5 Psychological Tricks Bullies Use (And How To Stop Them)

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  • @jonijokunen3542
    @jonijokunen3542 4 роки тому +2510

    It's sad how sensitive and gentle people usually get bullied the most

    • @kenhoward3512
      @kenhoward3512 4 роки тому +286

      Bullies deliberately and immediately zero-in on them to satisfy their twisted needs.

    • @spenser9908
      @spenser9908 4 роки тому +139

      @@kenhoward3512 They get bullied for being too sensitive. Change that and you won't get bullied. Pretty straight-forward.

    • @thecozyconstellation
      @thecozyconstellation 4 роки тому +243

      because bullies are cowards.

    • @spenser9908
      @spenser9908 4 роки тому +35

      lunatika So are people who don’t stand up to bullies.
      Plus, is Butcher really a coward? He stood up to Homelander.

    • @marksilla8276
      @marksilla8276 4 роки тому +215

      @@spenser9908 Why focus on the bully when you can blame the victims.

  • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
    @QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 роки тому +2009

    “Remember...Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.”
    ― Ziad K. Abdelnour

    • @isaacvance5090
      @isaacvance5090 4 роки тому +18

      AcidDome really want that top reply, huh? You’re replying like crazy.

    • @martinfiedler4317
      @martinfiedler4317 4 роки тому +6

      @AcidDome She just want's to create awareness for her channel.

    • @Leto85
      @Leto85 4 роки тому +3

      '(...) Whever is trying to bring you down is already below you.'
      So much for equality, eh?
      No, whoever is trying to bring you down, needs help. Bullying is for the scarved and mentally hurt people. That doesn't make them less worthy.

    • @thumbsup3397
      @thumbsup3397 4 роки тому

      @Leto85 Sir, this isnt his quote. Its someone else's quote ಠ,_」ಠ

    • @thumbsup3397
      @thumbsup3397 4 роки тому

      @AcidDome Are you *_NOT_* gonna talk about the fact that you are also spamming? You're putting the *_SAME_* reply in *_ALL OF HIS COMMENTS_* . So you're basically spamming on a spammer 🤦

  • @NH-ly7zc
    @NH-ly7zc 4 роки тому +451

    “Wait until they apologize”? I have never known a bully to do this without being a requirement

    • @XiaolinDraconis
      @XiaolinDraconis 4 роки тому +52

      He mentioned early on that it may not be their intention to bully you, that's the type of person who would apologize.

    • @dunnowy123
      @dunnowy123 4 роки тому +33

      I'm assuming he's talking about adults, who tend to be somewhat more socially calibrated.

    • @DeterminedGoat
      @DeterminedGoat 4 роки тому +9

      Yeah it's also funny that he doesn't take the option that they go ahead and call you whatever disrespectful name again into account.

    • @TheFuschiaDragonfly
      @TheFuschiaDragonfly 4 роки тому +17

      Nine times out of ten the teacher will ask YOU to apologize because you don't fit in

    • @rolliemcsplat7618
      @rolliemcsplat7618 4 роки тому +1

      N H just watch season 2 of The Boys, apologies happen after the bully sees what he has done.

  • @Vincent-qh7zz
    @Vincent-qh7zz 4 роки тому +302

    Dude: I don’t know where you grew up, but bullies don’t apologize.

    • @CLEYENTE_JUANDER9
      @CLEYENTE_JUANDER9 3 роки тому +2

      They do. If you let them do.

    • @Potatofella
      @Potatofella 3 роки тому +6

      i dont know where you grew up but bullies were never an issue
      a bully mocks you mock him back
      if you cant
      violance

    • @Potatofella
      @Potatofella 3 роки тому

      @Dark Aster facts

  • @User-54631
    @User-54631 4 роки тому +615

    I responded to bully’s in school with extreme violence. One took my backpack so I hit him in head with a chair. The 2nd bully I hit with a baseball bat in the ribs. After that nobody really messed with me.

    • @User-54631
      @User-54631 4 роки тому +183

      My philosophy is “Don’t start nothing won’t be nothing.” Never started a fight in my life. Violence should always be a last option. The thing is that it is a option and it works.

    • @darwinmontoya7564
      @darwinmontoya7564 4 роки тому +42

      Wow your so fuckin tough arent you

    • @nihilism6226
      @nihilism6226 4 роки тому +50

      John Morris Don't start fights yourself, but always end them. Permanently.

    • @darwinmontoya7564
      @darwinmontoya7564 4 роки тому +25

      @@nihilism6226 watch out we got a killer on the loose, everyones a badass these days, at least in their own worlds

    • @SteelSaint749
      @SteelSaint749 4 роки тому +28

      And you DIDN'T get put out of school?! Cool story, bro

  • @abb5596
    @abb5596 4 роки тому +825

    "don't call me that again" they will proceed to immediately say it again lmao

    • @stjepanmatanovic2555
      @stjepanmatanovic2555 4 роки тому +81

      yeah, but then you have a good reason to move away from them and they will know its their fault.

    • @abb5596
      @abb5596 4 роки тому +68

      @@stjepanmatanovic2555 you already have a good reason and... I don't think they would care

    • @stjepanmatanovic2555
      @stjepanmatanovic2555 4 роки тому +103

      @@abb5596 oh, they would care. Being ignored is their nightmare

    • @picklejho69
      @picklejho69 4 роки тому +36

      I mean, at that point I'd probably just throat punch 'em, but in experience that don't work out too well for anybody involved. I've had to learn to not immediately jump to physicality when words fail, but to adopt a silent, brooding sort of anger. To clarify, that's more or less just death staring the target after dropping the 'Don't call me that again. Ever.' and making sure not to blink, break eye contact, or waver until they've given me the response I want. Also, never, NEVER, move away in this situations. Move closer. The second you do ANYTHING even slightly defensive, you will be on the back foot, and you will only really be able to recover dominance or at the least equality in the confrontation with more, shall we say, aggressive means. But this is all dependent on who it is that is trying to bully you. If there is a real potential for you getting hurt, remove yourself from the situation. No point trying to act 6 foot tall and bulletproof if you're comparatively 5'5 and 50.

