Brainbots Used To Be So Cool, What Happened?
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- Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
- Dr.Zalpractice really went down the Dracula rabbit-hole here...
Become a Restful Cube: / nobeyone support me here
3D models + animation by dominik johann
/ zerstoerer
/ zerstoerer
dom.ink
go check him out, he's fantastic
dr. zalpractice voiced by dominik johann too dawg
I remember when my dad got one of these. Such mischievous little guys. It would always try to ram into stuff like the nearest window or hide in our oven.. Good times
I had one that tried to befriend a mouse one time
I had one that discovered the second pacific rim movie… I had to put him down…
@@nobeyone It's wild that so many of us have abandoned Erth just because of the Dracula brainbots. I'll never forget the look on mirror Chris' face when I lept through the mirror and took his place. I tell myself we were just doing what we had to survive, but I think we all know the truth.
Mr.Dr. Zalpractice actually created the original recipe for mountain dew baja blast, this is what he used in his Brainbots.
Holy shit
i like how they never decided to try and make it unable to perform violence, they just always gave it stubby arms
I mean the big argument for it was user freedom to load their own behavior routines and the flexibility of the human brain to interpret commands. The company might have come up with a better solution, but FTC had already made the regulation.
You know how bureaucracy be
It just escalated the violence, too. The mafia hired roboticists to case-mod Mk IIs (and later Mk IIIs) with submachine guns and optical lasers, and the expertise they developed over the '80s and '90s is what allowed the mafia to adopt walker mechs in the mid-2000s.
I remember SOO many too-big-to-fail companies fell because of the vampire bubble. We really have to look back at their mistakes catering to draculas. we’re doing it all again catering to lizard people with this AI boom.
Don’t even get me started on the lizard people
I remember Zal from highschool. Always was an ambitious guy. Made a robot that ran on only school milk, regular milk didn't work for some reason despite his many attempts. And only a few of his creations gained sentience.
Sounds like classic Zalpractice there
Also how did you model the little spinning Brainbots in the side of the screen?
@@Wario-The-Legend yeah i heard he got in touch with the person who had the models
This is just so... free. Most youtube videos are chasing a trend, etc, but no, you are doing what you wanna do and being creative!
Freeeeedoooommmmmmm babyyyyyy
@@nobeyone you are having fun, doing your craft well and getting popular for it... Brings a tear to my eye!
🤍
what do you mean, he's just making a retrospective on brainbots, retrospectives are extremely common, id be cool if he made up a narrative and told it through a retrospective format but no he just talked about brainbots
I was never a fan of chasing trends or content that did so. We need more original creators like this dude fr
I like how the "reportedly" said quote is an actual audio recording of him clearly saying it
love that you set this up to be about a line of existentially tortured brain slaves then quietly swept that aside to talk about vampire marketing strategies
It’s important!
I only knew one kid who had a Brainbot, but nobody liked him because he always smelled like green beans. One day a couple friends and I stole it from him and took it out behind the Binco's on the corner. We didn't know what to do with it so we shook it up just to see what would happen. The fluid got real foamy and the thing started having a conniption. We didn't know what to do so we heaved it into the dumpster. The dome shattered when it landed and I thought I heard it say "thank you" before we all ran away.
Dude, I think that was MY brainbot…
@@nobeyone omg i'm so sorry i didn't think you smelled like green beans but the other kids would say that and i was just trying to act cool and i told them not to do it but it was jeremy's idea
The only thing unbelievable about this is the CEO admitting that he messed up.
True
This is SO brilliant!!!!
World building of some type of disturbing technological nightmare done through the format of niche-internet nostalgia bait video essays. Wow.
Congrats, this is a marvel.
you cracked the code! Glad you enjoyed
my mom bought one of the market competitors to the brainbots in 97, it used an orangutan brain according to the manual. would always kick my butt at checkers, then id cry, and itd give me a long deep hug. we sold it in 2001 to GoodWill
That made me tear up
Orangutans are better at adapting to brainbot conditions as was proven by Nasa in their 'deep chimp' program
I remember when I was a kid, I found my dad's old BrainBot 2 Kid Version. It scared the crap out of me lol
That shit haunts me
This robot killed my entire family, stole my identity, took over my job, shaved my head, stole my credit card, ate my lunch, hid my remote, broke my TV, spread rumors about me, killed my friends, gave all my worst enemies $50, and blew up my house.
I hate these robots.
Damn bro
I think that was just a defective model, did you try to refund it?
