The younger generations are done playing the abuse cycle game. Their parents are confused and angry because they didn’t have the courage to stand up and leave their own abusive parents. They see abuse as normal, just part of being family. A lot of times, the abuse the parents received was more visible - physical and verbal - but research is showing that “invisible” emotional and psychological abuse causes the exact same damage to the brain. So, Mom and Dad, go ahead denying your mistakes. Go ahead believing your childhood was worse than mine. Go ahead saying “We did our best.” Go ahead choosing a life that I can no longer participate in. I miss you, but I don’t miss your abuse.
@emmelinesprig489 Well said. I ended a relationship because when I met the mom, she was dreadful and controlling. I guess she could tell I wasn't into it, because at one point she 'jokingly' said "Well my mom tortured me, now it's my turn to torture you!" Um, nope. Not signing up for that one.
I'm not NC with my mother, but I cut communication to a bare minimum, and it's weird because I thought I'd miss her a lot, but I actually don't... I've thought about it, and it comes down to the fact that my mother never had an interest in me as a person. Not my tastes, not my opinions, not my feelings. In fact she actively hates everything I believe in or enjoy. So the relationship was very one sided, I was giving and not receiving anything in return. So now it's over there's nothing for me to miss
This is a true and real problem however, there are people who are exploiting all of this to alienate the younger generations from the older ones, which is why it is becoming more and more common. It's pushed all over social media, which is a literal brainwashing propaganda machine. This has been done with many societal issues which helps advance an agenda. So, a real issue which has been hijacked to help create a population which is easier to manipulate and control. Make no mistake, this woman is an absolute narcissist.
I had to cut ties with my parents (I'm a boomer, they were depression-era babies) because the staunch black and white thinking was so dogmatic. I had to do a lot of healing before I could go back, but I had to accept they wouldn't change, and that was OK.
I disagree. I think she wants the daughter to give her basic human consideration. Look up the videos of the daughter. It's pinkcuttlebug. There is major mental illness going on with the daughter.
@@brockreynolds870 Yeah, mental illnesses are circular explanations. If you disagree, I guess I gotta pull all my cultural anthropology and social psychology knowledge here, and talk about the history of the western mental health field. How Freud re-redacted all his first works to appease his colleages because he validated his patients' trauma responses and their abusive colleages didn't like that. Or talk about the first diagnoses like the one given to black slaves everytime they wanted freedom. Drapetomania. Or how homosexuality stopped being considered a mental illness solely because of activisim. Or maybe talk about the history of the DSM and the ICD. And alternatives to those like The Power Threat Meaning Framework or the Indicative Trauma Impact Manual. I can also talk about my decolonial psychology studies, and make references to iconic figures like Frantz Fanon or Paulo Freire. I can also talk about the neurodiversity paradigm or non-pathologizing approaches to mental health. If you want. But I'm gonna assume you don't. Idk, I cannot read minds; neither can you, so stop pretending to know for the sake of everybody's sanity here.
The smirk she has is called a narcissist's smirk. It's a way of showing dominance and control over someone, at least in their own head. Her eyes are also piercing to the viewer, not just because they're a nice color but she's literally glaring daggers into you while speaking. The audience is her daughter. That's who these videos are for. "Woe is me! Please go harass my daughter and make her come crawling back to me sobbing".
Saving your child from choking on a candy wrapper is what I would call the absolute bare minimum of being a parent. The child is eating a wrapper in the first place because the mother gave it to her child. And then the child was choking on the wrapper because the mother went off and did something else, thus neglecting her own child. Then she heard her choking, and ran back to save her. And she uses this as proof of being a good mother?
My mother tells equally clueless type stories/'evidence' of superior parenting. Things like, "My child fell out of bed and I saw her holding her arm and moving slowly so I packed her up and took her to the doctor. Turns out I was right and she had a broken collar bone!" **cue applause** I had a fracture and wonder if she remembers that for months afterwards she would poke it "Just to see how it's healing." with no concept that it caused me pain and it'd probably heal better if she stopped poking it...
Saving your toddler from what would otherwise carry dangerous or at least, upsetting outcomes…is simply being a parent to a toddler. 🤦🏽♀️ I used to “joke” how raising kids is a lot of “saving their lives” on the daily. It’s kind of the basis of the job, no?
One time my dad bragged to me that when I was a baby he really wanted to buy some weed but he had to spend it on me instead. And he honestly told me that story so I would know how much he cared and was a good dad. It did not elicit the reaction he had hoped. 😂
Yeah, my parents saved me from choking on a cough drop when I was little [I am scared of cough drops and hard candy to this day]. But it's funny how they never threw that back in my face to make me feel guilty. I think it was a horrible memory for them, as it is for me. This mom is sick.
Exactly. And in his economy they need their parents' money, house. One of them was talking about how her pregnant and homeless daughter still won't come back.(imagine thinking that a win). I asked her how bad the abuse was that even a pregnant and homeless woman is avoiding your help
Exactly... Plus she and her husband create a "private community" with a membership fee, some have said it's a $200 fee, I'm not sure about the cost, but they're victimizing others who have similar situations now as well. and this will make many of those problems even worse, because it will become like a cult...
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345Surely you say that in jest…MANY, MANY, MANY mothers mourn the loss of their children in one way or another without making blogs or videos about how painful it is. It’s okay to express yourself as a parent but not when it’s at the expense of the person you gave birth to. This is the worse video I’ve ever seen.
Spot on. The baseline expression looks like a smile, which is unnerving bc she smiles regardless of the context and topic being spoken about. But the SMIRK! The smirk and barely containable glee in tossing veiled insults and "I gotcha's" towards her daughter, (and people who hit too close to the truth in the comments). This mom has some inner work to do. She cannot run from it forever. And she's not hiding well at all.
This lady is a whoooole trip. When she said she buys herself a present on her daughter's birthday with her ever present creepy smile mask in the original video, it told me all i needed to know about her. It only got worse and worse as the videos went on. 😂 I am seeing a lot of psychologists/therapists using her video as a teaching tool about narcissism and narcissistic behavior/abuse lately so I'm glad it wasnt just me. Lol
I'm like 3 minutes in, I can already tell Mommy's a narcissist. I know that word gets thrown around a lot, but she has that death glare and the sneer, and she reminds me of my own mother. My hackles are standing up just watching the facial expressions.
Well said, Fae. Ah, yes! "The sneer" and the "death glare" ... and all of their garbage behavior. My skin was immediately crawling & I felt deeply uneasy. I have a life's experience of enduring a malignant narcissistic mother's abuse & this woman is a nightmare.
It’s perfectly okay to utilize the word “narcissist”. It’s not a diagnosis & it points to prominent behaviors one sees that more so fall under traits. And regardless of diagnosis of NPD or not, narcissistic traits are abusive in nature. We’ve got highly qualified individuals in the mental health industry letting us know that we do, indeed, have permission to use this term. JS. 💕
@@cj5848 If a child writes you a heartfelt letter describing her pain at your guilt-tripping and gaslighting and how it has effected her mental health I hardly think a one word, "Received" reply followed by a year of ignoring those issues isn't abuse or a very telling symptom of dysfunction. And then admitting the next communication was an attempt to rug sweep - I call it emotional abuse and so does anyone who knows what emotional abusers sound like and how they operate. And that's one example. Her inability to apologize because well, "that required far too much contrition" according to Lady Di. Unable to say sorry when you've wronged someone? So Lady Di acts like a perfect person and parent and you think that doesn't impact a flawed and learning small human being raised by her? It does - trust me. Oh and to be clear, these are only the abuses that you can see in Lady Di's well polished and best foot forward video. Anyone that overtly telling in their abuse in public is going to be better behind closed doors in your mind? LOL Nope. They save the worst of their offenses for private...
Why are you assuming she "abused" her daughter ? Diane comes off a bit self centered. But her daughter, who seems to have a legion of apologists and supporters, comes off as mean and skewed in a very bizarre way. The candles, the picture of her mom with the halo...very disturbing. Did she sell her daughter to getS.A.? Did she beat her daughter so badly she has brain damage? Did she abandon her daughter so she could go to Vegas and gamble? Or did she just not give her daughter that car she wanted? What do you mean by abuse????
It's just Narcissism. Her daughter ghosting her wounded her narcissism, and she is trying to hoover her in order to both punish her daughter and reestablish control over her, and she's doing it in a very public manner, which has the added benefit of giving her a large source of fuel to draw from. Classic NPD up and down.
The daughter did not ghost her. The daughter wrote her a detailed email, which was disregarded for a full year. Ghosting is when a person walks away without any explanation. Diane just doesn't like the explanation.
Thats nothing compared to the daughters video Daughter seems to have a whole cadre of vloggers at her command. And its funny. NOBODY wants to talk about ahat the horrible Godless thing this eoman did to deserve abandonment. What did she do?? Didnt let daughter go to school to study lesbian dance theory?? Didn't let her ' explore her sexuality ' at 13? Didnt let her dance half naked on Pride day?? Didnt seem happy when her daughter got pregnant by a gang member? Must have been something awful like that. What a horrible woman!!!!
@@cj5848 Won't somebody please think of poor Diane and her feelings! Diane is doing plenty of that so you don't need to enable and it would be helpful to actually think of Haley and her feelings on this. She's the one so hurt by the situation that she walked away. But that's not her pain showing, right? She's just horrible and bad like all estranged off-spring because that's a whole lot easier for abusers to swallow then looking in the mirror and owning your abysmal parenting.
This is a great video. That woman’s video popped up on my UA-cam and I have no idea why. I need a video like this to cleanse the pallet after watching her lack of accountability and self awareness.
She is making sure that her daughter will never be able to reconnect. She is adding to the years of abuse instead of trying to fix whatever wrong she did. I would never speak to my mother again if she started a whole channel like this. If we did reconnect, would she give up the channel? Would she continue her victim campaign? Now she's got an audience, that's addictive to a personality like hers. I hope her daughter has a good support system outside of her parents because they are awful, selfish people.
She’s not speaking to her so mom has nothing to lose. Also we don’t know if there was abuse. Autistics do these strange kind of things like cutting off families or rejecting societal structure. It seems like this may be the issue
"Strange kinds of things" ... no, you just never paid attention before. My grandmother didn't speak to her mother for decades, then my mother had a strange, unhappy, distant relationship with her mother, and now my sister and I are LC with our own parents. This is just giving a new name and awareness to an old phenomenon. Previously people couched doing this with simple a "we're not speaking" and that was the end of it. But it was easier back then to have "not speaking" equate to pure "no contact" because decades ago few people had the quick and easy ways to contact others that we now do. Used to be that if you wanted to stop hearing from someone, all you really had to do was join the army or move far away and pretend like you were just too busy to go to all the effort/expense of contacting them. Now it's like society thinks EVERYONE is supposed to have some right to constantly open lines of communication with you through like 5 different websites AND your phone no matter where you live or what job you're doing, so you have to make it deliberate if no contact is what you want. Heck, it's even fairly inexpensive for people to catch a plane to show up at your place in less than 6 hours for trips that used to take days or even weeks. It's far more work now to stop talking to someone, so of course what people used to do by passive means suddenly has to be loudly deliberate. But actually new? Meh. New strategies for an old phenomenon at best.
I play as well and also found that pretty funny along with the chanting 😂. In all seriousness though I really hope the daughter keeps up the no contact, it’s well deserved.
This is her true self....imagine being her daughter having to listen to her sarcastic condesention. We wish you well Haley, you made the right decision!
agree. this is true for toxic relatives too in the form of cousins. be well haley, hugs & prayers for you & everyone going through any trauma from familial ties 🙏💚
as is always the case with narc moms and their estranged children. they aren't mad about losing the relationship because that's not what they place value on. it's losing the control, the upper hand, the authority that they can't take.
