UEBS - MEGA TURTLE vs EVERY UNIT! - Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator

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  • Опубліковано 8 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,6 тис.

  • @LazarBeam
    @LazarBeam  7 років тому +1802

    Sorry for missing so many comments but I've been uploading at 3am for me :) still love yas

    • @teddyMapimi
      @teddyMapimi 7 років тому +16

      #ripboris

    • @JakeTheTrouserSnake
      @JakeTheTrouserSnake 7 років тому +24

      LazarBeam I just love the idea of you sitting there for at least half an hour looking for tortoises humping corpses, the shit you do for us is legendary, keep up the dumb shit, you sellout

    • @tmytarin9734
      @tmytarin9734 7 років тому +10

      LazarBeam can the turtles swim

    • @bubbasfishing1279
      @bubbasfishing1279 7 років тому +6

      LazarBeam I'm so proud to be a fan don't forget me when family guy gives u a job (like u actually know me 😂😢)

    • @mseenercraypickle
      @mseenercraypickle 7 років тому +3

      LazarBeam is a savage

  • @mackenziethedjididiei7975
    @mackenziethedjididiei7975 5 років тому +264

    And this video was when Boris the so loved turtle tortoise was born

  • @person4350
    @person4350 4 роки тому +69

    “Look at the feathers fly, look at the penguins die.”
    -lazarbeam
    A rhyme worthy of dr. Seuss

  • @bigdog7632
    @bigdog7632 6 років тому +121

    “Hey mom? How did the crusade of Australia go?”
    “Well....”

    • @bladefrost2946
      @bladefrost2946 4 роки тому

      well this comment was underrated :( but wow though 3 years have gone so fast :( before ik it ima be dead XD

  • @Dark-6678
    @Dark-6678 5 років тому +51

    4:56 slightly sunny with some sun

  • @docholiday2678
    @docholiday2678 4 роки тому +73

    Lazarbeam: “This looks like 10,000 mega turtles fighting 1,000 soldiers”
    Also Lazarbeam: *watching 10,000 mega turtles fighting 1,000 soldiers*

  • @bladefrost2946
    @bladefrost2946 4 роки тому +49

    so sad how fast time has passed it actually worries me i remember watching this late late 2017 :( this was the second time i came back wow the nostalgia is upsetting

  • @jerber2272
    @jerber2272 5 років тому +9

    7:18
    Lazar: alright I'm stepping up the dumbness levels
    Me: you have surpassed my expectations

  • @jenw171
    @jenw171 3 роки тому +3

    How to rule the world in 5 steps
    1: get a tortoise
    2:make sure your Australian
    3:become a good UA-camr with over 15M subs
    4: Name the tortoise boris
    5: you have ruled the world

  • @kotton8898
    @kotton8898 7 років тому +236

    did anyone else notice he disliked his own video at 1:54

  • @lyncolnjuan3921
    @lyncolnjuan3921 6 років тому +10

    10:11 Thar Rhymes "Look At the Feathers Fly" "Look at the Penguins Die"

  • @ConlanKeadle
    @ConlanKeadle 5 років тому +30

    "Look at the penguins die, look at the feathers fly" lazar 2017

  • @cisummusic22
    @cisummusic22 7 років тому +138

    this is your funniest video in a long time i laughed my ass off

    • @haydentgw460
      @haydentgw460 7 років тому +1

      Cisum Music me to hahaha lol

    • @benbelcher7665
      @benbelcher7665 7 років тому +2

      Cisum Music also how bout more Conan

    • @Hourovernight
      @Hourovernight 7 років тому

      Cisum Music fuck me

    • @sst1302
      @sst1302 7 років тому +3

      I went through 17 pants

    • @indigov1438
      @indigov1438 7 років тому +2

      Lazar beam u should do chuck Norris vs chuck Norris and then do overpowered Boris vs chuck Norris and see what happenes.anyway love your vids keep up the good work!