Mine did the same but gave my enemies $100.
Now how'd it do all that with those stubby little arms?
@@Sweld549 don't ask, it's so traumatic that I've been in therapy since the mid 2000`s and I still have the night terrors.
I think the government was gonna shut them down for malpractice but in a clever move they changed their slogan to "Its Not Malpractice, Its Zalpractice!". This was enough to convince the authorities of their innocence. Since it rhymes it must be true stated the head of the Department of Undulating Mecha Brains.
God that was such a good ad campaign
@@nobeyonehell yeah.
Out of all directions this story could go, vampire trend chasing was not something I expected
thanks for letting me help out on this video Nobey! can't believe i managed to run blender 3D on my modded german firmware Brainbot 3
Truly an impressive feat
I had one of these as a kid! So silly :)
Can't believe my kid's unit was rare, though! Super freaky, given how it was always running into the window over and over, twisting the arrow and spelling out goofy little broken sentences like *"WHERE AM I"* or *"HELP ME"* , lol. Loved the thing.
Can't believe they didn't notice a bug like that when they started selling it.
@@worm.on.a.string.Possibly, it could’ve started later on after the initial tests.
Dinner pfp based opinion
Had a similar idea I wrote down awhile back for a book or game -
'Paradise Kingdom is a defunct entertainment complex with a fantasy medieval theme. The parent company, Satyr Robotics, wanted to be able to create more realistic and lifelike robotic actors and began experimenting with using human brains to power them. Unfortunately "obliterated" egos could eventually re-manifest overtime and override their primary programming, causing them to go berserk. Further it was later discovered that specific triggers from their (brain's) past could cause instantaneous ego manifestation without warning.
The brains were submerged in amniotic fluid as a form of direct nutrition. Failure to regularly change out the fluid in the braincases could lead to deterioration of the brain, corrupting data between the brain and hardware resulting in "zombie" robotic actors as the hardware continued to try and communicate with the brain.'
Back in '92 my cousin got into a head on collision with a semi truck while trying to teach his brainbot to drive. Rest easy Lenny.
Moment of silence for Lenny everybody
Not Lenny!
I am truly sorry for your loss
I love the idea that this channel exists within a fallout universe where the war never happens and all the weird tech stuff starts to warp society, seeing the introduction of the world wide web
I’ve got an old ‘93 model in my garage, changed out the fluid yesterday… should I throw leftover firecrackers at him?
Dude! You have try putting multiple brains in it. Some real cool stuff happens when you do that!
Yeah! I wanna see what happens!
@@nobeyone Why would you even do that? Not only is that a big meanie thing to do, but it creates a horrible stench, the kind you need harsh chemicals to get rid of.
I had a dream last night that the brainbot 6 came out
@@plasma2942hell yes
I remember my brainbot was a cheap copy, as such it bled everywhere anytime anyone talked. Atleast gave my mom some quiet. People don’t realize but the unofficial brainbots worked almost as well as long as you dint have a problem with your house smelling like amniotic fluid and cilantro
Oh god I remember the neighborhood poor kid’s house having that smell! Makes sense that it would be a ripoff then
My uncle used to have a decapitated brain bot 1 as a nightstand in his house
Fly high, uncle Terry
What a guy
I saw a dude on the street once who said that the Draculas gave Zalpractice all the brains, and mind controlled him into making the Dracula version of Brainbot III. He looked far from sane. The next time I saw him he was a mindless zombie, with a vampire bite on his neck and stitches around the top of his head...
you nailed the video essayist voice
I had a Brain Bot in '98, he just kinda hangs out in my mom's broken hot tub now though. He likes it I guess
Probably the good ending for one of these guys, they’re like friggin hamsters, always exploding, falling out of windows, getting in the oven, etc.
When I was a kid, I had one that used to stand next to my bed and watch over me while I slept; protecting me from floorboard people. Sometimes he would whisper 'murrrh... durrrh...' and poke at me! What a goofball!
Man..... you deserve so much more credit this is an amazing piece of media, I've seen no-one with a style this unique and creative, Thank you for these wonderful videos.
Thank you so much!
I love mock essays. I love pixel art. I REALLY love this
Is the green cooling fluid (that keeps the bots brains in a docile state) the *same* green goo left behind on the couch by the restful cube? 🕵🏾♂️
(Also, Dominik did a crazy good job on Mr. Doc’s voice!)
