But that's not the point the point is you have to start somewhere. And I wish people understood that because it's easy to hold a grudge and say oh you haven't spoken to me. Instead of letting it start from somewhere❤❤❤❤❤
Enabling more unaccountability is still not helping. Saying I was wrong, please forgive me, or I'm sorry and honestly meaning it, is the beginning of healing relationships
I 💯 percent agree agreed with you . Then we can move on . We all. Walk with a different light I walk with god only . For me you will have to ask forgiveness sincerely, I will know if you are being sincere then we can move on. ❤ only god can judge me and forgive me for all my sins amen
Do you? I don't always find that to be true. It depends. Most things aren't actually all that serious. Most things don't matter enough that it's necessary that someone else needs to know you're right. Let people be wrong.. it almost never matters. Things get serious though when you speak angry words. If anyone would care to get advice, I'd tell everyone to go to sleep angry... you'll find that most of the time when you wake... your anger will have passed and the topic you though you were pissed off about really isn't as serious as you were feeling. If it was... then bring it up when you're level to work it out which means having a solution in hand. If it wasn't... and your anger was uncalled for and you made the mistake of putting out aggressive energy... apologize and tell em you shouldn't have flown off the handle. If you watch dysfunctional relationships closely... like your parents... you'll notice they train each-other to piss one another off even without a good reason.
@@leahv.2537thats the whole point of this video. Some people, maybe most people that never reconnect need so badly for the other party to overly explain themselves that they never will reach the point of reconnecting. You don't need an apology in those exact words.
Same thing I say. That's a cop out and sounds like enabling another person who is not emotionally mature enough to apologize or get to the root of the issue. Now the bid for love is a start to the conversation, but in a few minutes we need to discuss the issue.
Sometimes you have to meet people at their level. I almost passed away last year from COVID-19/pneumonia and it was super scary because I was so young. Within a matter of days I had lost my ability to walk, talk, feed and pretty take care of myself. I’m fine now and was dubbed the ICU’s “miracle patient” that week because several others weren’t so lucky. I’ll never forget that time because many of the people surrounding my bedside during that time were family members who I hadn’t spoken to in months/years. When life starts life-ing, you quickly prioritize those who matter most and the bs falls by the wayside. Not speaking doesn’t include toxicity or compromised emotional safety all the time. We all have to learn to forgive our families and give people room/time to grow. 🙋🏾♂️ My $.02
And-- let’s not forget about the changes in the relationship so that the “bids” don’t happen again. Being manipulative or treating me like crap and I catch it and call it out (and the gaslight continues). Isn’t this a form of gaslighting? IDK-- but it’s not good. Naw, broham-- you can throw that in the trash. That should never be normalized in a relationship.
So true, I'm not talking to half my siblings because they love to disrespect me, lie on me and say shhh then be like "hey Kim" I'm not standing for it. Pretend like they never done anything and do the same thing again
Challenges in relationships are a normal part of life, but there’s always a path forward. My marriage encountered major difficulties, but with proper guidance, my wife and I managed to resolve our issues and deepen our connection. If you’re willing to put in the work and collaborate, solutions are always within reach. Keep hope alive; there are answers out there..
I’m facing serious problems in my relationship and can’t stand the thought of losing her. I love and miss my partner greatly and am willing to do whatever it takes to have her back. Any advice or guidance you can provide would be deeply appreciated.
Saying goodbye to someone you cherish is consistently difficult, yet in my case, I received support from a spiritual advisor who kept my marriage intact. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that following this path will bring about positive outcomes for me too; I long for her deeply.
After the bid for love conversation there needs to be a heartfelt honest conversation as well. Sweeping things under the rug and pretending like there’s no issue is problematic. Otherwise there’s no true resolve.
Right and he just showed how unresolved trauma was able to run rampant in the black community for years going unchecked . Therapy and God are so needed to heal us in totality!!
He is talking about the initial step, which is the bid. Whatever each party decides moving forward is their business. But the bid opens the door for the next steps to be those conversations that may be hard to have. The bid isn't about sweeping everything under the rug, it is about being open to the other person and vice-versa.
@@lovely.nellie Yes! But I think the bid is a reasonable entry point in SOME situations where the challenge wasn’t too extreme. The situation he used felt a little extreme and I actually don’t think a “bid” in that situation is a good move. But I do agree with you on that it’s a start and it shouldn’t end there.
That’s like sweeping the problem under the rug and continuing life like nothing happened!! This is the very reason why so many have to go to therapy, because they never talked about their issues and the consequences of actions!! SMH
I don’t know though. If you realize this person doesn’t have the capacity for certain things then they should be put in a category & you move accordingly with your boundaries.. not sweeping under the rug nor holding grudges but to the degree of I know what typa person you are & you know the typa person I am.. moreover I see you have not accepted what I have so therefore we’re not able to carry on a productive conversation on certain topics. * type stuff *
Exactly. My father isn't in my life but I tried for over a decade to have a relationship with him the problem is, he never apologized. We never healed. He never thought he was wrong and he was to stubborn to understand my side of things. I tried. But unless those difficult conversations are had, and people apologize, not many people can heal. It becomes this toxic relationship where you mask the pain and problems.
I can receive this. It took me getting older to understand how hard communication can be for some people. The fact that they try is the first step and you build on that. Don’t try and make it about you make it about the relationship. Everyone’s not capable and/or knowledgeable enough to talk like it came out a psychology textbook.
Even though, you still have to learn to say sorry, or apologize, it ain't gonna kill you to admit you're wrong, it shows your genuine remorse and sincerity of your heart, if it truly comes from your heart. Because ordinarily, when you act like nothing happened you are ignoring that you were ever wrong or almost like you never see yourself as wrong. saying sorry to someone you've hurt, offended or wronged definitely may seem awkward, weird to you, and unlike you even most likely difficult, but , if you're sincere and genuine, saying sorry when you're wrong can do a lot of wonders, maybe not always in the side of the offended ( if they still hold a grudge, I won't judge them ) but if from the depths of your heart you apologize, you'll feel the burden lifted , that if you sincerely have remorse. Even God himself acts in this same way, He knows our sins and faults but in most scripture He always emphasize that only if we acknowledge our sins and ASK FOR MERCY AND FORGIVENESS then will he forgive, heal us and etc. God bless .
He said thrive not survive. With a narcissist you would be trying to survive everyday. With a healthy relationship you would be thriving. He’s referring to healthy connections which may have not ended so badly. Or even toxic .
Time shorter than your bitterness...if your dad died in that state n you didn't feel anything. Would that mean you at that moment officially got passed all the grief and wonder what could have been? How you handle that reflects on YOU not them. No pleas being copped but a narcissist is made
I AGREE WITH THIS. Not everyone has the skill set to articulate an apology. Taking the 'bid for love' should be accepted , if we can put aside our offense temporarily so that after the bid for love is accepted, there is an open door for deeper conversation down the road. Love this!
