I remember passing out in a Las Vegas resort and my mom was supposed to come back with McDonalds. She didn’t. I asked her why tomorrow and she’s like, “I woke you up, dude, you didn’t want to eat.” Now, I wasn’t drunk or that tired, so I should’ve remembered. I bet she ate my chicken nuggets.
What I heard I was 'asleep' and my mom walked into my room. She walked over to my bedside and took my phone, opened the case, mumbling "She won't ever find this $100". She put the case back on and left. I opened my case to find a note saying, 'I know your not asleep, you forgot to take the trash out and do the dishes. Come do them. Now.' I was terrified. 😂😂😂
Calling your friend's name to check if they're awake almost never works, if you really want to check if your friend's awake, whisper something about a huge snake near him.
*People* *doing* *it* *in* *the* *other* *room* When suddenly *ACHOO* Guy laying there a listening: I'm about to end this whole man's career *Bless* *you*
i heard my aunt say im a brat and impolite ( i was the most polite/shy/boring child i knew) when i "woke up" she was super nice to me. Still dont trust her to this day...
Once when I was 11 I was sleeping over my friend's house. We stayed up all night watching TV, which her parents had expressly told us not to do. When her dad got up early the next morning, we panicked and pretended to be asleep in the living room. He goes into the kitchen, and we hear him rip the longest, loudest fart I have ever heard in my life. I had never had to try so hard to keep myself from laughing; I thought my diaphragm was going to rupture. Somehow I succeeded to not make a peep, but I could hear my friend trying so hard to stifle her hysterical laughter. I've never managed to not laugh out loud any time I've thought about it in the 9 years since.
Heard my sister and father compare me with my twin, saying I was lazy and stupid and how he's smart and hard-working. Made me think about life and the people I love.
one day I didn't sleep and I heard my mom and dad argue with my older brother. "GeT dAT RaT Out OF hERE!!" "It's a hamster mom! "I DoNT CarE!" It was weird.
I don't remember anything I've overheard, but once me and a friend were waiting for something to start and we were alone in the room, and I pretended to close my eyes and fall asleep. Then my friend got the idea to sneak over and scare me awake. Little did he know my eyes weren't completely shut, and I could see him, and just before he tried to scare me I bolted up and made a loud noise. It was the best scare I've ever given someone.
Shout out to my buddy who will just leave the room or fall asleep while me and my guy are trying to fuck. Doesnt kill the mood no matter what he does but at least he doesnt really get bothered by it
Over the years I've had not one but two different pairs of friends have sex in my basement when they slept over. I guess something about my basement really gets people hot and bothered.
Add on: I was petsitting my boss's cat in his apartment when my 2 coworker friends came to visit (with the boss's permission). They ended up dry humping on the couch while I was putting the cat to bed. There's definitely a reoccurring theme in my life.
Me: fake sleeping Mother: when should we tell her that Lucy (my grandmother) passed away this morning at the hospital? Father: wait for a while. She has a presentation today, don't make her sad. Me: internally crying while fake sleeping That moment was a huge ouch for me-
I should have think before fake sleeping. My friends and I were in our dorm but the lights are out for an hour so people are coming into our dorm to chat since there's nothing to do. I pretended that I was asleep, suddenly I heard my name There are a lots of people in the school that have similar name like me so I didn't think much of it. I open my right eye a little, to take a peek. Turns out my so called "best" friends talking shit behind my back. I know because she said my name and pause to look at me if i'm asleep or not and continue to talk shit about me. ;-;
I heard that my brother was planning to kill me. Thought he was joking. Got stabbed. Fun Edit: For people wondering: He said he was going to get the longest knife and stab my esophogus and then my chest so I would die. He had a pillow to muffle my screams and to suffocate me if it didn't work. It didn't. The pillow didn't either. I was stabbed three times. I have trouble eating due to irreversible damage in my throat. Yay. Edit 2: I have uploaded a video showcasing my scar. It is small and has healed mostly but is very easy to see.
I was sick and on a trip with a couple of girls. I pretended to be asleep so they didn’t talk to me because i had the worst headache. They started talking and eventually I came up and they all said how they really liked me and felt bad I was sick. They also said how pretty they thought I was I remember that to this day
When I was like 9 I had lost a tooth and I was really excited. I woke up doing the night and checked my pillow. Nothing there. I did knock over a lamp though. After pretending to go back to sleep I heard the door open. My heart was beating like crazy. I was going to see the tooth fairy. Even though I had tried to keep my eyes closed I just had to open them. I saw my mom standing there with her purse. She just whispered “It’s all a dream go back to sleep” and tried to hypnotise me or something. I did eventually but she has never admitted to this happening.
Words can't hurt me these shades are Gucci But that would have been the whole reason I fell in love with him in the first place, I would fall in love all over again
Me:pretending to be asleep Mum:i want a divorce I can't do this anymore Dad:it was about time Me: *Dies,screams cries yells on the inside* Brother:*farts*
It was in a dorm while I was in a summer camp, we were 6 guys in the same room. It was late at night, like around 11pm, and I just wanted to sleep but couldn't because they wouldn't stop talking. Two of them were actually sleeping tho, 3 of them were talking while I was just pretending to be asleep. G1 : Guy 1 G2 : Guy 2 G3 : Guy 3 Me : Me GA1 : Guy asleep 1 GA2 : Guy asleep 2 I wasn't really listening to their conversation since I just wanted to sleep, but then G1 said something that catched my attention. G1 : Hey, I heard that Me is gay, recently.. G2 : OH really? Who told you? G1 : GA1 told me he saw Me's texts and that he's gay! G3 : But he never texts in French? Does GA1 actually speaks Chinese? On a side note : I have Korean origins, and I live in France. Me and my brother always text in Korean so that there are no chances for others to "accidentally" discover about something I told my Bro. Turns out that the Asian dude GA1 was also Korean, and not Chinese (I thought he was Chinese because he never denied when people said that he was Chinese) and GA1 later told me that he saw my texts with my brother and that he discovered I was gay. G1 : I don't know, but GA1 is Asian! I think he's right..! G2 : Hey, I dare one of you to sleep in Me's bed tonight! G3 : You think I can't do it? G2 : Try it! G3 : Okay, he's asleep anyway. I heard him coming near my bed, and then I felt that the blanket was uncovering me. G3 was now lying down next to me, in my bed. This was a single bed, not a double bed, so he was pretty close. He wanted to play? I wanted to play too. I waited for like 5 seconds, hearing them laugh and saying that he was gonna sleep with a gay guy. And then, I took him in my arms. I back hugged him (Like I was the big spoon) and I felt him freak out. He didn't stand up tho. He just stayed there panicking. I heard him whispering "What do I do?" and I laughed. He went to his bed again still shocked while the 2 others were laughing their ass off in silence. He mumbled to G2 a "Go fuck yourself" and they all stopped talking and we fell asleep. The funniest night of the week, I'll always remember it. I remember every detail even a year and a half later.
My friend's dad came over and I was sleeping on the couch, and his dad goes to my dad "I wish my son was more like yours" and my dad goes "I wish I was more like my son when I was young" and that was nice
We were on a trip and we're sleeping in our trailer, which meant me, my mom, and my dad were on the same bed. I wasnt exactly pretending to be asleep, but I was awake enough to hear and process what was going on. It was my mom accusing my dad of cheating, which I'm convinced he didn't, and my dad pleading with her that he hadn't and that isn't something he would do. took a huge emotional toll on me for a while, and the phrase "I swear to you" still makes me wince, because that's all my dad kept repeating
@@victorsalinas9275 yeah they are, they resolved it and everything's ok now, but it still really bothers me, especially since I'll never know if he really did or not,, thank you though, the care means a lot 💞
That's the best thing I've ever heard. "Sometimes you gotta do messed up shit to not be on fire." If I had a time machine this would be my senior quote.
