Any other 2’s here raised by a Narcissist? I feel like there is a deep connection of esteem and needs never being met because we were always critiqued for our sensitivities. Thoughts?
As a 2 I dont feel like twos give to get. instead they give to build. Two dont calculate how much they get out of helping others. 2s are just (unknowning)scared when the going gets ruff they won't have people to support them. I guess you could interrupt that as multipleation. I just feel like two have a really good understanding of people need for love that they lose what they need.
my husband is a 2 and it is the case for him perhaps maybe its hard for you t receive this information. It's not always to see outside ofyourself how your actions are perceived by others but I absolutely perceive this behavior in 2's or at least I feel that often, they are expecting they are owed something in return...usually not right away but later when they are triggered it comes up
6s are actually the most helpful enneagram type, more helpful than how ennneagram literature would describe 2s. they support their support system, and it may be a person. also based on my family members, my family supportd my dad bc my dad is their support system
to the core, 2s shame is by being unpleasant and causing negative attention, which molds them to grow into being kind, helpful people to prevent that (figuring out what's wrong with them and how can they be more pleasing next time), which also turns into fearing being unhelpful and being bad it may deteriorate into several actions including manipulation, but manipulation is not to its core for sure, almost every type could be manipulative, less likely 9s, more likely 7s, 3s or 8s (by anger)
I am a 2. I am also aware of my own neediness. I still tend to give more than I get, but I do ask (truthfully) for what I need. I am also aware of my motivations for attention and esteem. I process my feelings through poetry. It is the truth that illuminates my life. I can't lie to myself in poetry. I always am thankful for every poem I get.
Very insightful, I am a 2 w1, and the more I learn about myself the more things make sense. I was just told by my sister that I need to learn what my needs are instead of others.
Same here ,I am a 2w1..have no clue what I want to choose for college...never thought about it...suddenly I have to think about it now..so I am just enrolling for whatever course I get...and my brother is very frustrated by my carelessness on my wants and needs...i feel so dumb..
@@yuiitodoro7791 Please do not call yourself 'dumb'. Your exploration of the enneagram shows how insightful you are and a willigness to explore both your growth and stress areas. You are being cautious as we 'twos' are always afraid of making mistakes. We also carry around a sense of shame and really have a difficult time with criticism. Besides, if you are just going to start college, so take the basic courses. There are so many people who decide on a major only to change numerous times. Ask to shadow people in fields that interest you. Good luch with your future Yuii. Remember you are strong. Don't put yourself last. Your brother is probably an 8. ;)
Legit as soon as he starting talking about asking what a 2 needs I started like kinda crying lol and then he said immediately “2s cry a lot”. I mean i didn’t need to be called out but I was lolll
I was getting defensive like "oh I know what I want..its.....**blink**..um..." then I started getting watery eyed and choked up because I have no clue.
This lecture truly made me feel that I am on the right path no matter how much pain I have within and how much toxic I can be for myself and others. I feel everything in my life kind of makes sense as to why it was there and I am a unique entity on my own. Yes, as a child I was good at almost everything. I always fantasized having superpowers, being connected to God and angels in one form or another. I am really into spirituality. And the only form I can truly express myself is writing. I write poetry. And even though dark and deep, I feel extremely proud of them. I found out about this only today and I am a 98% type 2 and 95% type 4. I don't know if being that high level of type 4 will help soothe my type 2 pain but I want to be better for myself than I am for others.
Wow, this is so insightful for me, a Catholic and a 2, raised by a 2, feeling called to serve in very 2 ways. I am grateful to know the pitfalls so I can work to put some stop-gaps there before they become problems, especially the gossiping, forcing help, manipulation, lacking boundaries, etc. Thank you thank you!
2 s confuse their fawn response to stress and trauma with love. Fawn response was described by Pete Walker. When healthy instincts of protest (fight response) or run from (flight response) unsafe caregiver is met with even more punishment or abandonment she/he , if naturally intuitive, will find the ways to emotionally sooth and complement her abusive caregivers. Occasionally, she/he even gets scraps of parental affection and approval. I think giving to get is overemphasized in enneagram teaching and unconscious fear of retaliation ( by punishment or abandonment) that 2s have is hardly mentioned. 2s grow by moving to healthy side of 8, reclaiming their ability to protest unfairness and protect healthy self interest without punishing other people (healthy 8, healthy fight response). 2s grow by moving to healthy side of 4, by knowing their own heart, mind, and preferences, increasing self expression and reducing crippling self censorship.