Then you’re in denial and delusional. It’s not about offense. It’s about addressing the issue to find the solution. And just because they’re family doesn’t mean should be forgiven.
True love and respect REQUIRE SKILLS TO COMMUNICATE .....YOU CANNOT THROW A BID FOR LOVE WITHOUT A SINCERE AND HONEST APOLOGY. YOU BOTH NEED TO BE ABLE TO TALK IT OUT. GLOSSING OVER IT AND ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED IS ABSOLUTELY DISRESPECTFUL.
A person’s pride/ego should never be bigger than their desire for forgiveness. It’s cool to break the ice, but the issue needs to be addressed appropriately, imo. Be an adult because some people just checking to see if they can play in your face.
I totally understand this concept. And the same time, are we saying today, that people are just allergic to say "I'm sorry, I miss you" simple words, that don't cost you anything to say it's free🤷
@@catherinemccright1256 That's why I say love will open the door but then you have to discuss, meaning Love first, conversation second. We are in agreement.
This Man seems to be stronger and more forgiving than myself. I would have to address what had caused the distance in the first place. I can't move forward, without addressing what has passed, otherwise, I feel that the same issues will arise. 🤷🏾♀️
Right, but that’s not exactly what he means. He doesn’t mean to put up with toxic behavior. He is saying if a person is trying, and if it’s a person you can work with, accept the olive branch and make something positive out of it. If the person doesn’t deserve that, then don’t give them that.
True love is not toxic or conditional. It didn't matter that it had been years over the fact that his dad still was trying to connect. Toxic love would have been something like, if he told his dad he won't go/watch with him unless it was x y z. Toxic thinking offers the same damage as toxic behaviors.
@@MLy-z9c I was not saying his situation was toxic I was speaking from person experience, as my mother often reaches out but with toxic ways and then says I am the problem. Eg she will say GOD what's us to make up or that wants to be part of my life to help me fix parts of my life she thinks needs fixing.
Avoiding the problem that caused the separation is not healthy and will only lead to more mental grief… because the issue will Never resolve…. It’s narcissism
@@JohnEaton-r5m you don’t have to be a doctor to understand what a narcissist is, and although it is a mental disorder,. Most therapist and doctors will never recognize narcissism. They just give you a pill and tell you you’re depressed.. why are you so defensive? Did somebody tell you you were a narcissist Joe John blonde ?
@@JohnEaton-r5m You don’t have to be a doctor to realize your dealing with a narcissist, although it is a mental disorder, 99% of Doctor’s or therapist will disregard the term “narcissist” and just prescribe them and those stupid enough to deal with them, a antidepressant because most don’t know how to deal with these demons. You seem triggered, did someone call you a narcissist?
@@JohnEaton-r5m No, you don’t have to be a Doctor to know someone is a narcissist, that comes with experience and education like everything else. 99% of Doctors will disregard the idea of narcissism and just prescribe a antidepressant to their victims because they think therapy and pills will resolve the issue that they refuse to deal with, and they do that because of how demonic these people are! They do t want to face their childhood trauma, so they abuse others like small children when they don’t get what they want. Why are you so triggered? Did someone call you a narcissist?
@@JohnEaton-r5mnarcissism can be used to describe a pattern of behaviour and/or traits not only a diagnosis and one doesn’t need to be a Dr to spot the said pattern/behaviour especially these days where there’s so much information and awareness about the said behaviour. Not everyone is misusing the term although some are.
Confess your sins [your wrong doing] to one another [when you have issue towards one another]. Talk about it, don't sweep it under the rug, instead hash it out, own up to what was done wrong and forgive, it's healing for both parties, --- and move forward with love. 💛
Different people communicate differently. …but that still doesn’t change the fact that you have to address the underlying problem/s, otherwise, it’s just a waste of everyone’s time! Always remember to talk about the hard stuff. ♥️
Why do I read contradiction in your comment? If we're mature enough then talking about the difficult things like addressing such problems shouldn't be a water of anyone's time... Otherwise I misinterpreted everything you stated. And I apologize in advance if I did. Sincerely no one.
As someone else said, it's a bridge not a complete solution. It's the first step not the destination. Some people refuse to allow others to take the first step. They want you to go straight to the end but if you do, it's likely they won't believe you are sincere because you haven't given them a chance to show their sincerity so it can be a lose lose unless both people try
I'm reading lot of hate in the comments, but I actually really like this. A lot of problems in relationships stem from unhealed people creating issues like nitpicking and wanting the partner that THEY chose to change instead of looking within to heal themselves. It's easier to blame than take accountability. I'm not talking about cheating or abuse or any serious matter. I'm talking about sweating the small stuff and not letting it go because your ego got bruised. I used to think "I need to HEAR that apology." but why? Are those words supposed to soothe me? Usually when I was upset over something, it was pretty insignificant and I was a lot more unhealed so that was a ME problem. I'm definitely going to take this advice with me if life. It does not mean I am letting someone "gaslight" me or I am being a "doormat". I'm great at asserting my boundaries. What it means is that life is too short to stay away from people we love for long periods of time and if they have a hard time communicating how sorry they are, give them grace and roll with it. ❤
It’s not about just you taking accountability because you were hurt too and it’s not about not feeling like you need an apology it’s about change meaning both parties need to confront the things that kept them so distant. Sure his dad reached out but I’m a way to emotionally distant himself from actually Saying Hey Son o knows it’s been awhile and I feel like it’s time to talk etc Then You Can Say How About Them Lakers. I grew up with a abusive borderline Narcissistic parent and she never APOLOGIZED for hurting me she would do what this Mans dad did. Sweep it under the rug, avoid conversation, buy me this or do that but never actually addressing how horrible and f up our relationship actually was. Until one day I had enough and that’s when she finally saw how wounded I was and every since we’ve been better at communicating our feelings.
This is true when its healthy and not an all-around way to communicate....... but it can border on toxic communication if someone is always avoiding discussing what is needed to grow and heal.
I had a friend that would try to do this after not talking for a while because of a disagreement that never gets talked about or resolved. It could be months or a year or years of not talking. I don't like brushing issues off because when will they ever get solved?!
@@Tina-ng9up you mean they tried to act like nothing ever happened and keep coming back in my life?! That'd be like a dude cheating on you and you kept taking him back everytime he cheated.
The question is whether you can love someone in spite of it never being “ solved”. I’m 55 and I can tell you that “everyone works out of their own bag” In this case that means that our entire lives we’re working to know and fully understand our own selves. What makes you assume that your loved ones will ever understand you or the relationship between you two. There’s only a problem if you tell yourself that there’s a problem.
