Girlfriends Have This Effect On Men
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2023
- Have you ever seen a man significantly improve his look or style after acquiring a girlfriend? Well, you may have watched a man experience the girlfriend effect. Let's get into it.
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Neither “boyfriend air” or “girlfriend air” is solely positive or negative. Women help men realize they should value how they look, and men help women realize their looks aren’t the only thing of value.
That's probably the best take on the whole thing that I've ever heard.
Beautifully put!
That's pretty ironic and a bit of an oxymoron though lol. One's helping value their looks whilst the other is telling women looks aren't everything.. lol. May not be to him, but it sure is to her.
@@nukiesduke6868because men only care about look at the start of a relationship and then the only thing that matters is personality
@nukiesduke6868 it's finding the balance, not focusing too much on looks while also focusing enough to look presentable. Men and women compliment each other that's how God made us
Solely having a girlfirend boosts men's confidence by 200-300%
That's why men do so much better in a relationship when it comes to not needing external validation or attention. You just saying you want to be with us is a shot in the arm to our existence. A genuine compliment with reciprocity about our polo or maybe some sort of thing we did will last us for weeks since we all remember the five compliments we randomly got in public since we were born. A lot of women on the other hand seem to feel like they are dying on the inside when they don't get external attention. The women in the one clip even says as much. There has be a balance somewhere.
@@joshuasterling2144 exactly , once i talked to a girl and that alone increased my productivity by 160% on that day
Tell me you have low self worth without telling me you have low self worth.
@@scout3058 i don't have low self worth i'm stating facts , what actually happens
@terminator_x.24 Sure, if the guy had self worth issues to begin with thete is a 2 to 300 % jump. But men who find their worth within vs from other people...that jump is negligible.
My boyfriend saved my life when it comes to how I look and dress. When I got with my bf, over a time period of like a year, I lost 30 pounds, stopped dyeing my hair and shaving the sides, took out most of my piercings and my gauges, and stopped dressing like a male adolescent anime character. I take him shopping with me every time I buy new clothes and I've never felt more beautiful. The well-dressed conservative man influence is so real.
Good for you!
I hope to be that influence with the girl I'm currently talking to.
Update: She's now my girlfriend. Wish me luck.
Wholesome story.
W woman
W gf, W woman, W everything
The "girlfriend effect" happened to my dad. He was not my moms type at all, scrawny, smoked cigars, had long curly hair, and was in a band. When they started dating she told him to start dressing better, cut his hair shorter, and gain some more weight. They have now been married for over 20 years.
Edit: The replies are just plain ridiculous. You can still be attracted to somebody even if they are not your type. The only reason why he wasn't my moms type was because he was unhealthy. He was way too skinny, and smoked cigars, he came from a family with alcohol and abuse, and had a kid at 16, my mom didn't change him against his will, he wanted to change. So other than his bad health, my mom was attracted to him. When they met they were working together and they fell in love. My dad is so much happier now. Mind your own business and don't make assumptions without knowing the whole story. My dad has went through so much before he met my mom, and my mom wanted to help him because she loved him.
Not your moms type, yet she got with him... yeah makes sense.
@@Menace2Society9 that's my point. You can still like someone or be attracted to them and their not your type. My mom made him healthier. Why so rude?
@@Packet_Loss029 He's much happier now. He came from a family with alcoholism and abuse, and he had a kid at 16. He was unhealthily skinny and smoked cigars, he knew it was bad, he admitted it to my mom and told her he wanted to change so she helped him. He thought my mom was beautiful, he literally asked my mom "are you the blonde mermaid?" So he may have changed himself, but it helped his mental health and now he is baptized, 5 kids, a great job, and in school studying the bible.
@@Packet_Loss029 I understand how it seemed that way. I agree with you on that
Yep and women these days won't even consider dating a guy unless he's perfect
One coworker I had really wasn't taking care of himself. Cargo shorts and a t-shirt every day, barely wore deodorant,wasn't keeping hair and beard groomed was clearly depressed and irritable. He was about 30.
He got a love interest and suddenly that man started lookin sharp. He's married now and he's kept on dressing nice and it's been some years. He seems so much happier. She works there now too and she's a really cool chick. I'm happy for them.
And what is wrong with cargo shorts and a t-shirt?
What's wrong with cargos
@@saulgoodman2018😂😂😂 she done woke up the men who keep dick sport goods profitable. How dare you insult these classy gentlemen. I bid you a good day young lady. 😂
@@saulgoodman2018 I agree but i think its better that he's in a good position.
that is amazing
When a woman treats you right and she says "I like when you do this" we tend to cater to her. Plus if it gets us compliments we would gladly change things
Yet when a man says “I like when you do this” it’s sexists, controlling, and the patriarchy. The irony of how sexist a lot of women are 😂
no way? when guys are appreciated for doing something we do it more? who'd have thunk
If you have to change who you are for anyone else then you are weak and honestly I wouldn't even look twice at you!
My wife used to have problems with her skin, leading her into a vicious cycle of putting on more makeup. I encouraged her to try to go more natural, and sure enough, her skin cleared up after a while. I'm convinced that makeup has poison in it to create a vicious cycle of insecurity.
Well makeup actually destroys your skin so.....
@@silvy7394, that doesn't surprise me. There's no way putting that stuff on your face doesn't cause problems, especially if you're doing it every day.
The issue with "boyfriend air" is that it demonstrates the "I dress this way for me" line is a complete lie for most women. If she was making sure she was dressed to the 9s before dating you (or even early in the relationship) and is now barely taking showers, she was not dressing for herself before; she was dressing to attract you. It is a bit like the guys that workout so they can get a girlfriend only to stop once they get a girlfriend. The guys are not telling these girls not to take care of themselves and put effort into their appearance!
