Depends for me if I’m silent its most likely because I’m embarrassed or annoyed or just bored or tired and i can clearly show that with me just being silent.
I've always been told "You're too quiet, why don't you talk?" But honestly, I feel like when I DO talk, no one is really interested in LISTENING to me or to what I have to say, so I just prefer to remain silent. Also, over time I've come to realise that the more silent I am, the better I can listen to and observe people and situations from a distance, so it's a win-win situation for me. I've learned to accept and appreciate my quietness now instead of resenting it. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason after all :) 1:36 VERY relatable omg 3:39 Even more relatable lmao. It's amazing how you can see into my brain 😂
Wow you just spoke my mind. I just so become used to my silence that it feels unfamiliar when I suddenly talk too much. It feels out of character. And yeah most of the time when I do talk people always cut through my words and start talking right in the middle. Its such a turn off that I give up. So then I just remain silent and listen to them ramble the whole time.
Thank you for your insight. It's too bad that sometimes people around us who are more outspoken may nudge us to speak when we just don't really feel like saying anything because of personal reasons. For you personally, how do you usually respond when someone says, "You're too quiet, why don't you talk?"
“I feel like when I do talk, no one is really interested in listening to me or to what I have to say, so I prefer to remain silent” Oh my gosh, thank you! Someone understands the struggle.
The reason why I am becoming more silent is because most people either ignore me or criticize me right afterwards. I usually am more silent towards some people, not everyone.
I was always the quiet one at school and it took me a while to not care what people thought about me. I’ve been told that I’m boring to be around which used to bother me but I realised I open up a lot more when I’m with a small group of people that I feel comfortable with. I get really vocal when I talk about topics I’m passionate about and that I find interesting. I’m just an observant person who speaks when they’re spoken to. I also find that when I would talk in a big group, no one was listening because I wasn’t the most interesting person there so it feels like learned behaviour. I was so happy when I finally found a solid friend group and was never ignored again.
At school i was always left out. I didn't have a chance to realise i could be an extrovert if i had a tiny bit of support from friends bc i didn't have any. Well, i left them now and I'm back to being ignored but at least i know what I'm truly like under healthy circumstances.
@@chilathecreativefox9098 yeah I've been trying to keep that attitude. I know my value. But loneliness kills when you're social and no one includes you.
Timestamps 1). Restoration 0:20 2). Getting close to people 1:10 3). You are not interested 1:59 4). Observant 2:59 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I remember being called out by a classmate and my friend’s moms for being quiet. I always think I preferred to not speak if I could help it. Or rather I wasn’t sure what to say much of. But my friends steadily brought me out of my shell.
@@Psych2go gradually just normal chats about things we liked or things we found funny. The banter and camaderie helped me feel less distant. As for the second question, I still struggle to put into words what I think and feel without looking insane. Sometimes my head feels empty or far from where I am today. I think I’m just disillusioned with how unfortunate our reality is and just not wanting to indulge it often. But that’s not really possible so I try meditating to ground myself.
@@neofulcrum5013 same... used to be so silent from middle school to high school (my max conversations to people is 3 words per response, the longest sentence you can hear from me is when I am in a school report lmao. And my mom gets annoyed of me because i speak too softly). Managed to be more vocal in college. It felt like I speed run through the experience i should have got from highschool and middle school after meeting like minded people. There's something in my mind that bothers me like I should have experienced it earlier like everybody else but at the end I still feel assured and thankful that I still met people that would make me experience what growing up feels like and what really matters is where I am currently and how fast you get there doesn't matter. Now though I still go silent, not because I still feel hesitant, but because my brain is so overload with stimulus that if I'm not careful I might just say what I'm thinking. (Probably because of my upbringing, it feels like a pressure cooker being released gradually after being sealed for so long.)
The second I saw this video, I clicked on it. I am struggling mentally and physically and am always quiet and icing our people. When I saw this, I wanted to know why I’m like this
your gonna be alright when you understand why you are quiet, everyone struggles at one point in life, thank you for telling us my friend, its gonna be alright.
I really think the pandemic messed me up I was very social at one point but I stayed in my house for such a long time with a mask on and out . Self isolating.
This vid really hit hard. As a kid, I was always getting the lowest marks on my report cards for behavior because I talked too much. Countless times my mom had to meet with teachers to figure out a way to get me to stop talking. Now that I'm older, I find myself rarely ever talking. Half the time I cant even think of things to say, so I'm forced to say silent. Not sure what happened to me along the way, but I went from being excessively vocal to basically having 0 conversations with anyone all day (family included).
Silence isn't weakness, man. Despite my family going hard on me, they say they're proud of me. Idk what it's called, but I have had like a mental condition ever since I was a kid where my mom should talk around me since I had problems of speaking. People love you for you and not a version of you. Take it from someone who had this issue but still managed to get decent grades . I believe in you
I feel that :) as a girl my dad used to tell me that I was too loud. So I just stopped laughing and being myself. I don’t being silent though so I’m working on speaking more now. You don’t have to change back if you want to though. There’s nothing wrong about either way :)
When I was a kid, I was quiet. Although, I still struggle with speaking to this day. Back then people would usually remark on my quietness with “It's always the quiet ones” or “It's like I am talking to a brick walk!” It made me feel like I was a bad person for being afraid to speak
@@7Write4This9Heart7 I have a learning disability ("Auditory Processing Deficit") so I don't talk a lot. I don't always understand what people say and have to go "Huh?" a lot. Also, it takes me longer to process what was said-I have to run it back in my head and sort of "read" their words. So my responses are slower. Sometimes I can't get words out clearly enough or quickly enough and that's embarrassing. And sometimes I simply forget that a response (as a whole set of words describing a thought) is required and expected. I communicate in words best by reading or typing. It's similar to a deaf person. I communicate pretty well with them because a lot of it is facial expression, body language and something like telepathy.
I was mostly quiet all throughout high school because my peers isolated me a lot. I was an outcast in each grade I was in. I was also quiet because I was trying not to be a target for teachers and other students to harass me. 😔
I get that. Some of my classmates isolated me on purpose, making sure i wouldn't make friends with the new kids. No one ever noticed how they used to treat me. Girls always get away with bullying. I thought i was supposed not to mind. I put up with many things in order not to look hurt. I hate how it still hurts. Loneliness hurts. Bc I'm back to the same position as before and they've made it, i have no one to talk to. I had my first real panik attack on a school trip recently and i blame them for it. This isn't me. Normal me wouldn't get panic attacks and social anxiety. I like to talk and joke around. But it doesn't come out natural at school any more.
@@mynameisjonas4191 At least none of your teachers saw you as a target. My mom had to get involved because it was so bad. I was literally emotionally traumatized by 3 of my teachers.
@@HazbinCovenWitch I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been a lot more harder for you to be targeted by teachers. That's too out of line. No, thankfully i didn't have that. I hope you're doing better now.
I used to be really quiet and shy, all through school. But, over time I started involving myself in random acts of kindness, in year 10 I decided to hand out math books for people, or hold the door open for people before and after class. Eventually, people started complimenting me, “thank you” turned into “thank you, {my name}.” Over time I started to build confidence and people started liking me, constantly mentioning me when talking about kindness. This continued until year 11 (current year) when I had another boost in confidence, I started approaching people, and others approached me. Over time, people started to really like me, and I liked them back. I’ve made so many new friends now and I’ve never been at a happier point in my life. If it weren’t for the random acts of kindness I did the previous year, I would of likely still been all quiet and shy still. So my message to all of you: always go out of your way to show a bit of kindness, it can go a long way. Thank you so much for reading my entire comment! Goodbye forever, have a good one!
I think this video speaks volumes to me. Ever since I was a kid, I used to be that quiet kid that people would often find weird. Never been good at reading social cues. Talking can be and sometimes is really painful to me, as I struggle to find topics people would like to talk about otherness stuff thay I like since I don't really like my country's trending topics and stuff(boring stuff sometimes), and even more so when you try and get to meet strangers because you'd feel like nobody would love you. Even worse, my family-usually my sis and dad- gives me hard time to express myself without correcting me or treating me like a child. I do have hobbies and hangout with my relatives, sometimes with 2 relatives from mother's side, and sometimes my older cousin. However, it gets hard waking up from sleep as you hate yourself for being alive and made the way you are. It got worse during covid as I lost someone I loved and that ruined me. I am better now, just sometimes struggling to love myself. I am different from who I was now, but a bit better. I wanna know how to love myself sometimes, but it gets more difficult every time
You have as much right to be heard as anyone else. Nobody is better than you. Stay true to you & don't change in the pursuit of people pleasing. I know it's easier said than done & we have to conform to social conventions to a degree but it's so liberating to be authentic. Act & speak from your heart. Hang in there friend & stay weird! 💜
@@hannahmitchell87 Thnx. I hope you can be happy too. The past few years have been great since I started challenging myself, even if i don't do so well.
@@necromasker666 i'm really impacted by what you're sharing and i'm sending you warm energy. It might bring some relief to acknowledge that your future self will almost certainly look back at this version of you with deep love, respect and appreciation. this might just be something you have to go through for a while before getting there. some people struggle for a long time to find their people, but you are right on track by being in touch with yourself and seeking out answers. these things can take a long time to figure out, but you'll be glad you put in that time.
As a person who rarely speaks in public and social situations, I only became this way because of my childhood. Not all of my quietness is because of that fully, too. But, I only had a friend. One friend at the time. We spoke as we waited for the school bus to arrive. We spoke on the way to school. At school, at recess, and just a lot in general. Though, we slowly drifted apart. I started to separate from the crowd at recess and talk with other people. I walked around and curiously looked at bugs. I helped worms out of puddles. I only had 3 other friends, yet rarely spoke to them. One moved away, the second one stopped talking to me, then the third was because I had to go into the next school in the district. I had to go to the friend bench to play with other kids. I did talk to others sometimes, and as I said, that was rarely ever. And then the second reason is because I was confused how to start a conversation. Even listening to others doesn’t really help. I just never knew how to, really. I also slowly got anxiety to talk to others. Slowly, I just became an outcast. I, now, have no friends, and social anxiety. I just grew to not be very social anymore. All I do now is listen to others’ conversations. I do have enjoyment talking to others, still! I just get super scared due to thinking I will be judged. I eventually will try to talk more again. Well, if I ever do “try”. I may not ever. Anxiety sucks, man. Anyway, I don’t know how to end this. Also another random story I remember. So one day, waiting for the school bus, I was standing by a tree. I glanced over, not really noticing what was next to me at first. Looking again, I saw a squirrel staring at me. It was, at least, a foot away from me. It was just facing face first, staring at me. It didn’t move barely. I said “hi” to it and watched it. Didn’t even move an inch! I just thought that was kinda interesting. Have a good day/night!
