SINS OF THE FATHER :The damage caused by Collier's father on his family comes full circle, again.
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- Опубліковано 18 жов 2024
- Collier shares with Brenda how his mother Noreen's cousin recently reached out after seeing his documentary "A Murder in Mansfield." When Collier seeks to learn more about his mother's childhood from her family, he is shut down simply for being "his father's son."
Collier remembers how he was shut down many years ago by both his mother AND father's family, who labeled him "guilty by association," despite Collier's crusade in aiding the investigation of his mother's murder, leading to his father's conviction for her murder.
Collier reveals how this stigma has haunted him his entire life and seeks to understand if other "children of murderers" face the same hurdles in life.
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*This podcast contains colorful language that some of our listeners might consider NSFW...even when working from home.
I don’t understand your mothers side of the family at all. No one knows what they would do in a situation until they go through it but I can tell you what I wouldn’t do. I would not abandon my sister’s child especially during the most trying time of their lives. So sorry you had to endure this. I can see the strength your instilled in you. Thank you for sharing and helping us all.
I just do not get how a murdered woman’s family could turn their backs on two wounded, devastated young children. Especially since the older sibling was instrumental in putting how own father in jail and getting justice for his mother. Makes zero sense.
Because when they see them they remember the shame and guilt of how they didn’t help and they knew the mom and C was going thru DV. It’s sad. My dads family knew how bad my dad would bear my mom and he almost
Killed her many times but she escaped. I think it’s to write them off so they don’t remember how they turned a blind eye. From my experience. They say they didn’t know it was going on but they had to pull my dad off my mom many times. We were almost homeless I lived in a shack with my water or heat or fridge or anything and they lived 2-4 miles away in a small
Town and radio silence….
Collier had the misfortune of having a terrible father and a mother who was tricked by him young but was trying to save herself and her children. Collier is anything but a psychopath or aspd or even narcissist or bpd - his family are basing this off their own unhealed trauma they REFUSE to look at. They’re afraid of the depth and breadth people who try to heal will go to like Collier. I am new to his story but I am experiencing this with my family and (as a widow) with my in-laws. They cannot deal with the fact that I am in 12 step recovery for codependency from my own psychopathic parent and neglect and abuse as a child… I also do IFS therapy, I try to meditate, and I found out I had an aspie diagnosis that was hidden from me so I got diagnosed as an adult - high function asd (not sociopathy) and the more peace and healing I get (after daily hard work and being a mess for most of my life but also good at masking) … the ones in my family and in laws who are neurodivergent for sure and some seem on the autism spectrum too like my late husband was and I am (hello, it’s genetic)… well they are the biggest opponents of my work because it’s too scary to look at themselves or the pains of the past. My mother rejected me for looking like my dad. They were both really screwed up and I never went through what Collier went through - but wow - I as it violent and crazy. My mother tried to k me. My dad died too young from a wasted dark life. My mother joined an effing cult and married a cult leader. A scary one lol. I’m lucky I’m alive. I was so clueless before I had relationships with 2 diagnosed sociopaths (aspd) and 1 diagnosed now imprisoned psychopath. I realized I had to relearn everything and heal enough to never live a life searching for someone else to save me - because my choices in domestic abuse or dealing with the legal problems and addictions of partners. It’s been about 18 months of recovery work and the results have really showed the last 2 months and 2023 is now the best year of my life. Sometimes you have to accept you may lose both sides of your entire family. It really hurts. But I’m finding out I’m ok on my own, I have a burgeoning spiritual life, recovery friends, and recently I’ve healed enough to let a wonderful man into my life. I’ve also met a few friends and I’m feeling that we can sometimes create our own chosen families - even older. Best wishes to you both. Thank you for your raw truths.
Your mom’s family might have had a history of abuse, so perhaps they lacked the tools to truly help and protect her. It is not uncommon for victims of abuse to marry abusers.
@@knjmoorhouse5093true. Wondering that myself too.
