i once cried while having sex with my ex because he forced me to do it. and then, someone came into my life, and we made love. and i cried the next day because it was so beautiful, so divine. it wasn't the kind of sex that makes you feel hypersexualized. it was the kind that makes you feel safe, warm and open. it was the kind that makes you feel worshipped, connected. i never really thought that one sex would heal me from the trauma of being used, and feeling forced to do it. i and it did.
😢 I feel this so hard. I've never healed from the experience. Wish I could, but I know it won't ever happen for me. I won't take the risk again. Ever. 😢
“I don’t know what happened…I don’t know what happened…I was young and sweet and then something happened…something overwhelming…something everlasting…everlasting…” that’s really where it gets me
Fell in love at 16. We decided to have a kid together in highschool. My life changed forever. He went on to cheat and be one of the worst people I have ever met. I was so young...
Lyrics: I sing the lord’s euthanasia blues When I take you and your Brother in the back pew Drive into the median Keep myself from eating and wonder Why I feel so sick Tradition’s ligature marks always Yellow through I lied when I said I didn’t want you In no time You’ll forget the way we were supposed to be Asking what I’m on this time Holding on to you like I do Like we’re the only people in the World god left to mind to Two drowning coals won’t ever light But if I ask you to, you’ll warm the night If I want you like I said I’d never do I would hold my breath and Sit down next to you Terrified you’ll bite the hand that needs you And right now I need you I don’t know what happened I don’t know what happened I was young and sweet And then something happened Something overwhelming something everlasting Time drags on I hate him for the time he’s gone I’ve been here for weeks I’ve been here for years I’ve been here too long I forgot what stop means Either I drink it or the boat sinks It’s easy for him to get out of me What I’ve been praying will get out of me Will I always be crying during sex with you All my dreams take place in Heaven where it’s quiet, lying next to you Heavy breathing and sighs, bruises Between my thighs Look me deep In my eyes like I’m a river worth wading And if I’m crying, it’s because I’m in love And I could love you if I tried And I’m trying I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying
This song is about how childhood trauma, likely sexual in nature, made her hyper-sexual and unable to have proper sexual boundaries. It's about finding love after having been used for your body for so long. "I was young and sweet And then something happened Something overwhelming Something everlasting" "It’s easy for him to get out of me What I’ve been praying will get out of me"
Her music makes me feel things I havnt felt since I was a teenager and I'm 40 this Friday. It's almost too much to contain. I guess my life isn't over yet. Lol
> One of the themes down South, especially, is that you don’t talk about anything. Anything that happened, you don’t talk about it. It’s a common theme that whenever you go through something, you just don’t speak about it afterwards. I think it’s nice to hear somebody say it out loud and be like, “Oh my God, me too.” It’s kind of nice to know that you’re not in it alone so you don’t feel so isolated.
I think that's what makes ethel cain's music so special too, is she can talk about these things nobody else does while not being portraying it disrespectfully
i swear this song hits so deep to me.. have literally cried during sex because i couldn't believe someone would actually make me feel good.. and if i'm crying, it's because i'm in love ♡
I love Ethel for singing about sexual trauma, it makes me (and ik so many others) feel seen. It gives me something beautiful to pair to something so awful.
Ptomlomaea is so cathartic for me. When you/ve been through that shit most people cant understand you. I still dont like being in the same room as men. Especially religious men, Last time I went to church I had a full on panic attack. Its hard to believe that you can heal. Its hard to believe that good men exist.
@@sarahruiz6553 that one hurts to listen to, but it expresses the feeling so well. It’s awful knowing we’re not alone but comforting at the same time that others understand. But I completely agree it’s hard for me to believe as well. It’s fucked up my life so much, it’s already been 4yrs and I’m still a mess. My anxiety and paranoia around others I feel will always be awful because of it. I’m terrified of men too. But we will heal at some point ya know? It’s just going to be a long road to get there…
@luscaasg You forgot something: Songs by Billie Eilish were mostly conceived and written by her brother with contributions by Billie. Ethel Cain did all of her own work. So, don't you sound dumb now. But, in your case, you probably never knew you were dumb.
@@luscaasgpeople like you suck. i’m sure ethel would like that compliment. believe it or not but billie was a small artist like her too! i was there to see it. and here to see Ethel’s Uprising. Get out of here with your negativity.
