This is all very triggering. I’m just furious at all the harm these monsters **intentionally** caused. I can’t help but wonder what kind of life I might have had were it not for my sick parents… 2 sick stepmothers… and sick extended family who took part in the abuse and supported the abusers. I’m absolutely furious. Thank you, Dr Tamara for explaining all of this. It sure hits home. 😡😢😢😢😡 I’m in therapy with a good therapist who understands narcissistic abuse to some extent. The first therapist I’ve ever had who actually “gets it.” I’ve had many over the years and not one of them understood what these types of parents & families do to harm the family scapegoat (the one who sees just how toxic the family is). The abuse I suffered was severe enough some family members could have done time in jail… or even prison. It makes me sick how they covered their tracks and made me the evil sick one… while all their supporters go along with demonizing me. I was a little girl when my dad molested me. His third wife said I “wanted it.” She is a vile evil woman. They are all thick as thieves and stick together. Many of these sick individuals attend church and consider themselves “good Christians” too. 😢😢😢😢
I'm so sorry😔 I really need to start posting disclaimers that the content is tough to digest. It is. It's "stripping" to some people because it seems like a topic that can be handled until you start pulling apart what's happened to you. I'm so sorry you have gone through this. But I'm really happy you have a good therapist! That means so much. It's healing when you have a close confidant to walk with you.
Same here! My grandmother and mother behaved the same way, however my mother was overt and my grandmother covert. Me and my aunt knew there was something wrong, but we could never quite put our finger on what. After my aunt passed away 5 years ago, I couldn't survive in the family without her, so I eventually went no contact. Now that I have learned from these videos what it was, I wish I could call my aunt and tell her I've figured it out!! I am so grateful for the professionals who have provided these videos and pulled us out of the darkness and into the light.
Unwilling to put in the effort required to build genuine self esteem (by doing the basics, like meditation/prayer, eating right, getting exercise, pursuing goals/hobbies, daily affirmations, etc)… malignant NPD's gain their sense of self worth by crushing/collapsing the self worth of others.
My narcissistic mother threw me out of the house on night in the middle of the night for just disagreeing with her opinion.i bought a bottle of wine for us after working all week. I wanted up to have a daughter mother Friday night,when the conversation got to something I choose to have my own opinion about,she then got up in anger and told me to get out. I was glad I had my own flat to go to.I should never have given her the right to come up and visit me at my flat anymore after that.
These people are determined to be seen as intelligent and sensible,its crazy making the things narcs will do for recognition and attention. Yes you are told you are nothing,you will never get anywhere at School,in life you are not even half as valuable as your narc mother. Thats what they do. Their goal is to beat you dowm psychologically,emotionally and self confidence and self value goes out the window. I grew up not being able to stand up for myself,verbally in certain situations,because of what I went through. I had to learn the hard way,how to do that by myself,that was hard.
Thank you. :) The rat study is interesting and reminds me of the circus elephant metaphor! ( I didn't ask for a phone but I was given one, and I'm still on a family plan. I don't have normal life skills because I was told to depend on Dad for everything. I've never leased a car or whatever because he would always buy one cheap so I wouldn't have to pay the high interest rates. While I was growing up, he told me that I wouldn't have to pay taxes if I made less than $5k/year. It's very confusing but you're right it's about putting me down so he can inflate his ego, and so he can continue negative family patterns! It's hard when infantilization meets parentification, and the adult child has to be the bigger person than their immature parent, but maybe that's what growing up is all about. )
Im sorry to have missed several of your Livestreams Tamara( i live in the UK so its a bit-late for me) But i unfortunately lost out on so many productive years to controlling and critical family members who never really had my best interests at heart, these years of wasted time and energy i will regretfully never get back and to which iam still healing from to this very day(But hey we live and learn i guess)Thankfully Today all that time energy and focus will be directed on my own personal recovery from all the trauma i have endured because of toxic family members, at least each and every-single day is a step in the right direction, to heal, to love, to reinvent ourselves, and to become the very people god&the most high intended for us and created us to be 🙏🙏
Another great one, Dr. Tamara. These "psychology of" video series really helps me understand what I was dealing with my relatives growing up. I might not have been infantilized, necessarily, but other overlapping harmful behaviors I did witness messed me up mentally and emotionally for a long time. But growth and self love evolution is beautiful thing😊
@@fifilafleur5555 His wife must be just like my Aunt. I always feel she’s just like the evil stepmother, mean to your face but nice in public so people think you’re lying when you don’t want to be around her.
