The First Ex-Mormons Who Helped Me
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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My wife and I have been deconstructing for the past 7 months since she had back surgery. Being a member for 75 years has made it difficult to accept the fact that the churches narrative is based on untruths. Some of our children have left the church in the past and we can talk to them. We live in Meadows Valley, near McCall, Idaho. Our nonmember friends have been understanding and helpful. The process of leaving is a greif process. The stages of grief return over again after you have thought you had dealt with them. We appreciate your podcast. Thank You
Stay strong! Be gentle with yourself and forgive yourself. You came with honorable intentions and they took advantage of you. They are at fault.
You and your wife are Rockstars! To have been in the church for 75 years, and THEN to go through a faith transition takes courage and a willingness to seek the truth!
I call you rock stars because that is what my niece's husband called me when he found out I was already in my 50s when I went through my faith transition.
This is a hard and painful journey, but so worth it! Overcoming decades of conditioning doesn't happen overnight.
Thanks for your encouragement.
May God bless your efforts and you new direction ❤, and may God give your heart the desire for more truth, .. like the whole 8th day Catholic creation day worship Doctrine.
God bless you 💝💝💝.
Meadows Valley is beautiful!!!
~From Boise
I was meeting with the missionaries when I accidentally discovered your channel. I was having many doubts but you discussed racism in the Mormon church which led me to do lots of research! And the more I read the more that I realized how false the Mormon church was. So you saved me! Thank you.
Give credit where credit is due, ... Jesus 💝💝💝.
Church means congregation, assembly, alo means "Calling out". Calling out of what? Babylon?
Glad you caught on before it was too late or harder to get out!
Deconversion is a difficult process. And it's agonizing when you have your family choose their religion over you.
@@jberndt88 I've heard these beliefs referred to as "self sealing." That is that almost no matter what you say or do you're not going to win because their minds are already made up that there is no valid reason for ever leaving the church.
Wow, lots of goodwill. Great video, Lex!
Not a Mormon, but I have attended a few times, when invited by LDS co-workers. Boring was my overall impression. Everything was at an eighth-grade reading level. Not appealing at all. Same impression of the Jehovah's Witnesses.
I think the moment when I finally had the realization it wasn't true was when I watched videos of 1.) Hinckley telling Larry King that polygamy was never doctinal, and then him saying the opposite to members in other videos, and 2.) Elder Holland saying it's okay to lie if it helps the church.
Do you know the date it was posted? Wayback Machine has a lot of r/exmoron archived.
As someone who has been in the exmormon community since 2005 I can say that it’s a very transitional group. There’s great people and some not so good.
Sounds like someone going on a drug treatment journey
Anytime I hear someone say "I left the church because I read the ces letter" I immediately know they have no idea what they are talking about. The ces letter has been debunked many times.
Not really. And do you know why it was written? And how the CES responded? Do you know what happened to Jeremy Runnells? It's all public information. You don't have to dig very hard if you really want to know.
“Debunked” I challenge you to read and debunk it yourself
Edit to correct spelling
Oh really - do give more specifics…
I've been out about 8 years and I still have yet to read the CES Letter. I left the church because my mental and emotional wellbeing was not being taken seriously. I was born and raised in the church. In my early to mid 20's, I was struggling with depression and just finding where I belonged as an unmarried woman. I finally reached out for help because the depression was escalating. The response I got was, in essence, "Just stop being sad. Pray and read your scriptures." Then they stuck me in the nursery. When I reached out again to ask to be released because the time was changing to 9 am, the Bishop told me, "If the pioneers can cross the plains, you can get up for 9 am church."
@@knitandcatboodle So people in the church didn't do exactly what you wanted them to do so you left the church?
Jesus himself could come down and tell these people that the church is not true, they would still not believe it 😮
He left plenty of signs….
Many
Ikr, all TBMs would be like "this is just a test... yeah, he's just testing us!"
@@djvee25 so true! Lol
It's a wild journey. Most people remember the exact moment they realized, it is all false and I'm done. Most former Mormons are surprised by the backlash from people they thought who loved them. I left 16 years ago, and this still represents the most jaw-dropping reality of choosing to leave a toxic organization.
I understand how this felt except when I left the church I had no one to support me. After my dad found out I told him the reasons why I left (mainly the information that I found from your videos) then he left the church as well. thank you for helping me see the truth about the church! you are amazing!!
