Thank you for sharing your journey. I will be 64 next month and am researching learning everything I can about the trans life in order to support my trans grandson whom I’ve raised . He’s 23 and came out to us when he was 15. He had had a trial some adolescence and we finally figured out what it was that was “bothering him” . I appreciate you sharing so those of us who need to learn can do so in order to be there for our loved ones.
No one should have to go all this hell to b their true self. No one really seems to know why some r born the wrong gender. Anyone so hateful needs counciling. This is not a matter to me of religion. It is a matter of humanity. U r beautiful. U b u. 🙂
Thank you for sharing. I’ve been married to a trans woman for 33 years. She explained her situation when we’d been married 4 years. After the talk, we agreed that we still loved each other deeply. I said I supported her…I said that if I held her back she would eventually resent me. We decided we would take it one day at a time. Our love never wavered, we are still together and happy!
Having come from a very religious family also, and still in the closet, I know the guilt one deals with daily. Your story really resonates with me, and I am glad that you are able to be yourself. I'm in my 70s now, and not sure I will ever attain your happiness, but the few times I am alone, is a temporary satisfaction. I'm envious of your permanent happiness.
@@benrizzo3880 "Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and HUMBLE." You think you speak for God? When Christ arrived from Heaven's Glory sharing his existence with us, He shared what it meant to be bathe in God's light and palm. Christ often praised acceptance, love, and empathy; the bible speaks of people like YOU. You do not speak for God.
The Bible is flawed. If you want to go by what is written in it then three times in the Bible it instructs to not alter the context and/or believe the word of an altered context Bible because those who do either are forever Condemned to hell. I bring this up because the context has been altered not less than three times in it's history. Constantinople, the counsel of Nicea and King James all altered the Bible in order to control the masses.
Listening to your story really resonates with me and my battle with depression, I was in a previous relationship for seven years, I was unhappy with life in general, but my partner hated the idea of people sitting around, talking about feelings, and trying to find reasons for what was wrong with themselves. It got to a point where I was so mentally stuck that I couldn't bring myself to make major changes in my life, she wanted me to get a new job, and move to another city, but I just could't, so she left. I'm in a much better place now, with someone who is supportive of me needing to talk about problems and of me going to get professional help with my life. Its hard when you don't understand yourself enough to open up about who you truly are to someone else.
Hi Kayla. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm very sorry of the troubles you went through so you could embrace your authenticity. I, too, lied to my significant other especially pre hrt and in the first year of hrt. So I can relate with your story. The only difference is I left my significant other at the end of that year but through the power of understanding and unconditional love we got back together. Though my transition has moved slower than I originally hoped (I am scheduled as of 2/23/2022 to have my GCS in September this year), my significant other has become one of my strongest allies and confidante. Even though we are struggling with some other issues; we have each other's backs and are very good friends and we do love each other. I don't know where we'll end up but I no longer strand to the horizon to see the other side but embrace the day for what's it worth and my significant other's love. I hope you nothing but the best for you, Kayla, and I really do love watching your videos. Love from Southern Ohio, Paige
for some reason your video popped up randomly on my home page - you seem like such a genuine person. Glad you are able to live your truth and you look so happy!
This is very relatable for me. I am currently doing exactly what you advise not to do. The lying and hiding because of the fear of losing my spouse. She knows I have these feelings but has said she cannot be with me if I take the path of transition. Deep down I know what needs to happen but I haven’t mustered the courage to do it. You were lucky that you had no kids, which is another variablefor me. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. Don’t beat yourself up on how you handled this. Because of platform’s like this and you willing to tell your experience you are helping so many people.
I know how difficult it is to open up, especially when it's this personal. Just know that this is one of your old MySpace friends and, yes, I'm still following you and I am proud to be one of your friends. Just be safe & be happy. That's all any of us can ask.
You articulate beautifully what so many people go through and how brutally hard it is. And you do it with unerring love and compassion. Kayla you are a legend!
Your story had so many similarities to my journey! After transition, I promised myself never to lie again! Life is so much more straight forward without having to remember all the different lies! After my divorce, I did find another significant other and we are living happily as a lesbian couple.
I realise this comment is coming a long time after this video was posted, but just had to say thank you for posting this. You can see the anguish you went through, and I can't imagine how hard it was to go through everything you talked about. I hope you are through the hard times now and that you are getting all the love and support you deserve from your friends, family, significant other, and your subscribers. Keep lighting up UA-cam with your smile!
Another fantastic heartfelt video Kayla. While I already knew your story, just listening to you elaborate in detail about your relationship with your wife was so interesting and informative. My heart goes out to you for having had a difficult time in your marriage especially with someone you really loved. I know now that you learned a lot about yourself and have moved on in your transition to be the authentic person you always knew you were. I’m sure this video stirred up painful memories for you but I applaud your strength and determination for wanting to tell your following how you felt early on in your marriage. So happy it all turned out for the best for you and your ex. Thank you again for producing these wonderful videos for us to be inspired by and to learn from. You truly are a very special person. Wishing you all the best in ‘22. ❤️
I watched your video because I am your ex wife in this situation. My husband who I had kids with did this to me. What you said at the end about lying is so true. That’s what broke us! I felt so betrayed… he lied not once but many times to me. I felt I didn’t know if he was someone I could trust. I still resent him for lying. He just told me today that he wants to transition now (it’s been 3 years since our divorce.) I honestly support him in that Journey but I will always hold some resentment for what he did. He claimed to love me, but you can not love someone you lie to. That is not love. That’s selfish. I felt I had no say so in my life. I wish he would have told me from day one. I may have been supportive… I just couldn’t take all the lies. It was heartbreaking. 💔 I am mad our kids have to go through this life without a father… it’s not the life I would have chosen. I wish he would see that they need a father. I wish he would love himself and see how amazing he is without a transition. I don’t want him to be unhappy. I don’t but he sure has been awfully selfish without thinking about his family. Sorry if I sound like a bigot. I have really close friends that I stood by them and their transition but they never lied to me about who they were. They never put me in such an awful position without thinking what their actions would do. To anyone transitioning just be honest sooner rather than later. It’s not that people in your life won’t love you, it’s more of a slap in the face when they find out they have been lied to.
My oldest cousin got married when They were in their early 30's. She freaked out the first time. Now she lived with us through high school and her first two years of college, so she was more of a sister than cousin. So, she came up to mom and dads and we were able to talk. She was scared about finding someone to have kids with. Then I asked her what she liked about him. She ended up having two kids with him in less than 2 years. A year later she dropped the divorce hammer and they co habituated for 2 more years so 3 years into the transformation, and then lived close to each other. So at 37 she got married again and had two more kids. The funny part her husband would joke on who looked hotter, her or her EX. just to F with her ex. She got our grandmothers genes for keeping her body after birth and while getting older. I can remember going down to their daughter's wedding last year and her ex's father walked her down the aisle. danced with her for the daughter father dance. Her in laws took it way harder than her. He was an only child, so they put her on a pedestal for allowing them to be grandparents and not a dead end line. After my 4th wife and son died, I did a lot of babysitting for her. I think the most awkward moment I had was when she came back with a guy (her future husband) and he saw me in the morning fixing a bunch of food. He got all defensive trying to blot out of the house and I just said, well you should be happy I am not my cousin's ex and that would be fucking awkward. Then her BFF that was out with her came out of the guest bedroom and hugged me, we had a history going back to high school.