I love my mom and she says she loves me but it’s very clear once you meet her she cares about herself more than her only daughter. She always plans vacations without me causing me to stay at my grandmas or dads, she never taught me how to do anything so I can’t do my laundry or cook and our house is really old so she’s the only person I know that can use them but anyway I’m pretty sure she loves our dog more than me
People who have sex in the same room as someone who's clearly trying to be alone (e.g. sleeping, wearing headphones and facing the other way) are just tacky.
I was in an inpatient psych ward, along with other people who had tried to kill themselves, or had suicidal tendencies. I'm better now but during that time I wasn't well. I didn't sleep at night. There weren't really "doors" to the rooms. Just kind of high stall doors but didn't lock or latch, for good reason. (not to say the rooms weren't nice!) My second night there I still had sleeping problems so I often tossed and turned but ended up not sleeping. There were people patrolling the halls at night but I wasn't aware. I heard two voices and perked up. "Careful, this one moves at night." "Creepy." And some other things I choose not to remember. Literally right outside my door. At the time I wanted to politely tell them I'm still awake and to screw off but I thought better of it. I guess sleeping people with chronic depression and mental disorders were "things" not people to them. It made me second guess all the nice people I saw there and wondered if they saw me as crazy.
Oh my god I went through the exact same experience in a psych ward but I had accidentally tried to kill my self and they put me there for a week and I miss New Year’s 2018 but wow man I’m glad to hear someone else went through this as well I hope ur doing well as am I but there are still triggers from that horrible time Edit: It was my first and last time trying a drug and i overdosed unintentionally and i almost died, learned the hard way
I too was in a mental crisis unit (for kids) after i had my first suicide attempt. For the most part everyone was nice but similar experience happened to me too. I was in my room with my roomate (we both had horrible sleeping problems) and we overheard them shit talking about how one of the kids had done cocaine with her 20 year old girl friend.
Pretending to be asleep is just something I do all the time. Every time there was a school trip, I'd just close my eyes and be like that for it all. The amount of shit I heard being talked about me over the years is honestly impressive.
4:43 I remember a friend told me he saw santa on the roof of his building and then flying down near his window (we were about 5-7) I told him that it was probably some old guy who killed himself. He cried for like an hour lol.
Me: *(can't sleep for an hour, decided to pretend since parents might catch me)* Father: she's alseep now, should we continue our session? *(starts hearing soft moans and the squeaking of bed)* Me: *(crying)* what the fck did i do to desserve this.
I don't understand how people can have sex with other people in the room when its not an open relationship. That's such a private thing... Idk, people like that have no respect for themselves or their friends tbh.
Judgy much? People are allowed to be selfish, sometimes. Sometimes the party just doesn't have a good room, so they make do. Sex can be may things. Soft and intimate, dirty and carnal, sloppy, rehearsed, simple, elaborate. It just depends on what the people involved want to make of it. Keeping a fresh relationship that might not even go anywhere under wraps? Sure. People can have secrets. I've no respect for cheaters though. Why anyone puts up with that is beyond me.
@@Saiavinn It's just rude and inconsiderate. At the very least, go into a bathroom or something if you really can't control yourselves and wait. Do it somewhere where there aren't people in the same room with you. I don't know how those people can even still do it with other people in the room, its such a mood killer tbh. Then again, I'm just an overworrier so idk. Just have some decency, is what I'm trying to say. Especially when its one of your friends that's in the room with you.
Woke up to hear my bf at the time flirt with another girl online. Pretended to be asleep to listen to their conversation and make sure I wasn't jumping to conclusions. I wasn't.
used to have a real hard time falling asleep at night, and knew it stressed my mom out. so i couldnt sleep, and when my mom came up to check on me, i just pretended like i was. she feels my heart, kisses me on the cheek, and whispers "finally". cutest shit ever.
@@Netherdrop That spelling "mistake" changed the ENTIRE comment. And you know this. And now you're trying to make me look bad. You didn't understand the joke. Just accept it.
@@Netherdrop I'm not mad. And I haven't said anything rude. You're being defensive for no reason. I merely tried to point out that it was a joke, because you clearly didn't get it. THAT'S ALL. Don't make me out to be a bad person. I tried to be nice by pointing out it was a joke. Then you changed your comment to try and make me look bad. I don't appreciate it. So don't @ me. If you do, I won't be responding. Your defensiveness proves you're a child and you clearly don't intend on listening to anything I have to say.
the weirdest fake sleep experience i've had was when me, my mom, n my brothers all lived in an apartment a while back. i was still young then so i shared the bed with my mom. complained about being tired one night while everyone was partying, so went upstairs and fell asleep. woke up a few hours later to *my mom and her boyfriend s c r ew in g* right next to me i was 9 and mortified and i fake slept like my life depended on it
Get ready for my story: My older sister introduced me to one of her friends (who i shall call Hannah) and kind of insisted we go out together, i did not know her at all but when a cute 17 year old girl and the future queen of the underworld (my sister) try to semi-force you into a relationship when all of your mates are single, i shrugged in agreement just for bragging rights. Fast forward a few weeks into my first relationship Hannah seemed like a pretty cool girl and we had pretty much become friends, and that was as far as it went between us; we did not kiss, hug or hold hands. Every time i saw my mates they would ask "if i hit that yet" and insist that i should, being an easily influenced 16 and feeling peer pressure i nervously decided to ask her about it, almost immediately she shut me down by saying she was saving herself for marriage (her father was a vicar so it made sense) it suited me just fine because life eventually taught me that i am Asexual (which my sister somehow knew). I was going to leave it at that but since i brought it up Hannah tells me that although she did not want to get physical but still wanted to sleep over anyway, thinking it was the relationship progressing i agreed to it, so did my parents (being the odd hornballs that they are also got me a cake celebrating that i "was becoming a man" but were confused/disappointed when they saw she had a sleeping bag) eventually night came and despite offering her the bed Hannah insisted on the floor, i was just falling when i heard her whisper "mister ghen? Are you asleep?" I mumbled something back that must have sounded like sleep talk to her because she got up to, i assumed, go to the connecting bathroom, which she did but exited out the other side and into my sisters room where she then spent the next 3 noisy hours. To make a long story short, he next morning i spoke with the new pair of 'women' and decided i did not want to out my sister, "i" dated her for hannah for 2 years and was "suddenly" dumped for my freshly emerged sister. They live together now, i get along with hannah well enough but there are 2 downsides to the whole situation: 1. I now live my life knowing that i helped my sister lose her virginity, which i know because 2. She gave hannah my piece of the creepy 'maturity' cake while proudly explaining in detail why they deserved it instead.
What a rollercoaster of emotions. Was the marriage first thing a lie then? Your sister tried to get you and Hannah together but then was like fuck it and then got with Hannah instead? I leave this story confused and with many questions.