my first serious relationship was like this. i was 17. looking back there was nothing meaningful about any of the sex we had. not even the first time. there was never any aftercare. we always got dressed immediately after. but it being my first serious relationship, i just thought that was how it was supposed to be despite hating it and feeling so empty afterwards. he later became very abusive and would often guilt trip or degrade me any time i refused sex. the words got to me and broke me down so i gave in every time to avoid the fighting. i lost respect for myself without even knowing. i later ended up leaving bc of his increasingly abusive and narcissistic behavior. however, the damage was already done. i went into new relationships without having a drop of respect for myself. being blinded by hyper sexuality, not knowing it was a trauma response, and giving myself up too early because i thought maybe these boys would like me more. only for them to leave bc that's all they wanted from me in the end. even being sa'd at a party by a male friend i trusted. i was so damaged, i convinced myself that it was my fault that i got hurt and maybe i was sending him the wrong signals. in my head, i was defending his actions. i didn't want to believe that a friend would do something like that to me. it wasn't until i found my current boyfriend that everything changed. he gave me choices i didn't know i had, he helped me learn how to love, respect, and forgive myself. he has been so patient with me navigating through my trauma and finally being able to unpack all the baggage. never has he pressured me or made me feel less worthy for saying no. he gave me a safe space that i never had before. i would not mentally be where i am today without him, nor would i be the person i am today without him. i am forever grateful for the ways that he has helped me find myself and the ways he continues to teach me more about myself every day. we've been together for 2 years now and i couldn't imagine a life without him. for anyone going through a similar situation, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. do not sell yourself short. you are more than just a body. find yourself. love yourself. be yourself. ♥️
I sing the lord’s euthanasia blues When I take you and your brother in the back pew Drive into the median, keep myself from eating and wonder why I feel so sick Tradition’s ligature marks always yellow through I lied when I said I didn’t want you In no time, you’ll forget the way we were supposed to be Asking what I’m on this time, holding on to you like I do Like we’re the only people in the world god left to mind to Two drowning coals won’t ever light But if I ask you to, you’ll warm the night If I want you like I said I’d never do I would hold my breath and sit down next to you Terrified you’ll bite the hand that needs you And right now I need you I don’t know what happened I don’t know what happened I was young and sweet And then something happened Something overwhelming Something everlasting Time drags on I hate him for the time he’s gone I’ve been here for weeks, I’ve been here for years I’ve been here too long I forgot what stop means Either I drink it or the boat sinks It’s easy for him to get out of me What I’ve been praying will get out of me Will I always be crying during sex with you All my dreams take place in heaven where it’s quiet, lying next to you Heavy breathing and sighs, bruises between my thighs, look me deep In my eyes like I’m a river worth wading And if I’m crying, it’s because I’m in love And I could love you if I tried And I’m trying I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying
Sadly lacking that line in the demo “kissing through the screen at the back door , just like I asked for and I swear on my life that when it hurts you know I’m good for it.”
I just discovered this song… I always felt used in all my relationship’s during sex, I’ve been single since 2017 and I hope that the next person I meet will make me feel liberated and break free from those traumatic experiences, I always felt yucky and gross after every sexual interaction…especially my last relationship I told my ex that it hurt and he got pissed and said “I didn’t do anything yet” I deserve better This song speaks to me loudly thank you for the upload 💖
Someone hurt you and made you feel unworthy. You not being comfortable deep down with yourself makes it hard to let go and be intimate because inside you can’t except someone’s love until you believe your a great person in your heart. Only you will be the one to break those chains…
-I'm an older 63yr old grandfather now, but i remember my younger 19 yr.old days, being in a girls bed when her mother was out. And the sex was soft & sweet as she cried. ,,And as was common back then so was, the older furniture, phones & tv's being on during the sex as you see here.
My old girlfriend once started sobbing in the middle of it and I didn't know what to feel but after a moment I realized I really disliked it but I didn't want to be a completely insensitive dick so instead of telling her to stop like I wanted I asked her why she was crying, before telling her that I think fucking is supposed to be fun and if it's not then why do it with me. She said she was crying because she got to have sex with me, at the time I didn't take this as a compliment or even any kind of statement of her appreciation and this wasn't the first time we had sex it was more like the thousandth time and she had never done this. I was mostly confused so I asked her to please try to explain and she told me it wasn't a bad thing, she was just very overwhelmed when she was struck by the fact that she didn't know how many times she would get to do this again. She was a person who was able to feel things very deeply but this instance never resonated with me till just now hearing this song and I'm holding back tears, she passed away a few years after that night, rest in peace babe
I used to be in a really unhealthy relationship where I would always cry after but now I’m in a super healthy relationship and every once and awhile I will sob after and I have no idea why I always reassure him he did nothing wrong i guess it’s just strange having someone that loves me for me and not my body
this song hits when you finally find someone who makes you feel like you don’t need to over-sexualize yourself. i remember crying the first time me and my boyfriend had sex, not because of sadness but because i finally felt loved and desired. desired not in a lustful way but in a pure, loving way.
I don't know what happened I don't know what happened I was young and sweet And then something happened Something overwhelming Something everlasting I wasn't even molested as a kid and this hit so hard. What beautiful, gut-wrenching writing.
I came to her music a while back when I was experimenting, I listened to all her songs and albums again and again till I finally got it but this demo understands me like no other song
1000th subscriber woo. That aside, this song got to me. Ive never had the ability to express it, but my ex fiance made me cry during sex. I remember, feeling like every bad moment or sensation went away. I just remember the quiet of each others breathing and no other sound in the world. I havent cried during sex since, because it no longer feels the way it did when i was with them.. Thank you for this song. Thank you for this channel.
