I'm an older Gen X who went no contact with a majority of my family a few decades ago, before it was remotely socially acceptable. I understand why her daughter went no contact with her. She created a UA-cam channel to invalidate her daughter's feelings and would rather blame societal issues as opposed to holding up a mirror. She is smug, cavalier and she creeps me out.
I’m also “older gen x”. I do not claim this woman. 😂 She sounds anti-personal responsibility for herself, but expects her kid to take on ALL the responsibility - personal and otherwise.
Same. I did it before it was cool. And also wrote about how you do not have to put up with shitty family members. We are trend setters!!! 😊 (But as genexers, we already knew that).
My mother sent me a letter telling me I wasn't up to the family standards & she never wanted to see me again. Our son was 6 weeks old & my husband had just opened his own practice, translation- 'You think you are clever! I will kick you while you are most vulnerable'. I showed my brother the letter , he looked at me and said, "It's your get out of jail free card". He was right. It's been 22 peaceful years since I went no contact from that moment. As an 80 year old now she still tells people how how much she suffers because of the estrangement but fails to mention the letter or that she has made no effort during these years to address the situation. She is happier with the victim status & the narc supply. Excellent analysis and video. Thank you so much.
I hope you kept that letter, your brother was right and very clever. Show it to people who sympathize with your dreadful excuse of a mother. Sorry..this is why I do not like mothers day. I had a nice one and my kids were good to me, but so many weren't. It's a bad holiday. Same as absent father's day.
This reminds me of my mom. When I brought my son home from the hospital, he wasn't well and I called her crying and asking her to bring me formula for him because he wouldn't latch. She flew into my apartment with the stuff I asked for and yelled at me about how selfish I am! It was one of the rare times I rendered her speechless. She said "This isn't about you!" And I said "No mom. It isn't about YOU." I'm so happy you got your get out of jail free card. I just got something like it too. There comes a time where a person would rather be one of the narc's stories than have to sit through another one! 😅
I’m 65 which makes me a late boomer. The increasing rates of estranging parents has to do with changes in society. There was a time that becoming an estranged from your parents was an unforgivable sin in the eyes of society. No matter what your parents did or how they behaved you should never walk away which gave them the power to behave as they wanted because there really was nothing you could do. Diane’s channel is filled with comments from people my age explaining to her that estrangement has nothing to do with being young or politics. It has everything to do with the awareness that it is not OK to treat your children badly either physically or mentally and that they have every right to walk away. But of course she will not listen to any of that. I suspect her politics and dogmatic views were a factor in her daughter going no contact. I did not go no contact with my own abusive mother, but I did create many boundaries which made my life much better. My only regret was not understanding earlier what she was, and why.
@ArtfullyMusingLaura You are threatened by my intelligence. Look up how to spell communism. Read the communist manifesto. Learn everything you can about the history of communism. I'd hurry because eventually, you will not be able to look it up online. The books will be banned too. They need everyone to act like you . That means ignorant only educated enough to do the job. Programmed to not think critically about anything. Perfect little comrades that will turn in their neighbor's family etc over to theGestapo .
Actually if you look around America is heading towards the end. Once commuism completes it's cycle we will be a 3rd world country. However you can stop it by waking up.
My father had a slightly different but very similar look in his eyes. It's the look a bully will give you when they're obviously pretending to be nice and their real agenda is to hurt you. If a stranger gave me that look I'd run fast.
As an experienced target of a family narcissist , the tone of her voice, her crazy eyes and haircut tells me all I need to know about why her daughter went no contact.
Thank you for an insightful video. I'm mid-Gen X and I work at a university, so I interact with a lot of Millennials and Gen Z people - they are just people. I don't see any of the "trends" she alludes to. They have their own personalities and goals - I do think many of them are much more socially responsible than my generation, however. I enjoy them. I'm also an estranged child - I cut ties with my father many years ago due to his abusive behaviour and have never regretted it. I had no choice about being around him growing up, but I had a choice as an adult and I used it. I see it as self-care.
I hear ya! Also Gen X. I think we tended to wait much longer to cut ties with toxic parents than Millennials and Gen Z. Although why we waited longer is anyone's guess. Maybe as latchkey kids we just hoped things would get better.
I decided to go back to college in my "old age" - started in my 40's and ended in my 50's. I graduated from UCLA just before the pandemic. I had so much fun getting to know tons of young people. They're just people, like you said. They have dreams and goals, and they work very hard. We all got along beautifully. I have no idea why people my age are always putting down younger generations like they're horrible and "entitled." That's not what I see at all.
@@sharimeline3077 they take their university career so much more seriously than I took mine! And often they are much more considerate and compassionate
@@Tillunas DaughterS. One is estranged, the other went to a monastery to get away from her. That doesn't just say something about Diane, it screams it.
As a young Gen X who went NC almost 2 decades ago, I think one factor in recent "trend" is that before social media and people being open about it, many of us were shamed by most of the people in our lives and society as a whole if they knew we were no contact. This conversation is long over due. Hopefully for every Diane, there is a parent who is willing to listen to their child and go to therapy.
it's so great that she decided to do this for that reason. so many people are like her and it's very hard for those who deal with these people to express what is happening.... so many boomers and Gen x are like this and we are done.