@@kiv_daniels, that’s exactly it. She has everyone fooled as does her daughter (half sister). My dad enables & goes along with their mistreatment of me as he’s also an abuser. It’s disgusting what they do.
Thanks Tamara for taking the time for us experiencing this firsthand 4 years on now family kids and wife formed a coalition against me you are right the immaturity something I've never witnessed in a family their inability to speak and avoidance is very troubling reason they're doing this I wasn't allowed to speak my opinion and stuff that they were doing wrong😢❤❤
I like the description of having to 'take down a reality', that is actually what you have to do sometimes to see clearly, objectively. Families like this have been operating in a set unconscious way for a really long time and will resist change that threatens that. 'Standing up to them' is pretty fruitless and sounds like you're below them, not the case. We can grow in maturity regardless of whether they do or whether they consciously or unconsciously try to prevent that.
I get more from watching one of your videos than months of therapy. I don't trust any of them. I always just get thrown with the counselor with the lightest work load than is completely opposite of me. Talking about my crap has been old. It's nice to just listen to you explain things and then reflect on what was said. Thanks Tamara!
This is explosive! I have realized since listening to various UTube therepists including yourself, that I have not received very good therepy over the years 1st hand. Listening to what you are saying gives me confidence that what has happened to me and is continuing to happen in my family by a few members is 100% true. Or, maybe I am at a place also that I am "Raising my ugly head" and starting to really question everyone and everything and believe in me. I am now 75 yrs. old and have struggled my whole life with depression and low self esteem. And I realize as I ask questions even of my faith that it has also affected my realitionship to how I see God. It doesn't matter at this point in life that it has been such a hard journey to overcome self doubt. As I was seeking God one day not to long ago, I said. "I can't do this anymore." Keep going against what I can't internalize. The Biblical verse that has gone through my mind so many times and I have actually expressed recently with a friend is one that I believe a disciple expressed. "I believe, help my unbelief." I am always looking for the truth. And that probably started in childhood with a statement I recall from my mother; " You think to much." And one day as I was walking out of church as a young girl @ 8 to 10 I asked the minister this question. "Where did God come from. "? He said. "We don't ask those questions." And so it goes. Do not question authority in the family, in the church, or anywhere else except with fear. I thought I was going to have to wait until I meet God face to face to ask the question of "What happened" in my life, and is still happening in my family. It is becoming very clear that I am not "a problem to be solved." And who I am and how I was created to think as a child was not wrong. I have "Good News" to believe and spread with faith in the love that was planted within me from the very beginning by the author of life.❤
Wow! I am not married nor have kids yet, however I listen and tune in to a lot of these to prepare the best I can. A lot of what you have spoken on I experienced and still do experience myself! I love these topics! Thanks for bringing awareness!
Hey there Tamara this resonates with me an what I was dealing with my ex in-laws I'm glad because my ex is in bondage to his family and I want it out because I know this is not the way I want to live after 7 years completion.. sadly he has wimpy syndrome characteristics how I attract due to my broken consciousness a bit of low self-esteem so I own it and take responsibility becoming the best version of myself holistically in terms of self-forgiveness self care unapologetically 💜🙏.. I appreciate you because you are a blessing! to people you just don't know..
Thank you so much ☺ I'm very grateful that I can reach a wide audience and I'm prayerful that perhaps there will be more one day. I'm sorry this has happened to you as well. The good part about it for you is that you no longer have to be apart of the bondage of deception. You see the problem. You see what you need to do. And that's healing.
Thank you thank you for the work you out to show us who we deal with, much appreciated.Tamara, I have been on your videos, and been in a downward spiral with them sent them to my aunt who is trying to make me forgive my mother, my aunt is like” the Bible says “honor and respect…….. and you only have one mom, and she is hurting , am watching it now, I had to move across continents far away and no contact, I saw this day ago and have been waiting and missed it, so play back gang here.
