Why you will struggle to live in Germany (I wish I knew this before)

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 61

  • @Alyonah
    @Alyonah  Місяць тому

    7:46 How can I get ungermanized? 😖

    • @outplayed54
      @outplayed54 Місяць тому +1

      I'm from Romania. been living for 10 years in Germany. Germans are exotic, weird, some of them nice and friendly. And yes, as in Ukraine, Romania is also lot easier than Germany. in Germany they love to overthink everything

    • @marinabeck3590
      @marinabeck3590 Місяць тому +1

      Traveling helped me to reflect on our German culture and see my German habits through other people's eyes... before that I didn't even think that I was "Germanized" hahaha Now with an American husband and having to spend more time in the US, I see it even more, how germanized I am.
      And the speed of the bureaucracy of Ukraine (the examples you mentioned: marriage, bank, etc.) is really similar to the US! That's interesting.
      ...but to answer your question, how to get ungermanized, 1st step is to be conscious about it. Your video here helps with that and there are also so many other content creators who make videos about comparisons in cultures where they compare Germany to the US for example.
      My best friends here, who are also German; we call each other whenever we feel like talking, and if the person who is getting called is free at that moment, then we'll have a chat, but if not, no worries, next time :) With some other friends, I have to make a phone date, and that's also fine 😄

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      @outplayed54 ,hehe, yeah, I do notice the overthinking a lot at work 😅🤓

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +1

      @marinabeck3590 , this is so interesting 🙂 I wonder if you will start overtaking some of the American ways of doing things after living there for a long time. I notice that I am Germanized when I go back to Ukraine-there are things there that don’t work for me anymore xD. But I guess it can also be reversed if I live in Ukraine again. It’s great that you manage to keep a balance and have friends who can jump on a call spontaneously. I need to start doing it again as well

    • @amjadshukkoor
      @amjadshukkoor Місяць тому +1

      I am still not germanized fortunately and I can be pretty spontaneous still. Its probably because I live in Darmstadt which is a student city with so many internationals

  • @rouceau
    @rouceau Місяць тому +4

    The thing is, that for us it's unpolite to be "fake", which is actually the more natural way, isn't it? As a German living in an Hispanic country, it took me years to figure that I have to be kind of fake nice all the time just to be accepted in the culture :D

  • @karla5395
    @karla5395 Місяць тому +1

    I moved to Munich recently and I think here "excellence" is highly valued. It is costing me a bit to adapt to this new work-culture because everything is extremely planed, I come from working with American companies where you try things very quickly, you fail quickly and you adapt quickly, and once you nail it then you build excellence over time. I actually valued both paces, it just freaks me out sometimes as I feel I am not delivering value because I am spending too much time planning. When it comes to be germanised, I totally agree, I now plan everything in advanced even the weekends. I have always been a planner, but not to this extend, I also feel I attempt to do things right from the get-go rather than iterating, specially because I feel I need to be very competent and clear-minded at my job.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      I am also based in Munich and one of the things that surprised me is the amount of meetings we have at work. We schedule a meeting just to discuss that we need to schedule another meeting sometimes and it felt bad for me because ,as you said, I didn't fele like I am delivering value..so I agree and feel you 🌻

  • @dunjak111
    @dunjak111 Місяць тому +3

    There is a german saying in regards to bureaucracy: "The mills grind slowly but thoroughly". However, I think, many people appreciate the reliability.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      Absolutely, especially once you face a system that is not so reliable, you start to appreciate it even more.

  • @sandracarli1110
    @sandracarli1110 Місяць тому +3

    As a teacher, I must say that people are extremeley sensitive. It is not easy to correct them. Some leave the course and do not come back anymore. So I often choose the indirect correction way.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      This is a very interesting perspective, thank you for bringing it up! And yes, I agree, many people are quite sensitive, even when it's constructive criticism. It’s a very subtle line between helping someone improve and ensuring they don’t feel discouraged. Due to my background, I’m just less used to this approach, I guess.

  • @Never_again_against_anyone
    @Never_again_against_anyone Місяць тому +1

    As a German myself, let me tell you it is not wrong what she is describing in the video. I am a rather introverted person and just finishing a "duales Studium" (study program with practice terms with an employer). The whole point is the way theory and practice should fuse. Well, stress levels are high, there is potential for improvement for that reciprocal enrichment and one of the reasons is that too many people from whom one should learn do not have their act together communication-wise; even when you tell them to be direct, they will give you too little feedback too late to really learn from it and still think they are not causing problems. (And yes, some are just behaving like that, because they are lazy, but others seem just not self reflected enough for teaching on the job.).

