Your programs should be made mandatory in high achools and colleges. Also, JUDGES should be well educated in these people so that the many families affected by them can get away from them and get peace and healing without repeated victimization and the loss of one whole side of their families with lies.
@@Sel817 I’m so sorry you went through that. My mother whispered evil into my husband and daughters ears and he left me and stole my daughter. My mother and Golden Child brother helped him. She’s dead now and he divorced me so my daughter and I are back together. The trauma of losing her (daughter) has ruined my health and he also brainwashed most of my family against me. I am free now and pray for the many to get healed. My mother will have to answer for her evil on judgement day. A narcissistic Mother will always be a narcissistic Grandmother and will poison your children against you. If your mother was a Narcissist (or father) do not let them have contact. If you feel you must, severely limit it. She will destroy your family
Oh yeah the lack of supply and or the loss of it is what usually send a narcissist in a tailspin of rage. They are not to be taken lightly and can become very dangerous when they feel they are loosing control. It's like wrestling with a wet alley cat or a pittbul. They have no remorse and will fight to the end..This particular narcissist has been skillful at securing supply for the last twenty five years and it became easier due to social media. He is very abusive and often times physical with his female victims mostly after securing them with his love bombing. A few months later after locking them in the devaluation begins and gaslihghting followed by projection. Then he goes silent just before discard but mind U if the female decides to leave while in his presence he becomes violent after the bogus apologies don't work anymore. This guy came close to killing his first wife by way of stranguling her three times throughout the night to unconciousness with his bare hands just because she wanted to escape his cruel devaluation and projection of what he was doing onto her. Luckily she was able to send a code to her mother on the phone to call the police. She skip town after he was prosecuted and convicted spending five years in prison. He repeated the same cycle with other women and I have witnessed him going from one woman to the next using his charm and external looks to lure them in for the kill and the relationshit only lasted about year or possibly two and some longer if he was able to hoover them back into the herem. And lots of women are into the bad boy type who display confidence and tattoos without question or background checks. He has been in and out of jail for assualt and domestic violence driving without a licence believing he is invisible never caring about consequences and not to mention he drives like a maniac which is also his character at times raging on his nearest and dearest trying oh so hard to instill the fear with threats. He would target mostly girls who were vulnerable lonely looking for love in all the wrong places. He secured a very beautiful girl a few years ago and he was starting to devalue her 4 to 6 months into it when a week or so later another guy was coming on to her and he flipped a lid beating this guy to pulp leaving him in a pool of blood call himself honoring his woman. Luckily for him the guy survived but couldn't remember what happened due to his concusion. He was arrested but let go because she didn't testify but instead she skip town never to be seen again and who can blame her after witnessing what she witness and begging him to stop. ..Im thinking she went back home to the kids whom loves her unconditionally she left behind to come meet up with him upon meeting on facebook. Now that he is aging his options are somewhat limited and he senses this which is why he is raging moreso to ease his fragile ego. HIs charm doesn't work as well unless they are younger and more naive possibly on drugs. Any attention rather good or bad will do for the narc to feel they exist. He is now in trouble for assault and abduction of his latest victim he assauted in a car in which she was driver to ease his fears of the cops from not having a license and Once she decided to walk away after an argument he decided to chase her down knocking her to the ground and dragging her back by her coat across the cement street not even caring that her pants came down scarring her buttocks for life. He then abducted her and was apprehended by cops the next day and arrested. The courts usually give him a pat on the back giving him no more than a few months for probation violation and or a few years. So he is in a boatload of trouble this time and he is lucky that he didn't kill her. But this is what it's coming to. With all his enemies he will either get kill or kill someone. He never have any remorse for what he does and no empathy. It's always some else fault for his vile behavior.
I started studying narcissism over 30 years ago. I recognized with my first intimate relationship, I was living what I had learned. Scoured the book shelves looking for answers as to what the Hell was I dealing with. Read M. Scott Pecks books. The People of the Lie being one. Being raised by two narcissists that bounced against the psychopathy border. What a trip it has been! 0-8 The Golden Child, 8-20’s the Lost Child, 20’s till 40 the Scapegoat. My reading and your reinforcing videos have me fully educated or as much as possible. I had a very fulfilling non drama laden marriage of 20 years. The marriage ended in my wife’s death in 2018 from cancer. Living a quiet fulfilling life of self care and self love now. Thank you Sam. I feel I can use your first name as a friend. Thank you Stephen.
Prof. Sam...You have just explained my deceased narc husband's end of life. Thank you for the insight. His explosion was hard to watch. Will no longer feel as though I failed. But thankful that I survived through my faith Grace and strength were imparted to me by The Lord each day to maintain peace in my soul.
Time to know that God is real and you're not God. You did not create this planet and ALL the universe. Most narcs are atheist but want to take the place of God. Time to stop that FANTASY!@@irielion3748
After 32 years of marriage, my husband’s fantasy (with some trash in another city that didn’t mind being a dirty little secret), and reality crashed. When his cancer spread and he needed me to take care of him for the last 4 months of his life. He tried to make amends but can you ever believe a pathological liar? So sad all the way around, if he were still alive, my torture would be ongoing
@@melordinvestments1076 well, I didn’t mention all the abuses, manipulations, deceptions, public humiliation, financial abuse, ghosting, and finally, the discard
Listening to this has made me sick! They are miserable personality disorders. It is a painful condition for themselves and for the people who get closer in their life. Perfectly explained.
The narcissist I was dating for four years, kept my own place because I knew something not right…Called me out of the blue after 10 years when his aunt died. I had left him and stop taking calls. It took him 10 years to call and say he had been thinking about me and wanted to get together, used his aunt is an excuse because he knew I liked her. 10 years? Seriously? I thought wow he is really digging deep for a narcissistic supply. Sad
I kept civil relationships with my ex in-laws and they reached out. He'll use them and discard them like he's had time and time again. But they won't give up because he's family. I feel sorry for them all.
Last July, 33 years had passed and up pops a message on FB. Hi how are you.😂.. been the best 33 years of my life. Fully developed his narcissism, has 3 adult children. 1 saw through him and left, married a guy he hates and had a baby, his wife is his main supply, and he travels to the Philippines for sex and fake friendships, Travels to Dubai as a big shot business man, drinks like a fish and has sex with anyone that gives him attention but but but he misses me.😂😂..jog on! I ain't no one's bit on the side. A walking STD...
Doc..your subject should be introduced in schools. It's so important to understand why some people (narcissistics) function the way they do. It would save so much suffering. Only respect from India.
The schizoid malignant narcissist is by far the saddest creature that roams the earth. I am witness to the disintegration of such an individual. I’ve stopped praying for him which I think is a paralleled experience of such sadness. My heart breaks. He is such a beautiful person beyond this evil.
I listen to all of your videos and feel like I’m attending University of Dr. Sam Vaknin. I learn more from you than I did in my master’s degree in counseling regarding issues of personality. I experienced a relationship with a narcissist who presented as covert. Both at the end of and after I ended the relationship his behaviors were sociopathic and he broke the law multiple times to try and harm me - all the while telling me he was justified in doing so. I was bullied, yet felt sorry for him because of his childhood abuse. It was your video that said that someone behaving this way needed to be held accountable to the highest extent of the law and I wasn’t the one to help him. Hearing that helped me to fight for and finally be successful in getting a restraining order against him. I have spent the past few years, single, looking at my own contribution to the relationship so I could change, improve my boundaries and be a healthier person as I consider myself responsible for learning from this in order to do better. My question is - if someone can become APD in response to loss of narcissistic supply then weren’t they always APD? I’m in America but agree more with the ICD dx of personality issues having a lot of overlap between what we consider here to be specific cluster B diagnoses. Often when I listen to your videos I hear elements of the behavior I saw across multiple diagnoses. You are brilliant and I am grateful for all I have learned and continue to learn from you. Thank you Dr. Vaknin.