Geez. Collier was 11 and his sister even younger and his family let them go into FOSTER CARE after their father murdered their mother. Talk about dropping the ball. So cold.
I do not like my brother one bit however I would NEVER have his children put into Foster care in a million years. The children are innocent in any situation and in a situation like this their little world had already been turned upside down without sending them to the jowls of the care system. Just horrible. Colliers mother would be so proud of him but her family is shockingly cold.
True. What's even worse is that they continue to avoid him. I can't imagine what Collier is going through. My heart breaks for him.
@@Sunshine-hb2tx If Collier was a failure that would have justified their shunning , him being just like his father,...However he made a success of his life and now they have to forgive themselves which is more difficult than forgiving others
Love Brenda. She has such empathy for you Collier. You are lucky....cherish that.!
Totally! And she speaks the truth!
How disgusting! How could your own family keep treating you like crap?!
🤷🏼♂️
@collierlandry "Love is stronger than death"
Look what an incredible justice you accomplished for your innocent mother in spite of all the terror, rejection, loss and grief that surrounded you...
This is only the beginning for you - your courage and grit will change the world Collier.
Your beautiful mom probably fell in love with your dad's fake persona after being trauma bonded. We are attracted to "familiar" so your mom prob grew up in narcissistic abuse to be attracted to that man. You are better off without toxic relatives.
Just like the crowd cheering Jesus on Palm Sunday then shouting "crucify Him, give us Barrabas the murderer instead" pretenders hate truth tellers!
I stopped my dad killing my mom physically when I was about 9, he pretty much detested and stonewalled me even till his death in my 30s, mom died too young due to abuse, only when mom's sister and my older sister tried to destroy me and my children at the most vulnerable point in my life (after fleeing for my life from a "pillar of the community" psycho husband that was yrying to do away with me - did I realise my relatives helped to destroy my mom too - yet they looked like the moral helpers!
God saved me, not religion, just God as it was in the days of Noah. Had a successful medical career in spite of their abuse and am now on the verge of exciting change again. Me version 3.0, don't look back. Keep fighting the good fight, at least you can sleep knowing you have a clear conscience, a loving heart and a reward in heaven. Love from UK bro, we are rising up!! ✨️❤️✨️🕊🕊🕊🇬🇧
They don't know how to love, whilst the love between you and your mother transcended time and brought eternal justice. Love never fails ❤
I think about the young 11/12 year old boy and wish there had been a supportive circle around you at the time but I also know that people can re-write their own story. Many years later that young boy was able to create a supportive community around him of people who are so proud and impressed and delighted with what he has gone on to achieve! Well done! You inspire so many!
I'm so sorry for your loss Collier and sorry you had to go thru this pain til this day.
That guy is NUTS! You are better off without him in your life. You are such a beautiful person! It's really his loss. I'm so sorry for what you have been through & for what you are still going through. ❤ 🙏
Thank you so much @Owassoegan for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
Collier, you're a good person. You make a concerted effort daily to BE one. You walk the talk. You're sincere & you have integrity, empathy, compassion & kindness is your default setting.
You're loveable. Endearing. Good through & through. ❤
The New York Post had an article about you today and I would have never known about you otherwise. Tomorrow I will watch your episodes. I wish you the best of luck. You have been through more than what any of us could imagine. God bless.
Thank you! NYP and Rebecca Reisner did a wonderful job!
@@collierlandry Yes she did. And so do you, telling your story.
Brilliant podcast.
The only reason why I am following you unlike other people with similar experiences is:
You loved your mother
Your protective instincs are fantastic
You loved your dog enough that you still cared about him whilst child services took you away
(I am still unhappy that they made no effort to reconcile you and your dog or even tried to give you closure as to what happened to him as if his life did not matter)
I love the fact that you took special care of Blondie until her death.
I love that you seek truth and justice
I love thst you loved your mother more than your own safety and your own life and exposed your dad
I love that you have a strong sense of truth.
Your life is proof that Epi-genetics is true.
You can turn off genes by making the right decisions.
