My Dad was 46 years old when I was born. He was a great father…he never bought me things but he took me for long walks in nature and near the ocean and explained the world and life…I am older than you are now and I am still unraveling all the wonderful things he taught me.
Unfortunately a rare trait in Japan, even many parts of the world. I try to do the same with my daughter and it can be really amazing what a walk and a small talk can do.
I'm not a specialist or a parent, but since this is a UA-cam comment section, I'll weigh in on the subject anyway. It seems to me that the issue might not be with your daughter but with the beliefs you hold about children. It appears you might see children as mini-adults who develop linearly, just gaining knowledge over time. However, children develop in stages, not just in a straight line. That's why age-appropriate approaches are crucial. In this video, for example, you expect your daughter to manage her social interactions with the sophistication of an adult. Yet, she's not yet capable of understanding the long-term consequences of her actions. You expect her to adhere to adult-like standards of behavior without providing her with clear and consistent guidance. At her age, what she needs are clear rules and consistent enforcement, which is more appropriate for her level of understanding. She can understand a rule like "say hello to everyone at the bus stop". Remember, she isn't an adult, and it's important not to apply adult standards to her. Having a structure might even make her feel more secure and happy over time. From your other videos, it sounds like your parents had the opposite problem-they infantilized you, over-disciplining you even as you got older (not respecting your autonomy, etc). It’s important to not throw the baby out with the bathwater; discipline is essential, but you can’t raise children with just one tool. Parenting is a process that needs to constantly evolve to match the capacity of the child.
@@askjapan9669 I'm a French father of a 3 years old daughter and i have the same issue. She can show a lot of "adult comprehension". With her mother, we are even "shocked" to see how she can understand and acts. It's like talking and interacting with an adult sometimes and i'm not even joking or extrapolating. So when she get back to her "child comprehension" and especially her "Child comprtment (to be childish mean, etc) i'm like "???" and i feel a lil bit lost/disappointed. It's hard sometimes. I just wanna do the right thing at the right moment. Not acting too childish with her but not too adult either. At least, she is just a 3 yo girl. My sweety lil girl. Cheers guys. (Sorry for my English).
@@askjapan9669 bro I'm 29 and am still bad at these things. and there are 50 year olds who are even worse than me. You are right, all she needs is love and not parents wanting her to change :)
Exactly what @TheSpiralHero says. I would only add a few things to it. The human brain develops until the year 21 roundabout. It is mainly the frontal cortex, the place where your long-term thinking takes place. Children act as they feel like. To act like you feel alike comes from the limbic system. Thats exactly why your daughter needs your guidance. To put it in another term is: imagine yourself like a mirror for your daughter. She sees herself and the world through you as her mirror. If your mirror is a bit twisted she sees the world a bit twisted. Basically, guiding children into the world is first, and for most work on yourself.
Hey I'm a 35 year old American man. I have two boys 3 and 5 four was a hard year full of mean spirited behavior. But they come back around. Bring a good level of discipline and structure but don't be too hard on yourself when they act out.
Your English has improved so much compared to it 7 years ago. I'm sure that's because you've kept posting videos in English. You seem to choose words thoroughly, and it's easy to listen to your English as it sounds clear. Your grammar is fantastic, which I imagine shows how hard you've been working on it. This is a perfect example of "Practice makes perfect." You have so many subscribers and views because your contests are interesting, and you're trying to deliver your unique messages to people. How impressive✨You inspired me a lot! I appreciate that👍
@@user-fb3yf2xb2z Wow! Thank you for the compliment! I didn’t even imagine if my comment would reach anyone. You encouraged me so much. I appreciate it 😊
I think you should teach her to "treat others how you want to be treated yourself", but also don't force her to be friends with someone she doesn't want to be friends with. That's what my dad always told me when I was little, because I used to be mean to my classmate I didn't like.
I'm 19 years old, my parents always gave me everything I wanted but I was always aware of that. I think the most important part you should do is teach her your best principles and your wife's principles too, so that she can think about her attitudes. I suffered a little because my parents didn't teach me principles, so I ended up learning on my own.
The antidote to negative childish behavior is positive childish behavior: encourage friendly play and light trouble-making, team sports, art and music, etc. Some people need more of a push in that direction than others and it's OK to push.
Brother.. let me give you advice . Im about your age and a single Father of 2 . Who are now 19 girl , and 17 boy. She’s 4, this is totally normal. The fact you’re paying attention and using a whiteboard means you care . This is what’s important. She is lucky to have a father who cares and is a pretty cool dude. Limit her screen time. The examples you set will teach her the way. She has a brother /sibling, this a very important in teaching about being fair and sometimes others come first. Make sure she has a good friendship with her brother. He will be the one to influence her in the next few years. She’ll look up to him . You’re doing great bro. This is a far from meaningless life you have. I enjoy the videos. Thank you .
I think at 4 years old she is old enough to understand that you can hurt people with your actions. You can ask her how she would feel if she was ignored by someone she thought was a friend. You can ask something like “Why did you ignore (girl’s name) ? Do you think you might have hurt her feelings? Her answer might give you an idea of how to respond. There might be more going on in their lives than you think.
Hello! I am a younger viewer but I believe at one point you must put your foot down and show that you will not allow that behavior. As a spoiled child myself, this sort of discipline shaped me and I believe it helped me develop mature behavior. You should teach your child societal standards like how to treat people with respect and also introduce different forms of discipline like taking away things she likes in order to teach her a lesson. Parenting is an experience and there is no right or wrong in some cases. I wish you the best! And do not be so hard on yourself
without Discipline children dont learn. you are the parent, she is the child, she needs order, direction and its your job to provide it. i understand the culture in japan is diffrent but the point is still valid. if my son hit me i would make damn sure he knew what a big mistake he had just made.i wouldnt enjoy doing it but as a father its my duty to make sure they know its not acceptable. its disrespectful to you and to others if she is being mean or hurtful to you and/or others. sorry if this upsets anyone but as a father myself im just giving what advice i can.
Didn't upset me at all good advice very well spoken 👍 ill be 36 years old with no wife or children but i would still like to have children someday i feel i will be responsible for them so i will do my best to point them in the right direction they need cause i don't want my kids to be mean to anyone ethier.
@@patrioticyank4940 I wasn't sure if It would have come across as slightly negative so I said sorry just in case. But a loving but firm hand is needed with children I have found over the years.
I am a school teacher and have been teaching for over 30 years. I know that children learn from observing how others behave, especially at home. It’s important that you and your wife provide opportunities for your children to observe how you interact with others. Instead of encouraging your children to play video games on the weekends or isolating yourself at home, go out as a family and interact with others which can include with family friends or extended family. Show your daughter how to form and maintain healthy relationships. If they aren’t provided with these opportunities, they won’t learn because they haven’t had enough exposure.
You have to explain things to her so she understands when she makes mistakes. Do your best to guide her from what's right and wrong but most importantly she has to be able to understand.
I am not yet a father but I appreciate your videos a lot !! Keep it up you will figure it out !! The best thing you can do as a father is being present and do activities outside with her, the material and gifts are worth way less than precious memories with family members.
