As a nurse it’s super interesting to hear the lived experience of someone who has been through the system. Could you do a video about what the nurses did and didn’t do that helped or would have helped you ? Would be good to know when dealing with mental heath patients. Thank you! Love your work Jazz!!
Jazz Thornton thank you!! I feel like it would be super helpful and a good learning tool! I’ve recommended to your book to a lot of my collages because we deal with mental heath patients on a daily basis where I work.
telling the mha's not to throw patients into walls/chairs, or call them little shits over and over, or drag them across the room by their hair ...would be a good start. And not having a policy of never narking on your colleagues. If a mha threatens to break a patient's wrist while they are being restrained and there a five staff in the room but no one says anything, and when you report it, no one heard anything, that is fucked up and is not going to calm a patient down. If you see a colleague throw a patient into the wall because they are annoyed at them self-harming, report them or corroborate the patient's account when they try to report. Don't shove patients into walls just because they said a swear word, or if you see a colleague do it, then again, report it. Or if you genuinely believe none of this happens, starting realizing it does.
4 years ago, at 22 years old i almost took my own life. I was abused as a kid, broken, depressed, anorexic, bulimic, suicidal. I went in & out of psych units like it was a game of Chess. Suicide watch. I was on enough Antidepressants to kill a horse. I hated myself. I wanted out. I wanted the pain to stop. The gaslighting* to end. *(when a psycho makes a sane person question their own sanity, and thus think they themselves are the insane one). I wanted power. I got into witchcraft. I thought it would give me the identity i wanted, to be set apart from people who hurt me. It only made me sicker. Sicker. Thats what it did to me. The doctors said i’d never get well. That i would suffer severe Chronic Manic depression, and never be well, that id be stuck on antidepressants all of my life. I would plot suicide on a daily basis, binging and purging my food as often as opening and closing a door. The pain was too real. People choked me. Assaulted me. Told me i was ugly, i felt worthless. Nothing ever got better. Then my mother died. The (1) & only soul who ever loved /emotionally supported me was removed from the earth. I was stuck living with people who broke me, ruined my identity, thus causing me to hate God. I thought God hated me, that he was just like the ones who tortured me, a family of abusers, who cover up all their actions with the mask of religion. I didnt know that God is on my side. I didnt know that Jesus would Love and Defend me, and fight for me and that He later would heal me, rescue me from Family. The ones who caused me pain. The ones who choked me for wearing a necklace. I moved out after family threatened to throw all my belongings on the front yard, and have me permanently institutionalized in an insane asylum, when they were the ones who caused my mental illness via abuse. They blamed me for the abuse they did to me. To take my life in an insane asylum when they were the ones who made me suicidal. Next morning i spoke with my dead moms parents who let me live with them. I stayed on the antidepressants, prescribed. But they only made me sicker. I got deeper and deeper into witchcraft, thinking it was a solution. But it made me even more suicidal. Self hatred was inescapable. All my cards have fallen down. I have nothing left. But out. I wanted out. I decided i was going to kill myself. I was going to take all my pills. But then Jesus stepped in. I didnt die. I surrendered my life to Jesus to make me well and heal me. The deity i blamed for me being abused wanted to heal me. He Was fighting for me and Loved me all along. He wanted to love me. He wanted to give me His Heart. HE LOVES ME. JESUS. LOVES. ME . Jesus miraculously healed me - i am off all drugs and dont need them and i dont have any mental illnesses. I am totally healed , full of joy. I’m now a born again Christian, in my 20’s who wants the entire world to know that JESUS WANTS TO HEAL YOU HE. LOVES. YOU.
I had my own struggles too, im thankful enough to say im better now and managed to turn it into something positive. This girl is about to qualify as a mental health nurse after a long three years at uni. Keep raising your voice Jazz, we're all listening!
As a new graduate mental health clinician working with children and adolescents, I would love to hear from you about what we as a team could do better and or differently. Not often do we get the chance to hear from consumers themselves, which is a shame as I feel that would really help clinicians with their practice. As well as what could we do better, I would love to hear what your mental health team did well and what we should keep within our practice. Thanks so much for your work with VOH and for sharing your experience, it is genuinely helpful as a MH clinician to hear.
Its so inspiring seeing you taking everything you’ve been through and using it to help everyone else feel less alone❤️ you are so amazing and I can’t thankyou enough for all you do💞
Thank you so much, you’ve saved my life multiple times and I’m so thankful. Your truly amazing ❤️ carry on what your doing because your helping so many people
Jazz, you are so incredibly inspiring and strong. I am so grateful I stumbled across your tiktok account. You did it girl, you saved you yourself and still continue to save other people. The world needs more people like you. I relate to your story immensely and my dream would be to actually talk to you one day. I made a tiktok video dedicated to you - if you wanna check it out. Thank you for everything you do. I know this wasn't a question about psychiatric facilities (but maybe I would like to ask some questions as I live in toronto, Canada.) and see the differences and such. Anywaaays - just want to let you know how brave you are and admirable you are. I'm waiting for that movie!!! I've told so many of my friends about it already, and actually most people I talked too about this incredibly inspiring and relatable person, knew you and they absolutely adore you! They look up to you - again, you're so resilient and strong. (And we are from Canada) your voice, your words, your strength, your support is so greatly appreciated all around the world. I only wish to get to a point of stability and strength like you did. You have the purist and most empathetic soul. Honestly - I really really can't wait to watch your movie as the title says it all (even for me 5 days ago) to see you go from things you nor anyone should ever go through to really "stop surviving and start fighting" is just amazing. Again, thank you so much for everything you do. My tiktok is ashleywoodcroft And it would be such a dream for you to even see the video I dedicated for you towards saying thank you. I hope you're having a wonderful day💛 Keep on going girl Ashley
I was in and out of psych as a kid too and I can tell you that they did help me as a kid but I would never go back to one willingly. Thank you for sharing your story.
