They Sent Apex Predators To Kill Humans, But We Tamed Them Instead
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
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The application of both alien and domestic friends (K9, reptilian, et al), is a theme I thoroughly enjoy. In addition where our species win and eventually dominate. Thank you!
Hey, this tale is a great teaser for a series. It would be great to see this tale continue.
I like this story. There should be a Part 2.
The story does pull you along. However, first, the gun is knocked from the Ranger’s hands. Then it’s IN his hands. Next, when the creature, with (at least) a foot that’s 2 1/2 feet long, the Ranger rolls the collapsed beast off of himself. Get editors who won’t allot this stuff to detract from the story.
Bad editors can quickly take a good story and destroy it.
"Stop these animals or you're all going to die" is not a *cryptic* message - it's not a message at all, it's a warning and certainly not 'cryptic' because the 'animal' spoke in English.
I'm sorry, but this story has some really, *really* massive plotholes.
(Timestamp: 5:15)
1) The meeting with the emperor implied that the "predator" was an Earth-native beast. (And I notice that the picture at that timestamp was inspired by the large therapods, though they didn't have 6 toes.)
2) Okay, why the hell would one of the Vorkarians spill their plan?
3) How, exactly, could the ranger use his rifle to stop the predator's jaws, when it was knocked from his hands by the attack?
(Timestamp: 5:55)
4) If the beast is a megafauna, how the hell did the ranger not get squished when it landed on him?
(Timestamp: 6:52)
5) "The" northern continent? When there are two? (AKA North America and Eurasia.)
(Timestamp: 8:10)
6) Um, why were the Vorkarian ships not detected, expecially given that they knew a ship had already crash-landed?
7) Also, if one of the predators can escape a steel cage through sheer strength - hell, yes, it would have crushed the ranger.
(Timestamp: 8:39)
8) If Sean Dixon is a Wildlife Ranger, why the hell is he commanding soldiers? (Yes, both are referred to as "rangers", but wildlife rangers aren't army rangers!)
(Timestamp: 11:24)
9) Evolution happens over the course of generations. Whether few or many generations, it's still *over the course of generations*. That's part of the *definition* of evolution.
(Timestamp: 11:51)
10) If a plasma bolt flashed over him, he would be badly burned. Unless there's some kind of containment field surrounding the bolt itself, plasma would sear a person to ash. (Timestamp: 12:09) Oh, yeah, if it's heating the air like that, it would definitely have burned him even if it was a miss. Not to mention, it would have set off forest fires!
(Timestamp: 14:49)
11) If someone on "that team" is a xenobiologist, then obviously humans have previously discovered or known about extraterrestrial life. Which makes the question of why the Vorkarian ships *weren't detected* even more confusing.
12) So, they're using the Vorkarian writing system to communicate with the "monsters"? How in hell does that make any sense? (Not to mention the fact that writing systems are not the department of *biologists*, xeno- or not, but *linguists*.)
(Timestamp: 16:35)
13) Okay, this whole thing doesn't make sense either. Why are they *only attacking in Yellowstone*? You'd think if they wanted to destroy all humans and take over the planet, there would be simultaneous attacks all over the world. (Timestamp: 17:13) Yes, why are they only attacking Yellowstone?!
14) If they have orbital bombardment technology, why the hell the convoluted plan with the "monsters"?
(Timestamp: 17:23)
15) See above regarding my question about the apparent inability of humans to detect the Vorkarian ships. If they can detect the preparations for orbital bombardment, why the hell didn't they detect the ships in the first place? (And for that matter, why didn't they just shoot missiles up at the ships, rather than this, again convoluted, plan of making friends with the "monsters"? Sure, it makes for a good backup plan, and better for the planet's wildlife, but seriously, it's implied several weeks have passed with humans doing nothing but concentrating on befriending the "monsters", and the Vorkarians doing nothing but sending shuttle after shuttle of ground troops. This is a matter of both species seriously picking up the Idiot Ball.)
(Timestamp: 17:39)
16) What the heck can a pack of monsters do against *orbital bombardment*?! Get planes and missiles into the air, good grief!
(Timestamp: 18:06)
17) Okay, so the Vorkarians have *Double* Idiot Balls. Who sends ground troops to a place that is undergoing orbital bombardment *by their own side*?!
(Timestamp: 18:52)
18) See above re my comments about plasma bolts and their effect on anything around them.
(Timestamp: 19:05)
19) Novak has been on the Vorkarian ship in orbit the entire time, how the *hell* would he be a "familiar figure"?! And again, why would anyone be on the ground when their *own side* is involved in bombarding that very ground from orbit?
(Timestamp: 19:24)
20) Okay, so *one* of the magma wraiths can ignore plasma burns - how come none of the others could?!
(End)
21) Just... gah. Makes no sense whatsoever. Also, a note that whatever speech-to-text app was used for the subtitles was a bad one, with a number of mistakes. ("moor" instead of "maw", several different versions of the word "Vorkarian", etc.)
I love the stories, but I wish the were episodic!
No Dinos here in Montana, but some of the grizzlies are a close second.
It's like two different stories mashed together.
Please CONTINUE !!!
Really, a great story!❤
This is the fifth story with this plot i have seen since the success of the first one.
I very much enjoyed the story thank you
Like all your stories ❤
I liked the story, reminds me of CBC's midnight theatre.
This was a good short. Was there anymore?
the rest of the story was ok. . a little short on details and the end was rushed. The biggest issue left hanging is the explanation of what how the wraiths interacted with the magma & why. Yellowstone is underlain by two magma bodies. The shallower one is composed of rhyolite (a high-silica rock type) & stretches from 5 km to about 17 km (3 to 10 mi) beneath the surface & is about 90 km long & about 40 km wide. The chamber is mostly solid, with only about 5-15% melted. This information could be incorporated & used in various ways to give the story depth & credibility
Not bad at all
I like this story.
Why tell the end of the story in the first sentence.
When I buy a book I don’t read the last page first.
it was great until 16:20min in then it jumped like it had a whole chapter missing. slow down & introduce how you got from touching the beasts snout to fighting beside each other. this is not a 2 second process. if you want to make the story-line flow or believable don't jump ahead with assumptions because it makes the story loose cohesion & interest
the title clearly stated that the aliens brought the t-rex? to earth to eat humans, not the other way around and where the hell are these monsters from earth for the empire top collect which is ass backward from what the title stated.
Terrible speech to text
you made another big mistake at 18:30. so far in the story you only have half a dozen of these creatures. when did it suddenly became more? you need to create a few sentences to create more of these creatures. don't assume the reader knows how they came about