wife.
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Story Name: I gave flowers to my husband today and his reaction made me realize I might be a bad wife.
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rest of this post; Now I'm thinking back and I don't do nearly as much for him compared to what he does for me in every way, and my friends are 100% right, romantically he kicks my ass. I just feel absolutely terrible because I love him more than anything. He is my world and I could not even think of myself without him. He is an amaizing husband, an even better father and mostly, he is my best friend. But I guess I don't show him how much I appreciate him and he doesn't know how much I love him and that makes me so sad. And then that makes me feel even worse because I'm thinking of myself instead of him.
Now I'm here in bed, I can't sleep thinking about this, I dont know if I should talk to him about it or if I should just quietly try to be better and show him how much I appreciate him.
Just do better....
Maybe my husband is different but if I gave him flowers he would tell me how much time he spent working for the said flowers where as if I make him a meal and cheer him on for how hard he works he looks at me like I hung the moon. Maybe my hubby is different than most but why not give what he wants. Let’s be honest he wants fun times in the bedroom.
@@rachelcrawford1977Men don't always just want sex. They want to be appreciated.
@@naliniwilliams1646 yes, but also talk to your partner, as people aren't psychic, and maybe you'll end up going in the wrong direction without the conversation. Especially use this situation as the talking point, and explain that you wish to see more reactions like this, of honest happiness out of them, and ask if there's anything you can do to improve at seeing those reactions out of them. God, I wish I was this emotionally aware normally, I sound way better at social skills here than in person, definitely 100% more sappy, but that's not a bad thing here.
Men from what I've heard and seen typically are shown less love and compassion than women. Society has made it a massive deal that men need to buy women flowers, but there has been almost no push for women to buy men flowers.
Society also expects men to be the ones doing big romantic gestures.
I personally couldn't care less about dead flowers, though a live plant is a wonderful gift. I do however make a point to buy my fiance flowers a couple times a year, because seeing his face light up when I walk in the door with them makes my day.
the fact that she’s willing to change and is even accepting her flaws shows that she’s not a “terrible” wife.
I mean she definitely sucked before but her being able to see her flaws and realizing the effect it has and knowing she was in the wrong
Means she is already past the first step when it comes to change
@@steampunkenDoctorI feel like saying she sucked before is a stretch, she didn’t know that her husband would appreciate the gesture that much. It’s not common sense to realize that because people express their love and gratitude in different ways and part of a relationship is communicating clearly how you give and receive affection. She did something kind for her partner that she wasn’t sure he would appreciate and now knows that he greatly appreciates similar displays of affection. She wasn’t a bad person to start with and as far as the story goes there aren’t any massive issues in their relationship, so this display of affection is simply a kind gesture that meant more to her partner than she thought.
@@adamshort6241 well I mean it does sorta suck
But i do agree with you that people have different love languages and she just didn’t realize
@@adamshort6241Saying she sucked is not a stretch in the slightest. There is a huge amount of women that don't truly appreciate the gestures that men often give to women. Most women just expect it as a normality. Men tend to appreciate kind gestures much more because most men don't get many impromptu kind gestures from anyone. I still remember the time I was 18 years old when I helped an older woman reach something on a high shelf in the store (I'm 6'1" tall) and she said "you are an incredible young man, I hope you find a woman who appreciates all you have to offer." It was a very kind thing for her to say considering all I did was help someone who clearly needed it. That was 15 years ago.
@@MrZerk815 and now you’re on the internet generalizing women like you know them all lol. Guess she was wrong about you
A bad wife wouldn't care no matter what. So no, that woman is not a bad wife.
Just because she didn’t cry over the flowers doesn’t mean she doesn’t show she likes them
She was oblivious to the fact but once she learned she wanted to change they will be fine
@@johnfijnvandraat yea but the comment was wrong
I get it know
This is actually so wholesome. Not everybody is naturally romantic or even emotional, like op, but she is still self aware and loves her husband enough to change.
Exactly
Most men never get flowers, most women never think to get them flowers, you're doing better than a lot of couples
I wish my gf would buy me flowers, but I don't want to tell her I want to, I wish that she will give me because she wants to
90% of the time, the first set of flowers a man will get will be on his casket
They used to give pies. And diner. And sandwitches.