I don't know the full story, but if you don't like someone, you don't like them. If they don't get the message, then that's their problem. As long as she is not doing anything actively mean towards her, like bullying her in some way, I don't think it's inappropriate. I mean, if someone you don't like keeps trying to make friends with you but you don't like them, and they keep doing it, then that's like stalking.
Brother, I’m in the USA and 57. I so appreciate listening and being able to share part of your challenges and honesty. It’s so different and refreshing I am a retired mental health provider. What I would offer to you is this: the better your mental health and coping gets the better you will be and therefore the better your daughter’s behavior will be. Because some of the clouds of sadness and normal stress will decrease. Stronger boundaries will develop and a deeper understanding. This will break the melancholy handed down the generations. You and your wife are doing a good job. Because right now it’s your best job.
You should enroll her into martial arts. it teaches kids to channel their emotions in a healthy manor and learn self control and discipline. She has anger issues that are out of control sometimes kids need a healthy outlet.
Same with my Indian neighbors who have just moved. Her 7-8 year son is unbearable. He shouts, stomps, jumps, and being noisy almost all day and night (except when he's asleep). This kid stays at home all day (and I wonder why he wouldn't go to school). At first I was raged but more than a week with this behavior I think this kid has a problem channeling out his energy and emotions which needs to be fixed. Right now he's stomping like a mad little boy at the other side of the wall.
@@askjapan9669maybe a really good way. My daughter has also sometimes this behaviour. I will bring her also soon to a test training class of Judo/aikido/karate. Let's keep us updated if she likes it.
Sometimes when people grow up taking martial arts it conditions them to overreact to slightly uncomfortable/inconvenient situations with the mindset that it's time to "defend themselves", either figuratively or literally, and often with competitive undertones. Martial arts can created disciplined, well-behaved individuals; and it can just as easily create domineering, vindictive bullies who take their black-belt a little too seriously. I think someone put it elegantly when they said _"Do you really want your angsty teenager to know how to break someone's nose?"_
Model inclusive and kind behaviour and she will hopefully embody those values as she grows up. Encourage empathy skills so she can understand how her friend may have felt sad to be left out - an age appropriate discussion of the events and offering other solutions would be encouraged. Your unconditional love, support and attention will fill her with a positive sense of self that she carries through life. She is very lucky to have a dad who cares so deeply ❤
You yourself are kind and sensitive. This will make you feel this deeply. They are lucky to have a dad that is you. I raised two children as a single parent. I know that I made them feel loved despite not having very much. We certainly did not have all of the nice things that you enjoy. I taught my children about ‘clicks’ before they even went to school, and we revisited this conversation as a family unit. They were well liked because they would stand up for the underdog. They had talents such as art ( all you need is a pencil and paper) and also knew that school work would help them when they became an adult. I would work on the love shared within your family unit- all of those relationships. You with your wife, you with each of your children, the children with each other. This will give you so much to do. Perhaps start with a date night with your wife, and retain a babysitter for that evening out. Make sure that the sitter is kind.
You are a nice parent, sometimes you can not be too nice! she is your daughter not your friend. it is your job to shape her into a decent human beings. Its important to set boundaries. YOU are the father, SHE is the child. The moment you lose that power dynamic your child has "won". you don't need to spank a child to let it know who is boss. But raising your voice with authority once in a while is probably going to be the only way you're going to shift that power dynamic. "Don't yell at me like that i am your father" if it continues "do you want to go and sit in your room on a time out?" Never just threaten punishment always follow though. OBVIOUSLY if you've got to the point you're spanking kids you've lost.
Aside from the discipline that you have been recommended, you must teach her kindness and gratitude. Many people don’t realize that this needs to be cultivated in children, some needing more lessons than others. These are important years. You’ll be thankful for your lifetime and hers if you deal with all this now. Good luck 😉
That's the problem with most girls nowadays. I feel like parents don't discipline them enough. But of course, don't overdo it either, balance is key in all aspects of life.
It is good for all of us to be nice to others. At such a young age, we do not understand, but when our parents explain, we will start to understand. You care about others and their feelings and that is great.
You are right that she is acting on instinct and not aware of the other girl who admires her as a friend. At that age, we should not expect them to understand appropriate social behavior such as not to ignore the girl. They are very young and will not get caught up in those emotions for long. I suggest that you and your wife try to regularly get in touch with your daughter’s thoughts and feelings. Ask her why she likes the one friend more than the other. This way you can get to know your daughter better and her interests. At that age, they are still learning about themselves and you don’t need to worry about her building or breaking a long-term friendship. The friendships will come and go. But as you know, teaching her to always be respectful of others will help a lot in her social skills and building social relationships.
Social Media and friends will shape later years of her life but you are setting her foundation and values to judge those things that she will encounter. 🤔❤❤❤
Good observations. You must teach her RESPECT! Respect is such a highly valued behavior in your culture, especially for people older than her like her dad or grandfather. You should consult a children’s psychologist to determine the best way to stop this disrespect. In fact, the three of you could benefit from seeing a therapist who coach you on how to have her behave in a more respectful manner. She doesn’t have to be perfect but she needs to show you respect.
I work with children as a teacher. The best teaching tools are modeling the behavior you want to see, and being able to communicate with your child well. Discipline is important, but so are these other things. So is being CONSISTENT. Always CONSISTENT with boundaries, expectations, and consequences. At this age, children also have big feelings that they are unsure how to deal with, and they don't know how to reason through them.
You’re doing great! I was not a very nice kid either when I was little. I learned how to be nice by being excluded and ostracized myself and then developing empathy for people by learning more about their circumstances. I was only sort of nice to a kid that smelled like cigarettes and lived in a trailer and I regret not being nicer. Just let your daughter know that what you said in this video: what she gives out she will receive. And the nicer you are to people the more genuine friendships you will make and the more friends will be there for you in your time of need.
I think this is developmentally appropriate behavior and these incidents should be viewed as learning opportunities. See this as way to teach as opposed to disciplining. You want her to believe in kindness and not observe it out of shame/guilt/obedience/obligation. Also, giving your children things and opportunities is not spoiling them. To truly spoil or make your child rotten is to leave them with no guidance. I’m no expert, but I thought I’d weigh in.
For this, you shouldn’t “punish” her. If she lacks kindness, you should teach her kindness. To teach a child that young means you need to show them. So, show them kindness and you’ll teach them kindness. For example, you could say hi to the child she is ignoring at school next time she ignores her. Or maybe when you are at home say “hello” to her more and see if she ignores you at home. You have to be the example, not the exception.
