This milk rant along with Jake's utterly posh accent makes this sound like a cartoon villain's monologue to the hero on why he invented a ray that destroys all non-dairy kinds of milk in existence.
I like how the woman at the coffee shop listed basically every milk on the planet EXCEPT regular milk, like she just assumed Jack was a vegan or dairy free
as someone who's actually lactose intolerant: - out of the non-dairy milk substitutes, only soy comes anywhere near to approaching dairy milk's consistency - most of them don't even properly carry the flavor of their source: plain almond milk doesn't taste _anything_ like almonds, it tastes like dishwater from the time you had a bowl of almonds - lactose free milk exists, and the process of de-lactosing milk makes it _sweeter._ Truly the _best_ option if your only reason for avoiding milk is allergenic - if you avoid it for religious dietary practices, as mentioned soy milk does well enough.
I honestly love lactose-free milk, and almond milk with Honey O's tastes like lucky charms marshmallows. Also I'm lactose intolerant to a certain number of things, not always though (I don't get it either)
I love dairy milk, and unfortunately I’ve hated soy milk for most of my life (barring black bean soy milk). For me, oat milk is the only thing that comes remotely close to dairy milk, taste wise.
As someone who loves milk I've faced a similar situation before,the boy at the cafeteria gave me all these options,and I went like: preferably something which came from a cow😂😂😂
I just imagine how Jack stood in front of the mirror for months, practicing this bit “you can have it from a bean, from a pulse….” And it makes me incredibly happy.
I’m pretty sure I’ve watched this at least 30 times as part of your hilarious Netflix specials. By far, one of my favourite segments of your specials. It is the most intelligent bit of comedy that I’ve ever seen. I love that you’ve posted them in segments on UA-cam.
I became lactose intolerant in 2021 and it SUCKS. I love milk, I love cheese, I love icecream. It's horrible to get the shits whenever I want to enjoy anything
Lactose free milk is your solution, my friend. Most of the big dairy companies have them. Danish brand Arla has become my go-to for lactose-free milk, as does the Australian brand Cowhead.
Grab lacteze (lactase enzyme supplements to aid digestion) or lactose free icecream Find I can have hard cheeses without issues (like parmesan) but any soft cheeses give soft stools Flavoured milks can be a little bit harder to come by depending on where you live
@@askinredroads5132 i did try it, but i am horrible with taking pills and I freaking love milk and milk products, so I just drink lactose free milk and only eating significant amounts of cheese and icecream when I have nowhere else to be.
I'm allergic to dairy, soy, and nuts, so most milk options aren't options for me, but I still find this hilarious. And even more so when it's done in regards to coffee because there are so many different "types" of coffee that are only off by a small change in the ratio of ingredients.
Milk alternatives, meat alternatives, coffee types, fucking sexualities, people in the west these days have way too many fucking choices. You go to Turkey and order a coffee, you will only be given one option. Black as Satan's tits
And then each of those 12 different types of plant milk comes in several different flavors in both sweetened as well as unsweetened varieties and Silk now has a product called Not Milk that's supposed to taste like actual milk. So now we have even more than we actually need. Let's keep oat milk because out of all the plant based milks the general consensus seems to be that that's the best plant based milk for coffee. We can totally get rid of all the extra options 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He missed one joke.earlier in the video he said about almond milk being nut juice. Then ,near the end, he said that he reuses c0nd0ms by rinsing out the nut juice. He should have said that he gives it to his eco friendly friend to put in her tea.
I saw a short clip of this on youtube and I am so happy I found the whole clip! I can't stop laughing!!! Had to put my painting down because I was starting to mess up while laughing lol!
I hope that if I ever visit a coffee place in london that there’s a poster of him saying “for the love of god,we have got to stop milking sh*t” on the window or wall😂😂😂😂
Why is this so relatable. I don’t drink milk OR coffee! Most I should POSSIBLY be able to relate is through STARBUCKS HOT CHOCOLATE. MAYBE. Like I legit don’t give a crap what milk you give me in something, because I never ingest something using milk in which I can TASTE the milk. There is legitimately no difference to me. Which is why I’m annoyed when people make me choose, because TF IS THE DIFFERENCE
yep, i was once in a hospital for several months back then. n when i freed from there, "that" thing happened to me, at my favorite boba drink stall near the train station. n lookin at the newspaper's date, i was like, "dafuq, how long was i pass out?" n when the waitress politely asked "excuse me, r u not coming from somewhere near here?" then in confusion, whithout any hesitation i was like, "excuse me, i just freed from my captivity."