Thank you so much for this comment.❤ I'm glad this is helpful to you. I'm sorry this is so hard for you too. But perhaps healing and clarity can come from the videos on the channel. I truly hope so. Let me also say...that I believe (like your aunt) you should honor your mother and father "that thy days will be many." Exodus 20:12 *HOWEVER, this is within its proper context. CONTEXT is extremely important when reading and abiding by the bible. I don't think God would punish you for having nothing to do with an abusive parent, a cruel parent, etc. Context is key!
Hey. Watching your intro now. I realized ‘oh no! I missed Tamara’ 😕 I found you this week and so much resonates with me Thank you for everything you do I really hope I catch you live next time 🤍
Thank you so much ❣️ Your knowledge is invaluable! Sooo after you mentioned infantilization I looked it up and got to infantilization of women which was just what I needed to understand ( on top of my toxic family members starting with my sadic mother) I realized I am one of the 8% of rural female property owners in the country I am in and it's been sooooo difficult to gain respect in investment collaborations due to my gender, like most men are just fantasizing about sex/love relationships and I am not offered the same, opportunities, my very narcissistic ex husband actually managed to steal half of my properties because the lawyer just ASSUMED that I was a nobody since I was a woman and being an old school vice president of this country and probably sociopath he claimed he had no idea modelling was a job which is quite a humiliating thing to say. So in my case having paid taxes and done everything right was squashed by male assumptions of what females are capable of. Have you encountered this problem with male professionals being a very educated woman? Cordially Aya ☀️✨
Thank you so much for that! And yes, I do encounter this a lot! It's disrespectful sometimes and undermining to say the least. I have always, and still do, have to "fight" to be respected. And no matter how far I have traveled or gone in this profession, I still have to "fight" to be respected. Sexual and sexist comments do happen from time to time. Self-preservation through wise responses or no responses, ignoring or minimizing, and building self-confidence and knowledge are often helpful.
My parents were very controlling...i am the youngest of 4 siblings 3older brothers.. if you didn't do it there way .. for instance, they helped me out with my electric when moved out . Single mother of 1 daughter.. it was just a temporary thing.. so.. they didn't want me to see this guy i liked. They would drive by my apartment, to see if his vehicle was there.. and if i got caught they would say , im not going to continue helping you ,if you don't stop seeing him... omg... that's just the tip of the iceberg. So so much more....i have Cptsd...
This helps ease the guilt i feel over walking away from certain family relationships. What you describe, the interpersonal dynamic as it were, can be so tricky to interpret. For years i felt i was being oppressed somehow, but felt shameful for even contemplating it. This video ua-cam.com/video/c39F04inLJ0/v-deo.htmlsi=YHAA2o48Koa9eFho , helped me zone in on innapropriate boundary crossing behaviour. Thankyou for the light you continue to shine on these taboo topics.
You're welcome and thank you for sharing that resource. Walking away is difficult because the natural process is to wonder if you were "right" or "wrong" in what has happened and what you have decided to do. It takes time to work through this.
48:31 You were going to post in the description box about the "Violence and Control (Will or Wheel)". I didn't see that. I'm not sure exactly what you are saying. I never heard of it.
Wow .. had problems with school and homework. My mom would take it and do it then finally, i needed glasses and teachers would c all and my mom didn't want to hear it .. then I get glasses, and everyone would have to help fine them.. and was told I was stupid. I didn't know who I was .. as I got older, it didn't stop. Ugh
I'm so sorry. That's rough indeed @pennyponiatowski5676. I have so many kiddos who see me for treatment who are going through this. It's a tough dynamic indeed. You are not stupid. No one is stupid. That's a term the ignorant use when they can't understand your needs. I hope you know that!