Hi, I think you are doing well as a father, and simple things that will have big rewards with patience and love is, setting healthy boundaries, house rules that everyone is expected to keep and respect, and also encourage her to talk about her feelings. She is still very young but if she is encouraged and feels free to express herself, when she is upset, without any fear of saying the wrong thing, she will grow to trust that her feelings are important and you will have many opportunities to guide and in-still your values on her. The kicking out maybe her way to test where the boundaries are. The key is clear, kind, simple rules with appropriate consequences for her age, and if she has a tantrum, then let her , but be consistent with your boundaries of respectful behaviour. If you discipline one day and then let her go, the next day for the same bad behaviour , she will get confused. hope something i said helps, but don't be too hard on your self.
i think for this situation, i think just talking with her about it and ask her a question of how would you feel if the friend she likes and picked someone else and ignored her, how would she feel? Then relate that back to the situation you saw and how the other friend was ignored. But let her really think about it.
I'm not a phycologist. But you clearly need to talk to her that her behaviour to the friend that she ignored is not OK. Ask her how she would feel if she was the one who was ignored. There is another thing. Do you give her hugs? She needs to feel loved. Give her a hug then she has done something good.
I am not an expert but I have been a public and private school teacher for nearly 20 years and I have a son in elementary school (in Japan) In this case, no matter what it looks like from the outside, your daughter could be right or doing the approach that she feels is justified. A boy who was formally my sons classmate would always smile at me and him any time we met. My son always ignored him. In particular he resented his teacher for trying to force them to be friends. In fact, as it turned out, this boy was often bullying my son and making his life miserable and blaming him if he responded. But all the same, he would smile and seem friendly in front of adults. When my son was sick, he even tagged on to the back of other real friends who came to our house to see him etc. From the outside, he seemed ok, but the truth was he was a piece of shit and still is. Apart from that, kids are changable and this months enemy and can be your elementary school best friend (not in the case of my son, but I mean it is possible). It is good to tell her not to ignore people, but it is a very common approach among children. It is easier for adults to "take the high ground" and say at least a cold Hi to others who you dont like. That is a big ask for a 4 year old who is only starting to learn the basics of social interaction. I doubt many adults could also really comprehend or at least bother to take the time to consider their behaviour in similar situations. I work in the same place as someone who has refused to return a greeting with me in 11 years, although he has no reason to dislike me as we have never worked together directly. I assume he does not consider that he is being rude or he is being rude on purpose, in either case, fine. I will continue to greet him anyway. But very small children certainly cant think in these terms. Personally, more than this occassion, I think that the more worrying thing is the punching and swearing at you, as it is very hard to walk back being a push over. It is better to start off strict and become easier from time to time. I would start the end of spoiling and the introduction of discipline as soon as possible because if you try it once big trouble starts, say later on in elementary school or even junior high school, you might find it absolutely impossible.
kids have little understanding of reality, they just bounce off things per their nature and emotions until some equilibrium good or bad is met. Best one can do without being too autocractic, is to observe their patterns of interaction and bias towards the ones that are positive and fulfilling for both of you. It's an inherently messy process finding a self actualizing path in life, but the messy bits are where one innovates to personalize solutions that more meaningfully address reality than any top down framework could....
Like a other guy commented, maybe you can register her to a test training class of Judo/Aikido/Karate. My little daughter shows similar behaviour sometimes, I will try to bring her also soon to a test class. Maybe you can keep us updated about her progress. Arigatou
when kids are older and more mature, you talk to them about how other people's feelings matter just as much, that people are of equal value and they should see others as the same as themselves. you tell them it would make you sad if they did something wrong. at 4, you hit them. Not hard, not a lot, no belts involved, and generally confined to the butt. But it's gotta be done. only when guilt is certain, and immediately. to create the connection between defiance and discomfort. It's not fun, that's the point. You do it because it's worse not to. You put yourself through the pain of hitting your own kid, to save them from pain later. ... buuut... if it's just snubbing another kid? then spanking would be way too severe.. just ask her how she'd feel if she got snubbed. Ask what that other girl did to be ignored, maybe the other girl was mean earlier.. you can try teaching her how to accept apologies, if so. Might be mature enough for that. But typically at that age it's very transactional. Do an action, get a result.
I was deciplined when i was little. My dad was tough on me and made rules in the house, my mum was closest to me. But she knew that my father was in the right. She trusted him. I got mature at young age, as a little kid. I had so much respect for my father and mother.
@@askjapan9669Perhaps a favorite cartoon of hers that both show and speak of acts of kindness. Then both you and your wife repeat what was discussed on those same shows to reinforce a change…
You have to address everything she does. Address the good things with praise and the bad things with correction. If she refuses to accept that correction, then you discipline her in a loving way, and also a firm way. There is a tv show called supernanny that teaches you how to properly discipline and love your kids. Its one of the only shows in the world that correctly shows you how to treat your child so that they grow up to be healthy and happy.
I used to only enjoy having a few friends in school and have difficulty being nice to everyone. I would maybe just consider using a lesson to teach her the importance of being kind to others, but also like others have said not forcing her to be friends with people she doesn't want to be friends with. Teach respect, but don't force her to put on a face. Just my opinion though :)
It may be spoiling a child if you give in to all their wants or give them too much freedom. But there is no such thing as giving too much loving attention.
Did you ask your daughter why she ignored her like that? Maybe there was something she did to your daughter that was wrong. Also you should try to discipline her by taking away her things and hobbies/activities she likes to do, and then inform her to first behave properly then only she will be allowed to have her things and hobbies or activities she wants to do.
Well I think whomever is with her at the time should talk to her as the situation occurs, for example tell her "Say hello to xxx-chan". But you guys can also have a conversation with her later on as well, asking her why she ignored the other girl etc. But don't just stand back and let it happen. Communication is key.
@@askjapan9669 just be authentic with your daughter, tell her what you noticed with her friend and see what she tells you. She's still young but very smart
Hello!, I'm neither a parent nor a specialist, but, however, I will give you my two cents. I think it's important talking with other parents or teachers about your daughter behaviours in order to achive a better understending of them, for example if also other people perceive them like mean or so. Moreover, I think it is very important talking to her, trying to ask if she was or are still ignoring other little girls in kindergarden, understanding in this way if there is a malicius intent in her actions. I think that, in some ways, discipline is important but it is really hard to believe that imposing rules or things to do on other peolple, even if they're children, is different from spooling them in terms of resulting in "wrong" behaviours. Talking, understanding each other reasons and beliefs and feelings, is, in my opinion, always the best way to figure things out. Greetings from Italy, love your channel!!
I'm an Australian man 34 with no children but I reckon I understand your dilemma. If it were me in this situation I wouldn't just observe but invite the other girl to meet your daughter because they clearly don't sound very close and need introduction at an adult level if that's what you want. But seriously other people have said this, your daughter is too young to understand the implications of ignoring another human. This is super mild and it sounds like you have a nice girl. The social cues you are witnessing here are actually pretty advanced. If you want your daughter to act differently I think you have to be more active in these situations and pull the other children into view yourself. Be a zoo keeper.
Your daughter is 4 and still very young and there is still time to teach and train her properly, she may pick up some bad behaviors from school and other children so its your job as her parent if you see bad behavior to correct it
I think your 4 year old Japanese daughter should meet my 4 year old Australian son and hopefully something will happen. Mine is very bossy and loves talking over all the other Japanese kids around him (Lived in Japan his whole life).