At first, I thought he said, "recycling Dum Dums." I was so confused when he then said, "Stick it on the washing line." That's when I realized he said condoms. 🤦♀️😂
I've been alive since the 70's and it was only three days ago I learned that if you mix powered milk with milk you get double milk because there's more milk per milk.
This man seems like he's always on the verge of a mental breakdown and it makes him so much more hilarious lmfao
My exact thoughts
What if he is?
@@SherlockHomeless223 then it's even better.
yeah like I honestly thought he was going to spiral when he said "we have got enough milks now"
If you watch his special "Travels with my father" you get a REALLY good idea of why he is the way he is.
the way his voice goes to full send mode when he says "would everyone stop MILKING S***!"
IT SOUNDED LIKE THE VOICE OF GOD
The beep absolutely ruined it though 🙄
@@jayldbrk1417 Saw the uncensored clip elsewhere and yes it was much much better.
This milk rant along with Jake's utterly posh accent makes this sound like a cartoon villain's monologue to the hero on why he invented a ray that destroys all non-dairy kinds of milk in existence.
That's an oddly specific ray.
@@blakksheep736 makes me think of the evil scientist from phineas and ferb
@@manisha.n86 Lmao.
@@manisha.n86 The Nondairymilkawayinator?
@@fabianlaibin6956 Jack-y the platypus?!
I like how the woman at the coffee shop listed basically every milk on the planet EXCEPT regular milk, like she just assumed Jack was a vegan or dairy free
Regular milk and every version of milk that comes from an animal. No mention of goat's milk, etc. either.
@@TheSansationalSans
Goat’s Milk > Cow Milk
There i said it
@@maenad1231 lol. I have never had goats milk, but I don't particularly like cow milk , so I don't doubt you
Well jack looks the type
At some point, "assumed" will turn to "preferred"
as someone who's actually lactose intolerant:
- out of the non-dairy milk substitutes, only soy comes anywhere near to approaching dairy milk's consistency
- most of them don't even properly carry the flavor of their source: plain almond milk doesn't taste _anything_ like almonds, it tastes like dishwater from the time you had a bowl of almonds
- lactose free milk exists, and the process of de-lactosing milk makes it _sweeter._ Truly the _best_ option if your only reason for avoiding milk is allergenic
- if you avoid it for religious dietary practices, as mentioned soy milk does well enough.
I honestly love lactose-free milk, and almond milk with Honey O's tastes like lucky charms marshmallows. Also I'm lactose intolerant to a certain number of things, not always though (I don't get it either)
Honestly lactose free milk is the best. I recently discovered that I'm lactose intolerant and it makes me so happy...
I love dairy milk, and unfortunately I’ve hated soy milk for most of my life (barring black bean soy milk). For me, oat milk is the only thing that comes remotely close to dairy milk, taste wise.
@@allcopsarebastards1478 soy milk tastes atrocious, never tried oat milk but I think I might
Oat is good imo
When he said “we are the smokers of 2020” I burst out laughing. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
He,'s not wrong though
No he’s not at all wrong but it was still so funny. 🤣
@@caroline1637 oh it was fun cuz he was right, that and Jacks always high pitched delivery.🤣🤣
@@sorrowdusk5068 YES! 🤣
I couldn't quite understand it. Could you help with it😂
When I saw this on Netflix, I swear I couldn't stop laughing😂👍
Same
What’s the special called on Netflix?
@@LadimusPrime I'm only joking
So is it on netflix or not?
@@isabellamarcelino1970 That's what it's called, Jake Whitehall: I'm only joking
As someone who loves milk I've faced a similar situation before,the boy at the cafeteria gave me all these options,and I went like: preferably something which came from a cow😂😂😂
I'm waiting for the opportunity to use the "from a.nipple" line ....sadly as I drink coffee black (the proper way) this doesn't come up.
His little jig at 4:28 about the environmental hypocrite is soo cute!
I just imagine how Jack stood in front of the mirror for months, practicing this bit “you can have it from a bean, from a pulse….” And it makes me incredibly happy.
I’m pretty sure I’ve watched this at least 30 times as part of your hilarious Netflix specials. By far, one of my favourite segments of your specials. It is the most intelligent bit of comedy that I’ve ever seen. I love that you’ve posted them in segments on UA-cam.