100% agreed
Personally, “I dress this way for me” only works with daringly unique and eccentric looks that go against the grain-you know others probably won’t like it, but you do, so it’s for you. Showing skin isn’t style and revealing your body isn’t “dressing for yourself” lmao it’s not even “dressing.” But showering also isn’t dressing-that’s basic hygiene. If she’s struggling with that then she might be struggling with her mental health
yep. it proves they only dress good for attention from other guys and to spite other women.
Now do “the marriage effect” where everyone lets themselves go because they feel like they don’t have to keep up appearances for their life-partner.
Lol sounds like the pre divorce effect 🤣🤣
Followed presently by the diminishing of the sex drive.
If both of you give up trying for that bf/gf energy it will eventually inevitably lead to attraction dying too, and the sex drive with it.
Fastest way to turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it
@@Farmnflyin @DuncanClair no, marriage isn't the catalyst. It's when both people stop investing in the relationship, in each other. The pursuit stops. The value and appreciation stops. Since people don't know how long they have with their loved ones in this life, taking anyone for granted is a very idiotic mentality.
Wow. Must suck to be in that kind of marriage. An open lack of self respect is a pretty big red flag.
My boyfriend effect was actually positive lol. I lost weight (I was fat) and I started wearing the pretty clothes I always wanted to wear. He was happy to encourage me to continue going to the gym (I wanted this) and he always complimented me whenever I wore the dresses and skirts that the grown adults in my life growing up always had something negative to pick out about them. My bf saw the potential in me lol
I feel like that's what would happen to the majority of big women if they just stopped resisting and just got a boyfriend that'll help them go to the gym and be their gym partner.
W bro that's how it should be tho everything my girl wears I think she looks perfect and beautiful asf In and she wants to loose weight and me anyways who does go to the gym asked her come with me so now she does and she thanked me for actually giving her the confidence to go and make her comfortable there so she always says thank you but either way I loved her I loved her when she was big I love her the way she is now I didn't care too much because to me she is just perfect
@@Jane-ow7sr I think there is a statistical anomaly where women tend to "let themselves go" quicker than men when getting into a serious relationship, whereas for men it's usually the opposite (at first) where they "become a better man" after getting into one themselves.
I think it comes from the fact that for a lot of women these days trying to maintain peak physical health can be a mental strain, and by getting into a serious relationship they've essentially "settled down" and feel they don't have to try as much. However like I said, men seem to want to "prove" to their partner that they were a good choice, and thus try harder. This is why divorced men have higher rates of remarrying, because often times they leave those relationships better off compared to divorced women. Alot of it also has to do with when men & women are in their physical prime too, of course.
Edit: didn't get to the 'boyfriend effect' segment before commenting, but yeah it's that but scaled up with the age and maturity of the relationship.
Sounds cute sir shrooma but fr most women never even approach peak physical condition. It's extremely rare. And those that do are all insta thots.
@@Jane-ow7sr "Resisting..." Lol. 🙃😅
Not me out here going to the gym, getting fit on my own, meeting new people, and still not finding a man. 😭
Yo Brett, your editor deserves a raise. Whoever you are, you elevated my mood, and thank you for that.
I started dressing so much nicer and more feminine ever since I started dating my husband a couple years ago. Not because he made me feel like I should, he will literally say I’m beautiful after crawling out of a sewer, but because I feel safe and confident enough to wear things that are fun and that don’t hide who I am. And personally I like making an effort to look beautiful around him
Girl same! When I met my husband I started to invest more on enhancing my natural feminine features. Now even with kids and my body has morphed throughout the years, I still stay relatively the same with my feminine style. It’s just become more comfy. Like I like wearing dresses like I’m a modern day mage lol
He’s also gotten hotter and has invested in wearing more accessories with his outfits like shades and watches. He cleans up for me when I tell him he doesn’t have to, but hey that happens vice versa lol
Wow, women with actually healthy mindset and appreciating their boyfriends/husbands? It's something new and fresh after seeing constant hate against men in social media.
❤
"Boyfriend effect" was the opposite for me. When I got a boyfriend, I started dressing cuter, styling my hair different, wearing a little jewelry, and in general, just started caring about how I looked. Before I met him, my normal outfit was t-shirt and jeans, tennis shoes, and a ponytail. No makeup and no jewelry. Now, though, I pair the jeans with a cute blouse, I actually style my hair, and put on some earrings and sometimes a necklace. When I'm really tired or working on something messy, I'll still go with the easy "comfort clothes", but even then, I try to pick a t-shirt that's a little more tailored than my old style.
If "boyfriend effect" has a negative effect on you, maybe you should focus on playing up your natural beauty and see where that takes you. 12 pounds of makeup, fake hair, and 6 foot nails make you look really fake, not really attractive. What your boyfriend sees is that if you dropped all that nonsense and focused on doing your natural hair in ways that become you, and take care of your natural nails and skin, you would be much prettier without all that stuff.
Beautiful!!!!
kindness can make even the average person insanely attractive
Welcome to Equilibrium
I think the girlfriend effect is usually more positive bc men take criticism, especially constructive criticism, better than women usually. Where as with boyfriend air, women get comfortable bc they have a man so they don't have to impress the general public anymore. And men compliment their girl so it reinforces the comfort. But the extreme is getting too comfortable and we know what happens after that. Key point is to always work towards constantly improving for yourself and for each other so you both win in the end.