  • @gudusername1509
    @gudusername1509 6 років тому +89

    1:56 lazarbeam dislikes his own vid😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂lol

  • @caferreri11
    @caferreri11 7 років тому +11

    I found your channel after watching JackSepticEye's video on this game. It looked so awesome and I wanted to see more of it. And then I stumble upon a video of 5000 footmen getting viciously, brutally, and savagely massacred by a fully automatic catapult. . .and now here I am watching an army of tortoises waging a war against everything from penguins to Chuck Norris.
    I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. You have earned the sub! Heres looking forward to more laughs in the future!

    • @xrepace4344
      @xrepace4344 2 роки тому

      Laughing doesnt exist anymore.

  • @theyellowunoreversecard3711
    @theyellowunoreversecard3711 5 років тому +13

    8:46 constant newks! 😂😂

  • @anthonytang3012
    @anthonytang3012 6 років тому +25

    Me: **see's the turtle fighting**
    **Top ten anime battles**

  • @johngwaspari151
    @johngwaspari151 6 років тому +28

    Best part is "THIS IS SO EXTREME" when the 2 tortoise were gonna kill each other

  • @shayreilly7943
    @shayreilly7943 7 років тому +200

    its just BORRIS!!!!!!!!!! hehehe thumbs up if you got the reference

    • @marvelmonkeyboy1773
      @marvelmonkeyboy1773 7 років тому +2

      shongin bendy and the ink machine yes we all know boris the wolf

    • @afioyhac5432
      @afioyhac5432 7 років тому +1

      that russian guy who is also a great cook xdd and teaches 12 yearolds how to make alchocol

    • @greenarrow1717
      @greenarrow1717 7 років тому

      There not turtles there teenage mutant ninja turtles

    • @kimsmythe7584
      @kimsmythe7584 7 років тому

      ITS GOOD OLD BORIS THE WOLF NOW LET BORIS TROLL U EITH CLOSING THE ELEVATOR ON U WHEN BENDYS AFTER U

    • @aesherskye3500
      @aesherskye3500 6 років тому

      You really should not ask for likes. You should let them come on their own.

  • @xxxtakaji-kaixxx9016
    @xxxtakaji-kaixxx9016 4 роки тому +7

    No legend has been told when Kingdom’s were saved by these Turtles and his army...but it wasn’t just the army of mega turtles it was
    The legendary Boris who took on fight’s and bashed them up and pushed them as they roll them down the hill

  • @stevenchin387
    @stevenchin387 5 років тому +24

    10:07 Battle of the flightless!

    • @leftorionn1981
      @leftorionn1981 4 роки тому +2

      When phil swift takes the wrong chicken wire

  • @madisonkerr7405
    @madisonkerr7405 5 років тому +14

    14:10-14:25
    Me: *Alexa!...how do you become lazerbeam's turtle?*

  • @leahmoi6707
    @leahmoi6707 4 роки тому +11

    Nobody
    Literally Nobody
    Lazarbeam: BoRiS tHe TuRtLe ToRtOuIs

  • @CountVideo
    @CountVideo 4 роки тому +2

    Lazar:AMAZING
    1 Hour later
    Lazar:I can speed this up AMAZING

  • @rodgerlimeseed6274
    @rodgerlimeseed6274 7 років тому +6

    Lazarbeam -
    Putting the fire rate of archers/catapults/etc to 1000x makes them fire faster than the game can handle in real time. In order to actually have them fire 1000x faster, you must slow the game down to .5 or .25x speed so it has more time to process what is going on.
    In one of your previous videos you actually did this - by using slow motion to view your super archers' arrows you allowed the game more time to compute and you can see their cloud of arrows get even denser. Only then will your arrows truly blot out the sun.

  • @that_kool_guy5303
    @that_kool_guy5303 6 років тому +31

    10:40 I couldn’t stop laughing

  • @newtgaming1881
    @newtgaming1881 6 років тому +22

    Lannan should buy a turtle and name it boris

  • @xWatexx
    @xWatexx Рік тому +4

    Back in the day when LazarBeam did more than Fortnite. I was here when this was new.