4 years ago, at 22 years old i almost took my own life. I was abused as a kid, broken, depressed, anorexic, bulimic, suicidal. I went in & out of psych units like it was a game of Chess. Suicide watch. I was on enough Antidepressants to kill a horse. I hated myself. I wanted out. I wanted the pain to stop. The gaslighting* to end. *(when a psycho makes a sane person question their own sanity, and thus think they themselves are the insane one). I wanted power. I got into witchcraft. I thought it would give me the identity i wanted, to be set apart from people who hurt me. It only made me sicker. Sicker. Thats what it did to me. The doctors said i’d never get well. That i would suffer severe Chronic Manic depression, and never be well, that id be stuck on antidepressants all of my life. I would plot suicide on a daily basis, binging and purging my food as often as opening and closing a door. The pain was too real. People choked me. Assaulted me. Told me i was ugly, i felt worthless. Nothing ever got better. Then my mother died. The (1) & only soul who ever loved /emotionally supported me was removed from the earth. I was stuck living with people who broke me, ruined my identity, thus causing me to hate God. I thought God hated me, that he was just like the ones who tortured me, a family of abusers, who cover up all their actions with the mask of religion. I didnt know that God is on my side. I didnt know that Jesus would Love and Defend me, and fight for me and that He later would heal me, rescue me from Family. The ones who caused me pain. The ones who choked me for wearing a necklace. I moved out after family threatened to throw all my belongings on the front yard, and have me permanently institutionalized in an insane asylum, when they were the ones who caused my mental illness via abuse. They blamed me for the abuse they did to me. To take my life in an insane asylum when they were the ones who made me suicidal. Next morning i spoke with my dead moms parents who let me live with them. I stayed on the antidepressants, prescribed. But they only made me sicker. I got deeper and deeper into witchcraft, thinking it was a solution. But it made me even more suicidal. Self hatred was inescapable. All my cards have fallen down. I have nothing left. But out. I wanted out. I decided i was going to kill myself. I was going to take all my pills. But then Jesus stepped in. I didnt die. I surrendered my life to Jesus to make me well and heal me. The deity i blamed for me being abused wanted to heal me. He Was fighting for me and Loved me all along. He wanted to love me. He wanted to give me His Heart. HE LOVES ME. JESUS. LOVES. ME . Jesus miraculously healed me - i am off all drugs and dont need them and i dont have any mental illnesses. I am totally healed , full of joy. I’m now a born again Christian, in my 20’s who wants the entire world to know that JESUS WANTS TO HEAL YOU HE. LOVES. YOU.
Hey jazz I was at shout conference this year in Auckland and I just wanna say that both times when you spoke were amazing and inspired me alot. I also wanna say that you are an amazing person and so beautiful. This last message is for everyone. You are an amazing human and the world is better with you in it, jesus loves you❤️❤️
Your such and inspiration to many young people I’m glad I can relate to someone through so many different ways. It would be so good if you could do a video about growing up throughout your childhood❤️
Thank you so much for an amazing video Jazz. I work as a nurse with child and adolescents with server mental health concerns and I always find it educational and inspiring to watch and listen to people like yourself talk about struggles with mental health and coming through them. I love like to know from the time you had with services like what I work in what you found helped from staff and what you did. Both in a ward like this and out in the community, if you ever decide to make a video on something like that it would be awesome :)
i was wondering if you had any information on ways to distract or other things to do instead of self harming. i’ve really been struggling with that and would love any help i could get! keep everything up jazz! you’re definitely going to make a difference in this world!!!💜
Ur such an inspiration and help me so much x I’m so glad u got through ur dark time and are still here to this day ❤️ and I’m so proud of u on how far u have come and that ur helping others ur truly amazing and deserve the world ❤️ thank you jazz c
I have been watching your vidios for a long tine (scine you started tictok) I was over life but the way you look at life really change my life and now your book is on the way and should be there next week. I’m sooooooo exited 🤩🤩🤩🤩
Hey Jazz, I admire the strength and passion you have toward mental health, Id like to share my story with you one day in hope you might have some good advice, the system hasn’t helped me and I’ve been in it for years now and I’m losing faith in myself and others, I really do hope you see this as you inspire me so much 💙
You are never alone Emma, Jesus is always near those in need. Lean on God and he will lead you though this. I will be praying for you constantly to heal and to regain strength in moving ahead.
I love you so much and you’ve helped through so many tough times. I’m so glad that your here and I just want you to know that you’ve helped so many people out. How did it feel to be with adults much older than you in the ward with you?
Meeting you at festival one this year was amazing❤️ I was just so shocked that I was finally meeting you i probably seemed like a bit of a weirdo😂. You are such an inspiration and I'm so happy that you exist❤️❤️❤️love ya😊
hi jazz, i know you posted this video a year ago so you probably wont see this but i have a question. when you were in the psych ward how did they know that when they let you go that you were still going to be safe, also did you believe that after being in the psych ward that you were better? i'm asking as im 14 and i've been close to going into one but im quite scared what would happened if i do. thankyou so much for sharing your story you are such an inspiration :) xx
This isn't related to the psych ward but I was wondering what your journey on medication was or is like. I am 14 and have been on antidepressants for a year now and I want to know more about other people's journeys on meds
Jazz... Do you know who to tell about suicidal through and self harm as I've only been doing serious sh for a couple months but it'd already destroyed my thighs completely. I've had suicidal thoughts for years and haven't told anyone. I think about it every day. Close to jumping twice. But I just don't know what to do. I made a plan to kms and the date is coming up but I can't get out of this shit life and that's the only way I can do it. And I'm only 11 ffs.