    • @alexandrebeaudry8377
      @alexandrebeaudry8377 4 роки тому +21

      And in the video they had just wait for the apologize so you can move on. If the person doesn't care about you (which is more than probable considering he insulted you) you just give them more power. Waiting is the worst and now it became your emotional state.
      There is different way to respond to an insult and this one is awful.
      I recommand listening to the insult (you can even repeat it in a smooth and calm voice to steal the power of what is said) , separate it from yourself and laugh at it if you can.

  • @wisdom-for-all
    @wisdom-for-all 4 роки тому +971

    Blowing out someone else’s candle does not make yours shine any brighter. If courage is fire, then bullying is just smoke. Bullying is for losers 🖖

    • @JJSS-vg1qs
      @JJSS-vg1qs 4 роки тому +3

      and now you know

    • @maggotreynolds9749
      @maggotreynolds9749 4 роки тому +3

      I mean by comparison it makes yours brighter

    • @KarmasAbutch
      @KarmasAbutch 4 роки тому +4

      Jerry Andersen or in positions of power and ruin your life when you follow their own harassment and bullying policy... resulting in a giant ongoing human rights complaint, loss of income and PTSD... but hey, what would I know?
      People need to stop with this shallow, higher moral ground, throwaway sound bites around adult bullying... it’s as serious and nasty as well adults can be.

    • @Koozomec
      @Koozomec 4 роки тому +6

      Bullying obviously works and it's attractive for many people.
      They thrive in today's individualistic society.

    • @Niko-ms5op
      @Niko-ms5op 4 роки тому +1

      There is no candle. Not outside your own conception. No flame, no smoke, none of it. Still there is more than you could ever conceive.

  • @Caine61
    @Caine61 4 роки тому +556

    My boss told me to work overtime and when I said no he got angry so I performed a Jiu Jutsu hip toss on him and now I'm looking for another job.

  • @harrysethh
    @harrysethh 4 роки тому +331

    Someone once told me a way to deter bullies physically which I've often thought about:
    They said that if someone is approaching you in a physically aggressive manner, one way to avoid this is to look them straight in the eye, pull down your pants and underwear, then smile.
    Cause no one wants to get physically near a smiling guy with no pants on.
    I often wonder about the dude who told me this: where is he now? And, is he wearing any pants?
    Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

    • @minuit6305
      @minuit6305 4 роки тому +74

      I think it only works men on men. I tried this as a woman to a man and he also took his pants off and smiled. Now he is convinced we are a couple!

    • @harrysethh
      @harrysethh 4 роки тому +5

      @@minuit6305 😂😂😂

    • @Mantosasto
      @Mantosasto 4 роки тому +17

      Alright, you two made me laugh. You win this comment section in my book.

    • @harrysethh
      @harrysethh 4 роки тому +1

      @@Mantosasto we are but doing what we were put here to do

    • @aminatamaiga1
      @aminatamaiga1 4 роки тому +1

      What about women to women? Does that work?

  • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
    @QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 роки тому +378

    “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
    ― Mark Twain

    • @k3nz1e73
      @k3nz1e73 4 роки тому +7

      Question Everything - Thought Provoking Ideas you have copied to quotes and posted both of them for likes. They’re good quotes tbf but ik what you’re doing

    • @andiemorgan961
      @andiemorgan961 4 роки тому +4

      Even on this comment section you can't escape those who like to criticise!

    • @k3nz1e73
      @k3nz1e73 4 роки тому

      Jerry Andersen Those could be his true intentions but I just decided that I know longer care.

    • @isaacvance5090
      @isaacvance5090 4 роки тому

      AcidDome really want that top reply, huh? You’re replying like crazy.

    • @jonathanbowen3640
      @jonathanbowen3640 4 роки тому +2

      @Jerry Andersen you completely miss understand. his comments are spam done for selfish reasons.

  • @georgeindestructible
    @georgeindestructible 4 роки тому +314

    Saying to someone "that's respectful don't call me that again" only ensures they know for sure what triggers you so they can use it again and again, i don't think you actually know how bullies do their thing.

    • @gernottiefenbrunner172
      @gernottiefenbrunner172 4 роки тому +14

      Than say it about something that is disrespectful but doesn't bother you.

    • @orelas167
      @orelas167 4 роки тому +48

      That's not something people say when they're triggered. It's a warning that the person is ready and able to destroy the other person. It is also a firm "No" to the bully's demand.

    • @georgeindestructible
      @georgeindestructible 4 роки тому +44

      @@orelas167 A bully doesn't give a crap of what you say most of the time.

    • @HoorayBagels
      @HoorayBagels 4 роки тому +22

      @@georgeindestructible yes but bullies want to see a response. They'll see that that won't give them the response that they want.

    • @georgeindestructible
      @georgeindestructible 4 роки тому +7

      @@HoorayBagels That's the one types of bullies, i've known the other type, the one i describe.

  • @wakeful1710
    @wakeful1710 3 роки тому +236

    “Remove them from your life” or remove life from them

  • @johnny2hats330
    @johnny2hats330 4 роки тому +82

    From my experiences in school, the best way to deal with a bully is to confront them when they're on their own. I think most people bully to gain approval from their other peers, and once those peers are removed they tend to be a lot less bold. On the school bus, some guy used to throw stuff at me so one day I got off the bus with him at his stop in the middle of the countryside. I then proceeded to shove him into the hedge repeatedly until he got the message, before I walked the several miles home. He never so much as looked me in the eyes again.

    • @NuLiForm
      @NuLiForm 2 роки тому +1

      Love it! This deserves a Standing Ovation!

    • @chiefchiefstress
      @chiefchiefstress 9 місяців тому

      They mostly walk in packs

  • @Manlihood
    @Manlihood 3 роки тому +14

    I was bullied in middle school very badly.
    The BIGGEST way to overcome bullies is when you overcome yourself. You've got to be secure in yourself first. When you know who you are, and what you stand for, their manipulation means so much less.

    • @dateengineerazurecloud2904
      @dateengineerazurecloud2904 3 роки тому +2

      I was bullied in the work place. 3rd person insults are clever. There is not defense other than knowing yourself and agreeing with some of what they say. Like in the final battle of 8mile.

    • @bobinthewest8559
      @bobinthewest8559 7 місяців тому

      The only thing a bully understands is… some people stand up to them, some people don’t.