  • @phillip11233
    @phillip11233 7 років тому +5

    Hello I'm a new subscriber. I watched your last video on the fully automatic catapults and fell in love with the content. Keep it up! You are doing things right :)

  • @idfkjude
    @idfkjude 7 років тому +4

    im so happy to find this channel omg so funny

  • @bluewolf1278
    @bluewolf1278 5 років тому +41

    I luv penguins😭😭😭😭😭😭😭.anyone in 2019

  • @philipkritski7677
    @philipkritski7677 4 роки тому +1

    When lockdown ends since corona but you realise you Just had house arrest for ten minutes 4:42

  • @millertimeast
    @millertimeast 7 років тому +50

    I think lazarbeam gave those turtles some cocaine off camera😂

    • @yoloyounis871
      @yoloyounis871 7 років тому +1

      Miller Time Music ITS AN TORTOISE

    • @noambirka4106
      @noambirka4106 7 років тому +3

      EPICYOUNIS no one gives a fucking shit

    • @ilikecheese4518
      @ilikecheese4518 7 років тому +2

      EPICYOUNIS it's A tortoise not an tortoise

    • @CrazyLurker
      @CrazyLurker 7 років тому

      whiteviper69X but a turtle is a sea animal (which means they live and needs to be on sea) while a tortoise is a land animal(which means they live and needs to be on land)

    • @giancarloespejo9629
      @giancarloespejo9629 7 років тому

      Satou Kazuma turtles can live on land..... (also tortoises..)

  • @rubydooby892
    @rubydooby892 6 років тому +9

    did any one notice he disliked his own video 1:55 😂

    • @mercedes11530
      @mercedes11530 5 років тому

      How's that funny I don't get that shit

  • @GBeagle1407
    @GBeagle1407 5 років тому +13

    7:07 it kind of looks like a bat from certain angles

  • @rohan-w6x
    @rohan-w6x 7 місяців тому

    Ah, you’ve combined a delightful mix of internet culture! Let’s break it down:
    “Skibidi”: This term gained fame from the Little Big music video titled “Skibidi.” The video features quirky dance moves and catchy lyrics. Imagine people doing the “Skibidi” dance in unexpected places, like the bathroom!
    “Toilet Gyatt”: Now, this is where things get interesting! “Gyatt” is Jamaican Patois slang for “get.” So, “Toilet Gyatt” playfully suggests someone getting down or dancing in the bathroom. Maybe it’s a secret dance party while brushing teeth or washing hands!
    “Rizz”: Ah, the mysterious “Rizz.” It’s like the secret ingredient that adds flavor to the meme. Is it a dance move? A sound effect? Or just a fun word to say? We may never know, but it’s part of the magic!
    So next time you’re in the bathroom, channel your inner Skibidi, do the Toilet Gyatt, and sprinkle some Rizz into your routine! 🚽💃🎉
    !Skibidi Toilet Gyatt

  • @anthonylaub6341
    @anthonylaub6341 7 років тому +17

    Do MEGATURTLE VS FULLYAUTOMATED CATAPULT VS FULLYAUTOMATED ARCHERS

  • @TheBrotherHoodCW
    @TheBrotherHoodCW 2 роки тому +3

    ahh the og lazar nostalgic

  • @shadowwolf12398
    @shadowwolf12398 6 років тому +13

    R.I.P Boris😢😢😠😤

  • @obnoxiouscommenter3793
    @obnoxiouscommenter3793 4 роки тому +2

    11:36
    “A seven nation army couldn’t hold me back

  • @Austinsurfs3
    @Austinsurfs3 5 років тому +4

    1:55 Lannan that’s 200,000 did you know that’s 200,000 more than me!

  • @tobylacey7613
    @tobylacey7613 7 років тому +33

    And that kids, is why *tortoises* (not turtles mr lzrbem) have a permanent slowness debuff. Poor tortoises.

    • @dsmc_stuby8442
      @dsmc_stuby8442 7 років тому +2

      F E A T H E R D U S T 😂 you bloody legend

    • @ArmyPandaGaming
      @ArmyPandaGaming 7 років тому

      Oscerwon It gets me triggered when people say turtle instead of a tortoise because they aren't alike at all! I also have a tortoise

    • @3digitsonthebac156
      @3digitsonthebac156 7 років тому

      F E A T H E R D U S T I have no idea what the difference is

    • @tobylacey7613
      @tobylacey7613 7 років тому

      Tortoises live on land. Turtles live in the water.