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 If she "doesn't understand" then it is on her to gain understanding. How she does that is on her. One would think that would include anything other then, "I decided I didn't do anything wrong enough to deserve this." The disconnect is, Haley thinks that whatever her parent(s) did was worth ending contact over. Which is more likely, that Haley estranged over 'nothing' or that Lady Di is in serious denial? Given Di's questionable ability to absorb what was in the letter and complete inability to utter even the most basic apology because it, "required far too much contrition" as big signs that Di is creating a lot of issues for herself.
I have been no contact with my mother for five years. In that five years ive gotten a job thats just right, a 3 year relationship, and became a self published author. She doesnt have my address, phone number and im changing my name this year. Life is good without evil in your world.
The reason she doesn’t want to make any effort into reconciliation is because she has done nothing wrong. It is the (I mean “the”, not “her”, because to Diane, her daughter is not a person but a toy to dump all her frustrations on), as I was saying, It is the daughter’s fault, she has created this situation by walking away from her “loving” parents, therefore, the daughter should do the work. She is just going to play the victim and become an icon to other abusive parents who refuse to take responsibility for the damage they have done to their children. She is dying for approval. She knows she is right and she just wants to hear that she is right. Whatever attention her daughter is getting, is driving Diane crazy. That is something that a narcisistic parent cannot cope with. These kind of people are a nasty little two year old having a tantrum in the middle of a supermarket because mum said to her that she can’t have any more sweets. That is the image I keep in my mind whenever the person who has pretended to be my mother starts insulting me, belitling me, threatening me, guiltripping me or trying to stir an argument and then blame me for it. It works. Because that is who she really is. An angry child.She has never moved on.. and she's 75!
She is not 75 she identified her age as "older gen X" which would be 1960 born at their oldest. She just seems to act and present herself as much older.
@@justine8387 I was referring to muy own (biolobical)mother. She's is 75. Quite frankly, the age is irrelevant. These kind of people behave all their lives like angry children.
@@KizetteandTotorothank you for clarifying, I am sorry I misunderstood. My statement about Diannes age is just that I think she presents herself and older to be viewed as more vulnerable.
I knew by my middle teens that I needed to scrape off my parents at the first opportunity. I basically held my breath for years, to finish high school and get out of that town. It took me about 15 more years to finally go no contact. During that entire time, a simple apology and a promise to do much better, would have solved the problem, at least temporarily. Of course, they weren't the problem, I was and I just needed to get more counseling.
Even if her daughter was the by some evil child that randomly decides to cut contact with her parents this would be the absolute worse way to go about attempting to repair it.
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 By her own admission not only had she not "tried everything", she wasn't even willing to put in the work to recognize her part. She in no way honored her daughter's request. In fact it is even possible that she has gone so far not honoring her daughter's request that her daughter may now legally be able to request a civil anti-harassment order.
lol "I emotionally abused my child over political differences and now despite their efforts to escape I continue to stalk them I'm such a victim please give me money" LMAO
This hit me hard. 24 years is how long it’s been since I spoke or saw my mother. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I grew up in a home where my mother had severe mental health issues but found “her” people in the Evangelical Church. She did not need mental health help no she had Jesus now. She was a founding member of our church in Pennsylvania. I could never understand why I was so central to our Christian community. I thought all the kids were getting exorcisms because they also had demons in them. But it was just me, my mom got acceptance by not getting me the help I needed but exploiting me and giving me more trauma. I thought it was normal. I thought pain was love. I am a grandmother now. I haven’t spoken to my mother since I was 21. I think of her and I don’t cry anymore. I hurt for her. I have now walked the aging steps she has walked and I thought that when I got here when I got older I would understand why my Mom did this. I don’t.
Some things are not meant to be understood. It’s perfectly normal to not understand something that doesn’t make sense. I imagine even for her she had no insight into why she was abusive. May your heart be free and the love you gave to others your true triumph. I wish you much love and healing.
You did a great job. Watching her videos was like being abused by my own mom all over again. The way you shared your own view of what she is doing was in fact quite healing. Thank you for sharing. You have a lovely energy by the way.
It’s very telling when Diane suggests the daughter has “Replaced her parents with tik-tok viewers“-- uhhh , most empathetic people would not even fathom the idea that ‘validation from strangers on the internet’ in any way compares to the love of a family-member; THIS Gives some insight into how Diane’s mind works! When, (for the first time in history), she couldn’t get the reaction she wanted from her child, this narc decided to turn her kid’s traumatic decision into her new business. - GOOD RIDDANCE, DIANE You NIGHTMARE
@@lovelocked5385 What folks need to understand is that everyone is way beyond fed up with the antiquated “Authoritarian” parenting style, which very closely resembles narcissistic personality disorder. I mean, that may have served its purpose when your child was an infant… or maybe if you own a dog. But it’s no longer acceptable to treat a grown ass adult like that, regardless of if you’re their parent(s) or not. The delusions of superiority, infallibility with the whole “I can’t be wrong!” thing, along with the controlling behavior are simply no longer going to be tolerated by most. Also, keep in mind that there is a huge movement today of folks educating theirselves on NPD abuse and most every mental health person out there says to go “no contact” with them. Authoritarian parenting styles looks almost exactly like NPD. So, go ahead and play the “victim” role, but that for sure won’t change your situation as it’s also precisely what a textbook, true NPD case does as well when their unacceptable behavior is called out. Good luck!
I can barely stand to look at her smug, supercilious smirk. I'm amazed that she condescends to address her daughter at all. We are unworthy. PS. Don't believe her assertion that she "doesn't give a sht what we think." She gives several shts, lol. Great channel, thank you.
My mother sent me a letter the other day, four months since I went no contact, and the first thing she said was that she had Christmas presents for me and my partner, then advised me that she only screamed at me the last time we spoke because I went grocery shopping and she wanted to go out for coffee. So basically she's saying look at this nice stuff I got you, and I only got mad because I didn't get my own way. My mother almost never apologises, and when she does, it's always followed by But.
The dangling "carrot" that comes with the manipulative attempts at guilt trips. Because you know, her behavior is your fault. 🙄 I relate so much to that.
Just a friendly reminder - you went no contact. You are not obligated to open any letter, any email, any form of contact. Next time, throw that letter right into the trash without opening it. She violated your boundaries. ❤
@@scrumlass Yeah I don't anymore. My son has a friend who is using the same kind of emotional blackmail on him, and when I was talking him down from his massive turmoil it made me realise that I needed to practice what I preached.
Yeah, the creator of the "Estranged Parents" channel is not making videos in a spirit of reconciliation. She's fostering a community of others like her, wherein they'll preen themselves and reinforce the idea that the strained relationships with their children aren't their fault.
I think the question about Diane’s facial expressions, the smirk and why she seems to look like she is enjoying herself when talking about this pain of being cut off is because she is in the middle of gaslighting her daughter/victim so will be getting narcissistic supply. Her daughter has learnt how to effectively deal with this narcissist abuse which is through going non contact and the only way Diane can continue to abuse her daughter, thus continue to receive narcissistic supply is by making these offensive videos. Her poor daughter.
Malignant narcissists have been practicing their craft since birth. They’re experts at manipulating their audience and this morally bankrupt, toxic mother is a pro.
@@ec9833 i thib you may be taking this comment too literally - that being said there is often a strong genetic componant in the development of Cluster B personalities so its bot entirely hyperboic
My mom became a narcissist from experiences in her childhood imo. She definitely may have been genetically inclined to become one but her childhood didn't help.
Well said 👏 I am estranged from my father for nearly 20years now, and it irkes me that anyone could think that someone would take this kind of action unless it was 100% necessary. It's brutal for both parties. It is sometimes however, extremely necessary. Listening to her videos made me reflect on similar patterns of behaviour I have experienced from my father and other family members on his behalf over the years and fills me with a sense of sadness and anger: it's such a shame when somone can't see the harm they are doing to the people they profess to love. All I can say is introspection is a real gift to give yourselves and loved ones! & I hope her daughter knows that she's not alone in her experience. ✌️
One great piece of advice from a 57 year old mother of two grown, married men. Don’t get on your kids social media EVER. Don’t look, don’t participate….. if your husband tries to show you, in the words of Nancy Regan, “just say no.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don’t have social media at all. Peaceful.
Diane is an emotionally immature parent. The fact that she did everything but go to therapy says everything about her. She seems like a covert narcissist imo. It's ok to go no contact with emotionally abusive parents.
Imagine how much victimhood ammunition we’ve given them by finally slamming the door shut. This lady literally went through everyone she knew and further out to the entire world for empathy fuel.
This is going to become a huge issue ... I felt like the only one in this situation in the 2000's and now it feels as though so many people are having issues with family. Still, it's not an equal situation - the parents parented their children into the adult's they now are.
The last thing you want to do if your child is estranged with you is going public on youtube. And sharing family videos. If I were her daughter, that would make the estrangement permanent if it were not already.
I think the biggest gap between these parents and their children who have gone no contact (of which I am one) is the reason why. Which is rather obvious. When you ask the parents why their children left, they often chalk it up to the things Diane here does: social media or political views. But if you ask the adult children, we usually explain how we’ve been abused and the countless times we’ve tried to discuss things to fix the relationship. Like with most arguments in life, it’s the simplest of definition changes causing the problem. But of course if our parents were willing and capable of seeing things from our perspective we likely wouldn’t have left in the first place.
And the kids usually have very specific reasons, which are actionable: Stop doing X. Acknowledge you did X. But when you ask the parents, it's "This came out of nowhere" or "This is rebellion/a power struggle". It's like the androids in Westworld who are incapable of seeing certain things. I walked my Grandmother through *why* it was important you shouldn't just go through your kids' stuff and she couldn't comprehend it. She was extremely enmeshed, or tried to be.
Ugh. I saw one of that woman's videos about her daughter and went ballistic. I can totally see why her daughter went NC. I'm not sure how many videos she's made, but in the one I saw, she was talking about finding her daughter's TicToc and scouring all the comments to see if her daughter had mentioned HER. She also said that her daughter's birthday was special to her, Diane, because that was the day she became a mother. Life revolves around Diane. Everything about her daughter has to focus back on her. And yeah, she's totally a narcissist. She reminds me so much of my own mother, right down to that disgusting little smirk. Her daughter has apparently made the right decision.
When my birthday would come around, my mom would call me and say Happy Birthday. She would then, more years than not, say “I remember what I was doing __ years ago on this day!” (labor). This is the deranged woman who is still with my pervert dad. She’s a real piece of work.
Is it narcissistic to want to be thought of or included on a video that was literally about you - the mother? Could we switch it and say the autistic daughter is actually a narcissist?
Why are u so interested in chasing people around and projecting your “perfect mother” status on all the women who want to give another perspective? Oh, that’s right cuz you’re a perfect mother trying to give advice. Got it!
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 Would daughter being a Narc change that Lady Di is or that Di was the adult while Haley was a growing child? Can we agree that if Di was abusive then she doesn't get some kind of pass if her daughter turns out "just as bad"?
Regarding the Diane’s first two videos, your perspective aligns with mine in recognizing the potential passive-aggressive and manipulative elements. It’s important to approach complex family dynamics with compassion, understanding, and knowledge of the situation, as you mentioned. Most of all, family dynamics, and relationships require honest self evaluation, of which Diane shows zero. Thank you for sharing your experience and insights. Excellent analysis of the videos. I feel very sorry for, but stand with the daughter.
Diane is the epitome of what a flashback with PTSD is all about. She is the reminder of our childhood that is in our past and no longer in our future. She is the reminder of the absentee parent. The one that's not for safety, or comfort but, ennachment and ridicule. She is everything in my past that I have grown past. I hope this woman leaves her daughter alone for good. She deserves peace in her life
I have been an estranged parent. This is the first video I have seen where you are so understanding and not too judgemental. You make a lot of sense. Thank you
Diane reminds me of my own mother, Diane’s daughters turned out like me and my sister, I turned to religion and my sister turned to the world, I can read Diane very easily ,she’s so much like my mother
Just the fact that Diane made these videos is proof enough for me why her daughter should maintain no contact. Shame, disregard and humiliation is all it was meant to do, and that is the daughter’s lifetime of experience.