Sam there is not a single person on YT who can explain the mind of all these personality and mental disorders as well as you can. The 3 N in my life, derailed completely and it was very painful for me to witness the death of 2 of them who died from alcohol related complications and the 3rd is going down the same road. Its still very sad for me to see. But I truly thank you for putting me on the right track. I now live peacefully, happily, healthy and free of all CPTSD symptoms THANK YOU. 🙏
The reason I say HG does a better job is because when I was in the midst of devaluation, I could have digested the material easier and maybe got myself out before I was set up, arrested and now fighting false accusations of DV
@@JasonGoldstein78 Its important to connect with someone you resonate with. If HG is the person I am glad you are gaining all the knowledge you need to live a happy life.
I call it the "end game" of narcissism. It's quite terrifying and it's best to keep a safe distance. Murder/suicide is a real problem, yes they can take you down with them. Beware!
Incredibly insightful. I only recently became aware of how much narcissism was present in my own family. This video described the last 4 years of life of my elderly aunt, who, unmarried and the last surviving member of her large family, experienced this drying up of supply and progressively disintegrated. She went the implosion route you describe - withdrawal, bitter disappointment over everything, paranoia (she couldn't make friends or socialize because she thought everyone would try to steal her stuff), constant talk of wishing to die, etc. Now I can see what was going on, but at the time I had no idea how to react. I kept trying to talk her into a better frame of mind; even if I'd known what was happening, I probably wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. Oddly enough, she left my sister and me a large amount of money in her will and had distributed a lot of money to other relatives a few years before. It's as if she gave up on living life while she had it in favour of a sort of posthumous existence - as if she'd be guaranteed our love and appreciation after she was dead. It's too bad; she had so many talents, but just let everything lapse in her old age.
You have described my own inner experience unfolding gradually, daily, even minute by minute. This concretization of processes matches my self observation of my own collapse and its process. I am grateful, at least, to been seen and understood through your analysis and description. I realize I am using this video as supply, just as you describe in my desperation to garner supply by becoming the center of my attention.
that makes two of us. I am in the middle of blowing a Grandiosity Bubble as I type. I am in a motel at a beach resort. Convinced I can reinvent myself at 71 years old. Sam is describing me with hard to believe accuracy and detail. But amazing to me is I am not fearful. I accept I am flawed. I am doing the best I can.
@Gold Tau Yes, I am. Trauma came regularly to our family in many forms. Mother gave a child away at birth to a Catholic orphanage. That guilt and her personality disorder created physical sickness in the form of migraine headaches that manifested into various cancers and ailments. My father knee not how to help her and he became a alcoholic unable to earn enough to sustain his family. My sister and I were left to care for our ill mother as 9 and 7 year Olds. She would pass out on the toilet and my sister would hold her head as I waaved smelling salts under her nose to revive her awake. Then we would wipe her, clean her and drag her to bed. Afterwards my older sister opened some green beans in a can or whatever we had and we would sit and share in silence. As a adult I became my father and sank into my own dependency issues with drugs and alcohol. I am now 36 years sober and father to 4 children. I have worked intensely to heal and recover from hopelessness and dysfunction. 72 years old I attend psychotherapy weekly as I peel the layers of my denial away to try to uncover my true self. Trauma leaves stains on the soul that darken the light of day. I have learned to not embrace anger, sadness or the numbing crush of loneliness by communicating my fear to those I love It is very hard work. But the payoff is beauty and love. I choose change over the death of unresolved trauma.
My Narcissistic person accidentally took acid, in that acid trip he was encountered with some sort of ego destroyed. After that acid trip he was happier, was more receptive to other peoples needs, he was patient and sometimes genuinely kind, he had changed, but after 2020 I think the stress of that year made him go back to what he used to be. We broke up
That’s crazy, I’ve actually been wondering if psychedelics would help them. There are many positive results from psychedelics like breaking neuropathways, I think in a controlled environment with therapists there can be amazing outcomes
What you describe as the self destruction is what I've experienced with my brother...he is hell bent on self abuse..crying out for attention... I could not help in the end I was forced to give up. But I say this, to see a person abandon his mental and physical health is the hardest thing I've had to do...an d to be sure I'm still not sure how a person can get to this stage...so desperate... desolate...it's the saddest thing and possibly in my brother's case...the end game. Thank you Sam your knowledge is profound in its truth, and yes it helps.
I cant believe this topic is the one unexplored by me through the years. As the beloved narcisstic in my life of 11 years took his life a month ago, on the heels of this exact summary of this video. Thank you Sam, for showing me the truth about something so hard to witness.
The professor is the real deal , I wish I knew all this years ago , I can now put the jigsaw together and understand the dynamics the first step to healing.
I couldn’t make TikTok’s or have a public music playlist without the narc thinking it was about them because of the “soul tie” concept. “Music was soul communication” kind of stuff. Still waiting for his delusion to pop; however, I’m happy it’s not a shared fantasy.
I feel like narcs will never get to this point because there will always be supply … family will always be their supply and family members will never hold them accountable
Thank you Sam, love interacting with you..... feel like you are a friend, since we've been together the past 5 years, and by taking your advice, listening, and acting.... I am now free.
@@MissNancy 💜 I'm 62 - and starting over- Now I'm a minimalist 😊, have very little - lost the lot, however, I do have my sanity and freedom, and an abuse free future.
Amazing insights. My former husband displayed multiple examples of these behaviors. When I finally started standing up to him 10 years ago, his disintegration process began. It was a terrible sight to behold.
That's interesting. My partner doesn't seem to have the ability to reason things through to a logical conclusion. He seems to live in cognitive chaos. Like a headless chicken running around, the body is moving but there's no one at home.
I think this describes personality collapse in general. Abandonment and loneliness. Not only applicable to narcissists. And all humans need bubbles and fantasies to survive and create identity. I think it this form it is misleading as showcasing these experiences as unique experiences of NPDs. It is a bit scapegoating the pain on the narcissistic condition. But it it is just how humans react to complete rejection.
I just had this same thought. Where is the line drawn between a “normal” individual and a narcissist. Sam describes the nuances of the human condition, which despite being pathological, are nonetheless innately human.
Listening to your comprehensive description of narcissistic behavior was indeed time well spent. I happen to be dealing with a neighbor who imo is a classic narcissist; ie the neighbor from hell. I fear I will have to sell my home and move to get away from her ever increasing vicious behavior. I can see that she is reacting to a lack of narcissistic supply. Your description of the extreme cases reminds me of Howard Hughs who became an extreme recluse despite his wealth. I believe he starved himself to death.
Howard Hughes had had several BAD plane crashes, plus mega stress from government committees probing his business auditing everything. The average person would struggle with any one of those things let alone all of them.
Thank you, Doctor Vaknin for your time and effort in putting together all of these wealth of information on your YT channel (esp for those of us who unconsciously subjected ourselves to the abuse/manipulation) for us. It took me 15y of confusion and heartache to understand what was making me feel very sick, leading to my clinical diagnosis of chronic depression in January 2019. After watching several of your videos, I educated myself about narcissism. What a world of difference this has made for me. Thank you, again.