    • @dsmc_stuby8442
      @dsmc_stuby8442 7 років тому

      One is slow one isn't

  • @bigplays2706
    @bigplays2706 7 років тому +50

    Chuck Norris vs. Boris

    • @whtdwarfbackhe
      @whtdwarfbackhe 7 років тому +1

      Big Plays sorry to break it to you, but Norris would win. In the game, he can not be killed.

    • @chrishuber8930
      @chrishuber8930 6 років тому +1

      Big Plays chuck borris

    • @jaimeoppelt4225
      @jaimeoppelt4225 6 років тому

      Big Plays chunk noris vs chunk noris

    • @britishknuckles2903
      @britishknuckles2903 6 років тому +1

      Chunk would win cause when he dies he regenerate

  • @Adichu
    @Adichu 2 роки тому +1

    1:55 Why'd you dislike you're own video lol

  • @jjazy3439
    @jjazy3439 7 років тому +27

    lol when he said the last video had 20,000 likes, he had disliked it

  • @Cjrf11butonyt
    @Cjrf11butonyt 7 років тому +26

    Do Chuck Norris vs Chuck Norris vs Chuck Norris

  • @BlackSquid-hv4wd
    @BlackSquid-hv4wd 5 років тому +2

    0:02 who else played this 1 million times?

  • @Gav_Camaline
    @Gav_Camaline 4 роки тому

    10:12
    “Look at the feathers fly,
    And the penguins die.”
    #1 poem goes to Lannan Eacott

  • @rjon
    @rjon 7 років тому +302

    Shows screenshot of likes on his video. Disliked his own video

  • @noic7991
    @noic7991 7 років тому +5

    more kingdom and castles to plz.

  • @jamescoxiv1785
    @jamescoxiv1785 7 років тому +82

    mega turtle vs knights=Marshawn Lynch vs Cardinals Defense

  • @a_phantomgamer6801
    @a_phantomgamer6801 5 років тому

    People: *throws plastic straws in the ocean*
    Turtle: Am i a joke to you?!?!

  • @seannorton6173
    @seannorton6173 5 років тому +41

    2019? Or not

  • @gudusername1509
    @gudusername1509 6 років тому +15

    R.I.P Boris😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @1nflict1
    @1nflict1 5 років тому +2

    When lannan realizes tortoises have a melee block chance

  • @levicarpenter6810
    @levicarpenter6810 2 роки тому

    Famous words “cmon Boris! sick em sick em boris!”💀 -lazarbeam 2017

  • @RealestJitOnThePlanet
    @RealestJitOnThePlanet 6 років тому +9

    6:16 wait and you might see boris has made a picture out of dead body's just wait a few moments

  • @mr_curls
    @mr_curls 7 років тому +216

    It's a tortoise I am triggered

    • @yoloyounis871
      @yoloyounis871 7 років тому +4

      Live like a boss same I got triggerd too

    • @not_the_trifecta966
      @not_the_trifecta966 7 років тому

      Same

    • @niklasschwarz5468
      @niklasschwarz5468 7 років тому +2

      Wait... where is the difference? ^^" Sry for the dumb question but i really don't know. I'm from germany and i always thought there isn't really a difference between these 2. o.O

    • @d_fendr6222
      @d_fendr6222 7 років тому +2

      +Nic Blake Turtles are omnivores-meaning they eat both vegetation and other animals. As well as vegetation, they have been known to feed on small fish, jellyfish, and insects such as earthworms. Most tortoises are herbivores, surviving on a wide variety of vegetables, fruits, grasses and flowers.

    • @xaviera9658
      @xaviera9658 7 років тому +1

      Nic Blake basically if you try to put a tortoise in water, it will drown. Tortoises do not have fins, but turtles do.

  • @googoo1411
    @googoo1411 5 років тому +3

    7:03
    The bodies are in the shape of a turtle.