Beautiful. Your response was a concrete way out of the shame to healthy expression and need to belong and be loved - not by doing something but by just being. 🙏
I only realized my deep want of "neediness"...only after meeting soemoenes needs...by being by their side and helping them ...i always had a voice in me asking "what about me" constantly....and I took pride in me helping others and my self worth is based on how helpful and how much needs do I met...i realised all this while I was craving for someone to be there for me like i do for others and coincidentally listened to the song "atlas: two" by sleeping at last...it perfectly summed up what I am going through ....i am meeting others needs in hopes of them someday meeting mine...but I was not aware of it ...and I felt like a moron who manipulates everyone...i still do...and now I hesitate on helping others...i am suppressing that..i don't know whether it's good or bad...i am becoming more cold...i microanalyse every action I do and I try hard not to be there for someone like I always did...but I still fail..but i am not going too deep... or so i believe. .i don't know how to vocalise my needs...I don't wanna associate the word "needy" with myself ...it feels selfish knowing that others have their own needs and asking for them to meet mine too...well I don't know anymore...I hate this
HA!! You are definitely talking about the unhealthy 2! Under stress, 2’s go to the 8, that is what you are referring to when a 2 snaps, and watch out!! When at their healthiest, they become more like 4’s.
So true I'm an 8 was married to a 2 for 25 years probably be still together if we had this information and yes hundred % about look out on the bad times
This is so funny to me. I am a 2 and I hate manipulation in myself or others. Do I have to regulate my own needs vs others. Yes, but if someone manipulates me. I am out of there. I am a Christian, but I would never use the bible to argue because that felt manipulative, so...
I am a 2 who has been manipulated by a 2. I hate it so much, but I have also been told I am controlling and manipulative. Soooo... it's a humbling experience.
I was called manipulative when I was a child. It made me decide to never manipulate and to my detriment. I ran away from positive things because I might be seen as manipulative. I think part of it is we get people. That is kind of a super power to use it to build people up or tear them down.
Yeah, it does feel like a cynical reading :/ I guess there probably are 2s like this? But idk the impression i get is that the kind of person comfortable with generalizing about 2s in this tone is the same kind of person who says love is fake. Miss me with that
I am type 2 and an INFP. My Sun Venus are in conjunction in house 7 of Capricorn. Nothing matters to me except wanting love, and then my wishes for love are so high, it's crazy. My life is nonsense at this point. Hahahaba
I find that people kinda are dropping out of my life or I meet new people and they don’t want to hangout again even though it seem like a good connection. Is this because they feel like I’m wanting something from them or being manipulative? I get very upset and confused about people not connecting with me. . I felt like I did know who I was and my needs till I had a dark time in my life of my mother, sister and best friends dying three months before I married my 8 husband who I though was a narcissistic personality that I could fix of course. Because I’m a crazy 2 🤯 isolation, gas lighting and blame shifting has killed my self esteem and my looks. 😆 have never been over weight, but 75 pounds heavier and didn’t care because I never leave my condo. So confused in what steps to take to be my best version of me. Help
What Test did you do that gave you percentages? I want to know what mine are. I got 2,5, and 9 as my top 3 and they are all a valid description of my personality.. it's like a blend.
I wonder if maybe this man's mother was an unhealthy 2, as he seems to have a negative and narrow view of the reasons behind our behaviors. To be frank, this is a very poor and judgmental representation of a 2. Perhaps he doesn't know any spiritually mature, healthy 2's?
ok, i would like to state a couple of statements regarding to this video. to be quite frankly, this video came a bit harsh to me. i mean.. i literally felt like.. noooooo.. :( do i really make people feel that way? seriously? people think that i am indeed being “manipulative” because i treat them nice, and when i became a bit firm about it, people are starting to think that, “i know all of this comes with a price, you are so manipulative”. ok. wait. a. damn. minute. first thing first, on behalf of type 2 people, i would like to underline the word “manipulative”. hey, it is a strong word. and after all, when we came to people and talk a lil bit firmly, THAT’S when we tell you what we want. so my question is, does it really about type 2 being manipulative, OR you people just don’t want to lose the SERVANT for free? so you sort of twist the plot that we’ll gonna charge you in the end? yes i admit that i can be the SLAVE in every situation. regardless the age, we just grow to GIVE. but that does not mean that we do not know what we want or need. some of us know what we want. but we just feel HESITANT. we dont wanna be the BURDEN to others. and sometimes, when we have enough courage to literally ASK for what we want, IF the partner (or whomever you are talking to) IS saying some kind of sad words whatsoever, WE WOULD leave ourselves behind. is this kind of a person whom you think is being a manipulative? back again, im not saying that type 2 are angels. we are FLAWED. and EXPRESSING feelings is our hardest battle. you may have the thought like, “well, you start helping people out of nowhere and people does not actually ask for it. and now you are heartbroken because of your OWN initial action”. YES, that is damn true. BUT, if you are willing to spare a lil bit of empathy to think about it. the main reason why we can randomly help people and give them a constant care is just because we are damn scared if people are actually desperate and truly NEED some help and they’re having problems to ask somebody or as simple as dont know whom they can run to. because that shit is real. it is basically us, type 2. so heeey, dont judge the wound by how it looks. when you know how they got the wound, you can picture the pain. DAMN HELL we dont wanna be a slave of course!! i don’t see any wrong IF there is a moment of the truth, when we finally declare what we want. for the record, one of the reasons why we need a loooong time for this moment is because, we keep making excuses for someone else. when someone treats us real badly, then we would make this assumption, “oh, he is just having a bad day”. and the assumption can stay for so long, because that is just how we function. we think about someone else way more than ourselves. and hey, does it cause you any harm to at least listen to people? i mean, yes, this is a hell of complicated personality. but, have you ever thought for a second that one of the world’s famous quotes is, “Do not take everything for granted?”. on behalf of type 2, i would like to end this life-length essay. it is so nice to be able to express bunch of emotion right here because i know a lot of type 2 will see this video, and if i’m lucky, you guys get to read this. because sometimes, one of the reasons why it is so hard for us to express feelings is because we know for a fact that not so many people will understand and they will just think that we are dumb instead. OH and yea manipulative. that’s the name. right. love you people though most of you are damn selfish. dear, it does not cause any harm to you to accept the fact that people are different. some people can be really firm to get what they want. and some people are struggling to even say what they want. and the differences are limitless. this is not only for type 2, i believe some other type may have this problem too due to certain factors. well, i just wanna say, it’s okay. i understand. keep supporting each other. and being supportive isn’t as hard as you thought it would be. By being a good listener, you actually ARE being supportive. all we gotta do is just listen. disclaimer: as a 2, yes i talk much. but i dont gossip. i love talking and discussing about informative aspects that can give you knowledge and a whole new perspective, while gossiping are barely an info. luv xx (as a 2, i type LUV in a substitution of LOL, so it’s gonna be double luv, luvluv)
2 might not be your personality. Maybe go through all the other personalities. The description which annoys you the most will be your personality. I use to think I was a 1 but I didn't relate to it. Turns out I'm an 8.