Oh my gosh Penny, I thought I was the only one who’s mom got frustrated with me and just did the homework herself… yeah, she would try to explain it and when I didn’t understand, she would just do it herself… Fast forward to young adulthood, instead of explaining to me how credit and budgeting works, she just buys everything for me.. instead of teaching me how to cook, she just lays a cookbook on my bed or does all the cooking herself…. and then turns around and complain about why I don’t have my life together… She still hasn’t figured it out 😞 I’m so underdeveloped at my age because of this.. but keep seeking out channels like this and there’s nothing wrong with keeping your distance… stay safe 🎈ok.
With learned helpless, I wouldn't say it's "easier" it's just that continuing to try appears to be futile and a hopeless cause. Why set yourself up for disappointment and frustration? Feeling powerless definitely isn't easier, it's just doesn't seem like there are any options that will actually yield a good result for you anyway.
Can I sue my mom if she did all this and just been treating me like shiit after pops died. Help older bro but not me if I ask n if do need alil ride its attitude etc In home trauma stress neg and she tells me take her to court lol so could I
You just described my family and the way they treat me. It's like they view me as a subhuman with less rights than the rest of the family.
I'm sorry 😔 Never easy to deal with.
Great comment and I can relate. If I may recommend a UA-cam video on that? "Ross Rosenberg - You Are Not Subhuman"
💯
This is all very triggering. I’m just furious at all the harm these monsters **intentionally** caused. I can’t help but wonder what kind of life I might have had were it not for my sick parents… 2 sick stepmothers… and sick extended family who took part in the abuse and supported the abusers. I’m absolutely furious. Thank you, Dr Tamara for explaining all of this. It sure hits home. 😡😢😢😢😡
I’m in therapy with a good therapist who understands narcissistic abuse to some extent. The first therapist I’ve ever had who actually “gets it.” I’ve had many over the years and not one of them understood what these types of parents & families do to harm the family scapegoat (the one who sees just how toxic the family is). The abuse I suffered was severe enough some family members could have done time in jail… or even prison. It makes me sick how they covered their tracks and made me the evil sick one… while all their supporters go along with demonizing me. I was a little girl when my dad molested me. His third wife said I “wanted it.” She is a vile evil woman. They are all thick as thieves and stick together. Many of these sick individuals attend church and consider themselves “good Christians” too. 😢😢😢😢
I'm so sorry😔 I really need to start posting disclaimers that the content is tough to digest. It is. It's "stripping" to some people because it seems like a topic that can be handled until you start pulling apart what's happened to you.
I'm so sorry you have gone through this. But I'm really happy you have a good therapist! That means so much. It's healing when you have a close confidant to walk with you.
Same here! My grandmother and mother behaved the same way, however my mother was overt and my grandmother covert. Me and my aunt knew there was something wrong, but we could never quite put our finger on what. After my aunt passed away 5 years ago, I couldn't survive in the family without her, so I eventually went no contact. Now that I have learned from these videos what it was, I wish I could call my aunt and tell her I've figured it out!! I am so grateful for the professionals who have provided these videos and pulled us out of the darkness and into the light.
@@mindovermatter8920, 🙏🏻🩵🙏🏻
I’m so sorry. And I believe you. I hope you are safe away from them now.
Unwilling to put in the effort required to build genuine self esteem (by doing the basics, like meditation/prayer, eating right, getting exercise, pursuing goals/hobbies, daily affirmations, etc)… malignant NPD's gain their sense of self worth by crushing/collapsing the self worth of others.
My narcissistic mother threw me out of the house on night in the middle of the night for just disagreeing with her opinion.i bought a bottle of wine for us after working all week. I wanted up to have a daughter mother Friday night,when the conversation got to something I choose to have my own opinion about,she then got up in anger and told me to get out. I was glad I had my own flat to go to.I should never have given her the right to come up and visit me at my flat anymore after that.
These people are determined to be seen as intelligent and sensible,its crazy making the things narcs will do for recognition and attention. Yes you are told you are nothing,you will never get anywhere at School,in life you are not even half as valuable as your narc mother. Thats what they do. Their goal is to beat you dowm psychologically,emotionally and self confidence and self value goes out the window. I grew up not being able to stand up for myself,verbally in certain situations,because of what I went through. I had to learn the hard way,how to do that by myself,that was hard.