2 years ago my then 13 year old was admitted to youth mental unit. I remember signing all the paper work for her. And sitting in a room with barley anything in it. I myself found it very overwhelming. My daughter was just dissociated at time of admission. I couldn't imagine how she felt. She spent 3 weeks in the unit. And has another 8 stays over the last 2 years.
There's a reason that psych wards don't tend to have much stuff in rooms / be pretty bare - they tend to deliberately try and make it a low stimulus environment - as that tends to be helpful for patients with psychosis or who are agitated etc. ( i.e. high stimulus environments with lots of stuff around /pictures on walls, etc can make psychosis worse). It can suck if you are suffering from other issues where you actually want/would benefit from some stimulation, but at the end of the day, the patients suffering psychosis tend to be the most unwell so it is fair enough. Ideally, if you live in a country with more beds /units available, you can get more specialised care. But e.g. in NZ, we don't really have that, so they have to try and cater for patients with all sorts of different diagnoses altogether in the same ward. It's basically an impossible task, and results in a far from ideal atmosphere for certain patients.
Thank you for another video. I am incredibly thankful you are still here. What's it like being on an adult unit? Could you be more specific? I am 21 and have been in an adolescent psych ward, but never an adult one. I keep lying to everyone saying i'm safe when i'm not because I don't know anything about adult psych wards and the only thing I've heard about them is it's just like in the movies where people are screaming and violent and just awful things.
It really depends on what hospital and what ward. I've been in I think 9 different adult psych wards/hospitals (4 in the US, 5 in New Zealand). Most of the time it was pretty calm and positive environment. But it really depends /varies. And can also just depend on what patients are in the unit with you on any given day. Sometimes you might have one patient that is violent and kicks off everyday (usually they'll be transferred to a seclusion area though till they calm down). In my ten years of more or less living in adult psych wards, I got punched in the head about 4 times by patients. But other than that I felt safe most of the time (It was the staff who were far more violent than the patients in my experience). I was also often the one making most of the noise when I'd get dysregulated, so I can't complain too much about others (And you get used to other patients having meltdowns etc pretty quickly and don't tend to get bothered by it, if you spend enough time in there). Overall, the vast majority of patients I would meet - even the most unwell ones - were pretty good company, and I formed a lot of friendships with my fellow 'frequent fliers'.
When I was 14 i was almost taken to psych because of broken confidentiality and I was too scared to tell the truth so that I couldn’t go to psych but as I’ve felt more suicidal now, I feel like I will go in one day because of it but I’ve never been hospitalised for anything before
I almost went to a psych ward. I got sent here because my phycologist thought I wasn’t safe. I was turned away which is a good thing I guess but it kinda hurt and was hard to realise that I wasn’t ok even tho I got turned away u know? I just wanted to know if your meds made you gain weight. I’m going on new meds in a week and I’m terrified they’re going to make me gain weight. (I’m also struggling woth anorexia, more recovered now but still not good )
I have a question after you got out of the psych word did you go back to self harming and 2 you said that when you where 12 you tried to end your life if you don't mind me asking how
the process of being admitted in NZ sounds amazing compared to the UK, you're very lucky the care that you got. As someone who is still on a psych ward, I am v inspired by you x
Sedona, count each day as a victory of overcoming yesterday. Jesus is always near those in need. Lean into God and he will lead you through. Praying for you for healing and strength❤️
Hey lovely! Quick question - with the open psych ward do you have to have attempted to take your life to be admitted there or can you be admitted there with them thinking you're a danger to yourself, having suicidal thoughts, SH etc? xx
In New Zealand, even if you attempt suicide, you often won't get admitted (Even if you want to). We have so few psych beds that they are mostly reserved for people who are manic, psychotic or catatonically depressed. People with a BPD diagnoses rarely get a bed, and when they do, it's usually just short term. (I was somewhat of an exception in that regard, largely because it was cheaper to put me in the pscyh ward that leave me in the community due to the frequency and severity of my self-harm - it got to the point of needing general surgery pretty much every week, and some nights being the ED three times after they'd stitch me up, discharge me, and I'd just keep on self-harming). So in terms of open wards - you're lucky if you can even get a bed at all (if that's what you are after). If you do, it then can largely depend on where there's bed space. Or e.g. if it's your first time there and you are really suicidal, they'll probably put you in icu for a short period, then transfer you to the 'open wards' as soon as they can. The open wards aren't actually open though. They are still locked - they just aren't as intensive as the icu (i.e. lower staff/patient ratio, less restrictions in terms of safety, and so on). Though even if you are in the icu, though sometimes let you go use the facilities in the open ward anyway. (I used to be allowed to go play the piano). The US is very different though - when I lived there, they would always admit me if I self-harmed. Even towards the end of my time living there where I no longer had insurance and was a foreigner. I never got charged a cent either, and the inpatient treatment was so much better than anywhere in NZ - even in the nj state hospital I eventually ended up in during my last time over there.
You are such an inspiration and have helped me get so far. How long do you stay in a psych ward for? Is it a certain amount of time or is it until they think your better? ❤️
What do you think about the fact that people with bpd often don't get admitted as part of the treatment to try and stop the "attention seeking" Behavior?