Very interesting take. I think this is very true
I can totally agree on that, we men take constructive criticism well, but most times we dont have anyone who can give that. Girlfriend effect is real
I don’t think that either is more positive than the other
I think it’s beta to let someone tell you how to dress as a man you should know what’s raw and far out and dress with a pulse. not play fashion “safe”
@@MrDopeAss So it's alpha to be obsessed with the latest, in vogue fashion trends and dressing yourself like someone from Zoolander? Strange take. 🤔
It's funny how we girls are claiming that it's the boyfriend's fault for our "glow downs". The boyfriend effect is our subconscious response to our increased comfort levels. The girlfriend effect is our direct influence on our boyfriend's appearance. It's our doing both of the time😂
Completely accurate, glad you get it. Women control and benefit from both. Men sort of benefit from the gf effect if they maintain the changes after breaking up.
I’ve been with my bf for almost 2 years and since then I’ve completely shifted who I am, for the better! When we first met I was edging 200 lbs, my hair was super short and damaged from bleaching and dying it, I had multiple piercings, I dressed like a thot, and I wore crazy ass makeup. He got me into the gym and helped me feel worthy of being loved. I’m now down to 145-150, my hair is at my shoulders and it’s so healthy and beautiful, I removed all my piercings except my ears, and I’m typically bare faced or very natural makeup! I’ve never felt more beautiful, and I’m very proud of the progress that I’ve made! I tell him all the time that he lives up to his name, Angel 😂❤️
My brother in law experienced the wife effect. It was a lot more than clothing. And he gave her the daily gift of laughter. They are a perfect match.
This made me smile thank you. What a wholesome beautiful comment.
My parents are the same way lol. My dad is the kinda guy that wears ancient clothing with gaping holes in them out of the house, and my mom is the type to consider blouses, skirts, and slacks as “casual”. Two such wildly different people, yet they’re just as wildly happy with each other
Aw! 🥰
That's some wholesomeness we all need right now, how beautiful ❤
@@frightfactory1 well they've been going strong for at least 15 years now...
To explain the mentality of the "girlfriend effect", it mostly comes from two factors 1. 'I don't dress nice for myself but the sake of others' 2. Generally, guys are much more confident and happy when in a relationship, confidence + happiness = better self care
This.
I’m not sure about the happy part but the confidence part makes sense
@@TheSaltySpitoon69 why would u not be happy in a relationship, if someones not happy just break up?
Facts
@@TheSaltySpitoon69 lol. Truth. Unfortunately.
I experienced the boyfriend effect, in a positive way.
I used to dress very tomboyish and my boyfriend (now husband) made me start dressing more feminine.
Lol it did the opposite for me, before I got a boyfriend I dressed so tomboyish. literally not flattering at all. He asked me to wear a dress once just so he could see it and eventually he started talking me into dressing more girly. I feel so much more comfortable in my skin now and he compliments me every day and I love him for it. He brought the "beautiful girl" out in me.
My brother's ex girlfriend had the opposite effect on him. He had longer soft wavy hair, always dressed kinda sharp and classy. Classy dress shoes, cool jeans and polo shirts, etc. Always looked more mature and clean. She gave him an ugly cut that didn't go with his features. She then insisted he had to wear ugly graphic hoodies and ugly super baggy colorful shirts. Ripped jeans. And it wasn't even a cool messy look. He looked homeless. She was kind of an e-girl. She wanted to dress him according to her own liking.
He's now gone back to his old style and has been cleaning up his look. Gosh, she messed everything up.
Lol
My friend changed a ton when he got a girlfriend, but arguably for worse in my opinion. Sometimes "the girlfriend effect" can be a bad thing.
Was for the two guys she showed, went from minor chad to femboy.
@@Thorgon-Crossyeh looks great
Most times. That's why I confused by this video.
@@Thorgon-CrossI'm so confused. They would still have the same body type and mannerisms at the end of the day.
@@ackzk Yes and? I did not say anything about body type or mannerisms, why are you bringing those up?
A friend of mine started dating a girl and actually did tell her she should lose weight and they are married now. He told her after a few dates that she is pretty but she'd look even better if she started working out and trimmed down and that actually worked somehow.
Always appreciate your content because in this day and age, you’re one of the few voices of reason out there. And to top that off, you’re not half assed in any of your arguments. I really appreciate you and your content, and look forward to more. Thank you so much!
“Grown men don’t dress for comfort. We dress for outcomes” - Kevin Samuels.
A bespoke suit from a decent tailor is comfortable. It's like wearing pajamas.
Amd his outcome was dying in his early 50s, what a great role model. Maybe a bit of comfort would've kept him alive a bit longer.
@@Mist3rEMDied from too much stress dealing with post-wall delusional used up women trying to get them to understand reality 🤷
Yeah no.
@@Mist3rEM bro what, you cannot outdress high blood pressure
“I needed a snap back to reality”
Brett: “You shouldn’t LOSE YOURSELF in a relationship.”
Well played.
WO A H
I was looking for this comment
oops there goes gravity...
The attention thing is what got me, who's attention is she craving when she's in a relationship and he's fine/happy with her relaxed look?
I'm glad I wasn't the only one.
boyfriend/girlfriend effect is a REAL thing. I've been with my husband for 7 years, married 2 and just had a baby 6 months ago. I have been called "beautiful" more now than I ever did when we started dating and was wearing makeup everyday with well thought out outfits, etc. Now I'm literally in bagging t-shirts (usually covered in spit up stains or baby food lol) with biker shorts or leggings on a regular basis. This makes my husband sound so bad lol but the point I'm trying to make is that my husband thinks I'm the most beautiful when I'm all natural just being a mom and wife and I have NEVER in my life felt so confident. I no longer feel the need to dress up or that I have to look my best 24/7.