Hi, thank you for your comment. We want to ask, for you personally, what is it like having social anxiety? If you don't mind us asking, how does social anxiety affect your day to day life?
@@Psych2go its horrible. everytime i go out into a public place i feel like everyone is judging me even though they arent. i never want to pay for something when shopping just in case my card gets declined or i embarrass myself infront of a cashier. being at school was hell, i was in a group of three and i was the one who got left out. the whole three years i went there i just felt like i was following my other two " friends " around so now im in a online school. i want to make friends i want friends but at the same time i dont. i dont have the energy, motivation and my social skills are basically non existent. i feel like everything i do and say is embarrassing and i just have a really boring personality anyway so no one will ever truly want to be friends with me. i cant even go to a park with my parents, i cant even go shopping with them or go on a walk im just too scared. people my age are making so many memories with their friends and im just in my room basically everyday for 4 years. i only have 3 friends and im aware that they have other friends but it just makes me so sad knowing im not as important to them as they are to me.
Wow, thank you for sharing such a detailed response. Your situation sounds extremely tough. It feels very debilitating and limiting. Have you sought any professional counseling to help with your situation?
@@nelly2837 wow, I relate so much to this. I'm also in an online school and while it has its perks, it has its downfalls, like being lonely and isolated a lot. I have few friends, and like you said, they are important to me whilst I'm not as important to them
I used to be silent and isolated half of my life. But I realised that being silent made me comfortable as I keep everything to myself no one ever has any argument or conflict with me. that seems nice but I realised being like this all the time, I was getting depressed and hurt by people around me. So I would say don't be silent, "where you have to speak up for yourself" and others. also it's good to be silent at times.❤
I've been put as the quiet one in the high school. Even my teacher asks the whole class to be silent and let me speak. It was the most humiliating & anxious time I've ever been, and I never forget about it. I want to but I kept remembering that moment. To this day, I still can't continue conversations between my colleagues and families. I need the other to start speaking first before I can even start.
i prefer to stay silent as i feel as though people don’t listen to me fully. not only that, I speak softly and with a lisp so people can't understand me to begin with. I think that it's beneficial for others to not have to stress over what I'm saying all of the time, having to ask me to speak up, and having to repeat what i just said 5 times over to then give up cause they still can't understand me and now i'm frustrated at myself and at them
I related to the second point a lot. I can still dimly recall the point where I started to feel bad about talking about the things I liked. My best friend had been taken out of school to be homeschooled instead. I was kind of adrift and no one else I tried talking to shared my nerdy interests. I remember forming the thought that would start a long, miserable pattern of self-destruction. "No one likes the stupid things you like. Shut up and stop making a fool of yourself." I gave up on trying to make friends, assumed I was unlikable and just accepted loneliness as my new default. I still wound up with a few scattered friendships here and there, but there was always a part of me that couldn't understand what they saw in me. That's something I still struggle with as an adult so many years later. The cherry on top though? The last little parting shot of my terrible highschool years? I learned, in my senior year, that my peers all assumed I was The Quiet Kid Who's Going to Snap and Shoot Up the Place. In my depressed silence, everyone filled in the blanks with something they were afraid of and avoided me. In my clueless isolation it just seemed to me like my conclusion that I was unlikable was accurate. When I learned what most people thought of me, I broke down and cried. I've never been a violent person and that huge misunderstanding caused me so much pain. Huh, guess I've got no problem spilling my guts to random strangers on the internet though...
@@karenbartlett1307 I was surprised to see someone took the time to read and reply to all that. I am in a much better place, mentally these days. Thank you for your kind comment.
@@mumboexeyeye4240 You're welcome! I didn't have much fun in high school, either, but I can tell you that life changes and things usually get better. 🙂
It's messed up that people will run with the thought of us quiet people shooting places, I never understood it. Sorry to hear they treated you so terrible I'm glad your out of there.
I was almost always the quiet one, and I still am unless I’m with my parents or family, than I can talk with them. When it comes to other people, I’m silent because I think I’m just shy when it comes to meeting people. Plus, I don’t think I’d be able to hold a conversation, unless it’s a topic I really like. So yeah, that’s kinda my 2 cents on my view on being silent. Also, I’ve watched your videos before, just haven’t gotten around to watching them again. I’m glad this video was in my recommended today, definitely needed it
I use to be so silent bc I always get bullied or get hurt but after being silent for a long time I was about to commit suicide before I think about being happy and being healthy but I started watching your vids and they helped me sm.
A few other things that could cause it is experiencing moments In your life that felt embarrassing at the moment then you regret later that you over thought it, panicked and took the experience negatively instead of actually stopping to realize it wasn't the case. Or Having some hyper active disorder like adhd, that causes you to get over excited and absently turn into a "motor mouth" and talk way longer about a subject than you should of. Or lastly, having a traumatic experience where no matter what you did to try to speak your thoughts you would get verbally bullied to go silent and stay silent.
I find myself speaking less and less. And yes it’s become more and more difficult to open up. But thank you for videos like these. It’s not like I’m going to word vomit tomorrow all of a sudden but yeah. Too true, the embarrassing moments, the failures, the traumas. It’s a little too much and I’ve gotten used to going days without even speaking.
i wish we were less dependent on other people but it´s our nature. maybe not everyone feels that way but there will always be people who make us feel better or worse. i´m just really glad i have that one friend now that always supports and understands me. i´m starting to get my old self back. she is very sociable which makes me a bit more social as well. i sincerely hope that you all find a way to cope with it and mostly meet people who make you feel better. generally, there is nothing wrong with you but with society and its people. it´s not always bad to be alone but I´m sure there are people that enjoy your presence. as a quiet person, i´m kinda glad i´m not the only one but i know it´s extremly difficult sometimes. this is your community, you are not alone. there are people who undertand you and won´t judge you. i´m glad you all are here.
I remember being quite talkative when I was younger, but now it's like all of that energy has left and ever since then, I became more silent over time. To this day, I still value my silence as an introvert 😌.
I hate that people will define you as quiet but never try to actually get to know you. When they do try(not all) they will only ask why are you so quiet?
Reaching the point of only speaking when necessary. Other than that, can be extremely silent to the point of not making a sound when walking. Gotten hurt way too many times to prefer any form of isolation that allows avoiding people. Sometimes I'm a bit too isolated though.
For me, I find that being quiet is related to my neurodivergence, more than just being an introvert. In some situations it's gotten so bad to the point of selective mutism, and now I've got a lot of social anxiety as well. Part of the problem is having a different communication style, for example info-dumping and not liking small talk, so that joining a conversation with neurotypicals can be difficult, and often just plain boring, because I'm not interested in more mainstream conversational topics. I've realized I much prefer conversing over an activity, for example board games, where the communication rules are clearer. Feeling rejected from past experiences where I said the wrong thing, missed a social cue, talked too long about something people didn't care about, has made me feel unwanted, and thus less likely to talk again in the future... Sometimes, I have a lot to say, but I just can't bring myself to say it, out of a fear of being misunderstood. Also part of my neurodivergence is having audio processing issues, so in a large group of people at a crowded place, it's hard to even physically *hear* the conversations around me, let alone join them. Being able to communicate one-on-one with a close friend, is miles easier than with a group of strangers. (If any of this sounds relatable to you, I recommend looking into neurodivergence, namely ADHD, autism, sensory processing issues, speech disorders, as well as social anxiety, if you want to understand your struggles more.)
I can relate to being neurodivergent with ADHD I ended masking myself for the same reasons you've experienced it's was like I couldn't have any personality or express myself so I got used to not saying anything.
yr7 and 8 were great years, i had a fun friend group and we’d socialise. In yr 9 i got depression, friends in the group had beef so we all split, i got depression soon after, i had been bullied and about anything and everything since yr4. Usually about my lack of knowledge of the outside world or being too innocent to understand things. So i was back to being picked on. Sadly there is no happy ending and im in yr 12 going through every day of school with a straight face, a lack of recognition, high state of depression and suic thoughts. but its a lesson for everyone that its better for you to reach out and find new friends or a reach out to another person becuase no matter how far you fall, one action can put you back up
I always been quiet since childhood. I remember my Dad always coming in my room asking if I was okay. Some people are just chill and those people are my tribe. 🤗I love quiet laid back people. They are jems❤
I’ve found the silent ones are by far the most interesting. Really quiet guy in my class during my college freshman year didn’t really stand out, but once we talked, his mind was jam packed full of knowledge, creativity, passion, etc. With the more outgoing types, it’s just the same old drama related shit or event oriented things.
I've always been silent and in a family where shouting over one another to be heard was the norm that really made me stand out in an unpopular way. I prefer to observe, take in details, memorise the space I'm in rather than idle chit chat. I can speak to others if necessary but I'm just as comfortable staying quiet if nothing of note is being said. And that's probably why I like writing, it's a way to express myself without relying on speaking to do so.
Awww, thank you so much for sharing Psych2Go! 🥺 Exactly what I needed nowadays. And to all who commented, I feel relief that I'm not the only one experiencing this being silent for reasons. I can relate to it and I want to socialize with my classmates and be friends with them. I want to share this to you guys, that I was embarrass last sem because I made a mistake and disappointed my groupmates, and that made me shy away from my classmates when I shouldn't be anymore. But I hope that they forgave me already and it taught me a lesson to always be open and to be a better version now. 😌
Some people deny so much just to have their mindset the foremost. There is also with social anxiety or can't speak up for themselves or would rather not share their opinions at the fear of being judged.
Through these videos I've learned to acknowledge the fact that im VERY emotionally unstable, I needed help. I appreciate these videos as I could feel that you are speaking to me, addressing my mental state that I've grown to ignore. The fact that my own silence is killing me day by day is agonizing. But I've been faced with the reality that I need to act nevertheless because if I don't I won't be able to live the life that I want. And with that I yearn to see the day that all of my anxiety, stress, and suffering alone will one day be gone.
I'm an introvert so, I don't usually start conversation by myself, but now I am so used to be ignored that, most of the time, I don't even try to speak and I just listen to what the people around me are saying.
