I met my international friends at work. Even though I think that I am a typical German they say that I am not. I just tried to be welcoming as they might not know a lot of people and then suddenly you find yourself on weddings in romania and mexico 😍. But what I can say is that we have different levels. Like you will go from Fremde(r) to Bekannte(r) to Freund(in). and If you are in the friend circle its hard to get out anymore. If you are in such a circle you possible can call them in the middle of the night and they will do anything possible for you.
Yes definitely, once you get into the "inner circle" of a German they are extremely loyal friends for life! Great to hear you connected with some amazing friends through work :)
Very good description of the levels. Example: A few days ago I visited a party at the company I left about 20 years ago. 5 hours into the party most of the people had left. All the remaining 20 or so had been working with me 30 years ago, had taken part in my "Polterabend", and would only be considered "gute Bekannte". "Freunde" are those that come over at 4am to babysit our daughter while her sibling was born. Or those, that travel here from China to partake at my birthday party.
Some good adivce! For me the anxiety before going is 10x worse than when I'm actually at the meets and settle in. I always think i was silly for feeling that anxious. And then it reapeats. But like you say, you've got to be proactive. In a different country where less people know you, its essential because having or not having friends will make or break your experience.
I'll let you in on a secret: we Germans are not reserved, we are shy. We don't want to bother others, but when someone makes the first move towards us and breaks the ice, we are as grateful as a dog in an animal shelter. I know this because I drove a taxi for 15 years. Whenever I - conquering my own introversion - started a real conversation, not small talk, mind you, every single one of my customers opened up and we had the best ride together, sometimes we even continued talking for a good while at their destination.
I would like to emphasize the clubs (Vereine). Every cits has an own homepage where all clubs in the city are listed, sports clubs, singing clubs, marksman confraternities, ... Entering a club, with like minded people is very good to come in contact and a chance to improve you German. I tried to explain the Volkshochschule a few weeks ago.
The running gag is that there are more Vereine/social clubs than Germany has people. BTW: if you're wondering how to pronounce it: fair-i-na (with an almost silent, very short a at the end) as per English pronunciation. Even though it is a bit exaggerated it's not tooooo far off. So many Germans are in multiple Vereine at the same time.
One tip for communicating with Germans: be honest and genuine. Fake smiles or similar don't go over well. That doesn't mean to be rude or insulting; just give an honest opinion if asked, direct and to the point. Don't beat around the bush. A 'yeah, no, I'm undecided ' opinion isn't seen as too favorable. Oh, and don't be insulted if a German tells you if you ask them for a certain time and date to meet them, and they say no. That just means they don't have time at that specific time slot, not that they don't like you. Germans tend to be very punctual, pünktlich in German. So if you set a date and time be there on time. If something unforeseen happens inform them via Whatsapp or another info channel. Don't just ghost them; that's seen as very rude. If you can't come try to give them a heads-up before they're likely to leave to meet you. They're gonna appreciate that a lot and usually will just wave off any concerns you might have. Try not to do it AFTER being late. The earlier you do it, the better. Well, as you can see from me droning on punctuality is very important to us Germans. Cheerio and have fun making some friends.😊👍
Strange-- when hearing you, i would much more suggest, i would listen to a German , speaking english. Did already adopt that from learning an speaking German?
Hey there, I agree with the most Tipps/Hints with one Exception: PLEASE DON'T search for "Neue Mädels/new Girls" in Germany! Prostitution is legal here, you can imagine where this Search will lead to, i guess that wasn't the Intention... In Germany the most (younger) People live in Condos/Flats. So i recomment inviting your Neighbors and Collegues to the typical "Kaffee & Kuchen" ("Coffee & Cake" with Cake from a local Bakery at about 3PM until 5PM is very common) or to a small BBQ-Dinner. If you have muslim Neighbors/Collegues ask them to bring something or serve Chicken, but make sure Pork will get on the Grill AS LAST and on an extra Plate to not offend them or their Religion. Almost every German under 50 can speak at least a few Words english if you struggle with the german Language. The Benefit is to know your Neighbors, learn social Rules here or the general Behave/Rules of your Condo/Flat or your Workplace and avoid the german Stare at least near the Place you life/work... If you life in a smaller Town or Village i recomment joining a Club --> Verein, a Choir --> Chor or Gesangsverein (Singing Club) or join the local FIREFIGHTERS. In more rural Areas or small Towns the Volunteer Fire Brigade (Freiwillige Feuerwehr) is the biggest and best networked Club you can find, often Volunteering is honored by at least the Elder. We also have Schützenvereine (Shooting Clubs), but don't expect large Gun-Caliber or big Outdoor shooting Ranges! For owning a Gun/Rifle or for huntig (jagen) & fishing (fischen or angeln) you'll need a License, I guess a Member of those Clubs will tell you how to get one. We often have Selbsthilfegruppen (Self-help Groups/Support Groups) for almost every Occasion imaginable. I'm Member of a Depression-Group. Don't feel ashame to join such a Group, you'll help them and they'll help you somehow, everybody was "the Newby" once and everybody is there out of similar Reasons...
Hey, I'm pretty sure Facebook would flag such content as inappropriate but good to exercise caution I suppose. Other than that, great extra tips you wrote here :)
![How to MAKE FRIENDS in Germany - [TIPS & Cultural Background]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/iMoqVgmqL8E/mqdefault.jpg)
![How to MAKE FRIENDS in Germany - [TIPS & Cultural Background]](/img/tr.png)
I met my international friends at work. Even though I think that I am a typical German they say that I am not. I just tried to be welcoming as they might not know a lot of people and then suddenly you find yourself on weddings in romania and mexico 😍.