This song has been by my side for a f long time now… it just feels like… it’s embracing me, calmly, and painful on the surface… it’s like telling me it’s ok to feel this f sad,m and broken, even though I’m all alone, completely alone, on my own. Crying to sleep and dreaming of the person that meant everything have been my sleeping pills…
legit cried the first time my current partner gave me a hickie because it was the first time someone left a bruise on me out of true genuine love and made me feel safe and cared for
This exact kind of girl used to cause me a ton of trouble... but I always kept pursuing her. I fucking adored her... worshipped, even. By the way, EC is the most amazing and talented songwriter to come around in quite some time. I adore her work as well. ❤
The only person I realize I truly wanted to be intimate with, I couldn’t, I stopped myself when we were about to because the love was too much for me, it was too overwhelming. I sort of sabotaged that shortly after and continued having sex with people that just wanted me because I’m good at it and I give all of me to people that I care about in so many ways… but recently, I realized that fucking and seeking the validation of having approval and fake love doesn’t mean shit to me because it only sucks the life out of me. I only recently realized this, and started missing her. I didn’t realize that when I met her it sort of ignited so much chaos within me to be unraveled… because I was running from that love. It was too much to hold because it battled with the my internal demons. Now since it’s all unraveled, I realized I was addicted to being a martyr for people who didn’t know how valuable I am or how to treat me. Now I miss the one that made me cry, because I only spent time with her for a few days, but it’s been 2 years since I met her and on my worst days I close my eyes and I still see hers and somehow it always reminds me that I am seen and loved, and somehow I feel like she’s always been there with me with some sort of quantum connection that I’ve just been avoiding. I see her in my dreams often, even when I was extremely preoccupied in other relationships trying NOT to think of her… she’d pop up. For some reason my ex was extremely jealous of her despite me really ever saying much. Always. She was obsessed with knowing every detail of those 3 days, and despite me leading out key information that I was even trying to forget about, my ex somehow knew that her touch could never amount to my 🤍’s, that it wouldn’t make me feel like our essence was gonna melt together. My ex somehow knew that when I looked into her eyes it didn’t make me feel like my naked raw authentic self was seen and loved for all of my light and dark, despite me never saying that… it’s like my ex tried to keep my mind on this girl when I was trying so hard to say “look I’m committed to you!” Haha, I guess deep down the heart cannot uncommit when it’s true. Because I hear her in every song, every playlist I make secretly reminds me of her, idk how I’ve lied to myself about it this long honestly. I don’t care that i only knew her 3 days and that we didn’t even have sex. Something was sacred about that, and I feel like I’ve defiled myself and let others use me in the name of running from this, or rather, from me. I love her, and I realize now that I don’t want to spend time with fake love. I’m not even concerned about the girl messaging me or anything, I just feel like I’ll see her again, I just need to do something different for a change and take care of myself instead of others so much. This song is beautiful because it represents that moment for me, and how my true love deserves all of me.
"Songetext" I sing the lord's euthanasia blues When I take you and your brother in the back pew Drive into the median, keep myself from eating and wonder why I feel so sick Tradition's ligature marks always yellow through I lied when I said I didn't want you In no time, you'll forget the way we were supposed to be Asking what I'm on this time, holding on to you like I do Like we're the only people in the world god left to mind to Two drowning coals won't ever light But if I ask you to, you'll warm the night If I want you like I said I'd never do I would hold my breath and sit down next to you Terrified you'll bite the hand that needs you And right now I need you I don't know what happened I don't know what happened I was young and sweet And then something happened Something overwhelming Something everlasting Time drags on I hate him for the time he's gone I've been here for weeks, I've been here for years I've been here too long I forgot what stop means Either I drink it or the boat sinks It's easy for him to get out of me What I've been praying will get out of me Will I always be crying during sex with you All my dreams take place in heaven where it's quiet, lying next to you Heavy breathing and sighs, bruises between my thighs, look me deep in my eyes like I'm a river worth wading And if I'm crying, it's because I'm in love And I could love you if I tried And I'm trying I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying ~ ~ Don't forget to look through the comments to share your thoughts and creativity. We love you ~
After you beat Hello Neighbor Act Finale and beat Hello Neighbor, the final game, this theme plays! Ethel Cain just sampled this from Hello Neighbor! Pretty cool, huh?
It happens to me occasionally as I'm usually depressed af and constantly feeling like crying and screaming but I can't, so when I get to have sex with my partner I am so desperate to feel something else than the emptiness and all the other crippling things I feel, and to cling on the feeling of being touched and allowing myself to be vulnerable, that I finally cry. He knows not to stop, I don't want him to. I need to lose myself in the fleeting oblivion...