As a mom who's daughter isn't talking to her right now, I'm glad many of you made a video about this woman, because I was about to get sucked right in. She's also using the grief of mothers to make money. Sad
Her daughter obviously is a lot smarter than her mom and her mom is a narcissist big time toxic is toxic whether its family or not stay away from toxic people
Thank you for making this video. I saw the UA-cam video you referred to yesterday and stopped myself from commenting (progress). But your video popped up today so I thought I'd say something. I have NPD and my mother has BPD. I am estranged from my mother, so is my sister and maternal aunt. What I see in THIS woman? She is exploiting her daughter without her permission. I broke my own daughter's confidence for one of my videos and she also stopped talking to me. She is justified! This woman wants Fame/Popularity by any means necessary (NPD and ASPD trait). She is arrogant in her victimhood and grandiose with her presentation (NPD trait). She wants to punish her daughter for abandoning her; callous (APSD trait). I could go on but you get the picture. This woman is severely abusive and any mental health issue her daughter has rest on this woman's shoulders.
I feel like no one from the boomer generation knows the concept of emotional regulation, let alone taking responsibility in why their children no longer speak to them. there's a giant notion that children owe respect to their parents for helping them grow into functional adults, when in reality, that's your basic job as a parent. if you don't take care of your child, you lose them, and are often jailed for neglect and/or abuse. it's baffling to me. i'm supposed to go through life constantly kissing the feet of my parents who gave me crippling anxiety and depression because of their inability to regulate their own emotions? really?
Oh thank you. My father was the roof-over-your-head, food-on-the-table authoritarian jerk. Sure dad, bare legal minimum parental participation ought to just excuse your awful treatment of everyone in the household.
My husband is a younger ('58) Boomer that has the best EQ of anyone I ever met, but he had really exceptionally good parents and he exercises a lot being an athlete which I think helps too. They're pretty rare. I know only a few more Boomers like that. The rest of that generation is difficult to deal with. I think their Silent Gen and Greatest Gen parents were super traumatized during the industrialization and Great Depression, and WW2 years. Then most Boomers were very lucky to enjoy growing up in USAmerica in some of it's most prosperous years, but there were still dark secrets at home. Us Gen X, Millennials, etc. dealt with the downspill of it all without the entitlement of prosperity.
The mother is GenX (not boomer). I've found it way more productive and compassionate to judge people by their level of narcissism and not by their age.
Appreciate your insight, thank you. Poor daughter must be going through a lot - getting a diagnosis won’t be easy, even if it does help understanding. I so feel for the daughter, and I hope she has good support around her. The mother’s bullying-by-proxy is so distasteful. Additionally, the muscles she uses to “smile” seem just a twitch away from a full-toothed snarl. Angry, bitter woman.
thank you for tearing her video apart and pointing out the double speak in it. as an estranged child of a now dead parent, i can't stress enough how awful this woman looks in terms of how she is as a parent. she seems to think she is the victim here, which couldn't be further from the truth. i respect her daughter's strength in walking away. that is among the hardest things any child can do, for exactly the kind of behavior we are seeing out of this woman. children don't owe their parents anything. it's parents who started the cycle and the children can only finish it, the best way they know how. i tried to comment on her vid saying pretty much this, but her comments are 'paused'. well done and thank you for doing this.
I didn't know about the Dork Lady Travels channel, but she has another channel Diane Schmiane with car camping videos. She talks a lot on that one about how she wants to be a UA-cam star. We also learn that her other daughter has dedicated herself to Buddhist monastic life. Diane and her husband visit that daughter in one of the videos. The spousal interaction as well as parent/child is... interesting. That was the channel I found first, and there were red flags. I wasn't super surprised when this estrangement channel/vid was launched.
Becoming a monastic's a really creative solution. Gives the daughter a focus and support network that can readily be prioritised over her mother. Also makes it easier to control access/ exposure and if mother wants access visits, it's on monastery schedule terms not based on the expectations/demands of the parents. Smart survival mechanism.
@@carmellewis2466 I have pointed out to people how the fate of the 2nd daughter says a lot about the No Contact situation with Haley. I think Lady Di is low level seething that daughter 2 (the Golden?) is in a cult-like environment where the rules of the cult is going to dictate to outsiders and it's a battle she can't 'win'. It shows how hard those girls are working to distance themselves from their mother.
I love this video so much! Tysm for making it, I saw the original video and it rubbed me the wrong way immediately. There has to be a lot more to the story, like idk, THE DAUGHTER'S POV IN ALL OF THIS. I got strong victim vibes from the mom and that can't be trusted.
Just for the fact the daughter's letter to her mother said she felt like her mother was gaslighting her and hurting her mental health tells me everything. I like how they cut out a big portion of the letter, if you have nothing to hide, why cut it? That's insane.
Found this to be a calm and insightful interpretation of the video. My big takeaway is this mother is focused on how this all has affected her. She says it's political but her daughter clearly stated it was treatment over many years. If it was my child, I'd bare my soul, say I'm so sorry for how I have made you feel. Please help understand so I can try to be a better mother and go to counseling, hopefully with you or on my own.
This was a great video, you came off very professional and low key, and not too inflamatory! I remember being really triggered even by leveled, balanced facts as i had so much healing to do.
My understanding for being estrange with someone, For a child to cut off a parent, that parent would’ve seriously had to mess up in order to go Low or No contact. it’s not something done casually, it’s something very serious. Whomever those people are who cut off their parents I hope they find the healing they need.
You are correct! It is so difficult to be an orphan and there's usually many chances given. The "parents" usually don't respect boundaries and keep damaging/slandering, etc. after estrangement.
i remember realising in *1st grade* my mom would *never* be the sort of mom i wanted, needed & *every* child deserved & yet it *still* took me until *i* became a parent that i *1st* "cut her off" (though she'd *repeatedly* cut me off - even as a minor when they were *legally* responsible for me 🙄) i didn't want *my* child to be negatively impacted by my mom but admittedly re-connected with "low contact" as worried about normalizing not having a relationship with your parents in adulthood for my child but kind of unintentionally went "no contact" when my child was a teen as the mental health struggles my mom caused were overwhelming recently my "flying monkey" sibling informed me our mom had broken her hip & had surgery the week before (they waited until the eve of my b-day to tell me despite just a year prior apologizing they & our dad abandoned me as a teen to deal with her on my own 🙃) which guilted me into *almost* contacting my mom again thankfully dianne & many responding to her helped reinforce *why* i feel i unfortunately must remain "no contact" with her (however, think i'm going to send a letter like dianne's daughter did despite already explaining to my sibling why i can't have contact with our mom) as this has *literally* made me ill so it *certainly* has *not* been a casual or easy decision for me but i very much appreciate your validation & well wishes 💛 fwiw to anyone else who faces similar fears, my adult child (who i regrettably cursed with a narcissist for their other parent) & i have a *wonderful* relationship! i'm really just now getting the chance to try to start healing but better late than never for *all* of us!
I think her hair-trigger aggression, liberally infused with whining butthurt victimhood, towards anyone who doesn't instantly fall into line with whatever she declares must be just believed, gives more than enough information about why the daughter found the situation simply intolerable. This is not someone with a high degree of respect for other people's rights.
Great video! I was recommended a video from Diane’s channel likely because I have been digging deeper into my own childhood emotional neglect. I watched about 10 seconds of the video and immediately knew it wasn’t for me. I haven’t gone NC with my own mother as of yet, but I see a lot of her in the short clips of Diane you included. Thanks for making this video confirming what I thought the channel was about.
Boomer here. The more I observe this woman in her videos, the more unsettling I find her. The biggest irony is that she hasn't let her daughter go at all - she is demonising her, and any parent hoping for a reconciliation with their absent children should keep their money in their pockets rather than follow Diane's insight.
@@judegunn1 my mother exactly like this human leach is now throwing $ at our 19yo begging for a relationship they’ve never had with him. “Return to Sender”
I completely agree that these video's are not about trying to reconcile. This woman's daughter went no contact and it is making her crazy that she isn't getting any response and she doesn't have *the last word*. Yes this is a competition as to who will have more of a following and she's hoping her daughter will not be able to withstand peaking at her you tube channel so she (the mom) gets the last word and for her to show her daughter "see you're awful and everyone thinks so" This is just her getting in a dig to someone who no longer engages. With that said I am a "boomer parent" and I've had to navigate this when people didn't really know anything about this. The manipulation and guilt worked because we were taught "how could you be mean to your mom? She's your mom." I remember really only interacting at holiday time and then not really speaking.
I went to their last community post and trauma dumped hard. Just really hard, went in deep. I have some unholy hell I unleashed. Then deleted it. I don't know, it felt like I walked into the room, peed on the floor, cleaned it up and left. It felt really really good. Maybe I'm weird. Also the violin music gives world's tiniest violin. Bad choice.
Off topic but this is my first time seeing your content. So far, so good. Very good. You are soooo adorable. Im just like cuteness overload. And your vibe too. So chill. Very calming. Thank you.
It's possible Diane has both autism and NPD, but being manipulative IS NOT an autistic trait. Also, most autistic people have an abundance of empathy. NT's often don't recognize it because we express it differently. I've met a lot of NT's with low empathy. My own mother doesn't have much empathy. I have so much it's been detrimental to my well-being.
I just had a thought once: my parents are the same people I meet everyday on a street and I don't eat shit from some stranger Karen. I am 26 and didn't speak to my mother for 7 years and to my father for 2 years and recently understood that they don't think about me anymore and felt so relieved, life is much better without them around
SO interesting, thank you for your thorough breakdown. I think this is an issue that is going to become more and more relevant as time goes on. It's completely bizarre that these estranged parents struggle so much when their grown children ask for space and they respond by constantly contacting them! It feels so much like they are incapable of seeing their children as separate humans and instead extensions of themselves. My parents wouldn't leave me alone, despite me begging them for space for years - it took my husband interceding and threatening legal action for them to finally go away. This doesn't feel like a mother who's coming to terms with her situation, it feels more like a big "F U too" to her daughter - like two can play the I'll tell my story online game or something. A loving parent will respect their child's wishes, even if it's uncomfortable to go without them. A lot of these estranged parents seem incapable of at that, and instead want to paint themselves as victims of uncaring and unreasonable children. So sad for everyone involved, honestly.
I saw her vid and didn’t watch it. This woman is so much like my toxic Boomer mother! It takes sooooo much courage to tell a parent how much they harmed you. And usually the parent gets super defensive and shuts the kid down. Then they act like the victim when the kid moves on. Going NC with both parents was one of the most important gifts I ever gave myself. ❤❤❤❤
That smirk feels like a message to her daughter. "I can still monitor you. I see what you're saying and doing, and now I have a platform to respond to you whether you like it or not" because she references tiktok
The way that woman ran the alleged letter statements over each other so you don’t hear them is exactly how a narcissist hears you. They hear not your words, but bla bla bla. My own mother always represents what I say as bla bla bla. No contact is a beautiful thing.