But now this is all 'toxic' and 'patriarcal' or other buzzword
@@ianesgrecia8568 If you're wife is a housewife that's all pretty much expected of her, so it's not a gift. If she wants to make you something as a gift, no matter what she dose for work then it's a gift. But judging on how you don't seem to understand why it's toxic to have every women be a house wife then I assume you're not getting a girlfriend or wife anytime soon
@@shigor6700 if you can, ask one of her friends to suggest it to her, if it's coming from a friend it'll put the idea in her mind and it'll be her decision if she get's them for you or not
Nah, Op you're not a bad wife. The fact that you care shows how good of a wife you are. You were sweet enough to get him flowers because you care, and the fact that you don't do it often makes when you do extend a romantic gesture matter that much more.
Good for her for reflecting and seeing ways she can improve. Women just aren’t really taught how to be romantic to or partner so it’s good that people are looking for ways to break the stereotype and realize everyone deserves to be spoiled. Now you can catch up on all the cute romance stuff for ya mans 🥰🥰🥰
My husband gets off on asking me to bully him and speak down to him and it is the most frustratingly difficult thing to do without bursting into laughter. I am unintentionally mean most of the time to others through being blunt, but with him? I always think harder on trying to be kind so sometimes he purposely does things to make me mad to get mean mugged and have me use that exasperated tone with him. THEN, he will jump in and prevent me from fixing the mess he left out to get the reaction, practically beaming as he finally does the job I asked him to all so he can hear me sound annoyed.
He is a weirdo, he's my weirdo, but definately a weirdo.
😂😂😂
Absolutely not. Men barely ever get compliments, small gifts, or romantic gestures. He just didn't really know how to react.
And they normally only get flowers once and that is their funeral
And the worst holiday for men is coming up soon and that is Father's Day where we get the absolute worst gifts in the universe
@@ohdamnmanhuh how so? My mom got my dad an ipad last year
@@abdullagaming1612your mom is the goat for that ngl
@@ZekeThesamurai nah they do that with THEIR OWN MONEY
I love the husbands response that is such a green flag and i love it
I wouldn't say this is a sign of someone being a bad wife. Most men get thier first bouquet of flowers at thuer funeral. So its a MONUMENTAL thing for men to get flowers or anything of the like from thier S/O. It's so rare that to men its not even a requirement of a good wife, but a sign of a great one. Hope you continue prove him right.
So the fact she realized it she is already a head of most. So her put forth the effort will make everyones life in that house better. The partner there child will have will be su much better as well.
How could she be a bad partner if she sees a problem and is going to do better and fix it
You’re not a terrible wife! because if he loves you as much as you say you’re obviously doing something right! But take that as a learning lesson and choose to be more thoughtful in the future. The best thing we can do for ourselves is grow, especially in our relationships, and in this moment you have the opportunity to grow!
You’re not a terrible wife, you just have room for improvement like everyone does! Think about this realization and try to improve to be better, but remember your husband married and loves you for a reason!
Most men don't get flowers till their funeral I think your husband was just very surprised
Not giving someone flower doesn't make one a bad partner, but sometimes it's good to show such gestures.
I don't think th flowers were really the point as much as she doesn't show him she loves and appreciates him (aside from flat out saying she loves him and physical affection I assume but the specifics of that weren't mentioned)
I'm happy you're turning this around and id suggest doing more romantic things like this, like getting his favorite candy
I don't think she needs to feel bad about it, but this is certainly a teaching moment. It would probably be good for her to speak with her husband about how he would like to be pampered. She doesn't have to, though. Trying things and seeing what he likes can also be very sweet.
Awwwww. Hey, acknowledgement is the first step in accountability! At least now you KNOW that you can do better! Keep getting that man some flowers. Shower him with appreciation. Its so easy to take for granted what's always there and a lot of people don't realize it until what's always there is gone. You still have time.
I dont think shes a bad wife but she should talk to him because he clearly enjoys when she puts on romantic efforts as well.