I’m a 2 married to an 8. I’m still not sure if he’s just an 8 or a narcissist. Do 8’s come across as narcissistic? Then I learned about covert narcissistic and I thought well hell. Maybe I’m a narcissistic or toxic person thinking I’m a victim. Just need to learn as much as I can, because my worst fear is dying thinking I was so helpful to so many out of love, but it really was to get something in return. That’s horrible, but true about 35% of the time. Even before I learned about being a 2 I kinda knew I was doing this. Creating a codependency so I would be a lone. But I feel like I like to be alone, but I need someone in the next room for when I don’t want to be. 2’s were so f#*ked in the head.
@@thomasfields4088 interesting. I know of 1w2s for infj or 9w1s but both are female. Which advice for 1s is other 1s or 9s. So maybe your wing is a 2? Instead of dominant function?
@@thomasfields4088 also maybe learn each other's love language. Have you heard of the 5 love languages? That might help and open communication is very important
Can someone please help me figure out if I am a enneagram 2. When listening to all of the 2s core desires and fears and everything I relate a lot to the feeling of wanting to be needed and doing things and hoping in return people will appreciate or do something for me back. When it comes to that I think I am a two but I also feel like I don’t overextended myself to help people. Of course if someone ask for help I’ll do it but I feel like I am not a regally really helpful person. It might be becuase I am only in high school but idk. I also feel like I get into conflicts sometimes. I read somewhere that 2s never say no but I feel like with my family I almost always don’t want to do what they ask like empty the dishwasher or clean my room. I read a few books on all the different types and I don’t really feel like I match any of the other core desires and fears but idk. Anything would help. Also maybe I am a 2w3.
Sounds a little bit like you're describing the self preservation 2 which is the counter 2. They have the same core desires but instead of reaching out to be helpful they would rather just be liked for who they are.
I agree with Melissa, I was married to a 2 for 25 years I'm an 8 and she also resented doing things for people but showed all the other traits, I think it's because of truma in her childhood with her parents especially her mother, as I always encouraged her turn to art writing is good for you because I believe it will ground you and you'll be in touch with your emotions, I believe my ex repressed hers and it made her mentally ill, love you 2s I'm an 8
boundaries are so hard - we give too much - easily manipulated - and then we get mad ... This is very good - however I disagree w “we want something back” that’s so far from the truth - and sry but some ppl just don’t gossip- and I’m one of them
@@fightington He spent most of the video attacking the 2 and only said maybe 2 things good- that's not how youre supposed to talk about the types- youre supposed to spend time talking about the good qualities also.
he's poking fun. he consistently pokes fun, including at himself. it's the way to expose where we can grow, and how we're limited and quite an amusingly silly species in lots of ways!!!
Please look into the Ennesgram. Is this biblical? Does Jesus teach us to "know" ourselves and place people in sections of a pie? Does Jesus teach this training? When R.R. talks about other tribes and religious group that are not following the true God, does that bring you warning? I know it can feel good to "understand" different personalities but the Ennesgram seems to divide and break down what Jesus came to build...unity in Christ.
He really lost me when he started trying to tell women we are programmed by “patriarchal culture”. It’s extremely condescending when people say women’s behaviors are just a product of training and programming. We aren’t weak.. and we aren’t that easily controlled but nice try.
Hey Bethany! That’s great if you are not, however I think that many women (and men) are and it’s good to be aware for the sake of progress. I have to work on bringing to light those parts of me that have been conditioned by the patriarchy in order to release them.
