Jack Whitehall Is NOT HAPPY With Vegans | Stand Up

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,7 тис.

  • @jpage813
    @jpage813 4 роки тому +10253

    “She looked at me like I had requested it from hers” That killed me 🤣🤣🤣

  • @abbiecarter4578
    @abbiecarter4578 3 роки тому +5503

    fun fact, in arizona plant-based milk can no longer legally be allowed "milk" because the farmers got mad, so we have a wide variety of "nut juices"

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 3 роки тому +236

      First time I’m envious of America

    • @shutout951
      @shutout951 3 роки тому +148

      @@chriscostanza8873 i give it about 20 minutes before the French milk farmers park their tractors on the highway and bring this to Europe.

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 3 роки тому +43

      @@shutout951 french milk market is very different they have levels of pasteurisation to consider first.

    • @bossman8805
      @bossman8805 3 роки тому +148

      imagine being such a snowflake you get upset by something being called milk 😂 that’s like saying oh you can no longer say chicken drumsticks cuz percussionists got mad

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 3 роки тому +3

      @@bossman8805 ironically milk substitutes actually have a much higher profit margin, shelf life and I’ve found people are actually willing to pay more for it for those snowflakes are fairly business savvy

  • @aricaine5024
    @aricaine5024 4 роки тому +10543

    He would be the most wonderful actor for Shakespearean comedies.

  • @thecalamity278
    @thecalamity278 2 роки тому +3195

    "We have enough milks. STOP MILKING SHIT"
    Dumbledore said calmly

    • @LilKitten9620
      @LilKitten9620 2 роки тому +17

      Omg I heard that in my head 🤣🤣🤣

    • @rasmuspetervammenrsns3353
      @rasmuspetervammenrsns3353 2 роки тому +7

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @EthanBuildz
      @EthanBuildz 2 роки тому +8

      I like how I read that in Stephen frys voice

    • @callumhowgego14
      @callumhowgego14 2 роки тому +17

      HARRY DID YOU MILK THE GOBLET OF FIRE? Dumbledore asked calmly

    • @fnfaddict
      @fnfaddict 2 роки тому +4

      im not happy with us either 💀💀 we figured out how to milk rice

  • @marycanary86
    @marycanary86 4 роки тому +4819

    "will everyone. stop. milKING. SHIT?!?!?!"
    i had to pause and cry-laugh

    • @edram4051
      @edram4051 3 роки тому +15

      That makes two of us! 😂😂

    • @BadoodRust
      @BadoodRust 3 роки тому +12

      Better than stealing milk from cows that produce it for their babies which are also stolen so that humans can consume it and not them

    • @sheilahanindra3316
      @sheilahanindra3316 3 роки тому +4

      the MILKING part got me

    • @mistermack4987
      @mistermack4987 3 роки тому +22

      Vegans : We are the only species that drinks the milk from a different species
      Zookeeper that has spent his life feeding milk to every baby mammal ever: Uhh...Wot?

    • @mistermack4987
      @mistermack4987 3 роки тому +9

      @@BadoodRust True because lions and sharks never seperate the weak and young from the herd for food

  • @KDaisy_82
    @KDaisy_82 4 роки тому +6216

    "We have enough milks. STOP MILKING SHIT!!!" I'm crying. He is absolutely one of my favorite comedians.

    • @imperallady
      @imperallady 3 роки тому +35

      Stoooop milkiiing shiiit! I laugh like hell every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @lisa_san7037
      @lisa_san7037 3 роки тому +9

      I can’t breathe 😂😂

    • @lordaurelius83
      @lordaurelius83 2 роки тому +9

      If the video had captions I would've made it into a meme

    • @spinarch5482
      @spinarch5482 2 роки тому +4

      This man complains in sope opera.

    • @thegreenrabbit2737
      @thegreenrabbit2737 2 роки тому

      same tho

  • @racheljones2328
    @racheljones2328 4 роки тому +7423

    Just gotta say, that shirt makes his blue eyes POP!

    • @K100-b3e
      @K100-b3e 4 роки тому +129

      He knows it

    • @kingjamestres
      @kingjamestres 4 роки тому +60

      The fact that I only noticed now that his eyes are blue makes me disagree lol

    • @faithfulforever6331
      @faithfulforever6331 4 роки тому +16

      He may be wearing blue contacts that make his already blue eyes stand out even more.

    • @sarahtoner6914
      @sarahtoner6914 4 роки тому +19

      Hes a beaut 😍

    • @Thesleepypoet
      @Thesleepypoet 3 роки тому +17

      It's the stage lighting too

  • @HardDiff
    @HardDiff 4 роки тому +6857

    “Your suffocating me~ no actually I’m making you oxygen negative” I shall use this quote in my life somewhere.

  • @totome9039
    @totome9039 4 роки тому +1738

    I love the british humour. Some people find it dry but i find it hilarious. I love how they can be snappy too.

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 4 роки тому +19

      I know right? Trying to explain it to anyone just nigh impossible, it just is funny!!

    • @AnnaPxx
      @AnnaPxx 4 роки тому +13

      It's brilliant! One of the reasons why I moved here. Some people don't get it thou. From which part of the world are you from if I may? 🙂

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 4 роки тому +11

      @@AnnaPxx I am from Yorkshire in England (so a northerner if you're game of thrones fan!) I've been raised on British humour so I understand it haha 😁😁 What about you, my friend?