  • @deadlived8858
    @deadlived8858 Рік тому +2

    God I love how free yt felt only just 6 years ago. Now it’s just instant demonetization for just saying the word shit in the first 7 seconds

  • @FreeBilly98
    @FreeBilly98 5 років тому +7

    I know this is a year old but chuck Norris vs mega turtle

  • @hurrythepeace9443
    @hurrythepeace9443 7 років тому +14

    Please make a killer rabit from monty python

    • @bongratunrthdoxtrsh5324
      @bongratunrthdoxtrsh5324 7 років тому +6

      ffs. hes not the fucking creator.

    • @meowdynyall9284
      @meowdynyall9284 7 років тому +2

      The problem is...THERE'S NO RABBITS IN THE GAME!
      He can't make rabbit be a killer rabbit without any actual rabbits, since he needs to make a custom unit using the rabbit.

  • @samkroin1756
    @samkroin1756 7 років тому +58

    Can borris survive a nuke??

    • @reesey5524
      @reesey5524 7 років тому

      Dj Jeff Yes because as soon as he reaches 0 health it goes back to full health anyway

    • @staticvibez1686
      @staticvibez1686 7 років тому +2

      GT34L | Gaming and More! boris not chuck norris they named the mega turtle borris

    • @lowbrocodbio2806
      @lowbrocodbio2806 7 років тому +8

      My mom walked in and asked what are you watching I said watching turtles fighting

  • @rodomoyo9122
    @rodomoyo9122 4 роки тому +1

    5:19
    A glorious moment for it was the creation of BORIS!!!!!!!!

  • @maribethhagan6405
    @maribethhagan6405 5 років тому +4

    Before this I got an add of his sister advertising raid shadow legends

  • @myroleran8575
    @myroleran8575 7 років тому +13

    Boris Vs. Fully auto Catapult would be a awesome battle just put them on them on the hill that greased up death guy was on and let them go at it (P.S. Make it the slow Boris)

    • @myroleran8575
      @myroleran8575 7 років тому

      BTW I fucking love you dude just no homo

    • @jacklucas3592
      @jacklucas3592 7 років тому +1

      its not death its Deaf, its a chatacter from family guy, thats why his voice is so weird

  • @gabbyhansen328
    @gabbyhansen328 5 років тому +92

    2019 anyone?

  • @Altoframe
    @Altoframe 4 роки тому +1

    No one:
    Literally no one:
    Boris:I like murder

  • @soupnoodlesam
    @soupnoodlesam 7 років тому +27

    Try and beat chuck Norris with everything

    • @the7entity
      @the7entity 7 років тому +1

      samuel lorant you cant beat him even 100 nukes cant kill him, even chuck norris cant kill chuck norris because the game will crash lol

    • @luckylucketts5321
      @luckylucketts5321 7 років тому +1

      Chuck norris would be able to be killed if he didn't regen health, but he does so.... yeah

    • @oabagobaaaoooo
      @oabagobaaaoooo 7 років тому +6

      CHUCK NORRIS FOR THE WIN

    • @oabagobaaaoooo
      @oabagobaaaoooo 7 років тому

      Classic twelve year old.

    • @oabagobaaaoooo
      @oabagobaaaoooo 7 років тому

      MЯ. MΛПIΛᄃ
      I'm not. That's a eight-fifteen year old classic. They all say it