  • @MisterPol
    @MisterPol 4 роки тому +223

    Looking at someone in the eyes is the best way to appear confident. If you can't, try looking in between the eyes!

    • @MisterPol
      @MisterPol 4 роки тому +7

      Btw thank you for inspiring me to get into self development and teach others!!

    • @vlemm7798
      @vlemm7798 4 роки тому +2

      or forehead

    • @matthewwarren7879
      @matthewwarren7879 4 роки тому +9

      @Jerry Andersen or learn to defend yourself...

    • @Littlespooby
      @Littlespooby 4 роки тому

      Or their nose.

    • @MeatCatCheesyBlaster
      @MeatCatCheesyBlaster 4 роки тому +5

      I just cross my eyes. It commands respect

  • @TheFuschiaDragonfly
    @TheFuschiaDragonfly 4 роки тому +1336

    I needed this while I was still in school

  • @martinshillitoe4735
    @martinshillitoe4735 3 роки тому +115

    A guy tried the “friendly touch” on me. He did the gentle pat of my cheek and said “now be a good boy”. I responded in kind with the cheek pat and said “my mum always taught me to be good” then said “but my dad taught me to how to uppercut” and then levelled him with a blow to the jaw. Never been near me since

    • @myachi_art
      @myachi_art 3 роки тому +14

      I've gotta admit, that shocked me.

    • @ritam8767
      @ritam8767 3 роки тому +3

      Man, that's awesome. I wish i had this opportunity.

    • @brownie_x
      @brownie_x 3 роки тому +20

      well that's a fuckin lie lol

    • @BoutYoungAnnaLee
      @BoutYoungAnnaLee 3 роки тому +2

      HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA 😂

    • @clawsthelaw9854
      @clawsthelaw9854 3 роки тому +16

      Then Obama came out from behind the bushes and said what a brave young man you are and your whole family clapped

  • @EamonBurke
    @EamonBurke 4 роки тому +221

    Never say BUT after "I love you".
    Say AND
    "I love you, and I'm not going to do that."

    • @fkerpants
      @fkerpants 4 роки тому +15

      This. ^^^^^ Best advice on relationships I've seen in years.

    • @CDeeez94
      @CDeeez94 4 роки тому +9

      Perfect, mate.

    • @PapaSmurf11182nd
      @PapaSmurf11182nd 3 роки тому +3

      That’s a fantastic way of phrasing it.

    • @PapaSmurf11182nd
      @PapaSmurf11182nd 3 роки тому +1

      It’s similar with I’m sorry.
      If you’re saying “I love you,” or “I’m sorry,” and then the next word is “But,” then unfortunately they don’t mean that as much as you may think.
      That’s been my experience anyway.

    • @martinkuliza
      @martinkuliza 3 роки тому +1

      What if you say IF
      the truth is , you can apply digital logic to Love and saying I LOVE YOU
      Logic Gates
      AND
      OR
      NOT
      LOL
      if you want to get creative you can start adding
      NOR
      NAND
      XOR
      Imagine a statement like
      I Love you NAND.............. I'm going to do that LOL
      MAKES YOU THINK DOESN'T IT

  • @You_Tube_User52
    @You_Tube_User52 Рік тому +4

    I faced bulling in my office by my colleagues one was younger than me and other was 10 years older than me.
    I threatened the younger guy to beat the hell out.
    I phoned the elder one and insulted him in private.
    Not saying i feel proud of this but it earned me peace during work breaks.

  • @sly11benal7
    @sly11benal7 4 роки тому +89

    I used to get bullied cause I was small til 21 yrs old. I still get disrespected at times as an adult. People are assholes...I stay in shape gained confidence by sticking up for myself, being in shape, having close friends around me, learning how to fight, and now full circle am Infantryman Vet. I am not scared of anything or anyone no longer n I'm smaller than Connor McGregor by few lbs. Been long hard road, to get to where I am. Keep your head up and drive on!💯🍻

    • @nihilism6226
      @nihilism6226 4 роки тому +1

      Sly11B Enal
      What about assassin drones that kill with lethal injection in your sleep?? Not afraid of even that????

  • @misterg1157
    @misterg1157 3 роки тому +23

    5:05 “Say nothing. Wait until they apologise...”. 😂 Man, you are not used to taking on narcissists or even a common-or-garden bully. When is the last time you heard a bully or narcissist apologise? The only apology they offer is a fake one (e.g. “I’m sorry if you feel I offended you...”)

    • @PCProphecy
      @PCProphecy Рік тому +1

      True, true. The key is... once you state your boundary, if they double down and begin blaming you or any of their mental gymnastics, you no longer need to socialize with the individual, WALK AWAY because they have shown you their incapable of accountability. This is a HUGE red flag and should never be overlooked, even if they don't fall in the spectrum of NPD, BPD, etc... a lack of accountability is an immediate cut-off.

  • @Motorsportsinjapan
    @Motorsportsinjapan 3 роки тому +71

    Much of this sounds like it was written by someone who has never been bullied, only studied bullying at college.

    • @arthas640
      @arthas640 2 роки тому +3

      this sounds like those bullying PSAs they force you to watch in grade school, the kind that are clearly written by upper middle class white people who've never actually seen a bully except on after school specials and decided to write a thesis on bullying regardless.

    • @Motorsportsinjapan
      @Motorsportsinjapan 2 роки тому

      @@arthas640 Pretty much!

    • @bobinthewest8559
      @bobinthewest8559 7 місяців тому

      Taught by the kind of person who says things like, “Just tell the teacher about the bully.”
      🙄

  • @makeromaniagreatagain9697
    @makeromaniagreatagain9697 4 роки тому +74

    4:50
    "Where I come form that's very disrespectful"
    Isn't that the bully's intention?

    • @MrXboy07
      @MrXboy07 4 роки тому +9

      This just gives more ammo

    • @piano_master_5246
      @piano_master_5246 4 роки тому +9

      If it gives more ammo that's a cue to get more aggressive, if it doesn't, then it worked, depends who you're talking to

    • @ablurida
      @ablurida 3 роки тому +7

      You are giving them a last chance to redeem themselves before either removing them from your life forever or whipping their arse if you are able. Intentions can be misread.