    • @AnnaPxx
      @AnnaPxx 4 роки тому +4

      @@sarahbrightmore3749 thanks for replying! I live in Yorkshire too 🙂👍🏼, I'm Italian originally 🇮🇹 🇬🇧

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 4 роки тому +1

      @@AnnaPxx No worries always nice to chat, which part of Yorkshire? Wow always wanted to see Italy

  • @richardxia1720
    @richardxia1720 2 роки тому +364

    “You are suffocating me!”
    “Just making you oxygen-negative”
    💀💀💀

  • @devolinedits4481
    @devolinedits4481 4 роки тому +8440

    “We’ve got a coconut milk - We’ve got an almond nut milk - We’ve got a hazelnut milk - We’ve got a cashew nut milk - We’ve got a macadamia nut milk - We’ve got an oat milk - rice milk - hemp milk - soy milk - you can have it from a bean, from a _____ , from a nut, from a grain, from an oat, from a _____ , from a seed, from a tree”. SOUNDS LIKE DR. SEUSS FOR THE 21st CENTURY

    • @xakirax_8864
      @xakirax_8864 4 роки тому +68

      It does!

    • @the_purple_kat
      @the_purple_kat 4 роки тому +105

      I think the two blanks are pulp (or pulse?) and wheat.

    • @thecassman
      @thecassman 4 роки тому +167

      The blanks are 'pulse' and 'flax'

    • @gablison
      @gablison 4 роки тому +47

      I thought it was pulse and leaf

    • @jimmyjab190
      @jimmyjab190 4 роки тому +27

      @Ruach Van der Merwe cow milk tastes good, everything else doesn't

  • @harmonyqueue
    @harmonyqueue 4 роки тому +4004

    Jack: You are drinking _nut_ juice.
    Gays in the audience: I don't... get...

    • @stephss
      @stephss 4 роки тому +48

      Right...only gay people with testicals ...

    • @frogsy1464
      @frogsy1464 4 роки тому +17

      Steph Ss shhhh

    • @bjn_bikes9015
      @bjn_bikes9015 4 роки тому +4

      Your not wrong

    • @thekrrib
      @thekrrib 4 роки тому +27

      Yup ... I've got no problem drinking nut juice 😉 ... Oh, I'm a chick ... and a Vegan 😆 Best Vegan bashing comedy I've ever heard.

    • @cacadordeliberalprogressis1500
      @cacadordeliberalprogressis1500 3 роки тому +2

      ha, thats gayyyy

  • @danniep2737
    @danniep2737 4 роки тому +389

    Literally whenever I have cereal now, I'm like "Gotta pour my dirty _titty_ milk"

    • @janewhite9398
      @janewhite9398 Рік тому

      You think that's funny sad little person oh sorry your a cow because you obviously are you drink her milk made for her baby 🍼

    • @PapaLobo94
      @PapaLobo94 11 місяців тому +3

      Well played, good sir 👏🏻👏🏻😂😂

  • @Dayday-6297
    @Dayday-6297 4 роки тому +770

    4:35
    "You drove here in a fucking hummer"
    Bruh I was drinking the milk from my cereal and it came out my nose XD

    • @hussainbedair7676
      @hussainbedair7676 3 роки тому +16

      But was it disgusting titty milk?

    • @Dayday-6297
      @Dayday-6297 3 роки тому +20

      @@hussainbedair7676 Yes, yes it was titty milk

    • @richyyLR
      @richyyLR 3 роки тому +4

      Sure it did

    • @aesthetichousehold3319
      @aesthetichousehold3319 2 роки тому

      @@Dayday-6297 DISGUSTING *WAVES A CROSS IN YOUR A FACE* /j

    • @phoenix0166
      @phoenix0166 2 роки тому +26

      Wait the cereal or the milk? Also what kind? Was it from a tree? A seed? A nut? A flower? A family SUV? A brick? A goddamn cell tower because we’re that kind of people?

  • @davidamado3651
    @davidamado3651 4 роки тому +262

    And quoting Taylor Swift: “Oh damn, never seen that color blue”... his eyes are gorgeous

  • @lexietaylor9722
    @lexietaylor9722 4 роки тому +1932

    The best part is, he’s making fun of all types of milk drinkers. This was so funny.

    • @talyah23
      @talyah23 4 роки тому +61

      No he isn't...he's making fun of vegans while being proud of drinking raped cow milk meant for calves and not humans.

    • @kikidee6741
      @kikidee6741 4 роки тому +51

      @@talyah23 Raped💀 Now we're raping the cows huh....what in the world

    • @lifeoftennis1285
      @lifeoftennis1285 4 роки тому +26

      @@kikidee6741 Submit/force a puppy into a cage/rack so she can’t escape and then shove your fist and a rod up her private parts... and it’s rape
      Do it to a cow though... and tHeRe’S nO IsSuE

    • @NYD666
      @NYD666 4 роки тому +37

      @@lifeoftennis1285 well, tastes great

    • @yaamir7201
      @yaamir7201 3 роки тому +11

      @@lifeoftennis1285 Spitting fax

  • @liriquack
    @liriquack 4 роки тому +1684

    Those pretty eyes...

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 4 роки тому +10

      I never noticed them before.
      Are they contacts?