It was indeed a lie, they were together before i was brought into the situation, neither was willing to come out at the time, in fact hannahs father still has no idea, they wanted to be together but felt it would have been suspicious if she slept in her room, but my sister being the chaotic innovator that she is realised that my room was just a few feet away and i am a heavy sleeper, when i spoke to them the next morning they, came clean about the relationship being a hairbrained scheme and apologized, they looked pretty desperate at the time so i was not mad about it. I'm pretty sure the "saving herself for marriage" was an excuse so we would never try to get intimate but still being able to sleep in my room, but in all honesty i never asked.
Mister Ghen damn dude. If I were in your position, I would probably develop trust issues lol. I personally wouldn’t ever want to be in some grand scheme like that haha. Especially if you were actually into it and wanted to be with her or something, that would suck.
Something I heard...... Mom on the phone: uh huh so, Jerry how much does the kid cost? Turns out she was drunk and ordering me an American girl doll I am 29
Me: *trying to sleep because I have an exam at 8 AM* Roommate: Shhh, don’t worry. My roommate’s asleep, he won’t even hear us. Me: *hears the unzipping of pants* -_-
1% stuff about parents 0.5% stuff about other stuff 100% people f***ing wow thx for r/wooosh-ing people in the replies nobody has ever done that before on amy of my comments
I had just woken up from a sleepover at my girlfriends. I was on the couch next to the loveseat that they would pull up to play Xbox. I heard her talking to one of her online friends while playing a game. I didn't want to sit there and be a third wheel so I kept my eyes closed and I heard her say "oh my girlfriends over. She's asleep right now. She looks adorable when she sleeps." A bit later she went to the kitchen so I silently got up and blocked her off in the doorway and said "so I'm cute when I'm sleeping?" She was so flustered.
I heard my parents talking to their friends and overheard the following about my father: "He's really confident and passionate when we're actually having sex, but whenever we watch porn together he's always really giddy and shy"
I was at a sleepover and pretended to be asleep and heard my friend say to another to pull my boxers off and that’s how we found out he was gay. Good times
when i was about 5 i remember i was pretending to be asleep on my grandmas couch (it was late and i didnt want to get in trouble) and i heard my grandma tell my aunt (who is 7 years older than me) to pick me up n take me to her bed. she complained but picked me up. on the way to her bed she hit my foot on one of the hallway walls while turning the corner. she jerked me the other way and hit my head!! the whole time i still pretended to be asleep out of fear of geting in trouble. she just whispered “omg im so sorry....” and put me on the bed. i told her years later that i knew what she did that day and we still laugh about it 16 years later. 😂😂
When I was very little, in year 5 (what I'm guessing is 4th Grade) they told us about puberty, what happens during it and the reproductive organs (basically 'the talk,' but in school); and made us fill out comprehension sheets about it. We were told EXPLICITLY: "Pick up and throw all your sheets away in the recycling bin, because the year 2's (what I'm guessing is 1st grade) will be using this studio after us. However, in a hurry to leave, we accidentally spilled the sheets on the ground. No one noticed, so when the next class came in and began to read the sheets... well we had some explaining to do to the teachers.
Well I'm not gonna do weird stuff near sleeping ppl while I'm next to them, I don't want them to see my great Minecraft creations they might get ideas Edit: also testing if the person is awake or not is bs it doesn't work
Spook 1918 I hear it takes a truly excruciating amount of pain to wake someone up from sleep, so yeah, a quick kick to the ribs should expose the fake sleepers.
Kyle Calderon just sit and stare at them. Make no noise. Make it seem like you've either died or silently left the room. Absolutely no sound. Then they'll probably open their eyes to check where you are
“Turns Out it was his uncle” I guess your brother is better with your wife “Not his fathers brother, his mothers brother” Everyday we stray father from gods light
Mine is when I was hanging out with a group of girls and they had a “squad” or something I really wanted to be in and so we went to some concert thing and on the car ride home I laid my head down and then I heard one of them say “is she asleep?” And so they tested to see if I was and I pretended I was so I could hear what they where going to say, they basically took a vote if I should be in the squad or not and all of them said no except one :/ they said I was annoying and a brat but I was very shy and barely talked so they are dumb ig, also it was in 5th grade so idrc anymore but let me tell you, I was crushed ;-(
Soft moans: No reaction
bed squeaking: No reaction
sneezes: “Bless you”
I would like this comment but it's at 69....
When you’re just too polite:
I would have bolted up screaming from a nightmare and then just act acward and say you at least had a good time right
@@sleepyalex066 Lol
They be practicimg the new normal lol
"Sometimes you gotta do messed up shit to stay not on fire"
This would be a good senior qoute
"My skin is whiter than my teeth." Another good one
“If you’re homeless, just buy a house."
Another amazing quote
I'm saving these to write them when I become a senior💀
Good biscuit666 that would be a good 9/11 quote
That part was playing while reading this XD
Not fake sleeping... But my best friend told me that one time I was listing things off the Taco Bell menu in my sleep
*Memory* *100*
Omg lmfao
I remember passing out in a Las Vegas resort and my mom was supposed to come back with McDonalds.
She didn’t. I asked her why tomorrow and she’s like, “I woke you up, dude, you didn’t want to eat.”
Now, I wasn’t drunk or that tired, so I should’ve remembered. I bet she ate my chicken nuggets.
Lol sounds like something I'd do
wow *claps*
What I heard
I was 'asleep' and my mom walked into my room. She walked over to my bedside and took my phone, opened the case, mumbling "She won't ever find this $100". She put the case back on and left. I opened my case to find a note saying, 'I know your not asleep, you forgot to take the trash out and do the dishes. Come do them. Now.' I was terrified. 😂😂😂
This is the kind of parent i aspire to be
Your mom is the mother of all mothers
I made the likes 💯-
101 dalmatians bitches
Lmao 😂
Calling your friend's name to check if they're awake almost never works, if you really want to check if your friend's awake, whisper something about a huge snake near him.
No, no.
Ice cube.
Nope, using“cockroach” is better. No ones gonna believe a snake. I know I wouldn’t
@@benitaleveiro4057
However, Ice cube!
@@IrvingIV Wouldn't that just wake them up anyways...?
@@wrentheelf2656
Not if they're asleep enough that you shouldn't be worried about their presence otherwise.
The worst thing I’ve heard while fake sleeping was when my mom told me to get up for school.
XD
Amen
_silly sxphie_ same!
*mine was i fake asleep and my brother and his girlfriend doing video call sex thing*
_silly sxphie_ oof
A P P L A U S E to the dude who said bless you. You deserve a medal.
True
Lol
Ikr xD
Ikr
1000th like
*People* *doing* *it* *in* *the* *other* *room*
When suddenly *ACHOO*
Guy laying there a listening:
I'm about to end this whole man's career
*Bless* *you*
*when the bless was an actual curse*
420 LIKES!!!
Now this is funny!
*lmao yes*
1:27
“Not his fathers brother. HIS MOTHERS BROTHER”
*ALABAMA 10000000000*
Pansexual Pancake Dudeeeeee I live in Alabama and I can confirm that I know plenty of people who are dating their cousins.
Melody o h n o
Pansexual Pancake I know.