[Verse 1] I sing the lord’s euthanasia blues When I take you and your brother in the back pew Drive into the median, keep myself from eating and wonder why I feel so sick Tradition’s ligature marks always yellow through [Verse 2] I lied when I said I didn’t want you In no time, you’ll forget the way we were supposed to be Asking what I’m on this time, holding on to you like I do Like we’re the only people in the world god left to mind to [Interlude] Two drowning coals won’t ever light But when i'm cold, you’ll warm the night [Verse 3] Time drags on I hate him for the time he’s gone I’ve been here for weeks, I’ve been here for years I’ve been here too long I forgot what stop means Either I drink it or the boat sinks It’s easy for him to get out of me What I’ve been praying will get out of me [Chorus] Will I always be crying during sex with you I think about it when you're dreaming and it's Quiet, lying next to you Kissing through the screen at the back door Just like i asked for And i swear on my life that when it hurts you know i'm good for it Do you ever want to die so bad you'd fall in love for it
Title is pretty devo do you like depeche mode?Nice harmonys angst soaked regret of the fatigue settling in an picking up the pieces what's left after the vultures.😊❤
If i die and my boyfriend finds this, hello baby, i just want you to know i love you so much, thank you for loving me, talking with me about every single problem, thank you for being alive and staying with me and willing to know me better and live with my traumatizing beahviour. im sorry for every time i hurt you but i always loved the way you kiss my lips, my neck, my hands, my forehead, i always loved your voice, your pointy nose, your blondish hair and your caring nature..i love you and please always remember me ❤️ forever, your star shaped earrings, Lana coded and cappuccio coquette girl
i once cried while having sex with my ex because he forced me to do it. and then, someone came into my life, and we made love. and i cried the next day because it was so beautiful, so divine. it wasn't the kind of sex that makes you feel hypersexualized. it was the kind that makes you feel safe, warm and open. it was the kind that makes you feel worshipped, connected.
i never really thought that one sex would heal me from the trauma of being used, and feeling forced to do it. i
and it did.
damn that's fucked up
hope you're doing better 🙏
😢 I feel this so hard. I've never healed from the experience. Wish I could, but I know it won't ever happen for me. I won't take the risk again. Ever. 😢
This gives me so much hope there exists sex like that, in this world objectification is so normalized
SAME.
“I don’t know what happened…I don’t know what happened…I was young and sweet and then something happened…something overwhelming…something everlasting…everlasting…” that’s really where it gets me
Same 😭💔
Fell in love at 16. We decided to have a kid together in highschool. My life changed forever. He went on to cheat and be one of the worst people I have ever met. I was so young...
read this as it played. I'm having ethel lyrics tatted all over, and this needs to be one.
As someone who experienced a SA at a young age, that part hits me deep.
If this song was back on spotify, I'd have one less problem in life.
was it on her oficial spotify discography?
You know what I do, I download it from soundcloud and into spotify 💋
@@dykttatuob_rmsm It was, yes.. and we miss it dearly every day... 🫠💔
@@grace-g9f you... you can do that?? wow, good for you, i didn't know! 😅❤️🩹
there's a podcast version on spotify
Lyrics:
I sing the lord’s euthanasia blues
When I take you and your
Brother in the back pew
Drive into the median
Keep myself from eating and wonder
Why I feel so sick
Tradition’s ligature marks always
Yellow through
I lied when I said I didn’t want you
In no time
You’ll forget the way we were supposed to be
Asking what I’m on this time
Holding on to you like I do
Like we’re the only people in the
World god left to mind to
Two drowning coals won’t ever light
But if I ask you to, you’ll warm the night
If I want you like I said I’d never do
I would hold my breath and
Sit down next to you
Terrified you’ll bite the hand that needs you
And right now I need you
I don’t know what happened
I don’t know what happened
I was young and sweet
And then something happened
Something overwhelming something everlasting
Time drags on
I hate him for the time he’s gone
I’ve been here for weeks
I’ve been here for years
I’ve been here too long
I forgot what stop means
Either I drink it or the boat sinks
It’s easy for him to get out of me
What I’ve been praying will get out of me
Will I always be crying during sex with you
All my dreams take place in
Heaven where it’s quiet, lying next to you
Heavy breathing and sighs, bruises
Between my thighs
Look me deep In my eyes like
I’m a river worth wading
And if I’m crying, it’s because I’m in love
And I could love you if I tried
And I’m trying
I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying
"and i forgot what stop means" kill me pls
This song is about how childhood trauma, likely sexual in nature, made her hyper-sexual and unable to have proper sexual boundaries. It's about finding love after having been used for your body for so long.
"I was young and sweet
And then something happened
Something overwhelming
Something everlasting"
"It’s easy for him to get out of me
What I’ve been praying will get out of me"
Yep. This is exactly how I feel
@@Ty-iz9wd😔🫂
@@Ty-iz9wdreal
Ive also Seen a lot of people also interpret it as being a teenager and loosing your virginity for the first time and how your supposed to feel
her music makes me feel like no other artist's does
that part.
This is Lana’s real baby
Dandelion hands,
Flatsound,
Teen suicide,
Elvis depressedly
No matter how much I've listened to other songs that have a similar style it just doesn't hit the same.
Her music makes me feel things I havnt felt since I was a teenager and I'm 40 this Friday. It's almost too much to contain. I guess my life isn't over yet. Lol
> One of the themes down South, especially, is that you don’t talk about anything. Anything that happened, you don’t talk about it. It’s a common theme that whenever you go through something, you just don’t speak about it afterwards. I think it’s nice to hear somebody say it out loud and be like, “Oh my God, me too.” It’s kind of nice to know that you’re not in it alone so you don’t feel so isolated.