Thank you. :) The rat study is interesting and reminds me of the circus elephant metaphor! ( I didn't ask for a phone but I was given one, and I'm still on a family plan. I don't have normal life skills because I was told to depend on Dad for everything. I've never leased a car or whatever because he would always buy one cheap so I wouldn't have to pay the high interest rates. While I was growing up, he told me that I wouldn't have to pay taxes if I made less than $5k/year. It's very confusing but you're right it's about putting me down so he can inflate his ego, and so he can continue negative family patterns! It's hard when infantilization meets parentification, and the adult child has to be the bigger person than their immature parent, but maybe that's what growing up is all about. )
mabe he NEEDS you to depend on him so He feels competent.
Here's to Growth 🤗
Wow this is my family totally. This helps a lot in understanding why I am so mistreated. Carol. 😅
I'm sorry 😔 And yet, I'm glad you are able to see that this is a family dynamic. A family problem. A systemic problem.
Im sorry to have missed several of your Livestreams Tamara( i live in the UK so its a bit-late for me) But i unfortunately lost out on so many productive years to controlling and critical family members who never really had my best interests at heart, these years of wasted time and energy i will regretfully never get back and to which iam still healing from to this very day(But hey we live and learn i guess)Thankfully Today all that time energy and focus will be directed on my own personal recovery from all the trauma i have endured because of toxic family members, at least each and every-single day is a step in the right direction, to heal, to love, to reinvent ourselves, and to become the very people god&the most high intended for us and created us to be 🙏🙏
Another great one, Dr. Tamara. These "psychology of" video series really helps me understand what I was dealing with my relatives growing up.
I might not have been infantilized, necessarily, but other overlapping harmful behaviors I did witness messed me up mentally and emotionally for a long time.
But growth and self love evolution is beautiful thing😊
Thank you for this education. I see this alot in 9-5s and from my toxic abusive family.
You're welcome!!
And I'm sorry you have had to deal with this. Never easy to do.
I lived this. No contact for a long time now. I pray we can all find peace & healing ❤
My dad & his family love doing the narcissistic infantilization to me. His wife especially. 😡😡😡
@@fifilafleur5555 His wife must be just like my Aunt. I always feel she’s just like the evil stepmother, mean to your face but nice in public so people think you’re lying when you don’t want to be around her.
@@kiv_daniels, that’s exactly it. She has everyone fooled as does her daughter (half sister). My dad enables & goes along with their mistreatment of me as he’s also an abuser. It’s disgusting what they do.
Thanks Tamara for taking the time for us experiencing this firsthand 4 years on now family kids and wife formed a coalition against me you are right the immaturity something I've never witnessed in a family their inability to speak and avoidance is very troubling reason they're doing this I wasn't allowed to speak my opinion and stuff that they were doing wrong😢❤❤
I like the description of having to 'take down a reality', that is actually what you have to do sometimes to see clearly, objectively. Families like this have been operating in a set unconscious way for a really long time and will resist change that threatens that. 'Standing up to them' is pretty fruitless and sounds like you're below them, not the case. We can grow in maturity regardless of whether they do or whether they consciously or unconsciously try to prevent that.
I get more from watching one of your videos than months of therapy. I don't trust any of them. I always just get thrown with the counselor with the lightest work load than is completely opposite of me. Talking about my crap has been old. It's nice to just listen to you explain things and then reflect on what was said. Thanks Tamara!
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. I really do appreciate you. 🌹 ❤
❤🤗You're welcome and thank you so much for that! I'm really glad this is helpful to you.
@@TherapistTamaraHill You're welcome and very helpful indeed😇❤
This is soo validating. You’re saving lives out here Tamara Hills.
🤗thank yo! I pray so.
@@TherapistTamaraHill You’re welcome ☺️☺️☺️. Amen.