Add like 8 more zeroes
*_s w e e t h o m e a l a b a m a 1 0 0_*
“flirting at her like a brain damaged peacock.” 😂 😂
69th like lol
AeronauticAstronomer 100 likes
I died
*Sims have left the chat*
991 likes
"In the cutest French accent, she told me she was going to set me on fire in my sleep" honest to god I cant-
Me, as a french girl : *how tf is she cute with our shitty accent ?*
I love your name and pfp my chemical romance is amazing so is pierce the veil and sleeping with sirens I have a cat named after Kellin lol
Patrick Cossack what country were you born in
Imagine being the cop pulling over 2 sleeping dudes
Plot twist: the cop was also asleep
If I was the cop I'd pretend to be asleep too on their window lmao
That was my favorite story cuz it’s so stupid but so funny to the point where the cop doesn’t know what to say 😂
Brilliant
I was having a horrible fucking day. This story changed that. Thanks sleeping morons.
i heard my aunt say im a brat and impolite ( i was the most polite/shy/boring child i knew) when i "woke up" she was super nice to me. Still dont trust her to this day...
Screw You that’s fricking depressing god damn
Lol I'm also surrounded by these ppl, ever since I was a child.
Wack
And your username is Screw You
You sure you're fine??? lol
Once when I was 11 I was sleeping over my friend's house. We stayed up all night watching TV, which her parents had expressly told us not to do. When her dad got up early the next morning, we panicked and pretended to be asleep in the living room. He goes into the kitchen, and we hear him rip the longest, loudest fart I have ever heard in my life. I had never had to try so hard to keep myself from laughing; I thought my diaphragm was going to rupture. Somehow I succeeded to not make a peep, but I could hear my friend trying so hard to stifle her hysterical laughter. I've never managed to not laugh out loud any time I've thought about it in the 9 years since.
Revan Julevich powerful
I actually laughed out loud hearing you say you thought you diaphragm
Lol sound like something my dad would do too😂
😂
Heard my sister and father compare me with my twin, saying I was lazy and stupid and how he's smart and hard-working. Made me think about life and the people I love.
Now this is a big oof moment, best of luck bro
bruh. Happens all the time to mě but ill just move on since now.
But are you lazy and stupid tho??
Insults from family and close friends only mean that they want you to change for the better, so I think you should stop being stupid and lazy
challenge idk sounds like reasons they didn't want to have you lmao
one day I didn't sleep and I heard my mom and dad argue with my older brother.
"GeT dAT RaT Out OF hERE!!"
"It's a hamster mom!
"I DoNT CarE!"
It was weird.
Silence Yang I nearly pissed myself when I saw this 🤣🤣🤣
Every month, we buy a hamster
@@xixian5196 DO N O T
WE ArlREaDy HaVe a HamStEr
*Points at the dog*
Coulda eaten it
"we should draw on her face"
"no let her sleep"
we were on a bus on the way home from school camp.
"let mE DRAW ON HER FACE"
"nO"
Did they end up giving you the draw?
That exact same thing happened to me!! Literally exactly how you said it!!
Trashhh Talkkk matrix confirmed to come out with another movie
@Trashhh Talkkk same thing just happened to me, I was so confused
@Trashhh Talkkk same. The comment said
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Tulips:Am I a joke to you?
1:26 "my favourite memory and one I've never shared with anyone" .... UNTIL NOW
That one is so sweet!!!!!!
@@princessthyemis yeah
Until,
I always existing thing
*666 likes*
**quickly likes*
I don't remember anything I've overheard, but once me and a friend were waiting for something to start and we were alone in the room, and I pretended to close my eyes and fall asleep. Then my friend got the idea to sneak over and scare me awake. Little did he know my eyes weren't completely shut, and I could see him, and just before he tried to scare me I bolted up and made a loud noise. It was the best scare I've ever given someone.
Omg that's a really good scare tho!!! I would love to do that to one of my friends hehe 😂😂😂
@Jason Poole
people dont notice me either lol
Yeah I’m invisible to everyone, the teachers mark me late when I appear early
I always unintentionally scare people because they dont notice me too 💀 i normally move silently tho
Me: **asleep**
Parents: _When should we tell him he’s adopted?_
Me: *_shook_*
I'm sorry for missing nearly a week of my italian lessons!
I FINISHED MY FRENCH LESSONS LOLOL
don't worry it's just a dream
*you are still in the orphanage*
Duolingo Owl 100 likes
111th like. And please forgive me for not doing my Korean lesson this week.
A moment of respect for all the wingman bros that pretended to be asleep so their bros could get some.
Amen bruda
They the real MVPs
Preach
Shout out to my buddy who will just leave the room or fall asleep while me and my guy are trying to fuck. Doesnt kill the mood no matter what he does but at least he doesnt really get bothered by it
Amen 🙏
Over the years I've had not one but two different pairs of friends have sex in my basement when they slept over. I guess something about my basement really gets people hot and bothered.
Sounds fun maybe you should make it come full circle down there too.
@@forestofsecrets7273 That is exactly what I thought, it's so rude! I think the only person who hasn't gotten laid in my house is me!
Add on: I was petsitting my boss's cat in his apartment when my 2 coworker friends came to visit (with the boss's permission). They ended up dry humping on the couch while I was putting the cat to bed. There's definitely a reoccurring theme in my life.
Was a washing machine down there? That's probably why.
@Doggo Wth if that actually ever happened in my classes I'm grateful I never noticed
Mom: calls for my name
Me *Pretends to sleep
Mom: Calls my sibling
Me* Smiles
This deserves more attention
*sibling gets McDonald's and a PlayStation*
*You* " WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
Terrribleee lol same but I’m the one with the console but she gets more McDonald’s than me
The Anon lmao ikr 😂😂😂👍
So fucking relatable. 😂🤣😂
Me: fake sleeping
Mother: when should we tell her that Lucy (my grandmother) passed away this morning at the hospital?
Father: wait for a while. She has a presentation today, don't make her sad.
Me: internally crying while fake sleeping
That moment was a huge ouch for me-
I should have think before fake sleeping. My friends and I were in our dorm but the lights are out for an hour so people are coming into our dorm to chat since there's nothing to do. I pretended that I was asleep, suddenly I heard my name There are a lots of people in the school that have similar name like me so I didn't think much of it. I open my right eye a little, to take a peek. Turns out my so called "best" friends talking shit behind my back. I know because she said my name and pause to look at me if i'm asleep or not and continue to talk shit about me. ;-;
I'm sorry for your loss
Sarah Khan awww dude that’s sad I’m sorry hope ur ok tho * hugs *
Oh no!
How are you doing, it’s almost been a year since the comment was made but I wanna check on you!
@@unknownarmy3381 I'm sorry you had to experience that, that was so mean of her! I hope you're fine now tho ❤
One thing I heard...
Mom: Where’s the toast
Dad: In the oven
lol
Mood
Wat
???
@@honeyjar2970 its sarcasm
“I got a *gammaboy* ”
-Someone on Reddit, 2019
*NEW GAMMABOY, MAKE GAMMA RAYS WITH EASE!*
Oh, yeah the Gammaboy, the Fallout version of Gameboy, how could we forget about it?
Hulk?
Phoenix Chara I freaking love your profile pic
666th like!
I heard that my brother was planning to kill me. Thought he was joking. Got stabbed. Fun
Edit: For people wondering:
He said he was going to get the longest knife and stab my esophogus and then my chest so I would die. He had a pillow to muffle my screams and to suffocate me if it didn't work. It didn't. The pillow didn't either. I was stabbed three times. I have trouble eating due to irreversible damage in my throat. Yay.
Edit 2: I have uploaded a video showcasing my scar. It is small and has healed mostly but is very easy to see.
Meow I am cat 10/10 would do again
? huh?
Sounds fun
youtube says that this was posted 22 minutes ago the replies were posted more than 22 minutes ago. youtube is drunk again
hope youre ok...