This tricles down to what you eat also.
You can turn off genes for cancer, diabetes etc. With the right lifestyle choices i.e. the food you eat.
Hope you will realize and make peace with the fact that you dont have one cell, one, inch in your body, mind and spirit that is anything like your dad.
Youre the complete opposite
Loved your story
Love your courage
I'm sorry Collier. Your story is heartbreaking. Sending love.
You were and are a hero for your mom.
Subconsciously when estranged family or friends see physical attributes of someone they hate, they can't get through it sometimes. I am estranged from a sister who had that problem with me as I exhibited a mannerism of my father who molested her growing up and after that she didn't want to see me anymore. It must have been very scary for her to come face to face with it and did not want to deal with it. It was heartbreaking because to push me away for reminding her of our father was so unfair to me, but she had to do what she needed to do for herself. It is a difficult thing to overcome.
Gr8 episode well done thank you!
Thanks Collier 🌴🙏🏻
Admirada de tu historia llore y sentí tu dolor que valentía tan grande tiene saludos de Venezuela eres grande
¡Muchas gracias por sus amables palabras, son realmente apreciados!
Collier, I hope you don't go down a dark rabbit hole with this. I am glad you have found a way to help others. Please be careful and don't let it consume you.
Thank you, I will
Thank-you for helping others by sharing and I hope it benefits you. I think I have a perspective on rejection by family members. Anxiety often instigates avoidance. Some emotions are so intense and feel so life threatening people think they must avoid to stay safe. What happened to you as a young boy was so terrible it must have felt unthinkable to many of your family members and so they rejected you. But then there must have been feelings of shame for many of those family members, to reject a young boy who defended his mother like noone else, including his mother's family. They may feel they have to defend their rejection of you in order to live with themselves. People will do a lot in order to live with themselves. Perhaps that is part of what gave you strength. You knew you were doing the right thing.
My brother was bank robber i never have Rob anybody I’m 72 year old
I remember seeing this at the time. That brave brilliant boy is unforgettable. Shame on that family. I hope your real family has helped to heal those wounds. (I consider my husband, son, daughter in law and grandsons my real family. It's a healthier way for me.) Best wishes to you and yours and hopes for a happy life. And bravo to you for continuing to honor your Mom.
Great coverage in the New York Post!!! Keep up the good work--😇💖
Thank you! Will do!
I am sorry that family an be such jackasses, it feels like they want someone to blame love it makes me upset but you are a great man look how many people you have helped , it’s really their loss they are missing out on knowing a great man….🙏☺️❤️🕊️
Your Dad didnt snap, he was cold, calculating, methodical, deliberate about killing your Mom. It was first acted out in fantasy, then acted out in reality because your Mom was Trusting Loving Easygoing
Which your Dad despised such traits especially, vulnerability, connectedness between You and your Mom,
Something he lacked and if he couldn't have it no one can.
Remember that Clint Eastwood movie where they paint the town red? They did so to draw attention to the GUILTY parties who stood idly by and did nothing as murder happened right under their noses. This betrayal and shunning of Collier by those who *_should have_* stepped up to bat but didn't also reminds me of the Kitty Genovese story.
The GUILTY parties *_avoid_* the one who tells The Inconvenient Truth.
That person's Collier & that person's ME in my toxic family.
*_They'd all rather live in denial._*
Thank you for sharing your perspective and drawing a comparison to the Clint Eastwood movie and the Kitty Genovese story. It's true that there can be a reluctance to face inconvenient truths, especially when they involve difficult or uncomfortable topics. It takes courage and strength to speak up and take action, even when it's not easy or popular. I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced a similar situation in your own family, and I hope that you're able to find the support and resources you need to navigate it. Remember to prioritize your own well-being
Those mother’s relatives were cowards then, and they are still cowards now. They let Collier’s mother down and harmed Collier. Collier was the only brave person who sought justice. I am still incensed how they turned their backs on him. They don’t deserve Collier, and at the same time I am glad that Collier was raised by truly good hearted people. The mother’s family might have been terrible and could have hurt him more. They disgust me. Sorry, Collier, if my words are hurtful to you. I truly hope that your mother’s relatives read my words. I am amazed and admire your resilience, determination and bravery. And I admire your empathy towards those undeserving, cowardly relatives. The way I see it, they owe you a lot. I hope that cousin can help you fill in those blanks. He’s the only one tjat has the right attitude.