When I first met him he would want to pick a fight for no reason with anyone and everyone 😮 I was covertly gaslit, triangulated and neglected which led me losing 4 kilos over 4.5 months before I discarded him.
My former Narcissistic spouse resented the time I devoted to our 2 children, as he saw it as a depletion of his supply. Subsequently, he engaged in an emotional affair. At divorce proceedings, he tried to gaslight me into thinking it was MY fault the affair happened @ all. :/
I really feel your information and love your videos. I really think my ex is bpd but shows lots of npd traits. The only reason i say this is because of the sudden mood swings that would happen and how she would wake up feeling. She would go out of her way for ppl to do kind deeds without ever seeing these ppl agsin or gaining anything in return but alot of her moods, words, justifications, blame shifting blame and demaning validation openly expressing needy, selfish etc and im still not sure what i delt with
Some of this is stuff a lot of victims suffer from though. At one point even Complex P-TSD is mentioned as something this kind of Narc suffers from. Without a clear differential between the behaviour patterns of the Narcissist and the ego damaged, traumatized victim- particularly scapegoats of Narc parental abuse- how is any victim - many of us having to isolate to avoid being abused- to avoid pathologisation as a narcissist? Now even a victim committing suicide fits that mould. How can we possibly discern, or expect psychiatric practitioners to discern? Forgive me I think as ever it's a very informative and educational video. And you may have covered this differentiation problem in an earlier video I don't see them all. Now the profiles are getting SO close, how do we differentiate between damaged survivors and narcissists? I'm hoping you'll say it's the supply. Neither I or any survivors I know have a form of supply, and lack sadistic characteristics. (That doesn't mean a perfect or always convivial personality but not a SADISTIC one). Don't know if you'll see this.
Thank you for this comment. Having been the victim of a narc boyfriend for over seven years, I spent half this video wondering if I was a collapsed narcissist. And I will admit going through two periods of covert narcissism when I was younger, one episode being right after the death of my dad and after suffering at the hands of a narc sociopathic ex-husband and more than likely histrionic mother. I think you answered your own query with your last paragraph. In my personal situation, I'm not about slapping indiscriminate labels on people, but I've spent inordinate amounts of time just wondering- Why? What happened, how did I get here, and what can I do to avoid the same or similar outcome again? Also, I think steps toward Jesus help in a way that I don't have words for, just a hope that maybe faith will get me through
I totally agree with this thought. I came to the realization that I was born into a Narcissistic family system. After much research I’ve come to realize that I exhibit a lot of relational habits that are similar to what I saw growing up. I think it’s dangerous to take on the woe is me it’s all their fault mindset in recovery as it will not allow for us to examine our own flaws and work to truly break these horrible cycles. So I don’t consider myself an empath or a victim. That has paved the way for me to realize how much of this behavioral leprosy rubs off on anyone that comes from that type of background.
If the bubbles are rare, I wonder if high numbers of people formed these online to make up for lack of usual forms of supply during covid as a coping mechanism? In the UK, elements of our physical social distancing conditions were named as bubbles coincidently! This explanation does makes sense
I got my narcissistic ex so far that he wanted to try to do a MMPI test, but there is nowhere I can find a place where such a test can be done without having to sign up for multiple sessions of therapy. These tests should be just available for anybody! I feel let down by the field of mental healthcare.
Instantly gratifying in the best Vaknin tradition. 😁 Oh Professor Sam, once again your sparkling vocab and delivery cracks me up... whatever the topic for the day. 🧚♀️
Withdraws from reality, adopts delusional or psychotic disorder, omg I’ve seen this before these people can’t deal with reality, I could see the collapse as they were being evicted & yet this person laughed & act as if it wasn’t happening, delusional you’re being evicted
Hi Sam, thank you for these enlightening videos!! You provide the explanations to help targeted victims/survivors understand our experiences. Thank you again for your awesome endorsement and for writing the Foreword to my first book of my now 5-book series on Domestic Violence, Narcissistic Abuse and Parental Alienation: “TRUE DECEIT FALSE LOVE”😃🙏🏼💕📚✏️📖 Book 1 notes 15,555 terms & phrases, many of which YOU coined and added to the literature. It seems new verbiage is being created daily!!! Many new words are stated in this video!!!
You perfectly have categorized and made made sense of describing my life and family. Would CPSD/ dialectical behavior therapy help with coping through the dis regulation self esteem flagellation? Is there any type of therapy that can help with Schizoid disorder ?
Is there any hope whatsoever? Is there a final point where the narcissist gives up and seeks therapy? If he seeks therapy is there hope to live at least a somewhat normal life? This is awful
The description of the paranoid narsasist sounds similar to how one might feel after being a victim of a narsasistic relationship. How do I distinguish wheather I'm the narsasist or the victim of one?
What effects would antipsychotic medication have on paranoid or schizoid narcissists? Are such narcissists born out of the same essence (or partly) as non narcissists with cluster A personality disorders?
Can someone tell me if there is a video in this channel that can explain how a narsisist reacts in front of his resposability in a trail? Or how it is seen/lived by a narsisist when must live through a period of trial when his actions are brought to trail, thank you.
I dumped the narc ex and then contacted his ex wife to find out how crazy he was. He spins this story claiming she paid me to date him and break his heart. His second story is I work for the cia and was trying to recruit him for a human intelligence experiment. 🤣🤣
Yes they will go to whatever length they feel will get you to worship them. A Australian SS soldier, a private Chinese triad contactor...A James Bond.. the Web just keeps spinning.
Can a collapsed narcissist utilize a combination of these solutions simultaneously or do they typically adapt one at a time. Alternatively, can they cycle from one solution to another over a short period of time? How long does the collapse typically last?
Thanks for this enlightening video. Is there a way to help/ make react a narcissist? From the distance, I know it is not my role…but feel so powerless. It makes me sad.
I told the narcissist that i don't want contact and he said he will respect my wishes. He has not contacted me since. What does this mean? Can someone explain this to me?
It’s time to rebuild your self. It’s almost impossible to silence the narcissist in your mind. Start by reminding yourself what you are and what you like. Small ways in the beginning. I like to smell flowers and smell them and say I like that and it’s good. Whatever you are good at and like use that to get in touch with yourself. Remind yourself how you are good and what that good is
This is so much information, I may have to watch it again. I have a stalker literally right next door, he is 77 and recently started following me in his truck! I'm not sure what to think about him, and I don't know if it is narcissism or what?! He shows up in my path and tries to follow me on the property where my apartment complex is. I'm shocked at how someone of his age would do this, much less have the energy??
Sam would you say that narcissistic collapse is similar to the hypomania of BiPolar ? it's seeming that way to my experience of an ex relationship. Thankyou
Is there a way for us to get better? I can tell I’m utilizing the antisocial solution. I don’t want to keep destroying everything. My partner thinks I need to stop seeking supply in order to get better, but I can’t stand feeling like this.
Is there any hope for the narcissist to recover or come out of this pattern? Is there any hope for them to understand these things and learn to behave in a more normal way?
Hello Dr. Vaknin, Just wanted to mention that I’m a huge fan of your work. I’d finished reading your book on Narcissism - Malignant Self-Love when I was 19 years old - so by now - I’d had some time to think and ponder about your book’s impressive academic input and expertise on the subject of Narcissism. Anyways- i had arrived at this one question: is there any kind of connection or overlap between somatic version of NPD and HPD - especially things like hedonism sexual narcissism and even hypochondriac kind of behaviour? I’ve thought of that for some time and wanted to ask for your opinion about it! Thank you for your educational input on UA-cam! Great channel!