I think that's what makes ethel cain's music so special too, is she can talk about these things nobody else does while not being portraying it disrespectfully
i swear this song hits so deep to me.. have literally cried during sex because i couldn't believe someone would actually make me feel good.. and if i'm crying, it's because i'm in love ♡
stop this comment is gonna make me cry
This is such a good comment
I hope to one day relate to this…
I hope someday I'll relate to this comment...
may this type of love find everyone
I love Ethel for singing about sexual trauma, it makes me (and ik so many others) feel seen. It gives me something beautiful to pair to something so awful.
Ptomlomaea is so cathartic for me. When you/ve been through that shit most people cant understand you. I still dont like being in the same room as men. Especially religious men, Last time I went to church I had a full on panic attack. Its hard to believe that you can heal. Its hard to believe that good men exist.
@@sarahruiz6553hug
🫂
@@sarahruiz6553 that one hurts to listen to, but it expresses the feeling so well. It’s awful knowing we’re not alone but comforting at the same time that others understand. But I completely agree it’s hard for me to believe as well. It’s fucked up my life so much, it’s already been 4yrs and I’m still a mess. My anxiety and paranoia around others I feel will always be awful because of it. I’m terrified of men too. But we will heal at some point ya know? It’s just going to be a long road to get there…
i cried reading this comment
This is one of the most gorgeous songs I've ever heard
Wait until you hear all of her others. All of her songs are great. She is the most talented new artist since Billie Eilish.
@@jasonx-ray3921since who? LMAOO don’t compare miss ethel cain with this one
@luscaasg You forgot something: Songs by Billie Eilish were mostly conceived and written by her brother with contributions by Billie. Ethel Cain did all of her own work. So, don't you sound dumb now. But, in your case, you probably never knew you were dumb.
@@luscaasgpeople like you suck. i’m sure ethel would like that compliment. believe it or not but billie was a small artist like her too! i was there to see it. and here to see Ethel’s Uprising. Get out of here with your negativity.
Anyone else been looking for this kinda music for a while now? Thanks to that artist I feel relieved of so many pressure.. this is ethereal.
If you like this, I'd really recommend Cigarettes after Sex. Listen to the song "K".
@@milktea2323 Yeah they are great but their perspective aint this... she just hits diff this one
@@karuru2284 I feel you, this is a great song
@@karuru2284FACTS ethel has another level of songwriting and a unique spirit
Another person I can think of that gives me this vibe is Nicole Dollanganger
my first serious relationship was like this. i was 17. looking back there was nothing meaningful about any of the sex we had. not even the first time. there was never any aftercare. we always got dressed immediately after. but it being my first serious relationship, i just thought that was how it was supposed to be despite hating it and feeling so empty afterwards. he later became very abusive and would often guilt trip or degrade me any time i refused sex. the words got to me and broke me down so i gave in every time to avoid the fighting. i lost respect for myself without even knowing. i later ended up leaving bc of his increasingly abusive and narcissistic behavior. however, the damage was already done. i went into new relationships without having a drop of respect for myself. being blinded by hyper sexuality, not knowing it was a trauma response, and giving myself up too early because i thought maybe these boys would like me more. only for them to leave bc that's all they wanted from me in the end. even being sa'd at a party by a male friend i trusted. i was so damaged, i convinced myself that it was my fault that i got hurt and maybe i was sending him the wrong signals. in my head, i was defending his actions. i didn't want to believe that a friend would do something like that to me. it wasn't until i found my current boyfriend that everything changed. he gave me choices i didn't know i had, he helped me learn how to love, respect, and forgive myself. he has been so patient with me navigating through my trauma and finally being able to unpack all the baggage. never has he pressured me or made me feel less worthy for saying no. he gave me a safe space that i never had before. i would not mentally be where i am today without him, nor would i be the person i am today without him. i am forever grateful for the ways that he has helped me find myself and the ways he continues to teach me more about myself every day. we've been together for 2 years now and i couldn't imagine a life without him. for anyone going through a similar situation, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. do not sell yourself short. you are more than just a body. find yourself. love yourself. be yourself. ♥️
❤ happy for you
making me tear up at 4:31 am
Genuinely one of the most gut wrenchingly beautiful songs I’ve heard in my entire life. Her melodies are unlike any other
I sing the lord’s euthanasia blues
When I take you and your brother in the back pew
Drive into the median, keep myself from eating and wonder why I feel so sick
Tradition’s ligature marks always yellow through
I lied when I said I didn’t want you
In no time, you’ll forget the way we were supposed to be
Asking what I’m on this time, holding on to you like I do
Like we’re the only people in the world god left to mind to
Two drowning coals won’t ever light
But if I ask you to, you’ll warm the night
If I want you like I said I’d never do
I would hold my breath and sit down next to you
Terrified you’ll bite the hand that needs you
And right now I need you
I don’t know what happened
I don’t know what happened
I was young and sweet
And then something happened
Something overwhelming
Something everlasting
Time drags on
I hate him for the time he’s gone
I’ve been here for weeks, I’ve been here for years
I’ve been here too long
I forgot what stop means
Either I drink it or the boat sinks
It’s easy for him to get out of me
What I’ve been praying will get out of me
Will I always be crying during sex with you
All my dreams take place in heaven where it’s quiet, lying next to you
Heavy breathing and sighs, bruises between my thighs, look me deep In my eyes like I’m a river worth wading
And if I’m crying, it’s because I’m in love
And I could love you if I tried
And I’m trying
I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying
Sadly lacking that line in the demo “kissing through the screen at the back door , just like I asked for and I swear on my life that when it hurts you know I’m good for it.”