From what the poster has said she was conflicted and confused; loved her then wife but was being asked to abandon who they were at their core. I have empathy but don’t see it as so linear. I think when anyone is deeply conflicted, between two worlds. It’s fear. Children together is very difficult. Trekking the truth means letting go that life go: marriage, children… a lot to let go. As hard as it is it probably take ms the non transitioning party to say:,I can’t be in this situation. You need to be who you are and stop clinging to fear and what’s familiar. I’m angry and feel betrayed but I can’t live like this. I’m not saying you were complicit.
You don't sound like a bigot to me. You and your kids are suffering the consequences of his choice of not letting you know what was going on. How else are you supposed to feel?!
I am so sorry he did this to you. He should have been honest with you. He wasted many years of your life telling lies. It was very selfish. He should have told the truth & let you go on with your lives. I hope you can heal and have a happy life
Hey Kayla, great video. Wish you would post more often. Your story demonstrates that if you lie to yourself you end up lying to everyone around you. So glad it all turned out for the best. Take care and please post again soon.
Oh, Kayla, I feel for you. Bottom line is we have to be who we are. Hiding becomes harder as time goes by. I'm happy you were able to become you and that you feel authentic in your body. Hugs!
Thank you so much for such an emotional testimony. I went through a very similar long story, failed mariage as you did for the very same reason. You explained it so nicely, I compasionate very much, and you are so right : hiding stuff are so harmfull. And life is so nice when you eventually admit who you truly are !
I do feel for you Kayla....... sounds like exactly what happened to me......... careless when chatting and then not discreet enough about my clothes. Then the talking and tears and the compromise and the purge and then, as we know it never ever goes away, once transgender, always transgender, the need to be me returned and this culminated in me becoming single again. I too hate myself to the core for it but it's me, it's us....... we were born this way. Wish I'd listened to this before getting married but unfortunately your advice wasn't available back then.......:( You are an inspiration Kayla...... love your presentation style..... keep the videos coming x
Transition while married is truly destructive. I went through the same process with many of the same problems, right up to preparing for suicide. .Somehow we all came through the other side even though we ended in divorce. That was back in 2003 and today we are friends. I would never wish that time on anyone. But the internal freedom I feel today is priceless. Good to see you posting Kayla
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I appreciate your honesty and you being vulnerable. You do inspire and encourage so many people, therefore remember that you are loved.
I’ve been battling to come out to my wife for months. Your story helped me have the courage to do it! Unfortunately we had a similar outcome, but seeing how happy you are makes me excited for my own future. ❤
Your story is very inspirational and personally moving since having my own struggles. Those who are married and wanting desparately to transition or express themselves need to see this video. You should really be commended for trying so hard to keep the relationship going. It's unfortunate people don't understand that gender dysphoria is so powerful and it's not a choice or we can "make it go away" - it's simply who we are. Honestly, you are a much better person for showing so much patience. You are a wonderful caring woman!
Great advice Kayla, we cannot lie to ourselves and to others. But I totally understand how fear and loosing someone you care about makes you hide who you really are. Hope your ex watches this video.
Thank you for these awesome storylines. The message between the stories is comming across. Besides being usefull at work, as a teacher in highschool, your stories touched. TY again
Kayla, you have a beautiful smile and I can see how truly happy you are. I also see that you are truly interested in everyone having a successful transition path to their best possible self, what ever that may be? My takeaway from this video is that honesty is the ultimately best policy. Being honest about myself is something I’ve always aspired to, just it seems like I’d fallen short a time or two, only to try again and fall short again.
Kayla, such a sad and heartbreaking story. I feel so bad for you, but you are in a better place now. I understand some of your feelings. I started off cross dressing and did the lying and hiding for years. Finally couldn't take it anymore and came out to my wife of 35 years. Started HRT 2 months ago and am very happy that I can now live as my authentic self! My wife is somewhat accepting, though hard to say what will happen as I transition more. But as you said, you make new friends and have your family. My family ( parents, siblings, and my adult chit) have been wonderfully accepting, and I have met wonderful people online that accept me for who I am. This has made my transition all the better! You are such a beautiful woman inside and out! Your wisdom and compassion are inspiring! ❤️💖💕💗
Thanks for sharing this Kayla! Excellent advice on how being honest with yourself and others is the healthier option for everyone. I know a large part of why I was single for so long was precisely because I feared heartbreaking experiences like yours, and so just avoided being close altogether. Gradually coming out to family and friends has meant more opportunities for true connection, as well as relief in not having to hide anymore (am I’m continually pleasantly surprised at how many have been loving and accepting, particularly from my past church and Bible study friends!). It can’t be easy to relay difficult tales like this: thank you for sharing, and hope this finds you well!! And if you are ever back in NYC, would love to meet up again! It’s good we got to do the Stonewall Inn pilgrimage, but definitely have found way more fun venues to visit in the years since then. :)
Thank you for sharing your journery, I"m divorced almost 3 years now, and am really just now letting myself start to explore this side of myself. Your comment on her saying you weren't smiling as a man, and while I smiled when I was married, I am truly beaming when I am dressed and there is a noticible difference. I'm not sure where I am going to end up....I turned 56 last week and I remember no cell phones, AOL and Yahoo messenger....;-) You look fantastic and your new self is amazing. Be well.
This is such a relatable story and I'm glad you told it. I think the most difficult thing to do as a trans man or even crossdresser is to reveal that secret to your significant other when it's already too late. It's tied into betrayal and a lack of trust between the two sides and this is why I later learned in life that you have to be straight up about who you are as early as possible that way you don't even have to go through the pain of what Kayla had to go through here and many of us. Sometimes we're too young to know ahead of time about needing the truth to come out. I think the best thing that happened is that you got out of that relationship because it was tearing you down and tearing you apart. Not being able to be yourself is not healthy mentally. It's great to be around people in your community because you can associate yourself or be in a relationship that welcomes you to be yourself.
Kayla, I don't know if you will ever see this but it had so many similar things with my life before I transitioned. Your story was heart wrenching and I felt so many similar things. I'm glad you are having a great life now. Me my life as my true self is amazing. Kudos to you sister❤️
As a trans woman myself, this was intense to listen too, but also super valuable. I can't imagine how hard this was when this happened. I'm glad it is in the past for you now. Thank you so much for sharing this!
I groaned at the part where the storage bill shows up in the mail. Ugh. I know that words like "bravery" and "courage" are overused-and sometimes misused-to describe experiences like yours, but it's clear that you possess both. You might punish yourself for the dishonesty, but the fact that you didn't give up on who you knew you were shows a massive amount of character and strength as well. It's also amazing that the person who could easily have become your greatest villain is the one who identified your sincere smile. Great insight. THANK YOU for sharing this.
Hi Kayla: I just discovered this video. Though our stories were are different they are also the same. I hung on to every word you said which brought back so many memories. Thank you so much for sharing! 🙏
Relationships while trans are so difficult. I never got caught but honestly when it came time for me to be me, not getting caught meant it was a bigger shock, a bigger betrayal sort of. That was 26 years ago now but my ex and I are still best friends, and she is an ally. I'm sorry your situation was so troubled Kayla.