What about when a narcissist is exposed, suffers massive injury . Then suddenly syarts sobbing saying " I'm so ashamed" admits to feeling of shame. Does that mean not a narcissist?
I know that I made friends with many of my friend's mothers in a subconscious search for an alternative mother as I think my own mother who is now disceased fit the type for borderline personality disorder. She leaned heavily on me to care for her but abused me constantly for not living up to her imagined ideal daughter. Fortunately I was able to bond with an aunt who loved me and nourished my need for validation. I think she helped me when I needed it. I don't blame my mother as she had a sad back story. I have never seen myself as a victim or for that matter a heroic survivor. Life hasn't been easy for me but there has always been in my spirit a certain authenticity. I don't feel empty but there have been times when I've felt a bit lost. Mostly I manage to muddle along and I always think hard trying to find realistic solutions to my problems. As a child I suffered from severe eczema and by my teens learned to do what I could to help my skin look better and accept that I could never wear make up or synthetic clothing. I once overheard an adult call me disfigured. Thus was at church by the way. If I heard such things I'd not take it in for more than a second yet it taught me not to trust adults or ask them for help. Later in life I had to learn who to trust and who not to trust.
When a drug addict undergoes cold turkey, for long periods of time, this might lead to him getting over his drug habit. Could this happen to someone with regards to narcissistic supply?
@@shannakellett9104 I know this question was very tactless.... But here, in Germany, where I live, it is not that easy, to get in possesion of a hand gun.... One would have to jump off a cliff, or before a train, or something of this nature.... So it would make it much "harder" to kill oneself (and with that, to retreat from reality), I think....
@@fredifeinkost1985 It’s okay to ask questions when it comes to this subject Fredi, no matter where you live. He was 39 years old- Michael looked like a real Greek god. So beautiful so charming and witty and … I could go on- I had left him in Georgia and moved away as far as I could near Los Angeles.. for a year and a half he called, begged, showed out, and unbeknownst to me, had attempted suicide 3 times in 6 months. He would call me 50-60 times a day - which I answered each one with love and kindness because that’s how I am. On June 29th 2020 I hung up the phone and I now know he walked into his mom’s bedroom- got her 38 walked into the woods beside the house and shot 2 times. They found him 3 days later. According to family, he was planning to shoot me and then himself- murder suicide. Thank Jesus Christ I’m still here and trying to warn others about this real demonic spirit that’s taking over these days. Whew! Godspeed my German friend
@@shannakellett9104 This is far worse, than I had expected...thank you for the insight, and thanks to Jesus Christ... Lives and souls should be saved. Frohe Weihnachten!
En tant que mère, je constate que pour sauver mon fils d’une dérive terriblement néfaste pour lui-même (parce qu’aujourd’hui je le devine narcissique - il a à 26 ans) , je devrais toujours nourrir son narcissisme .. ?! c’est terrible ! .. parce que j’ai souffert moi-même d’un mari narcissique (covert malignant sadique) que j’ai finalement quitté après trente ans .. et en plus d’avoir moi-même subi un père médecin chirurgien narcissique (overt).. je sais les reconnaître tous .. et je suis tellement triste de reconnaître la pathologie de mon fils. Est-ce toujours à cause d’une mère défaillante (moi codependante) où l’on peut dire aussi que c’est dans les gènes …? Merci de me référer à l’une de vos videos qui pourraient éclairer ma lanterne. Portez-vous bien et merci cher maître de vos lumières.
Why always refer to the narcissist as male ? Can you tell me as fact which sex boasts the higher percentage of narcissism please ? I suspect it is male but would like to know for sure.
The only time they feel shame is when they don’t distract themselves. This I believe is why they cannot be alone. I always saw his absence as a independent self confident person, only NOT knowing what he was really doing behind closed doors. I believe his grandma knew what he was up to. Which isn’t normal, he has a very max dysfunctional family. They all act as if they need each other. It doesn’t get any weirder than that. When his grandma dies that’s when things will be scary for him and his life. He will be scrambling to find a supply to knock up and trap. He more than likely needs a housewife to do his laundry, clean his room, cook his food and give him Sex. It’s all so weird. It’s hard to wrap your head around such a lifestyle, BUT THIS IS WHO THEY ACTUALLY ARE.😵💫😵💫😵💫
My sister was born that way. Probably a genetic trait passed down through the generations. However others say that it’s due to a child being spoilt during childhood or neglected.
Your programs should be made mandatory in high achools and colleges. Also, JUDGES should be well educated in these people so that the many families affected by them can get away from them and get peace and healing without repeated victimization and the loss of one whole side of their families with lies.
Indeed !!!
My father put me thru hell in last 30 years. My sister is now same as he... Plus having children... More are coming
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@@Sel817 I’m so sorry you went through that. My mother whispered evil into my husband and daughters ears and he left me and stole my daughter. My mother and Golden Child brother helped him. She’s dead now and he divorced me so my daughter and I are back together. The trauma of losing her (daughter) has ruined my health and he also brainwashed most of my family against me. I am free now and pray for the many to get healed. My mother will have to answer for her evil on judgement day.
A narcissistic Mother will always be a narcissistic Grandmother and will poison your children against you. If your mother was a Narcissist (or father) do not let them have contact. If you feel you must, severely limit it. She will destroy your family
Oh yeah the lack of supply and or the loss of it is what usually send a narcissist in a tailspin of rage. They are not to be taken lightly and can become very dangerous when they feel they are loosing control. It's like wrestling with a wet alley cat or a pittbul. They have no remorse and will fight to the end..This particular narcissist has been skillful at securing supply for the last twenty five years and it became easier due to social media. He is very abusive and often times physical with his female victims mostly after securing them with his love bombing. A few months later after locking them in the devaluation begins and gaslihghting followed by projection. Then he goes silent just before discard but mind U if the female decides to leave while in his presence he becomes violent after the bogus apologies don't work anymore. This guy came close to killing his first wife by way of stranguling her three times throughout the night to unconciousness with his bare hands just because she wanted to escape his cruel devaluation and projection of what he was doing onto her. Luckily she was able to send a code to her mother on the phone to call the police. She skip town after he was prosecuted and convicted spending five years in prison. He repeated the same cycle with other women and I have witnessed him going from one woman to the next using his charm and external looks to lure them in for the kill and the relationshit only lasted about year or possibly two and some longer if he was able to hoover them back into the herem. And lots of women are into the bad boy type who display confidence and tattoos without question or background checks. He has been in and out of jail for assualt and domestic violence driving without a licence believing he is invisible never caring about consequences and not to mention he drives like a maniac which is also his character at times raging on his nearest and dearest trying oh so hard to instill the fear with threats. He would target mostly girls who were vulnerable lonely looking for love in all the wrong places. He secured a very beautiful girl a few years ago and he was starting to devalue her 4 to 6 months into it when a week or so later another guy was coming on to her and he flipped a lid beating this guy to pulp leaving him in a pool of blood call himself honoring his woman. Luckily for him the guy survived but couldn't remember what happened due to his concusion. He was arrested but let go because she didn't testify but instead she skip town never to be seen again and who can blame her after witnessing what she witness and begging him to stop. ..Im thinking she went back home to the kids whom loves her unconditionally she left behind to come meet up with him upon meeting on facebook. Now that he is aging his options are somewhat limited and he senses this which is why he is raging moreso to ease his fragile ego. HIs charm doesn't work as well unless they are younger and more naive possibly on drugs. Any attention rather good or bad will do for the narc to feel they exist. He is now in trouble for assault and abduction of his latest victim he assauted in a car in which she was driver to ease his fears of the cops from not having a license and Once she decided to walk away after an argument he decided to chase her down knocking her to the ground and dragging her back by her coat across the cement street not even caring that her pants came down scarring her buttocks for life. He then abducted her and was apprehended by cops the next day and arrested. The courts usually give him a pat on the back giving him no more than a few months for probation violation and or a few years. So he is in a boatload of trouble this time and he is lucky that he didn't kill her. But this is what it's coming to. With all his enemies he will either get kill or kill someone. He never have any remorse for what he does and no empathy. It's always some else fault for his vile behavior.