    • @liriquack
      @liriquack 4 роки тому +9

      @@TCt83067695 I don't know, this is pretty much the first time I've seen him

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 4 роки тому +12

      @@liriquack I just watch another clip and he made a joke about wearing contacts and sleeping with his eyes open on a plane.
      So yeah these must be contacts lol.
      Awesome detective work if I do say so myself lol

    • @liriquack
      @liriquack 4 роки тому +2

      @@TCt83067695 yeah that makes sense!

    • @AmWhoCares
      @AmWhoCares 4 роки тому +12

      ​ @TCt83067695 I had never noticed his eyes before this clip, Googled him and on all the pictures I've seen he always had blue eyes... Guess his polo shirt really brings them out

  • @acutierolls
    @acutierolls 4 роки тому +2563

    Jack's got the posh vegan jokes done and Daniel sloss has the middle class vegans sorted

    • @xpledgeturnprestigex
      @xpledgeturnprestigex 4 роки тому +18

      Posh and middle class are generally the same thing, aren't they? Most middle class people I know are also pretty posh haha

    • @janimates2204
      @janimates2204 4 роки тому +61

      Emily Stark the difference is that middle class thinks they’re posh

    • @yellowcrocs9000
      @yellowcrocs9000 4 роки тому +22

      Emily Stark think it depends on the area you live in cuz most middle class ppl ik aren’t posh at all lol

    • @AMPFEAST
      @AMPFEAST 4 роки тому +14

      I dont know if one can really talk about "sorted" and "done" considering how lame the jokes are and how they will probably wont even phase most vegans except maybe for their misinforming character

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 4 роки тому +26

      @@AMPFEAST who hurt you boo?

  • @AlexB-mu8ox
    @AlexB-mu8ox 4 роки тому +660

    Having been plant positive for nearly a decade I’ve seen too many comedians’ vegan skits just be downright offensive... this was excellent and the man has not an ounce of malice.

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 3 роки тому +21

      You think? I have a minor problem with all these comedians, being extremely liberal about everything, but when it comes to vegans, they become very... in lack of a better word: racist.
      And I have a problem with comedians providing comedic relief for mass rape and mass murder...

    • @Tcrumpen
      @Tcrumpen 3 роки тому +94

      @@Zett76 its not that they are making jokes about vegan as a dietary choice. Its the attitude of the people they are making jokes about

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 3 роки тому +13

      @@Tcrumpen you mean like "you are killing animals, for no vital reason"?
      (which is just fact)
      That "attitude"? 😁
      (and more often than not, even "I'm vegan" is enough to trigger and/or offend people... 😂)
      Don't call your reactions our mistakes. 😉

    • @pig9412
      @pig9412 3 роки тому +18

      @@Zett76 Wow, you literally proved his point. 🤡 Well, lets mark you off as another stereotype and have the rest of us move on with our lives.

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 3 роки тому +1

      @@Tcrumpen what about the "comedic relief for mass murder" don't you understand? 😁
      I mean, I get it. As everyone tries to believe to be one of the "good" ones, you have to ignore that part...

  • @eyela3236
    @eyela3236 3 роки тому +72

    the delivery in this bit is iconic -- he really got the absolute best out of a good concept

  • @oliviascott2995
    @oliviascott2995 4 роки тому +929

    *makes joke about tofu*
    camera: *pans to Asian man*

  • @hiroki_rinn
    @hiroki_rinn 4 роки тому +204

    My brother-in-law said “nut juice” while we had a similar “too many milk options” conversation the other night and my UA-cam listened and recommended this video. 🤣

  • @lunarcreepypasta6937
    @lunarcreepypasta6937 4 роки тому +898

    My lactose intolerant butt: "Lol yeah too many milks" *Chugs half gallon of milk* "Imma regret this later but that's a problem for future me"

    • @mayimwater3858
      @mayimwater3858 3 роки тому +61

      "Would you please refrain from entering the hotel swimming pool if you have active diarrhea"

    • @lunarcreepypasta6937
      @lunarcreepypasta6937 3 роки тому +7

      @@mayimwater3858 😂😂 of course Distinguished Host!

    • @curse4384
      @curse4384 3 роки тому +5

      “And u don’t give a damn about that guy”

    • @leviroch
      @leviroch 3 роки тому +18

      You can always tell if someone's a real lactose intolerant person coz they'll just roll the dice when it comes to cheese. . . Bust out the triple cream brie and crackers and they'll just buy an extra roll of shit tickets and pre-book the loo :D

    • @cvgurau
      @cvgurau 3 роки тому +4

      if i ever met past me that guy’s catchin hands

  • @spinarch5482
    @spinarch5482 2 роки тому +191

    "Last I checked, almonds are pretty flat chested"
    "You are drinking NUT JUICE!!"

  • @lucasvrochopulos7327
    @lucasvrochopulos7327 4 роки тому +276

    This is completly off topic. But his eyes are so blue!

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 4 роки тому +3

      They are, aren't they? 😍

    • @papagrounds
      @papagrounds 4 роки тому +4

      It's the magic of the same colored shirt.

