10 Funny Stories From Ancient Rome

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  • Опубліковано 8 лют 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 153

  • @Sorcerers_Apprentice
    @Sorcerers_Apprentice 3 роки тому +375

    You didn't mention the funniest part of #9 - Claudius was punished by his superiors, not for losing the battle, but for killing the chickens because they were regarded as sacred oracles.

    • @artinrahideh1229
      @artinrahideh1229 2 роки тому +42

      +"Thousands have died"
      -"very sad"
      +"and some chickens"
      -"you're gonna get crucified"

    • @akechijubeimitsuhide
      @akechijubeimitsuhide 2 роки тому +11

      Tfw you kill the Riverwood chicken

  • @skorpion1117
    @skorpion1117 3 роки тому +136

    Hannibal: "I've defeated your army, here are my conditions."
    Senator Ditkovich: "Give me rent."

  • @martijnstuart95
    @martijnstuart95 3 роки тому +326

    Cicero, living proof yo momma jokes have been a thing for at least 2000 years

    • @technovelo
      @technovelo 2 роки тому +12

      At the moment UA-cam is showing a graph when I hover over the progress bar at the bottom. This shows a sharp peak with the tag "Most replayed" right on the joke. I wasn't the only one running that back for a bonus laugh. XD

    • @TheSkyGuy77
      @TheSkyGuy77 Рік тому +2

      It was probably one of the first jokes ever told

    • @shokan7178
      @shokan7178 Рік тому

      Cicero is not alive tho

    • @faisalkamal4319
      @faisalkamal4319 Рік тому

      just like yo mama

  • @cupidsfavouritecherub9327
    @cupidsfavouritecherub9327 3 роки тому +346

    Damn Cato really asked for his own humiliation lmao i know he cried himself to sleep that night

    • @akechijubeimitsuhide
      @akechijubeimitsuhide 2 роки тому +6

      He also called Caesar a drunkard after this incident, even though he himself was a known alcoholic XD

  • @KTChamberlain
    @KTChamberlain 3 роки тому +154

    Damn, I knew Cicero respected the Spartans, but I had no idea he could come up with one-liners that they would be proud of.

    • @jaodasaveiroprata2764
      @jaodasaveiroprata2764 2 роки тому +2

      Imagine respecting Spartans of all peoples lmao

    • @KTChamberlain
      @KTChamberlain 2 роки тому +16

      @@jaodasaveiroprata2764 True, although I should note that Cicero respected the stability of Sparta and how their kings had checks and balances. Still, Cicero's savage one-liner would do the Spartans proud.

    • @userofthetube2701
      @userofthetube2701 2 роки тому +3

      Cicero was arguably the greatest orator in the history of Rome. And he was very much capable of destroying someone with just the power of his words.

  • @paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530
    @paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530 3 роки тому +414

    The only better scenario we could imagine would be Gaius getting letter from Catos mother

    • @andrewr2468
      @andrewr2468 3 роки тому +37

      Cato’s parents died when he was a child. He lived with his uncle for most of his life. So I imagine getting a letter from his mother would all the more disturbing.

    • @paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530
      @paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530 3 роки тому +6

      @@andrewr2468 so lets change mother with uncle and... well

    • @andrewr2468
      @andrewr2468 3 роки тому +13

      @@paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530 He... he died too. When Cato was a late teen.

    • @paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530
      @paulusillyriusiudathaddaio2530 3 роки тому +21

      @@andrewr2468 Ffs, no wonder why Cato the Younger was such a brat

    • @theodosiusii408
      @theodosiusii408 2 роки тому

      Now Caesar can say to Cato "I fucked your mom" with no irony

  • @GarfieldRex
    @GarfieldRex 3 роки тому +101

    -Imperator, after all these years leading Rome to greatness, which do you think is your greatest achievement?
    -Ships in Amphitheatre go ding ding ding 👊😁

  • @fitzer1881
    @fitzer1881 2 роки тому +76

    I always like the story of when cAesar just got to Britain(for the second time) , as he was leaving his ship his foot got caught in a net and he fell a couple feet onto the sand of the beach,infront of his whole army, and immediately got up, took a handful of sand and proclaimed “Britain , I have hold of you now!” , over 2000 years later , we still remember Julius Caesar having an embarrassing fall

    • @TheRatOnFire_
      @TheRatOnFire_ 2 роки тому +5

      Pretty sure that happened in Africa, no?