Opposite to that, my husband DOES NOT buy clothes for himself. He asks me to buy things for him, knowing that I see him in a different perspective and know how to dress his body shape and know what style looks good on him. it's W I L D.
This is so funny! My husband definitely had the girlfriend effect when we started dating. He definitely went from slightly awkward to HOT! Definitely turned the heads of the girls who rejected him. 😂
As someone far removed from the dating scene, it seems that the guys didn't care enough about their appearance and the girls overdid it. The relationship effect is to bring them into an equilibrium.
Right. I’m under the belief of never letting another person mold you into what they want. Why not? Because a part of them won’t respect you or trust you to make your own decisions.
@@FaithFallRepentGraceRepeat Yup. Just commented this. My brother's ex did that with him. Chose his whole wardrobe (she completely f*cked up his classy style) and demanded that he did this and that. She called all the shots. We all knew she would screw everything up from the start when we noticed her bossy attitude. She's now an ex...
Meh.
To me the men looked like sketches of men modelling really bland clothes that I might expect to see in a fashion magazine.
The thing I noticed most clearly about the change on the men is the color in their outfit is crushed flat.
Being with a woman literally makes them more conservative in dress code - no wonder mens clothing is steadily shrinking to nothing in department stores......
Yes my sentiments exactly. The women thinking they looked like sewer rats when they dropped all that fake stuff… Nah, they started looking less plastic and more like a real person. 😂 The guys started looking more approachable and less like a basement dweller.
Sometimes both effects can go too far and become negative, but optimistically it brings positive balance.
My ex had such a positive boyfriend effect on me. I used to be pretty lazy when it came to dressing up and fashion. I used to be super skinny to the point that it was unhealthy. He changed that in me and I in turn made him a whole more serious about business and school. It CAN work both ways.
Why did yall break up?
@@AJ-dn6ejI was about to say, it can’t of been that Positive if he’s an Ex 😂😂😂
You mean you got fat, bitched at him to make more money, cheated anyway and ruined a good thing?
Ya what we men look for is a girl who is serious about business and school ….congrats you learned nothing about what men want 😂
But were you a hobbit on his bed ?
I'm sorry bit the girl in the video that said that was cracking me up
woww you are almost at 4 million subscribers that is amazinggg. well done breth.
this channel keeps reminding me how much I love this channel. yeah,and how Breth has such a beautiful view of life.
No we don’t really care how we dress, we could wear almost anything and we wouldn’t feel embarrassed, thats just how guys are, we just don’t really care how we look 99% of the time
The fact that I’m always getting dirty at work and doing things at home further makes me not care. Plus my girl likes when I show I’ve worked hard in a day. She does up my fade and everything. But I basically wear black or grey and don’t care. The whole man purse thing I would never do though. Just get a backpack or something. But I digress. Just do you kings.
@@johnathancooper9476 you got it man, most guys, including myself, we could have one set of clothes for a week we would be fine
@@RainPrime For real dude. I generally wear two or so outfits for work and until I’m done for the day. Then pajama pants and chill stuff. Days off I like to look alright but the haircut really does wonders. Some dudes look completely different. A lot of ladies do appreciate a simple man. They’re not trying to get with a female.
@@johnathancooper9476 yep simple is the trick, lot of guys try to over do it when it comes to trying to impress a girl. I’m not trying to brag at all, but ‘bout a year ago I was wearing a raggedy old shirt, jeans, slides and I had long hair, and During the summer a random girl approached me at my camp and even since then we’ve been talking and have been together since july of 22 simple is just the way to go man that all you need, and again I’m not trying to brag at all, just trying to tell my story that goes along with simple stuff and not having to dress to nice just being nice and simple
Well said. Guys who are concerned with what is really important don't place a whole lot of value in superficiality. Obviously, we don't want to look and smell like a hobo either. But guys who spend a lot of time on their outward appearance are actually quite shortsighted. I learned this the hard way.
I love that last quote, "You look better without makeup". I honestly know so many girls who what looks like pounds of make-up on when they really do look beautiful anyways. I'm not saying make-up is bad or shouldn't be used but sometimes it's a little much and it feels like natural beauty was forgotten.
Only beginners put pounds of makeup. Women who are experinced know how to put as little as possible but look as good as possible.
Right. Even Brett can get carried away sometimes. It's really rare for it to be shown on her videos (I think her team does a good job to keep it relatively natural looking), but after viewing her posts on Instagram... yeah, she can be a little caked up sometimes when it's not for a vid
@user-rx7uh9mg4f I've seen its pretty common for brides to be caked up on their wedding day. Like WTH?!?!
I like natural but SLIGHT eye make up and lipstick can really wow me.
Watching potencial in someone and give them confidence, it´s so precious and needs to be praised...
The ruff greens transitions are getting better and better
I go out of my way to dress and appear homeless - women flock to me because they feel I need to be fixed. Or they think I have drugs.... I'm convinced I've cracked the code. Single men, you're welcome.
Do you have drugs...? Cause I'd like so-
XD
Yup im still single but the "I can Fix You Effect" is something you have to exploit to get a better girl that you can grow with
👨🌾
Hahahahaha
Bruh...all of a sudden girls start coming up to me asking for drugs when I grew my hair out...crazy.
I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and a half, so I've seen her without her makeup like a million times. She has often said that she looks like a homeless person , but I genuinely just think she's gorgeous. I still love it when she dresses up. Of course I do. But I genuinely see her as beautiful, not just the makeup.