Thanks for the gaslighting buddy! ‘You’re all mostly broken people. Good luck out there you manipulative, selfish suckers!’ It’s weird how in our current stare of societal evolution, type 2 are almost always damaged in their youth because of all the damaged hurtful people our system creates hurt us as kids. So when u r an open, empathic soul you are gonna get hurt toot suite. But it’s OUR fault! soooooo
Type 2s are not manipulative, you just like using and abusing them. When they ask, can you do something nice for me please, you flip out and cry manipulative. smh
Sorry, but I really feel that 2s can be very toxic even though they appear to be such victims all the time. But this is their own mentality that they project. Unhealthy 2s really do harm due to self-blindness and blaming others without recognizing their own effect. There is no self reflection if it is unhealthy and I have never met anyone more dishonest with how they view themselves.
According to you we don’t need God, we don’t need Jesus, we don’t need the Holy Spirit,All we need enneagram Right know we can start worship Enneagram ?
I’ve met mostly average and unhealthy (frightening) type 2s. On rare occasion I’ll meet a healthy 2z However, if you look at the state of consciousness, most people operate below 200. No matter what type of enneagram, we all have room to grow, to evolve, to improve. One thing that I’ve noticed hampering the progress of unhealthy 2s is the lack of growth-mindset, as they’re so focused on others and deeply enmeshed in pathological co-dependent relationships. As long as they protect these false conditional relationships, it is difficult to take ownership of one’s life , and to courageously take responsibly for their own emotional well-being, which would move them towards the more enlightened levels.
@@contemplatingchrist I tend to agree with what you say, many ppl operate on a low conscious level but like you say unhealthy 2s who don't look at themselves and have no idea about how they feel are very difficult to deal with.
This lecture truly made me feel that I am on the right path no matter how much pain I have within and how much toxic I can be for myself and others. I feel everything in my life kind of makes sense as to why it was there and I am a unique entity on my own. Yes, as a child I was good at almost everything. I always fantasized having superpowers, being connected to God and angels in one form or another. I am really into spirituality. And the only form I can truly express myself is writing. I write poetry. And even though dark and deep, I feel extremely proud of them. I found out about this only today and I am a 98% type 2 and 95% type 4. I don't know if being that high level of type 4 will help soothe my type 2 pain but I want to be better for myself than I am for others.
Love a 2 I'm an 8 lol ,the spirituality comment ant connectedness to God stood out to me check out these channels you might like, Thomas Sheridan ,he's awesome and archaix my new favorite not so spiritual but knowledge is power so therefore spiritual
I can't believe I just watch a half an hour video about someone describing my own self.
Any other 2’s here raised by a Narcissist? I feel like there is a deep connection of esteem and needs never being met because we were always critiqued for our sensitivities. Thoughts?
😫 agreed
yess
Precisely
Spirit Sis - 100%
My close relative used to shame calling me Mother Theresa...😪
Ricky: "Their giving is always associated with relating, or someone liking them"
Me: STOP READING ME.
That shook me to my core ricky, my C O R E
As a 2 I dont feel like twos give to get. instead they give to build. Two dont calculate how much they get out of helping others. 2s are just (unknowning)scared when the going gets ruff they won't have people to support them. I guess you could interrupt that as multipleation. I just feel like two have a really good understanding of people need for love that they lose what they need.
my husband is a 2 and it is the case for him perhaps maybe its hard for you t receive this information. It's not always to see outside ofyourself how your actions are perceived by others but I absolutely perceive this behavior in 2's or at least I feel that often, they are expecting they are owed something in return...usually not right away but later when they are triggered it comes up
that sounds like a 6 hmmm
6s are actually the most helpful enneagram type, more helpful than how ennneagram literature would describe 2s. they support their support system, and it may be a person.
also based on my family members, my family supportd my dad bc my dad is their support system
@@pleasemyytcommentsaredumb.8189 I agree.
hey, we are not manipulative. we just need a slice of cheesecake.
and a lot of hugs.
to the core, 2s shame is by being unpleasant and causing negative attention, which molds them to grow into being kind, helpful people to prevent that (figuring out what's wrong with them and how can they be more pleasing next time), which also turns into fearing being unhelpful and being bad
it may deteriorate into several actions including manipulation, but manipulation is not to its core for sure, almost every type could be manipulative, less likely 9s, more likely 7s, 3s or 8s (by anger)
I am a 2. I am also aware of my own neediness. I still tend to give more than I get, but I do ask (truthfully) for what I need.
I am also aware of my motivations for attention and esteem.
I process my feelings through poetry. It is the truth that illuminates my life. I can't lie to myself in poetry. I always am thankful for every poem I get.
Your comments are very helpful. Poetry could be a vital outlet for me too as we need to control us in pushing ourselves for attention and returns.
If you can express your needs, then you are well on your way to self-actualization....
Do you share your poetry anywhere online ✨️ I would love to read some
I’m a 2, yes this is me. I’m working on setting boundaries, recognizing what I need.
Good luck. 👍
good for you, i think it's really hard for a 2 to admit they are this type because pride stands in the way. have you found freedom? hugs
Very insightful, I am a 2 w1, and the more I learn about myself the more things make sense. I was just told by my sister that I need to learn what my needs are instead of others.
what a good sister
Same here ,I am a 2w1..have no clue what I want to choose for college...never thought about it...suddenly I have to think about it now..so I am just enrolling for whatever course I get...and my brother is very frustrated by my carelessness on my wants and needs...i feel so dumb..