I've experienced three of these first I was an observer. I broke out of that during middle school and became more social, but in my last year of middle school I got yelled at by some girl who in the previous year came to me and my friend saying no one liked her. I didn't understand why no one liked her at first because she seemed a nice girl, later on though I would understand. She yelled that I wasn't part of my friend group and other mean things. I got ready to defend myself and I felt confident because I had my friends to back me up or at least I thought I did. Instead of defending me, who is timid and cautious of others, they silenced me. They told me not to mess with that girl she causes problems. I felt so betrayed and cornered. Ever since then I feared getting close to others and stayed silent, hence in my freshman year of high school I isolated myself (during quarantine times) I skipped school on the in-person days and locked myself in my room. My family didn't know what was wrong, my mother was upset cause my school dropped me. I fell into a depression and only got out of it after my mother passed away by the end of my freshman year. My life completely flipped I had a choice to make dropout of school take the GED or continue going normally. I chose to go back and makeup the credits I didn't make my freshman year because my mom wanted me to graduate from high school so my mother's death became my motivation to get better. So I did, although in the process I got kicked out from my cousin's house, moved in with my aunt, who frequently threatens to kick me out. Whenever my aunt says something upsetting, I stay silent to keep my peace of mind and not say anything rude. I am not one to let people walk all over me so this is hard, but I did it.
I am pretty quiet and for years I didn't speak like ever because I was really shy, but when I found the people that make me happy I am so talkative and I love to speak infront of them because I have some stuff I wanted to say but couldn't and now I think I'm selfish and so I hate it now...
I used to talk all the time. I used to be so excited to talk to people and make new friends. I think once I realized that others thought i was annoying I just stopped. I even have a hard time granting myself full permission to talk with friends. I still talk with them but not like I used to be able to. I can no longer think of fun topics to talk about at the top of my head. I can’t let myself talk for too long or get too excited because I’m annoying
It' probably only if you talk excessively that people find you annoying. Most people like to talk, so remember to give them a chance to talk. Then they won't be annoyed.
I’m almost never quiet. It’s a problem, because without taking some time to process a social interaction, the rumination on other’s problems start to echo through my mind and then I can’t sleep. You can also respond with more than just words. If you agree with someone, but have nothing to really add, nodding while making a “eureka!” face lets them continue if they haven’t finished their points. I do this because I often interrupt people mid conversation due to my impulse to not lose my latest thought. Pushing that back down, helps to get the full message, rather than being reactionary. ADHD is annoying, but knowing how to cope means I’m an asset wherever I go.
I became silent because I moved high schools quite a bit. I never kept any of the previous friends I made, so I stopped trying. If I didn’t talk, I wouldn’t make friends, so I wouldn’t get hurt again. Me being silent only hurt me more because now it’s hard me to talk at all. I’m not good with conversations now and it’s really hard to make and keep friends
The second issue relates to me the most, I find myself not daring to say things due to the reactions I got in my previous experience or interactions with others...My attempt on it usually backfires but it's understandable why people think so
I feel the same way. I’ve had times where things didn’t come out right and I got judged for it. Now that weighs on my mind almost every time I want to put in my 2 cents.
This video is so relatable! I relate to everything that's said in this video. I have autism and I prefer to be silent. I usually do not feel the need to talk or the interest in getting to know other people. It just doesn't bring me much joy. I often feel like people do not really care for what I have to say anyway. Because of my autism it is also difficult for me to understand how others connect. Talking comes so natural to other people, or at least it seems so and it's difficult for me to find a connection with someone. Other reasons for why I don't like talking are because I feel like I need to put up a rehearsal all the time and also because I fear being judged. It's hard sometimes, since I do kind of crave connections with people but at the same time I don't really want it at all.
I’m used to staying quiet because every time I speak, someone interrupts and tells a whole other story, completely blurring me out like I never spoke at all. And it has happened way to much for it to be an “accident.” The bad part is, its all my “friends” to. They make me feel like I shouldn’t have ever talked to them or talked at all. So I got used to being quite because I realized that my words don’t always matter, interrupting is rude but still, I should be listening to them more than myself. I really do love your channel and I hope that nothing goes wrong in life for you! ❤❤
Sometimes being too quiet is not good anymore. I'm a superb introvert, but cutting connections and just spending time with my own company made me realize it's really quiet and dangerous. I hate being so quiet now.
I just want to say thank you again Psych2Go! You helped me go to therapy and see that I was being extremely dismissive of my problems because I was raised that way. Turns out I have avpd, and that's why I'm such a quiet person. I've been in therapy for over eight months now and I'm doing so much better than I was last year!
@@Psych2go A whole lot of cbt and especially helping me to challenge my negative thoughts. Honestly though, we made a ton of progress through months of cbt, group therapy sessions in addition to the personal therapy sessions and a great deal of exposure therapy. It also really helped that my therapist specialized in personality disorders. He also started me on Prozac. It wasn't doing much at first, but after getting a good dosage for me, I'm feeling great! I'm talking to my friends more and I'm nowhere near as anxious as I used to be. Honestly, the medicine seriously sped up the growing process. Of course, there's still a lot more to do, but that's okay. I'm curious to see where things go from here considering my therapist is moving to Kansas (I live in Louisiana) in a few weeks. After this summer, I'm have a new therapist. I just hope whoever it is will be as good as the last therapist I had.
I’m just sick of my friends sometimes and even though I feel like I’m losing them I just can’t bring myself to interact. I also feel a weird sense of superiority by not speaking in some of my easier classes, because in my mind I don’t need to contribute because of my intelligence in a self-absorbed way: Doesn’t totally make sense. I’d rather observe and make the things I say count instead of saying the first thing that always comes to mind.
Wow, maybe my first friend bullying me affected me more than I thought. I just wish I could go back in time and really see why I stopped talking in school and most group social situations. Like I never would talk. If I did it was barely anything. I’m still trying to not be so quiet. It upsets me because there were things I wished I said in the past, I could’ve made friends instead of sitting there and doing nothing. I could have retaliated (with words) against people who made fun of me. I’m really going to dive into discomfort from now on. I can’t never talk at all. It’s just limiting to me. I don’t need to turn into a super sociable talks to everyone kind of person, but I need to talk at least a little bit. Show people who I am.
as someone who is quiet for me it's mainly that i was told to shut up a lot when i was younger ,but all these fit for me as well. I've been ignored by friends when i speak to the point where I don't even try anymore.
I'm starting to go more silent, but I used to be so extroverted and talking all the time it annoyed others and me to. I annoyed myself. When I was 13 I tried to be more quiet, so others wouldn't be angry at me. Now I'm 15 soon turning 16, and I'm more introverted then I have ever was. I still talk to others, but sometimes when I want to say something, I tell myself that nobody would care and be more annoyed. I still sometimes just say something and then regret it later. I think often that it would be better if I couldn't speak. Sorry for my bad grammer, grammer is hard for me in any language I can speak and write.
Sometimes, I've been so quiet, people didn't even know I was in the same vicinity as them. I'm not the best icebreaker, but I'm getting a little better about it. And getting hurt by the people you didn't know could hurt you hits close to home (arguably the many rejections I have gotten), and it did suck, but it's not keeping me from getting what I want, though.
I am habitually silent. Not for any of the video-mentioned reasons. I have things to talk about. Problem is, people will just brush off what I'm saying. My definition of "involved in a conversation" has now become saying 2 sentences every 15 minutes. If the conversation lasts that long. My problem isn't that I choose to be silent. It's that people ignore me anyways. And when I do get a sentence in, people are quick to interject and talk about what I just said, not leaving much room for me to continue. And by the time I get to speak again, the subject has changed. So I kinda have to use concise answers to everything in a social setting. It's that or incomplete ones. And it's gotten so bad I basically forgot how to socialize. Something as simple as my parents asking "How was your day?" and I will be out of my mind trying to recall how it went. Which is hard since half the time I don't even remember what I ate for breakfast. Or if I even had breakfast. And my parents are the type that want quick answers to their questions, and never want them concise. Which is a problem, since they are part of the people that give me few chances to speak. It takes forever just to get their attention (even though one word from either of my brothers gets them immediately). It's fun being the middle child that has to meet similar expectations to what the oldest has to, while having almost no experience from being the oldest (the oldest is older, so he is almost always in charge, leaving me to not know how to when the time comes), or the benefits (oldest has more experience in the house doing stuff, so he is able to do extra since hes fast enough, and get rewarded for it) of being that old. I'm silent because I've been silenced for so long I've forgotten how to have a voice. To have a say in things. To say things. I rarely have a need to put words together, so I didn't really have much of a reason to practice socializing if being social just means watching 2 people in a group of 3 have a conversation, knowing I can't interject, no matter how much I want to.
It doesn't have to be just one time someone makes you feel bad for speaking. A lot of neurodivergent people relate experiences where, because their communication method differs from the majority, there is trauma around social interaction, which can lead to them becoming withdrawn. However, get neurodivergent people in a room together without neurotypical people, and conversation often (but not always) flourishes. Make time, if you can, for mixing with your own neurotype, where you're far more likely to find comfort and safety, and the confidence to be yourself.
I used to be the shy kid, and eventually someone who preferred to listen to more than speaking. I like observing more too. It's interesting what you can find out and learn. Now, it doesn't mean I don't talk at all. I just prefer to talk to someine who's willing to care and listen to what I have to say. I think it's also more enjoyable to watch. It doesn't take as much energy for me and as someone who loves to write, it's a fun way to develop my characters I create.
I was an only child and my parents drilled the “do not speak unless spoken to” into me every time we went out in public. I had zero social skills going into school, and college was worse since I moved away and didn’t know anyone. I went four years through college without making a single friend. I’m now 34 living in one of the most populous cities in the US, with zero friends and still have never gotten close to being in a relationship.
Speaking to people and being scared of what they think of you or they want to judge you for every little thing you do ........ How less important you become. Really love this video feel it speaks of me alot
oh my god... this video PERFECTLY discribes me. the thing is i enjoy talking to people but it can be tiring and use a lot of my social battery so i try to stay quiet and heavily think before i speak... which has lead to me having no friends and being too scared to go up to others and make friends.
“You are too quiet.” “You never say anything.” Yea, Because im uncomfortable, or I just feel like I do not fit in. Whatever I have to say don’t mather to you all anyways.
i haven’t made a peep for two whole school years ever since the pandemic. I had no one to talk to, no one talked to me, so i just got used to it. AND this video explains in *exact* detail of how i got so used to being quiet😭
I have gotten used to being extremely quiet in public places. It’s so bad that I can’t speak at all at school so I’ve been typing on my iPad to communicate. It’s likely that i have a rare anxiety disorder called selective mutism. I didn’t know what it was until I started to slowly develop it, it’s worth looking into if you have great difficulty speaking in certain situations but you can speak fine with certain people in certain places.
