Thanks Dr Heidi for sharing the video. I think it is a wonderful teaching video for us to learn about coaching. The coachee is very open and definitely a very good coaching client to work with. Just out of curiosity, in your summary, you mentioned about working with her "confidence". It appears to me that she is not lacking in confidence and she has repeatedly mentioned that she is a confident person 2 or 3x during the conversation. Also, how is this confidence link to her initial goal of wanting to manage her ability to respond better when she perceived herself being dismissed or not respected as well as her desire to want to communicate in such a manner that brings about a better outcome?
Hi Mounyee - I don't think it is about personal confidence, I agree - I think she has plenty of this! But within the concept of 'not being heard or appreciated' - "confidence" might not be the right word, but a boost of perhaps self-belief may be useful!
This is an EXCELLENT VIDEO... Love it!!! I notice one thing that the client does that is noticeable... When she is getting upset, she makes almost a hissing sound, (tick) with her mouth, making it very obvious that she is mad, and upset. This "Sound" she makes with her mouth when she is upset is sending signals to whomever she is talking to, to "Back OFF, or I'm going to bite you" and let me Talk, because I am the Leader, I am better than you, and it is my way or the highway! 12:57 LISTEN to her (tick) hiss, and what she says here... 13:18 "... It's my way or the highway..." 14:01 "When I have had a couple of hard knocks with previous mangers" So this means she has had problems with other people, wondering if she need to look in the mirror and find out WHY she is having "problems" with more than one manger... is this a pattern? 15:35 And you say here to your client... reinforcing her own words, that it is "Her Rules" she wants everyone to follow... (I Like the way you did that). 17:09 Where you say, "Have you ever been in the potion where YOU dismissed someone when have heard enough and you switch gears! (Very good).. 18:54 You say, "There is a difference between leading and being in a Team".... Exactly!!! 19:17 I totally respect what the client is "feeling"... dismissed and disrespected by "Regional Director"... I see now. and how she was treated by the other (man) manger... he did disrespect her. 26:26 "There is nothing wrong with your English, you just need a different way to FIND your Voice" I love that... That needs to be put on a T-Shirt.
@@NLPwithDrHeidi I still want to become a NLP Therapist... I love the way you do NLP... You're so professional, yet engaging. Your client feels "Safe"... this comes with years of experience, obviously that you have. I have seen sooooooo many other NLP therapist, (on youtube) but a lot of them are not as savvy as you. You ask questions without hurting someone's feeling, yet at the same time you are making sure they're receiving your (knowledge) of what they need to learn. "I like how you think". Like I said, I want to be you when I grow up. I would still love to take your course when you come to Denver.... Although I live in New Mexico (USA)... it is the money aspects that are holding me back. As you already know, that I teach for Film and Theatre and love helping kids that are in trouble, but I want to help them, without the stigma of therapy. When we do NLP on stage... I do what you do, except we "ACT" it out. We started this in 2009. OOopppsss I didn't mean to write a novel. Thank you for listening.
Insecurity is the big issue but, in general, aside from this session... meetings that include only 3 people don’t work well. It’s either 2 , 4 or more. Usually 2 of the people in the group will join together just by the similar vibrations they share and leave the other on their own. 🙏🏻💜
To me it seems she has a right to be upset over how she is being treated. Why Is it a problem for her to be judgmental of the people disrespecting her? It seems to me she could have asserted that if her manager and teammate are ready to move on, they could first acknowledge her- for example, “thank you for that information or advice, we’ve gotten what we need, now let’s discuss.” As a high level manager it’s clear she has experienced workplace sexism and is rightly averse to it. I feel this approach is asking her to see the ‘problem’ as herself. What am I missing??
Hey Danielle, you bet she has a right to be upset! I don't think this makes her as the problem, but rather as the solution. We each have a different way of seeing things, and we don't have control of how other people react - but we have control over how we react to them. We can't make someone else say "thanks for that..." - she can only control herself, and her desired state is to change some of her beliefs and reactions, THAT is what we work toward with NLP, what she wants and what is within her control. I hope this helps!
Very nice demonstration 👍Love the way you use the conversation direction model!