The reason why we all feel so manipulated by Diane, is because through her highly edited and contrived video, she is attempting to control the way others view her. Instead of accepting that not everyone will like us, it’s not our job to be liked by everyone, and just showing us herself and letting us decide for ourselves. (admittedly a vulnerable thing to do, however, it’s her choice to air her dirty laundry publicly) We can’t control what others think of us. And frankly, it’s none of our business. Their views and opinions belong to them. The best we can do is to be ourselves and try to break the cycle and not spread our damage. We’ll likely pick up kindreds along the way, and at least then, they’ll like us for who we truly are, not who we’ve pretended to be. If you paint the sand grey and sell it as concrete, as soon as someone builds their house on it, they’ll learn the truth about the foundation. Some people will deny it and spend a fortune pouring resources in to papering up all the cracks. It’s hard work, but instead of fooling new people that the foundation is made of concrete, you have to dig the whole thing out, do the work, and re-build on genuine solid ground. This is true for both the victims of narcissists, and also for the narcissists themselves. Diane’s self image, her foundation if you will, (and her video) is made of sand, and we can all feel it sinking beneath our feet while she tells us it’s made of concrete. Her daughter chose to break away and build her own foundations. Diane will sink further into the sand, and need more resources (narcissistic supply from her viewers) to keep up with papering over the endless cracks. In Diane’s view, since her daughter is no longer supplying her with the resources to constantly paper over her cracks, and is now investing that energy into her own foundations, she is leaving Diane’s foundations to crumble and collapse. Hence the feelings of betrayal. But as Diane has led everyone else to believe her foundations are solid, no one else can see what the damage is, unless she doubles down on her solid foundations and paints her daughter out to be a wrecking ball. And here we are, watching a woman, whose house is sinking due to her lack of foundation, trying to gaslight anyone who’ll listen, into believing it’s being bulldozed.
Wow, Diane is quite the film maker. Diane presents herself so dramatically and sympathetically. She has found another way to get the attention that drove her daughter away. There was never any relationship other than proximity. Fortunately my mother is too old for these shenanigans.
I think the thing I admire the most about Millennials and Gen Z is their willingness to speak truth to power, and in putting action behind their words. I am glad to see this kind of parental manipulation is being very plainly called out in a rational, detailed, and unflinching manner. All my Gen X mind (as a mother of adult children myself) could summon when I saw clips of the video was, "wow, what a dick move to make as a mom" and "omg I can see why she got cut off". She might or might not be a pathological narcissist but I feel very ok calling her a jerk.
I happened to see this video a few months ago and so was intrigued to see this one. Thank you for your insightful review. IF she is a covert narcissist, her video is "outing" her, imho. Your careful analysis sheds light on how cloaked the covert narcissist's tactics really are. To the average person this kind of person can come across as normal and they can manipulate others into believing their story hook, line, and sinker. VERY WELL DONE HERE - THANK YOU. I hope this at least opens the eyes of the average person who has never experienced narcissistic abuse so at minimum they may hesitate to just believe everything someone says.
Diane is not autistic. Autistic people have EMPATHY. They don't do the sadistic things Diane does. I'm autistic / ADHD. I would NEVER do a smear campaign to any of my children! If anyone has a problem with me, they can tell me, we have a conversation, and we work it out. Both parties end up feeling better. That's how you should do it. Diane refuses to do that, and obviously that's a reason her daughter left. I wish Haley all the best in her future.
I know autistic people/dated an autistic for a decade… empathy is not a trait of all, in fact most of those I knew really struggled with empathy. You need theory of mind to have true empathy which is something autistics don’t have.
I agree, in fact she seems to mimic human behavior very well. Her smile and mannerisms are correct, it's just that without empathy the smile is cold and creepy.
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 I have theory of mind. Maybe some have difficulty with that, but I wouldn't say most. I doubt all the people you think are autistic truly are. It's a myth that autistic people don't have empathy. I'm very substantial proof they do. There are lots of videos made by actual autistic people here on UA-cam about that very subject. You need to educate yourself on autism. Not from the so called "experts" that don't know anything other than what they guess by looking at us, but from people who actually live the life, and talk about it to enlighten society, and help them understand us better so they can stop assuming the worst about us.
I’ve seen her nonsense video and wow, I thought my narcissist mother was bad but this diane, snyde, smirking, sarcastic. wow. I hope her daughter heals from her life with this mother.
Very well reasoned! I had to go "virtually" no contact with my father back before the internet. I'm 65 now, and in all those years I have never once met anyone that has gone no contact, where the parent was loving, kind and supportive. Never once! I'm glad that there youtube channels where you can get clarity and emotional support when having to make such a devastating decision. Everyone said I would regret my decision when he passed but never did. I felt sad that he never experienced the joy of loving his child like I do with mine. My son is 30 years old now and Im so lucky to have a great relationship with him.
I saw this video a few weeks ago and I wanted to add my two cents but in the end I didn’t - thank God! I didn’t want to give her the traffic, algorithm and supply. At the beginning I thought it was just a public journal, but the more I delved into it, I find it more and more disturbing bc of the victim narrative and unapologetic behaviour. And when I looked it up again, she counterattacked anyone who didn’t share her feelings, and empathised with her estranged daughter. I totally agree with your entire assessment and rational arguments. Another UA-camr has actually remixed her video as well, this time, she claims that Diane violated the rules for smear campaigning against her daughter. People like Diane feed on attention, positive or negative, to solicit new flying monkeys. I’ll give her attention through your platform to help YOU generate more traffic. 💕
A person, trying to force someone into contact with physical force, manipulation or throwing pity party - IS an abuser. And eyes, it's in their eyes. You can read narcs and antisocials very well once you know one of them closely. It doesn't matter if it's a friend, spouse or blood related person.
I tried watching her video and couldn't make it a few minutes without getting truly aggravated. I'm sure not having her daughter in her life does sincerely hurt on some level. There is no perfect person and I wouldn't be surprised if Diane's behavior was heavily influenced by the relationship she had with her own parents, who had been influenced by theirs', on and on as the story goes. The things is generations today are realizing that blood is not thicker than water. Absolutely nothing obligates you to keep someone in your life if they overwhelmingly make you miserable. For a long time divorcing your spouse was considered pretty taboo. Now it's common to point of being almost unremarkable. I suspect kids being estranged from parents will continue down a similar path. Because while I believe in learning, growing, forgiveness, and reconciliation, those things have to be earned. And to be earned at some point the parties involved have to admit that the consequences of their actions are what's at play here. And some people would rather do anything but that.
I remember watching her video, and she herself even made some very telling things, even stating that while they “tried everything to no avail”, when they read into the “everything” of how to heal these types of issues, that they were unwilling to comply with certain aspects, such as taking accountability, because she felt she had nothing to take accountability for and wasn’t going to feed into this idea and apologize for things she didn’t do. That right there, is a MASSIVE red flag lady. No ones kid is just out here cutting them off for no reason, it just isn’t happening, or if it does it is the super rare exception to the rule. And even IF you feel you did nothing wrong-if your child says they experienced something different, and they FELT badly about what happened or how it happened or how you conducted yourself, regardless of your intent, then at the very least you should care and acknowledge that you hurt them, even unintentionally so. Your intentions are irrelevant if you caused harm, and refusing to acknowledge and take accountability for your child expressing to you that they WERE harmed, no matter whether you meant for it to happen, or whether you felt your actions or intentions were “justified” or whatever, is a problem. I cannot imagine not giving a single shit about my child telling me something I did was harmful to them. It’s such a lack of self awareness and sense of superiority to think that someone else’s feelings and experience of things you have said or done are irrelevant or “made up” because you didn’t intend it to effect them that way. And despite what a good show this woman put on, she outed herself by stating her and her husbands unwillingness to even acknowledge that she harmed her daughter and make amends. Unwillingness to change, acknowledge, and apologize for the way your actions have effected your children is the biggest reason people cut ties.
The younger generations are done playing the abuse cycle game. Their parents are confused and angry because they didn’t have the courage to stand up and leave their own abusive parents. They see abuse as normal, just part of being family. A lot of times, the abuse the parents received was more visible - physical and verbal - but research is showing that “invisible” emotional and psychological abuse causes the exact same damage to the brain.
So, Mom and Dad, go ahead denying your mistakes. Go ahead believing your childhood was worse than mine. Go ahead saying “We did our best.” Go ahead choosing a life that I can no longer participate in. I miss you, but I don’t miss your abuse.
THIS!❤
@emmelinesprig489 Well said. I ended a relationship because when I met the mom, she was dreadful and controlling. I guess she could tell I wasn't into it, because at one point she 'jokingly' said "Well my mom tortured me, now it's my turn to torture you!" Um, nope. Not signing up for that one.
I'm not NC with my mother, but I cut communication to a bare minimum, and it's weird because I thought I'd miss her a lot, but I actually don't...
I've thought about it, and it comes down to the fact that my mother never had an interest in me as a person. Not my tastes, not my opinions, not my feelings. In fact she actively hates everything I believe in or enjoy.
So the relationship was very one sided, I was giving and not receiving anything in return. So now it's over there's nothing for me to miss
This is a true and real problem however,
there are people who are exploiting all of this to alienate the younger generations from the older ones,
which is why it is becoming more and more common.
It's pushed all over social media, which is a literal brainwashing propaganda machine.
This has been done with many societal issues which helps advance an agenda.
So, a real issue which has been hijacked to help create a population which is easier to manipulate and control.
Make no mistake, this woman is an absolute narcissist.
I had to cut ties with my parents (I'm a boomer, they were depression-era babies) because the staunch black and white thinking was so dogmatic. I had to do a lot of healing before I could go back, but I had to accept they wouldn't change, and that was OK.
She says she wants to reconcile. She doesn't. She wants her daughter to submit. She wants control.
🎯
🎯 is 🎯
She wants the relatives and common friends and her daughter's new friends to shame her into getting back under control
I disagree. I think she wants the daughter to give her basic human consideration. Look up the videos of the daughter. It's pinkcuttlebug. There is major mental illness going on with the daughter.
@@brockreynolds870 Yeah, mental illnesses are circular explanations. If you disagree, I guess I gotta pull all my cultural anthropology and social psychology knowledge here, and talk about the history of the western mental health field.
How Freud re-redacted all his first works to appease his colleages because he validated his patients' trauma responses and their abusive colleages didn't like that.
Or talk about the first diagnoses like the one given to black slaves everytime they wanted freedom. Drapetomania.
Or how homosexuality stopped being considered a mental illness solely because of activisim.
Or maybe talk about the history of the DSM and the ICD. And alternatives to those like The Power Threat Meaning Framework or the Indicative Trauma Impact Manual.
I can also talk about my decolonial psychology studies, and make references to iconic figures like Frantz Fanon or Paulo Freire.
I can also talk about the neurodiversity paradigm or non-pathologizing approaches to mental health.
If you want. But I'm gonna assume you don't. Idk, I cannot read minds; neither can you, so stop pretending to know for the sake of everybody's sanity here.
The smirk she has is called a narcissist's smirk. It's a way of showing dominance and control over someone, at least in their own head. Her eyes are also piercing to the viewer, not just because they're a nice color but she's literally glaring daggers into you while speaking. The audience is her daughter. That's who these videos are for. "Woe is me! Please go harass my daughter and make her come crawling back to me sobbing".
The smirk is actually called duper’s delite.
Your spot on!
Yeah exactly her mom.is toxic trash stay away from her evil is evil 😈
It's also how she opens her eyes wide and you can see the whites above her pupils. It's unnerving.
And if we don't do that, then we are "helping\harboring a traitor"
Saving your child from choking on a candy wrapper is what I would call the absolute bare minimum of being a parent. The child is eating a wrapper in the first place because the mother gave it to her child. And then the child was choking on the wrapper because the mother went off and did something else, thus neglecting her own child. Then she heard her choking, and ran back to save her. And she uses this as proof of being a good mother?
Exactly.
My mother tells equally clueless type stories/'evidence' of superior parenting. Things like, "My child fell out of bed and I saw her holding her arm and moving slowly so I packed her up and took her to the doctor. Turns out I was right and she had a broken collar bone!" **cue applause** I had a fracture and wonder if she remembers that for months afterwards she would poke it "Just to see how it's healing." with no concept that it caused me pain and it'd probably heal better if she stopped poking it...