    • @sahibathind5373
      @sahibathind5373 4 роки тому +3

      Sexy aren't they 😜

    • @lucasvrochopulos7327
      @lucasvrochopulos7327 4 роки тому +1

      @@sahibathind5373 i mean i do have some kinda crush on this man, so i guess we could call them that 😆

    • @davidransom643
      @davidransom643 3 роки тому

      That’s pretty much on topic because it’s his looks if anything that have made him successful

  • @Milfuelle100
    @Milfuelle100 4 роки тому +1165

    Me: *laughs*
    Also me: *hasn't had dairy milk in 3 years*

    • @roxie6519
      @roxie6519 4 роки тому +31

      Ten years for me, yet I was laughing on floor!

    • @simransimran9339
      @simransimran9339 4 роки тому +4

      You mean the chocolate or regular milk?

    • @gamleskalle1
      @gamleskalle1 4 роки тому +1

      4 years

    • @roxie6519
      @roxie6519 4 роки тому +10

      @@simransimran9339 Either. I am both allergic and lactose intolerant.

    • @kogbechie123
      @kogbechie123 4 роки тому +2

      4 years for me too!

  • @maggiem6209
    @maggiem6209 3 роки тому +134

    I don't think I've ever had to pause a comedy vid to literally cry laughing. 😂😂😂

    • @bazza5699
      @bazza5699 3 роки тому +1

      and you paused this!??? blimey.. you need to watch some actual comedy

    • @maggiem6209
      @maggiem6209 3 роки тому

      @@bazza5699 Not usually a comedy fan, myself. I tend to be frustrated by it more often than not but I find one every so often that makes me laugh.

    • @bazza5699
      @bazza5699 3 роки тому

      @@maggiem6209 look up Stewart Lee... and his stand up regarding observational comedy...

  • @xploitcat
    @xploitcat 2 роки тому +29

    "Nope, just making you Oxygen Negative."
    Is the sickest one-liner i've ever heard.

  • @NightRainPanda
    @NightRainPanda 4 роки тому +405

    He manages to diss vegans in the least offensive way possible, where even the vegans are kinda like, *yeahhh*

    •  Рік тому +2

      You haven't met many vegans…

    • @NightRainPanda
      @NightRainPanda Рік тому +6

      @ Yes I have. Most of them, pretty chill with this sort of humor.

  • @Howiesgirl
    @Howiesgirl 2 роки тому +26

    I'm American & this gentleman popped up on my feed today out of the blue, so I watched several of his videos. He's hilarious!! This particular bit about vegans had me laughing so much that I had to keep stopping the video so I didn't miss anything. I live in a very rural, meat & potatoes area, so I really appreciate this bit of humor.

    • @helenchelmicka3028
      @helenchelmicka3028 2 роки тому +1

      Def check out his American vs British clip 🤣🤣🤣

  • @noodsoof541
    @noodsoof541 4 роки тому +688

    “Nope, just making you oxygen negative”

  • @Ali-lh1st
    @Ali-lh1st 4 роки тому +220

    He just called a condom a bag for life😂😂

    • @sonnyrynsaard3567
      @sonnyrynsaard3567 4 роки тому +17

      It's more a bag *of* life

    • @kangaroo7525
      @kangaroo7525 3 роки тому

      @someone in the world I think they did... Sperm creases life.

  • @MarkWhiley
    @MarkWhiley 4 роки тому +530

    I only drink vegan milk but laughed out loud. Honestly, they could cut it down to Oat Milk only and be done with it. The rest either taste a bit crap in coffee and for breakfast or require a lot of water to produce. Oat is also good for most intolerances and if made from gluten free oats then you solve that as well. Bonanza.

    • @Milfuelle100
      @Milfuelle100 4 роки тому +20

      I much prefer almond milk

    • @mooonedropper
      @mooonedropper 4 роки тому +5

      You sir are a waste of space

    • @nyams8
      @nyams8 4 роки тому +10

      Oat milk is the besssst!!!

    • @TG-xp5zw
      @TG-xp5zw 4 роки тому +31

      I'm vegan and think most of them taste odd or bitter. I always recommend oat milk to anyone looking for dairy free options.

    • @HerbOlTea
      @HerbOlTea 4 роки тому +32

      Hm I think soy milk is the best but oat milk is ok too. I don't get the problem with having choices though.

  • @cattheloud
    @cattheloud 4 роки тому +84

    "Would everyone...stop...MILKING SHIT?!" has become part of my household's daily vernacular.

  • @hanikazuha
    @hanikazuha 2 роки тому +51

    "I'd like it from a nipple please..."
    Can't get enough of this after repeating it over and over again

  • @notfunny6606
    @notfunny6606 2 роки тому +18

    The way he said "milking sh*t" was executed perfectly

  • @annejie
    @annejie 4 роки тому +991

    This is hilarious! But all those milks are a rescue team for allergic people, really. As a mom of an allergic kid I hope all these do not vanish from the counter.

    • @authorofone
      @authorofone 4 роки тому +32

      So pea milk is a rescue? How? I get having a lactose intolerance, but you don’t need 4000 variations

    • @annejie
      @annejie 4 роки тому +138

      @@authorofone There are different types of allergies, there are multiple allergies, and each of them would require a different replacement.

    • @annejie
      @annejie 4 роки тому +47

      @@Gorgomosh it is the way nature tells us that we are wasting and polluting it. And also that we eat and breathe shit that we've created ourselves.

