Growing Up with an Absent Father -

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  • @trykarat
    @trykarat  Рік тому +4

    watch full pod at link.trykarat.com/toph

  • @affel6559
    @affel6559 9 місяців тому +10

    You can hear in her voice and very clearly see in her face that, of course, understandably, NOTHING IS FINE ABOUT A MISSING FATHER OR MOTHER.
    But we all need to make the best of our situations. Let's return to traditional family. Amen!

  • @tanmai5785
    @tanmai5785 Рік тому +190

    Absent parent makes u sad but a bad presence parent can leave you traumatized physically, mentally, emotionally. There's no need to argue about which is better

    • @yermom420
      @yermom420 Рік тому +1

      Exactly!!!

    • @06howea1
      @06howea1 11 місяців тому

      We’re not comparing who’s more fucked up so stop this

    • @wannavolvo
      @wannavolvo 11 місяців тому +1

      Imagine doesnt have present father but in the other side have an abusive and violent step

  • @aquasnek5487
    @aquasnek5487 Рік тому +21

    You got lucky your mother shows emotion. My dad left before i was born and my mom is kind of cold.

  • @RenaPainter
    @RenaPainter Рік тому +63

    That’s EXACTLY why I don’t talk to my mom. She can do no wrong so after a point I had to decide that I’d rather have her absence than a violent presence. Beautifully said.

  • @tell-it-like-it-is8305
    @tell-it-like-it-is8305 Рік тому +23

    I had a father who passed away but even when he was alive it was like he was dead. He was basically like a ghost in our lives.

  • @Commenter5
    @Commenter5 Рік тому +16

    Me sitting in the back crying because my biological dad left me and than my mom remarried with a toxic guy and I hate my mom for staying with him for so long 😭I know it’s selfish to hate my mom for it but she was the one who stood there while this guy absolutely used me and destroyed my self esteem completely

    • @Meher-un-NisaTanveer
      @Meher-un-NisaTanveer Рік тому +5

      I'm late but sorry that happened to u. You've got this mate, stay strong. God bless

    • @IamFree4Life
      @IamFree4Life 4 місяці тому

      Whatever you are feeling you are totally justified because parents are supposed to be there for their kids and protect their kids. The key to peace is to find that thing inside of you that wants to heal and begin to move in that direction. I wish you the best…

  • @sleepygirlmae
    @sleepygirlmae Рік тому +9

    My biological father left when i was born, then my mom dated someone who was very controlling over my mom and i and insisted that i called him dad. My mom broke up with him and married my step dad who adopted me as a gift for my birthday. It worked out in the end, but I dealt with a lot of self-hatred and abandonment issues because of my bio dad

  • @hayleygerritse8177
    @hayleygerritse8177 11 місяців тому +5

    I also have 3 half brothers, my dads side... he is absent. Emotionally neglectful. My mother is a alcoholic/addict. I am 24 still healing of course.

  • @Htebya
    @Htebya Рік тому +2

    That last line was very true.

  • @letsdomath1750
    @letsdomath1750 Рік тому +3

    That was so sad to reflect upon as it reminded me of my own experience growing up. My dad would alternate between absence, as he often worked abroad, and (sometimes) violent presence. It was both extremes, and it wasn't predictable.

  • @Ry_Ry111
    @Ry_Ry111 3 місяці тому +1

    Okay woah my biological father is from Kentucky too and he’s an absent father too that hit home quick af

  • @TheAmazingGalaxyCats
    @TheAmazingGalaxyCats 5 місяців тому +1

    I have an absent father. I fucking miss him man.

  • @dopplarwaves
    @dopplarwaves 6 місяців тому +1

    Crazy how easy it is for some people in the comments to still blame her and her mother and not the man who abandoned his family

  • @Akaria.Luvs1
    @Akaria.Luvs1 11 місяців тому

    My parents had a huge fight in front of me when I was 6, so she is extremely right. Be grateful for what you have but if they straight up treat you like 💩 then don’t be.

  • @ChilltheImpaler
    @ChilltheImpaler 11 місяців тому +2

    I mean there are more options than absence and violent presence

  • @dipndotzzz
    @dipndotzzz 10 місяців тому

    I wish my dad cared a little bit more. He just sits around playing video games and doesn't feed me and my brother healthy. I sometimes fight with my mom... she's divorced from my dad and they have split custody. But at least she feeds us well and takes care of us better. I'm depressed and I'm only realizing how my dad is until a few months ago.