Facts
Collier - I am sorry that you have to put up with 💩heads in your family. You are most definitely not like the monster who happens to be your father. I remember this case and I remember you on the stand.
My mother was murdered in 1976. In Cambridge Mass. By a man who pretended to be a hero and a gentleman. I believe people let us know who they are but we close our eyes to anything that goes against what we want to believe. I am not blaming my mother but maybe a little I am because she was so impressed with all the BS about superficial pleasantries until it was too late and he began to follow her( the word stalk was not in every day vocabulary in 1976).
How terrible that man said you are like your father. So disqusting.
Collier, my heart goes out to you! Showing such courage at your father’s trial, is beyond me.
God bless you, & your sister. I pray that your future endeavors, projects, going your favor.
Your amazing, young man, never forget that! God clearly has a plan for you..
I hate that your family members rejected you kids, BUT I’m so happy you ended up with the adoptive parents you did, couldn’t have found better, I don’t think.
If i had a daughter, i would be so proud to have you in our family.
Thank you for saying that @Owassoegan; it is very flattering.
But you have her eyes that connects to your brain showing you really are not the same. I find it really sad and I imagine your mother wouldn’t be happy with their conduct.
Check out Tiffany Sedaris and her story. She was her toxic family's appointed family scapegoat who was a threat to the family of exposing their toxicity to the world. They sent her away to this infamous 'reform school' where she was violently tormented every day. Family did this because she kept running away from home to escape the family's toxicity. The mother was a violent, explosive, histrionic, raging abusive alcoholic. Tiffany wound up offing herself & was found in abject poverty. It was revealed that the wealthy siblings of she had done nothing to help her. Famous writer David, comedian sister Amy... And extended family all are guilty of doing nothing to help. To this day, living in denial.
Woah what!? I am intrigued by this...yet heartbroken.
You can't pick your relatives.
Indeed you can't lol!
I was born to an unwed mother. All my life people have stereotyped me as the daughter of a slut. They assume this about my birth mother. I was born in 1954 so times have changed. But the stereotypes have persisted. It touches my heart to hear your story. It is so unfair and hurtful to be judged and stereotyped. You are the furthest thing from your sperm donor and I don't believe my birth mother was a slut. I'm not either. @@collierlandry
I feel this so much. But from a DV standpoint. My dad did so much destruction but he was still there in the community. He and his family erased us. He went on living but his sins were us and how he and his family failed us and they remember me not having food, being essentially homeless (having a structure but that’s it) and they remember how they didn’t do anything. And I think with how smart and eloquent you spoke thru equate you with an adult? It’s sad
You mean we don't know that you're dad his never killed anyone else , he knows how to bury evidence. Well.
Imagine being the daughter of the “Smiley Face” serial killer out of Spokane Washington, he would bring home jewelry and clothes for the girls from his victims. I can’t imagine what they went through after finding that out 😢
I also cannot fathom being rejected by your mother’s family after exposing yourself to the danger of backlash from your dad . You are solely responsible for your Mother’s peace and tranquillity, because had you not been scared and angry, it would have been years before you saw any Justice for her. I hope one day you find that peace that comes with knowing your truth and being proud of it.
If Liev Schreiber + Ray Liotta were combined, they would look just like you.
BOTH RAYS! YAAASSSS!!!!
I have been looking at photos of your mother, father and you, you have dark hair like your father but what I see is that you have your mothers eyes , the same shape of the mouth, and a mix of their noses but I’m leaning more towards hers. You of coarse have the more masculine size but still Collier I see her features.. I’m sorry but the cousin and maybe even the Aunt are using excuses for their own laziness of not wanting to work through their own pain of these circumstances and maybe some guilt if your mom confided in her sister anything and she did nothing.