My old bishop went to the hospital and I went to visit him after I left the church. He asked me why ex-mormon's feel the need to gravitate toward each other. He honestly did not understand. I guess it is one of those things you understand better when you go through it. You want to be around people who understand your outlook on life.
Same reason believing Mormons gather around one another!
It’s baffling how LDS members don’t understand that nonmembers or those leaving the church don’t reach out to one another for support.
@@jberndt88 I do t quite understand what you mean. I’ve lived in and out of Utah. When I get together with anyone there is always a purpose as to why. If you mean they get together because one person has an agenda that the other is unaware of, then I can agree with your comment. Otherwise, I don’t follow…
If you also mean that Mormons get together simply because they’re mormon, then yes, I saw (and still see that). I was one who was like “why do I have to be friends with these people just because we’re in the same building for 3 hours each week?!”
@@jberndt88 awww. Ok, yes agreed. Glad when I lived there I hung out with friends who kept from doing those things. Though you are very correct, every blue moon I was on the other side of getting blindsided with that stuff. And I see it when I come to work in Utah and throw up a little in my mouth every time.
Thank you for the clarification. 👍🏻
It seems as though your Mormon deconstruction has bred a vital more exuberant spirituality. Congratulations to you and your husband.
I'm nevermo but was raised fundamentalist evangelical xtian. My childhood absolutely sucked because of it. I've only started to deconstruct the last few years tho.
I get comfort from hearing people who have escaped similar high-demand organizations and seeing the parallels to my own life; they've moved to better places in their lives, I can too!
The immediate feeling of wishing for blissful ignorance is so real, and feeling freedom of no regrets later on is just as real.
One day, in 2019, I got on google to look up a question I had about masonry and how it related to temple worship etc, I truly stumbled upon things, it wasn’t like I was trying to become exmormon, and I wasn’t planning a lesson either, it was totally random and shocking 😢
I remember feeling literally lighter as if I had been carrying bags of rocks around and then dropping the bags. Mental burdens hurt. I didn’t know that until they were gone.
You're actually one of the first ExMos I found! I started watching your content in 2021, and last year I finally hopped on TikTok and I LOVE all the ExMos there. I'm much happier now, although I have so many regrets that I'm trying to get over. I feel like I wasted my 20s, so I'm doing my best to spend my 30s authentically.
Awesome sweater
The start of my deconstruction was being lied to about the translation of the BOM. In my mission we taught people Joseph Smith translated the gold plates right in front of him. Later I learned he put a rock in his hat and stuck his head in the hat. Thanks for sharing and being a support. Its not easy in the deconstruction process, but it's nice to have a support group.
Just wanted to say thank you for being there from video 1 with me! You are the only exmo influencer Ive stuck with since. I wanted to leave a few years prior to 2018 but didn’t have a good community to validate my feelings, and you really helped me out in teaching me the history of the church and verbalizing feelings I’ve had. It’s so crazy it’s been 5 years. You rock!
I've just barely started cleaning up the mess from my broken shelf and it's been so hard. My shelf broke about 8 or so years ago. I didn't really process it other than "oh man! that shelf is broken!" I changed religions and just moved on. 'It's all in the past,' I said to myself. I've been working through things in therapy the last couple years and I kept expressing these ideas and beliefs about myself that I just knew weren't true. I started digging deeper and found the broken shelf. It feels like I'm going through leaving all over again. I've been able to find some resources here on UA-cam and everyone I've come across has just been so loving and kind. Thank you for sharing and for validating the struggle of losing an entire world view.
5:40 I know the feeling! It is pretty much the death of your former identity/belief system.
When I first opened up to my wife about questions/doubts I was having about the church (and religion in general), she threatened to leave and take my children away from me. I’ve had to struggle in silence. It’s been almost 2 years. I’ve never felt so alone.
I am so so sorry 😞 That is truly awful!
@@ExmoLex your original is in the waybackmachine,
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Posted byu/foxyloxy93
3 days ago
Almost an ex-Mormon... and I need help.
Hey all. I have been like an ostrich with its head in the sand for a few years. I would see negative comments or things like that about the church online, and I’d ignore it. I literally would click away and I purposely avoided “anti-Mormon” anything. That’s what we are told to do! I was trying to do the right thing. They tell us it’s all Satan trying to lead us astray.