At least you acknowledge it, and decided that you need to change, some people don’t realize it till it’s too late
I have been married for a very long time and I have learned that it's important to show your love. The best way is a hug. Take time each day to just giving him a hug. No reason for it just walk up an hug him.❤
It's not too late, now that you realized your actions you can start bettering yourself for him ☺️
Instead of feeling bad, feel encouraged that you discovered this pattern and found a way to show him more appreciation. Now that shes more conscious of it, she can work on it to show him more romance. I dont think this makes you a bad person, some people naturally show love in certain ways like verbal compliments, or giving gifts, acts of service (the whole love language thing). But if something isnt that important to you its harder to recognize how important it might be to your partner. Its not because you dont care. But becoming aware of your partners love language can be a really great way of making them feel loved and strengthening your relationship.
It's good to recognize these kinds of things, because now you can try to change it and show him how much you love him
I, many years ago, read that men like getting flowers, so I bought some for my husband. He asked me why so I told him I read it somewhere. He told me men don't get flowers and never to do that again....lol
that's a little iffy, but some men don't think about the implications of actions like that. like... women think about the why's of actions, "i got you flowers because i wanted to make *you* feel happy" but guys usually just think about the physical uses of those physical gestures :)
@@ninikins5751 True and false. We appreciate both equally, tend to be more excited about practical things though. Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to give a man flowers for once - he'll make sure you know if he likes them or not.
Personally, I definitely prefer more practical gifts, especially seeing as I have a visual impairment, but receiving flowers from the woman I love would definitely not be unwelcome
Find you're love language and express it that way to you're husband very simple😊
You might have seemed like a bad wife but you are learning your mistakes and taking your partners feelings into account for future interactions. You're not a bad wife you're a person who is learning to be the person your partner needs you to be because you love them.
Thank you.
People show love in different ways.
Communication is key.
Tell him that his reaction took you aback and had you wondering if you communicate how much you love him to him in a way he understands.
This reminded me about one story where a girl told her husband about a small way of saying i love you covertly by squeezing her hand three times when they hold hands and the husband started doing a lot of signs of three. Like forehead kisses, touches on her shoulder. In bed poking her toes with his toes in threes.
Shows of affection doesnt equate bigger gesture to bigger feelings.
And for the love of god, dont start out with "we need to talk"
People show love in different ways
Yes but people understand love in different ways too that's why communication is key
@@listener709 Listening and understanding is key. Communication is just a way to deliver both. I've learned women tend not to listen.
You’re not a bad wife, you just didn’t know how to express love in a way that your husband would appreciate. It’s not too late to become a better partner!
Had the same thing happen to me. 3 years in our relationship I realized I had never known his feelings. Started asking him how he was feeling and other emotional things. He broke down that he'd never had someone valued him enough to ask about his mental health. Now almost every day I make sure to ask him if he wants time talk about his emotions.
Lady’s start taking notes from this woman. About time someone can see just how much one sweet gift can actually make your boyfriend or husband feel more loved . This small gesture can literally make your relationship grow stronger
So let me explain this one. It's a dude thing. I know, we say this a lot, but let's actually break this down a bit. We live in a society that for decades expected the man to be everything. Protector, sole bread winner, covers all costs for date nights, etc. It's so I grained in us as men, so were used to taking the initiative, going out and getting random things for the lovely ladies in our lives, romantic gestures, and we have it happen to us so rarely that when our wives, girlfriends etc. surprise with similar treatment it genuinely hits home. And believe me he knows you love him. He's known since you guys been married.
As someone who hoped in vain that their efforts would be acknowledged by their spouse all the way to the divorce, (I was by no means perfect or as romantic, but I tried) I guarantee you, you have cleared any possible doubt in his mind. Men, honestly, don't need grand to dos or heavy romance. Those flowers were peak romance for him. They gave him all the indication he needed that he wasn't putting in effort for nothing. That you notice everything that he does. And you gave him his child, who he loves. All his efforts were rewarded by a simple gesture of you seeing him for him. He knows full well that you love him, even without them. He knows you. He doesn't do those things for a reward, he does them because of his love. But it is a wonderful emotional feeling to be noticed and acknowledged.
Men don't ever usually get flowers unless it is at their or their wife's funerals. I think every man should get a bouquet of flowers, from their special love one every once in a while. If the woman gets a bouquet of flowers every once in a while, then the man should too.
Actions speak louder than words.At least you know that you have been in the wrong and will put in more effort.Show him that you care❤
First of you have a great friend that was honest with you! Secondly I don't think your a terrible partner. I think you probably have different love languages. And if yours isnt gifts (flowers, choosing ect) it's not surprising that you don't get super emotional over it. However from what we know it sounds like your hubbys love language is gifts. So now you should lean into that love him that way.