Saving your toddler from what would otherwise carry dangerous or at least, upsetting outcomes…is simply being a parent to a toddler. 🤦🏽♀️ I used to “joke” how raising kids is a lot of “saving their lives” on the daily. It’s kind of the basis of the job, no?
One time my dad bragged to me that when I was a baby he really wanted to buy some weed but he had to spend it on me instead. And he honestly told me that story so I would know how much he cared and was a good dad. It did not elicit the reaction he had hoped. 😂
Yeah, my parents saved me from choking on a cough drop when I was little [I am scared of cough drops and hard candy to this day]. But it's funny how they never threw that back in my face to make me feel guilty. I think it was a horrible memory for them, as it is for me. This mom is sick.
Kids are biologically hardwired to love their parents and seek their approval. If a kid goes no contact, there's a reason.
Exactly. And in his economy they need their parents' money, house. One of them was talking about how her pregnant and homeless daughter still won't come back.(imagine thinking that a win). I asked her how bad the abuse was that even a pregnant and homeless woman is avoiding your help
@@zah936 or, youths buy houses and property together and act as communities.
@@zah936 did she answer, how bad the abuse is?
She doesn't want to reconcile, she is monetizing her abuse now
Bingo. She creeps me out. All that smiley chatter and I’m the victim stuff gave me anxiety and ptsd
Exactly...
Plus she and her husband create a "private community" with a membership fee,
some have said it's a $200 fee, I'm not sure about the cost,
but they're victimizing others who have similar situations now as well.
and this will make many of those problems even worse,
because it will become like a cult...
I disagree. I don’t think she knows what else to do with the pain.
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345Surely you say that in jest…MANY, MANY, MANY mothers mourn the loss of their children in one way or another without making blogs or videos about how painful it is. It’s okay to express yourself as a parent but not when it’s at the expense of the person you gave birth to. This is the worse video I’ve ever seen.
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345she is a grown adult who doesn’t understand how to apologize? Come on!
if i was her daughter this video would just prove my reasoning behind cutting contact
@icequeen1617 - I agree! Especially if her daughter has kept the estrangement details off-line.
Their daughter made the best personal decision of her life.
Ditto that! No contact since 2014.. complete bliss ever since
Nope I’m a Gen X’er
I would for sure get a restrainer order
The smirk is because she is getting away with violating her boundaries. This woman is clearly a narcissist.
Duper's Delight!
Absolutely, she is so proud of herself 🤢
Are all you guys UTube therapists?
@@pippenlapue9643 It's not hard to recognize the behaviors of abusive/narcissistic people lmao. Di is literally a textbook narc
@@pippenlapue9643 no. I am a survivor. I had to survive this kind of abuse among other things. That is how I know. It was my whole childhood.
Spot on. The baseline expression looks like a smile, which is unnerving bc she smiles regardless of the context and topic being spoken about. But the SMIRK! The smirk and barely containable glee in tossing veiled insults and "I gotcha's" towards her daughter, (and people who hit too close to the truth in the comments). This mom has some inner work to do. She cannot run from it forever. And she's not hiding well at all.
Funny thing is she can't tell that we can tell
This lady is a whoooole trip. When she said she buys herself a present on her daughter's birthday with her ever present creepy smile mask in the original video, it told me all i needed to know about her. It only got worse and worse as the videos went on. 😂 I am seeing a lot of psychologists/therapists using her video as a teaching tool about narcissism and narcissistic behavior/abuse lately so I'm glad it wasnt just me. Lol
I'm like 3 minutes in, I can already tell Mommy's a narcissist. I know that word gets thrown around a lot, but she has that death glare and the sneer, and she reminds me of my own mother. My hackles are standing up just watching the facial expressions.
Well said, Fae. Ah, yes! "The sneer" and the "death glare" ... and all of their garbage behavior.
My skin was immediately crawling & I felt deeply uneasy.
I have a life's experience of enduring a malignant narcissistic mother's abuse & this woman is a nightmare.
I see a lot of my mother in her too, 4 years no contact.
It’s perfectly okay to utilize the word “narcissist”. It’s not a diagnosis & it points to prominent behaviors one sees that more so fall under traits. And regardless of diagnosis of NPD or not, narcissistic traits are abusive in nature. We’ve got highly qualified individuals in the mental health industry letting us know that we do, indeed, have permission to use this term. JS. 💕
@ec9833 exactly. Not all narcissistic behaviours are committed by people with NPD, and not all behaviours of a person with NPD are narcissistic.
The resting smug face makes my skin crawl.
Poor mommy. Can't abuse her daughter in person anymore, so she's settled for doing it online. She'll die lonely.
In a nursing home.
Sadly, she won't die lonely. She's getting all the supply she needs through her UA-cam channel
@IanM-id8or the internet is fleeting. I doubt these people will be with her at that time.
@@cj5848 If a child writes you a heartfelt letter describing her pain at your guilt-tripping and gaslighting and how it has effected her mental health I hardly think a one word, "Received" reply followed by a year of ignoring those issues isn't abuse or a very telling symptom of dysfunction. And then admitting the next communication was an attempt to rug sweep - I call it emotional abuse and so does anyone who knows what emotional abusers sound like and how they operate. And that's one example. Her inability to apologize because well, "that required far too much contrition" according to Lady Di. Unable to say sorry when you've wronged someone? So Lady Di acts like a perfect person and parent and you think that doesn't impact a flawed and learning small human being raised by her? It does - trust me.
Oh and to be clear, these are only the abuses that you can see in Lady Di's well polished and best foot forward video. Anyone that overtly telling in their abuse in public is going to be better behind closed doors in your mind? LOL Nope. They save the worst of their offenses for private...
Why are you assuming she "abused" her daughter ? Diane comes off a bit self centered. But her daughter, who seems to have a legion of apologists and supporters, comes off as mean and skewed in a very bizarre way. The candles, the picture of her mom with the halo...very disturbing.
Did she sell her daughter to getS.A.? Did she beat her daughter so badly she has brain damage? Did she abandon her daughter so she could go to Vegas and gamble? Or did she just not give her daughter that car she wanted? What do you mean by abuse????
It's just Narcissism. Her daughter ghosting her wounded her narcissism, and she is trying to hoover her in order to both punish her daughter and reestablish control over her, and she's doing it in a very public manner, which has the added benefit of giving her a large source of fuel to draw from. Classic NPD up and down.
She will never agree with that 😂😂
Yep.
The daughter did not ghost her. The daughter wrote her a detailed email, which was disregarded for a full year.
Ghosting is when a person walks away without any explanation. Diane just doesn't like the explanation.
Diane is indignant and isn't willing to take any responsibility. She actually seems to not like her daughter and doesn't want a relationship with her.
No she wants her to submit to her
@@roseanncampbell3168 good point. Thanks for the perspective.
For having let her daughter "go" she sure went all in on this dramatic production and doesn't let go. Hope the daughter has a good life.
The child is also a human with emotions who this mom seems to ignore, minimize because her own emotions and needs seem more important.
Thats nothing compared to the daughters video
Daughter seems to have a whole cadre of vloggers at her command. And its funny. NOBODY wants to talk about ahat the horrible Godless thing this eoman did to deserve abandonment. What did she do?? Didnt let daughter go to school to study lesbian dance theory?? Didn't let her ' explore her sexuality ' at 13? Didnt let her dance half naked on Pride day?? Didnt seem happy when her daughter got pregnant by a gang member? Must have been something awful like that. What a horrible woman!!!!
@@cj5848 Won't somebody please think of poor Diane and her feelings! Diane is doing plenty of that so you don't need to enable and it would be helpful to actually think of Haley and her feelings on this. She's the one so hurt by the situation that she walked away. But that's not her pain showing, right? She's just horrible and bad like all estranged off-spring because that's a whole lot easier for abusers to swallow then looking in the mirror and owning your abysmal parenting.
She sounded a lot like my mother. I love not having contact with my mother.
So sorry you have a Mum like this 😔
@@rachelm1816 thanks 😊
Amen! I get it!
Ditto!
Same! @claritybadb
This is a great video. That woman’s video popped up on my UA-cam and I have no idea why. I need a video like this to cleanse the pallet after watching her lack of accountability and self awareness.
Mine too and it kept happening. I had to block her channel.
She is making sure that her daughter will never be able to reconnect. She is adding to the years of abuse instead of trying to fix whatever wrong she did. I would never speak to my mother again if she started a whole channel like this. If we did reconnect, would she give up the channel? Would she continue her victim campaign? Now she's got an audience, that's addictive to a personality like hers. I hope her daughter has a good support system outside of her parents because they are awful, selfish people.
Yeah they basically said "go to Hell" when her daughter was just desperate for peace
she has pry been trying to find an idea to make herself some cash on youtube
She doesn't want a relationship with her daughter. She wants narcissistic supply/sympathy.
She’s not speaking to her so mom has nothing to lose. Also we don’t know if there was abuse. Autistics do these strange kind of things like cutting off families or rejecting societal structure. It seems like this may be the issue
"Strange kinds of things" ... no, you just never paid attention before. My grandmother didn't speak to her mother for decades, then my mother had a strange, unhappy, distant relationship with her mother, and now my sister and I are LC with our own parents. This is just giving a new name and awareness to an old phenomenon. Previously people couched doing this with simple a "we're not speaking" and that was the end of it. But it was easier back then to have "not speaking" equate to pure "no contact" because decades ago few people had the quick and easy ways to contact others that we now do. Used to be that if you wanted to stop hearing from someone, all you really had to do was join the army or move far away and pretend like you were just too busy to go to all the effort/expense of contacting them. Now it's like society thinks EVERYONE is supposed to have some right to constantly open lines of communication with you through like 5 different websites AND your phone no matter where you live or what job you're doing, so you have to make it deliberate if no contact is what you want. Heck, it's even fairly inexpensive for people to catch a plane to show up at your place in less than 6 hours for trips that used to take days or even weeks. It's far more work now to stop talking to someone, so of course what people used to do by passive means suddenly has to be loudly deliberate. But actually new? Meh. New strategies for an old phenomenon at best.
This woman is so messed up, she is beyond reach. Her poor daughter is trying to get healthy and I wish her well.
The violin part killed me 🤣 as a violinist myself.
😜🤪😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
I play as well and also found that pretty funny along with the chanting 😂. In all seriousness though I really hope the daughter keeps up the no contact, it’s well deserved.
I'm not a violinist, but I find your comment very funny.
I lol
ME TOO!!! 🤣🤣🤣 I was like damn, couldn’t even have found some Vivaldi or something?? Lmao
The original video I tried to go in with an open mind but the violins just authentically sent me into a fit of laughter like no.
This is her true self....imagine being her daughter having to listen to her sarcastic condesention. We wish you well Haley, you made the right decision!
some of us dont have to imagine it unfortunately.
agree. this is true for toxic relatives too in the form of cousins. be well haley, hugs & prayers for you & everyone going through any trauma from familial ties 🙏💚
One of those is here defending her and she constantly attacks people's iq. No wonder her child left
I appreciate the support cats adding unnecessary drama to the video
😂 all cat drama is necessary ❤
Cat drama is always necessary! 😂
Poor cats! 😅
🐱
Diane doesn't want reconciliation, she wants control.
as is always the case with narc moms and their estranged children. they aren't mad about losing the relationship because that's not what they place value on. it's losing the control, the upper hand, the authority that they can't take.
Bingo🎯💯
Or she could just be a mother who’s lost her daughter and is severely hurt by that and doesn’t understand. Like, it literally blows her mind
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 If she "doesn't understand" then it is on her to gain understanding. How she does that is on her. One would think that would include anything other then, "I decided I didn't do anything wrong enough to deserve this." The disconnect is, Haley thinks that whatever her parent(s) did was worth ending contact over. Which is more likely, that Haley estranged over 'nothing' or that Lady Di is in serious denial? Given Di's questionable ability to absorb what was in the letter and complete inability to utter even the most basic apology because it, "required far too much contrition" as big signs that Di is creating a lot of issues for herself.