Being someone who doesn't go along with the latest trends, series, or fashions and sticking to the things I love most is the main reason I'm quiet. I'm positive I ain't the only one. It's not on purpose, it just isn't really my taste. Sticking to what I love makes me myself even if I don't move fast along with the latest game or anime or show that's airing. It does make it hard to socialize for two reasons. One, it's hard to relate when you don't follow the trends so when one comes up, it's sudden since you're not looking for it. Two, you're afraid others won't like the things that keep you separated from the fast moving world since it's old news, reputation ruined, or something nobody is interested in. Those two reasons are heartbreaking. Even if you're like me and aren't moving fast along with the world, remember there's groups you could search up of the topics you love. There, you can engage, be yourself, and hopefully make some friends since you have interests you like. Trends come and go pretty fast thanks to the internet and the world continues going round but remember, you matter.
I had most of these i believe, my past experiences hindered my personality. My goals, motivation, self respect, my think skills as well as social skills were all gone. Even still to this day, I struggle with English, and that's all I know how to speak, I feel like I need therapy, but I'm in the military and their specialists I don't think I can get anything out of it, I feel like I need to count on yall to help me understand why im broken
I used to talk all the time. Then people started saying I was stupid and didn't know what I was talking about. Made me think a little as to whom really didn't know. Me or them. I accepted it was me and just stopped talking. I listened but eventually came to not really caring anymore what they said. I know they say women speak more per day, I might speak 100 words a day and only if spoken to first. It's my quiet place and I like it. I get to form my own opinions and thoughts without them being tainted by others. I really don't miss trying to converse with others on a social level. Real life friends stab you in the back and one can only have that so many times, just like trying to find a boyfriend. Being quiet lets me form my thoughts and ideas into something I could connect with others with, only if I want to.
I might be used to being so silent because of being ignored a lot when I try to talk.. I mean not a lot but I guess most of the time.. Which makes me even less enthusiastic to talk to people now, and even when I try, I'd just seem abnormal when I talk, idk I just get the feeling of being out of place too I guess. I have this weird habit of second-guessing/being embarrassed when I speak too.. Maybe it's my own delusion, maybe it's not. 🤷♀️ I'm still trynna figure things out and be more comfortable with my quietness. And I'll even try to be more confident when I speak. I guess I'm always used to being right (not to sound cocky) that I'm afraid I'll misspeak something. But to everyone who's also trying to figure things out, I'm glad we're all in this together and I hope we can all be with peace with ourselves being quiet and not feeling bad/embarrassed about it too :)
Gosh, the getting close to people one hit pretty hard. I mostly stay home because my parents need to stay home for work, and I don’t go to school. So I guess I’m just out of practice with being social. When I’m in a group of multiple people I don’t have much to say because usually nobody’s gonna ask me anything unless I speak up. When I do have something to say, it takes me so long to say it that the moment has already passed and the topic has shifted. This happened so many times that I’m more content with just listening.
I used to share my ideas without any hesitation and sometimes I become rude or end up hurting someone else. So just to stop myself from hurting someone I started to keep myself silent. I slowly became really quiet. I have so many thoughts in my mind but it's hard for me to talk about them. Even sometimes when I'm not doing anything wrong or something wrong is happening to me it is hard for me to speak up about it. But also a good thing is I became more observant than before.
Most times, what people talk about aren’t helpful or useful. There’s always talk about shallow & sometimes annoying things & gossip, I’d rather save my energy, observe and learn where necessary. I try to speak when it’s necessary, otherwise, I just observe.
I think growing up struggling with ADHD it caused me to ended up masking myself as I got older and I got used to being quiet, it's my normal. Whenever I was my hyper, silly, happy self everyone was wondering if I took my medicine it was like I couldn't have a personality growing up. Now, I always get asked why I don't talk or even that I don't like too but really I talk when I have questions and answers or when someone's talking to me. I don't blurt out things because I don't think people care about it.
OMG. Revelation. Release. Acknowledgment. Thank You very much for such a detailed account from a dr perspective of how the lack of balance in self-isolation can yield negative results. The animation is spot on. OMG
Yes thank you very much I can identify! Growing up in an environment which placed a high value on obedience and every answer was incorrect, even agreeing was manipulated into being weak! Being silent can result from survival!
I found that being silent is better. I have a son with Asperger a form of autism. But, my best friend tells he is outgoing around her. She forgets that he is only around her once or twice a year. Also, he is on an anti-anxiety drug. As well as he has known her and her family all his life. That is why he acts differently around her than strangers whom he will not look at or will walk away from when someone is talking to him.
Personally its quite the opposite for me. When I start talking, everyone tells me to shut up because Im "wrecking their head" and they're "getting sick of your voice" or "you're giving me a headache". I just can't help myself but I am trying to give other people a chance to talk. Even though I'm trying to change this about myself I'm still being giving out to for things I've done in the past and then I point out that they're talking about what I did a month ago and that I don't do that as often anymore but they insist that I'm proving them right by talking back to them, there is no end to this cycle. What's worse is that this is my family we're talking about so I can't just cut ties to them altogether and I love them too much to do that. I don't know what to do about it anymore, I guess I'll keep trying to improve and hope they stop. As Always, Have a great day!
I’ve been silent throughout most of my life. It’s because I don’t know what to say or how to. I use most of my free time to myself. I listen more than I speak. It’s hard to be engaged in anything or with anyone. Overall, I’m a shy person. I just want to be more than that.
Definitely from saying the wrong things in class/around friends, starting to pivot it into active lisyening but still able to open up when feeling comfortable/safe
I have always been a quiet person. I enjoy the company of my lady-friend and she has commented that I am sometimes to quiet... [not sure whether this is a good or bad thing in a friendship/relationship]. I also find it difficult to start a conversation and/or get flustered when addressing groups. I enjoy my solitary hobbies: amateur astronomy 🔭 and short-wave radio listening 📻
I’m tired of being silent, I wanna connect with people and form relationships but my mind does everything it can to hold me back. I don’t want people to think of me as boring or disinterested in conversation but I literally can’t form a single sentence in response to whatever they say to me most of the time, same for when I want to start a conversation because I can’t think of a way to start talking. I’m unable to think of things to say I’m actually losing my mind.
I don’t usually comment on videos, but this one hits a little too close to home. I’ve always been a silent person in social situations, even as far back as I could remember. It was always easier to listen or someone then to actually speak. I was always “too quiet” to most people but no one really ever tried to have a meaningful conversation with me either. Silence is just kinda my way of communicating, kinda like how a rabbit communicates though body language.
No one ever listens when i talk. Especially when we’re in a group. But when I’m at home I’m super loud even if I’m alone. Side note: these little guys make me think of the watermelon Stevens from Steven Universe. ❤
It's better to be quiet than explaining yourself,our subjective expereince based on our perspective and cannot be same for all. Sometimes it's better to be quiet knowing no one can understand you. Silence is peaceful, words are root cause of all misunderstanding.
Honestly, there's times I...just don't like talking. I stumble over my words a lot, forget words. I think its an ADHD thing since it got better once I got medicated, but its still there and still intensely frustrating. When I was a kid, it felt like I could go days before talking. Before smiling, too, but also talking. I'm a lot better now than I was back then, but I still have a hard time, occasionally. Unless I have a script in front of me; or at least an outline, lol.
There are many reasons why I stay quiet. The biggest reason is because talking too much has gotten me into trouble many times, whether it be because I talked when I wasn't allowed to, or because I said something embarrassing that made me look bad in front of people. Another reason is because people will just talk over me. It's a horrible feeling when I try to say something and then everyone else acts like I don't exist. The last reason is because I was never very good at talking to people to begin with. There have been cases where I've annoyed people and even creeped them out because my words didn't come out the way I intended. Tripping over my words in a casual conversation absolutely sucks. Staying quiet allows me to avoid all those things. Some people think I'm weird for not being much of a talker, but I like to think it makes me more of an interesting character.
As someone that is used to be silent I... well, now I don't really feel to talk, not even in text version, but it's a really good video. Really relatable. Keep it going.
I have been told by a lot of people, mostly family and teachers that im the most quiet person they've probably met, and honestly, thats kinda truth. but, i dont like being silent all the time i like to talk about my interests to other people a lot but, i dont have anyone to talk to, and when i do, it feels like they dont listen, it feels like im being judged all the time. everytime i talk to someone i am afraid of what they think of me, of my voice, of my intentions, body language, everything, this makes me very anxious to talking to real people, even friends. this is getting worse with time and im afraid that i might not get the help i need because i am afraid of talking to my mom that i want terapy... it has been almost 3 months that i started hight school and i litteraly haven't intected with anyone on my own, i just want to socialise but i can't.
Do you think that silence speaks louder than words?
Yep
It depends but we are human beings and need to communicate.
Life isn't like an anime where it's usually noticed.
Depends for me if I’m silent its most likely because I’m embarrassed or annoyed or just bored or tired and i can clearly show that with me just being silent.
Yes 😢😢
In some cases, yes.
I've always been told "You're too quiet, why don't you talk?"
But honestly, I feel like when I DO talk, no one is really interested in LISTENING to me or to what I have to say, so I just prefer to remain silent. Also, over time I've come to realise that the more silent I am, the better I can listen to and observe people and situations from a distance, so it's a win-win situation for me. I've learned to accept and appreciate my quietness now instead of resenting it. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason after all :)
1:36 VERY relatable omg
3:39 Even more relatable lmao. It's amazing how you can see into my brain 😂
SAME
Wow you just spoke my mind. I just so become used to my silence that it feels unfamiliar when I suddenly talk too much. It feels out of character. And yeah most of the time when I do talk people always cut through my words and start talking right in the middle. Its such a turn off that I give up. So then I just remain silent and listen to them ramble the whole time.
Thank you for your insight. It's too bad that sometimes people around us who are more outspoken may nudge us to speak when we just don't really feel like saying anything because of personal reasons. For you personally, how do you usually respond when someone says, "You're too quiet, why don't you talk?"
“I feel like when I do talk, no one is really interested in listening to me or to what I have to say, so I prefer to remain silent”
Oh my gosh, thank you! Someone understands the struggle.
Did we all live the same childhood?!
The reason why I am becoming more silent is because most people either ignore me or criticize me right afterwards. I usually am more silent towards some people, not everyone.