So you've noticed the problem.
you now know you need to cherish your husband.
I would honestly have a deep discussion about him and explain what's going on with you and how it pertains to him l.
see if he can't maybe give you some ideas of what he would like you to do in the future to express your love and caring to him, in a way that he really gets it.
For god sakes just talk to each other.
Most men don’t get flowers until they die, he was probably shocked she got him any because it’s not a typical gift for men.
Most men would love to receive flowers.
I got my partner flowers a few years ago and he was giddy all day. He loved them. It’s was sweet.
@@unscmistressgaming1132 everyone deserves flowers
Aww he's just glad that you thought of him it's normale for a man to cry or a women to cry when there happy that some one thought of them❤
He seems to love and appreciate you, so just do better, you're aware now, it would be worse if you knew and didn't change anything. So not bad just all humans make mistakes so I'd just do better!!
After 5 months of saving, i bought a 500€ Lego i don't know what special edition Lord of the Ring and made him his "passeport" from the lego boutique... Just like that, cause i felt like it.
He cried so much, he couldn't breath 😅
1hour later, 2 of his best friends were home to see and play with it 😂
What?! That's so cute omg. You got him Legos and he called his bros over to play. Power move right there gurl, so sweet of ya. Probably made his whole week.
Some people suck at gift giving. Idk if its my neurodivergence or something, but rarely do I ever know what to get my husband that feels worthy of his awesomeness. 😢
Lol just ask him hun. OOO my favorite thing to do is make little notes of things my loved ones like or need. Like a few weeks ago my mom was helping me look for something in the store and she started looking for something COMPLETELY different; mascara. So on mothers day i got her a really fancy quality mascara from a brand i know she likes. I do this with people who come shopping with me too😅 if they pick something up and actually look at, i ask them what intrigues them about it or if they're gonna buy it. A lot of times, people will either pick up and tinker with something they like but don't need OR they want but don't have enough money for. Just a hint 😊 gift giving is pretty nerve wracking tho. Every time i give a gift, all that goes through my head when its being opened is that kid unwrapping the avocado 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i want to avoid that if possible.
That's where one stops. Thinking guiltily about it and just goes out of their way to get more flowers do things their partner enjoys just out of the blue. Just that small shit to make them happy
Talk to him, and especially explain that you want to see that side more and need help in knowing what direction that means taking, be it more thoughtful gifts, or date nights, or what have you. People aren't psychic, and conversations like this are needed. Just tge knowledge you want to improve yourself to see him happy like that more often may lead him to crying tho, fair warning, us guys don't get that knowledge often if ever, expect hugs and declarations of love during and after crying.
The good thing is Op realizing her issue and working to be a better wife. If she learned nothing from that experience, she really is a bad wife
She doesn’t get emotional because getting gifts is the norm
While for most guys they get nothing
Similar for compliments
My boyfriend doesn't like flowers. He likes my food. So whenever I can (long distance) I put in extra effort to make something special for him. Yesterday he had to go back home and I made him special sandwiches for his long train ride. In December when I visited I brought a lasagna with me to the place he was studying at. But when I visit him at home he has food ready and on the table for us right as I arrive.
Honestly, if she wasn’t already self-flagellating/genuinely committed to doing better, I would have a lot harsher of an opinion. But I get it - I’m a real shit gift giver - I have to put in genuine effort and sometimes I knock it out of the park and other times it’s pretty lack luster. Recently I scared my mom by ordering her some jelly melts for Mother’s Day (they’re an easier to clean version of wax melts) from the UK and she was terrified to open an international package in her name 😂 But all you can do in these situations is be aware that you have room to grow and try to get better with it
You’ve come to expect it but he is the complete opposite and expects nothing in return so the first jester you make brings overwhelming happiness.
You arent an AH, just someone who couldnt see a way they fell short. You havent hurt him but could do more as things stand. Do more thpughtfull things for and with him moving forward and things will be just fine
Calling yourself a bad wife isn't accurate I think this was an opportunity that showed that you could be a better wife. When it comes to a 'bad' spouse I tend to think cheaters, abusers, or full-blown narcissists. You're more so kicking a bad habit which is letting day-to-day stuff get in-between you and your Spouse and this realization sounds like the first step to kicking that habit.