    • @gwenthielman932
      @gwenthielman932 4 роки тому +109

      Gorgomosh please don‘t be so rude. Imagine having a nut allergy and someone else is lactose intollerant. Soy milk is the answer. My niece for example is allergic to quite a lot of things and the only milk she got to drink in the past was butter milk and she didn‘t like it at all. All these options have been a blessing for her because sometimes your allowed to have a thing, but it might not taste good to you. Jack was laughing with it but i also don‘t think he intends for people to be mean about it towards others

    • @francomuscellini1744
      @francomuscellini1744 4 роки тому +6

      @@scottdelinger1 and if you drink it you get send to the bad place

  • @houdasalhi3076
    @houdasalhi3076 4 роки тому +337

    Not a dairy drinker but actually dead this is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @classifiedx8861
    @classifiedx8861 2 роки тому +50

    “Your suffocating me”
    “Nope, I’m just making you oxygen negative”
    -Jack

  • @treble2994
    @treble2994 3 роки тому +28

    Whitehall's stand up has really improved. He used to be majorly repetitive, but now he uses word play and has grown into himself beautifully!

  • @Pumpkin0_0
    @Pumpkin0_0 4 роки тому +388

    How can he look like a kid and an adult at the same time?

    • @kerryann9851
      @kerryann9851 4 роки тому +10

      Have you heard of John Mulaney? 😂

    • @Pumpkin0_0
      @Pumpkin0_0 4 роки тому +6

      @@kerryann9851 Of course, but John Mulaney only looks a bit like a kid and an adult at the same time these days, while this guy takes things to a new level. John Mulaney's combination is more like an older teenager and a 30 year-old. lol

  • @miklosmorandini8211
    @miklosmorandini8211 4 роки тому +256

    I mean... the word for plant positive is "herbivore"...

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 4 роки тому

      You mean.

    • @saoirse7167
      @saoirse7167 4 роки тому +1

      Is there something wrong with ‘herbivore’?

    • @willowweedsYT
      @willowweedsYT 4 роки тому +21

      Miklós Morandini Funny, but wrong, a herbivore can’t actually biologically process meat, someone who is plant positive sounds more like they’ve contracted a rare illness where leaves grow out of their ears.

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 4 роки тому +2

      @@willowweedsYT "actually"

    • @r0bw00d
      @r0bw00d 4 роки тому +2

      @@willowweedsYT Or cauliflower.

  • @rsswd
    @rsswd 4 роки тому +243

    He's turned into his father.

  • @SS-uo3uf
    @SS-uo3uf 4 роки тому +47

    I like how the segment ended, he pleased both the sides 😂

  • @akiraamamiya4966
    @akiraamamiya4966 2 роки тому +21

    The way he said "would everyone stop MILKING SHIT" just killed me

  • @professormcnasty800
    @professormcnasty800 4 роки тому +128

    I DIED AT OXYGEN NEGATIVE I CANT

  • @warriorbard
    @warriorbard 4 роки тому +204

    Lol, as someone who is lactose intolerant, I would still agree that there are now way too many alternative milk options. I honestly didn't even know you could make milk out of some of these ingredients. I just get normal lactose free cow's milk because I have tried some of these rice and oat and hemp milks and if that's what I have to look forward to then I'd rather never drink milk again.

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 4 роки тому +20

      OK good for you. There are people allergic to soy, nuts and literally loads of other allergies so it's nice to have variety. I appreciate the humor but those alternatives are also more for vegans too. Plus I have a milk allergy so even lacto free milk made me ill, which confused me till I realised it wasn't just lactose I can't have, it's milk from cows. To get lactose out they boil it the milk, but if you're vegan this is pointless. Personally oatly oat milk is my milk of choice. This show is obviously for humour purposes, imagine agreeing with it. 🙄

    • @warriorbard
      @warriorbard 4 роки тому +19

      @@mariakhan7986 Ain't nothing wrong with agreeing to statements even if it is for humor purposes, Maria. Everyone is allowed their opinion. It's great that there are substitutes out there that cater to people's allergies and dietary requirements. What's not great is when they try to force these substitutes on you and then condemn you for just wanting the original stuff.

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 4 роки тому +4

      @@warriorbard I am not that kind of person. I do, however, object to the concept of too many substitutes. Believe what you want, but like you said, I have a right to disagree.

    • @rachelfox8108
      @rachelfox8108 4 роки тому +1

      @@mariakhan7986 I didn't think they took out the lactose by boiling it -- I thought they added the lactase enzyme to it (at least, that's what my cartons of lactose-free milk say).

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 4 роки тому

      @@rachelfox8108 that's what the back of the ones I buy say so maybe different brands have different techniques but anyway it's still milk at the end of the day.

  • @aperson9641
    @aperson9641 2 роки тому +17

    He sounds like the perfect Victorian era villain, and I love it

  • @SavingwithSaadi
    @SavingwithSaadi 2 роки тому +17

    I've seen this special four times, and I always burst out laughing at "Would everyone....stop....MILKING SHIT!!"

  • @severinalarie
    @severinalarie 4 роки тому +1030

    Jack: I come from a very rough part of London called Notting Hill
    Me, an American with no clue what Notting Hill is: *snort laughs*
    Edit: I understand it’s a joke and I understand WHY it’s a joke. My COMMENT was a joke. Please stop telling me what Notting Hill is. Thank you.