I am a boomer with two amazing gen Z adult children. The way I see it, they spent decades learning about the ways of the world from me and their dad. Now, my husband and I sometimes need to make sense of the times we live in, and we ask them questions and listen to their viewpoints. We enjoy talking together and learning from each other. I sense that Diane might have been lacking this give-and-take with communication with her adult child. No one is a perfect parent, but really listening and trying to understand your child goes a long way.
Wow, this lady really found a way to absolutely never take responsibility for the estrangement. I would say, if the cause for the falling of society is that we have created enough social and economic support for people be able to escape abuse and mistreatment from parents, then let it burn! 😂 If we look at family structures from generations before us, many many people couldn't afford (emotionally or financially) to leave these familial ties or protect themselves. There also wasn't the awareness about mental illness, mistreatment, abuse and healthy boundaries. Many of us have worked so hard to teach our children to have healthy psyches, and they are spreading the word that respect and love is a standard people deserve. Were all families crap? No, but for the ones that were, more people put up with it back then.
As an older Gen X who went no contact with my own family about 12 years ago, I have to say this Diane woman reminds me so much of my own mother - always playing the victim and won't take any responsibility for her own actions that led to estrangement. I bet $100 this Diane is posting these videos in hopes that her daughter will see them and feel guilty and to garner sympathy from the public - both of which are feeding her narc needs. The reason adult children go no contact with parents and family is largely due to abuse, not because of any society changes. Abusive parents rarely admit their fault and it's clear that in Diane's case, she's not the least bit interested in taking a look in the mirror and fixing anything within her own self.
absolutely! And when you know her daughter posts tiktok, then you know her coment about sitting around all day and only making tik toks- was directed at her daughter...
Or Diane might be posting this to get social pressure on the daughter: all the family and their friends will see this and be talking to her daughter about what’s so wrong with Diane? “You only have one mom….. when she dies you will miss her…”
“I’m not that political but…. I’ll sure cite the latest conservative conspiratorial talking points, all the while taking no personal responsibility…” 😂 🕵🏻♂️ 🙀
Her: We are all Americans, at least those of us who came here legally. (A political side note that is completely irrelevant to the point she was making 🙃)
She’s clearly a low-cognitive level Trump supporter. Not the type of person to acknowledge the role they played and their responsibility in the estrangement.
I am extremely politically conservative, but it has no effect on my relationship with my adult offspring. She is a self absorbed person. And personally I think she is using the idea of political affiliation to try to draw in customers. She grabs onto ideas of others to attempt to make herself sound more intelligent. Our country and world face tremendous challenges, and only a fool would deny that. But even during the Great Depression families were not destroyed by outside forces. In her first video there is a section where she is videotaped with her daughter as a toddler. It is very uncomfortable for me to watch. She is acting for the camera, not connecting with her baby. The little girl seems so uncomfortable. I didn’t fully appreciate it the first time I watched it, but she is acting at being a loving mom. I personally have no use for labels like Boomer, Gen X , Millennials and so forth, we are people. We have more in common with each other than that which separates us.
Thanks for your perspective. Diane goes to great lengths to avoid the conclusion that she’s angry she can’t control her adult child anymore, blaming it all on outside factors and some sort of inherent weakness in her daughter. I for one am GLAD that we no longer have to put up with parental abuse, and that we have more choices around support and information on that. Validation too, it can be a very isolating position to be in as the adult child choosing no contact - particularly if the parent has groomed the community into believing how righteous they are and how wicked the NC child is. It’s the same pattern of abuse and community elective blindness to their part in the abuse as complicit bystanders. Diane is trying to whip up an online community where she can get her narcissistic supply, and abuse her daughter by proxy. I feel so sorry for the daughter, and applaud her for being the one to step aside and break the miserable chain of abuse. Diane, we can all see what you cannot see or are refusing to 🤷♀️
I had an EP tell me "I have worked with estranged families for ten years, and what I have found is that third parties have been involved in every estranged family I have worked with." and counsels "it would not be wise to reconcile until they see some obvious recognition in their adult child that they have been influenced by the worldwide cult of adult child estrangement." because that is far more probable to her then people estranging from dysfunctional/abusive families. That's the mentality at play.
I watched her very first video, and as soon as she said she couldn't even consider an amends letter because it requires way too much contrition from the parents? Some parents want to be right. They do not really want to be in relationship. Diane is more invested in being right.
@@ellyk8834Yikes. That EP. I mean, duh! One of the least healthy traits of dysfunctional families is triangulation. I hardly think that the third leg of the triangle is a cult of adult estrangement. It's usually another person in the family. And sometimes that third person has been dead for a while. But it's much easier to outsource responsibility to a nameless, faceless other. Good Lord.
This woman will go to the ends of the earth to not be responsible for her daughter going no-contact. If she spent a fraction of the time she spends justifying herself in trying to truly empathize with her daughter, she might be able to get her relationship back.
Exactly, it's like there's no genuine heart behind her actions, it's all just some crazy campaign covering every thought EXCEPT what she should actually do. Like if you love your daughter dial direct & just SAY the truth. Apologize. Tell her you want to try to make it right. Why all this other crazy nonsense in front of the world? I really feel for her daughter. Total strangers feel more love, compassion & respect for her daughter than she does & it's just bizarre.