@@yuiitodoro7791 Please do not call yourself 'dumb'. Your exploration of the enneagram shows how insightful you are and a willigness to explore both your growth and stress areas. You are being cautious as we 'twos' are always afraid of making mistakes. We also carry around a sense of shame and really have a difficult time with criticism. Besides, if you are just going to start college, so take the basic courses. There are so many people who decide on a major only to change numerous times. Ask to shadow people in fields that interest you. Good luch with your future Yuii. Remember you are strong. Don't put yourself last. Your brother is probably an 8. ;)
I feel called out in a very beautiful way
**Laughs in optimistic sarcasm**
Him saying that we feel shame in our needs made me want to cry! I’m 100% a 2
Can we DATE?
Legit as soon as he starting talking about asking what a 2 needs I started like kinda crying lol and then he said immediately “2s cry a lot”. I mean i didn’t need to be called out but I was lolll
haha awesome. the 2 in me felt like crying at that point aswell
I was getting defensive like "oh I know what I want..its.....**blink**..um..." then I started getting watery eyed and choked up because I have no clue.
This lecture truly made me feel that I am on the right path no matter how much pain I have within and how much toxic I can be for myself and others.
I feel everything in my life kind of makes sense as to why it was there and I am a unique entity on my own.
Yes, as a child I was good at almost everything. I always fantasized having superpowers, being connected to God and angels in one form or another. I am really into spirituality. And the only form I can truly express myself is writing. I write poetry. And even though dark and deep, I feel extremely proud of them.
I found out about this only today and I am a 98% type 2 and 95% type 4. I don't know if being that high level of type 4 will help soothe my type 2 pain but I want to be better for myself than I am for others.
I got 98% the 2... I don’t know how to feel but spiritually attached to this man :,)
Same. I cried the first 2 minutes of this.
I got 98% of type 2 and 95% of type 4.
Plus, I am an INFP. Neediness is just uff.
I love you 2,s lol I'm an 8 , this stuff is real my ex of 25 years is a 2 if only we had this information before I'm sure we would still be together
Wow, this is so insightful for me, a Catholic and a 2, raised by a 2, feeling called to serve in very 2 ways. I am grateful to know the pitfalls so I can work to put some stop-gaps there before they become problems, especially the gossiping, forcing help, manipulation, lacking boundaries, etc. Thank you thank you!
OMG!! You read my diary!!! 😆 Seriously, though, this is so spot on!! I am a 2 and this sounds just like me!!!
hurts like hell ahah
2 s confuse their fawn response to stress and trauma with love. Fawn response was described by Pete Walker. When healthy instincts of protest (fight response) or run from (flight response) unsafe caregiver is met with even more punishment or abandonment she/he , if naturally intuitive, will find the ways to emotionally sooth and complement her abusive caregivers. Occasionally, she/he even gets scraps of parental affection and approval.
I think giving to get is overemphasized in enneagram teaching and unconscious fear of retaliation ( by punishment or abandonment) that 2s have is hardly mentioned.
2s grow by moving to healthy side of 8, reclaiming their ability to protest unfairness and protect healthy self interest without punishing other people (healthy 8, healthy fight response).
2s grow by moving to healthy side of 4, by knowing their own heart, mind, and preferences, increasing self expression and reducing crippling self censorship.
I’m a 2. And I totally agree with you. Thx☺️🌺👍🏾
Beautiful. Your response was a concrete way out of the shame to healthy expression and need to belong and be loved - not by doing something but by just being. 🙏
I only realized my deep want of "neediness"...only after meeting soemoenes needs...by being by their side and helping them ...i always had a voice in me asking "what about me" constantly....and I took pride in me helping others and my self worth is based on how helpful and how much needs do I met...i realised all this while I was craving for someone to be there for me like i do for others and coincidentally listened to the song "atlas: two" by sleeping at last...it perfectly summed up what I am going through ....i am meeting others needs in hopes of them someday meeting mine...but I was not aware of it ...and I felt like a moron who manipulates everyone...i still do...and now I hesitate on helping others...i am suppressing that..i don't know whether it's good or bad...i am becoming more cold...i microanalyse every action I do and I try hard not to be there for someone like I always did...but I still fail..but i am not going too deep... or so i believe. .i don't know how to vocalise my needs...I don't wanna associate the word "needy" with myself ...it feels selfish knowing that others have their own needs and asking for them to meet mine too...well I don't know anymore...I hate this
HA!! You are definitely talking about the unhealthy 2! Under stress, 2’s go to the 8, that is what you are referring to when a 2 snaps, and watch out!! When at their healthiest, they become more like 4’s.
So true I'm an 8 was married to a 2 for 25 years probably be still together if we had this information and yes hundred % about look out on the bad times
I feel so called out right now
WOW. So this is why my husband and I have a large argument every 6-8 weeks LOL. (I'm type 2).