I remember seeing this when it started and actually really liking it 😄 love your point here, too - it’s about listening and having a wholesome heart attitude. ☺️
I think a lot of it comes down to female competition: when a woman is single, she'll pretty herself up. She markets herself at her best. This isn't just for potential mates; she does it to outshine the competition.
When a woman is in a committed relationship, her attention tends to go towards improving the guy. This is her way of elevating her status among women by having a desirable partner.
Painting with a broad brush, but I think that's part of it.
And she forgets to take care of herself herself while she's taking care of her man and the kids she had so he leaves her for a younger model because she "let herself go".
@@deniseharris9320 Statisistically it’s more like her leaving because the man got too boring. 75% of all divorces are initiated by women.
@@deniseharris9320 You're going to the extreme. "No one should let themselves go" male or female. Still take care of yourself no one's saying not to, what it means is to not be a model with makeup face, fake lashes, long nails etc.... 24/7.
The first one she made her man go from school boy to lesbian
@jmagicd9831 well, when women work full time jobs, are responsible for the majority of all the childcare and domestic work in the house and generally (not always) don't get a lot of support from their husband who is at a statistical standing of 25% of cheating on her (compared to her 15%) and for the first time in all of human history she can look at the situation and say to herself "I'm making my own money, taking care of the kids and the house practically by myself and I don't have to stay with him after he cheated on me" it's not hard to see why 70% of women file for divorce.
I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years. And I've never felt more beautiful than I have with him. I don't wear makeup and he makes me feel confident and reassures me that I am beautiful with no make up on. Same thing for him, he has definitely gotten better over the years. As far as his outward appearance, he knows that he is a reflection of me and man that I chose to be with.
same with me though its only been a year :3 it really seems like if your not overly concerned with your looks, the "girl friend effect" works on both sides x3
He still reassures you? So you are saying without it, you are lost on your appearance. You need to be constantly told you look a certain way to paint a picture of reality. Women and their “logic”.
This is interesting! I don't know if I can speak for my husband - he already had a great sense of style when we met in my opinion. I do know for myself, not so much when we were dating, but after we got married I really did stop doing a lot of the "self care" stuff I had been in the past. Some, I would like to get back into, but it was a combination of not spending as much time on myself as I used to, and not feeling any pressure to perform or doll myself up for him. He is so accepting and encouraging even to my physical insecurities that I can just chill and be myself with him and feel 100% loved
I definitely had the BF effect on my husband, but long term my husband has greatly helped me with my personal style! I dressed more cute and innocent when we first met and he's helped me feel more comfortable dressing womanly. I still wear cute outfits for me often enough, but my style has greatly expanded. I get sooooo many more compliments when I wear the things he picks of buys me. His input in make and hair has been very helpful also.
I don’t have a girlfriend and I dress with style.
i respect your confidence in saying that lol
Same
You dropped this: 🧢🧢🧢
Good for you
Suuuure.
Bro her editor is a Team Four Star fan and it's great
Keep it up fr
Well this whole video has given me such hope
As a guy, you are correct. We are not intentionally trying to get women to stop trying to control them. That’s awful…..and takes way too much thought 😂
Yeah that's at the bottom of the thought pile
We don’t want woman to stop trying. No guy wants to be married to the woman who stopped trying for 20 years and now you’re married to a gremlin 😂
True. When I get home from work I dont want mind games, power games, drama. I just want to relax and have some good time with my lady
Women get nails, make-up, extensions, highlights, spray tan, etc. For other women.
@@SubvertTheStatethey really do
As a woman, with current style of fake lashes, crazy pumped lips and layers of tint on your face- I'm with the men on the "boyfriend affect".
Dude I love Brett but I honestly I don’t know if it’s her own script or if it’s a team effort but her best talen is how smoothly she goes from the subject into a sponsorship!! Like it’s crazy how smooth! I’m like ohh cool her dog then Bam! Advertising!
Ive had a lot of friends do this, and i was super happy for him!
Hmmmm 🤔 there’s a double standard here. If a man starts dictating how his woman dresses, it’s seen as very toxic and controlling and a major red flag in female circles. How is it okay the other way around, even if the man arguably looks better?
You are applying too much logic my brother. It's best to just tell them to kick rocks when they try to change you. It's a shi*t test and most men fail. If she can change you, and make you start wearing things you don't like, she has won her own little mind game. Only part take if you are actually interested her changing up your sense of fashion.
But most men don't want to part take, they do it to not lose access to sex, to keep the peace, and that right there is why men fail the shxt test. It's a sh*t test for sure.
Was she dictating though? He talked about her suggestions. I think it's all in the approach. Any emotionally mature woman should be able to handle constructive criticism and suggestions from an emotionally mature man who can communicate effectively.
Its kind of like girl-math. 🙃
There’s a huge difference between men doing it, who are often controlling and abusive when they do this, versus a girlfriend saying “hey you could try this and it would look better”
Facts brother. If women criticize, then they should not get offended when guys criticize them. So long as the guy is kind and charitable when he does so.
Not really. If you stick a piece of cardboard under a guy's chin and ask him what he's wearing? There's like 70% odds he won't be able to tell you without looking.
Also, the roll-in outro is the best outro.
what a beautiful voice, greetings from Spain!
I feel like men do this before getting a girlfriend as well. We do it to look more presentable to potential partners so we are more attractive before the relationship.
Unfortunately so many men aren’t even looking for women anymore.
I always made sure my clothes were legal and didn't look stupid. Other than that I didn't care. In junior high I accidentally wore my mom's pants to school. I didn't notice till she pointed it out.