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      I had the same during my internship. Even if I asked proactively, I didn't really get direct feedback

  • @michaelottoguitar
    @michaelottoguitar Місяць тому +2

    Well, it is hard to make real friendships pretty much everywhere in the world not only in Germany. Also depends on your job and where in Germany you are located.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +1

      You’re right, somehow I felt that Germany is even harder in that regard compared to other countries I’ve lived in (Estonia, the USA, Ukraine). But it might be just me 😅😁. A big factor is that when I lived in those countries, I was a student, and I think the university environment is generally much easier for meeting new people. Geographically and job-wise, I’m in a good position here (Munich).

  • @Isolanporzellator
    @Isolanporzellator Місяць тому +2

    As a German I opened my last bank account in 30 minutes, mostly depends on which bank you're using I guess (There are different methods of identity and address verification and some take longer, especially those that go by mail).

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      This is good to know! Could you tell me what bank it was?

    • @Isolanporzellator
      @Isolanporzellator Місяць тому

      @@Alyonah C24. It's a free online bank with a pretty solid app. Haven't had any issues with it thus far, so I can recommend it if you don't need the in-person support at local branches that traditional banks provide.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      Oh I see, thanks! I also have an online bank but it"s not the first time that I hear good reviews about C24 so it might be better

  • @kristinbrowne8756
    @kristinbrowne8756 Місяць тому +5

    I moved from Switzerland (which is just a richer version of Germany) to the US. AND YES!
    OMG.... so annoying.
    Americans are not as well organized. BUT they are WAY more flexible as a result.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +1

      Yes! I feel like Americans are a bit more reasonable with their bureaucracy, although I don’t have much experience living in the USA. At the same time, I often hear that the lack of regulations can be problematic there. For example, many toxic food ingredients banned in the European Union are still allowed in the States. I’m not sure how bad it really is, maybe it’s more of a social media trend now.

  • @Why-D
    @Why-D Місяць тому +1

    Testemonials have to sound "positive", that is why there is the "code".
    In a normal work environment, I clearly tell other, what I think.
    Usually Germans wait one of the shortest times on specialist doctors in among other western countries.
    Did you joined a club with like minded people?
    Often friednships start there.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      I"m afraid to find out how long other western countries have to wait for a doctor"s appointment then 😅😀
      Do you meant some specific kind of clubs in mind, like meet-up? I have been taking some dance classes with groups but it"s not really a club

  • @rouceau
    @rouceau Місяць тому

    Regarding the job indirectness and fakeness, that's 100% true, and the reason is simple: our individual "competence" means everything for us. So, basically being self reflected is nr1 and if you are not, then you will have to learn that by making mistakes.. kind of like that

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      So individual competence means being self-reflective and able to recognize your mistakes, otherwise you are screwed and you learn the hard way ?🤓

    • @rouceau
      @rouceau Місяць тому

      @@Alyonah by learning to be selfreflektive, if that is "the hard way", then yes. Otherwise, it would take a mother or a father in every situation. Another benefit is that you can go your own way on doing stuff

  • @Aintbegone
    @Aintbegone Місяць тому +1

    I am not sure about the loneliness, I think it is very bad everywhere. Is it really much worse in Germany than in any other country? Especially non English speaking countries? I think what would help a lot is to master the language, otherwise you will never really connect to the locals. And that would also be true in most other countries I would think, even though people do know English quite well. People will never truely connect to you, if you do not speak their language.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +1

      Thank you so much for your comment🙂 I do feel like it's a bit worse in Germany compared to the other countries where I have lived, but it might just be me 😅😬. And you are absolutely right about the language - it helps a lot. I speak it quite well already, and it has helped me feel much more confident and have a sense of belonging here, but my German is still not at a native level. I feel like I have reached a plateau in terms of German learning.

    • @Aintbegone
      @Aintbegone Місяць тому +1

      @@Alyonah Thank you for trying to learn the language. This already shows that you care and surely make things easier in the future for you. Good luck! 😊

  • @jukori
    @jukori Місяць тому +6

    Job References - it is forbidden by law to make openly negative comments about former employees in these (that's why they are so confusingly indirect)

    • @jukori
      @jukori Місяць тому

      ​@@louisweber2095 It is - § 109 GewO (so they hide their criticism in those weird nice-sounding statements)... depends on the job (some take it very seriously, some not)

    • @mariotomazzoni6523
      @mariotomazzoni6523 Місяць тому +1

      a positive job reference is usually very verbose and talks about the workers success, work ethic, ect..., like "he was always motivated, didn't hesitate to work overtime or on weekends if needed and finished his work on time and with great quality"

    • @jukori
      @jukori Місяць тому

      @@mariotomazzoni6523 I heard, 'he finished his work on time' is actually something negative since that is something expected and goes without telling

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +1

      wow, didn't know there was a law for it 🤔

    • @mariotomazzoni6523
      @mariotomazzoni6523 Місяць тому

      @@Alyonah not realy a law, more a history of court rules that's possible and that not.