I started studying narcissism over 30 years ago. I recognized with my first intimate relationship, I was living what I had learned. Scoured the book shelves looking for answers as to what the Hell was I dealing with. Read M. Scott Pecks books. The People of the Lie being one. Being raised by two narcissists that bounced against the psychopathy border. What a trip it has been! 0-8 The Golden Child, 8-20’s the Lost Child, 20’s till 40 the Scapegoat. My reading and your reinforcing videos have me fully educated or as much as possible. I had a very fulfilling non drama laden marriage of 20 years. The marriage ended in my wife’s death in 2018 from cancer. Living a quiet fulfilling life of self care and self love now. Thank you Sam. I feel I can use your first name as a friend. Thank you Stephen.
Prof. Sam...You have just explained my deceased narc husband's end of life. Thank you for the insight. His explosion was hard to watch. Will no longer feel as though I failed. But thankful that I survived through my faith
Grace and strength were imparted to me by The Lord each day to maintain peace in my soul.
I can't help feeling you are swapping the narc illusion for faith. Time to move on from fantasies.
Time to know that God is real and you're not God. You did not create this planet and ALL the universe. Most narcs are atheist but want to take the place of God. Time to stop that FANTASY!@@irielion3748
After 32 years of marriage, my husband’s fantasy (with some trash in another city that didn’t mind being a dirty little secret), and reality crashed. When his cancer spread and he needed me to take care of him for the last 4 months of his life. He tried to make amends but can you ever believe a pathological liar? So sad all the way around, if he were still alive, my torture would be ongoing
Cheating is not the definition of a narcissist....I could be...but not just because he cheated
@@melordinvestments1076 well, I didn’t mention all the abuses, manipulations, deceptions, public humiliation, financial abuse, ghosting, and finally, the discard
Listening to this has made me sick! They are miserable personality disorders. It is a painful condition for themselves and for the people who get closer in their life.
Perfectly explained.
The narcissist I was dating for four years, kept my own place because I knew something not right…Called me out of the blue after 10 years when his aunt died. I had left him and stop taking calls. It took him 10 years to call and say he had been thinking about me and wanted to get together, used his aunt is an excuse because he knew I liked her. 10 years? Seriously? I thought wow he is really digging deep for a narcissistic supply. Sad
That's sad. They are such sad people
I kept civil relationships with my ex in-laws and they reached out. He'll use them and discard them like he's had time and time again. But they won't give up because he's family. I feel sorry for them all.
Narcs will use anything to get their supply! Wow
Last July, 33 years had passed and up pops a message on FB. Hi how are you.😂.. been the best 33 years of my life. Fully developed his narcissism, has 3 adult children. 1 saw through him and left, married a guy he hates and had a baby, his wife is his main supply, and he travels to the Philippines for sex and fake friendships, Travels to Dubai as a big shot business man, drinks like a fish and has sex with anyone that gives him attention but but but he misses me.😂😂..jog on! I ain't no one's bit on the side. A walking STD...
As long as his mother is alive, he will
Have supply
Doc..your subject should be introduced in schools. It's so important to understand why some people (narcissistics) function the way they do. It would save so much suffering. Only respect from India.
We re 37th in the world, you must be kidding!? Trust me every npd and bpd wld copy words and use against the victim more!!!!!!!!! Geez
My aware mom taught me tons.
Grad school. Probably best fit. Remember there are many counselors in cosmos.
The schizoid malignant narcissist is by far the saddest creature that roams the earth. I am witness to the disintegration of such an individual. I’ve stopped praying for him which I think is a paralleled experience of such sadness. My heart breaks. He is such a beautiful person beyond this evil.
I listen to all of your videos and feel like I’m attending University of Dr. Sam Vaknin. I learn more from you than I did in my master’s degree in counseling regarding issues of personality. I experienced a relationship with a narcissist who presented as covert. Both at the end of and after I ended the relationship his behaviors were sociopathic and he broke the law multiple times to try and harm me - all the while telling me he was justified in doing so. I was bullied, yet felt sorry for him because of his childhood abuse. It was your video that said that someone behaving this way needed to be held accountable to the highest extent of the law and I wasn’t the one to help him. Hearing that helped me to fight for and finally be successful in getting a restraining order against him. I have spent the past few years, single, looking at my own contribution to the relationship so I could change, improve my boundaries and be a healthier person as I consider myself responsible for learning from this in order to do better. My question is - if someone can become APD in response to loss of narcissistic supply then weren’t they always APD? I’m in America but agree more with the ICD dx of personality issues having a lot of overlap between what we consider here to be specific cluster B diagnoses. Often when I listen to your videos I hear elements of the behavior I saw across multiple diagnoses. You are brilliant and I am grateful for all I have learned and continue to learn from you. Thank you Dr. Vaknin.
Watch my video on ICD vs. DSM and my presentation in McGill University.
""in short , he is sam vaknin"" , funny self deprecating humor ...
listen up kidds , this man is sharing deep wisdom
Sam there is not a single person on YT who can explain the mind of all these personality and mental disorders as well as you can. The 3 N in my life, derailed completely and it was very painful for me to witness the death of 2 of them who died from alcohol related complications and the 3rd is going down the same road. Its still very sad for me to see. But I truly thank you for putting me on the right track. I now live peacefully, happily, healthy and free of all CPTSD symptoms THANK YOU. 🙏
Hg Tudor covers narcissism better in my opinion because he uses less technical terms
@@JasonGoldstein78 Just my oppinion.
The reason I say HG does a better job is because when I was in the midst of devaluation, I could have digested the material easier and maybe got myself out before I was set up, arrested and now fighting false accusations of DV
@@JasonGoldstein78 Its important to connect with someone you resonate with. If HG is the person I am glad you are gaining all the knowledge you need to live a happy life.
I call it the "end game" of narcissism. It's quite terrifying and it's best to keep a safe distance. Murder/suicide is a real problem, yes they can take you down with them. Beware!
Yeah authorities across the world should be teaching this subject in schools
Incredibly insightful. I only recently became aware of how much narcissism was present in my own family. This video described the last 4 years of life of my elderly aunt, who, unmarried and the last surviving member of her large family, experienced this drying up of supply and progressively disintegrated. She went the implosion route you describe - withdrawal, bitter disappointment over everything, paranoia (she couldn't make friends or socialize because she thought everyone would try to steal her stuff), constant talk of wishing to die, etc. Now I can see what was going on, but at the time I had no idea how to react. I kept trying to talk her into a better frame of mind; even if I'd known what was happening, I probably wouldn't have been able to do anything about it. Oddly enough, she left my sister and me a large amount of money in her will and had distributed a lot of money to other relatives a few years before. It's as if she gave up on living life while she had it in favour of a sort of posthumous existence - as if she'd be guaranteed our love and appreciation after she was dead. It's too bad; she had so many talents, but just let everything lapse in her old age.