This isn’t about the daughter. It’s about this woman’s lack of Identity and instead of doing the work to discover who she is *now* she’s metaphorically drowned her daughter in a frantic effort to hang on to her “Mommy Dearest” Identity. If a patient in my practice showed me this I would absolutely support their decision to sever ties. *Mommy Dearest needs to get a life of her OWN.* What a pathetic attempt to rationalize, justify, defend, explain, divert and distract from the *real problem* here: Mommy Dearest and her profound sense of entitlement.
Perhaps Diane does not actually care that her daughter is not speaking to her, just how she looks to everyone else. Women are judged based on their relationships. A woman is looked down on if their children do not speak to them or have anything to do with them. People feel that they are terrible human beings whether it is true or not.
Another channel I saw after yours, had a bunch of good comments. One spoke about how this is just a huge smear campaign after her daughter left, and no wonder the daughter left, if this is the type of BS she had to deal with. Just imagine finding videos on YT of your mother playing the victim after years of abusing you? Other comments spoke about how she never once spoke about her daughter's feelings, etc etc. Selfish, Entitled, Narcissist. Both parents. Best of all, one comment spoke about how she's playing the victim and getting her supply from these other narcissistic/selfish parents, while also charging them $200 a month or w/e for membership.
I was a legal adult long before the internet. However I was an immature mess of a legal young adult, isolated, parentified, abused. It took me years and years and I'll always be part abused child. Had internet information been around when I was young, I may have gone NC. I think life would have better. Even when young, I remember thinking 'I should have ran the day I turned 18.' But I was too beaten down to know I could do that. I had zero resiliency growing up also.
The average estrangement is only 4.5 years? The last time I saw or spoke to my mother, she was younger than I am now. UA-cam did not exist yet. That's a LONG time ago.
@@elisabethhughes6005 I don’t have to wonder! Diane drew me in because she’s basically my mom, thankfully I was spared the Trump political discourse and my mom didn’t pretend to be of a younger generation! The guilt/shame/manipulation/judgement/jealousy/vindictiveness/neglect/gaslighting is the same. Maybe it’s because they were both raised catholic they are so similar.
Diane: No wonder your daughter bailed. And, your children don't owe you contact. If you think your daughter does, there's another reason you're not getting it from her.
She gives me the creeps. Horrible manipulative narcissism and self-victimization hiding behind a very thin veneer of ‘love’, empty eyes and a rictus grin. My mother is the same.
Diane is looking outside of herself to find someone to blame for her daughter's decision. I find it really interesting how she mentions "familial obligations" at one point. I would love to ask Diane what specific obligations she believes her daughter has to her...
If you want to really stump a Lady Di of the world ask her what "familial obligations" she has to Haley or her other daughter. The idea that she (as the parent) might have obligations to her children is going to draw a blank look because the honest answer is "None." This will be followed by anger because nothing says, "I'm an abusive parent." like thinking you have no obligations to your child. And that tracks with their mentality, "I don't even feel obligated to not abuse you."
Well, I'm pretty sure i couldn't be around this woman five minutes..so i can actually see why her daughter wants to get away from her ..good for her daughter
diane rly said "i want my daughter to not be able to live alone and pay her own bills. i want her to struggle so hard that she comes back and then i have acess to her again. just wow!
Before anything else I'd like to recall attention to the first video where she says the rift was based mainly on politics, and connect that to her reference here as to how Gen X was invested in the qualities that "made America great". I think that choice of words is pretty indicative, just saying. Now: I'm Gen X (1974). My kids haven't cut me off; the youngest just turned 25. One is a radio DJ, the other a professional musician. These were career tracks that I fretted over with concerns about pay and stability. I worried they'd get their sensitive artistic hearts broken by a callous industry. So I responded by making damn sure they were aware of and ready to take on the challenges. I skipped Starbucks and worked OT to save a financial cushion. I also kept my anxieties to myself, because rockets need high-test fuel to blast off, not extra weight. My kids visit me as often as they can. They call and text me several times a week to share their adventures, and they never hear a word of criticism. That is because _this_ Gen Xer values the idea of everyone being heard and responded to in an age appropriate manner, everyone being honest and not bottling up until they explode, everyone being safe to show who they are in each moment whether it's a showing a shortcoming or or a strength, and most importantly, everyone being loved UNCONDITIONALLY, which is something she has admitted she struggles with personally. I am not saying we always agreed and never struggled. We are not the Brady Bunch, but my children always knew that when it came down to brass tacks, their choices and autonomy would be respected and I'd be both their heavy artillery and soft landing spot, hell or high water. Diane's daughter didn't cut her off because of a generation gap. Diane lost her daughter because she's a disrespectful, holier-than-thou, sneering perfectionist who views her child as a defective self-reflective object rather that a young human being with the innate right to self-direction, which includes the right to make every mistake in the book on the way to maturity without the burden of propping up her parent's frail ego.