It's completely natural for fathers to lean towards spoiling kids, it's our natural inclination to provide, no matter what hardship we are put under. It is of course another one of the many challenges as a parent to balance this right to make our children the best people they can be. I hope this works out for you and it's good to see you paying such close attention. The only advice I can give is try to maintain communication with your daughter where she enjoys talking with you, this way you can articulate your intentions and reasoning better to help her improve. Use lots of examples and imagination.
It's difficult. She's adorable, she's mature (in some ways), and you don't want to hurt her. But discipline is necessary. If you don't, she won't respect you. She already doesn't, because she kicks and screams at you. And of course, it will teach her that there are consequences to her bad actions. If she never faces consequences, it will be very difficult for her to not become selfish and mean as she gets older. The good news is that she is still very young. She still has time to learn good behavior. You and your wife are the parents, not her. You need to run the household, not your children. Be encouraged. You can do it! And she will love and respect you for it, even though it may not seem like it right now
i am an american teacher who has taught in korea and china. i also have a Filipina step daughter. you need to be a harsh discipliner. but also show lots of love and give her a fun life so she loves you. but sometimes discipline hard. that is all
Common Reasons: Developmental Stage: Four-year-olds are still learning to manage big emotions and may not have the communication skills to express their needs effectively. Acting out can be their way of communicating frustration, tiredness, hunger, or overstimulation. Attention-Seeking: Sometimes children act out to get attention, even if it's negative attention. They may feel they are not getting enough attention or crave more interaction with their caregivers. Testing Boundaries: Children at this age are naturally curious and want to test limits. Acting out can be their way of exploring boundaries and seeing how far they can push them. Coping Mechanism: Acting out can sometimes be a way for children to cope with stress, anxiety, or changes in their environment. They may not know how to express their feelings in a healthy way, so they act out instead. Possible Concerns: While acting out is often a normal part of childhood development, it's important to be mindful of any concerning patterns or behaviors. If the acting out is severe, persistent, or causing harm to the child or others, it may be a sign of an underlying issue, such as: Emotional or behavioral challenges: Some children may have difficulty regulating their emotions or controlling their behavior. Learning or developmental disabilities: Acting out can sometimes be a sign of an underlying learning or developmental disability. Stressful life events: Trauma, family conflict, or other stressful events can trigger acting out behavior in children. What to Do: Stay calm and consistent: When a child acts out, it's important to remain calm and respond consistently. Avoid yelling or giving in to their demands. Set clear boundaries and expectations: Clearly communicate what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. Use positive reinforcement to reward good behavior. Provide a safe and supportive environment: Create a safe space for your child to express their emotions. Talk to them about their feelings and help them find healthy ways to cope with stress. Seek professional help: If the acting out is severe, persistent, or you are concerned about your child's well-being, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a pediatrician, therapist, or counselor.
Jordan Peterson talks a lot about that. Among his 12 rules for life, there is rule No. 5. "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them." Kids will not play with someone mean, aggressive,... etc. As a result, those children become cast out which can have a tremendous influence on their development. As adults, they become cast out from society. So it is important to address it and prevent it. We just have a living experiment with Millenials and Gen Z: "me, me, me and only me, or I am the center of the Universe generation"!!! Here is the famous speech of Simon Sinek ua-cam.com/video/xNgQOHwsIbg/v-deo.html
Listen. Seek first to understand. Put what she’s saying in YOUR words to HER satisfaction. THEN tell her your thoughts. Stephen Covey. Habit 5. But some people can’t be reached. I have one in my family. Some children grow into adults who are mean by nature and cannot show kindness no matter what. In fact, the more kindness you show them, the LESS they show you. They may be predatory sadists (antisocial). Count your blessings. 🤷
Kids are like that. They must think about themselves before thinking about others. That's human instinct. Also, she might do this tantrum things out of getting attention. Kids want attention and proper care from caregivers to feel safe. Just give her your daddy time and attention she needs---not material stuff. Don't worry. Time and teachings will make her a better girl. She's only four you just said it for yourself. p.s. you look really young for your age.
Spend some 1 on 1 time with her. Take her out for some ice cream and have a simple conversation. She will feel better that you’re giving her attention.
My Dad was 46 years old when I was born. He was a great father…he never bought me things but he took me for long walks in nature and near the ocean and explained the world and life…I am older than you are now and I am still unraveling all the wonderful things he taught me.
Cool story bro
What the fk
Unfortunately a rare trait in Japan, even many parts of the world. I try to do the same with my daughter and it can be really amazing what a walk and a small talk can do.
Those kind of souvenirs are just A LOT better than just getting some cheap/expensive kids toys or w/e. Great dad for sure.
а гвозди забивать он Вас научил?
I'm not a specialist or a parent, but since this is a UA-cam comment section, I'll weigh in on the subject anyway. It seems to me that the issue might not be with your daughter but with the beliefs you hold about children. It appears you might see children as mini-adults who develop linearly, just gaining knowledge over time. However, children develop in stages, not just in a straight line. That's why age-appropriate approaches are crucial. In this video, for example, you expect your daughter to manage her social interactions with the sophistication of an adult. Yet, she's not yet capable of understanding the long-term consequences of her actions. You expect her to adhere to adult-like standards of behavior without providing her with clear and consistent guidance. At her age, what she needs are clear rules and consistent enforcement, which is more appropriate for her level of understanding. She can understand a rule like "say hello to everyone at the bus stop". Remember, she isn't an adult, and it's important not to apply adult standards to her. Having a structure might even make her feel more secure and happy over time. From your other videos, it sounds like your parents had the opposite problem-they infantilized you, over-disciplining you even as you got older (not respecting your autonomy, etc). It’s important to not throw the baby out with the bathwater; discipline is essential, but you can’t raise children with just one tool. Parenting is a process that needs to constantly evolve to match the capacity of the child.
Understood. She is just 4. We need more time and Love. ありがとう
@@askjapan9669 I'm a French father of a 3 years old daughter and i have the same issue. She can show a lot of "adult comprehension". With her mother, we are even "shocked" to see how she can understand and acts. It's like talking and interacting with an adult sometimes and i'm not even joking or extrapolating. So when she get back to her "child comprehension" and especially her "Child comprtment (to be childish mean, etc) i'm like "???" and i feel a lil bit lost/disappointed. It's hard sometimes. I just wanna do the right thing at the right moment. Not acting too childish with her but not too adult either.
At least, she is just a 3 yo girl. My sweety lil girl. Cheers guys. (Sorry for my English).
@@askjapan9669 bro I'm 29 and am still bad at these things. and there are 50 year olds who are even worse than me. You are right, all she needs is love and not parents wanting her to change :)
Pretty good understanding without being a parent. Also an adolescent is almost a new person being born.
Exactly what @TheSpiralHero says. I would only add a few things to it. The human brain develops until the year 21 roundabout. It is mainly the frontal cortex, the place where your long-term thinking takes place. Children act as they feel like. To act like you feel alike comes from the limbic system. Thats exactly why your daughter needs your guidance. To put it in another term is: imagine yourself like a mirror for your daughter. She sees herself and the world through you as her mirror. If your mirror is a bit twisted she sees the world a bit twisted. Basically, guiding children into the world is first, and for most work on yourself.