I think it’s more of a thing that guys don’t normally receive gifts likes flowers so when they do it’s extremely touching meanwhile flowers are advertised to women so it’s not totally uncommon to receive them for different events or holidays
No nta just don't stop now you've started that would be worse than never starting at all
I agree but it’s not a AITA question
@@eeee7950 lmao 🤣😂 woops lol
I like to get a butter finger for my husband every now and then. He gets so excited every time
It was an unexpected gift that came from the heart at a moment where he was the most tender. Yes, I mean it was a wonderful show of affection 100%. So I can totally understand why he was so emotional
Not a terrible wife. He married you for a reason right :D there is definitely room for improvement but same with all people.
This whole thing is kinda about love languages he gives gifts for affection and how he feels it best, so for me not the a hole but try doing things that works with his love language not just your own
It is her fault
@@user-kf1ed4if4g no? She didn't know, nor even think that was a possibility. It's not the fault of one who is unaware, as they can't know what they don't know. Now she does know, and I bet she'll continue, or at least talk with him about the kinds of gifts he'd like. She ain't bad, just misguided by society, and ready to make an effort to change. That makes her good, not bad. A bad person would just ignore it and never change their actions at all, believing some twisted version their mind makes up.
Not too late to change
i would say try to put more effort in and start doing those things to make him happy and start appreciating the things he gets you more
It seems like regardless your husband still loves you. And you can now take
This opportunity to be a better wife he will live even more, by continuing to reciprocate his romantic gestures with one’s of your own
When I gave flowers to my boyfriend he gifted them to his mother right away... just a "thanks, is the first time that someone gets me flowers, my mom liked them more"...
It hurt my soul, but I guess it's normal(?
Not normal. If you don’t talk to him about this there is going to be some “incest” while you’re away.🤮
Ah no, I wouldn’t consider that normal.
It’s a bit insensitive for him to immediately regift something you gave to him.
It would be the same if he gave you flowers, and you gave them away to someone else. It’s just kinda rude.
Maybe talk to him about it? It’s important to have good communication, especially when something your partner did hurt you.
It’s the little things that build up to bigger problems. This could be a sign of some worse behaviors, or just an emotional blind spot.
Either way, I would definitely recommend bringing it up to him. If he dismisses your feelings, or makes you feel as if you are overreacting, then I would definitely reconsider the relationship.
But it could just be he didn’t realize how hurtful that gesture was. Letting him know may open his eyes.
Good luck to you either way, and I hope everything goes well for you!
I bought my husband flowers once. He told me men don't get flowers and to never do that again. So it CAN be normal.
Sometimes guys are a bit stuck in gender roles, it's not necessarily wrong, and at least he gave them to someone that would appreciate it rather than throwing it away
@@legendarybubbles4567 I'm pregnant now, it wasn't planned. We've been having fights over the smallest things, and right now I don't even know if he likes me anymore. It's sad. He makes me feel sad or dumb almost all the time now, and yesterday he said "I don't wanna keep talking to you, so stop and finish with all this". I don't know if I'm single now, I'm really depressive and I guess I should've seen the signs before...
They say that the first time most guys get flowers is at their funeral.
Just talk to him, or write him a letter. Tell him how you feel, that you want to do better, that you appreciate all the things he does for you and the family. How much you love him, and arrange a date night for you two
I have found when i speak the words. My hubby is happy. Thank you for doing whatever. I know you are tired and you still did that. Thank you. Or. I love our life. Thank you for helping to make our life like this. He likes i acknowledge what he is doing
Men dont often get treated like this to a compliment or flowers. Women should show more to the men they love and more often. It doesnt have to be flowers but appreciation. Most partners would like that.
I think it's just that it was flowers....I got my partner a rose a chocolate and some sour gummies ik they like for there birthday and they cried....they are literally unable to cry most of the time. To a point that my cat that we both loved dearly died they couldn't cry.
Yeah men do appreciate it, when you think about them and show it.. i know, I've been married for 22yrs, and wouldn't be with anyone else. They life we have built is amazing! And i show how much i love him each day! Tell your partner you love them every day, because you don't know when is the last time it could be! Appreciate one another!