Oh shit you know too much now
Thank you daymen for your service
we salute the DAYMEN
this is so cool i need some guy to make an hour long essay video breaking down the horrors implied in this universe
I heard a rumor a while back that one of Zalpractice’s colleagues wanted to be one of the brains used in early brainbot prototypes because he had some sort of terminal illness or something. But, this was before they knew how to manipulate the bots into doing what they wanted, so some people speculated he remained a part of the development team, even in his current state.
"Don't sell to draculas, they're not the future". Remember right after that we had that one company making Frutiger Aero Frankensteins until about 2007?
At least Frankensteins were modular!
I remember when my father got me (and my four siblings) our very own Night-Friend! It’s one of my fondest memories of that man, taken too soon what with those damned Daymen…I hope I can return to the Midwest soon, being a vampire in California sucks, everyone keeps making Lost Boys references and it’s VERY insensitive!
It’s too bad he company went bankrupt from poor marketing choices. They truly were a great company full of people who 100% wanted the best for their customers and definitely didn’t have any morally questionable practices. I personally want one of the CD playing ones, because I have a huge collection of CDs.
Yea, right, “cd collection”. Uh huh. Just wait till the DAYMEN come to town.
Well crap…
Those 3D renders fucking cool
You know the worst part is the mob just got around the stubby arm problems I just making the freaking own what laundry ducks and PVC pipe, I remember they sent a brainbot 2 with a bunch of freaking bomb strapped to it into a rival crackden.
My grandpa knew that vampire obsessed freak, he designed one of the ventilation systems for the brain bots I'm not sure which one though. He said that he smelled like potato salad
He smelled like potato salad?? What a dork ahahhahaa
I want... whatever piece of media you are making with this world building. If there is none i want it to exist. This is fantastic.
the channel is the world :)
Man i used to write letters to Mr. Dr. Zalpractice ever summer of the 90s, basically begging him to implement VCR robots. I bet VCR would still be popular today if he had only listened to me
Could’ve fixed everything!
My brother played fencing with our brainbot back then and accidentally hit the brain container and all the fluid got out. He hid the bot inside his closet, it took days until we found him but at that time it was already too late to repair :(
My parents got a used Brainbot III when I was in junior high, it came with a CD. That’s when I first started listening to the Cure.
I remember in like 97-98 right when we learned you could jailbreak these as long as you didn’t live in the US, UAE, or Australia. My dad’s Night Friend edition was just lying around so I installed some dodgy irish software on it so it could play licensed music as well as the preset chiptunes.
God that preset chip sound font was great
@@nobeyone it worked great if you were playing Loom or Monkey Island through its VGA adaptor
Man, modern brain automatons will NEVER live up to the hype these little guys had. I sort of wished that MK. IV had released, It would've dominated the market...
Don’t we all? The MK4 would’ve changed the world I think
I swear, if it wasn't for the Belmonts both the Brainbots and all other gadgets of its time could've turned into something much bigger. Imagine what would've happened if they were still around in the 21st century!
As in Simon and Richter?
@@speedsterhigh6607 Yea
I sat next to one of these brainbots at a Cure concert in Dallas in 1993
That’s badass
It was always pretty hard to get these guys to stop doing something. You couldn't give them a slap on the wrist because they were already in excruciating pain. One of my friends who had these used to use hot sauce, but eventually, the hot sauce to brain juice ratio got too high, and it reached its tipping point, and, well...
I actually heard that the brainbot 4 used 2 brains instead of 1, and thats why it never went to market. the brain donor numbers just weren't at those levels back then to support a 2x increase. Obviously now we have the Neurotron 6 wich uses 3 brains in 3 separate jars.
everybody knows the brainbot 4 was a myth, just a design at most.
I think you'd love that show the Venture Bros so so much. Worldbuilding supreme
I still can’t believe my mom sold my limited edition Graggle Simpson brainbot for like $10 at a garage sale. I’ve seen them sell on eBay for upwards of $5k 😱
The green fluid is actually unfiltered Mountain Dew
I remember having a friend who used his brainbot as his designated driver but eventually the gel in it's dome begane to go bad and it drove into on coming traffic. my friend diddnt make it out but thankfully the brainbot did his father diddnt want to let him go to waste so he replaced the gel and made him mow the lawns.