Thank you so much for finding the courage to make this video Kayla. I can totally relate to every part of you personal narrative. Except to say I don't live in Texas, thank god, but a much more liberal coastal state. I get how easy it is to be trapped in living with an untruth. You are amazing. I hope you find the happiness you deserve.💖💖
Kayla, that story was so emotional. The fear, the confusion, the shear overwhelming feelings that both of you were dealing with was incredible especially the unbelievable dilemma that you were facing. I am amazed that you came through. Obviously with a great deal of anguish. I am just sitting hear stunned. Being driven to change your life was obviously all consuming and from the way you describe it, inevitable. Believe it or not there was a time in my life when I had the same feelings so I know how difficult it is to overcome. Some day I hope I can talk to you. David
I can't even begin to imagine what you went through, but one thing is for sure you are an amazing person, and I hope that your life is filled with nothing but happiness and cherished memories.
Thanks for this video, Kayla. I am going through a divorce right now, a consequence of my transition. It’s really hard, but your words, especially at the end of this, help me.
Thank you for sharing your story Kayla, I know it must have been very hard for you, being true to yourself is so important ,and I am so glad you have been able to.
The message that I take away from this based on my own lens of experience is that while suppressing and lying to hide who we are, we are also stealing happiness from those we love. I never confessed to my ex, but she saw both of our unhappiness and walked away. We both lost 20 years of the pursuit of happiness in our lives. Even now, I am closeted and not sure how to change that, but I hear the message loud and clear!! Thank you for sharing!
Wow. We used to talk online back in those days, but I didn't realize all of this trauma was going on in the background. You've become a beautiful, strong woman and your experience will help many people.
Kayla, that was a brave and heartfelt as well as a confession that people like us have to make. I, too, went through the journey for my lifetime, living in fear that people would find out my second self. My first wife knew about me and accepted me for my transgressions, she called it. We split, but she knew all about me. My second wife found out years after we were married and at first, she was helpful and understanding and bought clothes for me and makeup. I would dress alone and got pretty good at looking like a feminine person, but I never went out of the house. We were involved in the church and she got really invested in the the bible and she started to become less tolerant and I was traveling a lot and I would dress on the road and like you, I could appreciate my femininity, but, I wanted to share it with her and she became totally against it...she used the bible and passages that made me a total sinner in her eyes. I could go on and on, but your story parallels mine in many ways - I can't tell you how many times I looked like suicide was the only solution...I loved how you dealt with your situation and how beautiful that you have become - I would have loved to go down the path like you did, but my circumstances were different, but I have my clothes, shoes and wigs and I can dress any way I want now that I have some freedom with my wife of 20 years...but, I still wonder if I could have transitioned...way too late - thank you for sharing and I am delighted to follow you and live vicariously through your transition - Love, Wendi
Thank you for sharing ❤ What an awesome story. You are clearly a very good person. And very pretty, too. Too bad she could not accept you the way you are.
You went through a lot. Granted the lies killed it for you, but the end, I feel like you made a positive decision. You look Fabulous 🤩 now. Stay strong and positive. You don't have to punish yourself anymore. Remember, be true to who you are ❤️❤️❤️💯💯💗💗
Wow! This video is so amazing, I am so touched by it and it makes me think of who I am and who I want to be. You tell your story with such detail and passion and it is so much like mine. Thank you for letting us know your story. You are such a beautiful human being!!
You are such inspiration to me. My wife left me after 16 years together. After I came out to her. I saw her a couple of times after that. She said that she see me as a much happier person that I have become. I think you should be true to your self life is to shore not to be.
That Was Probably One Of The Best Happy/Sad Stories That I Ever Heard And From Beginning To End From Basketball To School To Married To Divorce From Transitioning To Hiding It From Her She Was The One For You But Couldn't Deal With You Being Trans And She Moved On'nnn And You Have Blossomed And Bloomed Into This Gorgeousness Looking Female ?..But Where Is The Love That's Waiting For You Like You Had Before Because It's Doubley Hard-er To Find That Type Of Rare Air Love Like That ? But At Lest That You're Happier Now Because You Smile Is Like The Chester Cat In Alice In Wonderland Living Your TRUE Self Now And Man Look @ You GLOW
I followed you on tumblr (no longer on the platform), 5 or 6 years back when I was still in uni. You seemed like you had your 'stuff together', at least more than I did. So for me, you were someone to look up to, like, 'wow, one day I'm going to have my stuff figured out like her'. So. I guess. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself online, it made a difference for me, when I was younger.
My ex was a bit of an angry sort of soul. There are some things a person just knows will bring them greater harm, and possibly even others. Especially if we share them with people who do not hold our best interests equal with their own, but rather instead, begin demanding that their interest should take precedence over our own. It's easy to assume you're right all the time, when you only listen to yourself, I guess. Divorce is a hard process but, so is being put down for simply being who you are on the inside. I did that for almost fifteen years and learned one thing for certain. It's truly the heart that matters most. No matter what journey or path we walk, we should all strive for the dignity of all and with great pride in who we are.
Thank you Kayla...this really was insightful and helpful. We all have our own unique circumstances but the message that you have conveyed is very appropriate for us all to remember...Thank you!
Our story is sooo similar. Baptist, youth groups, basketball, being married to your soulmate, lying to your mate, MySpace, OMGOSH!! Do you remember Michelle’s last name? Where she was from? I hope you have peace now dear. It’s taken me longer because me and my ex wife had a son together. But… I do not regret that at all. He’s my heart!! 🤗🙏🏼💕
Hi Kayla, just wanted to tell you that your story of your marriage was so meaningful to me. You are a wonderful role model. Thank you for sharing that terribly difficult part of your life.
I have waited for this sharing of you. Glad you heard others request for your story and decided to share. Being a counselor, I want to say, "take it easy on yourself". The teeth, eyebrows and marriage tell me you are a perfectionist. Your desire to be right comes from not wanting to be wrong. You win us over because we can relate. I sincerely say thank you for your transparency. We all need people that are transparent and vulnerable. A lesson from basketball might go like this, do you go out and tell your opponent all your bad playing habits? No, you go and play your best game. You have met our request and now I hope you will play your best game because we are counting on you. Very selfishly, I want you to be part of women's basketball. At this point in your life, I see the business side like promotion. I see you as a tired less worker to open doors for the next generation, including transgender women. Most of all you are in charge of your choices and where you place your effort. Thank you for sharing what was difficult and not disappointing us.
Kayla your story is so sad and I watched your story of your sister... it made me cry. My story is very similar to my except my twin brother died suddenly. Thankyou so much for your private stories. You look happy now and beautiful I have seen all your videos Ashleigh 💖🌼🌷💐🌻⚘🌺
Kayla: There is no right way to come out. I have heard so many stories and they are so similar and full of "mistakes"; I lost my wife too, I guess we love more intensely than cis males or females and sadly most of us end up alone, I am not a psychologist, but I think that we keep it as a secret because we have been preconditioned and we so badly want to fit in and have a relationship. At least you can find solace that you achieved a successful transition and became a sweet and beautiful woman.
We must make a video about where to move in order to establish a life in a place where you are met with acceptance, and love, and possibilities for a good life. I am impressed how Kayla has established a new life, real-estate work, and still is sprouting with basketball shooting - videos.