How the heck do you accidentally wear your mom's pants to school 😂😂
How
Okay, what the hell! How does that happen?
How can clothes be illegal? Lmao
@@s0urp0wer5 Depends on where you wear them :) Club wear isn't job wear :)
I have seen the effects a good relationship can have and it goes both ways positively if you are in a good relationship. My husband taught me to love anime, to re-evaluate my faith, to explore the world, and take more risks in life. I taught my husband how to better realize is dad was an ass, to speak his mind more, and to be smarter financially. We helped each other. That's what a good relationship does.
Then there's the "wife effect" where your style goes in the opposite direction.
My boyfriend and I both preferred to dress for comfort instead of looks. I used to wear a lot of makeup but honestly I wear very minimal to none now. The only time I dress up is for special occasions and it honestly means more then to the both us because I don't do it all the time. Of course take care of yourself girlies but don't be afraid to go minimalistic there's nothing wrong with it! Thanks for the wholesome video!
Girl yes! I love having a comfortable relationship. I will make up all the time and then I stopped but he likes it better when I don't even though I'm breaking out right now. I feel like as women we stopped wearing makeup and stuff like that because we've become more confident in ourselves through our relationship.
I've always been one of those minimal women. The group of women I hung around with at the time asked myself and another woman in the group why we never wore make-up and spent ages styling our hair every day. The other woman turned to me and said jokingly "Just ignore them. They're just jealous we put in way less effort and get all the compliments for looking nice when we go out and they don't because they just look the same as every other day" lol
You absolutely want to be dressed for your lifestyle and occasions and mesh in that. I think that's key.
Brett: That looks sick.
Us: Write that down, WRITE THAT DOWN!
LOL 😂😂
😂😂😂 Perfect!
it's never going to happen m8
tragic
As a comparatively lower maintenance girlie, I think I would get "girlfriend aired" instead of the opposite once he comes along, so it's probably just a phenomenon where the introduction of a romantic partner into your life brings out significant changes in how you feel about/carry yourself
I’ve been meaning to say this for a while now, but I love that your editing team is fans of Dragon Ball Z Abridged and Hellsing Ultimate Abridged and uses such appropriate clips from them! 😂
This is very true. I’m from Europe and my boyfriend is from the US. We had a contrasting styling sense. He decided to change his dressing after visiting Europe, and I always felt overdressed in cities like Seattle. He also told me I look better in casual clothes, so I ended up in sweatpants whilst he wore polos and tailored trousers 😅
I think there is a way to be casual+ while still showing reciprocal effort for each other.
The best way to dress is to understand the room you are entering and just add small layer to what others are wearing. You won't have to ever worry about overdressing or underdressing.
Yes. During our first date, he was dressed simply but passable, then on our second date, he dressed much better. I told him I liked the clothes he wore on our second date and he didn't mind upping his wardrobe because I said I liked it. Just the other day he even sent me a picture of his new, shorter haircut.
Now I'm not sure about the other girls, but the boyfriend effect is a positive thing for me. Because I'm the type who also dresses simply. Now, I finally go on shopping trips and search for clothes that better suit me in respect to my man who was willing to do the same effort and changes as me.
It sounds like you have something healthy. We should always be encouraging our partners to grow in every way. I'm happy for you! 🥰
I think it can go both ways. I dressed nice when I met my husband, but I don't think I dressed to my potential. My husband (boyfriend at the time) would suggest outfits that I didn't think I could pull off or that I didn't even consider when we would go shopping. I honestly have him to thank for the sense of style that I have today. As for him, he's always been stylish.
it can go both ways, I tend to lose myself in relationships & quit trying so I avoid them
We want to spend time with our woman, not wait on her to do an hour’s worth of beauty prep.
This is it
Well, also, I cannot stand their perfumes, and I don't like to see all those paints and creamy substances covering their faces - looks ridiculous.
The whole thing is predicated on eyelash extensions, fake nails, tans and such looking good. A lot of dudes see that and think 'she looks insane and super high maintenance'. So if the girlfriend effect is molding men to be more appealing to women (and that's fine), then most of the alleged controlling behaviour would be effectively doing the reverse. I suspect the core of it is women are actually dressing up to maintain their social status with women.
Seems like you don't like women then buddy, nothing wrong with that. @@ThomasJohansson-mo5gf
@@victorcates9330
The irony is that actually the so called boyfriend/girlfriend effects are actually causing them to appear more like males and females do in much of the animal kingdom.
Wherein very often it is the males who are the flashy ones, and the females are the plain ones 😂
My husband has always said, “if you wear make up go for it, if you don’t, go for it. You’re beautiful no matter what.” We’ve known each other for 15 years and been married for 9
Brett is so real
Brett’s show is adorable
Yes and no, once I dress up, I really feel confident and feel good.
When I don’t get dressed in the morning I can’t even do the dishes for the day.
I remember this quote I saw somewhere years ago.
“Always dress like you might meet the love of your life.”
So that’s affected how I put myself together since. Nothing over-the-top for the occasion but never goblin mode either.
In a way, you don’t need a girlfriend to get the “girlfriend effect.” You should always dress to impress, even minimally. Don’t go to the grocery store in your pajamas. Take your bonnet or durag off. Don’t wear clothes with stains or bleach marks (unless the purpose is to get dirty).
No matter the occasion. Make an effort to look presentable on an appropriate level.
Do it before you get married, my husband still won’t stop wearing his slob shorts in public . But now won’t wear them in the house cos he knows I don’t like them 😂
I've liced by that saying too. Always dress for who you want to meet. You never know who you'll run in to.