I swear on my life that when it hurts you know I'm good for it 🖤
I'm trying every moment. As if I didn't love you from the moment I touched you.
@@Umbrey_Dunctum "Do you ever want to die so bad, you'd fall in love for it?"
@@Death_Bliss It's a bit scary... that's not Ethel, but how I got a response 11 moths later +months,x
I really really wish this was on Spotify or Apple Music. It's one of my absolute favourite songs of hers, it's so beautiful.
The feeling of this song is genuineky unique and weidly comforting/nostalgic but also foreign and unrecognisable? It's orange
Synesthesia… it feels warm and orange to me too. A little bit of a red in that orange. Reddish orange is the color I feel..
«And all my dreams take place in heaven where it’s quiet, lying next to you»
i’ve never had a song make me sob like this before. i needed this hayden
There’s something so great about this song. Very addictive and gets stuck in my head.
this makes me feel like I've fallen off a train in South Dakota and I'm lying by the tracks, my body broken, while snow falls.
Poignant imagery
South dakota gang
word. i love south dakota and someone that i used to know was from there so i can relate to this song from the time.
Literally goosebumps. So many individually distinct parts of this one song
I just discovered this song…
I always felt used in all my relationship’s during sex, I’ve been single since 2017 and I hope that the next person I meet will make me feel liberated and break free from those traumatic experiences, I always felt yucky and gross after every sexual interaction…especially my last relationship I told my ex that it hurt and he got pissed and said “I didn’t do anything yet”
I deserve better
This song speaks to me loudly thank you for the upload 💖
Someone hurt you and made you feel unworthy. You not being comfortable deep down with yourself makes it hard to let go and be intimate because inside you can’t except someone’s love until you believe your a great person in your heart. Only you will be the one to break those chains…
u deserved better for sure and some people just are so inhumane
god i feel like i’m in another dimension her voice and the feelings it gives you are so ethereal
Missing this on spotify ):
Every aspect of every sing of her's is just pure perfection
yes she has such a unique perspective and brings so much to music, love her
i'll never stop going back to listen to this beautiful song
This song reads like I prayer, I end up closing my eyes when I sing along and just get into this meditative state.
-I'm an older 63yr old grandfather now, but i remember my younger 19 yr.old days, being in a girls bed when her mother was out. And the sex was soft & sweet as she cried. ,,And as was common back then so was, the older furniture, phones & tv's being on during the sex as you see here.
Been looking for this feeling all day and I can't even say I'm surprised Ethel was keeping it
My old girlfriend once started sobbing in the middle of it and I didn't know what to feel but after a moment I realized I really disliked it but I didn't want to be a completely insensitive dick so instead of telling her to stop like I wanted I asked her why she was crying, before telling her that I think
fucking is supposed to be fun and if it's not then why do it with me. She said she was crying because she got to have sex with me, at the time I didn't take this as a compliment or even any kind of statement of her appreciation and this wasn't the first time we had sex it was more like the thousandth time and she had never done this. I was mostly confused so I asked her to please try to explain and she told me it wasn't a bad thing, she was just very overwhelmed when she was struck by the fact that she didn't know how many times she would get to do this again. She was a person who was able to feel things very deeply but this instance never resonated with me till just now hearing this song and I'm holding back tears, she passed away a few years after that night, rest in peace babe
This is going to stick with me.. I have so many questions but alas rip
This song found the words for feelings I've had for so long but couldn't explain.
Chilling and full of desolation. Love the tender purity
Wow. Stumbled upon this and I am so happy I hit play. Love finding amazing new music/artists like this!
New addition to my random hidden Ethel Cain song playlist, CthelEain
“I don’t know what happened, I was young and sweet and then something happened. Something overwhelming. Something everlasting.”
I listen to this everyday to remind myself what perfection sounds like
she was insane for this
I used to be in a really unhealthy relationship where I would always cry after but now I’m in a super healthy relationship and every once and awhile I will sob after and I have no idea why I always reassure him he did nothing wrong i guess it’s just strange having someone that loves me for me and not my body
this song is absolutely everything
this song hits when you finally find someone who makes you feel like you don’t need to over-sexualize yourself. i remember crying the first time me and my boyfriend had sex, not because of sadness but because i finally felt loved and desired. desired not in a lustful way but in a pure, loving way.
I don't know what happened
I don't know what happened
I was young and sweet
And then something happened
Something overwhelming
Something everlasting
I wasn't even molested as a kid and this hit so hard. What beautiful, gut-wrenching writing.
I came to her music a while back when I was experimenting, I listened to all her songs and albums again and again till I finally got it but this demo understands me like no other song
I need this in spotify so bad :(
i wish this was on spotify
1000th subscriber woo.