Thank you so much for sharing your back story. I remember you on MySpace an you looked naturally feminine to me. I was raped when I was 5 in a dress and wedge heels by a Roman Catholic man , so religious beliefs aren't for me,but you be you. Yes I tried to commit suicide for 4 years and I cried everytime. It wasn't until 2014 when I was living in Winnipeg Canada that I had total recall of what happened when I was 5. I thought I was going to transition in the 90s and it didn't happen. I have had essential tremor since I was 7and eyeliner and mascara has been a struggle. Fast forward to 2018 I had a body temperature of 47 and a blood clot on my lung and the hopes and dreams I had were NOTHING. I'm single, never married and I don't trust people! I had a transgender girlfriend who is a narcissist and it didn't work out. In the last few weeks I think I have developed Parkinson's disease and it's not going well for me. I have seen you develop your femininity and heard of your surgery and you are a gorgeous woman ! With tears in my eyes , I wish I could be normal like you, but we have different paths. I don't know how long I have,but I hope you feel the love and compassion I have to hear your story.
Yes, I to have tremors and am 60 years old. My wife has separated from me and most of our money comes from her. She attends a Baptist church and I attend a Church of Christ; witch now is a nondenominal Church, but I have become to believe that within the last few weeks that God is first, then what I think is second. I know I'm on the right path because I asked God, You know me better than myself. Is it O.K. for me to pursue my dream to take estrogen instead of testosterone. I am an XXY male, and I have more problems with testosterone than anyone can imagine! I to, Love Kayla Ward for the strength she gives us to carry on. I pray for her every day to come back to God! God Loves you to Joathan. Reach out with all your heart to Him and He will give you Love and Pease! He is waiting.
You are absolutely beautiful ! I’m not trans, nor will I ever be. Until a few years ago it wasn’t a subject I gave any thought to or had experience with. Then I had a few awkward moments with customers at work that may have been transgender. Similar to the Pat snl skits, I was confused about using “sir” or “ma’am”. No doubt that while I wasn’t being rude, I unwittingly made it awkward. I tried to do research on the internet. It proved to be a difficult task as most information was for srs clinics, which wasn’t helpful, or porn that wasn’t particularly helpful either. While my research was somewhat difficult for me, I can’t begin to imagine how difficult things were for you during dial-up years. Fortunately videos like yours have become more common and can be informative and sometimes entertaining. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m divorced myself, so I found meaning in your story on many levels.
Such a great story, thank you so much for sharing, so much wisdom in you. I especially relate to the issue of Loving one’s self as a priority for happy is, if I can paraphrase you :-) I’m happy for you, you seem to be happy, and your beauty inside and out is clear. Thanks again.
the dialog about your smile.. well, she did a good and sincere thing there didn't she. must've hurt at the time, but... sounds like it was liberating. i'm happy that you've accepted your true self. and i'm happy i have accepted my true self too, after all that denial and unnecessary struggle)))
You weren’t dating yourself with the terms dialup, corded phones, AOL, MySpace…I know them all to well. ☺️ Plus you definitely don’t look dated…you look young and beautiful. You can talk about anything you want to, it’s all interesting and I’m sure it will help many out there dealing with the same situation or something close to it. I liked and like listening to your stories on your transition and before, they are interesting and they are a part of the wonderful woman you are today. Yes, it was probably the wrong way to have gone about it but you or anyone that you knew then or even now, would have been able to tell you the exact way to go about it and it’s understandable the way you did end up going about it. It would have been nice to have remained friends with your ex but you never know if she would have remained friends. But one thing that you did learn and everything that you have learned since, you are sharing with others going through transitioning or wanting to transition and helping them out which is the greatest gift that you can give from your experience. You went through a lot to get to where you are today and everyone who follows you should take a look at you and see the beautiful woman you are today, inside and out. Keep sharing because you don’t know who and how many people you are helping that need the help to get through a part of their life that you have experienced. You are a sweetheart. And beautiful, not dated. ☺️💞💞💞
Interesting story But If you marry a man or a woman why would that person want to be with someone who feels they’re the same gender? So much misery and pain could be avoided by not getting into a relationship when you know you’re confused about such significant stuff The era of Caitlyn Jenner is one thing These are different times I’m glad you’ve both moved on though surprised you try to reach out to your ex. She battled for who she thought she married She needs her peace and space now.
You were courageous to tell that part of your own history. That makes you help anyone that struggles with the same issues you had. Gladly you now live your truth and are free to be yourself. I could see you felt awkward in some moments, but that's part of opening your heart and telling an important part of your life.
thank you kayla! im trying to come out! after 33 years of marriage im afraid of osing my family but i have been transitioning over 4 years now and need to come out! Im scared.
Kayla you’re not the only one that did everything the wrong way. Lied to my wife many times. Had my clothes in storage. But it never goes away. I started hrt without her knowing. I was so terrified of losing her that I couldn’t tell her the truth. She pried it out of me when she saw it on my face and much pain I was in. Married 37 years and facing a very painful divorce. The crazy thing is we still love each other and are closer and more honest with each other now than ever before. I think we will remain good friends but we both know that neither one of us can change.
Kayla I so sorry you went through all this. You are the first person I found like this and I have to say I love you for everything you have done after. I'm sorry you lost your GF/Wife but maybe it was for the best. I to have had the same feelings but never went through with any of it. I first found you when you did the vid of going into the Shoe Dept. LOL. Now at 66 I'm good with everything. I wish you the best with everything you do. Good Luck and I'm glad your Family has come around. Love yea.
Most importantly, you were an adult and spent a number of years trying to be yourself! Sadly was very difficult to come out years ago and now it’s too easy! Making this decision as an adult and facing yourself takes courage and I certainly do not blame your ex-spouse, I understand your consternation though! ✨💛✨🧡✨
OMG!! I think that YIM you mention was from me. We used to chat often in those early days. I feel so bad for the pain you underwent to finally become the real you. Love you, Kayla. XOXO
I’ve been going through simular struggles and I’m actually from waco lol. But I’ve started my transition like last week so far so good and couldn’t be happier
The first 1,000 people to use this link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/kaylaward02221
Thank you for sharing your journey. I will be 64 next month and am researching learning everything I can about the trans life in order to support my trans grandson whom I’ve raised . He’s 23 and came out to us when he was 15. He had had a trial some adolescence and we finally figured out what it was that was “bothering him” . I appreciate you sharing so those of us who need to learn can do so in order to be there for our loved ones.
No one should have to go all this hell to b their true self. No one really seems to know why some r born the wrong gender. Anyone so hateful needs counciling. This is not a matter to me of religion. It is a matter of humanity. U r beautiful. U b u. 🙂
Thank you for sharing. I’ve been married to a trans woman for 33 years. She explained her situation when we’d been married 4 years. After the talk, we agreed that we still loved each other deeply. I said I supported her…I said that if I held her back she would eventually resent me. We decided we would take it one day at a time. Our love never wavered, we are still together and happy!
Well you are smiling now. What a beautiful smile it is. Loaded with joy, happiness, and relief.
"It never goes away'" no truer words have ever been spoken.
Having come from a very religious family also, and still in the closet, I know the guilt one deals with daily. Your story really resonates with me, and I am glad that you are able to be yourself. I'm in my 70s now, and not sure I will ever attain your happiness, but the few times I am alone, is a temporary satisfaction. I'm envious of your permanent happiness.
Every day, you alone .. have the power to make it a good day sis X 😘
Unto you first God, having raised up his Son Jesus, sent him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from his iniquities. Acts 3:26 KJV.
@@benrizzo3880 "Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and HUMBLE." You think you speak for God? When Christ arrived from Heaven's Glory sharing his existence with us, He shared what it meant to be bathe in God's light and palm. Christ often praised acceptance, love, and empathy; the bible speaks of people like YOU. You do not speak for God.