  • @user-qi7cq3mt8e
    @user-qi7cq3mt8e 5 років тому +3

    14:25 lmao😂😂

  • @hrskene-labbe8352
    @hrskene-labbe8352 4 роки тому +4

    I miss old lazarbeam

  • @Itzme.pat.ed1ts
    @Itzme.pat.ed1ts Рік тому +2

    Boris will live forever ❤❤❤❤

  • @brockodgaard8902
    @brockodgaard8902 7 років тому +24

    slow and steady wins the race then you can finish on her face

  • @zachwarne
    @zachwarne 7 років тому +58

    THIS IS YOUR MOST VIEWED VIDEO😂😂😂

  • @fionaforeman7661
    @fionaforeman7661 5 років тому +6

    There's a turtle in the sky with a gun in his eye

  • @thatonememe17
    @thatonememe17 4 роки тому

    6:23 Boris Really Is A Savage He Made Those Dead Bodies Into A Turtle Shape

  • @tmmy6147
    @tmmy6147 7 років тому +13

    under his face cam in battle it says weather mostly sunny with some sun

  • @Arnc.
    @Arnc. 5 років тому +3

    At 7:04 it looks like a turtle

  • @kinglayup2296
    @kinglayup2296 7 років тому +6

    do chuck noris vs chuck noris

    • @RealVerxcity
      @RealVerxcity 6 років тому

      dat boi it will go on forever

  • @praiseallah4963
    @praiseallah4963 4 роки тому

    The birth of a legend... Boris the turtle-tortoise, live long king 👑

  • @Remy-l5x
    @Remy-l5x 6 років тому +7

    Do Jesus versus zombies

  • @sahbarthegolden-tungued7436
    @sahbarthegolden-tungued7436 6 років тому +3

    Ah, i remember when he didn't just play fortnite. I miss those days.

  • @awesomeviews5279
    @awesomeviews5279 6 років тому +18

    boris vs chuck norris

    • @turnr3326
      @turnr3326 5 років тому

      Terrence Adodo r/whoooosh

    • @cnorr1s117
      @cnorr1s117 5 років тому

      He's my uncle. Chuck

  • @PleasePancakeGD
    @PleasePancakeGD 6 років тому

    your standing on your porch , eating a jar of veggieshite, and a slow wave of turtles comes over the horizon

  • @its._.d0m154
    @its._.d0m154 7 років тому +4

    I subscribed!

  • @brolletapper8204
    @brolletapper8204 7 років тому +19

    I like TURTLES

  • @africanmate8036
    @africanmate8036 6 років тому +5

    back when.

  • @shatechhh
    @shatechhh 2 роки тому +1

    Turtles and tortoises are different by these ways: 1 tortoises can’t swim in deep water 2 tortoises have bigger shells 3 tortoises have stubby feet unlike turtles, so they do have a differences 🐢

  • @jamiegraham3737
    @jamiegraham3737 6 років тому +4

    Did you really have to write I hate my life on your hand

  • @Dogey-px5tk
    @Dogey-px5tk 6 років тому +5

    LOL HE KILLED THEM ALL

  • @janicameyer5456
    @janicameyer5456 5 років тому +1

    If Left vs right was on normal speed it would be 20 minutes.

  • @amandasmith8188
    @amandasmith8188 4 роки тому

    Lazerbeam: How did I do with my third to
    Me: 35 seconds
    Lazerbeam: yaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!

  • @BraydonHopfnerr
    @BraydonHopfnerr 28 днів тому +3

    December 2024 Anyone?

  • @keagan7469
    @keagan7469 7 років тому +13

    7:28 why is there a square

    • @JohnathanTisdale
      @JohnathanTisdale 7 років тому +1

      Looks like its either a bug in the game or the pirated copy, I saw the same thing on my friends pirated copy

    • @runescapian6884
      @runescapian6884 6 років тому +2

      Johnny Tisdale its not pirated because the creators watch the vids so they add things sometimes he ask them to add so when they add it he gets it updated making it not pirated i think

    • @vladimirputin3426
      @vladimirputin3426 6 років тому +1

      it's weird, I paused on the exact frame (lucky me!) and its a vertical black rectangle in a white oval, odd, huh?

  • @MrLee-nl7rf
    @MrLee-nl7rf 7 років тому +5

    what was the white thing on the screen at 7:27 - 7:28

  • @spicedice5266
    @spicedice5266 3 роки тому +1

    Right now as am texting he is doing a live stream but this is better :D

  • @RXiLLy
    @RXiLLy Рік тому +20

    2023 Anyone?

  • @almaz2126
    @almaz2126 7 років тому +9

    Chuck vs zombies

    • @luisarista4093
      @luisarista4093 6 років тому

      alma zapata Chuck has inf helf my grammar bad

  • @gameraider176
    @gameraider176 5 років тому +3

    Anyone 2019
    Does it look like I even care

  • @willlorion4861
    @willlorion4861 4 роки тому +1

    I’m sorry but this and the tabs videos are just getting we everytime