I have more than one scene. My childhood was more like a war zone. And this chaos stayed in my nervous system for years. It's hard to choose the scenes. So darn painful. Thanks for this video.
You mentioned a saying: "Hurt people-hurt people." My saying to you is: "What comes from the heart-enters the heart" Thank you for sharing, it leaves an impact.
My memoir also deals with hurt-from both of my parents. It explores the blame game I lived by, until I realize how debilitating it still was for me, long after their passing. I took a separate event in my life which encompasses who I am and what I want to achieve and wrote it as a prologue.
Thank you for sharing your own experience of what your memoir is about. I like what you have done to create a prologue that juxtaposes the theme of blame in your memoir. Thank you too for your comment that what comes from the ❤ enters the ❤. I'm touched that the content of my video had that impact. 🤗
This topic really resonated with me, so thank you. A dramatic scene popped up for me, a time when I was a hurting teen, and I inflicted deep hurt on another through the written word. My father was present for my apology, after I admitted being the author and he offered unconditional love and acceptance, despite my horrid behavior. Years later, I realized that forgiveness and love is needed for oneself, and I began to change my life. Yes, hurt people hurt people. Where to place this scene needs some thought, for sure.
That is incredible! Thank you for sharing that. I know that you will find just the right place to put that scene in your memoir. Let it sit with you for a while and mull around, it may come to you quite clearly. Do let me know. I'll be all ears.
I have just found your channel and I love it! Ive been trying to write my memoir for the past few years. I have written about my childhood in chronological order but didnt know where to begin it as a memoir. I have only watched two of your vids and have already found them so helpful. Thank you so much. I also like the way you present them. You come across as very understanding.
OMG, what a breakthough for my memoir. I was so inspired by your video, that without watching it till the end, I wrote my pivotal scene and it was cathartic. It was about facing the challenges of a nine-year long ballet school on my own, as a ten yers old girl who wanted to persevere. And now, as a US Army soldier, I'm promising to this little girl, that I would continue to persevere no matter the obstacles. Then I finished watching your awesome video. Thank you!
What if you have many scenes in your life? I've came thru poverty, anxiety in school from horrible teachers, low self esteem, an ex husband who threatened to kill me, and many illnesses. All of these made me who I am today.
The question then is, which of those scenes speak to the story you want to tell in this memoir? The starting point isn't all the scenes we have in our lives but, rather, what is your story about? Have you seen my video on premise and scenes which I think will help you in answering your questions? Here it is: ua-cam.com/video/pQCAhAySsg0/v-deo.html
@@BrendaSmitJames I’ve just begun taking notes and I am beginning to form an outline of things I’d like to include in my story. Trying to apply the orientation/disorientation/reorientation plan you spoke about.
@@TheCanadiangringa Perfect! It's certainly good if you can plan it first and start to give thought your content and structure. I have a free webinar this week where we're discussing theme and the chronological structure of memoir. Let me know if you'd like to attend and I'll send you the invite.
@@TheCanadiangringa Please send me a note via this link so that I have your email address and then I can invite you to the webinar: brendasmitjames.com/pages/writing-circle
The problem for me when you talk about these scenes, and locking-in and dramatic turning points etc, is that what if you live a life that's totally stuck, you love to write but your life never really went anywhere, you never achieved anything, there was nothing you wanted to really show-off about, then what do you use as that scene? Hard to explain what I mean, but the way you talk makes it sound like everyone's lives are so interesting and worthy of praise.......but many people's aren't.
This is a great question, Tom. I do understand what you are asking. Many people write memoirs to unpack and make sense of their lives. We often do this because we want to know how we ended up where we are. For some people, they have had difficult and eventful lives, and these locking-in, turning point, pivotal scenes are easy to identify. They fit well with the narrative arc. However, not all memoirs and lives are like that. But even if we take the simplest story and the simplest life, we are all trying to understand some aspect of it. And what is that? Keep in mind too that the ordinary and uneventful happenings in our lives are often of interest to others. So, it is quite possible to write a memoir where each chapter could be a stand alone event/memory that recounts something you want to record, note, remember without it being the traditional 3 -Act Narrative with all the important scenes. I think my next memoir is going to be like that. A collection of memories, perhaps in a sketch or vignette format, where I simply tell stories from my life and take the reader right into the moment. But, I will still have a topic that I am exploring, some theme or thread that will tie the scenes together so that they are not an ad-hoc collection that don't appear to be going anywhere. I will still take the reader on a journey as I process something, even if it is as simple as how I came to enjoy/accept/appreciate a simple life with nothing much to show for it in the world's terms. Is this explanation helpful?