Yeah. Basically lol!! Except i don’t recognize others as feeling controlled. I’ll have to REALLY pay attention of this.
This is so funny to me. I am a 2 and I hate manipulation in myself or others. Do I have to regulate my own needs vs others. Yes, but if someone manipulates me. I am out of there. I am a Christian, but I would never use the bible to argue because that felt manipulative, so...
I am a 2 who has been manipulated by a 2. I hate it so much, but I have also been told I am controlling and manipulative. Soooo... it's a humbling experience.
I was called manipulative when I was a child. It made me decide to never manipulate and to my detriment. I ran away from positive things because I might be seen as manipulative. I think part of it is we get people. That is kind of a super power to use it to build people up or tear them down.
I think that Turkey would be a great country to represent 2. Their culture is just based on 2’s way of thinking.
Wow its interesting that you said that. Why?
I'm a 2 as well, and do not feel this is an adequate representation of 2s. "Sell their soul for a sardine," really? I don't think so.
tell us how it is? that's what's great about the narrative tradition
Yeah, it does feel like a cynical reading :/ I guess there probably are 2s like this? But idk the impression i get is that the kind of person comfortable with generalizing about 2s in this tone is the same kind of person who says love is fake. Miss me with that
I am type 2 and an INFP. My Sun Venus are in conjunction in house 7 of Capricorn. Nothing matters to me except wanting love, and then my wishes for love are so high, it's crazy.
My life is nonsense at this point. Hahahaba
Than he says 8s are harsh!!! After this Hahaha.... I get he has to tell it like it is if its going to help anyone.... Good staff
I find that people kinda are dropping out of my life or I meet new people and they don’t want to hangout again even though it seem like a good connection. Is this because they feel like I’m wanting something from them or being manipulative? I get very upset and confused about people not connecting with me. . I felt like I did know who I was and my needs till I had a dark time in my life of my mother, sister and best friends dying three months before I married my 8 husband who I though was a narcissistic personality that I could fix of course. Because I’m a crazy 2 🤯 isolation, gas lighting and blame shifting has killed my self esteem and my looks. 😆 have never been over weight, but 75 pounds heavier and didn’t care because I never leave my condo. So confused in what steps to take to be my best version of me. Help
74% a 2 and this is soooo accurate
What Test did you do that gave you percentages? I want to know what mine are. I got 2,5, and 9 as my top 3 and they are all a valid description of my personality.. it's like a blend.
Is there a site that describes ALL Enneagram types? Thank you
I wonder if maybe this man's mother was an unhealthy 2, as he seems to have a negative and narrow view of the reasons behind our behaviors. To be frank, this is a very poor and judgmental representation of a 2. Perhaps he doesn't know any spiritually mature, healthy 2's?
yeah.. his explanations was bad too imo
Damn I feel like this is my mother
lol i know it's my mother, brutal haha. and the pride part makes it so hard to get through to her that this is why she suffers
Anybody else who's a 2 have an alcoholic mother or father? I'm a guy who had an alcoholic father.
ok, i would like to state a couple of statements regarding to this video.
to be quite frankly, this video came a bit harsh to me. i mean.. i literally felt like.. noooooo.. :( do i really make people feel that way? seriously? people think that i am indeed being “manipulative” because i treat them nice, and when i became a bit firm about it, people are starting to think that, “i know all of this comes with a price, you are so manipulative”.
ok.
wait.
a.
damn.
minute.
first thing first, on behalf of type 2 people, i would like to underline the word “manipulative”. hey, it is a strong word. and after all, when we came to people and talk a lil bit firmly, THAT’S when we tell you what we want.
so my question is, does it really about type 2 being manipulative, OR you people just don’t want to lose the SERVANT for free? so you sort of twist the plot that we’ll gonna charge you in the end?
yes i admit that i can be the SLAVE in every situation. regardless the age, we just grow to GIVE. but that does not mean that we do not know what we want or need. some of us know what we want. but we just feel HESITANT. we dont wanna be the BURDEN to others.
and sometimes, when we have enough courage to literally ASK for what we want, IF the partner (or whomever you are talking to) IS saying some kind of sad words whatsoever, WE WOULD leave ourselves behind.
is this kind of a person whom you think is being a manipulative?
back again, im not saying that type 2 are angels. we are FLAWED. and EXPRESSING feelings is our hardest battle. you may have the thought like, “well, you start helping people out of nowhere and people does not actually ask for it. and now you are heartbroken because of your OWN initial action”.
YES, that is damn true.