I know it's been a year but I just wanted to say I really hope you've found your happiness
The Bible is flawed. If you want to go by what is written in it then three times in the Bible it instructs to not alter the context and/or believe the word of an altered context Bible because those who do either are forever Condemned to hell. I bring this up because the context has been altered not less than three times in it's history. Constantinople, the counsel of Nicea and King James all altered the Bible in order to control the masses.
Listening to your story really resonates with me and my battle with depression, I was in a previous relationship for seven years, I was unhappy with life in general, but my partner hated the idea of people sitting around, talking about feelings, and trying to find reasons for what was wrong with themselves. It got to a point where I was so mentally stuck that I couldn't bring myself to make major changes in my life, she wanted me to get a new job, and move to another city, but I just could't, so she left. I'm in a much better place now, with someone who is supportive of me needing to talk about problems and of me going to get professional help with my life. Its hard when you don't understand yourself enough to open up about who you truly are to someone else.
Hi Kayla. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm very sorry of the troubles you went through so you could embrace your authenticity. I, too, lied to my significant other especially pre hrt and in the first year of hrt. So I can relate with your story. The only difference is I left my significant other at the end of that year but through the power of understanding and unconditional love we got back together.
Though my transition has moved slower than I originally hoped (I am scheduled as of 2/23/2022 to have my GCS in September this year), my significant other has become one of my strongest allies and confidante. Even though we are struggling with some other issues; we have each other's backs and are very good friends and we do love each other.
I don't know where we'll end up but I no longer strand to the horizon to see the other side but embrace the day for what's it worth and my significant other's love.
I hope you nothing but the best for you, Kayla, and I really do love watching your videos.
Love from Southern Ohio,
Paige
for some reason your video popped up randomly on my home page - you seem like such a genuine person. Glad you are able to live your truth and you look so happy!
Agree. Wishing you peace. Enjoy your liberty.
This is very relatable for me. I am currently doing exactly what you advise not to do. The lying and hiding because of the fear of losing my spouse. She knows I have these feelings but has said she cannot be with me if I take the path of transition. Deep down I know what needs to happen but I haven’t mustered the courage to do it. You were lucky that you had no kids, which is another variablefor me. Thanks for sharing.
...yep. 🤦👍👍
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. Don’t beat yourself up on how you handled this. Because of platform’s like this and you willing to tell your experience you are helping so many people.
I know how difficult it is to open up, especially when it's this personal. Just know that this is one of your old MySpace friends and, yes, I'm still following you and I am proud to be one of your friends. Just be safe & be happy. That's all any of us can ask.
You articulate beautifully what so many people go through and how brutally hard it is. And you do it with unerring love and compassion. Kayla you are a legend!
Your story is so heartbreaking but Im glad you learned to accept yourself and love who you are. 🌟
Your story had so many similarities to my journey! After transition, I promised myself never to lie again! Life is so much more straight forward without having to remember all the different lies!
After my divorce, I did find another significant other and we are living happily as a lesbian couple.
I realise this comment is coming a long time after this video was posted, but just had to say thank you for posting this. You can see the anguish you went through, and I can't imagine how hard it was to go through everything you talked about. I hope you are through the hard times now and that you are getting all the love and support you deserve from your friends, family, significant other, and your subscribers. Keep lighting up UA-cam with your smile!
Another fantastic heartfelt video Kayla. While I already knew your story, just listening to you elaborate in detail about your relationship with your wife was so interesting and informative. My heart goes out to you for having had a difficult time in your marriage especially with someone you really loved. I know now that you learned a lot about yourself and have moved on in your transition to be the authentic person you always knew you were. I’m sure this video stirred up painful memories for you but I applaud your strength and determination for wanting to tell your following how you felt early on in your marriage. So happy it all turned out for the best for you and your ex. Thank you again for producing these wonderful videos for us to be inspired by and to learn from. You truly are a very special person. Wishing you all the best in ‘22. ❤️
I watched your video because I am your ex wife in this situation. My husband who I had kids with did this to me. What you said at the end about lying is so true. That’s what broke us! I felt so betrayed… he lied not once but many times to me. I felt I didn’t know if he was someone I could trust. I still resent him for lying. He just told me today that he wants to transition now (it’s been 3 years since our divorce.) I honestly support him in that Journey but I will always hold some resentment for what he did. He claimed to love me, but you can not love someone you lie to. That is not love. That’s selfish. I felt I had no say so in my life. I wish he would have told me from day one. I may have been supportive… I just couldn’t take all the lies. It was heartbreaking. 💔 I am mad our kids have to go through this life without a father… it’s not the life I would have chosen. I wish he would see that they need a father. I wish he would love himself and see how amazing he is without a transition. I don’t want him to be unhappy. I don’t but he sure has been awfully selfish without thinking about his family. Sorry if I sound like a bigot. I have really close friends that I stood by them and their transition but they never lied to me about who they were. They never put me in such an awful position without thinking what their actions would do.
To anyone transitioning just be honest sooner rather than later. It’s not that people in your life won’t love you, it’s more of a slap in the face when they find out they have been lied to.
My oldest cousin got married when They were in their early 30's. She freaked out the first time. Now she lived with us through high school and her first two years of college, so she was more of a sister than cousin. So, she came up to mom and dads and we were able to talk. She was scared about finding someone to have kids with. Then I asked her what she liked about him. She ended up having two kids with him in less than 2 years. A year later she dropped the divorce hammer and they co habituated for 2 more years so 3 years into the transformation, and then lived close to each other. So at 37 she got married again and had two more kids. The funny part her husband would joke on who looked hotter, her or her EX. just to F with her ex. She got our grandmothers genes for keeping her body after birth and while getting older. I can remember going down to their daughter's wedding last year and her ex's father walked her down the aisle. danced with her for the daughter father dance. Her in laws took it way harder than her. He was an only child, so they put her on a pedestal for allowing them to be grandparents and not a dead end line. After my 4th wife and son died, I did a lot of babysitting for her. I think the most awkward moment I had was when she came back with a guy (her future husband) and he saw me in the morning fixing a bunch of food. He got all defensive trying to blot out of the house and I just said, well you should be happy I am not my cousin's ex and that would be fucking awkward. Then her BFF that was out with her came out of the guest bedroom and hugged me, we had a history going back to high school.
From what the poster has said she was conflicted and confused; loved her then wife but was being asked to abandon who they were at their core. I have empathy but don’t see it as so linear. I think when anyone is deeply conflicted, between two worlds. It’s fear. Children together is very difficult. Trekking the truth means letting go that life go: marriage, children… a lot to let go. As hard as it is it probably take ms the non transitioning party to say:,I can’t be in this situation. You need to be who you are and stop clinging to fear and what’s familiar. I’m angry and feel betrayed but I can’t live like this. I’m not saying you were complicit.
You don't sound like a bigot to me. You and your kids are suffering the consequences of his choice of not letting you know what was going on. How else are you supposed to feel?!
I am so sorry he did this to you. He should have been honest with you. He wasted many years of your life telling lies. It was very selfish. He should have told the truth & let you go on with your lives. I hope you can heal and have a happy life
Hey Kayla, great video. Wish you would post more often. Your story demonstrates that if you lie to yourself you end up lying to everyone around you. So glad it all turned out for the best. Take care and please post again soon.
You’re incredibly vulnerable and brave and impressive. Much respect. And thank you for sharing your journey.