Don't bet your self up. Your showing him you care and he loves you for that. Not everyone is a big show when it comes to giving. But it does happen we rember and should show our gratitude once in while. The face that your think about it is good. Your trying and that is what matters. Enjoy his happiness. He love you for it. Your thinking to much on it. Remember to show him you love him. By doing small thing for him with out him asking you to or by him small gifts. He will appreciate and remember what you done for him.
She was just to stupid to realise she should do the same for him but that doesn’t make her a bad wife considering she felt bad she never did the same for him
Yeah(also it’s too stupid not to stupid)
@bibibirdie Correct...and hilarious!😂
Calling them stupid for not realizing seems like a stretch, people don’t enjoy giving gifts as a default and for a lot of people receiving flowers as a gift is more or less a formality. Not to generalize, but most men don’t or are taught to not want to enjoy flowers because it’s seen as feminine, as opposed to getting them for a female partner which is more or less the default. Her husband appreciating the gesture more than she expected isn’t an indictment of her, it’s literally just her doing something nice and learning that she should do it again in the future.
@@fifteendozenalleyroses Im sorry but English isn’t my first language so my spelling is bad
@@adamshort6241 I just mean it’s a bit dumb to not realise that something like that means that much to someone you love
No better time to catch up on giving affection than the here and now op
You're not a bad wife for having a different love language from your husband
Bruh where tf did this “love language” shit come from?
@@LoathsomeLucifer ??
Thats pretty normal reaction for men since they rarely receive flowers while alive
It's harder for some to express their feelings and realize that they may not be as romantic or open about rheir feelings to their parntner, as others are. That's fine tho, since you've realized it you can work on that.
Men aren't used to this kind of thing, so to him its a shock. Also i wouldn't say she is a bad wife as there is no malice, just a human who makes mistakes
I love getting flowers for special occasions and always show appreciation. But getting flowers just because he's thinking of me and wants to make me happy would make me feel unbelievably special. Once he brought me a lovely small bunch of flowers from his mother's flower garden. I was over the moon, until he told me his mother picked them and told him to give them to me. Same beautiful flowers, completely different emotion.
Most men don’t get gifts unless it’s a bday or Father’s Day and even then it’s generic stuff like after shave or socks 😂
It’s a shock to us when we receive random gifts 🎁
theres only that many socks or cups us men can get. dude, I bought me dad a watch and it eventually ended up in my own cupboard
I personally wouldn’t talk to him about it you recognized the problem you can change it. First step of change is recognizing the situation, problem, or behavior. The next step is working on changing it .
I gave my ex a flower for valentine's day early on in our relationship after my son was born... he got offended and shouted do i look gay to you?
Young and stupid... that's why he's ex
@kaliyahahas thank you 💙💙 now I'm married to a dude that'll blow you kisses if you call him gay, favorite color's pink, and his b-day is on valentine's day 🤣
Men show you how to love them back.
There's nothing wrong with not being as romantic as your partner as long as you treat them with love and respect in general. Some people just prefer to show their love in simple ways rather than all out lovey dovey your stuff, done people prefer to go all out while others are somewhere in the middle. I'm knee if those people who prefer to show and receive love in really simple ways like cleaning up for them or cooking food for them when they're tired. I genuinely do not like saying the words 'I love you' to anyone other than my favorite fiction characters and even then I'll rarely say 'I love you' to my favorite fictional characters. Of course I'll say it just to make my family and friends happy cause that's one of the ways i show love.
It's often sad how we're so focused on men reaching ours standards that we forget to return the favour
I am really happy that she is trying to improve👏.I hope they have a happy and loving family.
My husband’s version of flowers is chicken and stove top and either a bottle of wine or his favorite beer(which has been discontinued, sadly). And me-I don’t care for flowers. I have a lot of allergies…lottery tickets would be nice maybe.
He cried because the love and romance he gave is something he would like to receive. Op giving the flowers, especially after not being very romantic, could mean a lot to him. You might also speculate that he has been thinking about the lack of romance (and showing your love through it) , and this was a "sign" that OP still loves him. There is also the fact that most men only get flowers when they die, and that thought is very depressing.
I hope OP learns from this moment and maybe communicates with the husband about his wants and needs!
I buy my husband flowers, or if I see a card I'll grab it. If I'm walking through the mall and see something he has said he wants I'll buy it. I check the algorithm on his ipad in case he's been checking something out. The other day he mentioned his interest in going to one of the Civil War battlefields that's close by so yesterday I packed us a picnic and we went.