I was sick and on a trip with a couple of girls. I pretended to be asleep so they didn’t talk to me because i had the worst headache. They started talking and eventually I came up and they all said how they really liked me and felt bad I was sick. They also said how pretty they thought I was
I remember that to this day
That's lovely to hear that you got a posse of girls who would love to be yours.
I'm jealous! Not even my friends who are girls say they like me as a friend!😭
@@dontheuseless9007 :(
damn man you got thots
awww
I once accidentally revealed my plans for starting WW3 as chancellor of Germany since Article 13 passed.
Ok Jacob Rothschild.
@Politoed Already did.
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions I want you to guess who’s running this account
@@hemetsans8818 Hemet.
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions Wrong it’s Mr neddlemouse
"Bless you"
*you will be destroyed immediately doing this action*
(Also this is the most likes I have ever gotten thank you)
Continue anyway?
Release a massive fart just to flex on em.
@@aperm510 Leave?
666th like!
DoubleA_Bot that's so me 🤣
Turn on dark mode, my eyes are burning
How
Hell no
I am now blind
@@iiemon at least you can still hear it. 😊
Arthur Morgan how you do that
"i haven't told her that her brother is honestly her step brother"
- mom, talking with my aunt thinking i was asleep.
At least you can say what are you doing step bro
@@Fart.t.2 Bruh
@@Fart.t.2 my dirty minded ass be like....
Bish stan haikyu
And bts
When I was like 9 I had lost a tooth and I was really excited. I woke up doing the night and checked my pillow. Nothing there. I did knock over a lamp though. After pretending to go back to sleep I heard the door open. My heart was beating like crazy. I was going to see the tooth fairy. Even though I had tried to keep my eyes closed I just had to open them. I saw my mom standing there with her purse. She just whispered “It’s all a dream go back to sleep” and tried to hypnotise me or something. I did eventually but she has never admitted to this happening.
What? Wow lol.
Slightly! Emø wtf 😂
Found out years after my mother passed away that she was the tooth fairy, cuz I found a small coin pouch that still had three of my baby teeth in it
That's a lot of *I* and *Periods*
she can't admit to it happening, because it was just a dream
I'm faking my sleep and my dad said to his friend, "You know my son, he doesn't do anything at all."
Yeah, probably I'll carry that until I die.
Xperia Z Ultra C6833 don’t let it get to you man
Especially when he's old and needs help. Then you can bust that confession out.
Xperia Z Ultra C6833 But do you do stuff around the house? If so, that’s just mean.
The one with the guy pretending to be sleeping too when he was the one driving😂🤣 I need to marry him!
@@glucoseguardian9999 lmao funny comment
@@glucoseguardian9999
Or he'll pretend asleep every time she gets angry at him.
Loser Lilac scuse me, UA-cam is not the place but you are very beautiful. Couldn’t not say it
He'll probably pretend to be asleep at your wedding. You'll walk down the aisle and see him sleeping in a chair in front of the altar
Words can't hurt me these shades are Gucci But that would have been the whole reason I fell in love with him in the first place, I would fall in love all over again
“She was on top of him and cane of with “yay horsey,yay,wheeeeee”
I CANT BREATHE 😂😂😂
Yoonki! 😂😂😂
ARMY
p e a c h e s YAAAAAAAA ;DDD
Ikr
@@xanaha3995 lol
Me:pretending to be asleep
Mum:i want a divorce I can't do this anymore
Dad:it was about time
Me:
*Dies,screams cries yells on the inside*
Brother:*farts*
LMAOOOO!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂......also so if this was true I'm sorry you had to go through that :/
@@johnnyorlandostorys7431 I know right? That brother farting must have been what made that night so terrible.
That’s horrible
Your brother farted
Y'all are just glossing over the divorce talk here
@@eosofspades_357 Fair point. In all seriousness I hope this person's life gets better
It was in a dorm while I was in a summer camp, we were 6 guys in the same room. It was late at night, like around 11pm, and I just wanted to sleep but couldn't because they wouldn't stop talking. Two of them were actually sleeping tho, 3 of them were talking while I was just pretending to be asleep.
G1 : Guy 1
G2 : Guy 2
G3 : Guy 3
Me : Me
GA1 : Guy asleep 1
GA2 : Guy asleep 2
I wasn't really listening to their conversation since I just wanted to sleep, but then G1 said something that catched my attention.
G1 : Hey, I heard that Me is gay, recently..
G2 : OH really? Who told you?
G1 : GA1 told me he saw Me's texts and that he's gay!
G3 : But he never texts in French? Does GA1 actually speaks Chinese?
On a side note : I have Korean origins, and I live in France. Me and my brother always text in Korean so that there are no chances for others to "accidentally" discover about something I told my Bro. Turns out that the Asian dude GA1 was also Korean, and not Chinese (I thought he was Chinese because he never denied when people said that he was Chinese) and GA1 later told me that he saw my texts with my brother and that he discovered I was gay.
G1 : I don't know, but GA1 is Asian! I think he's right..!
G2 : Hey, I dare one of you to sleep in Me's bed tonight!
G3 : You think I can't do it?
G2 : Try it!
G3 : Okay, he's asleep anyway.
I heard him coming near my bed, and then I felt that the blanket was uncovering me. G3 was now lying down next to me, in my bed. This was a single bed, not a double bed, so he was pretty close.
He wanted to play? I wanted to play too. I waited for like 5 seconds, hearing them laugh and saying that he was gonna sleep with a gay guy. And then, I took him in my arms. I back hugged him (Like I was the big spoon) and I felt him freak out. He didn't stand up tho. He just stayed there panicking. I heard him whispering "What do I do?" and I laughed. He went to his bed again still shocked while the 2 others were laughing their ass off in silence. He mumbled to G2 a "Go fuck yourself" and they all stopped talking and we fell asleep.
The funniest night of the week, I'll always remember it. I remember every detail even a year and a half later.
but are you gay or not?
@@leis7454 clearly
That's hilarious
But the real question is....Are you Gay?
Who is geh?
I heard my parents arguing about my dad going to Taco Bell at 1:00 Am and it changed my life...
Infiniite Vlogs damnnnnn
I laughed WAY too much at this comment and I don't even know why
He got the munchies
My friend's dad came over and I was sleeping on the couch, and his dad goes to my dad "I wish my son was more like yours" and my dad goes "I wish I was more like my son when I was young" and that was nice
What I would give to hear that from any of my family. You must really be great!
The driver get pulled over and pretending to sleep is the exact form of "play dumb, NOT THAT DUMB!"
Lessons learnt from this video:
*People are gross, man.*
1:12
Also, dont eat cucumber soup.
My father thought I was asleep and said "I never wanted to have a kid."
Yeah... I felt loved
That is so fucked to hear from a Parent !
Next time whisper in his sleep: I never wanted to have a father. Or: I like mom better.
1:22: hasn't shared with anyone.
Posts on Reddit
Silent0wl01
*My thoughts exactly*
That one didn’t say hasn’t shared with anyone...
We were on a trip and we're sleeping in our trailer, which meant me, my mom, and my dad were on the same bed. I wasnt exactly pretending to be asleep, but I was awake enough to hear and process what was going on.
It was my mom accusing my dad of cheating, which I'm convinced he didn't, and my dad pleading with her that he hadn't and that isn't something he would do.
took a huge emotional toll on me for a while, and the phrase "I swear to you" still makes me wince, because that's all my dad kept repeating
Are they still together?