Amen. We have to learn that not everyone speaks love explicitly, they have their own way of expressing it, and we have the opportunity to accept or reject it through engagement.
Those looking for deep healing work…sometimes we need to weigh whether we want to be right or whether we want peace. Confrontation and hashing things out can sometimes just drudge up old hurt without any closure or resolution. Sometimes the best place to work things out is on your own with a therapist. I say “sometimes” bc this isn’t always applicable.
If someone is not willing to be humble enough to be direct, transparent and address the real issue, they don’t deserve U2 to do magical & emotional mental gymnastics for them
@@junesimba Thank you 🙏🏾!!!! Your statement is everything. I lived through that and was made to feel like the bad person in the situation when I didn’t want to do the emotional gymnastics while both of my manipulative parents were trying to play in my face. Nope.
Is very important to pay attention to this, because lots of people will never directly say they're sorry and that's ok, but they have their own way to say it
Its not OK. Its not OK to be so weak and lacking in humility and self reflection that you cannot apologise when you're wrong , cruel etc. Its not OK. It's very poor.
This is beautiful!! What a great example of forgiveness. What a great shift in thinking and opening a door to rebuilding in humility. There is HOPE. Not all is lost. To love again is POSSIBLE!❤❤❤
People need to stand in authenticity and speak on things, abs don’t create assumptions on feelings. The couple that communicate authentically stay together.
Sometimes, you don't have to rehash. This man makes a valid point. Meet people where they are at. Some people aren't affectionate, some people cannot say sorry, some people use affirmations, some people use food or money, meet them where they are at. Sorry is not the only way to express forgiveness and "I love you" is not the only way to express love. Forgiveness is one of your most powerful tools, because it's not for the other person, it's for you to release your heart and move on.
It is okay to meet them where they are at initially, but if you are the one always meeting them, your needs are not being met, and when both partner’s needs are not met, there is no relationship.
It's honestly not hard to spit the words out I love you or im sorry. Their needs of hearing it isn't being met and by the people they need to hear it from. Leave them alone.
Really enjoyed this. Make sure it’s not a bid to avoid accountability and to continue misuse, neglect or abuse. There’s a short window of opportunity once it’s given but close it quickly if need be
couples who work - fix a problem together when it shows up - they don't search for who's fault it is and fighting about it - they solve the issue with respect
This is true.. People communicate in various ways. We interpret love differently, so the same would apply to an apology. Reaching out is the starting point & as long as the initial issue was resolved, both can move forward ❤
Some people just have different family dynamics than others. I can relate to this type of reconciliation or ‘bid for love’. Just cuz it doesn’t work for everyone, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. He has enough forgiveness in his heart to forgive his Dad, and it doesn’t mean they aren’t able to address the elephant in the room. But it does take one step at a time, and they’re both being vulnerable and open. Sometimes people are willing to let the past be the past and try to work towards a better future. Holding on to resentment doesn’t free you.
In this video, he's not saying to never address the issue, I think he just means making that initial connection to begin conversations, plus what's the use of an apology if you're not ready to forgive? I was the same way with my dad but there was no point expecting an apology if I was still gonna hate him afterwards
Curious to know how you feel about people that ghost you and then spin back with a ‘hey big head’ text pretending that nothing happened (just an example). These people are not oblivious. There is a baseline level of communication that should be understood by adults. If you’re wrong, say it and ask for forgiveness. This beating around the bush sounds like somebody is playing in your face. Ion like it. 😩😂🫣
@@xoxo-vp7ww I’m speaking on a level of someone that loves you, ppl that ghost you and have no intentions on making it right are a different story. Some of them fools will come back BUT it’s solely up to you to have discernment so you can’t protect yourself.
Bless you for this❤ so true … Its about forgiveness and love . Everyone is angry not to accept. Abuses but to build on the moment and see the reach out for what it is love.
In some ways, the sports conversation is a gateway to "son I love you, daddy I love you and miss you" Accept all the love that comes to you. This is beautiful. ❤
To all who stated that, "The issue must be addressed." He is not saying that the issue never has to be addressed. He is saying that the connection must be made first, and then when both parties are in a better head space (emotionally), the issue can be resolved without blame. Love is the key.🙏🏽❤️
That’s when discernment comes in. Every single situation is different. But leading with empathy, wile still while having boundaries, is normally the right play in my book.
After you restore a connection. No one is going to listen if they feel like you don’t even care about them. Also your objective in addressing it is important. Let’s use this example and say you haven’t talked for years. Instead of addressing in an accusatory way saying “You left me and haven’t called for years wtf! 😡” You can address it in a forward looking manner. “Hey man really enjoy talking with you, it hurts when we go a long time without this. Can we make a commitment to try and stay more connected going forward?” That’s a true olive branch over accusations and dwelling on the past people can’t change even if they wanted to. Not to mention that is FAR more likely to evoke a heartfelt apology than any accusations that will just make people defensive.
@Noadvantage246 I get what you're saying but honestly idc bout doing that. You should apologize. Why should I throw you an olive branch?? Why can't I say you hurt me and be humble enough to say truly I'm sorry. Why is it on the hurt person to show empathy all the darn time??? I'm not being disrespectful ok. I'm just releasing the emotions so I can gain understanding and clarity.
I never knew what these little things wer called..... Bids for love... these are the fucken best. They save the day when you love and care for someone but your stubborn or just find certain words difficult .
Actually "I'm sorry" is code for I'm sorry. The secret to long lasting healthy relationships isn't sweeping shit under the rug, it's accountability and communication.
WOW… I never thought of it like that... Hmm, yea I receive this. Life’s to short, I’ve got to meet him/them where they are. I always make it about me but sometimes, many times it’s not. I receive this. ❤️
That made me cry. It's real love and power to choose love. As someone said, real power is when you know you can do something but don't do it. Preston Smiles teachings and philosophy for life 🙌🏽 Of course we wanna have THE conversation but humility creates more life, peace and abundance. Kuddos to you Preston. It must have felt so good 💥🙏🏾
Sometimes we must speak with our hearts rather with our tongues. I don’t need a “ please forgive me” if I can see it in your eyes … words are superficial…
Sometimes it’s just a touch on the shoulder to calm the emotions down enough to get thru… I’ve realized with my child that if it has to be fixed “right now” maybe it doesn’t turn out the best way - take a few mins to calm, think and respond not react. ❤
I agree with him, too often the focus is on the offense rather than acknowledging that an individual is attempting to bridge a gap in the best way they know how. It takes a lot of humility and courage to contact someone when there hasn’t been any communication for extended period. Accepting the bid for love can create the opportunity for healing and further dialogue if needed.