Lol even as someone who will literally die if I ingest milk, I find it funny.
Holy crap
That’s funny, im deadly allergic to nuts so im kinda stuck with cow’s milk.
Used condoms: "A bag for life". What a remarkably accurate description, my friend.
I became lactose intolerant in 2021 and it SUCKS. I love milk, I love cheese, I love icecream. It's horrible to get the shits whenever I want to enjoy anything
Lactose free milk is your solution, my friend. Most of the big dairy companies have them. Danish brand Arla has become my go-to for lactose-free milk, as does the Australian brand Cowhead.
Also there are pills that contains lactase, the enzyme that digests lactose. They have helped me.
Grab lacteze (lactase enzyme supplements to aid digestion) or lactose free icecream
Find I can have hard cheeses without issues (like parmesan) but any soft cheeses give soft stools
Flavoured milks can be a little bit harder to come by depending on where you live
have you tried lactaid?
@@askinredroads5132 i did try it, but i am horrible with taking pills and I freaking love milk and milk products, so I just drink lactose free milk and only eating significant amounts of cheese and icecream when I have nowhere else to be.
I can't stop giggling at this one. I'm trying to memorize it for personal use next time I'm asked what milk I want. Lol
Jack is really milking this story
Hehe
😂😂
Aha aha
Gotemmmm
*GASP!* HE MADE A MILK PUN?!? HOW *DAIRY*
@@joetheturtle7768 It's a moo~t point huh?
I'm allergic to dairy, soy, and nuts, so most milk options aren't options for me, but I still find this hilarious. And even more so when it's done in regards to coffee because there are so many different "types" of coffee that are only off by a small change in the ratio of ingredients.
Milk alternatives, meat alternatives, coffee types, fucking sexualities, people in the west these days have way too many fucking choices. You go to Turkey and order a coffee, you will only be given one option. Black as Satan's tits
Just showed the clip to my friend last night! Love it!
And then each of those 12 different types of plant milk comes in several different flavors in both sweetened as well as unsweetened varieties and Silk now has a product called Not Milk that's supposed to taste like actual milk. So now we have even more than we actually need. Let's keep oat milk because out of all the plant based milks the general consensus seems to be that that's the best plant based milk for coffee. We can totally get rid of all the extra options 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I've watched this video 10 times and its still funny😂😂😂
This was the first time I laughed so hard out loud in months 😂 thank you Jack! 😂
I have great news: There is potato milk! It's from Sweden and called Dug: Potato Milk.
The delivery is just immaculate
Lactose intolerance? An issue? Never have i seen someone consume more lactose in one sitting than a lactose intolerant human being
Truth… be… told. 🤣
Right?! They’re like if I’m gonna hurt I’m gonna make sure it’s WORTH IT!!!
I take expensive pills to be able to eat dairy. I'm getting my money's worth. Also ice creaaaaaaaam!
Damn................. good comedy and with those baby blue eyes, that beard and handsome face? (fanning myself)
I remember watching this on Netflix like 699643368974149 times in a row
i saw this show live and it was hilariousss
One of my favourite parts of that show
I have seen this sketch so many times , never fails to have me in stitches every time .
It's a bag for life 🤣
“It’s a bag for life.”
I almost died.
jack is addressing problems THAT MATTER
Bro had enough 💀
This is probably one out my favourites. It's hilarious
OK. That's it.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm subscribing to the channel and ready to binge.
He missed one joke.earlier in the video he said about almond milk being nut juice. Then ,near the end, he said that he reuses c0nd0ms by rinsing out the nut juice. He should have said that he gives it to his eco friendly friend to put in her tea.
Saw this on Netflix such a funny video your so funny
seeing this live was 100 times funnier, he sounded on the verge of a meltdown the entire time
Yes! I was also there and it was hilarious
You left out potato 😂
Potato milk? ......... Sooooooo vodka.
I saw a short clip of this on youtube and I am so happy I found the whole clip! I can't stop laughing!!! Had to put my painting down because I was starting to mess up while laughing lol!
Ye$$$ iT'$ aLL tHa MiLk MaN$ FauLt 🤣🤣🤣
Am dying laughing on the floor at work in Lancaster CA
So he's officially turned into his father! LOL
This is a certified internet classic.
man I watch this at school and i start laughing during class ost of the time
This is AMAZING.