Hey I'm a 35 year old American man. I have two boys 3 and 5 four was a hard year full of mean spirited behavior. But they come back around. Bring a good level of discipline and structure but don't be too hard on yourself when they act out.
Your English has improved so much compared to it 7 years ago. I'm sure that's because you've kept posting videos in English. You seem to choose words thoroughly, and it's easy to listen to your English as it sounds clear. Your grammar is fantastic, which I imagine shows how hard you've been working on it. This is a perfect example of "Practice makes perfect." You have so many subscribers and views because your contests are interesting, and you're trying to deliver your unique messages to people. How impressive✨You inspired me a lot! I appreciate that👍
great post.
@@user-fb3yf2xb2z Wow! Thank you for the compliment! I didn’t even imagine if my comment would reach anyone. You encouraged me so much. I appreciate it 😊
This channel has been going for 7 years already? Wow! This feels weird to me for some reason...
@@juanblanco7898 What do you mean by that? I’m curious to know 🧐
@@language-enthusiast I only recently discovered this channel. guess that's because he introduces himself like that in every single video title still.
I am a 4 year old Japanese girl in a midlife crisis and life is meaningless.
Lol
I read this as 40 and i was like damn girl what u doing later
but I post daily content and oh, I also have a second channel…because you know, life is ‘meaningless’.
💀💀💀
Shame on you for joking around instead of offering some advice to help your a positive ray of sun aren't you?
I think you should teach her to "treat others how you want to be treated yourself", but also don't force her to be friends with someone she doesn't want to be friends with. That's what my dad always told me when I was little, because I used to be mean to my classmate I didn't like.
Give your daughter the best gift of all, which is your attention.
He wants to go out drinking every night though…but no friends. So life is meaningless.
@@anewcreature7 Saucy VR is better
@@thatdutchguy89 …apparently.
retro games?
I'm 19 years old, my parents always gave me everything I wanted but I was always aware of that. I think the most important part you should do is teach her your best principles and your wife's principles too, so that she can think about her attitudes. I suffered a little because my parents didn't teach me principles, so I ended up learning on my own.
Establish clear boundaries of what is acceptable.
I agree. It wll be challenging both us and her. ありがとう
@@askjapan9669 And don't over explain the reasons why, just be firm and say, we don't behave like that. Make her apologize.
The antidote to negative childish behavior is positive childish behavior: encourage friendly play and light trouble-making, team sports, art and music, etc. Some people need more of a push in that direction than others and it's OK to push.
Complicated but thanks. アリガトウ
Being so small and lacking knowledge can be very frustrating. Seeking dynamics in a world made for adults can be difficult. ❤
We will do our best. Thanks. ありがとう
@askjapan9669 You're doing really well, your my hero.
@askjapan9669 You know, I used to get in fights in school. At age 9, my teachers and parents took me to martial arts dojo. 🥋
Brother.. let me give you advice . Im about your age and a single Father of 2 . Who are now 19 girl , and 17 boy.
She’s 4, this is totally normal. The fact you’re paying attention and using a whiteboard means you care . This is what’s important. She is lucky to have a father who cares and is a pretty cool dude. Limit her screen time. The examples you set will teach her the way. She has a brother /sibling, this a very important in teaching about being fair and sometimes others come first. Make sure she has a good friendship with her brother. He will be the one to influence her in the next few years. She’ll look up to him .
You’re doing great bro. This is a far from meaningless life you have. I enjoy the videos. Thank you .
Thanks I’m glad to hear so. Thanks ありがとう
you have secured my future mr not balding man
I think at 4 years old she is old enough to understand that you can hurt people with your actions. You can ask her how she would feel if she was ignored by someone she thought was a friend. You can ask something like “Why did you ignore (girl’s name) ? Do you think you might have hurt her feelings? Her answer might give you an idea of how to respond. There might be more going on in their lives than you think.
Hello! I am a younger viewer but I believe at one point you must put your foot down and show that you will not allow that behavior. As a spoiled child myself, this sort of discipline shaped me and I believe it helped me develop mature behavior. You should teach your child societal standards like how to treat people with respect and also introduce different forms of discipline like taking away things she likes in order to teach her a lesson. Parenting is an experience and there is no right or wrong in some cases. I wish you the best! And do not be so hard on yourself
without Discipline children dont learn. you are the parent, she is the child, she needs order, direction and its your job to provide it. i understand the culture in japan is diffrent but the point is still valid. if my son hit me i would make damn sure he knew what a big mistake he had just made.i wouldnt enjoy doing it but as a father its my duty to make sure they know its not acceptable. its disrespectful to you and to others if she is being mean or hurtful to you and/or others. sorry if this upsets anyone but as a father myself im just giving what advice i can.
Didn't upset me at all good advice very well spoken 👍 ill be 36 years old with no wife or children but i would still like to have children someday i feel i will be responsible for them so i will do my best to point them in the right direction they need cause i don't want my kids to be mean to anyone ethier.
@@patrioticyank4940 I wasn't sure if It would have come across as slightly negative so I said sorry just in case. But a loving but firm hand is needed with children I have found over the years.
I am a school teacher and have been teaching for over 30 years. I know that children learn from observing how others behave, especially at home. It’s important that you and your wife provide opportunities for your children to observe how you interact with others. Instead of encouraging your children to play video games on the weekends or isolating yourself at home, go out as a family and interact with others which can include with family friends or extended family. Show your daughter how to form and maintain healthy relationships. If they aren’t provided with these opportunities, they won’t learn because they haven’t had enough exposure.
Yes, your idea is the best way, I think.
You are guiding her well.
You have to explain things to her so she understands when she makes mistakes. Do your best to guide her from what's right and wrong but most importantly she has to be able to understand.
I am not yet a father but I appreciate your videos a lot !!
Keep it up you will figure it out !! The best thing you can do as a father is being present and do activities outside with her, the material and gifts are worth way less than precious memories with family members.
Thanks for the School Bus play by play Coach!
I don't know the full story, but if you don't like someone, you don't like them. If they don't get the message, then that's their problem. As long as she is not doing anything actively mean towards her, like bullying her in some way, I don't think it's inappropriate. I mean, if someone you don't like keeps trying to make friends with you but you don't like them, and they keep doing it, then that's like stalking.
Brother, I’m in the USA and 57. I so appreciate listening and being able to share part of your challenges and honesty. It’s so different and refreshing
I am a retired mental health provider.
What I would offer to you is this: the better your mental health and coping gets the better you will be and therefore the better your daughter’s behavior will be.
Because some of the clouds of sadness and normal stress will decrease.
Stronger boundaries will develop and a deeper understanding.
This will break the melancholy handed down the generations. You and your wife are doing a good job. Because right now it’s your best job.