She keeps mentioning people "feeling no obligation to those who raised them" as a negative impact of XYZ, as if people have an obligation to those who raised them in the first place. You shouldn't want your children to "feel an obligation to you from you raising them" and that's such an entitled view. It is YOUR job to raise your children, including children you take on as your own. Your children do not owe you in return for you making an active choice to take on that responsibility. They don't owe you for you doing the bare minimum of what you're supposed to do, of what even many ANIMALS do without somehow feeling entitled to anything in return
I really enjoyed reading your reply. I loved how you compared humans to animals. That was a sign that your very uneducated. Estrangement happens everyday to millions of parents across the world. An for many reasons and abuse is not always a factor. Without actually knowing this lady and her daughter were all just assuming. An id be very careful because this happens to democrats liberals and conservatives. An its not just in America.. I suggest everyone here study . Then maybe your replies wouldn't be so narrow minded .
Facts did you know that 1 in 6 people in America are estranged from a family member? So now are they all crazy? Are they all narcissists? Literally, only 6% of the population has npd. Everyone of us has narcissistic tendencies. Healthy people are a little narcissistic. However, they also are empathic. Now we are seeing people with very little empathic traits. Communism is in our schools churches, music and books and tv. Learn about the history of communism. The wall in Berlin came down and the infection spread. Look up how many countries are now run by a communist dictator. In fact just ask your Alexa what is commuism. She will tell you Communism is a far-left ideology etc.
Yes we owe are parents respect . As a nurse I cam honesty say most of you wi be left in a nursing home in you're old age. Your children will rarely visit you. If they don't leave you sooner. You sit behind your screens judging estranged parents. An yet you yourself have Mads many mistakes. An you have no right to judge anyone. The day will come when your time is up. Rather you believe in Buddhism Christianity etc You will answer to Jesus. So you decide do something to stop commuism from ruining family's before its to late. Because everyone here is already a commuist. Denying it won't make everything better. So instead of spending your time judging research and study. Otherwise you and I will see each other in camps sooner than later. Many of my people suffered under the Nazis.
@@abecker930the comparison to animals was an analogy. animals raise their young without any expectations in return. they operate purely on instinct, to increase the odds that their young survive infancy to ensure the survival of the species. You missed the point of the comment you replied to. Children don't owe parents for raising them, and parents aren't owed contact by their adult children. I don't raise my kids with any expectations from them in return. I brought them into this world, so it is my duty to raise them so they can survive in the world. Animals do this by instinct, humans out of moral duty.
GenX parents that are nice and respectful to their kids do not get ditched. Screw this Diane lady. She's angry that she couldn't control herself and be a good mom.
I say that all the time when EP's screech, "My child just wants to control me!" Me - "Nope. We want you to learn to control yourselves like healthy, 'normal', pro-social people."
As an estranged Boomer daughter, the biggest mistake I see parents make in this situation is immediately going to social media to make their case instead of seeking counsel from a family therapist. That shows me that you don’t care about reconciliation, you just care about being perceived as being a victim. I put up with some pretty heavy daily abuse for 45 years before I finally grew a spine a set some boundaries. That’s all I did. My mother responded by cutting me off but told everyone that would listen that it was the other way around. She’s struggled with mental health her whole life but refuses to deal with it. As a result all four of her children and her only grandchild deal with mental health struggles as well. Some people just can’t self reflect, it would kill them.
I'm not a mental health professional but watching Diane's videos I feel like she really truly needs to see a therapist. I can see why her daughter went no contact. My narc mother can be like this, she's always innocent when the topic of her abusive parenting comes up and she will talk about everything in the world except the actual issue. And then act as though she was talking about the issue the whole time and anyone who tells her the truth is the problem. And no matter what generation you are, cutting off a parent is never easy and is 9 times out of 10 about self-protection and healing.
She's now the "National Poster Child" for how these Malignant Narcissists are not only indifferent but also impervious to any and all outside influences guaranteeing the success of their mission. Like dedicated Kamikaze Pilots they cannot and will not be deterred from their duty of destruction. Even identified confirmed and confronted with being fully recognized for what they are and what they do they continue on. With their last breath they will continue on. I've seen them do it.
The changing poltical and cultural ideology in society had nothing to do with why her daughter went no contact. Diane is desperately grasping for straws to avoid accountability for her own behavior.
I’m Gen X and I cut my dad off for not taking accountability, lying about having cancer, not apologizing and gaslighting me! I think a lot of us are waking up and no longer okay with being treated like garbage! I hope her daughter is okay! We can all see how gaslighty her mom is and her refusal to take accountability!
Sounds like you're well shot of your dad. Sorry that happened to you but be assured you were in the right. All kids deserve parents not all parents deserve kids.
I’ve followed this discussion about Diane on a few channels. She certainly has stirred up a lot of feelings, mostly negative due to her demeanor. Your videos popped up and I have to tell you, you have the absolute best narrating voice! You could be hired for voiceovers or narrating audiobooks!! Truly. I always love your insight and points of view on Diane. Great job with your video and your channel should have WAY more followers!!!
You make a great point, she’s in no position to give anyone parenting advice. I’m so glad the Internet didn’t exist when my psycho mother was stalking me to the point that I was granted a Restraining Order. Poor Haley. Imagine having an army of trolls coming after you because of this horrible woman who lacks all insight. At least I was spared that. This woman is only an expert at one thing -manipulation.
Just found your channel today and love hearing your thoughts! Thank you for sharing your reflections and reactions - you have such a reasoned, considered, calm approach. Looking forward to the next one & have a great day!