  • @NDK0
    @NDK0 4 роки тому +15

    If someone tries to give you that "I am the boss" type of handshake, you grap their hand even tighter. If he (or she) is stronger than you, grap their shoulder and SHAKE them while you say hello. And if you get the chance, lean in and tell them that they need to learn how to shake hands.

  • @jaketinsleywbc
    @jaketinsleywbc 4 роки тому +27

    Gotta say im disappointed in myself, i used these for years while i was going through my bully bully, protector of nerds phase.
    Took a whole damn year for my best friend to get up the guts to tell me i was being a bully myself, really Kickstarted my self awareness.

  • @hewhositsuponfroggychair5722
    @hewhositsuponfroggychair5722 4 роки тому +64

    "They may threaten you with their own harm."
    *Give me your lunch money or I'll beat myself up!*

    • @dea9273
      @dea9273 3 роки тому +4

      That is hella funny!

    • @luminousweb
      @luminousweb 3 роки тому +3

      That's funny but also, narcissists definitely use this tactic. My grandma used to say things like "All this food will go to waste if you don't come eat it," and she would mean for me to feel responsible for her decisions. It can be super manipulative

    • @blindknitter
      @blindknitter 3 роки тому +1

      I have had people tell me that if I don't do as they say their suicide is on me. So, it does happen. It's one reason why men and women can be trapped in thoroughly miserable relationships.

    • @arthas640
      @arthas640 2 роки тому +1

      I did once end a really irritating diatribe by a coworker who was kind of a bully by stabbing myself in the leg with a knife. lucky for me he didnt realize I've got a leg brace so the knife got stuck in that and he got too worried to stick around and wait for any blood to start spilling.

    • @BurntBattleBagel
      @BurntBattleBagel 8 місяців тому +1

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @kyeraff
    @kyeraff 4 роки тому +22

    My go to response to an insult, "Do you think that's okay to say to someone?" Yes, this starts a very different conversation. But I'm almost always ready to have it. And that conversation is a dominance reversal if there ever was one. My empathy and sincerity might make me a friend out of that initial bully.

  • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
    @QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 роки тому +48

    “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.”
    ― Harvey Fierstein

    • @isaacvance5090
      @isaacvance5090 4 роки тому +2

      AcidDome really want that top reply, huh? You’re replying like crazy.

    • @jonathanbowen3640
      @jonathanbowen3640 4 роки тому

      did u even watch the video? or just came here to promote your channel based on the title of the video?

    • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
      @QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 роки тому

      @@jonathanbowen3640 hmmmm.... seems like you've already made up your mind. So do you think anything I say will ever change your mind?

    • @jonathanbowen3640
      @jonathanbowen3640 4 роки тому

      @@QuestionEverythingButWHY Nope, just take a look at this comment section. Its disgusting, its full of self promotion. Its in authentic. It's a mess and makes the comment section painful. I use ad-blockers and avoid advertising in general. Yet the comment section is full of it. If you want to spread your message just stick to your own channel and spend you time on that. The algorithms work, it takes time but the content will speak for itself and you will get subscribers that way. It's the only way.

    • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
      @QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 роки тому

      @@jonathanbowen3640 UA-cam only promotes contents they can earn money from.They don't promote who has just started. That's why it takes 2 years on average to gain first 1000 subscriber. Also youtube wants you to keep uploading and keep engaging with others. If you don't do both then it won't even show your content to your own subscriber.
      Yeah people thinks content will market itself. That's only partially right. As if it were 100% truth then no movie producer would spend almost 50% of their budget promoting their movies. And as you can see, movie stars are already million times famous than us .

  • @dunnowy123
    @dunnowy123 4 роки тому +23

    5:18. I did this to one of my friend's once (although it was directed at the entire group). There's a point where a friend can go overboard with the teasing to the point where you feel like a punching bag. I just told them straight up to stop doing it. It worked. It's sometimes that easy.

    • @Imthesoulofthes
      @Imthesoulofthes Рік тому +1

      Yeah and you already had Friendship with The Bully.

  • @timinator1178
    @timinator1178 4 роки тому +323

    "Charisma on Command told me to learn jiujitsu Mom, I swear!"

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 4 роки тому +3

      I am being humble when I am telling you that I am the most powerful strongest coolest smartest most famous greatest funniest UA-camr of all time! That's the reason I have multiple girlfriends and I show them off on my channel all the time! Bye bye tim

    • @timinator1178
      @timinator1178 4 роки тому +10

      AxxL bro your biceps are the same size as your wrist

    •  4 роки тому +3

      @@timinator1178 why do you have to mock my huge wrist deformity?

    • @timinator1178
      @timinator1178 4 роки тому +1

      @ sounds like a you problem ngl

    • @timinator1178
      @timinator1178 4 роки тому +4

      @@Surteronarto as someone who practices BJJ, wrestling, and (formerly) judo, I can confidently say BJJ will serve you better than judo. Sorry to burst your bubble bud. If you don't believe me, listen to basically any decent MMA commentator.

  • @bradhuygens
    @bradhuygens 4 роки тому +410

    "Would you like fries with that?"
    "Sorry I have a policy to never make a big decision without at least a night to sleep on it".
    By the way I hope a girl doesn't tell me that after I propose to them

    • @praisekek181
      @praisekek181 4 роки тому +26

      The thinking of saying yes comes before the time of asking usually, on both those accounts. You have already have had fries and slept on wether you liked them or not, and proposing does not usually come unexpectedly. If the person doesn't answer yes soon after the asking, they weren't thinking about something that long term, they could simply not be thinking, but after 4 months it should probably be thought about and prepared for.

    • @rainpooper7088
      @rainpooper7088 4 роки тому +23

      Talovax
      4 months is pretty damn fast if you ask me. My parents both had relationships with other people that lasted for up to seven years before they met and got married to each other after a similar amount of time. It wasn’t that they didn’t love these people they didn’t marry, it’s just that they had different long-term goals, especially regarding children. I don’t see 4 months being nearly enough time to find out if your long-term goals are a perfect match with that of the person you’re in love with at the moment.
      The point being, don’t rush it. You can have a perfectly loving relationship without getting married for quite some time. But it’s like you said, if as a couple you actually went and figured everything out together up until that point, the proposal will not be that big of a deal anymore.