Oh, Kayla, I feel for you. Bottom line is we have to be who we are. Hiding becomes harder as time goes by. I'm happy you were able to become you and that you feel authentic in your body.
Hugs!
Captivating story. Be honest and true to yourself is the takeaway. You're brave and should be commended.
Thank you so much for such an emotional testimony. I went through a very similar long story, failed mariage as you did for the very same reason.
You explained it so nicely, I compasionate very much, and you are so right : hiding stuff are so harmfull.
And life is so nice when you eventually admit who you truly are !
I do feel for you Kayla....... sounds like exactly what happened to me......... careless when chatting and then not discreet enough about my clothes. Then the talking and tears and the compromise and the purge and then, as we know it never ever goes away, once transgender, always transgender, the need to be me returned and this culminated in me becoming single again. I too hate myself to the core for it but it's me, it's us....... we were born this way.
Wish I'd listened to this before getting married but unfortunately your advice wasn't available back then.......:(
You are an inspiration Kayla...... love your presentation style..... keep the videos coming x
Transition while married is truly destructive. I went through the same process with many of the same problems, right up to preparing for suicide. .Somehow we all came through the other side even though we ended in divorce. That was back in 2003 and today we are friends. I would never wish that time on anyone. But the internal freedom I feel today is priceless.
Good to see you posting Kayla
What a heartbreaking story! I'm glad you are in a much better place now. You are a beautiful woman and deserve to be happy!
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I appreciate your honesty and you being vulnerable. You do inspire and encourage so many people, therefore remember that you are loved.
Thank you for sharing, so glad your cats saved you because you are an amazing soul and this world is so much better with you in it!!!
I’ve been battling to come out to my wife for months. Your story helped me have the courage to do it! Unfortunately we had a similar outcome, but seeing how happy you are makes me excited for my own future. ❤
You're Fabulous!! Truthful and honest. A beautiful story we needed to hear.
Your story is very inspirational and personally moving since having my own struggles. Those who are married and wanting desparately to transition or express themselves need to see this video. You should really be commended for trying so hard to keep the relationship going. It's unfortunate people don't understand that gender dysphoria is so powerful and it's not a choice or we can "make it go away" - it's simply who we are. Honestly, you are a much better person for showing so much patience. You are a wonderful caring woman!
Great advice Kayla, we cannot lie to ourselves and to others. But I totally understand how fear and loosing someone you care about makes you hide who you really are. Hope your ex watches this video.
Thank you for these awesome storylines.
The message between the stories is comming across.
Besides being usefull at work, as a teacher in highschool, your stories touched.
TY again
Kayla, you have a beautiful smile and I can see how truly happy you are. I also see that you are truly interested in everyone having a successful transition path to their best possible self, what ever that may be? My takeaway from this video is that honesty is the ultimately best policy. Being honest about myself is something I’ve always aspired to, just it seems like I’d fallen short a time or two, only to try again and fall short again.
I'm sorry you went through so much pain.You're a beautiful kind hearted person. Many blessings to you.
Kayla, such a sad and heartbreaking story. I feel so bad for you, but you are in a better place now. I understand some of your feelings. I started off cross dressing and did the lying and hiding for years. Finally couldn't take it anymore and came out to my wife of 35 years. Started HRT 2 months ago and am very happy that I can now live as my authentic self! My wife is somewhat accepting, though hard to say what will happen as I transition more. But as you said, you make new friends and have your family. My family ( parents, siblings, and my adult chit) have been wonderfully accepting, and I have met wonderful people online that accept me for who I am. This has made my transition all the better!
You are such a beautiful woman inside and out! Your wisdom and compassion are inspiring! ❤️💖💕💗
Thanks for sharing this Kayla! Excellent advice on how being honest with yourself and others is the healthier option for everyone. I know a large part of why I was single for so long was precisely because I feared heartbreaking experiences like yours, and so just avoided being close altogether. Gradually coming out to family and friends has meant more opportunities for true connection, as well as relief in not having to hide anymore (am I’m continually pleasantly surprised at how many have been loving and accepting, particularly from my past church and Bible study friends!).
It can’t be easy to relay difficult tales like this: thank you for sharing, and hope this finds you well!! And if you are ever back in NYC, would love to meet up again! It’s good we got to do the Stonewall Inn pilgrimage, but definitely have found way more fun venues to visit in the years since then. :)
I definitely need to make a trip there again and would love to hang out and see more of the city!
Your transition is so amazing, I'd do anything to look like you
Thank you for sharing your journery, I"m divorced almost 3 years now, and am really just now letting myself start to explore this side of myself. Your comment on her saying you weren't smiling as a man, and while I smiled when I was married, I am truly beaming when I am dressed and there is a noticible difference. I'm not sure where I am going to end up....I turned 56 last week and I remember no cell phones, AOL and Yahoo messenger....;-) You look fantastic and your new self is amazing. Be well.
This is such a relatable story and I'm glad you told it. I think the most difficult thing to do as a trans man or even crossdresser is to reveal that secret to your significant other when it's already too late. It's tied into betrayal and a lack of trust between the two sides and this is why I later learned in life that you have to be straight up about who you are as early as possible that way you don't even have to go through the pain of what Kayla had to go through here and many of us. Sometimes we're too young to know ahead of time about needing the truth to come out. I think the best thing that happened is that you got out of that relationship because it was tearing you down and tearing you apart. Not being able to be yourself is not healthy mentally. It's great to be around people in your community because you can associate yourself or be in a relationship that welcomes you to be yourself.
Kayla, I don't know if you will ever see this but it had so many similar things with my life before I transitioned. Your story was heart wrenching and I felt so many similar things. I'm glad you are having a great life now. Me my life as my true self is amazing. Kudos to you sister❤️
Kayla what a precious person you are.thanks for sharing your story. I love your voice. You are beautiful
Wow! I'm mighty glad those cats were there to save you. Good luck on your journey wherever it takes you.
As a trans woman myself, this was intense to listen too, but also super valuable. I can't imagine how hard this was when this happened. I'm glad it is in the past for you now. Thank you so much for sharing this!
I groaned at the part where the storage bill shows up in the mail. Ugh. I know that words like "bravery" and "courage" are overused-and sometimes misused-to describe experiences like yours, but it's clear that you possess both. You might punish yourself for the dishonesty, but the fact that you didn't give up on who you knew you were shows a massive amount of character and strength as well. It's also amazing that the person who could easily have become your greatest villain is the one who identified your sincere smile. Great insight. THANK YOU for sharing this.
Thank you for sharing your story so authentically Kayla 😊❤
Hi Kayla: I just discovered this video. Though our stories were are different they are also the same. I hung on to every word you said which brought back so many memories. Thank you so much for sharing! 🙏
Relationships while trans are so difficult. I never got caught but honestly when it came time for me to be me, not getting caught meant it was a bigger shock, a bigger betrayal sort of. That was 26 years ago now but my ex and I are still best friends, and she is an ally. I'm sorry your situation was so troubled Kayla.
Thank you so much for finding the courage to make this video Kayla. I can totally relate to every part of you personal narrative. Except to say I don't live in Texas, thank god, but a much more liberal coastal state. I get how easy it is to be trapped in living with an untruth. You are amazing. I hope you find the happiness you deserve.💖💖
Kayla, that story was so emotional. The fear, the confusion, the shear overwhelming feelings that both of you were dealing with was incredible especially the unbelievable dilemma that you were facing. I am amazed that you came through. Obviously with a great deal of anguish. I am just sitting hear stunned. Being driven to change your life was obviously all consuming and from the way you describe it, inevitable. Believe it or not there was a time in my life when I had the same feelings so I know how difficult it is to overcome. Some day I hope I can talk to you. David
I can't even begin to imagine what you went through, but one thing is for sure you are an amazing person, and I hope that your life is filled with nothing but happiness and cherished memories.