You have described my own inner experience unfolding gradually, daily, even minute by minute. This concretization of processes matches my self observation of my own collapse and its process. I am grateful, at least, to been seen and understood through your analysis and description. I realize I am using this video as supply, just as you describe in my desperation to garner supply by becoming the center of my attention.
... wow ... theres hope for you with your self awareness
most narcissists dont have a clue and wont admit it
thx for your sharing and being vulnerable
that makes two of us. I am in the middle of blowing a Grandiosity Bubble as I type. I am in a motel at a beach resort. Convinced I can reinvent myself at 71 years old. Sam is describing me with hard to believe accuracy and detail. But amazing to me is I am not fearful. I accept I am flawed. I am doing the best I can.
@@etechconnect48 ...yup , im 64 , crashed n burned , total rebuild my life and no magical thinking , jus fukn hard work
@Gold Tau Yes, I am. Trauma came regularly to our family in many forms. Mother gave a child away at birth to a Catholic orphanage. That guilt and her personality disorder created physical sickness in the form of migraine headaches that manifested into various cancers and ailments.
My father knee not how to help her and he became a alcoholic unable to earn enough to sustain his family.
My sister and I were left to care for our ill mother as 9 and 7 year Olds.
She would pass out on the toilet and my sister would hold her head as I waaved smelling salts under her nose to revive her awake.
Then we would wipe her, clean her and drag her to bed. Afterwards my older sister opened some green beans in a can or whatever we had and we would sit and share in silence.
As a adult I became my father and sank into my own dependency issues with drugs and alcohol.
I am now 36 years sober and father to 4 children. I have worked intensely to heal and recover from hopelessness and dysfunction.
72 years old I attend psychotherapy weekly as I peel the layers of my denial away to try to uncover my true self.
Trauma leaves stains on the soul that darken the light of day. I have learned to not embrace anger, sadness or the numbing crush of loneliness by communicating my fear to those I love
It is very hard work. But the payoff is beauty and love.
I choose change over the death of unresolved trauma.
My Narcissistic person accidentally took acid, in that acid trip he was encountered with some sort of ego destroyed. After that acid trip he was happier, was more receptive to other peoples needs, he was patient and sometimes genuinely kind, he had changed, but after 2020 I think the stress of that year made him go back to what he used to be. We broke up
@@fooled_twice4668 he was allways in a constant self reflective state... his eyes seemed honest at that time. He was really shook up by the acid trip.
Fascinating story about the LSD.🤯
"MY narcissistic person" 😂😂😂😂
People as property... sounds familiar. 😊
That’s crazy, I’ve actually been wondering if psychedelics would help them. There are many positive results from psychedelics like breaking neuropathways, I think in a controlled environment with therapists there can be amazing outcomes
What you describe as the self destruction is what I've experienced with my brother...he is hell bent on self abuse..crying out for attention... I could not help in the end I was forced to give up. But I say this, to see a person abandon his mental and physical health is the hardest thing I've had to do...an d to be sure I'm still not sure how a person can get to this stage...so desperate... desolate...it's the saddest thing and possibly in my brother's case...the end game. Thank you Sam your knowledge is profound in its truth, and yes it helps.
FUCK YEAH MINNIE IS BACK
I cant believe this topic is the one unexplored by me through the years.
As the beloved narcisstic in my life of 11 years took his life a month ago, on the heels of this exact summary of this video. Thank you Sam, for showing me the truth about something so hard to witness.
The professor is the real deal , I wish I knew all this years ago , I can now put the jigsaw together and understand the dynamics the first step to healing.
I couldn’t make TikTok’s or have a public music playlist without the narc thinking it was about them because of the “soul tie” concept. “Music was soul communication” kind of stuff. Still waiting for his delusion to pop; however, I’m happy it’s not a shared fantasy.
I feel like narcs will never get to this point because there will always be supply … family will always be their supply and family members will never hold them accountable
Thank you Sam, love interacting with you..... feel like you are a friend, since we've been together the past 5 years, and by taking your advice, listening, and acting.... I am now free.
@@MissNancy 💜 I'm 62 - and starting over- Now I'm a minimalist 😊, have very little - lost the lot, however, I do have my sanity and freedom, and an abuse free future.
@@dawnday8169 ♥️♥️♥️ the same as me
Stay strong, believe in yourself, never look back / behind you. Your wonderful, happy future is ahead. 💞💞💞, Blessings, in love and light.
Amazing insights. My former husband displayed multiple examples of these behaviors. When I finally started standing up to him 10 years ago, his disintegration process began. It was a terrible sight to behold.
What a beautiful masterpiece. I am a living example of what you described and analyzed.
This describes well what I’ve been going through as someone with NPD. It’s hellish.
That's interesting. My partner doesn't seem to have the ability to reason things through to a logical conclusion. He seems to live in cognitive chaos. Like a headless chicken running around, the body is moving but there's no one at home.
I think this describes personality collapse in general. Abandonment and loneliness. Not only applicable to narcissists. And all humans need bubbles and fantasies to survive and create identity. I think it this form it is misleading as showcasing these experiences as unique experiences of NPDs. It is a bit scapegoating the pain on the narcissistic condition. But it it is just how humans react to complete rejection.
I just had this same thought. Where is the line drawn between a “normal” individual and a narcissist.
Sam describes the nuances of the human condition, which despite being pathological, are nonetheless innately human.
@@freeskierjimwe all have forms of primary narcissism… but secondary narcissism typically uses, abuses and hurts others without remorse.
Thanks for these vids. My parents are narcissists and this is really helping.
Listening to your comprehensive description of narcissistic behavior was indeed time well spent. I happen to be dealing with a neighbor who imo is a classic narcissist; ie the neighbor from hell. I fear I will have to sell my home and move to get away from her ever increasing vicious behavior. I can see that she is reacting to a lack of narcissistic supply. Your description of the extreme cases reminds me of Howard Hughs who became an extreme recluse despite his wealth. I believe he starved himself to death.
Howard Hughes had had several BAD plane crashes, plus mega stress from government committees probing his business auditing everything. The average person would struggle with any one of those things let alone all of them.
Thank you, Doctor Vaknin for your time and effort in putting together all of these wealth of information on your YT channel (esp for those of us who unconsciously subjected ourselves to the abuse/manipulation) for us. It took me 15y of confusion and heartache to understand what was making me feel very sick, leading to my clinical diagnosis of chronic depression in January 2019. After watching several of your videos, I educated myself about narcissism. What a world of difference this has made for me. Thank you, again.
Genius! Thanks for this content so much. You’re saving my sanity!
As Sam mentioned when we leave the narcissist we have the narcissist within. I recall this paranoia after the first relationship with a narcissist.
When I first met him he would want to pick a fight for no reason with anyone and everyone 😮 I was covertly gaslit, triangulated and neglected which led me losing 4 kilos over 4.5 months before I discarded him.
The grandiosity bubble resembles very much how people with BPD "reinvent" them selves.
PS: Thank you so much for your always interesting and enlightening videos from a long term fan from Denmark.
My former Narcissistic spouse resented the time I devoted to our 2 children, as he saw it as a depletion of his supply. Subsequently, he engaged in an emotional affair. At divorce proceedings, he tried to gaslight me into thinking it was MY fault the affair happened @ all. :/
My ex narc husband said it was my fault he had an affair. Can't take responsibility for his faults.
My ex-husband and ex-boyfriend. Ugh.