And also revenge
I have been no contact with my mother for five years. In that five years ive gotten a job thats just right, a 3 year relationship, and became a self published author. She doesnt have my address, phone number and im changing my name this year. Life is good without evil in your world.
Congrats on your job and self-publication 💚
congrats!
The reason she doesn’t want to make any effort into reconciliation is because she has done nothing wrong. It is the (I mean “the”, not “her”, because to Diane, her daughter is not a person but a toy to dump all her frustrations on), as I was saying, It is the daughter’s fault, she has created this situation by walking away from her “loving” parents, therefore, the daughter should do the work. She is just going to play the victim and become an icon to other abusive parents who refuse to take responsibility for the damage they have done to their children. She is dying for approval. She knows she is right and she just wants to hear that she is right. Whatever attention her daughter is getting, is driving Diane crazy. That is something that a narcisistic parent cannot cope with. These kind of people are a nasty little two year old having a tantrum in the middle of a supermarket because mum said to her that she can’t have any more sweets. That is the image I keep in my mind whenever the person who has pretended to be my mother starts insulting me, belitling me, threatening me, guiltripping me or trying to stir an argument and then blame me for it. It works. Because that is who she really is. An angry child.She has never moved on.. and she's 75!
Right on.
She is not 75 she identified her age as "older gen X" which would be 1960 born at their oldest.
She just seems to act and present herself as much older.
@@justine8387 I was referring to muy own (biolobical)mother. She's is 75. Quite frankly, the age is irrelevant. These kind of people behave all their lives like angry children.
@@KizetteandTotorothank you for clarifying, I am sorry I misunderstood.
My statement about Diannes age is just that I think she presents herself and older to be viewed as more vulnerable.
Only gets worse as they get older too 😢
I knew by my middle teens that I needed to scrape off my parents at the first opportunity. I basically held my breath for years, to finish high school and get out of that town. It took me about 15 more years to finally go no contact. During that entire time, a simple apology and a promise to do much better, would have solved the problem, at least temporarily. Of course, they weren't the problem, I was and I just needed to get more counseling.
no they were the problem, they were bad parents if you needed to get away from them
Even if her daughter was the by some evil child that randomly decides to cut contact with her parents this would be the absolute worse way to go about attempting to repair it.
💯This is an excellent point rarely mentioned.
She’s probably tried everything and is reaching out for community support
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 By her own admission not only had she not "tried everything", she wasn't even willing to put in the work to recognize her part. She in no way honored her daughter's request. In fact it is even possible that she has gone so far not honoring her daughter's request that her daughter may now legally be able to request a civil anti-harassment order.
She isn’t trying to reconcile. She’s decided to make money mocking her daughter.
I don't think she wants to repair it. She regards it as a business opportunity.
lol "I emotionally abused my child over political differences and now despite their efforts to escape I continue to stalk them I'm such a victim please give me money" LMAO
This 💯
This hit me hard. 24 years is how long it’s been since I spoke or saw my mother. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I grew up in a home where my mother had severe mental health issues but found “her” people in the Evangelical Church. She did not need mental health help no she had Jesus now. She was a founding member of our church in Pennsylvania. I could never understand why I was so central to our Christian community. I thought all the kids were getting exorcisms because they also had demons in them. But it was just me, my mom got acceptance by not getting me the help I needed but exploiting me and giving me more trauma. I thought it was normal. I thought pain was love. I am a grandmother now. I haven’t spoken to my mother since I was 21. I think of her and I don’t cry anymore. I hurt for her. I have now walked the aging steps she has walked and I thought that when I got here when I got older I would understand why my Mom did this. I don’t.
Thank you for sharing that. That's an incredible story.
Some things are not meant to be understood. It’s perfectly normal to not understand something that doesn’t make sense. I imagine even for her she had no insight into why she was abusive. May your heart be free and the love you gave to others your true triumph. I wish you much love and healing.
You did a great job. Watching her videos was like being abused by my own mom all over again. The way you shared your own view of what she is doing was in fact quite healing. Thank you for sharing. You have a lovely energy by the way.
Thank you! Sorry that dredged up those feelings in you!
It’s very telling when Diane suggests the daughter has “Replaced her parents with tik-tok viewers“-- uhhh , most empathetic people would not even fathom the idea that ‘validation from strangers on the internet’ in any way compares to the love of a family-member; THIS Gives some insight into how Diane’s mind works! When, (for the first time in history), she couldn’t get the reaction she wanted from her child, this narc decided to turn her kid’s traumatic decision into her new business. - GOOD RIDDANCE, DIANE You NIGHTMARE
Whenever I see moms make these videos...I can almost immediately get a sense of why the child has gone no contact 😬
Projection? You have no evidence to go on
That's why many don't speak up. Parents are immediately blamed for the adult childs behavior. Blame the mom game never gets old
Give the woman a break, nothing worst than losing a child
@@lovelocked5385 What folks need to understand is that everyone is way beyond fed up with the antiquated “Authoritarian” parenting style, which very closely resembles narcissistic personality disorder. I mean, that may have served its purpose when your child was an infant… or maybe if you own a dog. But it’s no longer acceptable to treat a grown ass adult like that, regardless of if you’re their parent(s) or not.
The delusions of superiority, infallibility with the whole “I can’t be wrong!” thing, along with the controlling behavior are simply no longer going to be tolerated by most.
Also, keep in mind that there is a huge movement today of folks educating theirselves on NPD abuse and most every mental health person out there says to go “no contact” with them.
Authoritarian parenting styles looks almost exactly like NPD.
So, go ahead and play the “victim” role, but that for sure won’t change your situation as it’s also precisely what a textbook, true NPD case does as well when their unacceptable behavior is called out.
Good luck!
"Yeah, just like when you see a woman who's dressed scantily and a man thinks it's okay to "grape" her." That's your logic.
Her experience is so painful that she's made a business out of it. Sounds like a Narc to me.
@@NikD215 how about the people making videos of her videos. What would you call them?
I can barely stand to look at her smug, supercilious smirk.
I'm amazed that she condescends to address her daughter at all.
We are unworthy.
PS. Don't believe her assertion that she "doesn't give a sht what we think." She gives several shts, lol.
Great channel, thank you.
My mother sent me a letter the other day, four months since I went no contact, and the first thing she said was that she had Christmas presents for me and my partner, then advised me that she only screamed at me the last time we spoke because I went grocery shopping and she wanted to go out for coffee. So basically she's saying look at this nice stuff I got you, and I only got mad because I didn't get my own way. My mother almost never apologises, and when she does, it's always followed by But.
The dangling "carrot" that comes with the manipulative attempts at guilt trips. Because you know, her behavior is your fault. 🙄 I relate so much to that.
You sound like a leftie woke superior- ist. Your way or no way.
OMG this is so similar to my mom it's CRAZY. Abusive parents sure rhyme, don't they? 😂
Just a friendly reminder - you went no contact. You are not obligated to open any letter, any email, any form of contact. Next time, throw that letter right into the trash without opening it. She violated your boundaries. ❤
@@scrumlass Yeah I don't anymore. My son has a friend who is using the same kind of emotional blackmail on him, and when I was talking him down from his massive turmoil it made me realise that I needed to practice what I preached.
These parents seem to enjoy the victim status.
Well yeh, cuz they're making good money from it.
They created a "private community" for others which has a membership fee
They DO. That's it.😃
Narcissistic
My mother, who's raging abusive episodes were monumental and extremely damaging, was the only and ultimate victim.
Yeah, the creator of the "Estranged Parents" channel is not making videos in a spirit of reconciliation. She's fostering a community of others like her, wherein they'll preen themselves and reinforce the idea that the strained relationships with their children aren't their fault.
It was surely a smear campaign against her poor daughter
I think the question about Diane’s facial expressions, the smirk and why she seems to look like she is enjoying herself when talking about this pain of being cut off is because she is in the middle of gaslighting her daughter/victim so will be getting narcissistic supply. Her daughter has learnt how to effectively deal with this narcissist abuse which is through going non contact and the only way Diane can continue to abuse her daughter, thus continue to receive narcissistic supply is by making these offensive videos. Her poor daughter.
Best comment ever
Malignant narcissists have been practicing their craft since birth. They’re experts at manipulating their audience and this morally bankrupt, toxic mother is a pro.
Idunno about since birth…and even early childhood I think we’ve got a lot more study needing to be done before we can declare when & why. JS
@@ec9833 i thib you may be taking this comment too literally - that being said there is often a strong genetic componant in the development of Cluster B personalities so its bot entirely hyperboic
My mom became a narcissist from experiences in her childhood imo. She definitely may have been genetically inclined to become one but her childhood didn't help.
How do you figure she's morally bankrupt?
What I can't believe is how some people can watch that woman and take her side. She seems so off to me
It’s funny to me how she has an “answer” to every negative comment and why it’s wrong…. We see you, lady 🙄
Well said 👏 I am estranged from my father for nearly 20years now, and it irkes me that anyone could think that someone would take this kind of action unless it was 100% necessary. It's brutal for both parties. It is sometimes however, extremely necessary. Listening to her videos made me reflect on similar patterns of behaviour I have experienced from my father and other family members on his behalf over the years and fills me with a sense of sadness and anger: it's such a shame when somone can't see the harm they are doing to the people they profess to love. All I can say is introspection is a real gift to give yourselves and loved ones! & I hope her daughter knows that she's not alone in her experience. ✌️
One great piece of advice from a 57 year old mother of two grown, married men. Don’t get on your kids social media EVER. Don’t look, don’t participate….. if your husband tries to show you, in the words of Nancy Regan, “just say no.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don’t have social media at all. Peaceful.
You are on Social media right now!! What the hell...
@@Dustwitch I just observe. I don’t have followers or have any accounts🤯
Diane is an emotionally immature parent. The fact that she did everything but go to therapy says everything about her. She seems like a covert narcissist imo. It's ok to go no contact with emotionally abusive parents.
I have offered therapy and was not answered
No wonder her daughter bailed.
Imagine how much victimhood ammunition we’ve given them by finally slamming the door shut. This lady literally went through everyone she knew and further out to the entire world for empathy fuel.
This is going to become a huge issue ... I felt like the only one in this situation in the 2000's and now it feels as though so many people are having issues with family. Still, it's not an equal situation - the parents parented their children into the adult's they now are.
The last thing you want to do if your child is estranged with you is going public on youtube. And sharing family videos. If I were her daughter, that would make the estrangement permanent if it were not already.
That is true.
I tried to tell her this.
I fully believe she doesn't want true reconciliation.
@@StephieGsrEvolution it is OK not to want reconciliation, just be honest about it.
@judyheller your point?
Toxic families believe No Contact is a punishment.
I did it to save my life and it is permanent. See ya never creepy robotic family of origin 👋
haley absolutely did the right thing. mommie dearest!
I think the biggest gap between these parents and their children who have gone no contact (of which I am one) is the reason why. Which is rather obvious. When you ask the parents why their children left, they often chalk it up to the things Diane here does: social media or political views. But if you ask the adult children, we usually explain how we’ve been abused and the countless times we’ve tried to discuss things to fix the relationship. Like with most arguments in life, it’s the simplest of definition changes causing the problem. But of course if our parents were willing and capable of seeing things from our perspective we likely wouldn’t have left in the first place.
And the kids usually have very specific reasons, which are actionable: Stop doing X. Acknowledge you did X. But when you ask the parents, it's "This came out of nowhere" or "This is rebellion/a power struggle".