That aside, this song got to me. Ive never had the ability to express it, but my ex fiance made me cry during sex. I remember, feeling like every bad moment or sensation went away. I just remember the quiet of each others breathing and no other sound in the world. I havent cried during sex since, because it no longer feels the way it did when i was with them..
Thank you for this song. Thank you for this channel.
so i made a playlist of her b sides, the mountain goats, salvia plath and corbin and ive never cried more
Love him a lot but some of the things he's said to me has left me feeling like numbness is a mercy.
This song has been by my side for a f long time now… it just feels like… it’s embracing me, calmly, and painful on the surface… it’s like telling me it’s ok to feel this f sad,m and broken, even though I’m all alone, completely alone, on my own. Crying to sleep and dreaming of the person that meant everything have been my sleeping pills…
legit cried the first time my current partner gave me a hickie because it was the first time someone left a bruise on me out of true genuine love and made me feel safe and cared for
Is this song not on spotify? I have tears in my eyes because of how this song has deeply put into words some of my deepest feelings.
Nope, but it's in soundcloud. Most of her unreleased songs are thereeeee, I suggest Tounge and Dust Bowl!
@@Adian06 also its on the inbred cd + cassette as a bonus track
why isn't this on spotify i'm going to fkn riot
Cos the sample in the background is from a game and the publishers weren't very happys
god im so happy to find this song
Can't Lose With A Title Like This
This exact kind of girl used to cause me a ton of trouble... but I always kept pursuing her. I fucking adored her... worshipped, even. By the way, EC is the most amazing and talented songwriter to come around in quite some time. I adore her work as well. ❤
What happened?? Don’t leave us hanging!!!! 😊
Don't chase pussy my dude, never ends well
Before you say it, same applies to girls, don't get too obsessed with anyone.
Yes please!!! What happend if you don't mind our asking!
The only person I realize I truly wanted to be intimate with, I couldn’t, I stopped myself when we were about to because the love was too much for me, it was too overwhelming. I sort of sabotaged that shortly after and continued having sex with people that just wanted me because I’m good at it and I give all of me to people that I care about in so many ways… but recently, I realized that fucking and seeking the validation of having approval and fake love doesn’t mean shit to me because it only sucks the life out of me. I only recently realized this, and started missing her. I didn’t realize that when I met her it sort of ignited so much chaos within me to be unraveled… because I was running from that love. It was too much to hold because it battled with the my internal demons. Now since it’s all unraveled, I realized I was addicted to being a martyr for people who didn’t know how valuable I am or how to treat me. Now I miss the one that made me cry, because I only spent time with her for a few days, but it’s been 2 years since I met her and on my worst days I close my eyes and I still see hers and somehow it always reminds me that I am seen and loved, and somehow I feel like she’s always been there with me with some sort of quantum connection that I’ve just been avoiding. I see her in my dreams often, even when I was extremely preoccupied in other relationships trying NOT to think of her… she’d pop up. For some reason my ex was extremely jealous of her despite me really ever saying much. Always. She was obsessed with knowing every detail of those 3 days, and despite me leading out key information that I was even trying to forget about, my ex somehow knew that her touch could never amount to my 🤍’s, that it wouldn’t make me feel like our essence was gonna melt together. My ex somehow knew that when I looked into her eyes it didn’t make me feel like my naked raw authentic self was seen and loved for all of my light and dark, despite me never saying that… it’s like my ex tried to keep my mind on this girl when I was trying so hard to say “look I’m committed to you!” Haha, I guess deep down the heart cannot uncommit when it’s true. Because I hear her in every song, every playlist I make secretly reminds me of her, idk how I’ve lied to myself about it this long honestly. I don’t care that i only knew her 3 days and that we didn’t even have sex. Something was sacred about that, and I feel like I’ve defiled myself and let others use me in the name of running from this, or rather, from me.
I love her, and I realize now that I don’t want to spend time with fake love. I’m not even concerned about the girl messaging me or anything, I just feel like I’ll see her again, I just need to do something different for a change and take care of myself instead of others so much. This song is beautiful because it represents that moment for me, and how my true love deserves all of me.
I'm really glad that you were able to reach this level of self-awareness and understand your value now & I'm praying that you reunite with her!
did you guys reunite?!
Love this song Sm!!!
Unique song magnificent lyrics.
"Songetext"
I sing the lord's euthanasia blues
When I take you and your brother in the back pew
Drive into the median, keep myself from eating and wonder why I feel so sick
Tradition's ligature marks always yellow through
I lied when I said I didn't want you
In no time, you'll forget the way we were supposed to be
Asking what I'm on this time, holding on to you like I do
Like we're the only people in the world god left to mind to
Two drowning coals won't ever light
But if I ask you to, you'll warm the night
If I want you like I said I'd never do
I would hold my breath and sit down next to you
Terrified you'll bite the hand that needs you
And right now I need you
I don't know what happened
I don't know what happened
I was young and sweet
And then something happened
Something overwhelming
Something everlasting
Time drags on
I hate him for the time he's gone
I've been here for weeks, I've been here for years
I've been here too long
I forgot what stop means
Either I drink it or the boat sinks
It's easy for him to get out of me
What I've been praying will get out of me
Will I always be crying during sex with you
All my dreams take place in heaven where it's quiet, lying next to you
Heavy breathing and sighs, bruises between my thighs, look me deep in my eyes like I'm a river worth wading
And if I'm crying, it's because I'm in love
And I could love you if I tried
And I'm trying
I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying
~ ~
Don't forget to look through the comments to share your thoughts and creativity. We love you ~
traumatized girls where we at
'sup. crying.