I really feel your information and love your videos. I really think my ex is bpd but shows lots of npd traits. The only reason i say this is because of the sudden mood swings that would happen and how she would wake up feeling. She would go out of her way for ppl to do kind deeds without ever seeing these ppl agsin or gaining anything in return but alot of her moods, words, justifications, blame shifting blame and demaning validation openly expressing needy, selfish etc and im still not sure what i delt with
Hope to meet you one day ❤ to say thank you 🧘🏻♀️
Great mind
Some of this is stuff a lot of victims suffer from though. At one point even Complex P-TSD is mentioned as something this kind of Narc suffers from. Without a clear differential between the behaviour patterns of the Narcissist and the ego damaged, traumatized victim- particularly scapegoats of Narc parental abuse- how is any victim - many of us having to isolate to avoid being abused- to avoid pathologisation as a narcissist? Now even a victim committing suicide fits that mould. How can we possibly discern, or expect psychiatric practitioners to discern?
Forgive me I think as ever it's a very informative and educational video. And you may have covered this differentiation problem in an earlier video I don't see them all.
Now the profiles are getting SO close, how do we differentiate between damaged survivors and narcissists? I'm hoping you'll say it's the supply. Neither I or any survivors I know have a form of supply, and lack sadistic characteristics. (That doesn't mean a perfect or always convivial personality but not a SADISTIC one).
Don't know if you'll see this.
@@shamtasticyou5485 trust me if they thought you were a narcissist they'd bloody well diagnose you with it
Thank you for this comment. Having been the victim of a narc boyfriend for over seven years, I spent half this video wondering if I was a collapsed narcissist.
And I will admit going through two periods of covert narcissism when I was younger, one episode being right after the death of my dad and after suffering at the hands of a narc sociopathic ex-husband and more than likely histrionic mother.
I think you answered your own query with your last paragraph. In my personal situation, I'm not about slapping indiscriminate labels on people, but I've spent inordinate amounts of time just wondering- Why? What happened, how did I get here, and what can I do to avoid the same or similar outcome again? Also, I think steps toward Jesus help in a way that I don't have words for, just a hope that maybe faith will get me through
They ARE diagnosing victims of m parental abuse with it. They do it all the time! Survivor's have to go and get second opinions. It's an epidemic
I totally agree with this thought. I came to the realization that I was born into a Narcissistic family system. After much research I’ve come to realize that I exhibit a lot of relational habits that are similar to what I saw growing up. I think it’s dangerous to take on the woe is me it’s all their fault mindset in recovery as it will not allow for us to examine our own flaws and work to truly break these horrible cycles. So I don’t consider myself an empath or a victim. That has paved the way for me to realize how much of this behavioral leprosy rubs off on anyone that comes from that type of background.
They change their tactics, not their personality traits.
Hi Sam I appreciate ur wisdom and IQ...
If the bubbles are rare, I wonder if high numbers of people formed these online to make up for lack of usual forms of supply during covid as a coping mechanism? In the UK, elements of our physical social distancing conditions were named as bubbles coincidently! This explanation does makes sense
I got my narcissistic ex so far that he wanted to try to do a MMPI test, but there is nowhere I can find a place where such a test can be done without having to sign up for multiple sessions of therapy. These tests should be just available for anybody! I feel let down by the field of mental healthcare.
This is crazy accurate
Instantly gratifying in the best Vaknin tradition. 😁 Oh Professor Sam, once again your sparkling vocab and delivery cracks me up... whatever the topic for the day. 🧚♀️
Withdraws from reality, adopts delusional or psychotic disorder, omg I’ve seen this before these people can’t deal with reality, I could see the collapse as they were being evicted & yet this person laughed & act as if it wasn’t happening, delusional you’re being evicted
Mind blowing
Hi Sam, thank you for these enlightening videos!!
You provide the explanations to help targeted victims/survivors understand our experiences.
Thank you again for your awesome endorsement and for writing the Foreword to my first book of my now 5-book series on Domestic Violence, Narcissistic Abuse and Parental Alienation: “TRUE DECEIT FALSE LOVE”😃🙏🏼💕📚✏️📖
Book 1 notes 15,555 terms & phrases, many of which YOU coined and added to the literature. It seems new verbiage is being created daily!!! Many new words are stated in this video!!!
Thank you for your awesome compilation - a true legacy.
It's a leap of faith but only to suffer only one of dark and light returns with elixir thank u .
You perfectly have categorized and made made sense of describing my life and family. Would CPSD/ dialectical behavior therapy help with coping through the dis regulation self esteem flagellation? Is there any type of therapy that can help with Schizoid disorder ?
Is there any hope whatsoever? Is there a final point where the narcissist gives up and seeks therapy? If he seeks therapy is there hope to live at least a somewhat normal life? This is awful
any healthy functioning kind people out there?
They are out there. I have met them. Unfortunately I realised too late the signs of a narc and how to deal with them. Don't let narcs colour
They are out there. Don't let the narcs you have experienced colour your point of view.
This described my ex in every single detail.
The description of the paranoid narsasist sounds similar to how one might feel after being a victim of a narsasistic relationship. How do I distinguish wheather I'm the narsasist or the victim of one?
He has me thinking I'm a narcissist, but I have to remind myself I'm not. Crazy how they suck us into their shame by turning us into them.
@@DOTMH_1 Yeah, I agree. Be careful not to "self-diagnose," never comb over the obvious signs (whether they contradict/or agree with this diagnosis).
What effects would antipsychotic medication have on paranoid or schizoid narcissists? Are such narcissists born out of the same essence (or partly) as non narcissists with cluster A personality disorders?
Do you think that whilst going through cold therapy, it would be useful for the person to be on some form of serotonin re-uptake inhibitor?
Doesn't matter either way, but I prefer not to.
Can someone tell me if there is a video in this channel that can explain how a narsisist reacts in front of his resposability in a trail? Or how it is seen/lived by a narsisist when must live through a period of trial when his actions are brought to trail, thank you.
It's so sad...
it really is. so much of it around...
This is scary.
I dumped the narc ex and then contacted his ex wife to find out how crazy he was.
He spins this story claiming she paid me to date him and break his heart. His second story is I work for the cia and was trying to recruit him for a human intelligence experiment. 🤣🤣
Yes they will go to whatever length they feel will get you to worship them. A Australian SS soldier, a private Chinese triad contactor...A James Bond.. the Web just keeps spinning.
😂he missed his calling as a writer
Can a collapsed narcissist utilize a combination of these solutions simultaneously or do they typically adapt one at a time. Alternatively, can they cycle from one solution to another over a short period of time? How long does the collapse typically last?
Amazing information. Thanks!
Thanks for this enlightening video.
Is there a way to help/ make react a narcissist?
From the distance, I know it is not my role…but feel so powerless. It makes me sad.
I told the narcissist that i don't want contact and he said he will respect my wishes. He has not contacted me since. What does this mean? Can someone explain this to me?
It’s time to rebuild your self. It’s almost impossible to silence the narcissist in your mind. Start by reminding yourself what you are and what you like. Small ways in the beginning. I like to smell flowers and smell them and say I like that and it’s good. Whatever you are good at and like use that to get in touch with yourself. Remind yourself how you are good and what that good is
Don’t worry about him turn that attention back on you & he probably wanted you yo leave him to
Be happy. Now let go.
Capable of remorse!? Haa
This is so much information, I may have to watch it again. I have a stalker literally right next door, he is 77 and recently started following me in his truck! I'm not sure what to think about him, and I don't know if it is narcissism or what?! He shows up in my path and tries to follow me on the property where my apartment complex is. I'm shocked at how someone of his age would do this, much less have the energy??