Omg this just hit my heart I never thought about it this way … I’m so quick to say something or get to the real conversation… thank you for this I needed to see it from this perspective.
Absolutely so true... He was reaching out to you❤❤❤ you have to work past or through it together because if you exit every time there is a difficulty or disagreement.... You would never stay with anybody and we all want our loved ones to stay by us in the rough times... The people that can stay during the rough times are the ones that really count... It's easy to stay when it's good but love goes beyond just the good times❤❤❤🤍🤍🤍💫🌟 I'm a big forgiver... Because all that means to me is that we get to go right back to the good stuff🥰 ❤️🔥🤗🩷🪽✨
Profound, thank you. Yes there needs to be accountability and addressing of real issues, however if this bid for love is rejected, the person draws further away and so nothing can be addressed anyways. I think also responding to people’s bids for love represents so much kindness and also awareness of where people are, people may not be ready or even understand the pain they have caused, but this may be all they can do now until they get there, so even though you maybe require more, it’s acknowledging that they made a start. Love this video thank you !!!!
Absolutely! I totally agree and it’s important to try and meet someone where they are at that point in time. However, you still have to have a deep felt conversation about what caused the rift in the first place and how you can resolve those issues in your relationship going forward. Otherwise, it will just keep coming up and before you know it you both will find yourselves in these destructive cycles of making up and then being estranged which is extremely toxic and unhealthy for both of you. By not clearing the air, being open minded, willing to understand each other’s needs, and putting up firm boundaries your relationship will eventually fail leaving you both angry, bitter, and unable to reconcile. When that happens the deep seated issues that should have been addressed early on just create resentment where both parties find it easier to just go no contact at all. It’s imperative to resolve issues when they arise as quickly as possible so that you don’t lose a loving and valued relationship.🙏🏻❤️
WOW!! This is GOLD and so true❤ People should stop expecting some certain things like the word 'sorry' and instead recognise it in actions and bid for love.
My husband & I have been through hell & back in the 25 years that we've been married. We went from being on the streets of Kensington Philly shooting heroin for 12 long years. To living in a stable apartment with 2 beautiful sons & we lost his mom in 2021! We've been happy & deeply in love & when we fight either I crack a joke or he will & then the fight is over!! He has my heart forever & vice versa. True love is Always worth fighting for!!
Love love love this wow it’s a deeper thinking but we all need to transcend deeper to full openness and taken account of each others concerns, but this allows no one to keep a door closed it opens a path; if willing, and aids healing self and another through forgiveness if accepted, and this should then lead to greater Mending. I get it
Nah, we’re not going to act like whatever happened didn’t happen. I’m looking for a sincere and specific apology, then let me decide what we going to do. Stay Focused!
This may start the conversation, but it needs to be acknowledged in truth.
But that's not the point the point is you have to start somewhere. And I wish people understood that because it's easy to hold a grudge and say oh you haven't spoken to me. Instead of letting it start from somewhere❤❤❤❤❤
WELL SAID
@@mjones4458🎯🎯🎯🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You're right.
It may start it...but if your dealing with a manipulating narcissist 😮 beware !!!!!
Enabling more unaccountability is still not helping. Saying I was wrong, please forgive me, or I'm sorry and honestly meaning it, is the beginning of healing relationships
I 💯 percent agree agreed with you . Then we can move on . We all. Walk with a different light I walk with god only . For me you will have to ask forgiveness sincerely, I will know if you are being sincere then we can move on. ❤ only god can judge me and forgive me for all my sins amen
You have to start somewhere
Exactly !!!😮😮😬
Ho’oponopono
Right that's being an adult. Children are better at accountability nowadays.
You still gotta talk about that elephant in the room.
Exactly, but the surface level stuff is just to make the initial connection, but it shouldn't be the only connection.
Do you? I don't always find that to be true. It depends. Most things aren't actually all that serious. Most things don't matter enough that it's necessary that someone else needs to know you're right. Let people be wrong.. it almost never matters. Things get serious though when you speak angry words. If anyone would care to get advice, I'd tell everyone to go to sleep angry... you'll find that most of the time when you wake... your anger will have passed and the topic you though you were pissed off about really isn't as serious as you were feeling. If it was... then bring it up when you're level to work it out which means having a solution in hand. If it wasn't... and your anger was uncalled for and you made the mistake of putting out aggressive energy... apologize and tell em you shouldn't have flown off the handle. If you watch dysfunctional relationships closely... like your parents... you'll notice they train each-other to piss one another off even without a good reason.
Maybe maybe not sometime certain things we just gotta let it go!
@@leahv.2537thats the whole point of this video. Some people, maybe most people that never reconnect need so badly for the other party to overly explain themselves that they never will reach the point of reconnecting. You don't need an apology in those exact words.
💯 at some time.
Bid for love sounds like a person who ain’t ready to be held accountable and I don’t like that, but I hear you
Same thing I say. That's a cop out and sounds like enabling another person who is not emotionally mature enough to apologize or get to the root of the issue.
Now the bid for love is a start to the conversation, but in a few minutes we need to discuss the issue.
I agree. If all of that can be said, so can an apology. Two simple words to start the conversation. 🤷🏽♀️
Sometimes you have to meet people at their level. I almost passed away last year from COVID-19/pneumonia and it was super scary because I was so young. Within a matter of days I had lost my ability to walk, talk, feed and pretty take care of myself. I’m fine now and was dubbed the ICU’s “miracle patient” that week because several others weren’t so lucky. I’ll never forget that time because many of the people surrounding my bedside during that time were family members who I hadn’t spoken to in months/years. When life starts life-ing, you quickly prioritize those who matter most and the bs falls by the wayside. Not speaking doesn’t include toxicity or compromised emotional safety all the time. We all have to learn to forgive our families and give people room/time to grow. 🙋🏾♂️ My $.02
Narcissists bid for love all the time so it’s more to it than that
I dnt know everyone gets on social media and think they are counselors
Also, people will treat you bad and disrespect you, then disappear and come back later and talk to you like nothing ever happened.
Be aware of those!
Agreed. It's lack of communication and lacks emotional intelligence.
So this will keep happening.
This is what manipulative people would thrive on. "Bidding" without resolutions, explanations or apologies.
And-- let’s not forget about the changes in the relationship so that the “bids” don’t happen again. Being manipulative or treating me like crap and I catch it and call it out (and the gaslight continues). Isn’t this a form of gaslighting? IDK-- but it’s not good. Naw, broham-- you can throw that in the trash. That should never be normalized in a relationship.
So true, I'm not talking to half my siblings because they love to disrespect me, lie on me and say shhh then be like "hey Kim" I'm not standing for it. Pretend like they never done anything and do the same thing again
Exactly 💯
Challenges in relationships are a normal part of life, but there’s always a path forward. My marriage encountered major difficulties, but with proper guidance, my wife and I managed to resolve our issues and deepen our connection. If you’re willing to put in the work and collaborate, solutions are always within reach. Keep hope alive; there are answers out there..