    • @fitzer1881
      @fitzer1881 2 роки тому +12

      @@TheRatOnFire_ yea sorry it was Africa during his civil war

  • @lemonfresh1135
    @lemonfresh1135 3 роки тому +309

    You could absolutely turn this into a substantial series, there are so many great anecdotes that have gone unmentioned. For instance, Jovian’s death by huffing paint, Honorius’ confusion over his chicken during the sack of Rome, Horatius Cocles’ time wasting stunt, Caracalla’s red wedding incident, Vedius Pollio’s collection of busts of married women (including Lepidus’ wife), Domitian’s black banquets and many more anecdotes ranging from the kingdom to the fall of the empire. Keep up the great vids man!

    • @danielsch.5324
      @danielsch.5324 3 роки тому +12

      Valentinian's two man-eating she-bears called "innocence" and "snowflake"!

    • @lemonfresh1135
      @lemonfresh1135 3 роки тому +14

      @@danielsch.5324 The 4th century is full of stories like that, it seems that the chaotic condition of the empire made for a crucible in which absurd situations come to manifest themselves. This only continues into the byzantine period as there are tales of emperor Zeno being buried alive by his wife Ariadne and Constans II' assassination by having a soap dish smashed over his head lol.

    • @danielsch.5324
      @danielsch.5324 3 роки тому +10

      @@lemonfresh1135 Or Justin II literally turning insane and behaving like an animal!
      But I agree, the funny stories get crazier, the longer the empire lasts....even though there are very early gems too, Domitian "the fly assassin" or Caligula, "conqueror of the seas"

    • @lemonfresh1135
      @lemonfresh1135 3 роки тому +5

      @@danielsch.5324 I completely forgot about Justin the Second, he would definitely top the list of mad byzantine rulers.

    • @danielsch.5324
      @danielsch.5324 3 роки тому +5

      @@lemonfresh1135 Imagine beeing the Eunuch that has to be in charge of him^^

  • @jet-blackjo2455
    @jet-blackjo2455 3 роки тому +55

    This naval thing is so true, i played Total war: Rome and the Egyptians just kept destroying my fleets, should have used those chickens instead of eating them.

  • @theshadowsagas3617
    @theshadowsagas3617 3 роки тому +72

    "Always listen to the Chickens"
    Honorius: Allow me to introduce myself

    • @rafelliott
      @rafelliott 2 роки тому +10

      Maybe Honorius was actually the most wise of all of Rome's many Emperors, us mortals were just far too below his vast intellect to see it

  • @laurentbergeronmusic
    @laurentbergeronmusic 3 роки тому +92

    There's also that time Cesar face planted when getting off of a boat

  • @LegioXXI
    @LegioXXI Рік тому +6

    Even after 2000 years, i can still hear the echo of Cato's humiliation after him hearing his sisters 'love letter'.

  • @joshintv3316
    @joshintv3316 3 роки тому +65

    yo bro i know u gunna blow up soon bro, content too good to ignore

  • @JuliusCaesar888
    @JuliusCaesar888 2 роки тому +16

    Asking for rent, Caesar being butthurt over Aquila, Cicero mom joking and Cato self owning were great.

    • @nicmagtaan1132
      @nicmagtaan1132 Рік тому

      Tribune aquila is one of the conspirators who killed Caesar

  • @TheBobes
    @TheBobes 3 роки тому +88

    I gambled with future. Perhaps even with destiny. I pressed the "subscribe" button in hopes Gods would bring us Funny Stories from Ancient Rome part 2.

    • @spectrum1140
      @spectrum1140  3 роки тому +37

      Ah, no worries, I'll probably bring it in a few months.

    • @sovietz99
      @sovietz99 2 роки тому +6

      8 months later….

    • @speedypichu6833
      @speedypichu6833 2 роки тому

      It came, just took 12 months, never late than never

  • @orthodox77
    @orthodox77 2 роки тому +16

    Another funny story with Hannibal is when he was besieging Rome a field he was camped on was sold by one Roman citizen to another on a regular price with Hannibal and all his army.

  • @Kingofportals
    @Kingofportals 3 роки тому +19

    Cicero is a Chad, and Troll, he is also one of the best roasters of all time!