BUT, if you are willing to spare a lil bit of empathy to think about it. the main reason why we can randomly help people and give them a constant care is just because we are damn scared if people are actually desperate and truly NEED some help and they’re having problems to ask somebody or as simple as dont know whom they can run to. because that shit is real. it is basically us, type 2. so heeey, dont judge the wound by how it looks. when you know how they got the wound, you can picture the pain. DAMN HELL we dont wanna be a slave of course!!
i don’t see any wrong IF there is a moment of the truth, when we finally declare what we want. for the record, one of the reasons why we need a loooong time for this moment is because, we keep making excuses for someone else. when someone treats us real badly, then we would make this assumption, “oh, he is just having a bad day”. and the assumption can stay for so long, because that is just how we function. we think about someone else way more than ourselves.
and hey, does it cause you any harm to at least listen to people? i mean, yes, this is a hell of complicated personality. but, have you ever thought for a second that one of the world’s famous quotes is, “Do not take everything for granted?”.
on behalf of type 2, i would like to end this life-length essay. it is so nice to be able to express bunch of emotion right here because i know a lot of type 2 will see this video, and if i’m lucky, you guys get to read this. because sometimes, one of the reasons why it is so hard for us to express feelings is because we know for a fact that not so many people will understand and they will just think that we are dumb instead. OH and yea manipulative. that’s the name. right. love you people though most of you are damn selfish.
dear, it does not cause any harm to you to accept the fact that people are different. some people can be really firm to get what they want. and some people are struggling to even say what they want. and the differences are limitless. this is not only for type 2, i believe some other type may have this problem too due to certain factors.
well, i just wanna say, it’s okay. i understand. keep supporting each other. and being supportive isn’t as hard as you thought it would be. By being a good listener, you actually ARE being supportive. all we gotta do is just listen.
disclaimer: as a 2, yes i talk much. but i dont gossip. i love talking and discussing about informative aspects that can give you knowledge and a whole new perspective, while gossiping are barely an info.
luv xx
(as a 2, i type LUV in a substitution of LOL, so it’s gonna be double luv, luvluv)
Wike Widyastuti thank you, I can relate as a 4.
I feel like maybe this man's mother was an unhealthy 2. He has a pretty poor perspective of the reasons behind our behaviors.
Love you 2s I'm an 8 this stuff is true
I don't do any of this. I'm a type2w3. Unless I'm integrating to a healthy 4
2 might not be your personality. Maybe go through all the other personalities. The description which annoys you the most will be your personality. I use to think I was a 1 but I didn't relate to it. Turns out I'm an 8.
Ooh i'm a 2w3 as well!
As an 8 I love 2's.
I’m a 2 married to an 8. I’m still not sure if he’s just an 8 or a narcissist. Do 8’s come across as narcissistic? Then I learned about covert narcissistic and I thought well hell. Maybe I’m a narcissistic or toxic person thinking I’m a victim. Just need to learn as much as I can, because my worst fear is dying thinking I was so helpful to so many out of love, but it really was to get something in return. That’s horrible, but true about 35% of the time. Even before I learned about being a 2 I kinda knew I was doing this. Creating a codependency so I would be a lone. But I feel like I like to be alone, but I need someone in the next room for when I don’t want to be. 2’s were so f#*ked in the head.
@@thomasfields4088 what's your mbti? That might help
@@dandee6604 INFJ
@@thomasfields4088 interesting. I know of 1w2s for infj or 9w1s but both are female. Which advice for 1s is other 1s or 9s. So maybe your wing is a 2? Instead of dominant function?
@@thomasfields4088 also maybe learn each other's love language. Have you heard of the 5 love languages? That might help and open communication is very important
Can someone please help me figure out if I am a enneagram 2. When listening to all of the 2s core desires and fears and everything I relate a lot to the feeling of wanting to be needed and doing things and hoping in return people will appreciate or do something for me back. When it comes to that I think I am a two but I also feel like I don’t overextended myself to help people. Of course if someone ask for help I’ll do it but I feel like I am not a regally really helpful person. It might be becuase I am only in high school but idk. I also feel like I get into conflicts sometimes. I read somewhere that 2s never say no but I feel like with my family I almost always don’t want to do what they ask like empty the dishwasher or clean my room. I read a few books on all the different types and I don’t really feel like I match any of the other core desires and fears but idk. Anything would help. Also maybe I am a 2w3.
Sounds a little bit like you're describing the self preservation 2 which is the counter 2. They have the same core desires but instead of reaching out to be helpful they would rather just be liked for who they are.
I agree with Melissa, I was married to a 2 for 25 years I'm an 8 and she also resented doing things for people but showed all the other traits, I think it's because of truma in her childhood with her parents especially her mother, as I always encouraged her turn to art writing is good for you because I believe it will ground you and you'll be in touch with your emotions, I believe my ex repressed hers and it made her mentally ill, love you 2s I'm an 8
boundaries are so hard - we give too much - easily manipulated - and then we get mad ...
This is very good - however I disagree w “we want something back” that’s so far from the truth - and sry but some ppl just don’t gossip- and I’m one of them
Ok, I can accept all these words except from the gossiping thing
i need healthy safe interaction with ppl
22:08
I actually negotiate all my girls contracts cause she’ll get steam rolled
i say the lie they tell them self! but it doesnt heal cause i hit them where it hurts... in a split second no less.. and then hate myself for it.
Tired to be 2... I would like to be so much less sensitive and more selfish.
Named a famous writer type 2 for me please???? A classic writer
I think charles dickens was two
Henri nouwen
I don't want to be this awful 2...........yuk! hope there is hope for 2's.