Same bruh😢😢
I was always the quiet one at school and it took me a while to not care what people thought about me. I’ve been told that I’m boring to be around which used to bother me but I realised I open up a lot more when I’m with a small group of people that I feel comfortable with. I get really vocal when I talk about topics I’m passionate about and that I find interesting. I’m just an observant person who speaks when they’re spoken to. I also find that when I would talk in a big group, no one was listening because I wasn’t the most interesting person there so it feels like learned behaviour. I was so happy when I finally found a solid friend group and was never ignored again.
:') so relatable
Basically my social life in a nutshell
At school i was always left out. I didn't have a chance to realise i could be an extrovert if i had a tiny bit of support from friends bc i didn't have any. Well, i left them now and I'm back to being ignored but at least i know what I'm truly like under healthy circumstances.
@@mynameisjonas4191 Good, you don't need them. You only need yourself.
@@chilathecreativefox9098 yeah I've been trying to keep that attitude. I know my value. But loneliness kills when you're social and no one includes you.
Timestamps
1). Restoration 0:20
2). Getting close to people 1:10
3). You are not interested 1:59
4). Observant 2:59
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Is that it? Good job anyway, have a great day and or night!
@@galletgaming thanks for saying that hope you have a great day or night
Thank you for the timestamps!
@@Psych2go not a problem happy to help
4. Had a detrimental effect on my life now I speak out more
I remember being called out by a classmate and my friend’s moms for being quiet.
I always think I preferred to not speak if I could help it. Or rather I wasn’t sure what to say much of. But my friends steadily brought me out of my shell.
"Words are meaningless and forgettable"
How did your friends help you bring you out of your shell? Do you feel like you have more things to say now and are able to express yourself better?
@@Psych2go gradually just normal chats about things we liked or things we found funny. The banter and camaderie helped me feel less distant.
As for the second question, I still struggle to put into words what I think and feel without looking insane. Sometimes my head feels empty or far from where I am today. I think I’m just disillusioned with how unfortunate our reality is and just not wanting to indulge it often. But that’s not really possible so I try meditating to ground myself.
@@neofulcrum5013 same... used to be so silent from middle school to high school (my max conversations to people is 3 words per response, the longest sentence you can hear from me is when I am in a school report lmao. And my mom gets annoyed of me because i speak too softly). Managed to be more vocal in college. It felt like I speed run through the experience i should have got from highschool and middle school after meeting like minded people. There's something in my mind that bothers me like I should have experienced it earlier like everybody else but at the end I still feel assured and thankful that I still met people that would make me experience what growing up feels like and what really matters is where I am currently and how fast you get there doesn't matter.
Now though I still go silent, not because I still feel hesitant, but because my brain is so overload with stimulus that if I'm not careful I might just say what I'm thinking. (Probably because of my upbringing, it feels like a pressure cooker being released gradually after being sealed for so long.)
@@inf1ni7y ❤
As a silent kid in the class. I can relate it
Which part was the most relatable for you?
@@Psych2go all
Agreed 👍🏽
Same
Same
The second I saw this video, I clicked on it. I am struggling mentally and physically and am always quiet and icing our people. When I saw this, I wanted to know why I’m like this
your gonna be alright when you understand why you are quiet, everyone struggles at one point in life, thank you for telling us my friend, its gonna be alright.
I hope the video help and im sorry for your struggles
I really think the pandemic messed me up I was very social at one point but I stayed in my house for such a long time with a mask on and out . Self isolating.
@@paniniprincess5211 its also the same factor for me
@@epicTer. i appreciate it
This vid really hit hard.
As a kid, I was always getting the lowest marks on my report cards for behavior because I talked too much. Countless times my mom had to meet with teachers to figure out a way to get me to stop talking. Now that I'm older, I find myself rarely ever talking. Half the time I cant even think of things to say, so I'm forced to say silent. Not sure what happened to me along the way, but I went from being excessively vocal to basically having 0 conversations with anyone all day (family included).
Silence isn't weakness, man. Despite my family going hard on me, they say they're proud of me. Idk what it's called, but I have had like a mental condition ever since I was a kid where my mom should talk around me since I had problems of speaking. People love you for you and not a version of you. Take it from someone who had this issue but still managed to get decent grades . I believe in you
I feel that :) as a girl my dad used to tell me that I was too loud. So I just stopped laughing and being myself. I don’t being silent though so I’m working on speaking more now. You don’t have to change back if you want to though. There’s nothing wrong about either way :)
Same for me. When I was around 5 years old, I used to talk a lot, and people always said me to shut up. Now I'm 18 years old and really quiet.
When I was a kid, I was quiet. Although, I still struggle with speaking to this day. Back then people would usually remark on my quietness with “It's always the quiet ones” or “It's like I am talking to a brick walk!” It made me feel like I was a bad person for being afraid to speak
Being an observant thinker coupled with being yelled at or ignored when you try to speak makes you real quiet, real quick.
YES! You get it! lol.
@@7Write4This9Heart7 I have a learning disability ("Auditory Processing Deficit") so I don't talk a lot. I don't always understand what people say and have to go "Huh?" a lot. Also, it takes me longer to process what was said-I have to run it back in my head and sort of "read" their words. So my responses are slower. Sometimes I can't get words out clearly enough or quickly enough and that's embarrassing. And sometimes I simply forget that a response (as a whole set of words describing a thought) is required and expected. I communicate in words best by reading or typing. It's similar to a deaf person. I communicate pretty well with them because a lot of it is facial expression, body language and something like telepathy.
Sorry to hear that. But you have a way with words, very succinct and right to the point. You're very smart. I bet you could be a journalist.
Yep.
Hey, stop scrolling down to look for timestamps, whole video from start to end need the equal priority. The words and voice are just heavenly 💕
Haha thank you for encouraging people to watch the video! 😊
I was mostly quiet all throughout high school because my peers isolated me a lot. I was an outcast in each grade I was in. I was also quiet because I was trying not to be a target for teachers and other students to harass me. 😔
I hope you're doing okay now !
@@paniniprincess5211 I'm not in highschool anymore so, yeah.
I get that. Some of my classmates isolated me on purpose, making sure i wouldn't make friends with the new kids. No one ever noticed how they used to treat me. Girls always get away with bullying. I thought i was supposed not to mind. I put up with many things in order not to look hurt. I hate how it still hurts. Loneliness hurts. Bc I'm back to the same position as before and they've made it, i have no one to talk to. I had my first real panik attack on a school trip recently and i blame them for it. This isn't me. Normal me wouldn't get panic attacks and social anxiety. I like to talk and joke around. But it doesn't come out natural at school any more.
@@mynameisjonas4191 At least none of your teachers saw you as a target. My mom had to get involved because it was so bad. I was literally emotionally traumatized by 3 of my teachers.
@@HazbinCovenWitch I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been a lot more harder for you to be targeted by teachers. That's too out of line. No, thankfully i didn't have that. I hope you're doing better now.
I used to be really quiet and shy, all through school. But, over time I started involving myself in random acts of kindness, in year 10 I decided to hand out math books for people, or hold the door open for people before and after class. Eventually, people started complimenting me, “thank you” turned into “thank you, {my name}.” Over time I started to build confidence and people started liking me, constantly mentioning me when talking about kindness. This continued until year 11 (current year) when I had another boost in confidence, I started approaching people, and others approached me. Over time, people started to really like me, and I liked them back. I’ve made so many new friends now and I’ve never been at a happier point in my life. If it weren’t for the random acts of kindness I did the previous year, I would of likely still been all quiet and shy still. So my message to all of you: always go out of your way to show a bit of kindness, it can go a long way. Thank you so much for reading my entire comment! Goodbye forever, have a good one!
I think this video speaks volumes to me. Ever since I was a kid, I used to be that quiet kid that people would often find weird. Never been good at reading social cues. Talking can be and sometimes is really painful to me, as I struggle to find topics people would like to talk about otherness stuff thay I like since I don't really like my country's trending topics and stuff(boring stuff sometimes), and even more so when you try and get to meet strangers because you'd feel like nobody would love you. Even worse, my family-usually my sis and dad- gives me hard time to express myself without correcting me or treating me like a child. I do have hobbies and hangout with my relatives, sometimes with 2 relatives from mother's side, and sometimes my older cousin. However, it gets hard waking up from sleep as you hate yourself for being alive and made the way you are. It got worse during covid as I lost someone I loved and that ruined me. I am better now, just sometimes struggling to love myself. I am different from who I was now, but a bit better. I wanna know how to love myself sometimes, but it gets more difficult every time
You have as much right to be heard as anyone else. Nobody is better than you. Stay true to you & don't change in the pursuit of people pleasing. I know it's easier said than done & we have to conform to social conventions to a degree but it's so liberating to be authentic. Act & speak from your heart. Hang in there friend & stay weird! 💜
@@hannahmitchell87 Thnx. I hope you can be happy too. The past few years have been great since I started challenging myself, even if i don't do so well.
@@necromasker666 That's awesome! Good for you! 🥰
@@hannahmitchell87 You have my sub
@@necromasker666 i'm really impacted by what you're sharing and i'm sending you warm energy. It might bring some relief to acknowledge that your future self will almost certainly look back at this version of you with deep love, respect and appreciation. this might just be something you have to go through for a while before getting there. some people struggle for a long time to find their people, but you are right on track by being in touch with yourself and seeking out answers. these things can take a long time to figure out, but you'll be glad you put in that time.
As a person who rarely speaks in public and social situations, I only became this way because of my childhood. Not all of my quietness is because of that fully, too. But, I only had a friend. One friend at the time. We spoke as we waited for the school bus to arrive. We spoke on the way to school. At school, at recess, and just a lot in general. Though, we slowly drifted apart. I started to separate from the crowd at recess and talk with other people. I walked around and curiously looked at bugs. I helped worms out of puddles. I only had 3 other friends, yet rarely spoke to them. One moved away, the second one stopped talking to me, then the third was because I had to go into the next school in the district. I had to go to the friend bench to play with other kids. I did talk to others sometimes, and as I said, that was rarely ever.
And then the second reason is because I was confused how to start a conversation. Even listening to others doesn’t really help. I just never knew how to, really. I also slowly got anxiety to talk to others. Slowly, I just became an outcast.
I, now, have no friends, and social anxiety. I just grew to not be very social anymore. All I do now is listen to others’ conversations. I do have enjoyment talking to others, still! I just get super scared due to thinking I will be judged. I eventually will try to talk more again. Well, if I ever do “try”. I may not ever. Anxiety sucks, man. Anyway, I don’t know how to end this. Also another random story I remember. So one day, waiting for the school bus, I was standing by a tree. I glanced over, not really noticing what was next to me at first. Looking again, I saw a squirrel staring at me. It was, at least, a foot away from me. It was just facing face first, staring at me. It didn’t move barely. I said “hi” to it and watched it. Didn’t even move an inch! I just thought that was kinda interesting.