Thanks for your story ありがとう
You should enroll her into martial arts. it teaches kids to channel their emotions in a healthy manor and learn self control and discipline. She has anger issues that are out of control sometimes kids need a healthy outlet.
My son learns Karate. Maybe she should start also. ありがとう
I agree my friend @@askjapan9669
Same with my Indian neighbors who have just moved. Her 7-8 year son is unbearable. He shouts, stomps, jumps, and being noisy almost all day and night (except when he's asleep). This kid stays at home all day (and I wonder why he wouldn't go to school). At first I was raged but more than a week with this behavior I think this kid has a problem channeling out his energy and emotions which needs to be fixed. Right now he's stomping like a mad little boy at the other side of the wall.
@@askjapan9669maybe a really good way. My daughter has also sometimes this behaviour. I will bring her also soon to a test training class of Judo/aikido/karate. Let's keep us updated if she likes it.
Sometimes when people grow up taking martial arts it conditions them to overreact to slightly uncomfortable/inconvenient situations with the mindset that it's time to "defend themselves", either figuratively or literally, and often with competitive undertones. Martial arts can created disciplined, well-behaved individuals; and it can just as easily create domineering, vindictive bullies who take their black-belt a little too seriously.
I think someone put it elegantly when they said _"Do you really want your angsty teenager to know how to break someone's nose?"_
Model inclusive and kind behaviour and she will hopefully embody those values as she grows up. Encourage empathy skills so she can understand how her friend may have felt sad to be left out - an age appropriate discussion of the events and offering other solutions would be encouraged. Your unconditional love, support and attention will fill her with a positive sense of self that she carries through life. She is very lucky to have a dad who cares so deeply ❤
You yourself are kind and sensitive. This will make you feel this deeply. They are lucky to have a dad that is you. I raised two children as a single parent. I know that I made them feel loved despite not having very much. We certainly did not have all of the nice things that you enjoy. I taught my children about ‘clicks’ before they even went to school, and we revisited this conversation as a family unit. They were well liked because they would stand up for the underdog. They had talents such as art ( all you need is a pencil and paper) and also knew that school work would help them when they became an adult. I would work on the love shared within your family unit- all of those relationships. You with your wife, you with each of your children, the children with each other. This will give you so much to do. Perhaps start with a date night with your wife, and retain a babysitter for that evening out. Make sure that the sitter is kind.
audio is a little low. love you man, i wish the best for you
You are a nice parent, sometimes you can not be too nice! she is your daughter not your friend. it is your job to shape her into a decent human beings. Its important to set boundaries. YOU are the father, SHE is the child. The moment you lose that power dynamic your child has "won". you don't need to spank a child to let it know who is boss. But raising your voice with authority once in a while is probably going to be the only way you're going to shift that power dynamic. "Don't yell at me like that i am your father" if it continues "do you want to go and sit in your room on a time out?" Never just threaten punishment always follow though. OBVIOUSLY if you've got to the point you're spanking kids you've lost.
She will get out of this behavior when she gets older when she becomes aware of what she’s doing.
We hopd so. Time will solve her problem. Thanks, ありがとう
they are not a dog. children grow up how they are taught.
Aside from the discipline that you have been recommended, you must teach her kindness and gratitude. Many people don’t realize that this needs to be cultivated in children, some needing more lessons than others. These are important years. You’ll be thankful for your lifetime and hers if you deal with all this now. Good luck 😉
It's good that you recognised the issue. Why not play reverse role game with your daughter?
That's the problem with most girls nowadays. I feel like parents don't discipline them enough. But of course, don't overdo it either, balance is key in all aspects of life.
Exactly, it was a problem long ago. The double standard situation caused this issue.
It is good for all of us to be nice to others. At such a young age, we do not understand, but when our parents explain, we will start to understand. You care about others and their feelings and that is great.
You are right that she is acting on instinct and not aware of the other girl who admires her as a friend.
At that age, we should not expect them to understand appropriate social behavior such as not to ignore the girl. They are very young and will not get caught up in those emotions for long.
I suggest that you and your wife try to regularly get in touch with your daughter’s thoughts and feelings. Ask her why she likes the one friend more than the other. This way you can get to know your daughter better and her interests.
At that age, they are still learning about themselves and you don’t need to worry about her building or breaking a long-term friendship. The friendships will come and go. But as you know, teaching her to always be respectful of others will help a lot in her social skills and building social relationships.
You know what to do, not too much force not too much spoiled!
Treat others same way you’d want to be treated.
Teach her that
Ok. ありがとう
Social Media and friends will shape later years of her life but you are setting her foundation and values to judge those things that she will encounter. 🤔❤❤❤
Good observations. You must teach her RESPECT! Respect is such a highly valued behavior in your culture, especially for people older than her like her dad or grandfather. You should consult a children’s psychologist to determine the best way to stop this disrespect. In fact, the three of you could benefit from seeing a therapist who coach you on how to have her behave in a more respectful manner. She doesn’t have to be perfect but she needs to show you respect.
I work with children as a teacher. The best teaching tools are modeling the behavior you want to see, and being able to communicate with your child well. Discipline is important, but so are these other things. So is being CONSISTENT. Always CONSISTENT with boundaries, expectations, and consequences. At this age, children also have big feelings that they are unsure how to deal with, and they don't know how to reason through them.
We are not profesionals. Should we ask some professional to help us? ありがとう
Go back to that video and read all the comments. There were many that posted some very good advise!
You’re doing great! I was not a very nice kid either when I was little. I learned how to be nice by being excluded and ostracized myself and then developing empathy for people by learning more about their circumstances. I was only sort of nice to a kid that smelled like cigarettes and lived in a trailer and I regret not being nicer. Just let your daughter know that what you said in this video: what she gives out she will receive. And the nicer you are to people the more genuine friendships you will make and the more friends will be there for you in your time of need.
I hope she will be ok ありがとう
@@askjapan9669 she is still bebe she will grow out of it
I think this is developmentally appropriate behavior and these incidents should be viewed as learning opportunities. See this as way to teach as opposed to disciplining. You want her to believe in kindness and not observe it out of shame/guilt/obedience/obligation. Also, giving your children things and opportunities is not spoiling them. To truly spoil or make your child rotten is to leave them with no guidance. I’m no expert, but I thought I’d weigh in.
For this, you shouldn’t “punish” her. If she lacks kindness, you should teach her kindness. To teach a child that young means you need to show them. So, show them kindness and you’ll teach them kindness. For example, you could say hi to the child she is ignoring at school next time she ignores her. Or maybe when you are at home say “hello” to her more and see if she ignores you at home. You have to be the example, not the exception.
She needs you to talk with her about what she is angry with. Discipline is only shown when all else fails. Maybe your daughter is jealous.
Hi, I think you are doing well as a father, and simple things that will have big rewards with patience and love is, setting healthy boundaries, house rules that everyone is expected to keep and respect, and also encourage her to talk about her feelings. She is still very young but if she is encouraged and feels free to express herself, when she is upset, without any fear of saying the wrong thing, she will grow to trust that her feelings are important and you will have many opportunities to guide and in-still your values on her. The kicking out maybe her way to test where the boundaries are. The key is clear, kind, simple rules with appropriate consequences for her age, and if she has a tantrum, then let her , but be consistent with your boundaries of respectful behaviour. If you discipline one day and then let her go, the next day for the same bad behaviour , she will get confused. hope something i said helps, but don't be too hard on your self.