I’m facing serious problems in my relationship and can’t stand the thought of losing her. I love and miss my partner greatly and am willing to do whatever it takes to have her back. Any advice or guidance you can provide would be deeply appreciated.
Saying goodbye to someone you cherish is consistently difficult, yet in my case, I received support from a spiritual advisor who kept my marriage intact. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'll promptly look her up online. Thank you. I'm optimistic that following this path will bring about positive outcomes for me too; I long for her deeply.
Yes. You definitely should
After the bid for love conversation there needs to be a heartfelt honest conversation as well. Sweeping things under the rug and pretending like there’s no issue is problematic. Otherwise there’s no true resolve.
Exactly!!!!
I concur
Right and he just showed how unresolved trauma was able to run rampant in the black community for years going unchecked . Therapy and God are so needed to heal us in totality!!
He is talking about the initial step, which is the bid. Whatever each party decides moving forward is their business. But the bid opens the door for the next steps to be those conversations that may be hard to have. The bid isn't about sweeping everything under the rug, it is about being open to the other person and vice-versa.
@@lovely.nellie Yes! But I think the bid is a reasonable entry point in SOME situations where the challenge wasn’t too extreme. The situation he used felt a little extreme and I actually don’t think a “bid” in that situation is a good move. But I do agree with you on that it’s a start and it shouldn’t end there.
That’s like sweeping the problem under the rug and continuing life like nothing happened!! This is the very reason why so many have to go to therapy, because they never talked about their issues and the consequences of actions!! SMH
Exactly. Awful to promote that kind of thing. Talk about reaching someone how to treat you! Be prepared for a lifetime of mistreatment. No thanks.
I don’t know though. If you realize this person doesn’t have the capacity for certain things then they should be put in a category & you move accordingly with your boundaries.. not sweeping under the rug nor holding grudges but to the degree of I know what typa person you are & you know the typa person I am..
moreover I see you have not accepted what I have so therefore we’re not able to carry on a productive conversation on certain topics. * type stuff *
Nnnnnaw….imma need that apology up out cha with heaping helping of changed behavior. Thanks 😊
Facts❤
Right!
Exactly. My father isn't in my life but I tried for over a decade to have a relationship with him the problem is, he never apologized. We never healed. He never thought he was wrong and he was to stubborn to understand my side of things. I tried. But unless those difficult conversations are had, and people apologize, not many people can heal. It becomes this toxic relationship where you mask the pain and problems.
Grudge
‼️‼️‼️
I can receive this. It took me getting older to understand how hard communication can be for some people. The fact that they try is the first step and you build on that. Don’t try and make it about you make it about the relationship. Everyone’s not capable and/or knowledgeable enough to talk like it came out a psychology textbook.
I think others missed "and build on it". Thank You
Does anyone know where I can see the entire video?
@@ntmediaproductions8379go out of the shorts and go to his podcast playlist... and find a thumbnail with all of them on it
Even though, you still have to learn to say sorry, or apologize, it ain't gonna kill you to admit you're wrong, it shows your genuine remorse and sincerity of your heart, if it truly comes from your heart.
Because ordinarily, when you act like nothing happened you are ignoring that you were ever wrong or almost like you never see yourself as wrong.
saying sorry to someone you've hurt, offended or wronged definitely may seem awkward, weird to you, and unlike you even most likely difficult, but , if you're sincere and genuine, saying sorry when you're wrong can do a lot of wonders, maybe not always in the side of the offended ( if they still hold a grudge, I won't judge them ) but if from the depths of your heart you apologize, you'll feel the burden lifted , that if you sincerely have remorse.
Even God himself acts in this same way, He knows our sins and faults but in most scripture He always emphasize that only if we acknowledge our sins and ASK FOR MERCY AND FORGIVENESS then will he forgive, heal us and etc.
God bless .
Don't ever think a narcissists bid for love is real...run.
Exactly I rather be single and at peace than bidding for love tf
Especially a parent who does the same cycle and never addresses anything!!!!
He said thrive not survive. With a narcissist you would be trying to survive everyday. With a healthy relationship you would be thriving. He’s referring to healthy connections which may have not ended so badly. Or even toxic .
Time shorter than your bitterness...if your dad died in that state n you didn't feel anything. Would that mean you at that moment officially got passed all the grief and wonder what could have been? How you handle that reflects on YOU not them. No pleas being copped but a narcissist is made
@@redbone8844😩
I AGREE WITH THIS. Not everyone has the skill set to articulate an apology. Taking the 'bid for love' should be accepted , if we can put aside our offense temporarily so that after the bid for love is accepted, there is an open door for deeper conversation down the road. Love this!
“open the door for deeper conversation” that part! Love this comment, it’s so true
Then you’re in denial and delusional. It’s not about offense. It’s about addressing the issue to find the solution. And just because they’re family doesn’t mean should be forgiven.
True love and respect REQUIRE SKILLS TO COMMUNICATE .....YOU CANNOT THROW A BID FOR LOVE WITHOUT A SINCERE AND HONEST APOLOGY. YOU BOTH NEED TO BE ABLE TO TALK IT OUT. GLOSSING OVER IT AND ACTING LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED IS ABSOLUTELY DISRESPECTFUL.
@@thejojojo1111 not just disrespectful but dishonest.
Exactly people trippin in this comment section fr! Be the bigger person if they ain’t ready just take what they give you and be humble ❤️
A person’s pride/ego should never be bigger than their desire for forgiveness. It’s cool to break the ice, but the issue needs to be addressed appropriately, imo. Be an adult because some people just checking to see if they can play in your face.
Yup.
🎯
Love this comment
Breaking the ice is okay, but the situation still should be addressed 100%
I totally understand this concept. And the same time, are we saying today, that people are just allergic to say "I'm sorry, I miss you" simple words, that don't cost you anything to say it's free🤷
Yes, but you can't leave it there. It will open the door but then you have to discuss the issues and work through them to get to the other side.
obviously but sometimes we need to pause and show our support and love of the partner, before later taking up the conversation
@@catherinemccright1256 That's why I say love will open the door but then you have to discuss, meaning Love first, conversation second. We are in agreement.
This Man seems to be stronger and more forgiving than myself. I would have to address what had caused the distance in the first place. I can't move forward, without addressing what has passed, otherwise, I feel that the same issues will arise. 🤷🏾♀️
True. You cannot bury a thing unless it's dead.
Forget all that. Real adults speak like real adults. It's not wrong to demand common decency and respect
💯
Agree, but those who don't know how or never learned call and ask about the Lakers
Conversation is Lack in Most Relationships. 💯💯💯
Agree, but is the most important part to have.