I’m pretty sure psychiatrists focus on medication aspects and diagnosing and they are medical doctors and psychologists are more focused on psychotherapy (talk therapy) to help patients.
(20y/o) Hi ❤️ You are the strongest I know in the whole world ❤️ You are my role model now ❤️ I try to talk about mental health in Norway, because it is the most important thing for me because of what I have experienced ❤️ You are so beautiful and good dear, and I am so proud of how far you have come today❤️ One day you will get a hug from my babe
i know this vid is like 2yrs old but when you say you would try to hurt yourself do you mean like attempting or sh? if you arent comfortable sharing no problem! lots of love :)
How did you overcome feelings of guilt and shame when talking about your mental health journey? I know the only way to break the stigma surrounding mental health is to talk about it, but I feel almost embarrassed to share my story with others.
It’s very difficult in NZ to the USA. I experienced 4 psych hospitals in the US, and 4 in NZ. (Long ago lost count of how many actual admissions). Usa will admit pretty much anyone if they think they are a risk to yourself, cos they risk getting sued. Even if you have no insurance. US Hospitals tend to also be more strict eg my first time in a US hospital I was basically strip searched. Where as in Auckland (same hospital she’s talking about here) one time when i was admitted, the police had brought me in and told the staff i had a lighter in my pocket. Staff then dragged me into the hdu/seclusion area (the concrete area she refers to. Or she might be talking about the garage). Then left me in there alone. I did what you’d easily predict someone in that mental state to do with a lighter when they are locked alone. Got prettu burnt. But overall had a lot of good and bad experiences in nz and US. But US was generally better. In NZ they would admit me for selfharming but then just leave me to selfharm on the ward. (One time they left me to bleed out till eventually I went into hypovolemic shock. I was begging them to call ambulance cos I knew I was dying and had lost more blood than all the other 20+ times I’d needed a blood transfusion. I was struggling to breathe for a good 20mins before they finally rechecked my vital signs and were like, oh shit…If they’d waited much longer i literally would have died and I wasn’t even suicidal. Just selfharmed too deep). Whereas in the US, the few times I managed to find something to self harm deeply with, the staff freaked out when they found me and would immediately call a code and get me on oxygen etc and then rush me to the ED). Nz also frequently just doesn’t admit high risk people and will literally tell them they are ‘mentally competent’ enough to be allowed to kill themselves if they want to. As an uninsured foreigner living in the US, I had a lot better treatment than what nz psych wards offer (if they even admit you at all). My best mental hospital experience was actually a state hospital in trenton, nj. Spent a few months there before flying home to nz. (And being discharged). And the state of nj even paid for 2 nurses to accompany on my flight home ! Nz definitely doesn’t do that lol. US hospitals also tend to offer my therapy/treatment. Nz psych wards u basically just get given medication and left to sleep /watch tv all day.
God bless that she didn't succeed suicide but I ask my self how it is possible not to succeed suicide 14 times. It seems that there are different types of suicide those who scream for help and those who want to finish the suffering.
As a nurse it’s super interesting to hear the lived experience of someone who has been through the system. Could you do a video about what the nurses did and didn’t do that helped or would have helped you ? Would be good to know when dealing with mental heath patients. Thank you! Love your work Jazz!!
Yes!!! (And thank you for the work you do)
Jazz Thornton thank you!! I feel like it would be super helpful and a good learning tool! I’ve recommended to your book to a lot of my collages because we deal with mental heath patients on a daily basis where I work.
telling the mha's not to throw patients into walls/chairs, or call them little shits over and over, or drag them across the room by their hair ...would be a good start. And not having a policy of never narking on your colleagues. If a mha threatens to break a patient's wrist while they are being restrained and there a five staff in the room but no one says anything, and when you report it, no one heard anything, that is fucked up and is not going to calm a patient down. If you see a colleague throw a patient into the wall because they are annoyed at them self-harming, report them or corroborate the patient's account when they try to report. Don't shove patients into walls just because they said a swear word, or if you see a colleague do it, then again, report it. Or if you genuinely believe none of this happens, starting realizing it does.
4 years ago, at 22 years old i almost took my own life. I was abused as a kid, broken, depressed, anorexic, bulimic, suicidal. I went in & out of psych units like it was a game of Chess. Suicide watch. I was on enough Antidepressants to kill a horse. I hated myself. I wanted out. I wanted the pain to stop. The gaslighting* to end. *(when a psycho makes a sane person question their own sanity, and thus think they themselves are the insane one).
I wanted power. I got into witchcraft. I thought it would give me the identity i wanted, to be set apart from people who hurt me. It only made me sicker. Sicker. Thats what it did to me.
The doctors said i’d never get well. That i would suffer severe Chronic Manic depression, and never be well, that id be stuck on antidepressants all of my life.
I would plot suicide on a daily basis, binging and purging my food as often as opening and closing a door. The pain was too real. People choked me. Assaulted me. Told me i was ugly, i felt worthless. Nothing ever got better. Then my mother died. The (1) & only soul who ever loved /emotionally supported me was removed from the earth. I was stuck living with people who broke me, ruined my identity, thus causing me to hate God. I thought God hated me, that he was just like the ones who tortured me, a family of abusers, who cover up all their actions with the mask of religion. I didnt know that God is on my side. I didnt know that Jesus would Love and Defend me, and fight for me and that He later would heal me, rescue me from Family. The ones who caused me pain. The ones who choked me for wearing a necklace.
I moved out after family threatened to throw all my belongings on the front yard, and have me permanently institutionalized in an insane asylum, when they were the ones who caused my mental illness via abuse.