Speaking as a former child, there are a few more phases she will go through as her personality calcifies.
i think for this situation, i think just talking with her about it and ask her a question of how would you feel if the friend she likes and picked someone else and ignored her, how would she feel? Then relate that back to the situation you saw and how the other friend was ignored. But let her really think about it.
Me and my wife haven’t yet found best way but thanks ありがとう
@@askjapan9669 thank you for reading my comment and replying. I enjoy your videos!
I'm not a phycologist. But you clearly need to talk to her that her behaviour to the friend that she ignored is not OK. Ask her how she would feel if she was the one who was ignored. There is another thing. Do you give her hugs? She needs to feel loved. Give her a hug then she has done something good.
I am not an expert but I have been a public and private school teacher for nearly 20 years and I have a son in elementary school (in Japan)
In this case, no matter what it looks like from the outside, your daughter could be right or doing the approach that she feels is justified. A boy who was formally my sons classmate would always smile at me and him any time we met. My son always ignored him. In particular he resented his teacher for trying to force them to be friends. In fact, as it turned out, this boy was often bullying my son and making his life miserable and blaming him if he responded. But all the same, he would smile and seem friendly in front of adults. When my son was sick, he even tagged on to the back of other real friends who came to our house to see him etc. From the outside, he seemed ok, but the truth was he was a piece of shit and still is.
Apart from that, kids are changable and this months enemy and can be your elementary school best friend (not in the case of my son, but I mean it is possible). It is good to tell her not to ignore people, but it is a very common approach among children. It is easier for adults to "take the high ground" and say at least a cold Hi to others who you dont like. That is a big ask for a 4 year old who is only starting to learn the basics of social interaction. I doubt many adults could also really comprehend or at least bother to take the time to consider their behaviour in similar situations.
I work in the same place as someone who has refused to return a greeting with me in 11 years, although he has no reason to dislike me as we have never worked together directly. I assume he does not consider that he is being rude or he is being rude on purpose, in either case, fine. I will continue to greet him anyway. But very small children certainly cant think in these terms.
Personally, more than this occassion, I think that the more worrying thing is the punching and swearing at you, as it is very hard to walk back being a push over. It is better to start off strict and become easier from time to time. I would start the end of spoiling and the introduction of discipline as soon as possible because if you try it once big trouble starts, say later on in elementary school or even junior high school, you might find it absolutely impossible.
kids have little understanding of reality, they just bounce off things per their nature and emotions until some equilibrium good or bad is met. Best one can do without being too autocractic, is to observe their patterns of interaction and bias towards the ones that are positive and fulfilling for both of you. It's an inherently messy process finding a self actualizing path in life, but the messy bits are where one innovates to personalize solutions that more meaningfully address reality than any top down framework could....
Like a other guy commented, maybe you can register her to a test training class of Judo/Aikido/Karate. My little daughter shows similar behaviour sometimes, I will try to bring her also soon to a test class. Maybe you can keep us updated about her progress. Arigatou
Its good that your daugter is strong and not weak
She's only 4 years old.
Please, please be patient.
He is patient though, it seems he is actually patient to a fault.
Understood. We hope that she will be alright. ありがとう
when kids are older and more mature, you talk to them about how other people's feelings matter just as much, that people are of equal value and they should see others as the same as themselves. you tell them it would make you sad if they did something wrong.
at 4, you hit them. Not hard, not a lot, no belts involved, and generally confined to the butt. But it's gotta be done. only when guilt is certain, and immediately. to create the connection between defiance and discomfort. It's not fun, that's the point. You do it because it's worse not to. You put yourself through the pain of hitting your own kid, to save them from pain later.
... buuut... if it's just snubbing another kid? then spanking would be way too severe.. just ask her how she'd feel if she got snubbed. Ask what that other girl did to be ignored, maybe the other girl was mean earlier.. you can try teaching her how to accept apologies, if so. Might be mature enough for that. But typically at that age it's very transactional. Do an action, get a result.
I was deciplined when i was little. My dad was tough on me and made rules in the house, my mum was closest to me. But she knew that my father was in the right. She trusted him. I got mature at young age, as a little kid. I had so much respect for my father and mother.
Show her shows that exemplify sharing and caring.
OK, I will. ありがとう
@@askjapan9669Perhaps a favorite cartoon of hers that both show and speak of acts of kindness. Then both you and your wife repeat what was discussed on those same shows to reinforce a change…
You have to address everything she does. Address the good things with praise and the bad things with correction. If she refuses to accept that correction, then you discipline her in a loving way, and also a firm way. There is a tv show called supernanny that teaches you how to properly discipline and love your kids. Its one of the only shows in the world that correctly shows you how to treat your child so that they grow up to be healthy and happy.
I used to only enjoy having a few friends in school and have difficulty being nice to everyone. I would maybe just consider using a lesson to teach her the importance of being kind to others, but also like others have said not forcing her to be friends with people she doesn't want to be friends with.
Teach respect, but don't force her to put on a face. Just my opinion though :)
It may be spoiling a child if you give in to all their wants or give them too much freedom. But there is no such thing as giving too much loving attention.
Did you ask your daughter why she ignored her like that? Maybe there was something she did to your daughter that was wrong.
Also you should try to discipline her by taking away her things and hobbies/activities she likes to do, and then inform her to first behave properly then only she will be allowed to have her things and hobbies or activities she wants to do.
Well I think whomever is with her at the time should talk to her as the situation occurs, for example tell her "Say hello to xxx-chan". But you guys can also have a conversation with her later on as well, asking her why she ignored the other girl etc. But don't just stand back and let it happen. Communication is key.
Thanks. We have decided to teach her slowly ありがとう
I’m 74 and the only behaviour that I still hold on to is my grandfathers unconditional love. ❤️
Smart people are not the nicest
True. buy kind? ありがとう
@@askjapan9669 just be authentic with your daughter, tell her what you noticed with her friend and see what she tells you. She's still young but very smart
I'd probably be a parent just like him. I'd just want to spoil them and be their friend.
Hello!, I'm neither a parent nor a specialist, but, however, I will give you my two cents. I think it's important talking with other parents or teachers about your daughter behaviours in order to achive a better understending of them, for example if also other people perceive them like mean or so. Moreover, I think it is very important talking to her, trying to ask if she was or are still ignoring other little girls in kindergarden, understanding in this way if there is a malicius intent in her actions.
I think that, in some ways, discipline is important but it is really hard to believe that imposing rules or things to do on other peolple, even if they're children, is different from spooling them in terms of resulting in "wrong" behaviours.
Talking, understanding each other reasons and beliefs and feelings, is, in my opinion, always the best way to figure things out.
Greetings from Italy, love your channel!!