Thanks for this video, Kayla. I am going through a divorce right now, a consequence of my transition. It’s really hard, but your words, especially at the end of this, help me.
Thank you for sharing your story Kayla, I know it must have been very hard for you, being true to yourself is so important ,and I am so glad you have been able to.
The message that I take away from this based on my own lens of experience is that while suppressing and lying to hide who we are, we are also stealing happiness from those we love. I never confessed to my ex, but she saw both of our unhappiness and walked away. We both lost 20 years of the pursuit of happiness in our lives. Even now, I am closeted and not sure how to change that, but I hear the message loud and clear!! Thank you for sharing!
Wow beautiful cute innocent perfection in one frame
Wow. We used to talk online back in those days, but I didn't realize all of this trauma was going on in the background. You've become a beautiful, strong woman and your experience will help many people.
I love the pastels in your living room, I’ve never thought of using lighter colours like that!
Kayla, that was a brave and heartfelt as well as a confession that people like us have to make. I, too, went through the journey for my lifetime, living in fear that people would find out my second self. My first wife knew about me and accepted me for my transgressions, she called it. We split, but she knew all about me. My second wife found out years after we were married and at first, she was helpful and understanding and bought clothes for me and makeup. I would dress alone and got pretty good at looking like a feminine person, but I never went out of the house. We were involved in the church and she got really invested in the the bible and she started to become less tolerant and I was traveling a lot and I would dress on the road and like you, I could appreciate my femininity, but, I wanted to share it with her and she became totally against it...she used the bible and passages that made me a total sinner in her eyes. I could go on and on, but your story parallels mine in many ways - I can't tell you how many times I looked like suicide was the only solution...I loved how you dealt with your situation and how beautiful that you have become - I would have loved to go down the path like you did, but my circumstances were different, but I have my clothes, shoes and wigs and I can dress any way I want now that I have some freedom with my wife of 20 years...but, I still wonder if I could have transitioned...way too late - thank you for sharing and I am delighted to follow you and live vicariously through your transition - Love, Wendi
Thank you for sharing ❤ What an awesome story. You are clearly a very good person. And very pretty, too. Too bad she could not accept you the way you are.
That was an amazing story/journey from someone that is special in this world of chaos.
Wow, this is such an honest touching story..
For a normal guy, this is the first time I heard such an deep insight.. coukd nt stopp watching .. GReat
You went through a lot. Granted the lies killed it for you, but the end, I feel like you made a positive decision. You look Fabulous 🤩 now. Stay strong and positive. You don't have to punish yourself anymore. Remember, be true to who you are ❤️❤️❤️💯💯💗💗
I can relate to a lot of this but add kids to the mix 🤷🏻♀️ Such a hard time…
I want to hear more from the ex wives and girlfriends point of view. Now called trans widows. It seems too many are still embarrassed to speak.
relate how ?
Wow! This video is so amazing, I am so touched by it and it makes me think of who I am and who I want to be. You tell your story with such detail and passion and it is so much like mine. Thank you for letting us know your story. You are such a beautiful human being!!
You are such inspiration to me. My wife left me after 16 years together. After I came out to her. I saw her a couple of times after that. She said that she see me as a much happier person that I have become. I think you should be true to your self life is to shore not to be.
That Was Probably One Of The Best Happy/Sad Stories That I Ever Heard And From Beginning To End From Basketball To School To Married To Divorce From Transitioning To Hiding It From Her She Was The One For You But Couldn't Deal With You Being Trans And She Moved On'nnn And You Have Blossomed And Bloomed Into This Gorgeousness Looking Female ?..But Where Is The Love That's Waiting For You Like You Had Before Because It's Doubley Hard-er To Find That Type Of Rare Air Love Like That ? But At Lest That You're Happier Now Because You Smile Is Like The Chester Cat In Alice In Wonderland Living Your TRUE Self Now And Man Look @ You GLOW
I followed you on tumblr (no longer on the platform), 5 or 6 years back when I was still in uni. You seemed like you had your 'stuff together', at least more than I did. So for me, you were someone to look up to, like, 'wow, one day I'm going to have my stuff figured out like her'. So. I guess. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself online, it made a difference for me, when I was younger.
I wish I had the grit and courage you have. Please know how much I admire that in you. Sometimes I wish I had had the courage. Go girl!
My ex was a bit of an angry sort of soul. There are some things a person just knows will bring them greater harm, and possibly even others. Especially if we share them with people who do not hold our best interests equal with their own, but rather instead, begin demanding that their interest should take precedence over our own. It's easy to assume you're right all the time, when you only listen to yourself, I guess. Divorce is a hard process but, so is being put down for simply being who you are on the inside. I did that for almost fifteen years and learned one thing for certain. It's truly the heart that matters most. No matter what journey or path we walk, we should all strive for the dignity of all and with great pride in who we are.
Very true!
I'm impressed with you and touched by your story. It get's easier.
That was a very touching story. I can relate to it a lot. I know that feeling and I hope you are doing well today. God bless you.
Thank you Kayla...this really was insightful and helpful. We all have our own unique circumstances but the message that you have conveyed is very appropriate for us all to remember...Thank you!
Beautiful story Kayla! Thank you for sharing!
Very truthful story. I love the inspiration you give at the end. There is no easy way to deal with a situation like this. The struggle is real
Our story is sooo similar. Baptist, youth groups, basketball, being married to your soulmate, lying to your mate, MySpace, OMGOSH!! Do you remember Michelle’s last name? Where she was from?
I hope you have peace now dear. It’s taken me longer because me and my ex wife had a son together. But… I do not regret that at all. He’s my heart!! 🤗🙏🏼💕
Hi Kayla, just wanted to tell you that your story of your marriage was so meaningful to me. You are a wonderful role model. Thank you for sharing that terribly difficult part of your life.
I have waited for this sharing of you. Glad you heard others request for your story and decided to share. Being a counselor, I want to say, "take it easy on yourself". The teeth, eyebrows and marriage tell me you are a perfectionist. Your desire to be right comes from not wanting to be wrong. You win us over because we can relate. I sincerely say thank you for your transparency. We all need people that are transparent and vulnerable. A lesson from basketball might go like this, do you go out and tell your opponent all your bad playing habits? No, you go and play your best game. You have met our request and now I hope you will play your best game because we are counting on you. Very selfishly, I want you to be part of women's basketball. At this point in your life, I see the business side like promotion. I see you as a tired less worker to open doors for the next generation, including transgender women. Most of all you are in charge of your choices and where you place your effort. Thank you for sharing what was difficult and not disappointing us.
Kayla your story is so sad and I watched your story of your sister... it made me cry. My story is very similar to my except my twin brother died suddenly. Thankyou so much for your private stories. You look happy now and beautiful I have seen all your videos Ashleigh 💖🌼🌷💐🌻⚘🌺
Kayla: There is no right way to come out. I have heard so many stories and they are so similar and full of "mistakes"; I lost my wife too, I guess we love more intensely than cis males or females and sadly most of us end up alone, I am not a psychologist, but I think that we keep it as a secret because we have been preconditioned and we so badly want to fit in and have a relationship. At least you can find solace that you achieved a successful transition and became a sweet and beautiful woman.