    • @randomgachaboi2234
      @randomgachaboi2234 4 роки тому +15

      I can relate

    • @esobelisk3110
      @esobelisk3110 4 роки тому +119

      I’ve never heard of Notting Hill before, but the name is so aggressively posh, I just thought of it as 'whatever the Scottish think the English are'.

    • @ivylasangrienta6093
      @ivylasangrienta6093 4 роки тому +8

      You should watch the movie.

    • @DevyaniMulik
      @DevyaniMulik 4 роки тому +2

      @@ivylasangrienta6093 lmao, yes

    • @gabrielle916
      @gabrielle916 4 роки тому +5

      I think of the movie Notting Hill.

  • @henrikkjuus90
    @henrikkjuus90 4 роки тому +39

    That shirt really brings out his eyes. Also, I have never seen anything so blue in my entire life

  • @Letmetalk123
    @Letmetalk123 Рік тому +9

    Love how he genuinely looks like he’s in pain talking about this issue

  • @wafalakhchine7044
    @wafalakhchine7044 3 роки тому +13

    " hot or ...cold " I couldn't breathe for a hall minute 😂😂😂😂

  • @nabilahstephens3983
    @nabilahstephens3983 4 роки тому +80

    As someone who is allergic to almonds and soy, intolerant to coconut, can't have cashews on large amounts. That's why there so many milk types. I live off rice milk but my favourite is macadamia as it's so thick and delicious, better than actual milk in my opinion. Sucks I'm dairy intolerant since I love cheese so much 😭

    • @lt.branwulfram4794
      @lt.branwulfram4794 4 роки тому +2

      That’ll be something to remember for the person inviting you over. It’s what Ronny Chieng ruthlessly, unapologetically and without a shred of remorse, refers to as a “genetic failure”. I personally disagree with this statement myself , but for reference, that stand up is also on Netflix.

    • @BeefySpam
      @BeefySpam 4 роки тому +1

      I never realized coconut intolerance was a thing until I realized I had it recently.

    • @nabilahstephens3983
      @nabilahstephens3983 4 роки тому +1

      @@BeefySpam I know, it's in so many products too, thankfully I can handle small amounts but buying stuff can be so hard. Especially ice-cream and beauty products 😬

    • @BeefySpam
      @BeefySpam 4 роки тому

      @@nabilahstephens3983 Exactly!

    • @fredrikmudas
      @fredrikmudas 4 роки тому +1

      You love cheese until you farts 😂

  • @hendelcyp
    @hendelcyp 4 роки тому +19

    *"it's a bag for life"*
    ahahaha the double meaning thoo

  • @jays9869
    @jays9869 2 роки тому +11

    This man is so whimsical, what a joy.

  • @ara4271
    @ara4271 3 роки тому +76

    Friend: You’re suffocating me
    Jack: Nope! Just making you oxygen-negative HAHAHAHAH I DIEDDD

  • @laikacons
    @laikacons 6 місяців тому +2

    “What are your milk options?”
    “Hot or cold”
    Lol

  • @austindolan7182
    @austindolan7182 4 роки тому +252

    he sounds like if stewie griffin did stand up.

    • @lowdives7406
      @lowdives7406 4 роки тому +3

      wtf his voice is anything but

    • @sirduckington5435
      @sirduckington5435 4 роки тому +8

      Idk you drove here in a fuckimg hummer sounded pretty close

    • @dottie1966
      @dottie1966 4 роки тому +1

      Yes! came here to say this!

    • @peachylady
      @peachylady 3 роки тому

      No.

  • @Hotdog-nr3kr
    @Hotdog-nr3kr 4 роки тому +510

    Hey man, I’m just trying to save the world

  • @tiffiguevara2926
    @tiffiguevara2926 4 роки тому +40

    His voice is soooo mature nowww. But his wits is still great. Love you Jack! We mias you and Michael and winston :D

  • @xwedfgh
    @xwedfgh 2 роки тому +27

    Being a lactose intolerant myself, society definitely needs to lay off the nut juice.

  • @keti6437
    @keti6437 3 роки тому +7

    "We currently don't have a cure for cancer and there are twelve milk substitutes" LMAOOO THIS KILLED MEEE

    • @Chepperz
      @Chepperz 2 роки тому

      Ironic considering the milk he's asking for contributes to several types of cancer 😂😂😂

    • @SpareSomeChange8080
      @SpareSomeChange8080 2 місяці тому

      ​@@Chepperz which milk?

  • @infinitevirus4826
    @infinitevirus4826 4 роки тому +143

    You are drinking *N U T J U I C E*

  • @kristenblount8422
    @kristenblount8422 4 роки тому +57

    The first time I used a reusable (metal) straw, I chipped my tooth. I switched to silicone straws but I still fear they might attack too.

    • @Drexxaal
      @Drexxaal 3 роки тому +1

      Sorry! But also so 😝😜funny!

    • @orchardlea
      @orchardlea 3 роки тому +1

      You're not supposed to try to eat them!

  • @Schuyyyy
    @Schuyyyy 4 роки тому +69

    Most of the coffee and milk tea places where I live only have cow's milk but I'm a bit lactose intolerant 😂

    • @larsvegas1505
      @larsvegas1505 4 роки тому +1

      wait so u farted 1 time after drinking a glass of milk.. amazing!

    • @rkah6187
      @rkah6187 4 роки тому

      I think there's lactose free cow's milk by now, isn't there?