Damn, that sucks. I'm sorry dude. Are they still together?
@@victorsalinas9275 yeah they are, they resolved it and everything's ok now, but it still really bothers me, especially since I'll never know if he really did or not,,
thank you though, the care means a lot 💞
@@mothsprojects
Well, at least she didn't run into his knife ten times.
@@jaschabull2365 they have a kid. She probably did more then ten times
Why nobody's talking about the "sleeping" driver @8:51???
That one made me cry 🤣
BitterLeif ACTUALLY THOUGH 😂😂😂
THAT WAS THE BEST ONE
That's the best thing I've ever heard. "Sometimes you gotta do messed up shit to not be on fire."
If I had a time machine this would be my senior quote.
My senior quote is, “If WWE is fake, then how come my mom went to the hospital after I power-bombed her through the coffee table?” What do you think?
@@orange_guice legendary
Just some random comment cool but your pfp is even cooler ;)
My senior quote was “its not illegal if the police don’t know.”
@@supermouse73 lolololol
*Should we tell her?*
I never found out what they were talking about.
Medicine :3
Sooo that was a no?
Yup .,.
Medicine :3 -Adopted-
Amy Lacey -Sobs-
Medicine :3 -Not vaccinated-
"Should we tell him he is adopted?"
oof
oof
big L
First read as "aborted".
Big F
Sneezing during sex and then the pretend sleepy guy saying bless you....classic
Ha ha ha ha ha!! Love it.
"Ah man I smell today. You know you get those days where you jump in the shower but just forget to wash?"
"No. I don't. what the hell?!"
BALMAIN RICHARD who tf does that
Once.
BALMAIN RICHARD I got in the shower once before school and forgot to wash my hair.
I mean maybe once but after that you're a lost cause
BALMAIN RICHARD easily done when you're tired af
0:58 made me so happy Oml, I’m currently in a pool of my own tears, I wish I had a mom like that.
@Lil Firbit you're very lucky
I love my mom and she says she loves me but it’s very clear once you meet her she cares about herself more than her only daughter. She always plans vacations without me causing me to stay at my grandmas or dads, she never taught me how to do anything so I can’t do my laundry or cook and our house is really old so she’s the only person I know that can use them but anyway I’m pretty sure she loves our dog more than me
@@irohworshipper my only response at the botomm
Oh shiiiiii-
@@irohworshipper also sorry bout that 😔
Mateo gordillo It’s fine, My dad cares about me a lot so he kinda makes up for it
"You think he's circumcised or not?"
I-
Why they ask though I was confsued
whew
Unrelated, but i thought I should mention at the time of this comment you have 666 likes
Only 1 way to find out
Armyyyy
People who have sex in the same room as someone who's clearly trying to be alone (e.g. sleeping, wearing headphones and facing the other way) are just tacky.
Agreed 🙄
In 2nd grade I had to listen to the creation of my little brother. It was pretty scarring not gonna lie.
Blue Ballistic been there too
Man
Well, if you hear weird noises and have no clue what it could be, that surely can be terrifying.
big oof
Yeah, same, i used to lay next to my parents when they did that when i was young
See, I was never scarred by stuff like that. It just unphases me. But I've heard that stuff too.
"Bless you"
MISSON PASSED
RESPECT+
I was in an inpatient psych ward, along with other people who had tried to kill themselves, or had suicidal tendencies. I'm better now but during that time I wasn't well. I didn't sleep at night.
There weren't really "doors" to the rooms. Just kind of high stall doors but didn't lock or latch, for good reason. (not to say the rooms weren't nice!)
My second night there I still had sleeping problems so I often tossed and turned but ended up not sleeping. There were people patrolling the halls at night but I wasn't aware. I heard two voices and perked up.
"Careful, this one moves at night."
"Creepy."
And some other things I choose not to remember. Literally right outside my door. At the time I wanted to politely tell them I'm still awake and to screw off but I thought better of it. I guess sleeping people with chronic depression and mental disorders were "things" not people to them. It made me second guess all the nice people I saw there and wondered if they saw me as crazy.
Wtf. A lot of people move in their sleep? How is that creepy?
i’m sorry they were so rude to you and the others wth
We all hope you're good now, sometimes the best have the hardest time
Oh my god I went through the exact same experience in a psych ward but I had accidentally tried to kill my self and they put me there for a week and I miss New Year’s 2018 but wow man I’m glad to hear someone else went through this as well I hope ur doing well as am I but there are still triggers from that horrible time
Edit: It was my first and last time trying a drug and i overdosed unintentionally and i almost died, learned the hard way
I too was in a mental crisis unit (for kids) after i had my first suicide attempt. For the most part everyone was nice but similar experience happened to me too. I was in my room with my roomate (we both had horrible sleeping problems) and we overheard them shit talking about how one of the kids had done cocaine with her 20 year old girl friend.
Pretending to be asleep is just something I do all the time. Every time there was a school trip, I'd just close my eyes and be like that for it all.
The amount of shit I heard being talked about me over the years is honestly impressive.
@@potato_x69 I, in fact, am not gay. Though I did get a hear a few comments regarding that.
@@potato_x69, ur mom gay
4:43 I remember a friend told me he saw santa on the roof of his building and then flying down near his window (we were about 5-7)
I told him that it was probably some old guy who killed himself.
He cried for like an hour lol.
Ari Marino LMAO
Omg wtf 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
WHY SANTA? WHYYYYY
Damn
Well, was it?
Me: *(can't sleep for an hour, decided to pretend since parents might catch me)*
Father: she's alseep now, should we continue our session?
*(starts hearing soft moans and the squeaking of bed)*
Me: *(crying)* what the fck did i do to desserve this.
This needs more likes.
This needs more likes.
My parents do this ...
And they say they don't want 10,000 kids
*whispers in ear* armyyy
Gerald the gem golem
Well, they might have a stash of condoms
lol I just said that out loud
I don't understand how people can have sex with other people in the room when its not an open relationship. That's such a private thing...
Idk, people like that have no respect for themselves or their friends tbh.
People in open relationship has no respect for themselves
Judgy much? People are allowed to be selfish, sometimes. Sometimes the party just doesn't have a good room, so they make do.
Sex can be may things. Soft and intimate, dirty and carnal, sloppy, rehearsed, simple, elaborate. It just depends on what the people involved want to make of it.
Keeping a fresh relationship that might not even go anywhere under wraps? Sure. People can have secrets.
I've no respect for cheaters though. Why anyone puts up with that is beyond me.
@@Saiavinn It's just rude and inconsiderate. At the very least, go into a bathroom or something if you really can't control yourselves and wait. Do it somewhere where there aren't people in the same room with you. I don't know how those people can even still do it with other people in the room, its such a mood killer tbh. Then again, I'm just an overworrier so idk. Just have some decency, is what I'm trying to say. Especially when its one of your friends that's in the room with you.
Sometimes you might not see the person again (soon) so why not if the other person is asleep
Well the person asleep gave respect for them (when I say them I meant one of them) by saying bless you xd
6:54 that man honored the bro code. He is a true bro
Carefully, he's a hero.
a hebro
Legend
Woke up to hear my bf at the time flirt with another girl online. Pretended to be asleep to listen to their conversation and make sure I wasn't jumping to conclusions. I wasn't.
@Michael Flores I did and am much happier now 😊
Jacqueline Tsui Glad you did, hope your future will be amazing. 😊
Oof
Press F to pay respects
Wow,what an idiot. I'm glad to read that you moved on tho. You definetly deserve someone better than this.