Now that’s a heartwarming tale
The 1990 model looks like it has blast processing
Smokes, just got home, just getting my food. And I see you out here dropping new ANime!?!?!?! Niice
What’d you get
@@nobeyone I been eating a loota wawas double burgers, they nice
I like the innocence and humanity of these videos-hope that doesn’t ruin future videos-I am a zombie cyborg.
its,... its so peak..
this is the content we yearned for.
if u turn 'z' sideways it looks like the letter 'N' and dr. Nalpractice is kinda like dr. malpractice. woah...
oh crap now my shadow agents have to get you
I think I saw Mr. Zalpractice camped out behind the 7/11 a few days ago.
excellently informative video but did Mr. Dr. Zalpractice source his brains ethically
No
thanks for casually making high art
Most people don’t know zal was like a really fucking weird guy. He supposedly wanted the original brain bots to have human eyes as well??? Idk why the board kept him on for so long, no wonder they went under.
He was fairly liked by the public at the start of his career. Probably easier to control your PR back then
I'm gonna show my seven year old cousin this video and tell him that he missed out on the good ol' days and that my family owned the model from '90
I used to sell floppies that would make the bots do funny dances, too bad I couldn't get the mass remote control portion to work.
Still have a mk2 around here somewhere, had to stop using him once he tried killing himself
Have you tried replacing the placating goo? Heard that works
@@nobeyone ill give it a shot
I still use a Brainbot III for my audiophile CD setup. It’s got great bass, and it loves when I play Pure Guava!
It’s like those audiophile ps1s, just maintain it and it definitely colors the sound. Just a bit green tinged
happy to see ze fellow mr dr and ze experiments he conducted
You might be my favorite channel on youtube
Thanks napalm zombie from shangri la
I still keep the green juice from my brainbot, not because i got attached to it but because i can sell it to a collectionist for a fortune
90s child here, i did not live in US so brainbots were way too expensive,so rich people stuff.
We did had a knockoff thou, it was okay. It did most stuff brainbots could do just slower. but i always thougth The brain was way to small to be human, also it had a fm/am radio instead of a cd player.
i think we just tossed it out when it tried to pounce my sister
My dad loved those silly bots. But he really hated the story of the shareholders and vampires. He used to group them together and call them Shampires. He still has a Brainbot III but sadly all we have are blu-ray discs.
I love this video format applied to a fictional product
I like to think he calls all vampires Draculas, not because he's German, but because he's from the south.
back in the day ma would cut off the shoes of brainbots she found in the yard and hollow them out to give us as new shoes, I tell you it was rough but man them things could kick
"yoooo! this kid go them fake ja-"
*gets metal kicked in the groin*
Rumor has it that a rival company, BrainStorm, was working on laserdisk support, but the mk III came out before it hit the market.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
AaaaaaaHHHh
hel the cow goes MOOOOOOOOOOOOOPmeeee
Accurate
yknow my dealer is a brainbot model 1, hes been around awhile
What the... I love this? The ambient, the music, the designs... just binged all the videos from you that I could today. They help me to sleep, they comfort me... This is right the style of stuff I always wanted to see. Cheers m8
This was a real eye opener as I was planning on opening a fridge company with insight of the upcoming vampire takeover.I will now be shifting my target audience to day men and humans thanks to this video, thank you!
Those very same vampires later started the 2008 housing market problem.
You know, I'd have to say something about stereotyping when you mentioned vampires playing The Cure and Bauhaus on the V3... *but* I have to admit that's exactly who I was playing on it at the time
“I have no mouth and I must scream” describes this video’s backseat theme perfectly.
damn you hit it off with this one dude, nice
God, these are so good. Don't stop.
Idk why but I love this
This is extremely interesting world building.
I remember BrainCon '98! Us few supporters left thought this would be the turnaround. But, alas…
The white color was a mistake, though, they really alienated the remaining vampires on the West Coast and in Europe, who swore by their BrainBots…
holy shit 12 minute long nobey video we are WINNING today
My little brother was turned into a Brainbot 2 after mom and dad couldn't handle his insane temper tantrums anymore, he became an obedient asset to the family then. I think we still have him in the basement somewhere, I'm not sure...
This freaking rocks dude, heck yes ‼️
i love your creativity. you have your own unique ideas instead of just following other trends
welcome back pilotredsun
I have arrived at the end of my quest to binge this channel. It has been a most incredible journey. From weird milk men to turkey goblelers, this channel has it all.
I will now go paint some ducks blue and remember the phrase “just say no”
This is so eerie and chill, yet creative and exiting, you got a new fan
That's so true how that happened with the Brainbots....... Many don't want us to know.
Yo my brainbot 1 always got lost on the way to bincos and when he didn’t my slurpee cup was never full all the way
This is high quality creativity right here
Aw shucks
This video rocks