  • @feastguy101
    @feastguy101 3 роки тому +71

    Sulla’s daughter has some pretty good ones too. Keep them coming!

    • @JustinCage56
      @JustinCage56 3 роки тому +7

      What did she do exactly? :?

    • @lateshpatil5307
      @lateshpatil5307 3 роки тому +2

      You mean Cornellia?

    • @feastguy101
      @feastguy101 3 роки тому +1

      @@lateshpatil5307 yup

    • @1224chrisng
      @1224chrisng 2 роки тому +1

      @@JustinCage56 the real question is **who** did she do

  • @mikemurphy9960
    @mikemurphy9960 3 роки тому +27

    Excellent video and content, love to see your subs rise as I watch the videos.
    The response from Rome to Carthage after the defeat at Cannae, about charging them a fee for the land they were on is absolute legendary. Cheers from Canada.

  • @Jon-mc1sh
    @Jon-mc1sh 3 роки тому +98

    Someone having historia civilis flashbacks with tribune aquila?

    • @connorgolden4
      @connorgolden4 3 роки тому

      Glad I’m not alone. Can’t find which episode he was in.

    • @rafael_lana
      @rafael_lana 3 роки тому +4

      @@connorgolden4 the episode is Ceasar as King :) ua-cam.com/video/Sj2UksH_nSI/v-deo.html

    • @nikinikipikipiki8547
      @nikinikipikipiki8547 3 роки тому

      Ya

  • @darthsadow7836
    @darthsadow7836 3 роки тому +25

    You should definitely make a series about weird roman stories and keep up the great videos there's not enough history UA-camrs

  • @mism847
    @mism847 3 роки тому +5

    Love your channel. Heavily underrated.

  • @loganbagley7822
    @loganbagley7822 2 роки тому +1

    One of my favorites is when the emperor Honorius heard that "Roma" had perished, and he thought that Alaric and the Goths had killed his favorite chicken.

  • @IBPhoenix
    @IBPhoenix 3 роки тому +5

    Telling you this will be the nest dovahhatty in the romaboo community, glad I got recommended early before the blow up.

  • @thessop9439
    @thessop9439 3 роки тому +2

    NOW THIS IS QUALITY MATERIAL AND I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE VIDEO. I'M SUBBING

  • @michaelfisher7170
    @michaelfisher7170 2 роки тому +2

    Augustus probably liked the spectacle....."what a time we had at that! You're welcome!" lol. Still a guy, interested not just in him important feats but his bad ass productions, too. :) And Valentinian could have profitted from anger management classes that were still 2000 years in the future. Poor guy.

  • @thessop9439
    @thessop9439 3 роки тому +5

    I can see the Dovahatty influence !

  • @itarry4
    @itarry4 Рік тому +2

    Really I can't believe Hannibal thought the Romans would surrender after what they went through and did in the 1st Punic wars. Raising 4 whole armies and building 4 fleets of ships in stupidly short times.

  • @thejackman687
    @thejackman687 3 роки тому +5

    Love this channel and the Mark Felton References!

  • @duchessnoor
    @duchessnoor 3 роки тому +4

    I love your videos! Recently found them a little while ago and I’m hooked. You’re gonna blow up my dude!

  • @connorgolden4
    @connorgolden4 3 роки тому +1

    Subbed! Love your channel!

  • @gandalfstormcrow8439
    @gandalfstormcrow8439 3 роки тому +2

    "Come then, take back the republic from me if you can, tribune Aquila!"

  • @BiakSkull
    @BiakSkull 3 роки тому +8

    What do you mean you DIDNT INCLUDE THE GUARD GOOSE

  • @ekszentrik
    @ekszentrik 3 роки тому +1

    I sacrificed a goat to this channel's success.

  • @darwinrucker8488
    @darwinrucker8488 2 роки тому +1

    The whole naval shtick 😂

  • @Aaedion
    @Aaedion 3 роки тому

    In so little time you gained more subs, great job

  • @oqo3310
    @oqo3310 10 місяців тому

    Be wary about elgeballus, because our main source on him is Cassius Dio (a well-known slanderer), and because in general when you hear of an emperor doing crazy shit it's because the senate didn't like him and basically blackened his memory after his death.

  • @CommissarMitch
    @CommissarMitch 3 роки тому +1

    That Cicero part made me laugh

  • @RaixsOreh
    @RaixsOreh 3 роки тому +4

    I would subscribe to this channel, but I have to make sure if tribune aquila is alright with it first.