    • @praisekek181
      @praisekek181 4 роки тому +1

      @@rainpooper7088 agreed

    • @Koozomec
      @Koozomec 4 роки тому +6

      Protip : propose only if she agrees before.

    • @sararamonajohansson
      @sararamonajohansson 4 роки тому +7

      Four months???? "OOOH! A dozen red flags, I love them!"

  • @theofungi6562
    @theofungi6562 4 роки тому +40

    You, are so helpful in giving us strength to get our self esteem back. I have never been so serious in a comment than the one I just made. You are helping strangers find esteem, so that we can BE.
    Thank You.

  •  4 роки тому +55

    Karl Urban would be a phenomenal Wolverine. Too bad he's not 15 years younger.

    • @MAS7s
      @MAS7s 4 роки тому +2

      ahhh now I can't unsee him in yellow/blue spandex!@@

    • @piglet2548
      @piglet2548 4 роки тому +2

      I wish they cast a shorter,bulkier person as wolverine.

    • @GlowVolve
      @GlowVolve 4 роки тому +1

      I'm surprised to see someone with the same thoughts as mine

    •  4 роки тому

      @@piglet2548 I've been impressed by some renderings of that Harry Potter kid. With his shorter frame, if he added 10-15 lbs of muscle he'd be a pretty good fit.

  • @AnonYmous-mc5zx
    @AnonYmous-mc5zx 4 роки тому +15

    I hate it when my bully threatens me with his heat vision.

  • @Kalambur2233
    @Kalambur2233 4 роки тому +50

    I am yet to see a bully apologise when saying "Hey, that was disrespectful to me, you should apologise.".
    Is this a Blue's Clues episode?
    You're just getting into a defensive stance and will get picked on more.

    • @OnlyIdiotsVote4Kamala
      @OnlyIdiotsVote4Kamala 4 роки тому +1

      If I waited for an apology I would never speak to my mom again!

    • @jmlkhan5153
      @jmlkhan5153 4 роки тому

      InfoJunkie .....so, if she wants to speak to you ever again, even to bully you, she will have to amend her behavior. Win win.

    • @allye4228
      @allye4228 3 роки тому +1

      If you say it in an angry or emotional way of course you'll get picked on more. But if you say it in a calm tone they are more likely to take you seriously.

    • @williamj.dovejr.8613
      @williamj.dovejr.8613 3 роки тому

      @@OnlyIdiotsVote4Kamala I thought I was the only one who had a mom who was a bully...damn.

    • @johannas.l.brushane2518
      @johannas.l.brushane2518 3 роки тому

      It depends on the context. And they did not phrase it as you quoted it. They phrased it in a way to pinch the bully's poor manners, lack of social skills not stating anything whatsoever about how you really feel about the insult. If it's a bully in a workplace, a sportsteam or similar it could well work when essentially being told that their behaviour is disruptive, especially if they are doing it because they think it's a cool jargon (they also said it was for when in a situation where you had to deal with the person).

  • @no4733
    @no4733 4 роки тому +4

    This channel seems great for actors... and psychopaths

  • @samaymirpuri6886
    @samaymirpuri6886 4 роки тому +87

    Can you do a breakdown on Jeff from community and how he maintains his coolness. Like so he can see

    • @mallorysandstrom3928
      @mallorysandstrom3928 4 роки тому +14

      Jeff's coolness is a facade. Abed is the real cool guy.

    • @TheSchemer1
      @TheSchemer1 4 роки тому +2

      Or how he's able to present a confident, sarcastic persona

    • @davewillmusic3334
      @davewillmusic3334 4 роки тому

      Yeah dude, Jeff just puts on a facade to hide his pain but when he's alone he cry, cry, cries in his lonely heart.

    • @samaymirpuri6886
      @samaymirpuri6886 4 роки тому

      MallorySandstrom fr

    • @kevineldracher9422
      @kevineldracher9422 3 роки тому

      @@mallorysandstrom3928 facts

  • @nemanja6794
    @nemanja6794 4 роки тому +38

    You really need to do a video on Raymond Reddington. I think it's seriously overdue.

  • @9525joe
    @9525joe 4 роки тому +25

    Where I come from, some of the tips in this video just gonna get you bullied some more

    • @MrSpartanspud
      @MrSpartanspud 3 роки тому

      I have only watched three of this channel's videos and that piece of advice has completely shattered my faith in this channel.

    • @cyndigooch1162
      @cyndigooch1162 3 роки тому +1

      9525joe I totally agree and it doesn't matter what people say to some overly aggressive individuals, because they generally don't give a f - - k anyway. 🙁

  • @betolink0298
    @betolink0298 4 роки тому +119

    04:56 "Where I come from.... People like that get slapped". - Nick Diaz

    • @martinfiedler4317
      @martinfiedler4317 4 роки тому +1

      Are you physically threatening people with this poor quote?

    • @betolink0298
      @betolink0298 4 роки тому +17

      @@martinfiedler4317 Absolutely dude. If someone messes up with me I'm gonna send the Díaz brothers to Stockton Slap them.

  • @CaseyBurnsInvesting
    @CaseyBurnsInvesting 4 роки тому +17

    I like the reciprocating unreciprocated touch tip. These videos are incredibly valuable and underrated.

  • @paulwestwood4417
    @paulwestwood4417 3 роки тому +2

    Pressuring you to make an instant decision is very common, especially with sales people. I got a lot of people pissed off by delaying decisions, but I still do it.

  • @justindavis5519
    @justindavis5519 4 роки тому +97

    At the end of the day, if you get hurt whatever just remember you had the balls to stand up to your bully

    • @jmlkhan5153
      @jmlkhan5153 4 роки тому +1

      Better to die with dignity than win in disgrace.

  • @wanderyaman5999
    @wanderyaman5999 4 роки тому +1

    I'm still at the process of standing up for my life and getting them out of my life but I can already feel the satisfaction of that , just Know that none of you deserve such treatment. Stay strong 💪

  • @Itzblu777
    @Itzblu777 4 роки тому +130

    More like:
    “5 Psychological Tricks I will now use and what to expect as a Counter”

  • @SmokeFlame1
    @SmokeFlame1 3 роки тому +1

    Most bullies are cowards. Stand up to them firmly and the back down.