They blamed me for the abuse they did to me.
To take my life in an insane asylum when they were the ones who made me suicidal.
Next morning i spoke with my dead moms parents who let me live with them.
I stayed on the antidepressants, prescribed. But they only made me sicker. I got deeper and deeper into witchcraft, thinking it was a solution. But it made me even more suicidal. Self hatred was inescapable. All my cards have fallen down. I have nothing left. But out. I wanted out.
I decided i was going to kill myself. I was going to take all my pills.
But then Jesus stepped in. I didnt die. I surrendered my life to Jesus to make me well and heal me.
The deity i blamed for me being abused wanted to heal me. He Was fighting for me and Loved me all along.
He wanted to love me. He wanted to give me His Heart.
HE LOVES ME. JESUS. LOVES. ME .
Jesus miraculously healed me - i am off all drugs and dont need them and i dont have any mental illnesses. I am totally healed , full of joy.
I’m now a born again Christian, in my 20’s who wants the entire world to know that JESUS WANTS TO HEAL YOU
HE. LOVES. YOU.
I have been in several times myself and I'd love to talk to you about my experience @Gabby
I had my own struggles too, im thankful enough to say im better now and managed to turn it into something positive. This girl is about to qualify as a mental health nurse after a long three years at uni. Keep raising your voice Jazz, we're all listening!
Thank you for everything jazz, your the reason I am fighting, I’ve not got help yet, but you are the reason I’m here, ily jazz❤️❤️❤️❤️
As a new graduate mental health clinician working with children and adolescents, I would love to hear from you about what we as a team could do better and or differently. Not often do we get the chance to hear from consumers themselves, which is a shame as I feel that would really help clinicians with their practice. As well as what could we do better, I would love to hear what your mental health team did well and what we should keep within our practice.
Thanks so much for your work with VOH and for sharing your experience, it is genuinely helpful as a MH clinician to hear.
So glad you’ve posted another video. You’re incredible and I’m so proud of you. I love you so much❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for everything you do Jazz. You're the reason I'm still here today. ❤❤
Its so inspiring seeing you taking everything you’ve been through and using it to help everyone else feel less alone❤️ you are so amazing and I can’t thankyou enough for all you do💞
thank u for sharing your story to help so many people!! 💕💕😚
Thank you so much, you’ve saved my life multiple times and I’m so thankful. Your truly amazing ❤️ carry on what your doing because your helping so many people
Wow! that was so inspiring! thank you jazz for everything.. you are truely incredible! I am here fighting today, because of you!
Jazz, you are so incredibly inspiring and strong. I am so grateful I stumbled across your tiktok account. You did it girl, you saved you yourself and still continue to save other people. The world needs more people like you. I relate to your story immensely and my dream would be to actually talk to you one day. I made a tiktok video dedicated to you - if you wanna check it out. Thank you for everything you do. I know this wasn't a question about psychiatric facilities (but maybe I would like to ask some questions as I live in toronto, Canada.) and see the differences and such. Anywaaays - just want to let you know how brave you are and admirable you are. I'm waiting for that movie!!! I've told so many of my friends about it already, and actually most people I talked too about this incredibly inspiring and relatable person, knew you and they absolutely adore you! They look up to you - again, you're so resilient and strong. (And we are from Canada) your voice, your words, your strength, your support is so greatly appreciated all around the world. I only wish to get to a point of stability and strength like you did. You have the purist and most empathetic soul. Honestly - I really really can't wait to watch your movie as the title says it all (even for me 5 days ago) to see you go from things you nor anyone should ever go through to really "stop surviving and start fighting" is just amazing. Again, thank you so much for everything you do.
My tiktok is ashleywoodcroft
And it would be such a dream for you to even see the video I dedicated for you towards saying thank you. I hope you're having a wonderful day💛
Keep on going girl
Ashley
At 5:57 when you were describing the door , I could hear the door opening again while my multiple psych ward stays for many months ! 😥
I love your mindset now and you’ve truley helped me 🥺
Just brought your book. I have follwed you on tik tok since 1, you have made me such a happy person
You've saved so many lives. Mine too. Thank you🤍
I was in and out of psych as a kid too and I can tell you that they did help me as a kid but I would never go back to one willingly. Thank you for sharing your story.
I have been to a pshyc ward 4 times and the staff are truly amazing and do care about people. It was so relaxing there!
Thank you for sharing your story 💜
Jazz, your soo amazing and soo inspiring, thank you soo much for everything you do. ❤️❤️❤️
You have given so much to so many and you have so much more to give. You really are a voice of hope.
4 years ago, at 22 years old i almost took my own life. I was abused as a kid, broken, depressed, anorexic, bulimic, suicidal. I went in & out of psych units like it was a game of Chess. Suicide watch. I was on enough Antidepressants to kill a horse. I hated myself. I wanted out. I wanted the pain to stop. The gaslighting* to end. *(when a psycho makes a sane person question their own sanity, and thus think they themselves are the insane one).
I wanted power. I got into witchcraft. I thought it would give me the identity i wanted, to be set apart from people who hurt me. It only made me sicker. Sicker. Thats what it did to me.
The doctors said i’d never get well. That i would suffer severe Chronic Manic depression, and never be well, that id be stuck on antidepressants all of my life.