  • @redtheftauto
    @redtheftauto 3 роки тому

    Love this video could easily be a series

  • @BiakSkull
    @BiakSkull 3 роки тому +1

    This better include the goose gaul proximity alarm

  • @nooneshome8746
    @nooneshome8746 3 роки тому +2

    Omg ..... The sacred chickens of skyrim is based in real life

  • @silvertongue.242_99
    @silvertongue.242_99 3 роки тому +14

    This lad cross dress to get into a party to seduce the host wife got caught by their mother 😂😂😂😂😭

  • @petrilachristian5249
    @petrilachristian5249 3 роки тому

    Nice video ! Also if you are out of ideas i would like to watch a video in chronological order about all the assassinated roman emperors and the reasons why. Fan of your chanel ! Looking forward to your next videos

  • @diego-bm7mi
    @diego-bm7mi 3 роки тому

    Congrats on 1k subsribers :)

  • @intervjaurenh4060
    @intervjaurenh4060 3 роки тому

    I love this channel

  • @cdcdrr
    @cdcdrr 2 роки тому

    Senator: Who's your daddy?
    Cicero: Yo mama!

  • @marcusluciliuscavallus328
    @marcusluciliuscavallus328 3 роки тому

    I read the title and immediately knew that the Clodius scandal would be in it.

  • @ExAnimoPortugal
    @ExAnimoPortugal 3 роки тому +3

    Vespasian literally died of "cagamerdeira"

  • @Soho_Minos
    @Soho_Minos 3 роки тому +2

    Why wouldn't he listen to the chicken they're literally there just for being omen givers 😭

  • @driplerthadripper
    @driplerthadripper 2 роки тому

    Tribune aquallia is my favourite roman meme , I wish I wasn't the only history nerd I knew so I could use it more often although I should probably run that past tribune aquailla first anyway

  • @Arti_Svan
    @Arti_Svan 4 місяці тому

    1. Valentinian - a good emperor killed by his own anger 04:07
    2. Tribuine of Aquilla - Caesar is controlled by anger 05:22

  • @Cluu_
    @Cluu_ 3 роки тому +2

    well now you have to do a darkest stories

  • @itarry4
    @itarry4 Рік тому

    Missed the fact the Roman in 9 also cut one of the chickess up after they wouldn't eat and the guts they used for divination were rotten before then throwing the rest is the Sea.

  • @REVAN2338
    @REVAN2338 3 роки тому +4

    It should be noted he does not mean Emperor Claudius but Publius Clodius Pulcher.

    • @carval51
      @carval51 3 роки тому +2

      I was thinking that claudius too, until I remember this claudius lol

  • @marcelbruins5571
    @marcelbruins5571 3 роки тому

    number 3 made me almost crap my pants

  • @humphreydoe3446
    @humphreydoe3446 3 роки тому +7

    Something I think would be interesting to cover is the political and cultural affect that Diocletian's reforms had on the Roman world.

  • @ghostlyjudge
    @ghostlyjudge 2 роки тому

    damn some of these count as burns XD

  • @minhquanphung9641
    @minhquanphung9641 3 роки тому +2

    6:30 sorry but how wild is guy lol.

  • @estebson
    @estebson 8 місяців тому

    Another hilarious story about Clodius (and arguably the only based thing he ever did his entire life) was when he, as a newly appointed Tribune of the Plebs, straight up vetoed Bibilus's farewell speech at the end of his consulship.

  • @pietrocasadei1778
    @pietrocasadei1778 2 роки тому

    Nice video, very funny and interesting. Can you tell what are your source? thank you

  • @Fat_garagem
    @Fat_garagem 3 роки тому +1

    Ranking every Pop, please.

  • @kelamullah1999
    @kelamullah1999 3 роки тому +1

    I see I have been mentioned.

  • @liamroberts2576
    @liamroberts2576 2 роки тому

    I must have been Ela in a past life. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤣😈

  • @AlkalineAjay
    @AlkalineAjay 3 роки тому

    You got a subscriber in me!!

  • @Phamtomdark
    @Phamtomdark 3 роки тому +7

    Wasn't Caesar a man for every woman and woman to every man in Rome ?
    How is it a slight on the Emperor of Rome to give up that high octane Bussy if the First dude to be Emperor gave up the Bussy ?