[removed as per your video]
After I found out about the depression and him questioning the church (and after a few “back of my mind, top of the shelf” questions I had) I finally decided to read the infamous CES Letter I had been avoiding... simply because I wanted to HELP. I figured it was probably something only people with weak testimonies left over. I was wrong. It was a starting point, but from there I’ve read and listened to so much more. I no longer believe the BOM is true. I believe Joseph Smith was a false prophet. I feel like I’ve been misled and lied to my whole life, not to mention stolen from as I’ve given money to the church in tithing when we literally couldn’t afford to buy groceries. I feel like I was in a cult.
As you can imagine, I’ve really been struggling... it’s only been a week. But all of my family, and all of my husband’s family are members. I know they can’t know/won’t know right away that we are no longer going to church, but they will find out eventually. I’m a 6-7 generation Mormon. I feel like this will literally kill my grandparents (of whom I have 6 still living). My mom would be broken-hearted. My in-laws will lose their minds. My brother-in-law just left on a mission and I want him to know the truth and come back now. I have four small children, and their grandparents are going to be in shock and incredibly sad. I don’t know what to do! We don’t have to say anything right away, but eventually it’s going to happen and I have no idea how to approach it. Truth be told, I want to word vomit on everyone and tell them all I’ve learned so they can leave the church too, but I know that’s not how it works. The church is too ingrained in their lives. I’ve been crying every day myself... it’s so much to take in when your ENTIRE LIFE and everything you’ve done is based on a lie.
I won’t change that much in all reality. I still feel no desire to drink/smoke/etc. I have a clean mouth and probably always will. I’m completely faithful to my husband. But hey, maybe I’ll get a tattoo. 😏 I just need advice and comfort from people who have been there. I feel very lost and very alone. I don’t want to be associated with the church anymore, but I have a lot of friends and ALL of my family there. I still have 4 kids to raise (and I want them to still have good morals and values). Should we officially resign? Can we do that for our children too? Should I give it more time? I have no desire to attend, and I stopped paying tithing.
I don’t know exactly where this is going, I just know I’ve really been blindsided by all this information and I feel so hurt inside. Help if you can. xo
OMG. Friend. I’m so sorry. This turns everything up side down. Just be confident that you’re not alone. Your wife needs to be slowly brought to the same point of awareness as yourself. Remember it took years to brainwash you. Slowly involving you in there programs. For example. I had to teach primary to 4 year olds, when I was 8. I realize now that the brainwashing was as much for me as it was for the smaller children. Please treat your wife with love and care and so very slowly ( be creative ) make information available revealing the churches duplicity to her. The very best way to teach someone is to put them in a position, where they feel that they had come up with the idea or conclusion on their own.
It feels so strange to listen to these life deconstructions... I am one of the lucky ones who has never had to go through such a process and I have no idea if I would have had the courage.
UT Lighthouse with Jerold&Sandra Tanner SLC UT ❤❤
Back in the day they were being sued by LD$
Love the sweater!
Still with you darling! No mo'. 40 year process to breaking completely free.
🎉
I remember meeting with a local support group when I first left. Although I longer need that group, several of those people have become my closest friends.
just fyi there are sites that backup every comment a username has ever made on reddit. I don't think UA-cam will let me post links but if you find one, put in your username and it will show everything you ever said
Yay 🎉I’m early 💞
This is now video #45 i have watched. You are a very beautiful and amazing Lady. Your strength and beauty shines for sure. Being a Mormon or what ever faith does not make you the person you are. I have seen many of many faiths that are UGLY people inside. I hope your family will see you for the wonderful Lady you are. I will say this to your Husband. You are a VERY lucky Man. You better hold on to that Lady with all you are or ever will be and cherish Her. Take care Dear sweet Lady
Part of my long journey of recover is that I've had to do every step of the extraction process on my own. My parents weren't members and left it up to me to leave on my own accord. Twenty years later I'm still dealing with the social setbacks from just 3 years in the church.
The Satanic Temple might be something you should check out
I guess what it all comes down to is the difference between a religion and a cult is what happens when you try to leave. Other than that they have several crossovers which can make it really difficult to navigate those waters. I'm glad people were there for you
How many subs do you have were lex Mormons almost 4 years now.
❤
Almost exactly how I felt when I left the Religion of Atheism and joined Christianity after trying to Bunk the book of Daniel. 🤯🤯🤯
Boy is this a wild ride I'm in, lol.
God bless you and your departure and may He bless your heart to desire more.
💝💝💝
The /exmormon Subreddit was my only place of solace for a long time. So glad it’s been as helpful to you and so many others. Love all of your content 👏/FaithfulTBM