He does things like this for me as well.
Ladies, if you like to be romanced, don't you think your man does too?
It’s probably the fact you actually DID something for him because you probably don’t do sh!t or act grateful.
No need to be negative to someone trying to improve.
I mean kinda but it’s def not to late to change
Best apology is changed behavior.
I've asked many men this question. The overwhelming answer is "fawk no I don't want flowers! Bring me a bouquet of bbq sandwiches and a foot massage."
Lol sounds about right, but most men would still majorly appreciate flowers even if it wouldn’t be something they’d prefer. Everyone would prefer 1 million dollars over a pair of socks, but when a holiday comes up you just appreciate the fact that someone got you something at all and it’s always a nice gesture (especially given the fact that most men get about 1 compliment per year)
Jones BBQ foot massage
@-Hyperio
Maybe in your area. But MOST men in my area want bbq sandwiches and a foot rub. I'm not gonna go against what someone openly tells me they want. Especially if it's my man. I've told plenty of my exs what type of jewelry I've wanted, coffee I liked, or even a cheap candle. Mostly I was given gift cards. I never appreciated the gift card more. I would have appreciated them thoughtfully listening. If and when my man asks for flowers, I'll gladly give them to him. But until then, I'll respect his wants and needs
You’re not wrong, but your responses received aren’t indicative of men as a whole. 😂can area has its own unique culture and status quo. In YOUR area that may be what men would want when asked-which could also depend on what you’re asking them. A kind gesture is a kind gesture. Would they prefer a bbq sandwich and a foot rub-sure most women would too. Would the be upset, offended and irritated if the woman who is their spouse and love of their life gives them flowers and said “I saw these and they made me think of you and how much I appreciate you” I can guarantee they won’t be upset and would be appreciative of it.
@AnonyMous-lh3cm
Question: Do you want flowers
Men: No
What would you like: Food, foot rub, bl°₩ jobs
I’ve done the same, gotten my bf flowers randomly because I saw them at the store and thought he’d like them. He got very emotional and when I asked if it was something other than the flowers he said it just the flowers but that he wasn’t use to the gesture, ever in his life, he was taught by everyone around him that it’s the man’s job to treat the woman like that and to not expect anything in return. I was saddened by that because I think it’s both partners job to treat each other. He has since been more open about use spoiling each other and openly accepting it
My husband would honestly hate flowers….but does love snacks
I will say this: you're a good wife when you realize you're not worthy of the man who does so much for you and your family. That mindset daily, makes a whole difference in how you treat him. Towards both of your blessings
You can still appreciate the ones you love without destroying your self worth. She can still feel worthy of a great guy while still acknowledging she needs to improve. This mentality isn’t healthy.
You don’t put people on pedestals. It’s not healthy.
If the romance in a relationship only goes one Way it Can be exhausting, that doesnt mean he doesnt love you if you dont do it, But showing affection is important, if you dont thats how you drift apart
I won’t be too harsh, since this isn’t a unique phenomenon. Most men will first receive flowers at their funerals
My old high school friend group included my bf and he told someone that. She then tried to accuse me of not getting him flowers just like every gf. To be honest I got him flowers many times but I preferred to make him edible arrangements
I think it depends on love language tbh, his way of showing his love and ur way of showing ur love r prolly very different but it works bc yall love what u receive from the other in terms of how the other shows love. Other ppl can sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. They dont know yall and what ur relationship is like. Only u and ur partner do. Talk to ur husband, ask him if he is happy in yalls relationship, if he says yes, keep doing what ur doing, if he says smthn else, talk to him and see what u can do to make him happy the same way he makes u happy. Ur friends sound kind toxic tbh… very negative ppl…
Why not do both, tell him how much you love him, want to be a better wife and show him with actions.
Here's some advice for everyone. Have a conversation with your partner/ spouse/whatever. Ask them point blank, what are the things you do (or don't do) that make them feel loved. Big or small. Learn your partner's love language, and tell them yours. Don't assume your awesome cooking fills their need for a snuggle. Don't assume your fantastic adult time fills the need for them to hear you say "I love and appreciate you." Different people need different things to feel loved in a relationship. Thera an effective book about love languages, if you care to read about it. Your welcome.