I would say that "the girlfriend effect" also has the opposite effect. Meaning, these changes often occur after breaking up with a woman. We get motivated by the loss to better ourselves and increase our value.
I totally agree with all the points you made in your video, Brett. Half the time guys don’t really even care. When I was married and had three girls, I took their fashion advice because all I knew was nerd. They changed everything from my hairstyle to myeyeglass design to my clothing and I’m all the better for it. It is I think also, the reason why guys don’t mind if you burp or fart in front of them. It gets out of the way faster.
I remember an ex telling me that I looked bad based on my style (or lack thereof) and it has always stuck with me to some extent. I rarely dress to impress, even now, but I never leave the house without a belt and a tucked in undershirt. I don't wear open toed shoes or sandals, no sweatpants, and I only wear hoodies when working outside on my own property. I make a point to keep my cheeks, neck, and head shaved and my beard trimmed and combed. My current partner enjoys shaping my eyebrows and I suppose I don't mind that. But I will never buy clothing strictly as a fashion statement alone. I don't want to draw any attention to myself either.
Probably go to therapy
If you have to trim your beard as a woman, you're in for a rough time
So sorry she told you that, that is definetely not the way to do it. Focusing on your style, and how you present yourself to the world, is generally a good thing. (And I love your concept of a 'style uniform' when you are just running errands; it makes things a lot easier) But never let it control every aspect. You are not less worthy of respect because you wear a hoodie one day, and didn't set your hair perfectly. We are all human.
And I don't understand why men think negatively of open toed sandals. Just take good care of your feet, there are no reason why you shouldn't let your toes breath on a hot summer day. :)
@HereIAm247 I personally eschew sandals because I think it looks sloppy. It's a lazy footwear and when I'm out and about, I don't want to worry about my footwear coming off if I exert myself in any way. I clean and polish my boots about twice a month and I can tolerate some amount of discomfort on a hot day. If it truly is hot, I wear sleeveless button downs or plain white cotton shirts and that usually is about as sloppy as I'm willing to get.
in my experience “boyfriend air” has been positive! i look or think back at past style/beauty choices i made and was glad i took my boyfriends preferences into consideration, i began to see the beauty he sees, within myself. rather than perceiving his preferences as controlling or taking away from my confidence. i’ve learned to find beauty in my natural appearance much more now than i ever could.
Brett, good job with the nails. They look great like this.
You look well put together.
You've had some videos where your look was becoming more plastic and gross, but you've made a full recovery and it is a good, fresh, wholesome look.
Whoever does your 2 seconds edits is a god
My boyfriend just wants to be in sweats all day 😂 but on the other hand, I want to be in heels
Why not both?
IT ME. As I got to know my now-wife, I stopped wearing sloppy t-shirts & such and actually put some effort into how I look. And thank goodness too; my wardrobe is LEAGUES better now than when I was a bachelor.
The men I’ve dated always wanted to up level themselves after seeing me. With appearance, losing weight, going to the gym, reading personal development books etc. I never had to coach them on anything or tell them what to do
My suggestion is to let your embodiment of health speak for itself. They will feel that and naturally want to do better in order to be on your level
I think when women go into mommy mode, they end up treating the man like a son she is taking care of. So of course once he gets on his feet he may leave. Little boys always leave their mom when they grow up, so don’t treat him like one 😂
Treat him like a man and he will value and view you differently
Better yet, don’t change something that doesn’t need to be changed.
The video editor do a very good job with all of her video.
It's so great how these couples support each other and want them to be their best selves.❤
This isn’t support- it’s codependency.
I'm not sure that's support, I know it's not reciprocal because you can never safely tell a woman what wear.
@@Voltaic_Fire True it's hard to tell if a woman wants the truth or a compliment
@@7evershocked Complements and validation. They reject everything else or label it as toxic, hate speech, misogyny etc.
The moment she started talking about her pets, I knew an ad was about to come on 😂
Nice segue to the plug on the dog food. LOL 👍😉
The editor with his DBZ TFS edits and SpongeBob edits are great.
I have been with my husband for ten years and have literally never had to dress him. He takes a lot of time on his style and figuring out what he likes to wear. I like to let him express himself through his clothing choices. And also I’m too busy dressing our kids. I didn’t marry a man child I married a man. And vice versa. He tells me I look nice and I wear what makes me feel good. It’s called being an adult.
I don't think it's that straightforward. The default instinct of most men is to go for comfort and utility. Style and aesthetic does not come as naturally for men as it does for women because that's just not what we're wired to value. Style in a man is a skill that has to be taught and cultivated, and I'd even go so far as to say that most of the men to whom it comes more intuitively are either more effeminate, gay, or were brought up in a more affluent, metropolitan/metrosexual cultural environment that places greater importance upon learning such behavior.
I personally agree, but many women want control and by "helping" a man level up they gain some amount of control
@Tyler_W bro, you do realize that in the 1920s the average man put 300% more effort into his clothing than the average man today, and those men had probably 3 times the testosterone men have today? It's just being lazy
My opinion on the "boyfriend effect" is that I personally prefer women with little to no makeup and casual clothing. Girls who put on a bunch of makeup, hooker nails, eyelash extensions, and deep tans just come across as conceited to me, or like they're trying to look the way society tells them to rather than look like themselves. Imo, if you're a young, healthy weight woman, you're likely pretty just with a shower and a comb.