    • @victoriansteam1562
      @victoriansteam1562 4 роки тому +5

      @@larsvegas1505 well i get diarrhea like crazy so I'd advise taking intolerances seriously

    • @Wustenfuchs109
      @Wustenfuchs109 4 роки тому +2

      @@larsvegas1505 It means that body can't process the ingredients of milk and AT BEST people feel bad and bloated after drinking it. Farts, while common in that situation, are the least of the problems. Also, it is NOT normal for grown mammals to drink milk - in humans it is actually a result of a freak mutation in the "old world" region that allowed some humans to keep drinking milk when they grow up.
      So making fun of people who are actually a world's majority and quite frankly in tune with the rest of the evolutionary tree, is not really a smart thing to do.
      Me myself? LOVE milk! Used to drink it as soon as it was milked, still warm. Half of my meals had milk or some dairy product included. But as I grew older, it started to make me feel bad, more and more. Now, I avoid it for simply not wanting to physically feel bad after a meal. Do I still LOVE it? Damn right I do. But I still avoid it.

    • @MsOgr1
      @MsOgr1 4 роки тому

      Just drink it black. It doesn’t need milk.

  • @chuckysmom4142
    @chuckysmom4142 4 роки тому +94

    Lactose intolerant here. I like oatmilk at the moment. This is hilarious though!

    • @CyclingUrchin
      @CyclingUrchin 4 роки тому

      Same I laugh so hard at this but I drink oat milk and almond milk only

    • @JediWebSurf
      @JediWebSurf 2 роки тому

      You mean Nut juice of the oat variety.

  • @infires2013
    @infires2013 4 роки тому +49

    Jack: "hail of tofu!"
    Cameraman: *cuts to some Asian people*
    Utter coincidence 😂😂

  • @Th4t_guy_
    @Th4t_guy_ 2 роки тому +7

    "MILKING SHIT" needs to be a text notification lol

  • @W.1617
    @W.1617 4 роки тому +60

    I don't even drink "regular" milk anymore and this was funny as hell😂

  • @sarahmack2598
    @sarahmack2598 2 роки тому +5

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"nope just making you oxygen negative" had me on the floor🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @RebeckaSarkozy
    @RebeckaSarkozy 4 роки тому +51

    Hanging out with his dad Michael has brought out the posh in him.

    • @orchardlea
      @orchardlea 3 роки тому

      Having spent his life at prep and public schools probably brought our the posh in him when he was little 🤨

  • @minus4425
    @minus4425 2 роки тому +1

    *You're the ones milking f**cking cashew nuts* killed me

  • @aspennnnnn11235
    @aspennnnnn11235 2 роки тому +2

    The little move he made when saying "macadamia nut milk" killed me

  • @missblondiee22
    @missblondiee22 4 роки тому +344

    Okay but like, not only am I lactose intolerant, but I'm also allergic to almonds and soy, so I'm down three milk options, Jack! Yes this is a joke and I think its funny but it actually is nice to have a wide variety of options lol

    • @diananeuman6222
      @diananeuman6222 4 роки тому +3

      lactase pills solve your problems. I dont leave home without them. I hear what you're saying, though. I work in schools (when we have them again!) So nut "milks" are not an option, plus, i hate them.

    • @walkerassasin277
      @walkerassasin277 4 роки тому

      Pea milk

    • @missblondiee22
      @missblondiee22 4 роки тому +17

      @@diananeuman6222 I'm allergic to those too lol

    • @Yakarash
      @Yakarash 4 роки тому +13

      At least it is a relatively harmless issue to laugh about. It is a personal choice for most (unlike gender, skin color etc)
      Though I don't get why everyone gets so defensive about veganism. It's not that different than being passionate about bacon, or whatever kind of food you prefer.
      I never have to bring it up, because everybody talks about it constantly. I don't like the taste of meat. I force myself to eat it now and then because it's difficult to get plant based food at Restaurants and most people don't know how to prepare a vegan meal that tastes edible.
      It must suck for those who genuinely can't eat most foods because of health reasons.

    • @fridayschild722
      @fridayschild722 4 роки тому +3

      Until I was in my mid 20s when I moved out of india, I’d never heard of lactose intolerance. If I were , I Guess I would have just died,lol. In india the milk is a mix of cows and buffalo milk, which is thicker and and creamier compared to cows milk. Most of the dishes have ghee in them and almost all sweets have milk in them. But in recent years I’ve met a lot of people (non Indians) who are lactose intolerant, could it be because of our dietary lifestyle now?

  • @barbara9315
    @barbara9315 4 роки тому +42

    “You are drinking nut juice!”

  • @Allindriss
    @Allindriss 2 роки тому +3

    OmG Jack is that one guy who always tells some story from his life and you and your friends love to listen because he can describe it in such a funny way

  • @girlbutter4760
    @girlbutter4760 3 роки тому +5

    The way he said "You´re the weirdos not me" killed me

    • @toni4729
      @toni4729 Рік тому

      Agree whole heartedlee.