  • @sarahrivers3171
    @sarahrivers3171 4 роки тому +7

    Charlie and Ben, thank you so much for these terrific tips. Bullies are everywhere you look and it can be difficult to know how best to handle them.

  • @sponggg_7096
    @sponggg_7096 4 роки тому +6

    If you said "where I come from that is very disrespectful" to a bully you'd probably get ridiculed even further. Bullies dont care that they hurt your feelings and aren't gona apologizes for it.

  • @taylorskyblue9413
    @taylorskyblue9413 3 роки тому +3

    I needed this video 10 years ago. I was bullied and I was even sexually assaulted. It took 10 years to heal emotionally, and your channel has helped me a ton. I'm a longtime subscriber. I truly think Charisma Command knows what he's talking about!

    • @terribledeed2137
      @terribledeed2137 2 роки тому

      Sorry bro

    • @physicslover1950
      @physicslover1950 Рік тому

      As a teenager, I got bullied by my classmate in a very harassing manner... She used to sit to my right and always bullied me whenever teacher wasn't looking... She used to pinch my chest so forcefully that I got scars when I saw myself in the mirror by taking off my clothes. I used to cry the whole day and couldn't sleep at night. I didn't want to go to school because of her. She was physically very strong and used to go to gym... Whenever I used to take revenge by doing the same thing to her she used to stop me easily with little or no effort as she was physically stronger and pinched my chest me more and more. It was so painful and I wanted to die. It was such a shame that I couldn't even tell anyone about that those wounds of her brutal pinching were all over my breast and that felt so humiliating... 😥😥.. I felt so alone and even now I feel afraid to see stronger woman because of the fear of being bullied in the same way.. What would you have done if you were there istead of me.

  • @why_karlaly
    @why_karlaly 4 роки тому +2

    From my personal experience, the best way to deal with people insulting you is to agree with them in a jokingly way and maybe even hit back with a compliment. That way you can easily show the bully that you're comfortable with whatever they're "calling you out" on and that you're still trying to have a friendly relationship with them.

    • @supDARe36
      @supDARe36 4 роки тому +2

      You are right! I caught myself unconciously doing this when I was in high school since I am naturally humorous. Their faces filled with confusion then later annoyance was priceless. They left me alone.

  • @SusanaXpeace2u
    @SusanaXpeace2u 3 роки тому +6

    Please do a video about how to handle being given the cold shoulder by one person in a group you have every right to be in. This has happened to me a few times now and it always surprises me as I wasn't trying to take over the group, I was just happy to be in the group. I don't know why I'm a threat to this type of person but when something has happened three times, and the woman has behaved in an identical way each time, love bombing every other member of the group and treating me like I'm a ghost, then I realise that I'm triggering these types somehow. I'm too accommodating, I was a people pleaser but I'm not now, although there must be some residual essence of people pleasing about me that revolts these scapegoating bullies. They want me gone. Being treated like this makes me wither and I can't be natural. SO I stay quiet. I freeze. while they fawn. And then I'm ejected from the group one way or another. I know this is not how men tend to bully but please can you look in to how to deal with it? I like your turn of phrase. I like to have the right words to diffuse a situation.

  • @s.akhtarjoomun263
    @s.akhtarjoomun263 3 роки тому +2

    "Wait until they apologize"?!
    I'm still sitting outside of the house of my 5th-grade bully, waiting for him to apologize. I was about to give up and go home, but now that I've watched this video, I'm not going anywhere.

  • @thehood-nv7xl
    @thehood-nv7xl 4 роки тому +269

    This channel is perfect for lizard people who are trying to look more human

    • @floki4571
      @floki4571 4 роки тому +21

      the hood 2099 I have asperger’s syndrome, that’s exactly what I’m doing on this channel lol

    • @thehood-nv7xl
      @thehood-nv7xl 4 роки тому +10

      @@floki4571 ma bad ma bad , apologies are in order

    • @floki4571
      @floki4571 4 роки тому +17

      the hood 2099 No need to apologize, I actually found your comment funny

    • @piano_master_5246
      @piano_master_5246 4 роки тому +4

      @@floki4571 hello lizard person

    • @ipshitatamjid2886
      @ipshitatamjid2886 4 роки тому +6

      Yea, Mark Zuckerberg

  • @SpaceCouncil
    @SpaceCouncil 3 роки тому +1

    "That's really disrespectful" - That won't get you anywhere. The person is trying to make fun of you, disrespect is the entire goal of their interaction with you.

  • @elielterman
    @elielterman 4 роки тому +92

    POV: ur watching this to become a better bully

  • @steviekeas
    @steviekeas 4 роки тому +8

    Everything is about control. Bullying is just a way to get control.

    • @martinkuliza
      @martinkuliza 3 роки тому

      that's right.....
      so... you smack him in the mouth and make him lose control of you

  • @rtc3363
    @rtc3363 3 роки тому +2

    I love how genuine this channel is to help people’s confidence with practical examples, totally deserve the 4m+ sub. And none of the annoying “what’s up guys!” opening so many youtubers use nowadays

  • @garyholloway7247
    @garyholloway7247 3 роки тому +2

    I was raised to be kind and respectful. However, I used to get bullied when I was young possibly because I'm small. I quickly learned that if you displayed extreme violence towards said bully, the message soon got around and everyone left me alone. Don't get me wrong, I always tried to talk my way out, but bullies generally aren't that bright, so they got taught the hard way. You could see the shock on their faces. I did feel badly afterwards but at the time it was survival. I didn't ask them to pick on me after all. In my book they got what they deserved.

  • @pats3714
    @pats3714 3 роки тому +8

    Don't react. A bully, by definition, is looking for some sort of fear reaction. Personally, I always found bullies rather funny, like they'd sock me in the face and I'd just smile. Wish I'd met one of these guys later, when I'd put on a bit of weight, not to be unfortunately.