But what I can say is that we have different levels. Like you will go from Fremde(r) to Bekannte(r) to Freund(in). and If you are in the friend circle its hard to get out anymore. If you are in such a circle you possible can call them in the middle of the night and they will do anything possible for you.
Yes definitely, once you get into the "inner circle" of a German they are extremely loyal friends for life! Great to hear you connected with some amazing friends through work :)
Very good description of the levels. Example: A few days ago I visited a party at the company I left about 20 years ago. 5 hours into the party most of the people had left. All the remaining 20 or so had been working with me 30 years ago, had taken part in my "Polterabend", and would only be considered "gute Bekannte". "Freunde" are those that come over at 4am to babysit our daughter while her sibling was born. Or those, that travel here from China to partake at my birthday party.
Some good adivce! For me the anxiety before going is 10x worse than when I'm actually at the meets and settle in. I always think i was silly for feeling that anxious.
And then it reapeats. But like you say, you've got to be proactive. In a different country where less people know you, its essential because having or not having friends will make or break your experience.
Some great points here!
I'll let you in on a secret: we Germans are not reserved, we are shy. We don't want to bother others, but when someone makes the first move towards us and breaks the ice, we are as grateful as a dog in an animal shelter. I know this because I drove a taxi for 15 years. Whenever I - conquering my own introversion - started a real conversation, not small talk, mind you, every single one of my customers opened up and we had the best ride together, sometimes we even continued talking for a good while at their destination.
I definitely agree, once the ice is broken Germans are great conversationalists
I would like to emphasize the clubs (Vereine).
Every cits has an own homepage where all clubs in the city are listed, sports clubs, singing clubs, marksman confraternities, ...
Entering a club, with like minded people is very good to come in contact and a chance to improve you German.
I tried to explain the Volkshochschule a few weeks ago.
The running gag is that there are more Vereine/social clubs than Germany has people.
BTW: if you're wondering how to pronounce it: fair-i-na (with an almost silent, very short a at the end) as per English pronunciation.
Even though it is a bit exaggerated it's not tooooo far off. So many Germans are in multiple Vereine at the same time.
Would like to listen to your german skills🙂
One tip for communicating with Germans: be honest and genuine. Fake smiles or similar don't go over well. That doesn't mean to be rude or insulting; just give an honest opinion if asked, direct and to the point. Don't beat around the bush.
A 'yeah, no, I'm undecided ' opinion isn't seen as too favorable.
Oh, and don't be insulted if a German tells you if you ask them for a certain time and date to meet them, and they say no. That just means they don't have time at that specific time slot, not that they don't like you.
Germans tend to be very punctual, pünktlich in German. So if you set a date and time be there on time. If something unforeseen happens inform them via Whatsapp or another info channel. Don't just ghost them; that's seen as very rude. If you can't come try to give them a heads-up before they're likely to leave to meet you. They're gonna appreciate that a lot and usually will just wave off any concerns you might have. Try not to do it AFTER being late. The earlier you do it, the better. Well, as you can see from me droning on punctuality is very important to us Germans.
Cheerio and have fun making some friends.😊👍
Strange-- when hearing you, i would much more suggest, i would listen to a German , speaking english. Did already adopt that from learning an speaking German?
Could be, maybe since I was thinking a lot about Germany and my own memories there while filming, I was on Deutsch Modus lol
@@MeghanAbroad😂 the Denglisch is strong in you.
How are you doing today
Hi Dear
Hey there,
I agree with the most Tipps/Hints with one Exception: PLEASE DON'T search for "Neue Mädels/new Girls" in Germany! Prostitution is legal here, you can imagine where this Search will lead to, i guess that wasn't the Intention...
In Germany the most (younger) People live in Condos/Flats. So i recomment inviting your Neighbors and Collegues to the typical "Kaffee & Kuchen" ("Coffee & Cake" with Cake from a local Bakery at about 3PM until 5PM is very common) or to a small BBQ-Dinner. If you have muslim Neighbors/Collegues ask them to bring something or serve Chicken, but make sure Pork will get on the Grill AS LAST and on an extra Plate to not offend them or their Religion. Almost every German under 50 can speak at least a few Words english if you struggle with the german Language. The Benefit is to know your Neighbors, learn social Rules here or the general Behave/Rules of your Condo/Flat or your Workplace and avoid the german Stare at least near the Place you life/work...
If you life in a smaller Town or Village i recomment joining a Club --> Verein, a Choir --> Chor or Gesangsverein (Singing Club) or join the local FIREFIGHTERS. In more rural Areas or small Towns the Volunteer Fire Brigade (Freiwillige Feuerwehr) is the biggest and best networked Club you can find, often Volunteering is honored by at least the Elder. We also have Schützenvereine (Shooting Clubs), but don't expect large Gun-Caliber or big Outdoor shooting Ranges! For owning a Gun/Rifle or for huntig (jagen) & fishing (fischen or angeln) you'll need a License, I guess a Member of those Clubs will tell you how to get one.
We often have Selbsthilfegruppen (Self-help Groups/Support Groups) for almost every Occasion imaginable. I'm Member of a Depression-Group. Don't feel ashame to join such a Group, you'll help them and they'll help you somehow, everybody was "the Newby" once and everybody is there out of similar Reasons...
Hey, I'm pretty sure Facebook would flag such content as inappropriate but good to exercise caution I suppose. Other than that, great extra tips you wrote here :)