I hope he’s gone from your life now , he’s just a narcissistic pervert looking for younger supply and you were the target. Sad isn’t it .
Sam would you say that narcissistic collapse is similar to the hypomania of BiPolar ? it's seeming that way to my experience of an ex relationship. Thankyou
Is there a way for us to get better? I can tell I’m utilizing the antisocial solution. I don’t want to keep destroying everything. My partner thinks I need to stop seeking supply in order to get better, but I can’t stand feeling like this.
Become self aware and self supply by your own succes and healthy lifestyle choices.
They are more dissociated than people with DID.
No cope lasts forever.
woohoo, you're my favorite handsome grumpy Genius Rock Star of the Cluster B♥️😌
Is there any hope for the narcissist to recover or come out of this pattern? Is there any hope for them to understand these things and learn to behave in a more normal way?
Hello Dr. Vaknin, Just wanted to mention that I’m a huge fan of your work. I’d finished reading your book on Narcissism - Malignant Self-Love when I was 19 years old - so by now - I’d had some time to think and ponder about your book’s impressive academic input and expertise on the subject of Narcissism. Anyways- i had arrived at this one question: is there any kind of connection or overlap between somatic version of NPD and HPD - especially things like hedonism sexual narcissism and even hypochondriac kind of behaviour? I’ve thought of that for some time and wanted to ask for your opinion about it! Thank you for your educational input on UA-cam! Great channel!
Minnies been in the dishwasher lol
What about when a narcissist is exposed, suffers massive injury . Then suddenly syarts sobbing saying " I'm so ashamed" admits to feeling of shame. Does that mean not a narcissist?
They’re still a narcissist - they go back to their normal programming. I think.
Thank you 🙏🙏
Minnie!!
Is it typical for narcissists to search for family members (that they believe they have) or adoptive/alternative families in their teenage years?
How on Earth is that narcissistic?
@@117Industries Idk bro tf??? That's why I was asking...
I know that I made friends with many of my friend's mothers in a subconscious search for an alternative mother as I think my own mother who is now disceased fit the type for borderline personality disorder. She leaned heavily on me to care for her but abused me constantly for not living up to her imagined ideal daughter. Fortunately I was able to bond with an aunt who loved me and nourished my need for validation. I think she helped me when I needed it. I don't blame my mother as she had a sad back story. I have never seen myself as a victim or for that matter a heroic survivor. Life hasn't been easy for me but there has always been in my spirit a certain authenticity. I don't feel empty but there have been times when I've felt a bit lost. Mostly I manage to muddle along and I always think hard trying to find realistic solutions to my problems. As a child I suffered from severe eczema and by my teens learned to do what I could to help my skin look better and accept that I could never wear make up or synthetic clothing. I once overheard an adult call me disfigured. Thus was at church by the way. If I heard such things I'd not take it in for more than a second yet it taught me not to trust adults or ask them for help. Later in life I had to learn who to trust and who not to trust.
EXCEPTIONAL
When a drug addict undergoes cold turkey, for long periods of time, this might lead to him getting over his drug habit. Could this happen to someone with regards to narcissistic supply?
No.
Well, we are mocking him.
Mine committed suicide
How did he kill himself...?
@@fredifeinkost1985 hand gun -r temple
@@shannakellett9104 I know this question was very tactless.... But here, in Germany, where I live, it is not that easy, to get in possesion of a hand gun.... One would have to jump off a cliff, or before a train, or something of this nature....
So it would make it much "harder" to kill oneself (and with that, to retreat from reality), I think....
@@fredifeinkost1985
It’s okay to ask questions when it comes to this subject Fredi, no matter where you live. He was 39 years old- Michael looked like a real Greek god. So beautiful so charming and witty and … I could go on- I had left him in Georgia and moved away as far as I could near Los Angeles.. for a year and a half he called, begged, showed out, and unbeknownst to me, had attempted suicide 3 times in 6 months.
He would call me 50-60 times a day - which I answered each one with love and kindness because that’s how I am.
On June 29th 2020 I hung up the phone and I now know he walked into his mom’s bedroom- got her 38 walked into the woods beside the house and shot 2 times. They found him 3 days later.
According to family, he was planning to shoot me and then himself- murder suicide. Thank Jesus Christ I’m still here and trying to warn others about this real demonic spirit that’s taking over these days. Whew! Godspeed my German friend
@@shannakellett9104 This is far worse, than I had expected...thank you for the insight, and thanks to Jesus Christ...
Lives and souls should be saved.
Frohe Weihnachten!
Can pets supply the narcissist ?
Yes. Even inanimate objects can.
Minni!
En tant que mère, je constate que pour sauver mon fils d’une dérive terriblement néfaste pour lui-même (parce qu’aujourd’hui je le devine narcissique - il a à 26 ans) , je devrais toujours nourrir son narcissisme .. ?! c’est terrible ! .. parce que j’ai souffert moi-même d’un mari narcissique (covert malignant sadique) que j’ai finalement quitté après trente ans .. et en plus d’avoir moi-même subi un père médecin chirurgien narcissique (overt).. je sais les reconnaître tous .. et je suis tellement triste de reconnaître la pathologie de mon fils. Est-ce toujours à cause d’une mère défaillante (moi codependante) où l’on peut dire aussi que c’est dans les gènes …? Merci de me référer à l’une de vos videos qui pourraient éclairer ma lanterne. Portez-vous bien et merci cher maître de vos lumières.
Search the From Child to Narcissist playlist.
No it’s not your fault . He learned from watching his narcissistic father.You did nothing wrong.
Why always refer to the narcissist as male ? Can you tell me as fact which sex boasts the higher percentage of narcissism please ? I suspect it is male but would like to know for sure.
NPD is now diagnosed equally among the genders, 50:50. Used to be 75% men until about 10 years ago.
Thank you professor. Перевод на русский здесь
ua-cam.com/video/-SbkAyWfW78/v-deo.html
What age can this hapoen?
Throughout his life. You may wish to actually watch the video.
😂@@samvaknin
"I can declassify stuff even by thinking about"i. Donald J, Trump 2022. THANK YOU
We were together 3 years we broke up and she overdosed on oxycodone and died 3 months later
Under the belief i blame myself
Im worried that they always have supplies ...he had wife and still many supplies on the site i was one of them 😏
Mine committed suicide too
The only time they feel shame is when they don’t distract themselves. This I believe is why they cannot be alone. I always saw his absence as a independent self confident person, only NOT knowing what he was really doing behind closed doors. I believe his grandma knew what he was up to. Which isn’t normal, he has a very max dysfunctional family. They all act as if they need each other. It doesn’t get any weirder than that. When his grandma dies that’s when things will be scary for him and his life. He will be scrambling to find a supply to knock up and trap. He more than likely needs a housewife to do his laundry, clean his room, cook his food and give him Sex. It’s all so weird. It’s hard to wrap your head around such a lifestyle, BUT THIS IS WHO THEY ACTUALLY ARE.😵💫😵💫😵💫
How does someone become a narcissist
My sister was born that way. Probably a genetic trait passed down through the generations. However others say that it’s due to a child being
spoilt during childhood or neglected.
Mini lol ❤
21.10 to 22.10 sounds almost like a description of Putin and his justifications of attacking Ukraine.
Sounds exactly like Amber Heard.
Перевод на русский здесь
ua-cam.com/video/-SbkAyWfW78/v-deo.html
Brrrrr i don’t even know anymore
Ahaha
weepers :')