One thing for the last one
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
used to have a real hard time falling asleep at night, and knew it stressed my mom out. so i couldnt sleep, and when my mom came up to check on me, i just pretended like i was. she feels my heart, kisses me on the cheek, and whispers "finally". cutest shit ever.
Id like to think that instead of being excited to talk about having sex, he was actually excited to talk about washing his hands
@@Netherdrop Its called a joke.
@@Netherdrop You changed your comment. Please don't lie.
@@Netherdrop That spelling "mistake" changed the ENTIRE comment. And you know this. And now you're trying to make me look bad.
You didn't understand the joke. Just accept it.
@@Netherdrop I'm not mad. And I haven't said anything rude.
You're being defensive for no reason.
I merely tried to point out that it was a joke, because you clearly didn't get it.
THAT'S ALL.
Don't make me out to be a bad person. I tried to be nice by pointing out it was a joke. Then you changed your comment to try and make me look bad.
I don't appreciate it.
So don't @ me. If you do, I won't be responding.
Your defensiveness proves you're a child and you clearly don't intend on listening to anything I have to say.
@@yeetpea5302 And now this thread makes less sense since one side of the argument was deleted.
I overheard my dad arguing with my mom about going to the store for milk
He hasn’t come back yet
Gosh man........thats RUFF...
Sorry trying to be happy
@Doggo better find the 18 year long lasting milk right?
Replay Button Dealer that’s what happened to me
Man those Kroger lines I don't blame him
@Doggo ahh ok I heard theres really rare milk and it takes forever to find
the weirdest fake sleep experience i've had was when me, my mom, n my brothers all lived in an apartment a while back.
i was still young then so i shared the bed with my mom.
complained about being tired one night while everyone was partying, so went upstairs and fell asleep.
woke up a few hours later to *my mom and her boyfriend s c r ew in g* right next to me
i was 9 and mortified and i fake slept like my life depended on it
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
That's messed up!
Clonos
it sucked more cause I'm pretty sure that was the same guy who threatened to eat my pet fish
@@catbee4642 okay what the fuck
Is it too late to call CPS
@@Isa-yp2rr no it's not too late
Well, there always has to be at least one Alabama incident.
"Sometimes you gotta do messed-up shit to stay not on fire." Words to live by.
I nearly fell off the seat laughing so hard at that one. :D
Get ready for my story:
My older sister introduced me to one of her friends (who i shall call Hannah) and kind of insisted we go out together, i did not know her at all but when a cute 17 year old girl and the future queen of the underworld (my sister) try to semi-force you into a relationship when all of your mates are single, i shrugged in agreement just for bragging rights.
Fast forward a few weeks into my first relationship Hannah seemed like a pretty cool girl and we had pretty much become friends, and that was as far as it went between us; we did not kiss, hug or hold hands. Every time i saw my mates they would ask "if i hit that yet" and insist that i should, being an easily influenced 16 and feeling peer pressure i nervously decided to ask her about it, almost immediately she shut me down by saying she was saving herself for marriage (her father was a vicar so it made sense) it suited me just fine because life eventually taught me that i am Asexual (which my sister somehow knew).
I was going to leave it at that but since i brought it up Hannah tells me that although she did not want to get physical but still wanted to sleep over anyway, thinking it was the relationship progressing i agreed to it, so did my parents (being the odd hornballs that they are also got me a cake celebrating that i "was becoming a man" but were confused/disappointed when they saw she had a sleeping bag)
eventually night came and despite offering her the bed Hannah insisted on the floor, i was just falling when i heard her whisper "mister ghen? Are you asleep?" I mumbled something back that must have sounded like sleep talk to her because she got up to, i assumed, go to the connecting bathroom, which she did but exited out the other side and into my sisters room where she then spent the next 3 noisy hours.
To make a long story short, he next morning i spoke with the new pair of 'women' and decided i did not want to out my sister, "i" dated her for hannah for 2 years and was "suddenly" dumped for my freshly emerged sister. They live together now, i get along with hannah well enough but there are 2 downsides to the whole situation: 1. I now live my life knowing that i helped my sister lose her virginity, which i know because 2. She gave hannah my piece of the creepy 'maturity' cake while proudly explaining in detail why they deserved it instead.
What a rollercoaster of emotions. Was the marriage first thing a lie then? Your sister tried to get you and Hannah together but then was like fuck it and then got with Hannah instead? I leave this story confused and with many questions.
It was indeed a lie, they were together before i was brought into the situation, neither was willing to come out at the time, in fact hannahs father still has no idea, they wanted to be together but felt it would have been suspicious if she slept in her room, but my sister being the chaotic innovator that she is realised that my room was just a few feet away and i am a heavy sleeper, when i spoke to them the next morning they, came clean about the relationship being a hairbrained scheme and apologized, they looked pretty desperate at the time so i was not mad about it. I'm pretty sure the "saving herself for marriage" was an excuse so we would never try to get intimate but still being able to sleep in my room, but in all honesty i never asked.
Mister Ghen damn dude. If I were in your position, I would probably develop trust issues lol. I personally wouldn’t ever want to be in some grand scheme like that haha. Especially if you were actually into it and wanted to be with her or something, that would suck.
Wingman of the year
Ryan Johnson *ALABAMA INTENSIFIES*
Me: **fake sleeping**
Mom: She barely does anything around the house what should we do with her
Me: **opens one eye**
Talkin' shit?
*ExcuSe Me DeaRtH MoThA ThOu I HeaR yOuTh TalKiNg ShaTih?*
“you did wash your hands, right?” *Legend*
that moment when u want to like the comment but the likes are at 69
@@samcho8752 comeback, Now its more than 69.
Wait what kind of church camp would let boys and girls sleep in the same room...?
Was wondering the same, that's like a massive red flag
One of those progressive churches... kinda like "cool mom" parties where they let the kids get hammered in a safe environment.
Well after it became common knowledge that everyone has had a gay experience at summer camp...
@Lana Joy uhm... No 😂
@@JzenCipher umm, yes. You dont have to tell anyome avout one of the things, the other will announce itself in 9 months...
Once I was pretending to be asleep my mother and dad where talking about throwing out all my sketchbooks
*SLEEPING INTENSIFIES*
Touch an artist's sketchbook without permission, you're dead
😱How could they??!!
I👏would👏kill👏them👏
I would "wake up" and start shouting. I 👏 don't👏 care 👏 what time it is! I WILL shout at ANYONE who tries to touch my schetchbooks. ANYONE. TRY ME.
Courtney Stubaus that would be bad for me
Something I heard......
Mom on the phone: uh huh so, Jerry how much does the kid cost?
Turns out she was drunk and ordering me an American girl doll
I am 29
Omgggg...😂😂😂😂
BTSARMY 1 hai Army 😂💜
@@TonyMontana-si5ek hiiiii.....are u going to see the movie...bring the soul ?
BTSARMY 1 you bet I am 😂💜 wouldn’t miss it for the world 💜 are you? X
@@TonyMontana-si5ek yeah same I am going day after tomorrow 😁😁😁😆😆😆😆😆 I'm so excited...
Me: *trying to sleep because I have an exam at 8 AM*
Roommate: Shhh, don’t worry. My roommate’s asleep, he won’t even hear us.
Me: *hears the unzipping of pants* -_-
I would've been like. "Hey like can yall do that quietly" to kill the mood and she'll leave. Boom have good sleep and fail exam anyways
@@EpicTacoSenpai you could never be a wingman...