My #1 reason for going no contact with my mother was childhood abuse that she would never acknowledge. We could never have a real conversation about the things that happened because she would never admit to any abuse. She denied everything. When she died of cancer at 75 yrs old, she hadn't changed. She never admitted to anything that happened. Never. That's why I went no contact. She also was continually abusive during my life.
At a certain age all fledglings head out. It is what is supposed to happen. This child realized that upon seeing the open skies (open minds) that she had been caged by her narcissist parent(s?). Good luck to her and may she fly freely and high.
More than kinda. And the fact that this is her fourth (if I remember correctly) channel that she has tried to monetize makes it seem like she is opportunistically using her estrangement. Which feeds back into that whole “narcissistic “ thing people have been wondering about…
I’m really loving your videos and I appreciate you watching her videos for us. I can’t understand why instead of apologising and accepting her part in her daughter’s trauma she went to much more effort to find another way to show her disapproval to her daughter. I just went no contact with my mum on my 51st birthday and my mum was upset because it was also her birthday. Big surprise, we don’t share a birthday. So, the birthday part in the video, triggered me. These people are like peas in a pod. She talks about a breakdown in society but there is now community available for everybody including herself. She blames a lot of things including younger generations and TikTok but she could learn so much from both of them
One of the things I love about life today is the ability to find community! Younger people are finding it in ways I never could when I was young. It's brilliant.
I can just imagine her a hundred years ago, raving on her front porch about how jazz, liquor and short skirts are eroding society. It’s always some ominous social issue instead of “am I an @sshole?”
I'm sure if an estranged millenial is asked, they will speak up. The daughter informed the mom several times and in different ways. Problem is mom isn't listening. She needs to stop focusing on getting answers from outside and look from within.
My child owes me nothing. Being a parent was MY choice and because I chose that, I owe my child the best I can give - THE end. What do I get out of it? Seeing my child healthy and at peace, and being a productive member of society.❤ No one owes me anything. Take care of yourself and love others. period. (Sometimes we do need help, especially as we age, but being entitled about it? HELLA NO.)
Incredibly twisty knots Diane weaves in order to shift the blame from herself. What a nightmare mom she must’ve been! Enjoyed your take on this difficult situation… new subscriber here from 🇨🇦
Wow. Thanks for giving all the background, Snaruh. I appreciate the insights I am a semi-estranged mom who appreciates my daughter's advice that I work on myself. Banned from Facebook group You Are Not Alone for Estranged Parents when I posted Diane's first video as a what not to do tool
watched a *lot* of coverage on diane's videos & *really* appreciate your take, i can't believe you have so few subs but imagine i'm just one of many new ones this video will bring you!
Speaking from the basis of my experience, I have absolutely no doubt this woman fully knows what she did. The issue is that she will not stand for the suggestion that she doesn't have every right to dominate, control and terrorize her, nor for the fact that the daughter has every right to put her at distance. So here she js trying to round up a mob of strangers through social media to do her bullying for her. I also feel pretty confident the goal, at this point, is much more about spitefully punishing the daughter for daring to go against her, than it is about any real expectation of forcing her back into compliance.
The victimhood is so strong even in the big red sign other her face, indicating a status of being denied existence, being forbidden. In no way do I want to invalidate the pain of being estranged, but she is turning her experience, herself, into a brand or fetish of victimhood. A dangerous game.
These parents do the impossible to destroy the relationship they have with their kids and then claim to be good parents, have good intentions and deserve the respect they don't give.
"These parents do the impossible to destroy the relationship they have with their kids" This is great language. They really contradict nature itself, wild.
If there is a conspiracy to break up the nuclear family, then how does it even apply to her situation? Her daughter is 30. She is an adult who could have her own family. She does not need to live with mom and dad in a permanent nuclear family unit.
I told my adult children that if they ever need to go NC from me, I will regard it as part of their growth and will cheer them on, and would also be sad. I trust they have good judgment about their own needs.
Diane's videos only serve Diane and any solidarity she is getting is from like minded estranged parents. The incapability of becoming introspective and blame shifting just shows her grandiose delusions; she seems absolutely insufferable. Diane also does not share the letter that her daughter wrote to her and has formed her own story about what it said which shows that Diane is not being transparent with her own narrative. I'd wager that her daughter tried numerous times to have a conversation and was dismissed or shut down. I'm not surprised and nor should she be that her daughter cut contact so deeply and permanently. Parents make mistakes but that isn't a viable excuse for not wanting to better your relationship with your children.
My estranged mother has used other people to try to contact me sought out my number from relatives and used it to get me alerted for things that have to do with her, multiple fake dying scares (not even sick just lying to get me to possibly reach out or come to visit her) it’s been three years and I’m so glad to have her out of my life I can imagine how embarrassing having this lady as a mother would be
So sad and just think what goes around comes back ! So when you are older unstable sick etc you will suffer . Only you can change it by being empathic and forgive your mother . You clearly are part of the communal narcissist revolution.
Hahahaha just apologize, have some humility, get some therapy, and perhaps you’d find a road back to your daughter. The “fourth turning” has NOTHING to do with why your daughter no longer speaks to you. Get real, lady.
God bless the therapist and professionals who showed compassion and cared for her daughter, helping her see how important her life is and how valued others find her. This woman will go on being a vapid and emotionally bereft individual who blames the world for her actions.