    • @torcaace
      @torcaace 3 роки тому +5

      Fuck it, i'm naming a band "Caesar's Bussy"

    • @Phamtomdark
      @Phamtomdark 3 роки тому +2

      ​@@torcaace Punk Rock, is the obvious go to, but is it a triumvirate (band of three ) Lead, Bass, Drums ?

  • @henryfellowsmoss3827
    @henryfellowsmoss3827 2 роки тому

    Why is it always a Claudius Pulcher making mischief? I'm reminded of the one during Caesar's time who snuck into the women-only ceremony celebrating the Bona Dea by dressing up as a woman. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, it would seem.

  • @1_rma
    @1_rma 3 роки тому

    nice video

  • @ffn8917
    @ffn8917 3 роки тому

    Love it

  • @Tom-lr1if
    @Tom-lr1if 3 роки тому +1

    Another fan of Mike Duncan's History of Rome podcast huh

  • @Charles-e4x
    @Charles-e4x 3 роки тому

    Watching this video, in the grand scheme of things, not much seems to have really changed at all.

  • @jamesivey5573
    @jamesivey5573 4 місяці тому

    What in the flying fuck I got two unskippable 55 second ads

  • @kaiokendo
    @kaiokendo 3 роки тому

    5:00 He was epiléptic or something??

  • @therealdirtydan6185
    @therealdirtydan6185 3 роки тому

    poor Cato

  • @comedyaddict123
    @comedyaddict123 3 роки тому +2

    Apart from repeating lies about Heliogabalus, nice video.

  • @AMR_k400
    @AMR_k400 3 роки тому

    Claudius is my favorite roman

  • @BOIZADAS
    @BOIZADAS 3 роки тому

    Aos 4:44, surge uma peça que gostaria de saber qual é. Consegues-me dizer?

  • @Eddy1938-b
    @Eddy1938-b 3 роки тому +1

    Elagabalus profile pls😩😩😩

  • @DJ-1Q84
    @DJ-1Q84 2 роки тому

    Caesar supporting Claudius over his own wife takes "bros before hoes" to a whole new level.

  • @gr8aussief--kup
    @gr8aussief--kup 2 роки тому

    The best thing about you is yes you are mainly Rome, but you aren't fascist which is always a risk

  • @citadelofkuzey1193
    @citadelofkuzey1193 3 роки тому

    jesus christ whats the music its always used in history videos!!!!

  • @Hertyropix
    @Hertyropix 3 роки тому

    Rate every dynasty of the roman empire and western and east roman empire

  • @davidward3848
    @davidward3848 3 роки тому +5

    One does not blaspheme Deus Sol Invictus and get away with it.

  • @PolskaCebula
    @PolskaCebula 2 роки тому +1

    Elagabalus truly was the maddest of emperors he:
    -Changed main roman god
    -Married priestesses
    -Was trans
    -Had casual sex
    Truly the worst of the worst... also remember that gay people didn't exit in ancient times they were just roommates

  • @timmyturner327
    @timmyturner327 3 роки тому +1

    Comment for sake of algorithim.

  • @jorgefierro8241
    @jorgefierro8241 3 роки тому

    hehehhe butt

  • @djinnglebells241
    @djinnglebells241 2 роки тому

    7:55 Gotta be honest, this just sounds like Elagabalus was trans. Should the man be referred to as she then? The marrying a vestal virgin thing is really weird tho. Otherwise, none of that seems out of the norm, at least to today.

    • @theprussianfemboy165
      @theprussianfemboy165 2 роки тому

      The issue is it's hard to tell cause there are a lot of mistruths made up to make some emperor's look bad

    • @djinnglebells241
      @djinnglebells241 2 роки тому +1

      @@theprussianfemboy165 Usually I'd say this sounds like a "OMG they were roommates" situation, but after doing further research, most of it seems to point that yeah, this was just slander.

    • @theprussianfemboy165
      @theprussianfemboy165 2 роки тому

      @@djinnglebells241 yeah same with that one byzantine emperor who everyone thinks is trans I still hold hope that maybe they were trans but again gender non conforming and trans people will always be used as slander

  • @fatalshore5068
    @fatalshore5068 3 роки тому +1

    Cicero was not plebian, he was equities.

  • @pedroclapis4
    @pedroclapis4 3 роки тому

    more rome