  • @HBoyle
    @HBoyle 4 роки тому +45

    Me: vegan of four years laughs ass off 🤣

  • @Thatholyboi2941
    @Thatholyboi2941 2 роки тому +3

    The emotion of his voice is hilarious

  • @akankundamima738
    @akankundamima738 4 роки тому +76

    Funny and handsome 🤗🤗🤗

  • @nattmelankoli
    @nattmelankoli 2 роки тому +5

    "you're suffocating me"
    "no, just making you oxygen-negative" i can't 💀

  • @xanderking3971
    @xanderking3971 2 роки тому +1

    I have just found this guy and the way he just continuously goes crazy on stage is the funniest thing ever.

  • @Marquee_Gaming88
    @Marquee_Gaming88 2 роки тому +1

    I can't stop replaying this 0:31 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @girlperson5946
    @girlperson5946 4 роки тому +76

    🤣🤣🤣 Although cycling to work is not about being a better. It's because I am a cheap af and there is always some dirty c#@& on public transport whose mission is to infect the rest of us.

    • @PercivalBlakeney
      @PercivalBlakeney 4 роки тому +4

      Oh not just me then.
      😁

    • @jamie1602
      @jamie1602 2 роки тому

      There are people who try to do that and it's infuriating. Like, Kyle. Shut up. People are poor. I don't care that it's leg day. Most of us are poor.

  • @mand6377
    @mand6377 4 роки тому +103

    I don't understand people that come to the comment section just to say how this was not funny and then be rude about it. Guys, you don't like it, don't watch it. I don't like Kevin Hart's comedy - I don't watch it. Without being rude to him or his fans.

    • @mandolinsam7901
      @mandolinsam7901 4 роки тому +8

      Yeah, you don't like our comments, don't read them.

    • @ethanpiper6221
      @ethanpiper6221 4 роки тому +4

      Sam Brown but you just skipped over the point he made

    • @booshter9714
      @booshter9714 4 роки тому +4

      @@mandolinsam7901 if people are getting bent out of shape over jokes then they seriously need to sit down and reevaluate their lives.

    • @kaziiqbal7257
      @kaziiqbal7257 4 роки тому

      You can’t leave comments on the netflix special

    • @friendgray1
      @friendgray1 4 роки тому

      It’s normally the type of people who think comedians like Peter Kay or Sarah Millican are funny, so who cares what they think?

  • @KikeNavarrete68
    @KikeNavarrete68 4 роки тому +67

    He is so handsome

  • @Marie-ss9so
    @Marie-ss9so 2 роки тому +4

    "YOUR DRINKING NUT JUICE!"says jack whitehall (i died of laughing from this stand up comedy)

  • @Denkis_Lightning_Lover
    @Denkis_Lightning_Lover 2 роки тому +6

    I love this man he cures my depression

    • @toni4729
      @toni4729 Рік тому +1

      Turn carnivore, that'll cures anyone's depression.

  • @MarciCaroline83
    @MarciCaroline83 4 роки тому +16

    LMAO! I watched the whole stand-up last night! Hi-lar-i-ous! xD No one couldn't say it better!

  • @tiburonroano
    @tiburonroano 4 роки тому +106

    Sing Ja Ja Ding Dong!!!

    • @Niki91-HR
      @Niki91-HR 4 роки тому

      😂😂😂😂😂

  • @christinamagee7093
    @christinamagee7093 4 роки тому +5

    He’s hilarious and divine! Those eyes man whew, it’s getting warm over here lol

  • @Virgo4927
    @Virgo4927 3 роки тому +3

    Its the first time ive ever seen this person and his eyes just pop out to me the most

  • @idek2973
    @idek2973 4 роки тому +27

    Basically Jack and John Mulaney are the same person 😂😂jk I love them both

    • @nonsensycal1900
      @nonsensycal1900 4 роки тому +3

      Jack's from modern day, John Mulaney is from the 40's... That's the only difference

  • @isitfashion
    @isitfashion 4 роки тому +55

    I tried hemp milk once, I had to throw it away. I like almond and oat. I would describe rice milks taste as: stupid.

    • @ashginsberg7472
      @ashginsberg7472 4 роки тому +5

      Rice milk is the skim milk of the vegan milk world

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 4 роки тому +1

      OK but it's great for your hair. Idk we Asians use it cause it helps keep our hair healthy

    • @tracy9610
      @tracy9610 4 роки тому +2

      @Ash Ginsberg That’s it!! For years I’ve been trying to put my finger on it and now I know.

    • @HarekaTysiri
      @HarekaTysiri 4 роки тому +1

      rice milk is actually a milk substitute for poor people in Asia

    • @ashginsberg7472
      @ashginsberg7472 4 роки тому +1

      @@HarekaTysiri that's super cool!

  • @1Dreamking
    @1Dreamking 4 роки тому +11

    Amazing! So many LOL's in a really short time is rare. :)

  • @Ballin4Vengeance
    @Ballin4Vengeance 2 роки тому +10

    “Stop MILKING SHIT!”
    Thus spake he, and the people laughed and cheered, for in their bellowing they understood not of his wisdom.

  • @kresensiawidya759
    @kresensiawidya759 2 роки тому +10

    Just love how he exploded energy everytime he's on stage 😂 the only reason why I drink other milk than cow's is just because I'm curious. I'd still choose cow's milk any day

  • @unconditionallymissie8368
    @unconditionallymissie8368 3 роки тому +3

    YYEEEESSS!!!! I need more! This guy is so funny!🤣

  • @itzmomo9
    @itzmomo9 4 роки тому +8

    Not me drinking almond milk while watching this lol