No child, unless mental illness is involved, will become estranged from their parents unless they feel their emotional survival is at risk. All the theories about entitledment, society, generation ect go out the window when you are talking about such a primary relationship such as parent and child. For a child to feel that their only option is to go no contact, must be a devastating choice and one that is rooted in survival, not being a brat. And how frightening it must be to finally make that choice but to choose courage over fear! I hope her daughter goes completely underground on Tiktok. New name. So her parents can no longer follow her.
It is kind of funny how she views the relationship with her daughter through the lens of power. If we think through her arguments at the most basic level, she is saying that government policy erodes family values by making it more difficult for parents to exert social or financial pressure on their children. But she never asks why the dynamic between a parent and a child has to be one of obligation and coercion, instead of love and community.
Wow. Her daughter cuts her off for good reason, and she figures out - once again - how to ignore the real problem and blame it on the collapse of society? Just one more way she avoids looking at herself or gaining any fresh insights at all. Unreal.
Mom’s telling on herself and every video she makes puts her deeper in the hole. We can see her all too terrifyingly clear. I bet her daughter tried as hard as she could for years longer than most of us would have.
The thing that put me off most was when she said her channel wasn't for adult estranged children. Why would you say that? Ignoring that demographic, why would you say that to an audience of mostly estranged parents? If I started a channel with this content as an estranged adult child, I would actively hope to have estranged parents and children talking in my comments and taking some perspective from each other to use in their own personal life reconciliation. Why would she say something so isolating and self-defeating to so many parents who would likely be seeking advice about how to reconcile with their children? She seems like the divisive one to me.
Any time someone blames society for a solvable problem, they show they're not interested in helping with the solution. If it's "society's" fault, then there's nothing that can be done. I don't care if someone feels that way but they should keep it to themselves, because when they spread that message it doesn't just spread laziness. As Margaret Atwood put it, when you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing.
Does this lady ever look inward? To understand, acknowledge or own up to what SHE did to result in an estranged daughter? What grinds my gears is that this lady is now monetizing this (via a subscription), all of a sudden she is an “expert” to advise others😳 what a smack in the face to her daughter 🤦♀️This lady has NO self awareness
Every time I see this mother I want to cringe. She reminds me of my own horribly abusive mother that I will never talk to again. That is as kind as I. can be and she acts like she enjoys taunting her daughter In my opinion this woman is getting all of the negative judgement due to her own arrogance! I don't blame her daughter and can totally relate to the daughter!
That Diane said children “had an obligation to those who had raised them,” says it all …. about Diane. No they don’t. Children are not obligated to you, especially if you mentally mind effed them their entire lives as a dependent! Children come through you, they’re not of you.Offspring are not obligated to honor dishonorable parents.
This is not a trend. I am Gen X and the generations behind me are NOT going to quiet about anything and I am here for it. I used to talk about what my family, parents, society did and I was completely ignored. Social media has changed all that, especially for women who have a platform now. Her smugness (only word I can think of for her attitude) is shining brightly! Oh and I don't believe in generational thinking. It's all a matter of choice. She does NOT speak for me. She acts more like a boomer though. She speaks the same way my mother did, who I was estranged from. I was ABUSED. I am not going to go and let someone stay in my life that does not have my best self and interest 100% at their heart. I am not decayed in anyway. I am honest and I will call you out on your BS every time.
This woman is so delusional. She’ll do virtually anything and everything to not be accountable. She never tells her audience what she did to drive her daughter away.
"She never tells her audience what she did to drive her daughter away." Because she knows exactly what she's done (via the email the daughter sent her) would make her look bad. It's like abusers in general, if they really don't think that they've done anything wrong, they wouldn't do it behind closed doors when no-one's watching. Same thing here - If she really believes that she is so innocent, then she wouldn't have anything to hide by revealing the full story of why the daughter cut her off. Only guilty people have something to hide.
@@photocath So it's okay for our parents to blame us for their bad behavior and their subsequent estrangement but we're not allowed to blame them for their abuse or the decision to end contact with them because of it?
@@ellyk8834 That is not at all what I am saying. Abuse is a two way pattern. It would be good if both parties could just talk to each other. Commmunication without blame. But maybe that is just too much to ask. If my children can blame me for abuse, I should be able to tell them that I did wrong and want to make it right, this is just an example. And not everything is possible to repent too. It's the blame game that can be very toxic. There are abusive parents but there are also difficult kids. And a difficult kid does not call for abusive parenting. I feel like it's making it hard to be in a thread like this because there seems to be no grey. It's all black and white. Tiresome.
I agree. I feel like estrangement is a slow burn, a slow pulling away over time? No contact is more abrupt, in my opinion but I can see how some people see these things as one in the same. 😊
I think functionally, there isn’t a lot of distinction, and I also think that going no contact often includes some preliminary estrangement, but I appreciate people who make an effort to use precise language.