@@BrendaSmitJames Yes, that is helpful........my memoir about being a teenage punk rocker in a small English town is exactly the sort of 'collection of memories' you describe. You're answer to my questions is very perceptive of you & I'll re-read your words when I'm out writing tomorrow! You are a wonderful person Brenda.
@@TomTremayne I'm so glad that my response has helped. Questions for you to consider are, why did you become a punk rocker? What did it give you? As a teenager, you could have followed any route as a form of self-expression and identity. Why that one? There's a story there. Thank you for your kind words and for following along.
Awwww the broken homes: dysfunctional family syndrome!😂😂😂😂😂Would be my young life… Then as adult… With my children ghosting ME -and I gave up MY WHOLE LIFE for them! Where I wanted to make sure they did not grow up in the dysfunction as I did! And they did not!!! And I am the mother , a good mother that is estranged for 5 years now! Unfreakingbelievabke!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I have more than one scene. My childhood was more like a war zone.
And this chaos stayed in my nervous system for years. It's hard to choose the scenes. So darn painful. Thanks for this video.
Thank you for sharing your pivotal moment. I can see that there can be many pivotal moments that can be central.
So much self awareness and such a deep life lesson -- hurt people hurt people.
Such a meaningful and helpful video. Thank you.
@@jordannoble1082 Thank you!
You mentioned a saying: "Hurt people-hurt people." My saying to you is: "What comes from the heart-enters the heart" Thank you for sharing, it leaves an impact.
My memoir also deals with hurt-from both of my parents. It explores the blame game I lived by, until I realize how debilitating it still was for me, long after their passing. I took a separate event in my life which encompasses who I am and what I want to achieve and wrote it as a prologue.
Thank you for sharing your own experience of what your memoir is about. I like what you have done to create a prologue that juxtaposes the theme of blame in your memoir. Thank you too for your comment that what comes from the ❤ enters the ❤. I'm touched that the content of my video had that impact. 🤗
This topic really resonated with me, so thank you. A dramatic scene popped up for me, a time when I was a hurting teen, and I inflicted deep hurt on another through the written word. My father was present for my apology, after I admitted being the author and he offered unconditional love and acceptance, despite my horrid behavior. Years later, I realized that forgiveness and love is needed for oneself, and I began to change my life. Yes, hurt people hurt people. Where to place this scene needs some thought, for sure.
That is incredible! Thank you for sharing that. I know that you will find just the right place to put that scene in your memoir. Let it sit with you for a while and mull around, it may come to you quite clearly. Do let me know. I'll be all ears.
I have just found your channel and I love it! Ive been trying to write my memoir for the past few years. I have written about my childhood in chronological order but didnt know where to begin it as a memoir. I have only watched two of your vids and have already found them so helpful. Thank you so much. I also like the way you present them. You come across as very understanding.
Thank you, Lizzie! I'm so glad that you have found my channel too. I hope that it helps you even more and more.💕
Wow I’m so happy that I did that. Not knowing it. I just listen to my guidance through my intuition.
This is impactful. ONE SCENE though included in my memoir, did not make it so important. so thank you for this. Helpful. Thank you
That is great! Thank you for letting me know.
This video articulated what I have been trying to say for a while. Thank you.
I'm so glad that it was helpful.
This was beautiful. Hurt people, hurt people. My story is about learning to accept and give grace.
Thank you!
Thank you so much! I read your scene, and it helped me write out my crucial memory scene
That is wonderful! Thank you for letting me know. And for reading my book. 🤗♥️
Clear, and very clear explanation of what to include in writing your memoir. Thanks.
You are welcome!
Very sweet. Very helpful!
Thank you! I'm glad it was of use to you.
OMG, what a breakthough for my memoir. I was so inspired by your video, that without watching it till the end, I wrote my pivotal scene and it was cathartic. It was about facing the challenges of a nine-year long ballet school on my own, as a ten yers old girl who wanted to persevere. And now, as a US Army soldier, I'm promising to this little girl, that I would continue to persevere no matter the obstacles. Then I finished watching your awesome video. Thank you!
That is fantastic, Joanna! I'm thrilled to hear that. It warms my heart.❤️
Love this!!!!!
Thank you for sharing this. ❤
You are welcome! Did you find that it helped you?