I got a top 3 in my results... 2,5 and 9. I'm trying to figure out which one is predominant...it's hard.
Arneth Productions you should look at the health and stress arrows. You’re only one type.
by noticing the type in ourself we transcend it. that's the point of the enneagram. it's primarily a spiritual system
This man, although I love his many writings, and in his writings he is kind, in video format he feels to me to be condescending and aggressive.
shadow projection? i don't feel that way
@@fightington He spent most of the video attacking the 2 and only said maybe 2 things good- that's not how youre supposed to talk about the types- youre supposed to spend time talking about the good qualities also.
It is his style, I guess. Go watch the 9s video, I fell offended!
@@orangeziggy348 he's like that with all the types so he's not picking on any type in isolation
he's poking fun. he consistently pokes fun, including at himself. it's the way to expose where we can grow, and how we're limited and quite an amusingly silly species in lots of ways!!!
Please look into the Ennesgram. Is this biblical? Does Jesus teach us to "know" ourselves and place people in sections of a pie? Does Jesus teach this training? When R.R. talks about other tribes and religious group that are not following the true God, does that bring you warning? I know it can feel good to "understand" different personalities but the Ennesgram seems to divide and break down what Jesus came to build...unity in Christ.
He really lost me when he started trying to tell women we are programmed by “patriarchal culture”. It’s extremely condescending when people say women’s behaviors are just a product of training and programming. We aren’t weak.. and we aren’t that easily controlled but nice try.
Hey Bethany! That’s great if you are not, however I think that many women (and men) are and it’s good to be aware for the sake of progress. I have to work on bringing to light those parts of me that have been conditioned by the patriarchy in order to release them.
Oh honey....
Lila you may be operating as a “patriarchally programmed” individual but I am not. Sorry.
ok, see you back here when you have suffered enough that you want to tranacend your type
@@bethn9615 lol of course you think you are not. Good for you sis! Sounds like you are the one person not prone to conditioning.
Thanks for the gaslighting buddy!
‘You’re all mostly broken people. Good luck out there you manipulative, selfish suckers!’
It’s weird how in our current stare of societal evolution, type 2 are almost always damaged in their youth because of all the damaged hurtful people our system creates hurt us as kids. So when u r an open, empathic soul you are gonna get hurt toot suite. But it’s OUR fault! soooooo
Hey mr. Psychology, look up: blaming the victim.
Type 2s are not manipulative, you just like using and abusing them. When they ask, can you do something nice for me please, you flip out and cry manipulative. smh
Sorry, but I really feel that 2s can be very toxic even though they appear to be such victims all the time. But this is their own mentality that they project. Unhealthy 2s really do harm due to self-blindness and blaming others without recognizing their own effect. There is no self reflection if it is unhealthy and I have never met anyone more dishonest with how they view themselves.
This is a very denigrating presentation...his chauvanism is shining though...."when they get up on the wrong side of the bed" etc
According to you we don’t need God, we don’t need Jesus, we don’t need the Holy Spirit,All we need enneagram Right know we can start worship Enneagram ?
incorrect understanding. it is a tool to understand the primary movements of the self which suffers so it can be witnessed and transcended
This is so true, the 2s are unbearable people, have hardly ever met an evolved one. They are so manipulative people
You must be a one 😂
Brent Crowe No, I am a 6
I’ve met mostly average and unhealthy (frightening) type 2s. On rare occasion I’ll meet a healthy 2z However, if you look at the state of consciousness, most people operate below 200. No matter what type of enneagram, we all have room to grow, to evolve, to improve. One thing that I’ve noticed hampering the progress of unhealthy 2s is the lack of growth-mindset, as they’re so focused on others and deeply enmeshed in pathological co-dependent relationships. As long as they protect these false conditional relationships, it is difficult to take ownership of one’s life , and to courageously take responsibly for their own emotional well-being, which would move them towards the more enlightened levels.
@@contemplatingchrist I tend to agree with what you say, many ppl operate on a low conscious level but like you say unhealthy 2s who don't look at themselves and have no idea about how they feel are very difficult to deal with.
once you find you'll change your mind, a healthy one is not maniplutaltive all. and they respect your space
ENNEAGRAM TYPE 2=KARENS
We avoid conflict. Not a 2.
It’s the type 1. Not 2 lol
This lecture truly made me feel that I am on the right path no matter how much pain I have within and how much toxic I can be for myself and others.
I feel everything in my life kind of makes sense as to why it was there and I am a unique entity on my own.
Yes, as a child I was good at almost everything. I always fantasized having superpowers, being connected to God and angels in one form or another. I am really into spirituality. And the only form I can truly express myself is writing. I write poetry. And even though dark and deep, I feel extremely proud of them.
I found out about this only today and I am a 98% type 2 and 95% type 4. I don't know if being that high level of type 4 will help soothe my type 2 pain but I want to be better for myself than I am for others.
Love a 2 I'm an 8 lol ,the spirituality comment ant connectedness to God stood out to me check out these channels you might like, Thomas Sheridan ,he's awesome and archaix my new favorite not so spiritual but knowledge is power so therefore spiritual
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