EAC’s roving the internet looking for a target? Many people that are not agreeing with her offered valid points that she just can’t seem to allow space for. She comes across as condescending when she accuses millennials of wanting universal income.
suspect *she* posted her video in the subreddit she called out knowing it'd stir up controversy & likely increase its reach for potential recruits for her paid offerings
Right. Also wanted to point out that it wasn't just EACs; other estranged parents also attempted to point out how her methods will not lead to reconciliation with her daughter and called out her politics
@@ptlovelight2971 the way she uses EAC as an insult and tries to make negative connotations about them as a group just shows a complete unwillingness to be humble. A lot of estranged adults have endured terrible abuse and have healed enough to just say no to toxic behaviour from family. It’s literally all about her and how she is wonderful and everyone else is just mean. I’m a Gen xer as well and she seems to insist that estrangement is more unique to millennials. Estrangement happens in all generations for a variety of serious reasons like abuse, which she hasn’t addressed. Seems sus she blames so many external factors except abuse.
This lady reminds me of that scene in Repo Men. Duke : The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am. Otto : That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me. Duke : Yeah, but it still hurts.
When narcissists say the want open communication they often want you to explain yourself over and over again so they can focus on smal tangents you go on while talkig too avoide taking responsibility.
Stop ! You have not walked in anybody shoes. Your basically stating that all estranged parents are clearly abusive? It's not a black and white issue. We are dealing with millions of people across the world. Yes it's effecting parents worldwide. Each famiiy has different problems. Some adult children are on drugs etc. Then there is a communal world wide group of narcissistic people. They enjoy destroying families relationships etc.
Dianne is not the person to speak on behalf of estranged parents. Or about the phenomenon. Or to lead a group of estranged parents. She is making it worse.
OOOOMYYYYGOD. "Who wouldn't want a Universal Basic Income so that, you know, you can sit around and make TikToks and play games all day". Not sure if I am being "oversensitive" as my mother (who I am stranged with) would say, but does anyone else feels that it is a direct reference to her daughter - who apparently has a large following on TikTok? It feels that she still wants to lecture her child about how she is contributing to the demise of western society. I swear she sounds just like my mother. Of course, being on UBI to make Tiktoks all day is BAD. As opposed to making youtubies all day to create a "business" out of people who are as deluded as you. That is GOOD. Thanks for breaking down the videos, I am indeed interested to hear what she says but don't want to give her the views.
That woman takes full advantage of the society's standard that family is extremely important but she twists it - family is indeed important but it doesn't by default excuse inadequate and poor parenting for the sake of appearances in social circles. It's such a manipulative tactic the way she ascribes inadequate parenting, childhood adversity and trauma as just a simple case of "generational differences", it's such an easy way out of accountability because generational differences do indeed exist so people might nod and agree but she twists that to her advantage, but estrangement is usually much deeper than that. She also takes advantage of the audience only hearing her side, not her daughter's, but you did a great job breaking it down at the end and labeling her preaching as it should be labeled.
American individualism is so hypocritical. It’s not true individualism. It’s utterly adolescent. It’s, “I’M allowed to be individualistic, but everyone else has to be collectivistic in order to satisfy my needs.” And Dianne demonstrates that so well. SHE doesn’t have to be collectivistic. She can complain about helping low-income people, taking precautions during a pandemic to NOT infect her fellow humans, understanding the struggles of marginalized people and how various systemic hegemonies play into them and of course, act flippant about her daughter’s emotional needs. But when it comes to her daughter not accepting her abuse and the internet practicing freedom of speech and criticizing her however they see fit? No, now, it’s, “Kumbaya! Let’s be collectivistic again! Let’s honor social contracts that don’t even exist! Let’s suppress our feelings so that abusers can keep being abusive!”
She reminds me if that 'Vegan Teacher' woman. Despite the tears, she comes across as absolutely word perfect and 100% confident. Anyone who thinks they are this right is almost certainly not😂
'I can't be wrong, because all the people who have subscribed to my UA-cam echo chamber agree with me. Anyone who posts something contrary or challenging will get a dose of my saccharine yet withering contempt'.
Great video - a calm, dispassionate review of Diane’s estrangement video and tortured political justifications for her personal issues. I cringe every time someone uses the word “woke” to describe someone or something they don’t like. It’s an abusive term meant to diminish and discredit.
She acts like there are no reason's behind these estrangements. My step-grandmother treated my mother horribly growing up, but was nice to me because she unfortunately took that nausea medication that rendered almost all of the children infertile. Somehow, my stepgrandmother and my biograndfather managed to have an sweet, kickass daugher, and I love my aunt to pieces. This woman would talk shit about my dad in front of me, though I was too little to understand. I could always feel that my mom was on edge around her.My grandfather was sick with cancer most of my llife, and passed away when I was around 10. She was markedly worse after thatl The coup de grâce came at my great grandmother's funeral. She was one of 8 siblings, and she had 9 children. This was in a very small town in Louisiana, so there wasn't enough room in the church. In the pamphlet, I was listed as one of 176 great grandchildren.She started with the soft crying, and then somehow became enraged,, yelling that nobody had given her enough attention after my grandfather died, that nobody loved or paid enough attention to her daughter (everyone did, and loved her so much). She was attempting to swing to grief towards. I was talking with one of my great aunts, who stood up, told her to get out and never come back. Soon after, that stepgrandmother called my mom to try to blame everything on her. After that, she was dead to me. Didn't exist.