You seem like one of the sweetest persons i have ever met and you are certainly one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen.
We must make a video about where to move in order to establish a life in a place where you are met with acceptance, and love, and possibilities for a good life. I am impressed how Kayla has established a new life, real-estate work, and still is sprouting with basketball shooting - videos.
Your story resonates with a lot of us . Thank you for sharing ❤️♥️ you are awesome!
Thank you so much for sharing your back story. I remember you on MySpace an you looked naturally feminine to me.
I was raped when I was 5 in a dress and wedge heels by a Roman Catholic man , so religious beliefs aren't for me,but you be you. Yes I tried to commit suicide for 4 years and I cried everytime.
It wasn't until 2014 when I was living in Winnipeg Canada that I had total recall of what happened when I was 5.
I thought I was going to transition in the 90s and it didn't happen. I have had essential tremor since I was 7and eyeliner and mascara has been a struggle. Fast forward to 2018 I had a body temperature of 47 and a blood clot on my lung and the hopes and dreams I had were NOTHING.
I'm single, never married and I don't trust people! I had a transgender girlfriend who is a narcissist and it didn't work out.
In the last few weeks I think I have developed Parkinson's disease and it's not going well for me.
I have seen you develop your femininity and heard of your surgery and you are a gorgeous woman !
With tears in my eyes , I wish I could be normal like you, but we have different paths. I don't know how long I have,but I hope you feel the love and compassion I have to hear your story.
Yes, I to have tremors and am 60 years old. My wife has separated from me and most of our money comes from her. She attends a Baptist church and I attend a Church of Christ; witch now is a nondenominal Church, but I have become to believe that within the last few weeks that God is first, then what I think is second. I know I'm on the right path because I asked God, You know me better than myself. Is it O.K. for me to pursue my dream to take estrogen instead of testosterone. I am an XXY male, and I have more problems with testosterone than anyone can imagine! I to, Love Kayla Ward for the strength she gives us to carry on. I pray for her every day to come back to God! God Loves you to Joathan. Reach out with all your heart to Him and He will give you Love and Pease! He is waiting.
This made me cry 😿 am glad you made it through all that am sure your alot stronger now ❤
I am so very sorry for all you went through, and am so happy that you are through to the other side now ❤️
I'm a huge fan, and I wish I could meet you some time, but I'm way up here near Detroit. I just wanna hug you
You are a female soul and you are so pretty and you have a such a melodic feminine voice. Thank you for telling us your story
I thought her voice was masculine.
No offense meant by it, just could tell the masculine raspy flavor in her voice.
@@julianmayo5650Do you have ears?
You are absolutely beautiful !
I’m not trans, nor will I ever be.
Until a few years ago it wasn’t a subject I gave any thought to or had experience with.
Then I had a few awkward moments with customers at work that may have been transgender. Similar to the Pat snl skits, I was confused about using “sir” or “ma’am”. No doubt that while I wasn’t being rude, I unwittingly made it awkward.
I tried to do research on the internet. It proved to be a difficult task as most information was for srs clinics, which wasn’t helpful, or porn that wasn’t particularly helpful either.
While my research was somewhat difficult for me, I can’t begin to imagine how difficult things were for you during dial-up years.
Fortunately videos like yours have become more common and can be informative and sometimes entertaining.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I’m divorced myself, so I found meaning in your story on many levels.
Such a great story, thank you so much for sharing, so much wisdom in you. I especially relate to the issue of Loving one’s self as a priority for happy is, if I can paraphrase you :-)
I’m happy for you, you seem to be happy, and your beauty inside and out is clear. Thanks again.
the dialog about your smile.. well, she did a good and sincere thing there didn't she. must've hurt at the time, but... sounds like it was liberating. i'm happy that you've accepted your true self. and i'm happy i have accepted my true self too, after all that denial and unnecessary struggle)))
You weren’t dating yourself with the terms dialup, corded phones, AOL, MySpace…I know them all to well. ☺️ Plus you definitely don’t look dated…you look young and beautiful. You can talk about anything you want to, it’s all interesting and I’m sure it will help many out there dealing with the same situation or something close to it. I liked and like listening to your stories on your transition and before, they are interesting and they are a part of the wonderful woman you are today. Yes, it was probably the wrong way to have gone about it but you or anyone that you knew then or even now, would have been able to tell you the exact way to go about it and it’s understandable the way you did end up going about it. It would have been nice to have remained friends with your ex but you never know if she would have remained friends. But one thing that you did learn and everything that you have learned since, you are sharing with others going through transitioning or wanting to transition and helping them out which is the greatest gift that you can give from your experience. You went through a lot to get to where you are today and everyone who follows you should take a look at you and see the beautiful woman you are today, inside and out. Keep sharing because you don’t know who and how many people you are helping that need the help to get through a part of their life that you have experienced. You are a sweetheart. And beautiful, not dated. ☺️💞💞💞
Interesting story
But
If you marry a man or a woman why would that person want to be with someone who feels they’re the same gender?
So much misery and pain could be avoided by not getting into a relationship when you know you’re confused about such significant stuff
The era of Caitlyn Jenner is one thing
These are different times
I’m glad you’ve both moved on though surprised you try to reach out to your ex.
She battled for who she thought she married
She needs her peace and space now.
My heart is like with you every moment of this story! Especially 9:22 Thanks for sharing
You were courageous to tell that part of your own history. That makes you help anyone that struggles with the same issues you had. Gladly you now live your truth and are free to be yourself. I could see you felt awkward in some moments, but that's part of opening your heart and telling an important part of your life.
thank you kayla! im trying to come out! after 33 years of marriage im afraid of osing my family but i have been transitioning over 4 years now and need to come out! Im scared.
Kayla you’re not the only one that did everything the wrong way. Lied to my wife many times. Had my clothes in storage. But it never goes away. I started hrt without her knowing. I was so terrified of losing her that I couldn’t tell her the truth. She pried it out of me when she saw it on my face and much pain I was in. Married 37 years and facing a very painful divorce. The crazy thing is we still love each other and are closer and more honest with each other now than ever before. I think we will remain good friends but we both know that neither one of us can change.
Kayla I so sorry you went through all this. You are the first person I found like this and I have to say I love you for everything you have done after. I'm sorry you lost your GF/Wife but maybe it was for the best. I to have had the same feelings but never went through with any of it. I first found you when you did the vid of going into the Shoe Dept. LOL. Now at 66 I'm good with everything. I wish you the best with everything you do. Good Luck and I'm glad your Family has come around. Love yea.
Most importantly, you were an adult and spent a number of years trying to be yourself!
Sadly was very difficult to come out years ago and now it’s too easy! Making this decision as an adult and facing yourself takes courage and I certainly do not blame your ex-spouse, I understand your consternation though! ✨💛✨🧡✨
I could really feel your story. Thank you for sharing it. 💜🙏
OMG!! I think that YIM you mention was from me. We used to chat often in those early days. I feel so bad for the pain you underwent to finally become the real you. Love you, Kayla. XOXO
That was you!!! I’ve had quite the journey since then
I’ve been going through simular struggles and I’m actually from waco lol. But I’ve started my transition like last week so far so good and couldn’t be happier
I would never ever know you were trans at all. What a lovely person you are 💕💕💕