  • @alirezaabdi7204
    @alirezaabdi7204 Місяць тому +2

    exactly in job market yes becarefull

  • @PiyushGutte
    @PiyushGutte Місяць тому +1

    I'm watching this from India 🇮🇳
    Should i change my mind about Germany?

    • @nyber2430
      @nyber2430 Місяць тому +1

      Yea, dont come here. Thanks.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +2

      @PiyushGutte ,the answer to this question really depends on what you thought about Germany before 😊 Every country has its good and not-so-good aspects-it all depends on your priorities and perspective. Personally, I love Germany and think it’s a great country, even though there are some aspects that don’t work for me.

    • @tomasc7958
      @tomasc7958 Місяць тому

      You would be better in Switzerland, people are way less racist than germans.

    • @db3501
      @db3501 Місяць тому

      @@nyber2430 hehe... ab in den Schredder mit dir 😄

    • @PiyushGutte
      @PiyushGutte 20 днів тому

      @@Alyonah yeah I'll think on it Thanks a lot

  • @TheAkbar23
    @TheAkbar23 Місяць тому +1

    Привіт Алёна! Де ти був в Україні?

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      Привіт, у Полтаві

  • @LogicalguyThinking
    @LogicalguyThinking Місяць тому

    The best thing to do in Germany is to leave. Germany is no place for Ambitious men.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      It is not a place for ambitious men because of high taxes or why do you think so?

    • @LogicalguyThinking
      @LogicalguyThinking Місяць тому

      @Alyonah if you earn 5000 euro ( before taxes ) in stuttgart then you have to pay 42 % income tax + 7 % church tax+ medical insurance which reduces your salary by more then 50 %
      Which is 2500 euros then you have to pay house rent 1700+ utility bills+ 49 euro DB monthly tickets Which reduces your net salary to 650 euros.
      You have to buy groceries and other miscellaneous stuff for your family Which is 300 euros therefore my net savings is less then 350 euros per month this is very very less. Please share your thoughts.

    • @LogicalguyThinking
      @LogicalguyThinking Місяць тому

      @Alyonah do you think saving of 350 euros per month is a good amount in Germany with a baby on its way? I am not even counting baby care products expenses yet. I will have to beg money from my home country if I want to extend my family. Therefore Germany is not meant for guys like me.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому

      I can absolutely relate to what you wrote. In fact, the tax-free day in Germany is around July 21, which means that everything you earn from January until late July essentially goes to taxes. It was shocking to me too when I first realized this.😓
      Of course there are benefits to the social system here, such as free education, 30 days of vacation, and up to 14 months of parental leave. These are things many countries don’t offer, but they don’t always make up for the financial strain.
      I know some people decide to leave Germany for the reasons you described. The big question is: if not Germany, then which country would be better? There are EU countries with even higher taxes-like Denmark, where the rate is around 52%. And in most countries, especially with kids, it seems both partners often need to work to sustain a household.
      The financial situation you described works well for a single person or a couple, but of course, it becomes tight with a baby on its way. I think it’s still possible to manage, but goal is to have more because we all want to have a more or less comfortable lifestyle.
      I truly hope everything works out in the best way possible for you and your family!

    • @LogicalguyThinking
      @LogicalguyThinking Місяць тому

      @@Alyonah I tried to share my calculation of how gross salary of 5 k euros is reduced to 350 savings at the end of the month. I can't plan to raise a baby with this little salary.

  • @cnn2ncc
    @cnn2ncc Місяць тому +2

    you need to get married

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +5

      Nice try, mum 😂

    • @cnn2ncc
      @cnn2ncc Місяць тому

      hahaha good one

  • @laibachshoden-wohl2048
    @laibachshoden-wohl2048 Місяць тому +3

    Die blöde Hintergrundmusik hat mir sehr geholfen, noch weniger zu verstehen.

    • @Alyonah
      @Alyonah  Місяць тому +1

      Es tut mir leid, dass dich die Hintergrundmusik gestört hat 😬 Ich experimentiere noch mit meinem Content und werde dein Feedback berücksichtigen.