@@frenchweewee4444 Exactly
All fine except for when someone bid for love is toxic AF and just gas lights the other person
Right, but that’s not exactly what he means. He doesn’t mean to put up with toxic behavior. He is saying if a person is trying, and if it’s a person you can work with, accept the olive branch and make something positive out of it. If the person doesn’t deserve that, then don’t give them that.
Exactly
True love is not toxic or conditional. It didn't matter that it had been years over the fact that his dad still was trying to connect. Toxic love would have been something like, if he told his dad he won't go/watch with him unless it was x y z. Toxic thinking offers the same damage as toxic behaviors.
@@MLy-z9c I was not saying his situation was toxic I was speaking from person experience, as my mother often reaches out but with toxic ways and then says I am the problem. Eg she will say GOD what's us to make up or that wants to be part of my life to help me fix parts of my life she thinks needs fixing.
That's not a bid for love.
I hear you my Brother loud and clear, so powerful...Because that Bids for Love is actually an opening for communication.I love it.
Avoiding the problem that caused the separation is not healthy and will only lead to more mental grief… because the issue will
Never resolve…. It’s narcissism
Why do you think narcissism? That is a clinical diagnosis . Are you a doctor?
@@JohnEaton-r5m you don’t have to be a doctor to understand what a narcissist is, and although it is a mental disorder,. Most therapist and doctors will never recognize narcissism. They just give you a pill and tell you you’re depressed.. why are you so defensive? Did somebody tell you you were a narcissist Joe John blonde ?
@@JohnEaton-r5m You don’t have to be a doctor to realize your dealing with a narcissist, although it is a mental disorder, 99% of Doctor’s or therapist will disregard the term “narcissist” and just prescribe them and those stupid enough to deal with them, a antidepressant because most don’t know how to deal with these demons. You seem triggered, did someone call you a narcissist?
@@JohnEaton-r5m No, you don’t have to be a Doctor to know someone is a narcissist, that comes with experience and education like everything else. 99% of Doctors will disregard the idea of narcissism and just prescribe a antidepressant to their victims because they think therapy and pills will resolve the issue that they refuse to deal with, and they do that because of how demonic these people are! They do t want to face their childhood trauma, so they abuse others like small children when they don’t get what they want. Why are you so triggered? Did someone call you a narcissist?
@@JohnEaton-r5mnarcissism can be used to describe a pattern of behaviour and/or traits not only a diagnosis and one doesn’t need to be a Dr to spot the said pattern/behaviour especially these days where there’s so much information and awareness about the said behaviour. Not everyone is misusing the term although some are.
Confess your sins [your wrong doing] to one another [when you have issue towards one another]. Talk about it, don't sweep it under the rug, instead hash it out, own up to what was done wrong and forgive, it's healing for both parties, --- and move forward with love. 💛
Different people communicate differently.
…but that still doesn’t change the fact that you have to address the underlying problem/s, otherwise, it’s just a waste of everyone’s time!
Always remember to talk about the hard stuff.
♥️
Why do I read contradiction in your comment?
If we're mature enough then talking about the difficult things like addressing such problems shouldn't be a water of anyone's time... Otherwise I misinterpreted everything you stated. And I apologize in advance if I did.
Sincerely no one.
"Great Inspiration"!!This Does Work!!
As someone else said, it's a bridge not a complete solution. It's the first step not the destination. Some people refuse to allow others to take the first step. They want you to go straight to the end but if you do, it's likely they won't believe you are sincere because you haven't given them a chance to show their sincerity so it can be a lose lose unless both people try
I'm reading lot of hate in the comments, but I actually really like this. A lot of problems in relationships stem from unhealed people creating issues like nitpicking and wanting the partner that THEY chose to change instead of looking within to heal themselves. It's easier to blame than take accountability. I'm not talking about cheating or abuse or any serious matter. I'm talking about sweating the small stuff and not letting it go because your ego got bruised. I used to think "I need to HEAR that apology." but why? Are those words supposed to soothe me? Usually when I was upset over something, it was pretty insignificant and I was a lot more unhealed so that was a ME problem.
I'm definitely going to take this advice with me if life. It does not mean I am letting someone "gaslight" me or I am being a "doormat". I'm great at asserting my boundaries. What it means is that life is too short to stay away from people we love for long periods of time and if they have a hard time communicating how sorry they are, give them grace and roll with it. ❤
It’s not about just you taking accountability because you were hurt too and it’s not about not feeling like you need an apology it’s about change meaning both parties need to confront the things that kept them so distant. Sure his dad reached out but I’m a way to emotionally distant himself from actually Saying Hey Son o knows it’s been awhile and I feel like it’s time to talk etc Then You Can Say How About Them Lakers. I grew up with a abusive borderline Narcissistic parent and she never APOLOGIZED for hurting me she would do what this Mans dad did. Sweep it under the rug, avoid conversation, buy me this or do that but never actually addressing how horrible and f up our relationship actually was. Until one day I had enough and that’s when she finally saw how wounded I was and every since we’ve been better at communicating our feelings.
This is true when its healthy and not an all-around way to communicate....... but it can border on toxic communication if someone is always avoiding discussing what is needed to grow and heal.
It's terrible that men don't acknowledge that they also have emotions.
Society isn't often kind to those who do
This has to be the saddest thing I’ve heard in a while 😢 those with open ears caught it.
Super sad and ridiculous
The most ridiculous thing actually.
Deep Message!!!❤❤❤
I had a friend that would try to do this after not talking for a while because of a disagreement that never gets talked about or resolved. It could be months or a year or years of not talking. I don't like brushing issues off because when will they ever get solved?!
So you deliberately chose to cancel that person from your life even when they tried to recuperate with you
@@Tina-ng9up you mean they tried to act like nothing ever happened and keep coming back in my life?! That'd be like a dude cheating on you and you kept taking him back everytime he cheated.
I agree with you 100%. That ain’t your friend. Time to say goodbye.
The question is whether you can love someone in spite of it never being “ solved”. I’m 55 and I can tell you that “everyone works out of their own bag” In this case that means that our entire lives we’re working to know and fully understand our own selves. What makes you assume that your loved ones will ever understand you or the relationship between you two. There’s only a problem if you tell yourself that there’s a problem.
@@DeshaunExitRealty
So you'll accept a cheating spouse?
My husbands way of saying I'm sorry without saying I'm sorry! Thak GOD! A didn't knew that, now I know❤❤❤❤
Very true...yes it was a bid for love so the door was opened for communication...eventually you will talk about the real issues hopefully ❤
Amen. We have to learn that not everyone speaks love explicitly, they have their own way of expressing it, and we have the opportunity to accept or reject it through engagement.