...and that’s when you feel a sudden poke...
@@calebrichardson3714 lmao
@@calebrichardson3714 *Delete that or we will have a little problem*
1% stuff about parents
0.5% stuff about other stuff
100% people f***ing
wow thx for r/wooosh-ing people in the replies nobody has ever done that before on amy of my comments
bruh thats 101.5%
@@yungbagel5686 r/wooosh
Thomas Meeker r/woooosh
@@m5d1e That's the joke
@@FBIIlIlIlIIlIl r/wooosh
The one where the guy said bless you was the real MVP.
Me:Fake sleeping
Friend :Let’s put a bottle cap up his butt!
Me: WoAh HoLd Up! Needless to say I didn’t sleep at all
Special victims unit
Chloe Bum
LOL
I think a good subreddit would be: what thing did u try to go cheap on, that ended up costing you way more than it should have
Squangel Nutz rrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Tide Pods ate too many I see
Tryna save money on computer parts. Ended up costing me to buy a whole entire computer pretty much
Do U know what a subreddit is?
Gosh that would be sooo much...
I remember when I was six sevenths
i was hoping i'd see this comment
Ten tenths, would read this comment again.
Charlotte Cumberbatch same it was a weird time
I remeber it too man those were the days
Ahh six sevenths the happiest time of my life.
Not his father's brother, but *his mother's brother*
-Excuse me what now? 🤮🤢
Sweet Home Alabama.
LANNISTER'D
Moon Luna incest
*ALABAMA 100*
his uncle in mother side. mother and her mother's brother. incest
He sneezed I immediately responded bless you I was dying for 10 minutes 🤣🤣🤣😆🤣😆🤣👍👍
I had just woken up from a sleepover at my girlfriends. I was on the couch next to the loveseat that they would pull up to play Xbox. I heard her talking to one of her online friends while playing a game. I didn't want to sit there and be a third wheel so I kept my eyes closed and I heard her say "oh my girlfriends over. She's asleep right now. She looks adorable when she sleeps."
A bit later she went to the kitchen so I silently got up and blocked her off in the doorway and said "so I'm cute when I'm sleeping?"
She was so flustered.
Wolf The Hidden Pup that’s so adorable
Wholesome.
@CoopGaming was nice until I saw your comment.
@@cooperkoliba And why is there a problem with her being lesbian?
That's so adorable omg
I heard my parents talking to their friends and overheard the following about my father:
"He's really confident and passionate when we're actually having sex, but whenever we watch porn together he's always really giddy and shy"
Oh damn lol
🤣🤣🤣
Dang.... I mean I won't judge but like... WHY DO I WANT THESE PARENTS?! I HAVE ISSUSS
I was at a sleepover and pretended to be asleep and heard my friend say to another to pull my boxers off and that’s how we found out he was gay.
Good times
Why did they want to do that tho? Lmao
@@goriantheboi8044 because he was gay.
@@beanus9471 im get it but im gay and i dont just pull peoples pants down thats just weird
@@goriantheboi8044 Not every gay person has the same personality as you think.
@@beanus9471 yea i know but doing that while someone is asleep is still wrong
My mum on the phone saying oh I left the money down stairs...
... I was waiting for the tooth fairy that night
Evelyn O'Brien 😂😂
@Evelyn O'Brien *YeS*
Parent: He has a nice build
Kid: *trying so hard not to smile*
Lmaooooo 😂😂😂😂😂
"Santa was our dog" I FOKIN KNEW IT!!!!
I thought it was a robber tbh
when i was about 5 i remember i was pretending to be asleep on my grandmas couch (it was late and i didnt want to get in trouble) and i heard my grandma tell my aunt (who is 7 years older than me) to pick me up n take me to her bed. she complained but picked me up. on the way to her bed she hit my foot on one of the hallway walls while turning the corner. she jerked me the other way and hit my head!! the whole time i still pretended to be asleep out of fear of geting in trouble. she just whispered “omg im so sorry....” and put me on the bed. i told her years later that i knew what she did that day and we still laugh about it 16 years later. 😂😂
Me: *FAKE* *SLEEPING*
Mom: *TAPS* *ME* are you awake?
Me:..............
Mom & big sis: puberty talk
I was 7....
Damn that sucks
When I was very little, in year 5 (what I'm guessing is 4th Grade) they told us about puberty, what happens during it and the reproductive organs (basically 'the talk,' but in school); and made us fill out comprehension sheets about it. We were told EXPLICITLY: "Pick up and throw all your sheets away in the recycling bin, because the year 2's (what I'm guessing is 1st grade) will be using this studio after us. However, in a hurry to leave, we accidentally spilled the sheets on the ground. No one noticed, so when the next class came in and began to read the sheets... well we had some explaining to do to the teachers.
"When I was six sevenths"
Well ok
I know I can remember being less than a year old too
😂😂😂😂
they meant around like 6 or 7, if you dont get it..
ᴘᴇᴀᴄʜʏ ᴛᴀᴇ r/woosh
Jack Franklin gammaboy
I heard my grandma drop a fried egg and scream man down.
Epic
wow
That sounds just like my mom 😆🤣
that is adorable
That made me laugh harder than it should have.
Well I'm not gonna do weird stuff near sleeping ppl while I'm next to them, I don't want them to see my great Minecraft creations they might get ideas
Edit: also testing if the person is awake or not is bs it doesn't work
Kyle Calderon depends on how you check, a good hard kick to the ribs always seem to reveal that they are actually awake
@@Spook-hk8sc lol could counter react with the test LMAO
Spook 1918 I hear it takes a truly excruciating amount of pain to wake someone up from sleep, so yeah, a quick kick to the ribs should expose the fake sleepers.
Just tickle them.
Kyle Calderon just sit and stare at them. Make no noise. Make it seem like you've either died or silently left the room. Absolutely no sound. Then they'll probably open their eyes to check where you are
When I was pretending to be asleep
I overheard I was a mistake but like ig its alright
🤣🤣🤣
You me and most all of this generation. Lol
I wish I was a mistake. My parents have three mistakes together- they only had kids tryi ng for a girl -and stopped after me (well.. my mom did..)
I've been derectly told that soooo many times
@@keith2253 that's rough
So that last one, they went upstairs together.
That automatically means they had sex?
*Matthew Noneya* I assumed they were gonna play Halo3.
Guy Shepard 😂
Secret mini-golf course
It was probably a Euphemism
It was implied
When you were on your DS in bed and your parents walk in to check on you and you quickly put the ds under your pillow. Anyone else?
Or other devices, yes.
Yep
I got caught twice when i was younger..
rip DS
@@nikkoh15 Feels bad man XD
@@tzime What happened to it?
“Turns Out it was his uncle”
I guess your brother is better with your wife
“Not his fathers brother, his mothers brother”
Everyday we stray father from gods light
Yep
*legit the oppisite of destiny*
Mine is when I was hanging out with a group of girls and they had a “squad” or something I really wanted to be in and so we went to some concert thing and on the car ride home I laid my head down and then I heard one of them say “is she asleep?” And so they tested to see if I was and I pretended I was so I could hear what they where going to say, they basically took a vote if I should be in the squad or not and all of them said no except one :/ they said I was annoying and a brat but I was very shy and barely talked so they are dumb ig, also it was in 5th grade so idrc anymore but let me tell you, I was crushed ;-(
That stuff really gets you when you're young too ahah