I would plot suicide on a daily basis, binging and purging my food as often as opening and closing a door. The pain was too real. People choked me. Assaulted me. Told me i was ugly, i felt worthless. Nothing ever got better. Then my mother died. The (1) & only soul who ever loved /emotionally supported me was removed from the earth. I was stuck living with people who broke me, ruined my identity, thus causing me to hate God. I thought God hated me, that he was just like the ones who tortured me, a family of abusers, who cover up all their actions with the mask of religion. I didnt know that God is on my side. I didnt know that Jesus would Love and Defend me, and fight for me and that He later would heal me, rescue me from Family. The ones who caused me pain. The ones who choked me for wearing a necklace.
I moved out after family threatened to throw all my belongings on the front yard, and have me permanently institutionalized in an insane asylum, when they were the ones who caused my mental illness via abuse.
They blamed me for the abuse they did to me.
To take my life in an insane asylum when they were the ones who made me suicidal.
Next morning i spoke with my dead moms parents who let me live with them.
I stayed on the antidepressants, prescribed. But they only made me sicker. I got deeper and deeper into witchcraft, thinking it was a solution. But it made me even more suicidal. Self hatred was inescapable. All my cards have fallen down. I have nothing left. But out. I wanted out.
I decided i was going to kill myself. I was going to take all my pills.
But then Jesus stepped in. I didnt die. I surrendered my life to Jesus to make me well and heal me.
The deity i blamed for me being abused wanted to heal me. He Was fighting for me and Loved me all along.
He wanted to love me. He wanted to give me His Heart.
HE LOVES ME. JESUS. LOVES. ME .
Jesus miraculously healed me - i am off all drugs and dont need them and i dont have any mental illnesses. I am totally healed , full of joy.
I’m now a born again Christian, in my 20’s who wants the entire world to know that JESUS WANTS TO HEAL YOU
HE. LOVES. YOU.
Your such an inspiration, thank you for using your knowledge to help others. ❤️
Love you Jazz ❤️❤️❤️
Hey jazz I was at shout conference this year in Auckland and I just wanna say that both times when you spoke were amazing and inspired me alot. I also wanna say that you are an amazing person and so beautiful. This last message is for everyone. You are an amazing human and the world is better with you in it, jesus loves you❤️❤️
Your such and inspiration to many young people I’m glad I can relate to someone through so many different ways. It would be so good if you could do a video about growing up throughout your childhood❤️
i love you so much Jazz❤️
You are one hell of a fighter!! Honestly love everything you do to help people today who struggle!! Truly moving ❤️
Thank you so much for an amazing video Jazz. I work as a nurse with child and adolescents with server mental health concerns and I always find it educational and inspiring to watch and listen to people like yourself talk about struggles with mental health and coming through them. I love like to know from the time you had with services like what I work in what you found helped from staff and what you did. Both in a ward like this and out in the community, if you ever decide to make a video on something like that it would be awesome :)
So inspiring, thank you for sharing your story and helping other people who are going through or who have gone through the same thing you have❤️❤️❤️
i was wondering if you had any information on ways to distract or other things to do instead of self harming. i’ve really been struggling with that and would love any help i could get!
keep everything up jazz! you’re definitely going to make a difference in this world!!!💜
Try getting some ice and squeezing it in your hand. It'll be a bit sore but at least it's not hurting you.
google DBT or buy a DBT book. The standard manuals have a list of about a hundred things.
Thank you for sharing your story, I watch your videos on Instagram and you inspire me to keep going! ❤
You make me want to live
I love listening to you talk so much Jazz. You give me so much strength and I’m finally starting to believe in myself thanks to you 💗
Thank you Jazz for another video ❤❤❤
Ur such an inspiration and help me so much x I’m so glad u got through ur dark time and are still here to this day ❤️ and I’m so proud of u on how far u have come and that ur helping others ur truly amazing and deserve the world ❤️ thank you jazz c
Your so amazing jazz and so strong!!!! ❤️
You’re such a big inspiration for me and you’re giving me so much hope and power to fight and not to give up. Thank you for everything!❣️❣️
you are walking proof that hope exists 💗
Thank you jazz for making these videos really inspiring🙏🏻
Could you do a video about the best things you learnt when you were in the psych ward (or just in general) that help with recovering 💛
I have been watching your vidios for a long tine (scine you started tictok) I was over life but the way you look at life really change my life and now your book is on the way and should be there next week. I’m sooooooo exited 🤩🤩🤩🤩
Hey Jazz, I admire the strength and passion you have toward mental health, Id like to share my story with you one day in hope you might have some good advice, the system hasn’t helped me and I’ve been in it for years now and I’m losing faith in myself and others, I really do hope you see this as you inspire me so much 💙
You are never alone Emma, Jesus is always near those in need. Lean on God and he will lead you though this.
I will be praying for you constantly to heal and to regain strength in moving ahead.
I love you so much and you’ve helped through so many tough times. I’m so glad that your here and I just want you to know that you’ve helped so many people out. How did it feel to be with adults much older than you in the ward with you?
The wards are why it isn’t a good idea for people to tell others about being suicidal a lot of the time
Meeting you at festival one this year was amazing❤️ I was just so shocked that I was finally meeting you i probably seemed like a bit of a weirdo😂. You are such an inspiration and I'm so happy that you exist❤️❤️❤️love ya😊
Hey Jazz you're awesome and a huge reason I still fight.☺
What did you do when you were in icu did you just sleep or was there something
To do there??