  • @gregoryscott3858
    @gregoryscott3858 4 роки тому +4

    This advice isn't about stopping bullies, it's about resisting high pressure sales tactics.
    Aside from being cartoonish fictional characters, Butcher and Homelander aren't 'bullies', they're 'violent narcissistic psychopaths' who deliver on their threats. There is no way to 'stop' people with disordered, pathological personalities, your only effective option is eliminating all contact.
    As for the vid title, the only way to 'stop' an actual bully is to push back hard enough --- psychologically and/or physically --- that you establish dominance.

  • @360.Tapestry
    @360.Tapestry 4 роки тому +60

    there's a bully at work. my coworkers and i talk about leaving all the time. i'm the only one who's actually left

    • @chellefell1331
      @chellefell1331 4 роки тому +3

      what does this bully do?

    • @Mahmood.23
      @Mahmood.23 4 роки тому +4

      I say you learn jiu-jitsu and go back for a visit

    • @ScareFire
      @ScareFire 4 роки тому +5

      It was the right choice, hope you the best

    • @Mahmood.23
      @Mahmood.23 4 роки тому

      @Jerry Andersen it was a joke..

    • @svenkamog2232
      @svenkamog2232 4 роки тому +1

      Good on you, I made the mistake and stayed far to long...

  • @mathurm100
    @mathurm100 3 роки тому +1

    be certain in yourself. maintain gravitas when you speak. ignore whiners and if someone questions you address them decisively. doesn't matter if you're right in your position. it matters that you HAVE a position. most people don't. and most people don't know what the eff they're doing in life anyway.

  • @shanonsnyder9450
    @shanonsnyder9450 4 роки тому +3

    Appreciate how you showed both Billy and Homelander as bullies. Really gets to the heart of the show’s irony

  • @AliothAncalagon
    @AliothAncalagon 3 роки тому +4

    To put it bluntly: Find a way to develop confidence.

  • @vdmur7952
    @vdmur7952 4 роки тому +3

    Was specifically looking into 'the boys' as a case study. Glad you did a video specifically on it.

  • @handy864
    @handy864 4 роки тому +1

    I've picked up a particularly nasty trick that only works because it's based in the fact I had to realise when I bully bullys I'm still a bully. When someone gets threatening to me I stay calm and happy, mirror them and point out how pathetic and week I am proving I'm terrifying and challenging them to be more clever. When they inevitably disappoint me, they have a new fear of me that I twist into a stance of keeping the conversations respectful so we don't devolve back into a situation that leaves them at a major disadvantage. I wouldn't recommend this as I get set on fire literally and don't care, but a lot of what's talked about in this video comes into play so I thought I'd share. Charisma on command is a great tool to help explain what I do and I still learn things from it. So to everyone out there, would you kindly not let people push you around... This is where the maniacal laugh comes in, stay smart out there.

  • @henstar337
    @henstar337 4 роки тому +14

    I'm sure that telling them they are being disrespectful is really going to work.

    • @henstar337
      @henstar337 4 роки тому +7

      @Jerry Andersen I though the point of a bully was that they were trying to hurt you. Surely then, indicating to them that they are getting to you will only cause them to double down.

    • @jmlkhan5153
      @jmlkhan5153 4 роки тому +4

      Henstar i can relate from experience that if you have a bully, particularly a narcissistic one, never reveal your weaknesses to them.

    • @dateengineerazurecloud2904
      @dateengineerazurecloud2904 3 роки тому +1

      they will deny it/gaslight you. Been there.

  • @GODCONVOYPRIME
    @GODCONVOYPRIME 4 роки тому +4

    Homelander seems like he just needs a friend. I actually think he's a hero.

  • @ShirleyitsJohn
    @ShirleyitsJohn 4 роки тому +3

    I'd love it if you guys did a video for how to convey charisma in writing. I find it's much more difficult for some reason since you're unable to rely on things like vocal tone and body language to help communicate your message.

  • @kd2239
    @kd2239 Рік тому +1

    I hate bulliess. I once asked for a kids lunch money and he said "no". I was really offended and embarrassed so i punched him repeatedly in the stomach. He gave me his lunch money. Remember folks, always stand up for yourself.

  • @alejandroescudero1379
    @alejandroescudero1379 3 роки тому +5

    where I come from, saying "where I come from that's very disrespectful please stop" it's like giving a flamethrower to a pyromaniac, absolutely nothing good will come out of it and the bullying will only become worse haha

    • @cloroxbleach5734
      @cloroxbleach5734 3 роки тому

      Yeah him saying that made me take the vid less seriously.

    • @forgottenmma3694
      @forgottenmma3694 2 роки тому

      Exactly. Thats that “You’re hearting my feelings”

  • @The_Gallowglass
    @The_Gallowglass 3 роки тому +1

    "Where I come from that is really disrespectful. Don't ever call me that again."
    To me that would only make them enjoy insulting you more, unless they're trying to appear respectful, in front of other people. They might just hit you.

  • @urbanexpansion1357
    @urbanexpansion1357 4 роки тому +12

    Before I play this, I really hope its a character analysis of Billy Butcher..

  • @greegeree
    @greegeree 3 роки тому

    I've had more than my fair share of them. I'll keep these tips in mind. I've cut toxic people from my past out of my life and keep my friend circles tight but mostly i hang out alone. And now I'm not so naïve that I try to jump right in to friendships with people i just met.

  • @msrtoday
    @msrtoday 4 роки тому +5

    Ah the solution to all things - boundaries and discipline

    • @dateengineerazurecloud2904
      @dateengineerazurecloud2904 3 роки тому

      Made new friends at work. Went no contact with my bullies/narcissists. GS scale is rankism in its finest form.

  • @jerryhablitzel3333
    @jerryhablitzel3333 4 роки тому +1

    You have done your homework on the subjects you discuss. To be a good teacher you must first be a good student. Well done.

  • @lilrask9464
    @lilrask9464 4 роки тому +7

    "Well the Jerk Store called... They're running out of you!" - George Costanza

  • @probsnooneyouknowtbh3712
    @probsnooneyouknowtbh3712 2 роки тому +1

    To any lovely, sweet, sensitive person who clicked on a popular UA-cam video looking for answers because people have been awful to you and you don't know what to do, I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say something to you. I'm sorry the world is so unkind. I'm sorry society places the onus on you to harden yourself rather than those people to stop being jerks. I'm sorry the process of hardening is difficult and painful. I hope you are able to keep some of your softness, and please don't be ashamed of it because it's nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, many of us have to "toughen up" to survive, but always remember that's not because there's something wrong with you. It's just a way you unfortunately have to adapt to survive in a messed up society. I want you to know it's never your fault when people mistreat you, okay? Okay. Now you go and keep on keeping on. Things will get better for you.