  • @tierax8992
    @tierax8992 Рік тому +3

    If I can get to this level of oh well, I’ll be okay 😂

  • @kawa8149
    @kawa8149 8 місяців тому

    My bio father was living with me, my mom and brother, but he was never really there? He didn't take care of me when I was a kid it was either on my mom or my grandparents. He was either sleeping, playing computer games or heck do know where. For sure not at work cause he never provide for us since my mom got off maternity leave. He was distant emotionally my entire live, even if he was really close physically. And when he actually talk to me, he most of the time wasn't sobber or was just ruining my self esteem. So yea at some point I just realized I would much rather have my parents divorce, than still have to live with him. But It wasn't my choice to make

  • @Stop-it-
    @Stop-it- Рік тому +1

    I can relate with you.

  • @Commenter5
    @Commenter5 Рік тому

    I got both absence and violent presence by having my biological dad leave when i was 2 and my mom choosing to marry again when i was 6 with a toxic guy oh and yeah, last year they divorced, i have gone through it all!😄😁🙂😌😕🙁😞

  • @MY_VIDEOS_ARE_TRUTH
    @MY_VIDEOS_ARE_TRUTH 4 місяці тому

    Absence is also highly traumatic and causes developmental issues

  • @0X0Jennyjen0X0
    @0X0Jennyjen0X0 Рік тому +6

    My daughters father is like this. I needed to hear this. Oddly enough.

    • @dwecktek
      @dwecktek 10 місяців тому

      Just say your baby daddy

  • @familyoftwo7441
    @familyoftwo7441 11 місяців тому

    I know my dads name and ive seen one pic.im 53,dont know if hes dead or alive.if i found out he lived 3 streets away and had 3 weeks to live,i would not be running round there.oh i can find out where he is anytime,just not a priority.

  • @apollow_g1025
    @apollow_g1025 Рік тому +4

    i volunteer for new daddy

  • @iLLeysScriptDealer
    @iLLeysScriptDealer 2 місяці тому

    Absent father + dealt with divorce growing up

  • @mondoshawan2159
    @mondoshawan2159 Рік тому +1

    My dad was in my life then he sent me to live with my mom and i never saw him ever again...5 years ago i learned he died after he was buried. Im so angry i feel like im going to kill someone

  • @nammi895
    @nammi895 8 місяців тому +1

    Fatherless behaviour 😂

  • @yah8693
    @yah8693 Рік тому +5

    She doesn't understand
    Still anger towards the father

    • @Gadol_Adonai_196
      @Gadol_Adonai_196 7 місяців тому +1

      Because she was fed lies and does not him or his behaviour, personally.

  • @sheiladickerson2224
    @sheiladickerson2224 Рік тому +2

    Hey, sorry about your dad, but there isn't anything wrong with Kentucky.

    • @kellen5545
      @kellen5545 Рік тому +2

      Not directly no, but the south's track record on sex education and teen pregnancy is probably what she's leaning into there.

  • @JusstAReminder
    @JusstAReminder 10 місяців тому +1

    Your mother is single but your dad has 3 new children. Maybe also a happy life. Do the maths.

    • @ioo15yearsago57
      @ioo15yearsago57 2 місяці тому

      I rather be single with my kids then have a violent man in the house

  • @royalkutun5699
    @royalkutun5699 Рік тому +3

    Now father is bad because hed mother said so

  • @Gadol_Adonai_196
    @Gadol_Adonai_196 7 місяців тому +1

    Everything about this Post showed that you were fed lies, many lies about your father. How do you know, if he wasn't in your life, that he was violent and toxic? You have no personal firsthand information, except what you were convinced of..... Shouldn't you get to know this person, to have your own personal opinion, rather than live your whole entire life, based on the opinion of another?

    • @tannisarkar8334
      @tannisarkar8334 7 місяців тому +1

      you wont understand cause you didn't experience what she did. also it's not like she can change the past. she's actually being grateful and positive.

    • @Gadol_Adonai_196
      @Gadol_Adonai_196 5 місяців тому

      @@tannisarkar8334 Men don't abandoned their children. Men abandon the toxicity of the women they have kids with. Women use their children as pawns to manipulate fathers. It takes a lot for a man to separate himself from his children. If only you know the heart of the man who has kids, it changes them, but they cannot and do not know how to express themselves and their emotional/ psychological connection with their children to a toxic, manipulating female who bears his kids.....this is from years of experience counseling divorce and divorcing fathers

  • @gerardoa9179
    @gerardoa9179 6 місяців тому

    Never date women without a father

  • @HoodLivin
    @HoodLivin Рік тому +3

    Sounds like her mother is the one who’s not great at taking responsibility.

    • @charlottearanea7507
      @charlottearanea7507 Рік тому +9

      ??? Sounds like she's an emotionally supportive and available single mother.