Thank you for everything
hi jazz, i know you posted this video a year ago so you probably wont see this but i have a question. when you were in the psych ward how did they know that when they let you go that you were still going to be safe, also did you believe that after being in the psych ward that you were better? i'm asking as im 14 and i've been close to going into one but im quite scared what would happened if i do. thankyou so much for sharing your story you are such an inspiration :) xx
Love you❤️
This isn't related to the psych ward but I was wondering what your journey on medication was or is like. I am 14 and have been on antidepressants for a year now and I want to know more about other people's journeys on meds
Me too!! I've been on them since 15 and it's so hard to find people to relate to about it
Me too for over 2.5 years now
Jazz... Do you know who to tell about suicidal through and self harm as I've only been doing serious sh for a couple months but it'd already destroyed my thighs completely. I've had suicidal thoughts for years and haven't told anyone. I think about it every day. Close to jumping twice. But I just don't know what to do. I made a plan to kms and the date is coming up but I can't get out of this shit life and that's the only way I can do it. And I'm only 11 ffs.
Love ujazz, u are strong and incredible,
2 years ago my then 13 year old was admitted to youth mental unit. I remember signing all the paper work for her. And sitting in a room with barley anything in it. I myself found it very overwhelming. My daughter was just dissociated at time of admission. I couldn't imagine how she felt. She spent 3 weeks in the unit. And has another 8 stays over the last 2 years.
There's a reason that psych wards don't tend to have much stuff in rooms / be pretty bare - they tend to deliberately try and make it a low stimulus environment - as that tends to be helpful for patients with psychosis or who are agitated etc. ( i.e. high stimulus environments with lots of stuff around /pictures on walls, etc can make psychosis worse). It can suck if you are suffering from other issues where you actually want/would benefit from some stimulation, but at the end of the day, the patients suffering psychosis tend to be the most unwell so it is fair enough. Ideally, if you live in a country with more beds /units available, you can get more specialised care. But e.g. in NZ, we don't really have that, so they have to try and cater for patients with all sorts of different diagnoses altogether in the same ward. It's basically an impossible task, and results in a far from ideal atmosphere for certain patients.
I've been in and out of the psych ward since i was 11 I'm 23. psych ward don't help me :( idk what does
Thank you for another video. I am incredibly thankful you are still here. What's it like being on an adult unit? Could you be more specific? I am 21 and have been in an adolescent psych ward, but never an adult one. I keep lying to everyone saying i'm safe when i'm not because I don't know anything about adult psych wards and the only thing I've heard about them is it's just like in the movies where people are screaming and violent and just awful things.
It really depends on what hospital and what ward. I've been in I think 9 different adult psych wards/hospitals (4 in the US, 5 in New Zealand). Most of the time it was pretty calm and positive environment. But it really depends /varies. And can also just depend on what patients are in the unit with you on any given day. Sometimes you might have one patient that is violent and kicks off everyday (usually they'll be transferred to a seclusion area though till they calm down). In my ten years of more or less living in adult psych wards, I got punched in the head about 4 times by patients. But other than that I felt safe most of the time (It was the staff who were far more violent than the patients in my experience).
I was also often the one making most of the noise when I'd get dysregulated, so I can't complain too much about others (And you get used to other patients having meltdowns etc pretty quickly and don't tend to get bothered by it, if you spend enough time in there). Overall, the vast majority of patients I would meet - even the most unwell ones - were pretty good company, and I formed a lot of friendships with my fellow 'frequent fliers'.
So inspiring ! Ilyyyy💕💕💕💕💕💕
When I was 14 i was almost taken to psych because of broken confidentiality and I was too scared to tell the truth so that I couldn’t go to psych but as I’ve felt more suicidal now, I feel like I will go in one day because of it but I’ve never been hospitalised for anything before
I’ve been through the unit tried to take my life they helped a lot with lots of therapy
Can we just turn up at the emergency department if we feel super unsafe and like your going to hurt ourselves?
I think so
I almost went to a psych ward. I got sent here because my phycologist thought I wasn’t safe. I was turned away which is a good thing I guess but it kinda hurt and was hard to realise that I wasn’t ok even tho I got turned away u know?
I just wanted to know if your meds made you gain weight. I’m going on new meds in a week and I’m terrified they’re going to make me gain weight. (I’m also struggling woth anorexia, more recovered now but still not good )
What were some of the things that the psychologist said to help you change your mindset? You are so brave
I know you say you still have bad days but how are they different from the ones that you had in the ICU. Btw I love you and your my inspiration ❤️❤️
How come the walls and floors are concrete? Cuz wouldnt people be able to like hit there heads on the walls?
I have a question after you got out of the psych word did you go back to self harming and 2 you said that when you where 12 you tried to end your life if you don't mind me asking how
I remember going in and they stripped me trying to look for every little scar I had. The psych ward did not help. It was more like a prison for me
the process of being admitted in NZ sounds amazing compared to the UK, you're very lucky the care that you got. As someone who is still on a psych ward, I am v inspired by you x
I would be too if I didnt have God in my life. I had severe anxiety. Pray to God and it will be so much better. You will be okay!