It's like the androids in Westworld who are incapable of seeing certain things. I walked my Grandmother through *why* it was important you shouldn't just go through your kids' stuff and she couldn't comprehend it. She was extremely enmeshed, or tried to be.
Ugh. I saw one of that woman's videos about her daughter and went ballistic. I can totally see why her daughter went NC. I'm not sure how many videos she's made, but in the one I saw, she was talking about finding her daughter's TicToc and scouring all the comments to see if her daughter had mentioned HER. She also said that her daughter's birthday was special to her, Diane, because that was the day she became a mother. Life revolves around Diane. Everything about her daughter has to focus back on her.
And yeah, she's totally a narcissist. She reminds me so much of my own mother, right down to that disgusting little smirk. Her daughter has apparently made the right decision.
Yes! She actually bought herself a present on her daughters birthday to commemorate it. I too went ballistic 😅🤣
When my birthday would come around, my mom would call me and say Happy Birthday. She would then, more years than not, say “I remember what I was doing __ years ago on this day!”
(labor).
This is the deranged woman who is still with my pervert dad.
She’s a real piece of work.
Is it narcissistic to want to be thought of or included on a video that was literally about you - the mother? Could we switch it and say the autistic daughter is actually a narcissist?
Why are u so interested in chasing people around and projecting your “perfect mother” status on all the women who want to give another perspective? Oh, that’s right cuz you’re a perfect mother trying to give advice. Got it!
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 Would daughter being a Narc change that Lady Di is or that Di was the adult while Haley was a growing child? Can we agree that if Di was abusive then she doesn't get some kind of pass if her daughter turns out "just as bad"?
It says a lot about a person if we only have your side of the story and everyone sides AGAINST you!
Regarding the Diane’s first two videos, your perspective aligns with mine in recognizing the potential passive-aggressive and manipulative elements. It’s important to approach complex family dynamics with compassion, understanding, and knowledge of the situation, as you mentioned. Most of all, family dynamics, and relationships require honest self evaluation, of which Diane shows zero. Thank you for sharing your experience and insights. Excellent analysis of the videos. I feel very sorry for, but stand with the daughter.
Diane comes across as highly manipulative and obsessive with a whole lot of "everyone look at me."
Diane is the epitome of what a flashback with PTSD is all about. She is the reminder of our childhood that is in our past and no longer in our future. She is the reminder of the absentee parent. The one that's not for safety, or comfort but, ennachment and ridicule. She is everything in my past that I have grown past. I hope this woman leaves her daughter alone for good. She deserves peace in her life
I sincerely hope Haley is living her best life now. 👍✌️🍀
that's funny you caught that little smirk, it says so so much about her. i love your analysis, very thoughtful. subbed!
I have been an estranged parent. This is the first video I have seen where you are so understanding and not too judgemental. You make a lot of sense. Thank you
Diane reminds me of my own mother, Diane’s daughters turned out like me and my sister, I turned to religion and my sister turned to the world, I can read Diane very easily ,she’s so much like my mother
Just the fact that Diane made these videos is proof enough for me why her daughter should maintain no contact. Shame, disregard and humiliation is all it was meant to do, and that is the daughter’s lifetime of experience.
As a mom who's daughter isn't talking to her right now, I'm glad many of you made a video about this woman, because I was about to get sucked right in. She's also using the grief of mothers to make money. Sad
Her daughter obviously is a lot smarter than her mom and her mom is a narcissist big time toxic is toxic whether its family or not stay away from toxic people
Thank you for making this video. I saw the UA-cam video you referred to yesterday and stopped myself from commenting (progress). But your video popped up today so I thought I'd say something. I have NPD and my mother has BPD. I am estranged from my mother, so is my sister and maternal aunt.
What I see in THIS woman? She is exploiting her daughter without her permission. I broke my own daughter's confidence for one of my videos and she also stopped talking to me. She is justified! This woman wants Fame/Popularity by any means necessary (NPD and ASPD trait). She is arrogant in her victimhood and grandiose with her presentation (NPD trait). She wants to punish her daughter for abandoning her; callous (APSD trait). I could go on but you get the picture. This woman is severely abusive and any mental health issue her daughter has rest on this woman's shoulders.
Hello! Thanks for commenting. I've been watching your videos for some time, I always get a lot of insight from your content.
@@snaruh5748 💗Thank you Back!
I feel like no one from the boomer generation knows the concept of emotional regulation, let alone taking responsibility in why their children no longer speak to them. there's a giant notion that children owe respect to their parents for helping them grow into functional adults, when in reality, that's your basic job as a parent. if you don't take care of your child, you lose them, and are often jailed for neglect and/or abuse. it's baffling to me. i'm supposed to go through life constantly kissing the feet of my parents who gave me crippling anxiety and depression because of their inability to regulate their own emotions? really?
Oh thank you. My father was the roof-over-your-head, food-on-the-table authoritarian jerk. Sure dad, bare legal minimum parental participation ought to just excuse your awful treatment of everyone in the household.
My husband is a younger ('58) Boomer that has the best EQ of anyone I ever met, but he had really exceptionally good parents and he exercises a lot being an athlete which I think helps too. They're pretty rare. I know only a few more Boomers like that. The rest of that generation is difficult to deal with. I think their Silent Gen and Greatest Gen parents were super traumatized during the industrialization and Great Depression, and WW2 years. Then most Boomers were very lucky to enjoy growing up in USAmerica in some of it's most prosperous years, but there were still dark secrets at home. Us Gen X, Millennials, etc. dealt with the downspill of it all without the entitlement of prosperity.
The mother is GenX (not boomer).
I've found it way more productive and compassionate to judge people by their level of narcissism and not by their age.
As an estranged parent myself, it's wrong to overgeneralize an entire generation, similar to racism, ageism, sexism.
@@SamStone1964 I hear that. It has nothing to do with it. Abusers come in all shapes, sizes and ages. And so do good humans who care about others.
Appreciate your insight, thank you. Poor daughter must be going through a lot - getting a diagnosis won’t be easy, even if it does help understanding. I so feel for the daughter, and I hope she has good support around her. The mother’s bullying-by-proxy is so distasteful. Additionally, the muscles she uses to “smile” seem just a twitch away from a full-toothed snarl. Angry, bitter woman.
thank you for tearing her video apart and pointing out the double speak in it. as an estranged child of a now dead parent, i can't stress enough how awful this woman looks in terms of how she is as a parent. she seems to think she is the victim here, which couldn't be further from the truth. i respect her daughter's strength in walking away. that is among the hardest things any child can do, for exactly the kind of behavior we are seeing out of this woman. children don't owe their parents anything. it's parents who started the cycle and the children can only finish it, the best way they know how. i tried to comment on her vid saying pretty much this, but her comments are 'paused'. well done and thank you for doing this.
I didn't know about the Dork Lady Travels channel, but she has another channel Diane Schmiane with car camping videos. She talks a lot on that one about how she wants to be a UA-cam star. We also learn that her other daughter has dedicated herself to Buddhist monastic life. Diane and her husband visit that daughter in one of the videos. The spousal interaction as well as parent/child is... interesting. That was the channel I found first, and there were red flags. I wasn't super surprised when this estrangement channel/vid was launched.
Becoming a monastic's a really creative solution. Gives the daughter a focus and support network that can readily be prioritised over her mother. Also makes it easier to control access/ exposure and if mother wants access visits, it's on monastery schedule terms not based on the expectations/demands of the parents. Smart survival mechanism.
@@carmellewis2466 I have pointed out to people how the fate of the 2nd daughter says a lot about the No Contact situation with Haley. I think Lady Di is low level seething that daughter 2 (the Golden?) is in a cult-like environment where the rules of the cult is going to dictate to outsiders and it's a battle she can't 'win'. It shows how hard those girls are working to distance themselves from their mother.
@@ellyk8834oh wow!! They have another daughter? Damn! They effed up bad!
Thanks for this info. There was no way I was doing a deep dive on Diane. Her 💩kept appearing in my feed and I blocked her channel.
@@lr9559 I'm not sure. I watched it back when it was released.
I love this video so much! Tysm for making it, I saw the original video and it rubbed me the wrong way immediately. There has to be a lot more to the story, like idk, THE DAUGHTER'S POV IN ALL OF THIS. I got strong victim vibes from the mom and that can't be trusted.
Her eyes at 8:30 say it all.. CRAAZY.
When confronted with the true, that's how they act.
Just for the fact the daughter's letter to her mother said she felt like her mother was gaslighting her and hurting her mental health tells me everything. I like how they cut out a big portion of the letter, if you have nothing to hide, why cut it? That's insane.
Found this to be a calm and insightful interpretation of the video. My big takeaway is this mother is focused on how this all has affected her. She says it's political but her daughter clearly stated it was treatment over many years. If it was my child, I'd bare my soul, say I'm so sorry for how I have made you feel. Please help understand so I can try to be a better mother and go to counseling, hopefully with you or on my own.
This was a great video, you came off very professional and low key, and not too inflamatory!
I remember being really triggered even by leveled, balanced facts as i had so much healing to do.
My understanding for being estrange with someone, For a child to cut off a parent, that parent would’ve seriously had to mess up in order to go Low or No contact. it’s not something done casually, it’s something very serious. Whomever those people are who cut off their parents I hope they find the healing they need.
You are correct! It is so difficult to be an orphan and there's usually many chances given. The "parents" usually don't respect boundaries and keep damaging/slandering, etc. after estrangement.
i remember realising in *1st grade* my mom would *never* be the sort of mom i wanted, needed & *every* child deserved & yet it *still* took me until *i* became a parent that i *1st* "cut her off" (though she'd *repeatedly* cut me off - even as a minor when they were *legally* responsible for me 🙄)
i didn't want *my* child to be negatively impacted by my mom but admittedly re-connected with "low contact" as worried about normalizing not having a relationship with your parents in adulthood for my child but kind of unintentionally went "no contact" when my child was a teen as the mental health struggles my mom caused were overwhelming
recently my "flying monkey" sibling informed me our mom had broken her hip & had surgery the week before (they waited until the eve of my b-day to tell me despite just a year prior apologizing they & our dad abandoned me as a teen to deal with her on my own 🙃) which guilted me into *almost* contacting my mom again
thankfully dianne & many responding to her helped reinforce *why* i feel i unfortunately must remain "no contact" with her (however, think i'm going to send a letter like dianne's daughter did despite already explaining to my sibling why i can't have contact with our mom) as this has *literally* made me ill
so it *certainly* has *not* been a casual or easy decision for me but i very much appreciate your validation & well wishes 💛 fwiw to anyone else who faces similar fears, my adult child (who i regrettably cursed with a narcissist for their other parent) & i have a *wonderful* relationship! i'm really just now getting the chance to try to start healing but better late than never for *all* of us!
Very good point. Especially these days, it's very hard to survive without intergenerational support.
I think her hair-trigger aggression, liberally infused with whining butthurt victimhood, towards anyone who doesn't instantly fall into line with whatever she declares must be just believed, gives more than enough information about why the daughter found the situation simply intolerable. This is not someone with a high degree of respect for other people's rights.
Great video! I was recommended a video from Diane’s channel likely because I have been digging deeper into my own childhood emotional neglect. I watched about 10 seconds of the video and immediately knew it wasn’t for me. I haven’t gone NC with my own mother as of yet, but I see a lot of her in the short clips of Diane you included. Thanks for making this video confirming what I thought the channel was about.
What do you think? Is Diane Andrew Tate for boomer parents??? Ok I'm going to go hide under my bed now.
YES!!!!
She's a narcissist
Boomer here. The more I observe this woman in her videos, the more unsettling I find her. The biggest irony is that she hasn't let her daughter go at all - she is demonising her, and any parent hoping for a reconciliation with their absent children should keep their money in their pockets rather than follow Diane's insight.