Hi
I need this song to be longer
this is helping me forget that everything isn’t so serious.
This song is about an incredibly serious topic.
such a beautiful soul and song.
The first Ethel Cain song I heard
After you beat Hello Neighbor Act Finale and beat Hello Neighbor, the final game, this theme plays! Ethel Cain just sampled this from Hello Neighbor! Pretty cool, huh?
🚪🔒🏚😠 🤨🏠
My auntie's name was Ethal Cain. True story. Made me curious about this artist.
favvvv Ethel song
For no reson this amazing tender song, pop up on the suggestion ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️..
why is my heart crying...😔so beautiful
so glad to have listened to this song.❤
3:13 ugh 😩
i love this song with all my heart
This song sends me where i need to go i love her.
The love of my life just sent this to me and I'm still having trouble believing she didn't write it.
Damn dude
Either I drink it or the BOAT SINKSSS
Such delicate insistent music
'look me deep in my eyes/like i'm a river worth wading' fuck....
It happens to me occasionally as I'm usually depressed af and constantly feeling like crying and screaming but I can't, so when I get to have sex with my partner I am so desperate to feel something else than the emptiness and all the other crippling things I feel, and to cling on the feeling of being touched and allowing myself to be vulnerable, that I finally cry. He knows not to stop, I don't want him to. I need to lose myself in the fleeting oblivion...
She's pure musicianship
Sampling the hn ost is crazy
Facts
They’re both sampled
@marikostarkov No they aren't, Nikita Kolesnikov recorded the original song
@@HyperrealisticLuigi that's what they're saying. they both sampled from what you said.
@@grimoireweissfan6969 No, they're saying the hello neighbor song is sampled from a different source, when it's the original
She’s such a genius
I come listen to this song when I need a reminder that it's ok
Either I drink it or the boat sinks 🥲
I’ve never related more to a song.
If you're a Twigs fan, you know good music 😉
please release this one mother
Sounds like Hello Neighbours Main Theme but 10x More DEPRESSING 😭
Because it is
[Verse 1]
I sing the lord’s euthanasia blues
When I take you and your brother in the back pew
Drive into the median, keep myself from eating and wonder why I feel so sick
Tradition’s ligature marks always yellow through
[Verse 2]
I lied when I said I didn’t want you
In no time, you’ll forget the way we were supposed to be
Asking what I’m on this time, holding on to you like I do
Like we’re the only people in the world god left to mind to
[Interlude]
Two drowning coals won’t ever light
But when i'm cold, you’ll warm the night
[Verse 3]
Time drags on
I hate him for the time he’s gone
I’ve been here for weeks, I’ve been here for years
I’ve been here too long
I forgot what stop means
Either I drink it or the boat sinks
It’s easy for him to get out of me
What I’ve been praying will get out of me
[Chorus]
Will I always be crying during sex with you
I think about it when you're dreaming and it's Quiet, lying next to you
Kissing through the screen at the back door
Just like i asked for
And i swear on my life that when it hurts you know i'm good for it
Do you ever want to die so bad you'd fall in love for it
girl be releasing the most marian dora core archives
Title is pretty devo do you like depeche mode?Nice harmonys angst soaked regret of the fatigue settling in an picking up the pieces what's left after the vultures.😊❤
Holy moly how have I just found you 😩
made me, a sex repulsed ace, wanna talk about sex trauma. made me feel like I could.
Yesss
@@TylerArmyLeader ilyyy 🫶 hope you're doing okay and have a nice week, you're a sweetheart.
@@koikun thank you so much, you're so sweet 💝
@@koikun you too!!
If I could like this twice, I would.
I cannot believe I get to hear this
I could tell by the cover art, I belong on this channel.
If i die and my boyfriend finds this, hello baby, i just want you to know i love you so much, thank you for loving me, talking with me about every single problem, thank you for being alive and staying with me and willing to know me better and live with my traumatizing beahviour. im sorry for every time i hurt you but i always loved the way you kiss my lips, my neck, my hands, my forehead, i always loved your voice, your pointy nose, your blondish hair and your caring nature..i love you and please always remember me ❤️
forever, your star shaped earrings, Lana coded and cappuccio coquette girl
I love Ethel but imo the demo of this is 100x better
Agreed, the original is so much more raw and emotional. Both are amazing tho ❤️
....where is it?.?
@@flowerswerewarpaint646 ...Rob S channel .
Link please? 🤍
This is so good and chill to listen to!❤️
Closing my eyes and trying to die
why didnt this one go to the stream platforms officially?
i was young and sweet and then something happened
So sad