Sedona, count each day as a victory of overcoming yesterday. Jesus is always near those in need. Lean into God and he will lead you through. Praying for you for healing and strength❤️
i have been asking many ppl abt this but i currently have a therapist but idk how to tell her i sh cuz i don’t want my family to know
Hey lovely! Quick question - with the open psych ward do you have to have attempted to take your life to be admitted there or can you be admitted there with them thinking you're a danger to yourself, having suicidal thoughts, SH etc? xx
In New Zealand, even if you attempt suicide, you often won't get admitted (Even if you want to). We have so few psych beds that they are mostly reserved for people who are manic, psychotic or catatonically depressed. People with a BPD diagnoses rarely get a bed, and when they do, it's usually just short term. (I was somewhat of an exception in that regard, largely because it was cheaper to put me in the pscyh ward that leave me in the community due to the frequency and severity of my self-harm - it got to the point of needing general surgery pretty much every week, and some nights being the ED three times after they'd stitch me up, discharge me, and I'd just keep on self-harming). So in terms of open wards - you're lucky if you can even get a bed at all (if that's what you are after). If you do, it then can largely depend on where there's bed space. Or e.g. if it's your first time there and you are really suicidal, they'll probably put you in icu for a short period, then transfer you to the 'open wards' as soon as they can. The open wards aren't actually open though. They are still locked - they just aren't as intensive as the icu (i.e. lower staff/patient ratio, less restrictions in terms of safety, and so on). Though even if you are in the icu, though sometimes let you go use the facilities in the open ward anyway. (I used to be allowed to go play the piano).
The US is very different though - when I lived there, they would always admit me if I self-harmed. Even towards the end of my time living there where I no longer had insurance and was a foreigner. I never got charged a cent either, and the inpatient treatment was so much better than anywhere in NZ - even in the nj state hospital I eventually ended up in during my last time over there.
You are such an inspiration and have helped me get so far. How long do you stay in a psych ward for? Is it a certain amount of time or is it until they think your better? ❤️
What do you think about the fact that people with bpd often don't get admitted as part of the treatment to try and stop the "attention seeking" Behavior?
Thank you for your video ♥️ the Tumblr link doesn't work....
This might seem daft what’s the difference between physiatrist And psychologist
I’m pretty sure psychiatrists focus on medication aspects and diagnosing and they are medical doctors and psychologists are more focused on psychotherapy (talk therapy) to help patients.
Sarah W thank you
How do you watch the girl on the bridge in the UK?
Is this true? Different from my experience. Nothing to do with gang stalking?
(20y/o) Hi ❤️ You are the strongest I know in the whole world ❤️ You are my role model now ❤️ I try to talk about mental health in Norway, because it is the most important thing for me because of what I have experienced ❤️
You are so beautiful and good dear, and I am so proud of how far you have come today❤️ One day you will get a hug from my babe
Did you meet anyone in the ward or did you keep to yourself?
how do you do your daily tasks in a psych ward?
Also how did you interact with people in a psych ward?
I love u so much when is your movie coming out
I have been thinking about going.
how would you suggest getting admitted?
I support you ❤❤
You are absolutely beautiful ❤️
i know this vid is like 2yrs old but when you say you would try to hurt yourself do you mean like attempting or sh? if you arent comfortable sharing no problem! lots of love :)
Are you still posting UA-cam videos??
Is it hard looking back at your past??
i have never been to a physc ward but i have a question for you jazz.
in the open physc ward can you have your phone?
Depends on the hospital policy, but most mental health wards don’t allow it
If yenomi park north korean defector can upload more videos then so can you
Were you put under the act at that time? If so, how’d you feel when they first discussed it with you.
Massage chairs!!! Did you use them a lot I would
How did you overcome feelings of guilt and shame when talking about your mental health journey? I know the only way to break the stigma surrounding mental health is to talk about it, but I feel almost embarrassed to share my story with others.
This doesn’t have anything to do with the psych ward, but what was your journey like mentoring people through hard times
I love you.
I DM you a bunch of questions on insta
Psych in your country sounds very different...
It’s very difficult in NZ to the USA. I experienced 4 psych hospitals in the US, and 4 in NZ. (Long ago lost count of how many actual admissions). Usa will admit pretty much anyone if they think they are a risk to yourself, cos they risk getting sued. Even if you have no insurance. US Hospitals tend to also be more strict eg my first time in a US hospital I was basically strip searched. Where as in Auckland (same hospital she’s talking about here) one time when i was admitted, the police had brought me in and told the staff i had a lighter in my pocket. Staff then dragged me into the hdu/seclusion area (the concrete area she refers to. Or she might be talking about the garage). Then left me in there alone. I did what you’d easily predict someone in that mental state to do with a lighter when they are locked alone. Got prettu burnt. But overall had a lot of good and bad experiences in nz and US. But US was generally better. In NZ they would admit me for selfharming but then just leave me to selfharm on the ward. (One time they left me to bleed out till eventually I went into hypovolemic shock. I was begging them to call ambulance cos I knew I was dying and had lost more blood than all the other 20+ times I’d needed a blood transfusion. I was struggling to breathe for a good 20mins before they finally rechecked my vital signs and were like, oh shit…If they’d waited much longer i literally would have died and I wasn’t even suicidal. Just selfharmed too deep). Whereas in the US, the few times I managed to find something to self harm deeply with, the staff freaked out when they found me and would immediately call a code and get me on oxygen etc and then rush me to the ED). Nz also frequently just doesn’t admit high risk people and will literally tell them they are ‘mentally competent’ enough to be allowed to kill themselves if they want to. As an uninsured foreigner living in the US, I had a lot better treatment than what nz psych wards offer (if they even admit you at all). My best mental hospital experience was actually a state hospital in trenton, nj. Spent a few months there before flying home to nz. (And being discharged). And the state of nj even paid for 2 nurses to accompany on my flight home ! Nz definitely doesn’t do that lol. US hospitals also tend to offer my therapy/treatment. Nz psych wards u basically just get given medication and left to sleep /watch tv all day.
You’re gorgeous
How are you doing
...
I've been in a psyc ward and I was terrified too
Omg it youuuuu
God bless that she didn't succeed suicide but I ask my self how it is possible not to succeed suicide 14 times. It seems that there are different types of suicide those who scream for help and those who want to finish the suffering.