Thanks Dr Heidi for sharing the video. I think it is a wonderful teaching video for us to learn about coaching. The coachee is very open and definitely a very good coaching client to work with. Just out of curiosity, in your summary, you mentioned about working with her "confidence". It appears to me that she is not lacking in confidence and she has repeatedly mentioned that she is a confident person 2 or 3x during the conversation. Also, how is this confidence link to her initial goal of wanting to manage her ability to respond better when she perceived herself being dismissed or not respected as well as her desire to want to communicate in such a manner that brings about a better outcome?
Hi Mounyee - I don't think it is about personal confidence, I agree - I think she has plenty of this! But within the concept of 'not being heard or appreciated' - "confidence" might not be the right word, but a boost of perhaps self-belief may be useful!
This is an EXCELLENT VIDEO... Love it!!!
I notice one thing that the client does that is noticeable...
When she is getting upset, she makes almost a hissing sound, (tick) with her mouth, making it very obvious that she is mad, and upset. This "Sound" she makes with her mouth when she is upset is sending signals to whomever she is talking to, to "Back OFF, or I'm going to bite you" and let me Talk, because I am the Leader, I am better than you, and it is my way or the highway!
12:57
LISTEN to her (tick) hiss, and what she says here...
13:18
"... It's my way or the highway..."
14:01
"When I have had a couple of hard knocks with previous mangers"
So this means she has had problems with other people, wondering if she need to look in the mirror and find out WHY she is having "problems" with more than one manger... is this a pattern?
15:35
And you say here to your client... reinforcing her own words, that it is "Her Rules" she wants everyone to follow... (I Like the way you did that).
17:09
Where you say, "Have you ever been in the potion where YOU dismissed someone when have heard enough and you switch gears!
(Very good)..
18:54
You say, "There is a difference between leading and being in a Team".... Exactly!!!
19:17 I totally respect what the client is "feeling"... dismissed and disrespected by "Regional Director"... I see now.
and how she was treated by the other (man) manger... he did disrespect her.
26:26
"There is nothing wrong with your English, you just need a different way to FIND your Voice"
I love that... That needs to be put on a T-Shirt.
Judi Christopher thank you for your brilliant insights! And wonderful sensory acuity on your part!
I hope you enjoy the other sessions here too!
Heidi
@@NLPwithDrHeidi
I still want to become a NLP Therapist...
I love the way you do NLP... You're so professional, yet engaging. Your client feels "Safe"... this comes with years of experience, obviously that you have.
I have seen sooooooo many other NLP therapist, (on youtube) but a lot of them are not as savvy as you. You ask questions without hurting someone's feeling, yet at the same time you are making sure they're receiving your (knowledge) of what they need to learn. "I like how you think".
Like I said, I want to be you when I grow up.
I would still love to take your course when you come to Denver.... Although I live in New Mexico (USA)... it is the money aspects that are holding me back.
As you already know, that I teach for Film and Theatre and love helping kids that are in trouble, but I want to help them, without the stigma of therapy. When we do NLP on stage... I do what you do, except we "ACT" it out. We started this in 2009.
OOopppsss I didn't mean to write a novel.
Thank you for listening.
"Thumbs UP"
Insecurity is the big issue but, in general, aside from this session... meetings that include only 3 people don’t work well. It’s either 2 , 4 or more. Usually 2 of the people in the group will join together just by the similar vibrations they share and leave the other on their own. 🙏🏻💜
13:19
.. "It is MY Way... or the Highway..." (OUCH).
To me it seems she has a right to be upset over how she is being treated. Why Is it a problem for her to be judgmental of the people disrespecting her? It seems to me she could have asserted that if her manager and teammate are ready to move on, they could first acknowledge her- for example, “thank you for that information or advice, we’ve gotten what we need, now let’s discuss.” As a high level manager it’s clear she has experienced workplace sexism and is rightly averse to it. I feel this approach is asking her to see the ‘problem’ as herself. What am I missing??
Hey Danielle, you bet she has a right to be upset! I don't think this makes her as the problem, but rather as the solution. We each have a different way of seeing things, and we don't have control of how other people react - but we have control over how we react to them. We can't make someone else say "thanks for that..." - she can only control herself, and her desired state is to change some of her beliefs and reactions, THAT is what we work toward with NLP, what she wants and what is within her control. I hope this helps!