Those looking for deep healing work…sometimes we need to weigh whether we want to be right or whether we want peace. Confrontation and hashing things out can sometimes just drudge up old hurt without any closure or resolution. Sometimes the best place to work things out is on your own with a therapist. I say “sometimes” bc this isn’t always applicable.
If someone is not willing to be humble enough to be direct, transparent and address the real issue, they don’t deserve U2 to do magical & emotional mental gymnastics for them
@@junesimba Thank you 🙏🏾!!!! Your statement is everything. I lived through that and was made to feel like the bad person in the situation when I didn’t want to do the emotional gymnastics while both of my manipulative parents were trying to play in my face. Nope.
Amen!!!!
🎯
I Agree❤
Is very important to pay attention to this, because lots of people will never directly say they're sorry and that's ok, but they have their own way to say it
Its not OK. Its not OK to be so weak and lacking in humility and self reflection that you cannot apologise when you're wrong , cruel etc.
Its not OK. It's very poor.
@@gillymac9363 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
This is beautiful!! What a great example of forgiveness. What a great shift in thinking and opening a door to rebuilding in humility. There is HOPE. Not all is lost. To love again is POSSIBLE!❤❤❤
People need to stand in authenticity and speak on things, abs don’t create assumptions on feelings. The couple that communicate authentically stay together.
That’s powerful, most of us fail seized the opportunity.😢
Failed opportunity for someone to play in your face? We are adults….communicate properly
@@FaithandNovaExactly.
Amen Blessings Thank You 🛐
Sometimes, you don't have to rehash. This man makes a valid point. Meet people where they are at. Some people aren't affectionate, some people cannot say sorry, some people use affirmations, some people use food or money, meet them where they are at. Sorry is not the only way to express forgiveness and "I love you" is not the only way to express love. Forgiveness is one of your most powerful tools, because it's not for the other person, it's for you to release your heart and move on.
I agree.
It is okay to meet them where they are at initially, but if you are the one always meeting them, your needs are not being met, and when both partner’s needs are not met, there is no relationship.
💯@@Thespiritleads777
Seeeeee…that’s the point. People REFUSE to say it. You listed 1000 things people do to avoid it. Ego is something else.
It's honestly not hard to spit the words out I love you or im sorry. Their needs of hearing it isn't being met and by the people they need to hear it from. Leave them alone.
Really enjoyed this. Make sure it’s not a bid to avoid accountability and to continue misuse, neglect or abuse. There’s a short window of opportunity once it’s given but close it quickly if need be
couples who work - fix a problem together when it shows up - they don't search for who's fault it is and fighting about it - they solve the issue with respect
Yes, Confirmation for what a relationship should be. Yes, please. i want that too. Thank you my God, Glory, Praise and Honor to you. ❤❤❤💖💡✌️
Awww...the anecdote about your dad is so touching 🙏🏽❤️😇
As the black sheep, I just love this! I’ve been going thru a similar situation. STRIVE TO HEAL AND THRIVE this is so important!
Man. The Internet is such a negative place. Every time i start to forget. Comment sections rush to remind me
Comment section reminds you that ignorance is bliss I guess 😂
Beautiful, thank you, I needed this right at this very moment.😇God Is Good & Faithful💖🙏.♐️🐻
Forgiveness. I've you follow Christ you'll see his number 1 trait is forgiveness. No matter what you've done his door is always open.
❤️🙏🏾
Amen
He poked Mary Magdalene. Champion.
Well you ask for forgiveness from the lord. You don’t expect him to forgive you.
You're a liar @@nelsonhibbert5267
Yes. Awareness is so helpful. 🙏🏽. Thank you
This is true.. People communicate in various ways. We interpret love differently, so the same would apply to an apology. Reaching out is the starting point & as long as the initial issue was resolved, both can move forward ❤
Some people just have different family dynamics than others. I can relate to this type of reconciliation or ‘bid for love’. Just cuz it doesn’t work for everyone, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. He has enough forgiveness in his heart to forgive his Dad, and it doesn’t mean they aren’t able to address the elephant in the room. But it does take one step at a time, and they’re both being vulnerable and open. Sometimes people are willing to let the past be the past and try to work towards a better future. Holding on to resentment doesn’t free you.
In this video, he's not saying to never address the issue, I think he just means making that initial connection to begin conversations, plus what's the use of an apology if you're not ready to forgive? I was the same way with my dad but there was no point expecting an apology if I was still gonna hate him afterwards
Yesssss I understand this!!! Keep teaching n speaking cause I'm listening 🎧! Thank you ❤
Yes, that's good. It's a starting point from which you build.
Amen 🙌 Amen 🙌 Amen 🙌
Sending prayers 🙏 love 💝 and light 🕯️ from Scotland 🏴💌 xxxXxxx
God bless you.... God bless you all ✨❤️🔥🙏❤️🔥✨
I always felt this way, ppl communicate on different levels. He’s absolutely right🙏🏾
Curious to know how you feel about people that ghost you and then spin back with a ‘hey big head’ text pretending that nothing happened (just an example). These people are not oblivious. There is a baseline level of communication that should be understood by adults. If you’re wrong, say it and ask for forgiveness. This beating around the bush sounds like somebody is playing in your face. Ion like it. 😩😂🫣
@@xoxo-vp7wwhe's talking about couples or a relationship with family not someone ghosting you there's a difference
@@xoxo-vp7ww I’m speaking on a level of someone that loves you, ppl that ghost you and have no intentions on making it right are a different story. Some of them fools will come back BUT it’s solely up to you to have discernment so you can’t protect yourself.
Bless you for this❤ so true … Its about forgiveness and love . Everyone is angry not to accept. Abuses but to build on the moment and see the reach out for what it is love.
He is wrong, that is just toxic behavior.
In some ways, the sports conversation is a gateway to "son I love you, daddy I love you and miss you" Accept all the love that comes to you. This is beautiful. ❤
Deep!! 🔥
🙏🏽💪🏽💯
Agreed… conversation and prayer should still be held to get issues out the way and come to a resolve!! So it’s not repeated!
To all who stated that, "The issue must be addressed." He is not saying that the issue never has to be addressed. He is saying that the connection must be made first, and then when both parties are in a better head space (emotionally), the issue can be resolved without blame. Love is the key.🙏🏽❤️
But at what point do you address the real issues at hand?
That part.
Yessss
That’s when discernment comes in. Every single situation is different. But leading with empathy, wile still while having boundaries, is normally the right play in my book.
After you restore a connection. No one is going to listen if they feel like you don’t even care about them.