Thanks. We think we need advice from expertise ありがとう
She needs attention and discipline. Do not allow her to be physical with you.
My child would not be kicking or punching me thats for sure. You need to show her whos boss and be the father you're supposed to be.
As a former mean girl she’ll be fine. I needed to be controlled though.
Please dont allow your kids to play video games for a very long hours...
I'm an Australian man 34 with no children but I reckon I understand your dilemma. If it were me in this situation I wouldn't just observe but invite the other girl to meet your daughter because they clearly don't sound very close and need introduction at an adult level if that's what you want. But seriously other people have said this, your daughter is too young to understand the implications of ignoring another human. This is super mild and it sounds like you have a nice girl. The social cues you are witnessing here are actually pretty advanced. If you want your daughter to act differently I think you have to be more active in these situations and pull the other children into view yourself. Be a zoo keeper.
Raising kids has been complicated and challenging ありがとう
You can go to a child psychologist. They are experts. Not all people are born natural parents and can be harsh to their child. Can seek expert advice
In the future your children will watch your videos and will understand the sacrifices you made for them.
Your grammar is very good.
Your daughter is 4 and still very young and there is still time to teach and train her properly, she may pick up some bad behaviors from school and other children so its your job as her parent if you see bad behavior to correct it
I think your 4 year old Japanese daughter should meet my 4 year old Australian son and hopefully something will happen. Mine is very bossy and loves talking over all the other Japanese kids around him (Lived in Japan his whole life).
It's completely natural for fathers to lean towards spoiling kids, it's our natural inclination to provide, no matter what hardship we are put under. It is of course another one of the many challenges as a parent to balance this right to make our children the best people they can be. I hope this works out for you and it's good to see you paying such close attention. The only advice I can give is try to maintain communication with your daughter where she enjoys talking with you, this way you can articulate your intentions and reasoning better to help her improve. Use lots of examples and imagination.
Smart and Nasty = Snarky. Parents thinking their monsters are adorable. lmao
Agree What You Are Saying Definitely.
Thanks. In that case, we should change the way we raise her. ありがとう
It's difficult. She's adorable, she's mature (in some ways), and you don't want to hurt her. But discipline is necessary. If you don't, she won't respect you. She already doesn't, because she kicks and screams at you. And of course, it will teach her that there are consequences to her bad actions. If she never faces consequences, it will be very difficult for her to not become selfish and mean as she gets older.
The good news is that she is still very young. She still has time to learn good behavior. You and your wife are the parents, not her. You need to run the household, not your children.
Be encouraged. You can do it! And she will love and respect you for it, even though it may not seem like it right now
It’s really difficult and challenging for us. ありがとう
Nice video I love it. Just wondering why do you start your video by “ I am 50 years old man”?
Let me think ありがとう
i am an american teacher who has taught in korea and china. i also have a Filipina step daughter. you need to be a harsh discipliner. but also show lots of love and give her a fun life so she loves you. but sometimes discipline hard. that is all
Your daughter will be a boss
Children can be meaner than adults 😊
I agree but an worried a lot ありがとう
Parents spoil their kids too much it’s really a bad thing. They grow up rotten adults.
I admit that we have been spoiling her too much ありがとう
Clear boundaries.......
Common Reasons:
Developmental Stage: Four-year-olds are still learning to manage big emotions and may not have the communication skills to express their needs effectively. Acting out can be their way of communicating frustration, tiredness, hunger, or overstimulation.
Attention-Seeking: Sometimes children act out to get attention, even if it's negative attention. They may feel they are not getting enough attention or crave more interaction with their caregivers.
Testing Boundaries: Children at this age are naturally curious and want to test limits. Acting out can be their way of exploring boundaries and seeing how far they can push them.
Coping Mechanism: Acting out can sometimes be a way for children to cope with stress, anxiety, or changes in their environment. They may not know how to express their feelings in a healthy way, so they act out instead.
Possible Concerns:
While acting out is often a normal part of childhood development, it's important to be mindful of any concerning patterns or behaviors. If the acting out is severe, persistent, or causing harm to the child or others, it may be a sign of an underlying issue, such as:
Emotional or behavioral challenges: Some children may have difficulty regulating their emotions or controlling their behavior.
Learning or developmental disabilities: Acting out can sometimes be a sign of an underlying learning or developmental disability.
Stressful life events: Trauma, family conflict, or other stressful events can trigger acting out behavior in children.
What to Do:
Stay calm and consistent: When a child acts out, it's important to remain calm and respond consistently. Avoid yelling or giving in to their demands.
Set clear boundaries and expectations: Clearly communicate what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. Use positive reinforcement to reward good behavior.
Provide a safe and supportive environment: Create a safe space for your child to express their emotions. Talk to them about their feelings and help them find healthy ways to cope with stress.
Seek professional help: If the acting out is severe, persistent, or you are concerned about your child's well-being, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a pediatrician, therapist, or counselor.
Thanks ChatGPT
@@mark9294 Your welcome human.
Jordan Peterson talks a lot about that. Among his 12 rules for life, there is rule No. 5. "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them." Kids will not play with someone mean, aggressive,... etc. As a result, those children become cast out which can have a tremendous influence on their development. As adults, they become cast out from society. So it is important to address it and prevent it. We just have a living experiment with Millenials and Gen Z: "me, me, me and only me, or I am the center of the Universe generation"!!! Here is the famous speech of Simon Sinek ua-cam.com/video/xNgQOHwsIbg/v-deo.html
Listen. Seek first to understand. Put what she’s saying in YOUR words to HER satisfaction. THEN tell her your thoughts. Stephen Covey. Habit 5.
But some people can’t be reached. I have one in my family. Some children grow into adults who are mean by nature and cannot show kindness no matter what. In fact, the more kindness you show them, the LESS they show you. They may be predatory sadists (antisocial).
Count your blessings. 🤷
Scold and time outs for such an age.
that's the majic white board I am talking about ))
Watch "super nanny" even if one episode and you'll see how the balance between building relationships and discipline works.
It’s normal, she’s 4. It sucks but apparently they grow out of it by 5.
Kids are like that. They must think about themselves before thinking about others. That's human instinct. Also, she might do this tantrum things out of getting attention. Kids want attention and proper care from caregivers to feel safe. Just give her your daddy time and attention she needs---not material stuff. Don't worry. Time and teachings will make her a better girl. She's only four you just said it for yourself. p.s. you look really young for your age.
children are meant to be children, not mature. If you are raising her and she is turning mature, she is learning how to deceive.
We understand and hope that this is just childish behavior but … ありがとう
Haircut time soon! :)
Haha ありがとう
You can form your own friendships. Then you can show her for many years how to interact. UA-cam is not the way IMHO.
True ありがとう
Youre daughter is not mean she is a leader
Spend some 1 on 1 time with her. Take her out for some ice cream and have a simple conversation. She will feel better that you’re giving her attention.
Its too early to know how the girl will grow up. Leave the future to handle it.
Don’t just leave it to the future, do what you can do now.
She seems like a very angry girl but she loves Street Fighter so it will probably be ok.