This is explosive! I have realized since listening to various UTube therepists including yourself, that I have not received very good therepy over the years 1st hand. Listening to what you are saying gives me confidence that what has happened to me and is continuing to happen in my family by a few members is 100% true. Or, maybe I am at a place also that I am "Raising my ugly head" and starting to really question everyone and everything and believe in me. I am now 75 yrs. old and have struggled my whole life with depression and low self esteem. And I realize as I ask questions even of my faith that it has also affected my realitionship to how I see God. It doesn't matter at this point in life that it has been such a hard journey to overcome self doubt. As I was seeking God one day not to long ago, I said. "I can't do this anymore." Keep going against what I can't internalize. The Biblical verse that has gone through my mind so many times and I have actually expressed recently with a friend is one that I believe a disciple expressed. "I believe, help my unbelief." I am always looking for the truth. And that probably started in childhood with a statement I recall from my mother; " You think to much." And one day as I was walking out of church as a young girl @ 8 to 10 I asked the minister this question. "Where did God come from. "? He said. "We don't ask those questions." And so it goes. Do not question authority in the family, in the church, or anywhere else except with fear. I thought I was going to have to wait until I meet God face to face to ask the question of "What happened" in my life, and is still happening in my family. It is becoming very clear that I am not "a problem to be solved." And who I am and how I was created to think as a child was not wrong. I have "Good News" to believe and spread with faith in the love that was planted within me from the very beginning by the author of life.❤
Wow! I am not married nor have kids yet, however I listen and tune in to a lot of these to prepare the best I can. A lot of what you have spoken on I experienced and still do experience myself! I love these topics! Thanks for bringing awareness!
Thank you!! So glad this is interesting and helpful to you. And you're welcome. More is on the way!
Hey there Tamara this resonates with me an what I was dealing with my ex in-laws I'm glad because my ex is in bondage to his family and I want it out because I know this is not the way I want to live after 7 years completion.. sadly he has wimpy syndrome characteristics how I attract due to my broken consciousness a bit of low self-esteem so I own it and take responsibility becoming the best version of myself holistically in terms of self-forgiveness self care unapologetically 💜🙏.. I appreciate you because you are a blessing! to people you just don't know..
Thank you so much ☺ I'm very grateful that I can reach a wide audience and I'm prayerful that perhaps there will be more one day.
I'm sorry this has happened to you as well. The good part about it for you is that you no longer have to be apart of the bondage of deception. You see the problem. You see what you need to do. And that's healing.
You not only clarified this is confirmation.
This struck a nerve!
Thank you thank you for the work you out to show us who we deal with, much appreciated.Tamara, I have been on your videos, and been in a downward spiral with them sent them to my aunt who is trying to make me forgive my mother, my aunt is like” the Bible says “honor and respect…….. and you only have one mom, and she is hurting , am watching it now, I had to move across continents far away and no contact, I saw this day ago and have been waiting and missed it, so play back gang here.
Thank you so much for this comment.❤
I'm glad this is helpful to you.
I'm sorry this is so hard for you too. But perhaps healing and clarity can come from the videos on the channel. I truly hope so.
Let me also say...that I believe (like your aunt) you should honor your mother and father "that thy days will be many." Exodus 20:12
*HOWEVER, this is within its proper context. CONTEXT is extremely important when reading and abiding by the bible. I don't think God would punish you for having nothing to do with an abusive parent, a cruel parent, etc. Context is key!
I appreciate the way you break these things down! 😌
Thank you!! I'm so glad this is helpful.
Blessed evening Tamara great to see you as always my favorite therapist 💯💕💕💐💐
🤗🥰 God's blessings to you.
You get scapegoated ,because you are more intellingent than your narc parent.
Hey. Watching your intro now. I realized ‘oh no! I missed Tamara’ 😕
I found you this week and so much resonates with me
Thank you for everything you do
I really hope I catch you live next time
🤍
Welcome!!
You're welcome.And thank you 😊 So glad this is helpful. I'll be on again tomorrow 6:10 est!