Have a good day/night!
having social anxiety is the worst thing ever.
we need to be friends
Hi, thank you for your comment. We want to ask, for you personally, what is it like having social anxiety? If you don't mind us asking, how does social anxiety affect your day to day life?
@@Psych2go its horrible. everytime i go out into a public place i feel like everyone is judging me even though they arent. i never want to pay for something when shopping just in case my card gets declined or i embarrass myself infront of a cashier. being at school was hell, i was in a group of three and i was the one who got left out. the whole three years i went there i just felt like i was following my other two " friends " around so now im in a online school. i want to make friends i want friends but at the same time i dont. i dont have the energy, motivation and my social skills are basically non existent. i feel like everything i do and say is embarrassing and i just have a really boring personality anyway so no one will ever truly want to be friends with me. i cant even go to a park with my parents, i cant even go shopping with them or go on a walk im just too scared. people my age are making so many memories with their friends and im just in my room basically everyday for 4 years. i only have 3 friends and im aware that they have other friends but it just makes me so sad knowing im not as important to them as they are to me.
Wow, thank you for sharing such a detailed response. Your situation sounds extremely tough. It feels very debilitating and limiting. Have you sought any professional counseling to help with your situation?
@@nelly2837 wow, I relate so much to this. I'm also in an online school and while it has its perks, it has its downfalls, like being lonely and isolated a lot. I have few friends, and like you said, they are important to me whilst I'm not as important to them
I used to be silent and isolated half of my life. But I realised that being silent made me comfortable as I keep everything to myself no one ever has any argument or conflict with me. that seems nice but I realised being like this all the time, I was getting depressed and hurt by people around me. So I would say don't be silent, "where you have to speak up for yourself" and others. also it's good to be silent at times.❤
I've been put as the quiet one in the high school. Even my teacher asks the whole class to be silent and let me speak.
It was the most humiliating & anxious time I've ever been, and I never forget about it. I want to but I kept remembering that moment.
To this day, I still can't continue conversations between my colleagues and families. I need the other to start speaking first before I can even start.
i prefer to stay silent as i feel as though people don’t listen to me fully. not only that, I speak softly and with a lisp so people can't understand me to begin with. I think that it's beneficial for others to not have to stress over what I'm saying all of the time, having to ask me to speak up, and having to repeat what i just said 5 times over to then give up cause they still can't understand me and now i'm frustrated at myself and at them
… it’s too quiet…
sounds like a dark quote from a scary game
…And cold.
“That’s because we’re in space, Einstein!”
...
😂
I related to the second point a lot. I can still dimly recall the point where I started to feel bad about talking about the things I liked. My best friend had been taken out of school to be homeschooled instead. I was kind of adrift and no one else I tried talking to shared my nerdy interests. I remember forming the thought that would start a long, miserable pattern of self-destruction. "No one likes the stupid things you like. Shut up and stop making a fool of yourself."
I gave up on trying to make friends, assumed I was unlikable and just accepted loneliness as my new default. I still wound up with a few scattered friendships here and there, but there was always a part of me that couldn't understand what they saw in me. That's something I still struggle with as an adult so many years later.
The cherry on top though? The last little parting shot of my terrible highschool years? I learned, in my senior year, that my peers all assumed I was The Quiet Kid Who's Going to Snap and Shoot Up the Place. In my depressed silence, everyone filled in the blanks with something they were afraid of and avoided me. In my clueless isolation it just seemed to me like my conclusion that I was unlikable was accurate. When I learned what most people thought of me, I broke down and cried. I've never been a violent person and that huge misunderstanding caused me so much pain.
Huh, guess I've got no problem spilling my guts to random strangers on the internet though...
Very sad, and a sign of the times. It's not your fault, though, and you're out of that school. Yay!
@@karenbartlett1307 I was surprised to see someone took the time to read and reply to all that. I am in a much better place, mentally these days. Thank you for your kind comment.
@@mumboexeyeye4240 You're welcome! I didn't have much fun in high school, either, but I can tell you that life changes and things usually get better. 🙂
It's messed up that people will run with the thought of us quiet people shooting places, I never understood it. Sorry to hear they treated you so terrible I'm glad your out of there.
I was almost always the quiet one, and I still am unless I’m with my parents or family, than I can talk with them. When it comes to other people, I’m silent because I think I’m just shy when it comes to meeting people. Plus, I don’t think I’d be able to hold a conversation, unless it’s a topic I really like. So yeah, that’s kinda my 2 cents on my view on being silent. Also, I’ve watched your videos before, just haven’t gotten around to watching them again. I’m glad this video was in my recommended today, definitely needed it
I use to be so silent bc I always get bullied or get hurt but after being silent for a long time I was about to commit suicide before I think about being happy and being healthy but I started watching your vids and they helped me sm.
A few other things that could cause it is experiencing moments In your life that felt embarrassing at the moment then you regret later that you over thought it, panicked and took the experience negatively instead of actually stopping to realize it wasn't the case.
Or
Having some hyper active disorder like adhd, that causes you to get over excited and absently turn into a "motor mouth" and talk way longer about a subject than you should of.
Or lastly, having a traumatic experience where no matter what you did to try to speak your thoughts you would get verbally bullied to go silent and stay silent.
I find myself speaking less and less. And yes it’s become more and more difficult to open up. But thank you for videos like these. It’s not like I’m going to word vomit tomorrow all of a sudden but yeah. Too true, the embarrassing moments, the failures, the traumas. It’s a little too much and I’ve gotten used to going days without even speaking.
i wish we were less dependent on other people but it´s our nature. maybe not everyone feels that way but there will always be people who make us feel better or worse. i´m just really glad i have that one friend now that always supports and understands me. i´m starting to get my old self back. she is very sociable which makes me a bit more social as well.
i sincerely hope that you all find a way to cope with it and mostly meet people who make you feel better. generally, there is nothing wrong with you but with society and its people. it´s not always bad to be alone but I´m sure there are people that enjoy your presence. as a quiet person, i´m kinda glad i´m not the only one but i know it´s extremly difficult sometimes. this is your community, you are not alone. there are people who undertand you and won´t judge you. i´m glad you all are here.
I remember being quite talkative when I was younger, but now it's like all of that energy has left and ever since then, I became more silent over time. To this day, I still value my silence as an introvert 😌.
I hate that people will define you as quiet but never try to actually get to know you. When they do try(not all) they will only ask why are you so quiet?
Reaching the point of only speaking when necessary. Other than that, can be extremely silent to the point of not making a sound when walking. Gotten hurt way too many times to prefer any form of isolation that allows avoiding people. Sometimes I'm a bit too isolated though.
I can relate. But as long as you’re not hurting yourself though, it isn’t a bad thing.
For me, I find that being quiet is related to my neurodivergence, more than just being an introvert. In some situations it's gotten so bad to the point of selective mutism, and now I've got a lot of social anxiety as well. Part of the problem is having a different communication style, for example info-dumping and not liking small talk, so that joining a conversation with neurotypicals can be difficult, and often just plain boring, because I'm not interested in more mainstream conversational topics. I've realized I much prefer conversing over an activity, for example board games, where the communication rules are clearer. Feeling rejected from past experiences where I said the wrong thing, missed a social cue, talked too long about something people didn't care about, has made me feel unwanted, and thus less likely to talk again in the future... Sometimes, I have a lot to say, but I just can't bring myself to say it, out of a fear of being misunderstood. Also part of my neurodivergence is having audio processing issues, so in a large group of people at a crowded place, it's hard to even physically *hear* the conversations around me, let alone join them. Being able to communicate one-on-one with a close friend, is miles easier than with a group of strangers. (If any of this sounds relatable to you, I recommend looking into neurodivergence, namely ADHD, autism, sensory processing issues, speech disorders, as well as social anxiety, if you want to understand your struggles more.)
I can relate to being neurodivergent with ADHD I ended masking myself for the same reasons you've experienced it's was like I couldn't have any personality or express myself so I got used to not saying anything.
yr7 and 8 were great years, i had a fun friend group and we’d socialise. In yr 9 i got depression, friends in the group had beef so we all split, i got depression soon after, i had been bullied and about anything and everything since yr4. Usually about my lack of knowledge of the outside world or being too innocent to understand things. So i was back to being picked on. Sadly there is no happy ending and im in yr 12 going through every day of school with a straight face, a lack of recognition, high state of depression and suic thoughts.
but its a lesson for everyone that its better for you to reach out and find new friends or a reach out to another person becuase no matter how far you fall, one action can put you back up
I always been quiet since childhood. I remember my Dad always coming in my room asking if I was okay. Some people are just chill and those people are my tribe. 🤗I love quiet laid back people. They are jems❤
I’ve found the silent ones are by far the most interesting. Really quiet guy in my class during my college freshman year didn’t really stand out, but once we talked, his mind was jam packed full of knowledge, creativity, passion, etc. With the more outgoing types, it’s just the same old drama related shit or event oriented things.
I've always been silent and in a family where shouting over one another to be heard was the norm that really made me stand out in an unpopular way. I prefer to observe, take in details, memorise the space I'm in rather than idle chit chat. I can speak to others if necessary but I'm just as comfortable staying quiet if nothing of note is being said.
And that's probably why I like writing, it's a way to express myself without relying on speaking to do so.
Thank you for talking about this.
It's really comforting having someone talk and understand this.
Awww, thank you so much for sharing Psych2Go! 🥺 Exactly what I needed nowadays. And to all who commented, I feel relief that I'm not the only one experiencing this being silent for reasons. I can relate to it and I want to socialize with my classmates and be friends with them. I want to share this to you guys, that I was embarrass last sem because I made a mistake and disappointed my groupmates, and that made me shy away from my classmates when I shouldn't be anymore. But I hope that they forgave me already and it taught me a lesson to always be open and to be a better version now. 😌
I used to be talkative person but nowadays I became too quiet. sometimes it gets worst. I have to force myself to say a word 😴
🥺🥺
Some people deny so much just to have their mindset the foremost.
There is also with social anxiety or can't speak up for themselves or would rather not share their opinions at the fear of being judged.
Through these videos I've learned to acknowledge the fact that im VERY emotionally unstable, I needed help. I appreciate these videos as I could feel that you are speaking to me, addressing my mental state that I've grown to ignore. The fact that my own silence is killing me day by day is agonizing. But I've been faced with the reality that I need to act nevertheless because if I don't I won't be able to live the life that I want. And with that I yearn to see the day that all of my anxiety, stress, and suffering alone will one day be gone.