It looks like the aunt knows her behavior was wrong and is blame shifting.
Uh oh! The father molested the little girls? Ok that's really scary too. And that can be generational because kids repeat that unfortunately.
Another deep rabbit hole.
Worried if he gets out.
You are Noreen son threw and threw look so much like your mother ❤
@user-yr3fx2cu1b, it's heartwarming to hear that you think so highly of my mother. She was an incredible woman; I'm lucky to have had her in my life for as long as I did. ❤️
Collier I want to know if you have talked to Lauren and Dr. John Mattie’s they are the hosts of a hidden Crime? Dr. John is very interesting 🧐 and would love to listen to both of you together..just a thought 💭✌️
I've been on their show before.
@@collierlandry could you send me a link? I was searching and didn’t find anything. I just watched Dr. Phil with you!
Weren’t there a few men in the Kennedy lineage that did horrific things to women? Do we judge the whole clan?
You should have on the Btk’s daughter
The shame that goes with suicide is the same because suicide is the opposite or the mirror of murder. And when I looked at my family tree, and saw one of my great great great grandfather’s killed himself, Christmas Day, leaving both of his kids orphans, and he killed himself because his wife died, and I just thought wow the selfishness, but I don’t tell people because there is a little bit of a shame about it. I think it’s the same with someone who comes from a murderer. You are not typical that’s why the Btk killer’s daughter puts her self out there for people who are in the same position as she was. You should have her on your show.
I saw a video you did on another case; the video shared a small portion of your story. I did a search on you to try to find out who raised you; and found out you were raised in foster care. I made a playlist of video's you made (made private) to watch more of your story. My son had a narcissist psychopath for a Dad; my ex., my son was nothing like him.
I feel for you; I will keep you in my prayers.
I hope you can find peace.
Philippians 4:7
“And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
King James Version (KJV)
Thank you so much @NYC2023-du8mg for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
@collierlandry
After doing more research, I found out you were not in foster care for long; however, adopted by a loving 💕 family.
God bless you... I couldn't stop watching videos on your dad's case. You are a brave man...good for you honoring your mom.
the kid in us maybe never grows up, never stops trying to figure out the why. I dont think we can get an answer to things but we dont let go. Wish we could.
Thank you so much @marzymarrz5172 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
😢😢😢😢😢
I can see and understand both sides of this coin. However, I don't have a strong enough opinion on either side to speculate what I would do if I was on your mothers side of the family.
I can understand how you want to family lineage as I really know nothing about either side. Perhaps it's a good thing?
I say this with respect, I think maybe you're better off not knowing as well. Keep the stories your mom told you (if any, and if she didn't, I think there's a reason) close to your heart, that's the family she wanted you to know.
Sorry I am ranting. You are so not your father’s son!! That is so insulting!! Who risked his life to get his own father caught? Who has devoted his life to tribute his mother’s memory? Who overcame the horror and seeks to help others? Your mother did an awesome job raising you, and the foster family did an awesome job carrying on her work. You are a tribute to how nurture is so much more important than your DNA.
I cant see any resemblance to your father none.And he was probably studying and working nighthours when you grew up so clearly your mom had the biggest influence on you I was married for decades to a suŕgeon and raised 3 sons .I know the hours they work plus the mistress your dad had that took up some of yours and your moms time as well .
Thank you so much @susanl5682 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!
💙
Well doesn’t drew Peterson don looks like him and even talks like him but he didn’t come out like his dad…but they hated his son because he looked like his dad..
You're dad planted a seed in his head.
You have your mom's genes of course !
It's incredibly hard for people to understand extremely toxic families that almost all of them are horrid.
We can 🥫 nou understand what we have experienced.
Every minute of hese kinds of cult families is clouded in darkness.
Thank you so much @jooliagoolia9959 for watching and commenting! Have a wonderful day!