Your videos have helped me so much, Brenda. Thanks 😊
That is wonderful, Debbie. Thank you for letting me know!😍
Thank you Brenda we almost have the same story - I also was close to my mother before she died
Thank you. 🌹
What if you have many scenes in your life? I've came thru poverty, anxiety in school from horrible teachers, low self esteem, an ex husband who threatened to kill me, and many illnesses. All of these made me who I am today.
The question then is, which of those scenes speak to the story you want to tell in this memoir? The starting point isn't all the scenes we have in our lives but, rather, what is your story about? Have you seen my video on premise and scenes which I think will help you in answering your questions? Here it is: ua-cam.com/video/pQCAhAySsg0/v-deo.html
I can picture my one scene. Thank you.
That is great! Was it already part of your memoir?
@@BrendaSmitJames I’ve just begun taking notes and I am beginning to form an outline of things I’d like to include in my story. Trying to apply the orientation/disorientation/reorientation plan you spoke about.
@@TheCanadiangringa Perfect! It's certainly good if you can plan it first and start to give thought your content and structure. I have a free webinar this week where we're discussing theme and the chronological structure of memoir. Let me know if you'd like to attend and I'll send you the invite.
@@BrendaSmitJames Yes I please. I’ve just begun this journey. It may be just what I need. Thanks!
@@TheCanadiangringa Please send me a note via this link so that I have your email address and then I can invite you to the webinar: brendasmitjames.com/pages/writing-circle
What are the benefits of using it in the first chapter as an inciting incident or later on as you mentioned it?
God bless you ❤️
Thank you! Blessings to you too. 🤗❤️
The problem for me when you talk about these scenes, and locking-in and dramatic turning points etc, is that what if you live a life that's totally stuck, you love to write but your life never really went anywhere, you never achieved anything, there was nothing you wanted to really show-off about, then what do you use as that scene? Hard to explain what I mean, but the way you talk makes it sound like everyone's lives are so interesting and worthy of praise.......but many people's aren't.
This is a great question, Tom. I do understand what you are asking. Many people write memoirs to unpack and make sense of their lives. We often do this because we want to know how we ended up where we are. For some people, they have had difficult and eventful lives, and these locking-in, turning point, pivotal scenes are easy to identify. They fit well with the narrative arc. However, not all memoirs and lives are like that. But even if we take the simplest story and the simplest life, we are all trying to understand some aspect of it. And what is that? Keep in mind too that the ordinary and uneventful happenings in our lives are often of interest to others. So, it is quite possible to write a memoir where each chapter could be a stand alone event/memory that recounts something you want to record, note, remember without it being the traditional 3 -Act Narrative with all the important scenes.
I think my next memoir is going to be like that. A collection of memories, perhaps in a sketch or vignette format, where I simply tell stories from my life and take the reader right into the moment. But, I will still have a topic that I am exploring, some theme or thread that will tie the scenes together so that they are not an ad-hoc collection that don't appear to be going anywhere. I will still take the reader on a journey as I process something, even if it is as simple as how I came to enjoy/accept/appreciate a simple life with nothing much to show for it in the world's terms. Is this explanation helpful?
@@BrendaSmitJames Yes, that is helpful........my memoir about being a teenage punk rocker in a small English town is exactly the sort of 'collection of memories' you describe. You're answer to my questions is very perceptive of you & I'll re-read your words when I'm out writing tomorrow! You are a wonderful person Brenda.
@@TomTremayne I'm so glad that my response has helped. Questions for you to consider are, why did you become a punk rocker? What did it give you? As a teenager, you could have followed any route as a form of self-expression and identity. Why that one? There's a story there. Thank you for your kind words and for following along.
Awwww the broken homes: dysfunctional family syndrome!😂😂😂😂😂Would be my young life… Then as adult…
With my children ghosting ME -and I gave up MY WHOLE LIFE for them! Where I wanted to make sure they did not grow up in the dysfunction as I did! And they did not!!! And I am the mother , a good mother that is estranged for 5 years now! Unfreakingbelievabke!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Is this what your memoir is about? Your relationship with your children?
I find this very hard to believe.
I know I did too, until I tried it out.
@@BrendaSmitJames I have given it more thought and yes there is a pivotal event that led me into a myriad of other bad choices that changed my life.
@@seawolf365 That is incredible! Thank you for letting me know.
We are all a roll of the damn dice and nothing we can do about it. My CHRISTIAN family…… LMBO!!!!!!😂
I'm intrigued to know what your memoir is about.