I'm an introvert so, I don't usually start conversation by myself, but now I am so used to be ignored that, most of the time, I don't even try to speak and I just listen to what the people around me are saying.
I've experienced three of these first I was an observer. I broke out of that during middle school and became more social, but in my last year of middle school I got yelled at by some girl who in the previous year came to me and my friend saying no one liked her. I didn't understand why no one liked her at first because she seemed a nice girl, later on though I would understand. She yelled that I wasn't part of my friend group and other mean things. I got ready to defend myself and I felt confident because I had my friends to back me up or at least I thought I did. Instead of defending me, who is timid and cautious of others, they silenced me. They told me not to mess with that girl she causes problems. I felt so betrayed and cornered. Ever since then I feared getting close to others and stayed silent, hence in my freshman year of high school I isolated myself (during quarantine times) I skipped school on the in-person days and locked myself in my room. My family didn't know what was wrong, my mother was upset cause my school dropped me. I fell into a depression and only got out of it after my mother passed away by the end of my freshman year. My life completely flipped I had a choice to make dropout of school take the GED or continue going normally. I chose to go back and makeup the credits I didn't make my freshman year because my mom wanted me to graduate from high school so my mother's death became my motivation to get better. So I did, although in the process I got kicked out from my cousin's house, moved in with my aunt, who frequently threatens to kick me out. Whenever my aunt says something upsetting, I stay silent to keep my peace of mind and not say anything rude. I am not one to let people walk all over me so this is hard, but I did it.
I am pretty quiet and for years I didn't speak like ever because I was really shy, but when I found the people that make me happy I am so talkative and I love to speak infront of them because I have some stuff I wanted to say but couldn't and now I think I'm selfish and so I hate it now...
I used to talk all the time. I used to be so excited to talk to people and make new friends.
I think once I realized that others thought i was annoying I just stopped. I even have a hard time granting myself full permission to talk with friends. I still talk with them but not like I used to be able to. I can no longer think of fun topics to talk about at the top of my head. I can’t let myself talk for too long or get too excited because I’m annoying
It' probably only if you talk excessively that people find you annoying. Most people like to talk, so remember to give them a chance to talk. Then they won't be annoyed.
I’m almost never quiet. It’s a problem, because without taking some time to process a social interaction, the rumination on other’s problems start to echo through my mind and then I can’t sleep.
You can also respond with more than just words. If you agree with someone, but have nothing to really add, nodding while making a “eureka!” face lets them continue if they haven’t finished their points. I do this because I often interrupt people mid conversation due to my impulse to not lose my latest thought. Pushing that back down, helps to get the full message, rather than being reactionary. ADHD is annoying, but knowing how to cope means I’m an asset wherever I go.
I became silent because I moved high schools quite a bit. I never kept any of the previous friends I made, so I stopped trying. If I didn’t talk, I wouldn’t make friends, so I wouldn’t get hurt again. Me being silent only hurt me more because now it’s hard me to talk at all. I’m not good with conversations now and it’s really hard to make and keep friends
The second issue relates to me the most, I find myself not daring to say things due to the reactions I got in my previous experience or interactions with others...My attempt on it usually backfires but it's understandable why people think so
I feel the same way. I’ve had times where things didn’t come out right and I got judged for it. Now that weighs on my mind almost every time I want to put in my 2 cents.
This video is so relatable! I relate to everything that's said in this video. I have autism and I prefer to be silent. I usually do not feel the need to talk or the interest in getting to know other people. It just doesn't bring me much joy. I often feel like people do not really care for what I have to say anyway. Because of my autism it is also difficult for me to understand how others connect. Talking comes so natural to other people, or at least it seems so and it's difficult for me to find a connection with someone. Other reasons for why I don't like talking are because I feel like I need to put up a rehearsal all the time and also because I fear being judged. It's hard sometimes, since I do kind of crave connections with people but at the same time I don't really want it at all.
I’m used to staying quiet because every time I speak, someone interrupts and tells a whole other story, completely blurring me out like I never spoke at all. And it has happened way to much for it to be an “accident.” The bad part is, its all my “friends” to. They make me feel like I shouldn’t have ever talked to them or talked at all. So I got used to being quite because I realized that my words don’t always matter, interrupting is rude but still, I should be listening to them more than myself. I really do love your channel and I hope that nothing goes wrong in life for you! ❤❤
Sometimes being too quiet is not good anymore. I'm a superb introvert, but cutting connections and just spending time with my own company made me realize it's really quiet and dangerous. I hate being so quiet now.
I just want to say thank you again Psych2Go! You helped me go to therapy and see that I was being extremely dismissive of my problems because I was raised that way. Turns out I have avpd, and that's why I'm such a quiet person. I've been in therapy for over eight months now and I'm doing so much better than I was last year!
What's avpd
@@Ravel_in Avoidant Personality disorder
That's wonderful to hear that our content helped you seek therapy! How has your therapist been helping you with your avpd?
@@Psych2go A whole lot of cbt and especially helping me to challenge my negative thoughts. Honestly though, we made a ton of progress through months of cbt, group therapy sessions in addition to the personal therapy sessions and a great deal of exposure therapy. It also really helped that my therapist specialized in personality disorders.
He also started me on Prozac. It wasn't doing much at first, but after getting a good dosage for me, I'm feeling great! I'm talking to my friends more and I'm nowhere near as anxious as I used to be. Honestly, the medicine seriously sped up the growing process.
Of course, there's still a lot more to do, but that's okay. I'm curious to see where things go from here considering my therapist is moving to Kansas (I live in Louisiana) in a few weeks. After this summer, I'm have a new therapist. I just hope whoever it is will be as good as the last therapist I had.
I’m just sick of my friends sometimes and even though I feel like I’m losing them I just can’t bring myself to interact. I also feel a weird sense of superiority by not speaking in some of my easier classes, because in my mind I don’t need to contribute because of my intelligence in a self-absorbed way: Doesn’t totally make sense. I’d rather observe and make the things I say count instead of saying the first thing that always comes to mind.
Wow, maybe my first friend bullying me affected me more than I thought. I just wish I could go back in time and really see why I stopped talking in school and most group social situations. Like I never would talk. If I did it was barely anything. I’m still trying to not be so quiet. It upsets me because there were things I wished I said in the past, I could’ve made friends instead of sitting there and doing nothing. I could have retaliated (with words) against people who made fun of me. I’m really going to dive into discomfort from now on. I can’t never talk at all. It’s just limiting to me. I don’t need to turn into a super sociable talks to everyone kind of person, but I need to talk at least a little bit. Show people who I am.
as someone who is quiet for me it's mainly that i was told to shut up a lot when i was younger ,but all these fit for me as well. I've been ignored by friends when i speak to the point where I don't even try anymore.
I'm starting to go more silent, but I used to be so extroverted and talking all the time it annoyed others and me to. I annoyed myself. When I was 13 I tried to be more quiet, so others wouldn't be angry at me. Now I'm 15 soon turning 16, and I'm more introverted then I have ever was. I still talk to others, but sometimes when I want to say something, I tell myself that nobody would care and be more annoyed. I still sometimes just say something and then regret it later. I think often that it would be better if I couldn't speak.
Sorry for my bad grammer, grammer is hard for me in any language I can speak and write.
Sometimes, I've been so quiet, people didn't even know I was in the same vicinity as them. I'm not the best icebreaker, but I'm getting a little better about it. And getting hurt by the people you didn't know could hurt you hits close to home (arguably the many rejections I have gotten), and it did suck, but it's not keeping me from getting what I want, though.
I am habitually silent. Not for any of the video-mentioned reasons. I have things to talk about. Problem is, people will just brush off what I'm saying. My definition of "involved in a conversation" has now become saying 2 sentences every 15 minutes. If the conversation lasts that long. My problem isn't that I choose to be silent. It's that people ignore me anyways. And when I do get a sentence in, people are quick to interject and talk about what I just said, not leaving much room for me to continue. And by the time I get to speak again, the subject has changed. So I kinda have to use concise answers to everything in a social setting. It's that or incomplete ones. And it's gotten so bad I basically forgot how to socialize. Something as simple as my parents asking "How was your day?" and I will be out of my mind trying to recall how it went. Which is hard since half the time I don't even remember what I ate for breakfast. Or if I even had breakfast. And my parents are the type that want quick answers to their questions, and never want them concise. Which is a problem, since they are part of the people that give me few chances to speak. It takes forever just to get their attention (even though one word from either of my brothers gets them immediately). It's fun being the middle child that has to meet similar expectations to what the oldest has to, while having almost no experience from being the oldest (the oldest is older, so he is almost always in charge, leaving me to not know how to when the time comes), or the benefits (oldest has more experience in the house doing stuff, so he is able to do extra since hes fast enough, and get rewarded for it) of being that old. I'm silent because I've been silenced for so long I've forgotten how to have a voice. To have a say in things. To say things. I rarely have a need to put words together, so I didn't really have much of a reason to practice socializing if being social just means watching 2 people in a group of 3 have a conversation, knowing I can't interject, no matter how much I want to.
Mostly because many conversations are trivial and boring, so I save my conversation for the interesting ones.
It doesn't have to be just one time someone makes you feel bad for speaking. A lot of neurodivergent people relate experiences where, because their communication method differs from the majority, there is trauma around social interaction, which can lead to them becoming withdrawn. However, get neurodivergent people in a room together without neurotypical people, and conversation often (but not always) flourishes. Make time, if you can, for mixing with your own neurotype, where you're far more likely to find comfort and safety, and the confidence to be yourself.
I used to be the shy kid, and eventually someone who preferred to listen to more than speaking. I like observing more too. It's interesting what you can find out and learn. Now, it doesn't mean I don't talk at all. I just prefer to talk to someine who's willing to care and listen to what I have to say. I think it's also more enjoyable to watch. It doesn't take as much energy for me and as someone who loves to write, it's a fun way to develop my characters I create.
0:22 restoration
1:22 getting close to ppl
2:10 not interested
2:59 observant
"I often regretted after I've spoken but never when I was silent"
In primary school, I remembered being quiet for almost an entire day except asking for help once, I struggled because of social anxiety
I was an only child and my parents drilled the “do not speak unless spoken to” into me every time we went out in public. I had zero social skills going into school, and college was worse since I moved away and didn’t know anyone. I went four years through college without making a single friend. I’m now 34 living in one of the most populous cities in the US, with zero friends and still have never gotten close to being in a relationship.
Speaking to people and being scared of what they think of you or they want to judge you for every little thing you do ........ How less important you become.