Describing Dairy Drinkers as “The Smokers of 2020” Is the greatest description I’ve heard.
Coming across Pecan Nut milk and Macadamia Nut milk just now while grocery shopping reminded me of this bit 😂
EVERYTIME, someone offers me something else than standard milk i remember this video and laugh my god damn ass off xD thank you for this!
me being lactoe intolerant, and not giving a dam. I will suffer for cheese .
I hope that if I ever visit a coffee place in london that there’s a poster of him saying “for the love of god,we have got to stop milking sh*t” on the window or wall😂😂😂😂
nUT JUICE😂
That sounds so wrong hahaha
You know it’s been a long day, when you have a breakdown over milk x it’s ok Jack, the milks are not out to get you x
As a barista, my coworkers and I quote this on the daily
Every performance of this guy is my mind all day. Constant breakdown, too many voices and thoughts, and wayy too loud.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🥰👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Thank you for saying this! I whole heartedly agree! 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💞💞
Nut juice😂
I wish my barista would do that milk list.
Pure gold
my favourite bit on netflix ever xD
Lol next time I go get coffee ima say I don’t want nut juice
That American accent when he's quoting milks 😆😆
I still don't get why they called it milk when it doesn't have any actual "milk" properties 😅😂
He always so funny and cheers me up. I hope he's doing okay
It's funny how he didn't mention that even the Cow milk has no less than 4 kinds. (1%, 2%, full, and VitD Enriched)
I'm sorry, but until I have spider milk, I'm not stopping.
I'm getting Michael McIntyre vibes here on the milk rant.
This guy is the most honest and wonderful human being in the world. I love you. From a seventy-one year old woman in Australia. 😅😍😍😍🤣🥰
I went to see this show at the o2 and it was absolutely amazing
Did you say all man milk? Hey this guy wants all man milk
I'll eat cheese, eat ice cream, but I don't drink plain milk.
All I can say is he is so Funny
So true...
Wait , till he learns about creamers' ?Hazelnut , caramel michiato , Hershey's .
LoL .
I saw him on TikTok for the first time and it was this
Holy cow 😂😂
Title was enough to make me laugh
I hear bull milk is quite nice
You cant milk a bull...
@@HCain you can if you don't mind the milk being sticky and salty
@@bt3743 what.
@@HCain You sweet innocent being...
@@prince.birdiie you child
Such a cool idea 💡
If we have milks why do we have empty formula shelves in cvs stores?!
Whoever gave this video it's only single dislike is dead inside! This is fucking hilarious!!!!!!
Why is this so relatable. I don’t drink milk OR coffee!
Most I should POSSIBLY be able to relate is through STARBUCKS HOT CHOCOLATE. MAYBE. Like I legit don’t give a crap what milk you give me in something, because I never ingest something using milk in which I can TASTE the milk. There is legitimately no difference to me. Which is why I’m annoyed when people make me choose, because TF IS THE DIFFERENCE
I actually know someone who’s lactose intolerant and allergic to most nuts
yep, i was once in a hospital for several months back then.
n when i freed from there, "that" thing happened to me, at my favorite boba drink stall near the train station.
n lookin at the newspaper's date, i was like, "dafuq, how long was i pass out?"
n when the waitress politely asked "excuse me, r u not coming from somewhere near here?"
then in confusion, whithout any hesitation i was like, "excuse me, i just freed from my captivity."
Remember to grab a clean turtle shell first each serving
That was pretty impressive.
I do like my nut juices, but I don't really consider them 'dairy' or 'milk'. They're just tasty new juices.
There should only be two kinds. Lactose and non lactose, that’s all humanity needs.
My new favourite ❤️🏆💐💯
I would love it so much if I could go to the supermarket and see rows of nut juices instead of "milk".
At first, I thought he said, "recycling Dum Dums." I was so confused when he then said, "Stick it on the washing line." That's when I realized he said condoms. 🤦♀️😂
2024 we gonna have wall and door milk lmao
I've been alive since the 70's and it was only three days ago I learned that if you mix powered milk with milk you get double milk because there's more milk per milk.
Aw man it's censored
Drinking almond milk atm.
Where I live our mill is either red cap or blue cap
Drinking any milk from any straw is unacceptable unless your two or younger, or your grandmother served it to you in a straw
All in these comments must sacrifice their lives so I may create the 200 piece chicken nugget
Oh you sweet summer child there are way more than 12