  • @remc0s
    @remc0s 4 роки тому +4

    I was never bullied in school, but for some reason as an adult, a former colleague and friend of mine thought i would make a perfect target for him and his overweight neckbeard buddies, so i kicked him out of my friend group.
    Mocking me because i go to the gym, am not fat and use deodorant? Seriously?
    Something went really, really wrong with those guys.

  • @Robotogram
    @Robotogram 3 роки тому +1

    To say, I am telling you how to be, is so manipulative. Worthy of a true bully wannabe. The truth is there is always someone in the school that is stronger or faster than the bully. But not the bully. It may seem awkward at first but tell that person your problem and ask for help. Chances are they will and maybe you will find a good friend in the process. I’ve actually seen this done, A boy found two girls willing to help. Together they could decimate and humiliate the bully into submission. Believe me this was really fun to watch. Remember when you try to hide, the game begins.

  • @thetriumphanthustler7001
    @thetriumphanthustler7001 4 роки тому +12

    "When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful" -Eric Thomas

  • @CunningStuntsGoFast
    @CunningStuntsGoFast 3 роки тому

    i went the old fashion way as a 5ft8 guy in wolrds tallest country ; took boxing lessons and started observing those that belittle me to understand from what view they look to beat them at it . people who emotionaly push or bully are very vunerable if you know how they tic . being bullied as a small kid teached me valuable lessons .

  • @yeah2853
    @yeah2853 4 роки тому +8

    where was this when i was getting bullied

    • @yeah2853
      @yeah2853 4 роки тому

      @Jerry Andersen victim blaming, riiiiighttttt.....

  • @Lisarata
    @Lisarata 3 роки тому +2

    I want to tell people that got bullied: It's because you're learning. You will do better next time. Listen to these techniques. You'll do better. You'll be better off. Love yourself and be your own friend, and learn what you can do.

  • @VondaInWonderland
    @VondaInWonderland 4 роки тому +3

    I love your channel and I've watched about 20 of your videos in the last couple of days. I got some great tips from Russel Brand to talk to my daughter last night. I didn't know how to communicate my peace and how she could have it too. Sitting up tall while I talked, even though I was on the phone was everything.
    I have found that my security comes from Jesus, not from myself. I am content in His neverending love, and feel complete trust, and need of nothing. But being able to communicate that isn't always easy ♥

  • @chrisfrank5331
    @chrisfrank5331 3 роки тому +1

    If you dont fight you lose. If you fight you may lose but you still win. Sadly wimping is encouraged now

  • @BG597
    @BG597 4 роки тому +5

    I miss seeing Charlie's face :(
    Great to have you back.

  • @calgakispict3652
    @calgakispict3652 3 роки тому +1

    Homelander isn't fake friendly, he's just a sociopath trying to appear normal and affectionate most of the time

  • @Dessik190
    @Dessik190 4 роки тому +30

    "do not join in on the stampede" then puts up the scene from the lion king? Too soon bro.

  • @lpquagmire3621
    @lpquagmire3621 3 роки тому +2

    Respond with kindness -- it will confuse the bully and put him off his game.

  • @rafiqrashad392
    @rafiqrashad392 4 роки тому +7

    2010 : I'm a victim of a school bully or at workplace
    2020 : I'm a victim of an Internet bully

  • @Kaalokalawaia
    @Kaalokalawaia 4 роки тому +1

    Or going absolutely crazy works too. People tried to bully me as a kid because I was so small. That didn't work out for them very well.

    • @barrywhite1770
      @barrywhite1770 4 роки тому

      Be careful with that. I tried to befriend the crazy kid in high school that always got picked on. He stabbed me with an electric chisel in shop class. Avoided him from then on. Saw him again in university, still getting picked on. Sad.

  • @RaymaMcClure
    @RaymaMcClure 4 роки тому +5

    This was so helpful, thank you!!! I loved the bit about reacting with similar gestures. Killin’ em with kindness. Hot damn.

  • @sebelasips8694
    @sebelasips8694 4 роки тому +2

    Can you please do a video about how to be charismatic in *online situation* ? Because of this pandemic, we really have to learn how to be good at communicating, presenting, etc through online platforms

  • @tornado5081
    @tornado5081 4 роки тому +3

    Dude you literally watch all the shows I do
    I mean the similarities are frightening

  • @AZDC99
    @AZDC99 3 роки тому

    3:00 I love the 24-hour time limit you mentioned at the 3 minute bar...I unfortunately didn't do this and got caught into a bad financial situation my SO-CALLED "family" of origin. BUT VIDEOS LIKE THESE ARE GIVING ME FAST RECOVERY

  • @holypikeman4603
    @holypikeman4603 4 роки тому +19

    Victim bullying is another good one. "I'm a poor woman and you raised your voice, thats abuse! Now I get your job"

    • @artyomarty391
      @artyomarty391 3 роки тому +1

      thats actually the most common form of bullying these days. Its also passive aggressive bullying in a way

  • @Derek-Moran
    @Derek-Moran 4 роки тому

    Most bullies were bullied themselves; mainly by one parent, sometimes both parents or sometimes by an older sibling.
    If you can break down a bully (emotionally), you will normally find a young child in incredible emotional pain.
    Heal the child and the bully suddenly wakes up out of their 24 hour controlling nightmare.

  • @Reggie2000
    @Reggie2000 4 роки тому +6

    I disagree with the hard line on the 24hr rule. Many a person has lost out on a great opportunity by being meek. Sometimes you have to be bold in life. Sometimes you have to answer that door right now, or lose that opportunity forever.

    • @dsharkyo
      @dsharkyo 4 роки тому

      24 hrs might be too long, but it could be a good rule to start practicing resisting the sales tactic he mentioned

  • @BeowuIfs
    @BeowuIfs 4 роки тому

    Basically learn to create/bring up boundaries with someone, respectfully call the person out on their behavior, and learn to walk away from someone that's toxic.