Absolutely! This is the definition of parents to Gen X’ers like myself
@@judegunn1 my mother exactly like this human leach is now throwing $ at our 19yo begging for a relationship they’ve never had with him.
“Return to Sender”
Ugh… my mother. Going on a year of no contact. I’m just starting to feel peace.
“You don’t like me and I don’t like you. Move along” ✌️
I completely agree that these video's are not about trying to reconcile. This woman's daughter went no contact and it is making her crazy that she isn't getting any response and she doesn't have *the last word*. Yes this is a competition as to who will have more of a following and she's hoping her daughter will not be able to withstand peaking at her you tube channel so she (the mom) gets the last word and for her to show her daughter "see you're awful and everyone thinks so" This is just her getting in a dig to someone who no longer engages. With that said I am a "boomer parent" and I've had to navigate this when people didn't really know anything about this. The manipulation and guilt worked because we were taught "how could you be mean to your mom? She's your mom." I remember really only interacting at holiday time and then not really speaking.
I went to their last community post and trauma dumped hard. Just really hard, went in deep. I have some unholy hell I unleashed.
Then deleted it.
I don't know, it felt like I walked into the room, peed on the floor, cleaned it up and left. It felt really really good. Maybe I'm weird.
Also the violin music gives world's tiniest violin. Bad choice.
I've done that before. It does feel good to get it out then delete it.
Off topic but this is my first time seeing your content. So far, so good. Very good. You are soooo adorable. Im just like cuteness overload. And your vibe too. So chill. Very calming. Thank you.
It's possible Diane has both autism and NPD, but being manipulative IS NOT an autistic trait. Also, most autistic people have an abundance of empathy. NT's often don't recognize it because we express it differently. I've met a lot of NT's with low empathy. My own mother doesn't have much empathy. I have so much it's been detrimental to my well-being.
I just had a thought once: my parents are the same people I meet everyday on a street and I don't eat shit from some stranger Karen. I am 26 and didn't speak to my mother for 7 years and to my father for 2 years and recently understood that they don't think about me anymore and felt so relieved, life is much better without them around
SO interesting, thank you for your thorough breakdown. I think this is an issue that is going to become more and more relevant as time goes on. It's completely bizarre that these estranged parents struggle so much when their grown children ask for space and they respond by constantly contacting them! It feels so much like they are incapable of seeing their children as separate humans and instead extensions of themselves. My parents wouldn't leave me alone, despite me begging them for space for years - it took my husband interceding and threatening legal action for them to finally go away. This doesn't feel like a mother who's coming to terms with her situation, it feels more like a big "F U too" to her daughter - like two can play the I'll tell my story online game or something. A loving parent will respect their child's wishes, even if it's uncomfortable to go without them. A lot of these estranged parents seem incapable of at that, and instead want to paint themselves as victims of uncaring and unreasonable children. So sad for everyone involved, honestly.
I saw her vid and didn’t watch it. This woman is so much like my toxic Boomer mother!
It takes sooooo much courage to tell a parent how much they harmed you. And usually the parent gets super defensive and shuts the kid down.
Then they act like the victim when the kid moves on.
Going NC with both parents was one of the most important gifts I ever gave myself. ❤❤❤❤
That smirk feels like a message to her daughter. "I can still monitor you. I see what you're saying and doing, and now I have a platform to respond to you whether you like it or not" because she references tiktok
Ah, i remember her now. The lady who went to live in puerto rico and tjen complained that it was full of puertoricans
The way that woman ran the alleged letter statements over each other so you don’t hear them is exactly how a narcissist hears you. They hear not your words, but bla bla bla. My own mother always represents what I say as bla bla bla. No contact is a beautiful thing.
The reason why we all feel so manipulated by Diane, is because through her highly edited and contrived video, she is attempting to control the way others view her. Instead of accepting that not everyone will like us, it’s not our job to be liked by everyone, and just showing us herself and letting us decide for ourselves. (admittedly a vulnerable thing to do, however, it’s her choice to air her dirty laundry publicly)
We can’t control what others think of us. And frankly, it’s none of our business. Their views and opinions belong to them. The best we can do is to be ourselves and try to break the cycle and not spread our damage. We’ll likely pick up kindreds along the way, and at least then, they’ll like us for who we truly are, not who we’ve pretended to be.
If you paint the sand grey and sell it as concrete, as soon as someone builds their house on it, they’ll learn the truth about the foundation. Some people will deny it and spend a fortune pouring resources in to papering up all the cracks. It’s hard work, but instead of fooling new people that the foundation is made of concrete, you have to dig the whole thing out, do the work, and re-build on genuine solid ground.
This is true for both the victims of narcissists, and also for the narcissists themselves. Diane’s self image, her foundation if you will, (and her video) is made of sand, and we can all feel it sinking beneath our feet while she tells us it’s made of concrete. Her daughter chose to break away and build her own foundations. Diane will sink further into the sand, and need more resources (narcissistic supply from her viewers) to keep up with papering over the endless cracks.
In Diane’s view, since her daughter is no longer supplying her with the resources to constantly paper over her cracks, and is now investing that energy into her own foundations, she is leaving Diane’s foundations to crumble and collapse. Hence the feelings of betrayal. But as Diane has led everyone else to believe her foundations are solid, no one else can see what the damage is, unless she doubles down on her solid foundations and paints her daughter out to be a wrecking ball. And here we are, watching a woman, whose house is sinking due to her lack of foundation, trying to gaslight anyone who’ll listen, into believing it’s being bulldozed.
Wow, Diane is quite the film maker. Diane presents herself so dramatically and sympathetically. She has found another way to get the attention that drove her daughter away. There was never any relationship other than proximity. Fortunately my mother is too old for these shenanigans.
I think the thing I admire the most about Millennials and Gen Z is their willingness to speak truth to power, and in putting action behind their words. I am glad to see this kind of parental manipulation is being very plainly called out in a rational, detailed, and unflinching manner. All my Gen X mind (as a mother of adult children myself) could summon when I saw clips of the video was, "wow, what a dick move to make as a mom" and "omg I can see why she got cut off". She might or might not be a pathological narcissist but I feel very ok calling her a jerk.
I happened to see this video a few months ago and so was intrigued to see this one. Thank you for your insightful review. IF she is a covert narcissist, her video is "outing" her, imho. Your careful analysis sheds light on how cloaked the covert narcissist's tactics really are. To the average person this kind of person can come across as normal and they can manipulate others into believing their story hook, line, and sinker.
VERY WELL DONE HERE - THANK YOU. I hope this at least opens the eyes of the average person who has never experienced narcissistic abuse so at minimum they may hesitate to just believe everything someone says.
Diane is not autistic. Autistic people have EMPATHY. They don't do the sadistic things Diane does. I'm autistic / ADHD. I would NEVER do a smear campaign to any of my children! If anyone has a problem with me, they can tell me, we have a conversation, and we work it out. Both parties end up feeling better. That's how you should do it. Diane refuses to do that, and obviously that's a reason her daughter left. I wish Haley all the best in her future.
Yeah I didn't see any signs of autism with her.
I know autistic people/dated an autistic for a decade… empathy is not a trait of all, in fact most of those I knew really struggled with empathy. You need theory of mind to have true empathy which is something autistics don’t have.
Some autistic people have empathy. Some do not.
I agree, in fact she seems to mimic human behavior very well. Her smile and mannerisms are correct, it's just that without empathy the smile is cold and creepy.
@@nunnunnunyabizzie2345 I have theory of mind. Maybe some have difficulty with that, but I wouldn't say most. I doubt all the people you think are autistic truly are. It's a myth that autistic people don't have empathy. I'm very substantial proof they do. There are lots of videos made by actual autistic people here on UA-cam about that very subject. You need to educate yourself on autism. Not from the so called "experts" that don't know anything other than what they guess by looking at us, but from people who actually live the life, and talk about it to enlighten society, and help them understand us better so they can stop assuming the worst about us.
Im dying from the thumbnail lol. Horns and glasses that look like red eyes 😂
I’ve seen her nonsense video and wow, I thought my narcissist mother was bad but this diane, snyde, smirking, sarcastic. wow. I hope her daughter heals from her life with this mother.
She’s monetized her smear campaign against her daughter.
Good for her!
Very well reasoned! I had to go "virtually" no contact with my father back before the internet. I'm 65 now, and in all those years I have never once met anyone that has gone no contact, where the parent was loving, kind and supportive. Never once! I'm glad that there youtube channels where you can get clarity and emotional support when having to make such a devastating decision. Everyone said I would regret my decision when he passed but never did. I felt sad that he never experienced the joy of loving his child like I do with mine. My son is 30 years old now and Im so lucky to have a great relationship with him.
I saw this video a few weeks ago and I wanted to add my two cents but in the end I didn’t - thank God! I didn’t want to give her the traffic, algorithm and supply.
At the beginning I thought it was just a public journal, but the more I delved into it, I find it more and more disturbing bc of the victim narrative and unapologetic behaviour. And when I looked it up again, she counterattacked anyone who didn’t share her feelings, and empathised with her estranged daughter.
I totally agree with your entire assessment and rational arguments. Another UA-camr has actually remixed her video as well, this time, she claims that Diane violated the rules for smear campaigning against her daughter.
People like Diane feed on attention, positive or negative, to solicit new flying monkeys. I’ll give her attention through your platform to help YOU generate more traffic. 💕
A person, trying to force someone into contact with physical force, manipulation or throwing pity party - IS an abuser.
And eyes, it's in their eyes. You can read narcs and antisocials very well once you know one of them closely.
It doesn't matter if it's a friend, spouse or blood related person.
I tried watching her video and couldn't make it a few minutes without getting truly aggravated. I'm sure not having her daughter in her life does sincerely hurt on some level. There is no perfect person and I wouldn't be surprised if Diane's behavior was heavily influenced by the relationship she had with her own parents, who had been influenced by theirs', on and on as the story goes.
The things is generations today are realizing that blood is not thicker than water. Absolutely nothing obligates you to keep someone in your life if they overwhelmingly make you miserable. For a long time divorcing your spouse was considered pretty taboo. Now it's common to point of being almost unremarkable. I suspect kids being estranged from parents will continue down a similar path.
Because while I believe in learning, growing, forgiveness, and reconciliation, those things have to be earned. And to be earned at some point the parties involved have to admit that the consequences of their actions are what's at play here. And some people would rather do anything but that.
Love to see your kitty.
My Ginger feline sends ĝreetings!
Have a happy day.
I remember watching her video, and she herself even made some very telling things, even stating that while they “tried everything to no avail”, when they read into the “everything” of how to heal these types of issues, that they were unwilling to comply with certain aspects, such as taking accountability, because she felt she had nothing to take accountability for and wasn’t going to feed into this idea and apologize for things she didn’t do.
That right there, is a MASSIVE red flag lady. No ones kid is just out here cutting them off for no reason, it just isn’t happening, or if it does it is the super rare exception to the rule. And even IF you feel you did nothing wrong-if your child says they experienced something different, and they FELT badly about what happened or how it happened or how you conducted yourself, regardless of your intent, then at the very least you should care and acknowledge that you hurt them, even unintentionally so. Your intentions are irrelevant if you caused harm, and refusing to acknowledge and take accountability for your child expressing to you that they WERE harmed, no matter whether you meant for it to happen, or whether you felt your actions or intentions were “justified” or whatever, is a problem.
I cannot imagine not giving a single shit about my child telling me something I did was harmful to them. It’s such a lack of self awareness and sense of superiority to think that someone else’s feelings and experience of things you have said or done are irrelevant or “made up” because you didn’t intend it to effect them that way.
And despite what a good show this woman put on, she outed herself by stating her and her husbands unwillingness to even acknowledge that she harmed her daughter and make amends. Unwillingness to change, acknowledge, and apologize for the way your actions have effected your children is the biggest reason people cut ties.