Yup. Imagine the guy seeing you right after a shower and not feeling surprised, cuz you look just as pretty as you did when you went for a date lol
So glad to see another guy like this. My husband got me to stop packing on the makeup and go all natural. I didn't even wear makeup for our wedding. I still rarely wear any. 2 kids and I sometimes wear something just to balance out my skin tone because sometimes I have red splotches on my cheeks. (I'm literally the only one who notices them. Lol.) It's not even a foundation and doesn't really even change my appearance at all. And then I sometimes wear mascara. That's about it unless I get solved up to go out with hubs. More guys need to encourage natural beauty because I am 10x's more satisfied with myself because of my hubs.
@@thisishisbubbles9362 A lot of men do try to encourage that but there are a F load of woman that take offence. Then start accusing the guys of being controlling. I've seen/heard plenty of women btch when men say they don't like the shoveled on make-up, the claws, the eyelashes etc.
Before I met my husband, I wore makeup all the time. I wouldn’t be caught dead without it. Now I only wear mascara.😂
I'm always reminded of that episode of Fresh prins of Bel Air where Will Smith gets locked in a freezer with his date. The entire episode is them stuck in that freezer en him realising an other bit of this girl he took on a date is fake. Her nails come off, her lashes aren't real, her hair is a wig... It's all fake. I see those girls in this video and all I think about is Will Smith... really disconcerting 😅
Kind of off topic here but I love Brett's outfit in this video. Elegant and cute at the same time. She always has such a good sense of fashion. ❤❤
THANK YOU RUFFGREENS!! We just got 5 month old puppies, and I am so excited to try ruffgreens because I want them to be their healthiest! Thank you again Brett and Ruffgreens for the amazing trial opportunity!!
So when I started dating my bf I really didn't like his clothing choices, but figured that was something I can live with and slowly change once we get married. As we've dated though he has gotten better at dressing himself. The boyfriend effect is real!
Cannot confirm or deny the effectiveness of the girlfriend affect because… because I don’t have the girlfriend unfortunately lol.
So in reality, I had feelings for this girl once and didn’t want to be a slob so I did end up fixing my self up so I had a chance. Never got a chance but I still felt the need to e better than I was for her.
I used to buy clothes for guys. It didn't really help me like them 😂
@@johnmcwick1that's good, it's always good to better yourself and if you're straight then it's likely gonna be a female that inspires you 🤯
@@terrorists-are-among-us is true, also yes I am straight lol. Ben Shapiro/Brett Shapiro was talking about it a little while ago lol
It is actually very surprising thing to hear from a young woman, but you're 1000% on point with what you saying. Many men don't care much about the looks. Of course we like it when women look nice, hot and elegant etc. but this is only like "presentation" part. As soon as we get to know you and we know how good of a person you're, how fun and enjoyable it is to be arround you, we as men just tend to care less about how you look because we know exactly how you CAN look if you want to and we don't need you to be "presenting" for anyone else because you got me why do you need to be beautiful for someone else. To be honest I DO UNDERSTAND that women want to look gorgeous for themselves also but when they are in a relationship with a good masculine man they know that they don't need that much makeup and gloss on their body as they used to because the person that is important to them knows for a fact how beautiful she is. That way women in relationships just tend to lower their "presentation" and this basically has this "boyfirend air" effect on them. There is nothing bad in this in my opinion. As of the "girlfriend air" effect I think this is also very true because even when I had no girlfriend in my teen years I used to ask my older sister many times for styling tips or how I look wearing this or that. Because just how women dress and present themselves for "themselves" so do man actually try to look good and presentable for women... It's only natural to listen on how to look better from opossing gender... As far as I know some of the best female brands with clothes are also created by man?! D&G, Cristian Dior etc. I think both boyfirend and girlfriend air has amazing effect on people since this feels them with enjoyment about themselves.
So it was the reverse for me. I looked like a freaking hobbit until I got a bf. Then he started buying me cute clothes and no he wasn’t controllingd, but I realized he has fashion sense! Totally changed my life! Now we’re married and I almost always take him shopping with me. ❤️
“We’re not getting the attention we deserve” basically spoke for every modern woman in America. Desperate for attention from strangers rather than her loved one 🤡
That's my first thought too
Exactly. No one “deserves” attention. Lady needs a cold shower and a Bible.
100% this
How did that dude even dress like that to begin with lmao. I just dress clean and clean myself and like girls who do the same haha. Some of these people take it too far for me with the amount of effort they put into every little thing. Once it hits a point 'high maintenance' is like a beacon you can see from space. If someone is going out to get extensions and all the nails and all the lashes and all of that other stuff hell to the no.
Tell a woman how to look, and how to dress. They would get so mad. And then break up with you.
You cannot act like these things are the same 🤡 it’s the approach…the women in these videos were making Suggestions. They weren’t being abusive, like most men who try to tell their girlfriends what to wear…the guys all appreciated and enjoyed it…
Guys do this all of the time. Then they think they've "made" her 😂
He literally said in his video, "I asked for fashion advice"
@@dinosaur___7209 How aren't they the same?
@@SolarShadows88 guys are always trying to have a circlejerk pity party. I am a VIIIIIIIICTIM! 🤡
Someone needs to do a compilation of the ad pivot's.
Boyfriend effect actually had a really positive effect on me once. My at the time boyfriend said that I looked beautiful without makeup. My skin during that relationship ended up clearing up like crazy, I was eating healthier and I even started working out. He also started looking nicer as well by dressing up better and getting more frequent haircuts. We started dating each other originally because we were best friends and got along really well. As long as you feel good in the relationship, supporting each other’s goals in life & you two are making each other better people, nothing else matters
As always, leading by example, Brett always dresses lovely ✨
🤣🤣😂😭😭wt
I simply loved the white color and the sleeve length.
She's said before her staff dresses her otherwise she would wear all black.💀