Thank you so much ❣️ Your knowledge is invaluable! Sooo after you mentioned infantilization I looked it up and got to infantilization of women which was just what I needed to understand ( on top of my toxic family members starting with my sadic mother) I realized I am one of the 8% of rural female property owners in the country I am in and it's been sooooo difficult to gain respect in investment collaborations due to my gender, like most men are just fantasizing about sex/love relationships and I am not offered the same, opportunities, my very narcissistic ex husband actually managed to steal half of my properties because the lawyer just ASSUMED that I was a nobody since I was a woman and being an old school vice president of this country and probably sociopath he claimed he had no idea modelling was a job which is quite a humiliating thing to say. So in my case having paid taxes and done everything right was squashed by male assumptions of what females are capable of. Have you encountered this problem with male professionals being a very educated woman? Cordially Aya ☀️✨
Thank you so much for that!
And yes, I do encounter this a lot! It's disrespectful sometimes and undermining to say the least. I have always, and still do, have to "fight" to be respected. And no matter how far I have traveled or gone in this profession, I still have to "fight" to be respected. Sexual and sexist comments do happen from time to time. Self-preservation through wise responses or no responses, ignoring or minimizing, and building self-confidence and knowledge are often helpful.
❤
My parents were very controlling...i am the youngest of 4 siblings 3older brothers.. if you didn't do it there way .. for instance, they helped me out with my electric when moved out . Single mother of 1 daughter.. it was just a temporary thing.. so.. they didn't want me to see this guy i liked. They would drive by my apartment, to see if his vehicle was there.. and if i got caught they would say , im not going to continue helping you ,if you don't stop seeing him... omg... that's just the tip of the iceberg. So so much more....i have Cptsd...
This helps ease the guilt i feel over walking away from certain family relationships. What you describe, the interpersonal dynamic as it were, can be so tricky to interpret. For years i felt i was being oppressed somehow, but felt shameful for even contemplating it. This video ua-cam.com/video/c39F04inLJ0/v-deo.htmlsi=YHAA2o48Koa9eFho , helped me zone in on innapropriate boundary crossing behaviour. Thankyou for the light you continue to shine on these taboo topics.
You're welcome and thank you for sharing that resource.
Walking away is difficult because the natural process is to wonder if you were "right" or "wrong" in what has happened and what you have decided to do. It takes time to work through this.
48:31 You were going to post in the description box about the "Violence and Control (Will or Wheel)". I didn't see that. I'm not sure exactly what you are saying. I never heard of it.
My sister use to wake me up beating me when I was a kid crying about how she ain't got no daddy and I do
Wow .. had problems with school and homework. My mom would take it and do it then finally, i needed glasses and teachers would c all and my mom didn't want to hear it .. then I get glasses, and everyone would have to help fine them.. and was told I was stupid. I didn't know who I was .. as I got older, it didn't stop. Ugh
😢 Sorry you had to endure that experience. I hope you find healing and peace.
I'm so sorry. That's rough indeed @pennyponiatowski5676. I have so many kiddos who see me for treatment who are going through this. It's a tough dynamic indeed. You are not stupid. No one is stupid. That's a term the ignorant use when they can't understand your needs. I hope you know that!
Oh my gosh Penny, I thought I was the only one who’s mom got frustrated with me and just did the homework herself… yeah, she would try to explain it and when I didn’t understand, she would just do it herself… Fast forward to young adulthood, instead of explaining to me how credit and budgeting works, she just buys everything for me.. instead of teaching me how to cook, she just lays a cookbook on my bed or does all the cooking herself…. and then turns around and complain about why I don’t have my life together… She still hasn’t figured it out 😞 I’m so underdeveloped at my age because of this.. but keep seeking out channels like this and there’s nothing wrong with keeping your distance… stay safe 🎈ok.
With learned helpless, I wouldn't say it's "easier" it's just that continuing to try appears to be futile and a hopeless cause. Why set yourself up for disappointment and frustration? Feeling powerless definitely isn't easier, it's just doesn't seem like there are any options that will actually yield a good result for you anyway.
Hello everyone ❤
my dad told me you're 18 get a fulltime job dont think about college sadly I never went
Ouch. Mine did the same. Never too late .
Can I sue my mom if she did all this and just been treating me like shiit after pops died. Help older bro but not me if I ask n if do need alil ride its attitude etc
In home trauma stress neg and she tells me take her to court lol so could I
I’ll give more details but overall is possible if ok mom imma sue you cause she minimized me leaving me at work home etc petty stuff over time