Also your objective in addressing it is important. Let’s use this example and say you haven’t talked for years. Instead of addressing in an accusatory way saying “You left me and haven’t called for years wtf! 😡”
You can address it in a forward looking manner. “Hey man really enjoy talking with you, it hurts when we go a long time without this. Can we make a commitment to try and stay more connected going forward?”
That’s a true olive branch over accusations and dwelling on the past people can’t change even if they wanted to. Not to mention that is FAR more likely to evoke a heartfelt apology than any accusations that will just make people defensive.
@Noadvantage246 I get what you're saying but honestly idc bout doing that. You should apologize. Why should I throw you an olive branch?? Why can't I say you hurt me and be humble enough to say truly I'm sorry. Why is it on the hurt person to show empathy all the darn time???
I'm not being disrespectful ok. I'm just releasing the emotions so I can gain understanding and clarity.
Wow! This is TRULY eye opening! From a feminine perspective, I wouldve never seen it this way❤️❤️👏🏽👏🏽
“Bids for Love”…
Yes yes🗣️👂🏼👁️🌟☯️🙌🏼
Thank you🙏🏼
Some people don't know how to approach the situation... This is a good way to break the ice
I never knew what these little things wer called..... Bids for love... these are the fucken best. They save the day when you love and care for someone but your stubborn or just find certain words difficult .
Well said 💯
Open your heart to recognize and receive sincere Bids for love 🕊️
Actually "I'm sorry" is code for I'm sorry. The secret to long lasting healthy relationships isn't sweeping shit under the rug, it's accountability and communication.
That was beautiful 💙
I miss my dad...a man I never knew. If you have a decent one, cherish him while you have him. You're not promised tomorrow.
You can have a Dad you see daily and still not know him tbh
Spot on. It takes a lot to make a way to restart.
❤ Facts! Everyone doesn't apologize the same, meet someone where they're at...
WOW… I never thought of it like that... Hmm, yea I receive this. Life’s to short, I’ve got to meet him/them where they are. I always make it about me but sometimes, many times it’s not. I receive this. ❤️
That made me cry. It's real love and power to choose love. As someone said, real power is when you know you can do something but don't do it.
Preston Smiles teachings and philosophy for life 🙌🏽
Of course we wanna have THE conversation but humility creates more life, peace and abundance. Kuddos to you Preston. It must have felt so good 💥🙏🏾
Made me cry. This is a message that we need to hear often!!
Sometimes we must speak with our hearts rather with our tongues. I don’t need a “ please forgive me” if I can see it in your eyes … words are superficial…
Amen!! My friend & I were just talking about bids for love the other day!!
He's 💯 correct. And you have to see and receive it.
Exactly this applies to many different relationships. It’s ego and pride that destroys.
Thank you for this! 🙏 so beautiful ❤
Sometimes it’s just a touch on the shoulder to calm the emotions down enough to get thru… I’ve realized with my child that if it has to be fixed “right now” maybe it doesn’t turn out the best way - take a few mins to calm, think and respond not react. ❤
I feel that sometimes you can just go forward from there ❤ I love it
I agree with him, too often the focus is on the offense rather than acknowledging that an individual is attempting to bridge a gap in the best way they know how. It takes a lot of humility and courage to contact someone when there hasn’t been any communication for extended period. Accepting the bid for love can create the opportunity for healing and further dialogue if needed.
100% This just happened to me twice from my son and one of my daughters and I threw returned the love. 😊
Omg this just hit my heart I never thought about it this way … I’m so quick to say something or get to the real conversation… thank you for this I needed to see it from this perspective.
Absolutely so true... He was reaching out to you❤❤❤ you have to work past or through it together because if you exit every time there is a difficulty or disagreement.... You would never stay with anybody and we all want our loved ones to stay by us in the rough times... The people that can stay during the rough times are the ones that really count... It's easy to stay when it's good but love goes beyond just the good times❤❤❤🤍🤍🤍💫🌟 I'm a big forgiver... Because all that means to me is that we get to go right back to the good stuff🥰
❤️🔥🤗🩷🪽✨
Profound, thank you. Yes there needs to be accountability and addressing of real issues, however if this bid for love is rejected, the person draws further away and so nothing can be addressed anyways. I think also responding to people’s bids for love represents so much kindness and also awareness of where people are, people may not be ready or even understand the pain they have caused, but this may be all they can do now until they get there, so even though you maybe require more, it’s acknowledging that they made a start. Love this video thank you !!!!
Speaking truth yaw. He is right. Life is too short. Make things right. Don’t need hate and strife.
Absolutely! I totally agree and it’s important to try and meet someone where they are at that point in time. However, you still have to have a deep felt conversation about what caused the rift in the first place and how you can resolve those issues in your relationship going forward. Otherwise, it will just keep coming up and before you know it you both will find yourselves in these destructive cycles of making up and then being estranged which is extremely toxic and unhealthy for both of you. By not clearing the air, being open minded, willing to understand each other’s needs, and putting up firm boundaries your relationship will eventually fail leaving you both angry, bitter, and unable to reconcile. When that happens the deep seated issues that should have been addressed early on just create resentment where both parties find it easier to just go no contact at all. It’s imperative to resolve issues when they arise as quickly as possible so that you don’t lose a loving and valued relationship.🙏🏻❤️
WOW!! This is GOLD and so true❤
People should stop expecting some certain things like the word 'sorry' and instead recognise it in actions and bid for love.
This is absolutly truth and a very good tool to understanding how and why to healing the relation or preparing one to be as a couple ❤
He's saying... That's a Start.. It ALL begins somewhere. Humility 1st❤❤❤
Speachless !✌️&❤
Ohhhhhh….❤ strength to understand unsaid is powerful
Amen..
Praying for families ❤Auntee Gema
Deep! And right in the feels! Thank you for this. Thank you for opening my mind up.,. Now for me to start taking the bid!
Loved that story ❤ you accepted your fathers olive branch. That could then lead to real conversations and connections. Thank you. 🎉
That was strong. You are right. Awesome job.
I can relate.
🥺🗣️THAT WAS SOO GOOOOD!
My husband & I have been through hell & back in the 25 years that we've been married. We went from being on the streets of Kensington Philly shooting heroin for 12 long years. To living in a stable apartment with 2 beautiful sons & we lost his mom in 2021! We've been happy & deeply in love & when we fight either I crack a joke or he will & then the fight is over!! He has my heart forever & vice versa. True love is Always worth fighting for!!
Love love love this wow it’s a deeper thinking but we all need to transcend deeper to full openness and taken account of each others concerns, but this allows no one to keep a door closed it opens a path; if willing, and aids healing self and another through forgiveness if accepted, and this should then lead to greater Mending. I get it
Nah, we’re not going to act like whatever happened didn’t happen. I’m looking for a sincere and specific apology, then let me decide what we going to do. Stay Focused!