Really love this video feel it speaks of me alot
oh my god... this video PERFECTLY discribes me. the thing is i enjoy talking to people but it can be tiring and use a lot of my social battery so i try to stay quiet and heavily think before i speak... which has lead to me having no friends and being too scared to go up to others and make friends.
>"There are many reasons to keep quiet."
Such as having your words twisted against you, or beung censored.
Yeah. Or sometimes it’s just not worth it.
It's hard to say anything when you don't have a standing to nobody understanding you except for positivity only BS.
Damn... You actually know what the f*** you're talking about.
I agree.
I absolutely love your videos they are very helpful!
Thank you for the kind words! Did you enjoy the video? :)
I did enjoy the video and I learned a lot about myself !
“You are too quiet.”
“You never say anything.”
Yea, Because im uncomfortable, or I just feel like I do not fit in. Whatever I have to say don’t mather to you all anyways.
i haven’t made a peep for two whole school years ever since the pandemic. I had no one to talk to, no one talked to me, so i just got used to it. AND this video explains in *exact* detail of how i got so used to being quiet😭
I have gotten used to being extremely quiet in public places. It’s so bad that I can’t speak at all at school so I’ve been typing on my iPad to communicate. It’s likely that i have a rare anxiety disorder called selective mutism. I didn’t know what it was until I started to slowly develop it, it’s worth looking into if you have great difficulty speaking in certain situations but you can speak fine with certain people in certain places.
Being someone who doesn't go along with the latest trends, series, or fashions and sticking to the things I love most is the main reason I'm quiet. I'm positive I ain't the only one.
It's not on purpose, it just isn't really my taste. Sticking to what I love makes me myself even if I don't move fast along with the latest game or anime or show that's airing. It does make it hard to socialize for two reasons. One, it's hard to relate when you don't follow the trends so when one comes up, it's sudden since you're not looking for it. Two, you're afraid others won't like the things that keep you separated from the fast moving world since it's old news, reputation ruined, or something nobody is interested in. Those two reasons are heartbreaking.
Even if you're like me and aren't moving fast along with the world, remember there's groups you could search up of the topics you love. There, you can engage, be yourself, and hopefully make some friends since you have interests you like.
Trends come and go pretty fast thanks to the internet and the world continues going round but remember, you matter.
I had most of these i believe, my past experiences hindered my personality. My goals, motivation, self respect, my think skills as well as social skills were all gone. Even still to this day, I struggle with English, and that's all I know how to speak, I feel like I need therapy, but I'm in the military and their specialists I don't think I can get anything out of it, I feel like I need to count on yall to help me understand why im broken
I used to talk all the time. Then people started saying I was stupid and didn't know what I was talking about. Made me think a little as to whom really didn't know. Me or them. I accepted it was me and just stopped talking. I listened but eventually came to not really caring anymore what they said. I know they say women speak more per day, I might speak 100 words a day and only if spoken to first. It's my quiet place and I like it. I get to form my own opinions and thoughts without them being tainted by others. I really don't miss trying to converse with others on a social level. Real life friends stab you in the back and one can only have that so many times, just like trying to find a boyfriend. Being quiet lets me form my thoughts and ideas into something I could connect with others with, only if I want to.
I might be used to being so silent because of being ignored a lot when I try to talk.. I mean not a lot but I guess most of the time.. Which makes me even less enthusiastic to talk to people now, and even when I try, I'd just seem abnormal when I talk, idk I just get the feeling of being out of place too I guess. I have this weird habit of second-guessing/being embarrassed when I speak too.. Maybe it's my own delusion, maybe it's not. 🤷♀️
I'm still trynna figure things out and be more comfortable with my quietness. And I'll even try to be more confident when I speak. I guess I'm always used to being right (not to sound cocky) that I'm afraid I'll misspeak something. But to everyone who's also trying to figure things out, I'm glad we're all in this together and I hope we can all be with peace with ourselves being quiet and not feeling bad/embarrassed about it too :)
Gosh, the getting close to people one hit pretty hard. I mostly stay home because my parents need to stay home for work, and I don’t go to school. So I guess I’m just out of practice with being social. When I’m in a group of multiple people I don’t have much to say because usually nobody’s gonna ask me anything unless I speak up. When I do have something to say, it takes me so long to say it that the moment has already passed and the topic has shifted. This happened so many times that I’m more content with just listening.
I used to share my ideas without any hesitation and sometimes I become rude or end up hurting someone else. So just to stop myself from hurting someone I started to keep myself silent. I slowly became really quiet. I have so many thoughts in my mind but it's hard for me to talk about them. Even sometimes when I'm not doing anything wrong or something wrong is happening to me it is hard for me to speak up about it. But also a good thing is I became more observant than before.
Most times, what people talk about aren’t helpful or useful. There’s always talk about shallow & sometimes annoying things & gossip, I’d rather save my energy, observe and learn where necessary.
I try to speak when it’s necessary, otherwise, I just observe.
I think growing up struggling with ADHD it caused me to ended up masking myself as I got older and I got used to being quiet, it's my normal. Whenever I was my hyper, silly, happy self everyone was wondering if I took my medicine it was like I couldn't have a personality growing up. Now, I always get asked why I don't talk or even that I don't like too but really I talk when I have questions and answers or when someone's talking to me. I don't blurt out things because I don't think people care about it.
OMG. Revelation. Release. Acknowledgment.
Thank You very much for such a detailed account from a dr perspective of how the lack of balance in self-isolation can yield negative results.
The animation is spot on. OMG
Yes thank you very much I can identify! Growing up in an environment which placed a high value on obedience and every answer was incorrect, even agreeing was manipulated into being weak! Being silent can result from survival!
I found that being silent is better. I have a son with Asperger a form of autism. But, my best friend tells he is outgoing around her. She forgets that he is only around her once or twice a year. Also, he is on an anti-anxiety drug. As well as he has known her and her family all his life. That is why he acts differently around her than strangers whom he will not look at or will walk away from when someone is talking to him.
Personally its quite the opposite for me. When I start talking, everyone tells me to shut up because Im "wrecking their head" and they're "getting sick of your voice" or "you're giving me a headache". I just can't help myself but I am trying to give other people a chance to talk. Even though I'm trying to change this about myself I'm still being giving out to for things I've done in the past and then I point out that they're talking about what I did a month ago and that I don't do that as often anymore but they insist that I'm proving them right by talking back to them, there is no end to this cycle. What's worse is that this is my family we're talking about so I can't just cut ties to them altogether and I love them too much to do that. I don't know what to do about it anymore, I guess I'll keep trying to improve and hope they stop.
As Always,
Have a great day!
I’ve been silent throughout most of my life. It’s because I don’t know what to say or how to. I use most of my free time to myself. I listen more than I speak. It’s hard to be engaged in anything or with anyone. Overall, I’m a shy person. I just want to be more than that.
Your video triggered a memory I had forgotten about. Something that was never addressed, thank you.
Definitely from saying the wrong things in class/around friends, starting to pivot it into active lisyening but still able to open up when feeling comfortable/safe
This title hits home already, my goodness. 💀
What do you think about the video?
@@Psych2go it's wonderful, really gave a good bit of insight. :3
I have always been a quiet person. I enjoy the company of my lady-friend and she has commented that I am sometimes to quiet... [not sure whether this is a good or bad thing in a friendship/relationship]. I also find it difficult to start a conversation and/or get flustered when addressing groups.
I enjoy my solitary hobbies: amateur astronomy 🔭 and short-wave radio listening 📻
I’m tired of being silent, I wanna connect with people and form relationships but my mind does everything it can to hold me back. I don’t want people to think of me as boring or disinterested in conversation but I literally can’t form a single sentence in response to whatever they say to me most of the time, same for when I want to start a conversation because I can’t think of a way to start talking. I’m unable to think of things to say I’m actually losing my mind.
I don’t usually comment on videos, but this one hits a little too close to home. I’ve always been a silent person in social situations, even as far back as I could remember. It was always easier to listen or someone then to actually speak. I was always “too quiet” to most people but no one really ever tried to have a meaningful conversation with me either. Silence is just kinda my way of communicating, kinda like how a rabbit communicates though body language.
Saying nothing sometimes says the most. The best way to put it.
Sometimes, silence can be louder than words!
No one ever listens when i talk. Especially when we’re in a group. But when I’m at home I’m super loud even if I’m alone.
Side note: these little guys make me think of the watermelon Stevens from Steven Universe. ❤
It's better to be quiet than explaining yourself,our subjective expereince based on our perspective and cannot be same for all.
Sometimes it's better to be quiet knowing no one can understand you.
Silence is peaceful, words are root cause of all misunderstanding.
Honestly, there's times I...just don't like talking. I stumble over my words a lot, forget words. I think its an ADHD thing since it got better once I got medicated, but its still there and still intensely frustrating. When I was a kid, it felt like I could go days before talking. Before smiling, too, but also talking. I'm a lot better now than I was back then, but I still have a hard time, occasionally. Unless I have a script in front of me; or at least an outline, lol.
It’s reason that i don’t even want to talk about something.
Thank you for the video.
Amanda's voice is so soothing, i feel calmer just listening
There are many reasons why I stay quiet.
The biggest reason is because talking too much has gotten me into trouble many times, whether it be because I talked when I wasn't allowed to, or because I said something embarrassing that made me look bad in front of people.
Another reason is because people will just talk over me. It's a horrible feeling when I try to say something and then everyone else acts like I don't exist.
The last reason is because I was never very good at talking to people to begin with. There have been cases where I've annoyed people and even creeped them out because my words didn't come out the way I intended. Tripping over my words in a casual conversation absolutely sucks.
Staying quiet allows me to avoid all those things. Some people think I'm weird for not being much of a talker, but I like to think it makes me more of an interesting character.
As someone that is used to be silent I... well, now I don't really feel to talk, not even in text version, but it's a really good video. Really relatable. Keep it going.
I have been told by a lot of people, mostly family and teachers that im the most quiet person they've probably met, and honestly, thats kinda truth. but, i dont like being silent all the time i like to talk about my interests to other people a lot but, i dont have anyone to talk to, and when i do, it feels like they dont listen, it feels like im being judged all the time. everytime i talk to someone i am afraid of what they think of me, of my voice, of my intentions, body language, everything, this makes me very anxious to talking to real people, even friends. this is getting worse with time and im afraid that i might not get the help i need because i am afraid of talking to my mom that i want terapy... it has been almost 3 months that i started hight school and i litteraly haven't intected with anyone on my own, i just want to socialise but i can't.