"She acts like there are no reason's behind these estrangements." -- that is a common theme isn't it. Of course there are reasons. No one does anything without reasons. There are so many disconnects with dysfunctional parents and they *refuse* to see them or the wrong path conclusions they derive as a result which just compounds their problems. The 'left loving family for no reason' myth is silly at its core. Rejecting healthy love is not normal. So is there something wrong with the child that they must reject the good OR is it a case of the parent mislabeling their behavior as normal/healthy love when reality is, it's dysfunction and/or abuse. Now clearly *they* were a good parent because they said so with the disconnect being - only your child/ren get to decide how good your parenting was. So they decide their child rejected a good parent when the reality is, their child rejected an abuser parent. I call it their 2 + 2 = 5 math with Flat Earth mentality. EP --- "The problem is you just don't understand your parent's math and if you would just accept the Flat Earth view we have then everything would be fine. Why can't you see you are the problem?" Me - "Because I can do basic math and know the Earth is round."
I'm an older Gen X who went no contact with a majority of my family a few decades ago, before it was remotely socially acceptable. I understand why her daughter went no contact with her. She created a UA-cam channel to invalidate her daughter's feelings and would rather blame societal issues as opposed to holding up a mirror. She is smug, cavalier and she creeps me out.
She gives me the creeps too. I'm about her age but I would never want to befriend her as a peer. Nope.
💯 she is pathetic in her manipulation
I’m also “older gen x”. I do not claim this woman. 😂 She sounds anti-personal responsibility for herself, but expects her kid to take on ALL the responsibility - personal and otherwise.
Oh my gosh! The way she smiles when she's angry! Ugh.
Same. I did it before it was cool. And also wrote about how you do not have to put up with shitty family members. We are trend setters!!! 😊 (But as genexers, we already knew that).
My mother sent me a letter telling me I wasn't up to the family standards & she never wanted to see me again. Our son was 6 weeks old & my husband had just opened his own practice, translation- 'You think you are clever! I will kick you while you are most vulnerable'. I showed my brother the letter , he looked at me and said, "It's your get out of jail free card". He was right. It's been 22 peaceful years since I went no contact from that moment. As an 80 year old now she still tells people how how much she suffers because of the estrangement but fails to mention the letter or that she has made no effort during these years to address the situation. She is happier with the victim status & the narc supply.
Excellent analysis and video. Thank you so much.
I hope you kept that letter, your brother was right and very clever. Show it to people who sympathize with your dreadful excuse of a mother. Sorry..this is why I do not like mothers day. I had a nice one and my kids were good to me, but so many weren't. It's a bad holiday. Same as absent father's day.
This reminds me of my mom. When I brought my son home from the hospital, he wasn't well and I called her crying and asking her to bring me formula for him because he wouldn't latch. She flew into my apartment with the stuff I asked for and yelled at me about how selfish I am! It was one of the rare times I rendered her speechless. She said "This isn't about you!" And I said "No mom. It isn't about YOU."
I'm so happy you got your get out of jail free card. I just got something like it too. There comes a time where a person would rather be one of the narc's stories than have to sit through another one! 😅
I’m 65 which makes me a late boomer. The increasing rates of estranging parents has to do with changes in society. There was a time that becoming an estranged from your parents was an unforgivable sin in the eyes of society. No matter what your parents did or how they behaved you should never walk away which gave them the power to behave as they wanted because there really was nothing you could do. Diane’s channel is filled with comments from people my age explaining to her that estrangement has nothing to do with being young or politics. It has everything to do with the awareness that it is not OK to treat your children badly either physically or mentally and that they have every right to walk away. But of course she will not listen to any of that. I suspect her politics and dogmatic views were a factor in her daughter going no contact. I did not go no contact with my own abusive mother, but I did create many boundaries which made my life much better. My only regret was not understanding earlier what she was, and why.
Communism is an issue I've studied for years. The goal is to abolish all families. I challenge those who disagree to research the subject first.
@@abecker930 If you have studied it for years, I think you would know how to spell it.
@ArtfullyMusingLaura
You are threatened by my intelligence. Look up how to spell communism. Read the communist manifesto. Learn everything you can about the history of communism. I'd hurry because eventually, you will not be able to look it up online. The books will be banned too. They need everyone to act like you . That means ignorant only educated enough to do the job. Programmed to not think critically about anything. Perfect little comrades that will turn in their neighbor's family etc over to theGestapo .
@@abecker930 Why did you delete your original post with the misspelling?
Thank you, this is validating to hear.
lol "my daughter won't talk to me, surely it is the End of Days, that's the only explanation!" Mkay Diane.
I know, it's so obviously stupid to everyone but herself. She ties herself in knots rather than just take responsibility.
😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
she takes noble things like family and religion and twists it to fit her agenda and her blame shifting...
Actually if you look around America is heading towards the end. Once commuism completes it's cycle we will be a 3rd world country. However you can stop it by waking up.
Any one with a mother like her can see the crazy in her eyes. I wouldn't trust her in a room with a dead cat.
Her smile and preschool-teacher-voice barely shellacked over the seething rage we can all feel. It’s naturally just terrifying to a healthy person.
😂
My father had a slightly different but very similar look in his eyes. It's the look a bully will give you when they're obviously pretending to be nice and their real agenda is to hurt you. If a stranger gave me that look I'd run fast.
@@elisabethhughes6005 Oh my gosh! Absolutely spot on!
And sadly she has a cat 😢
As an experienced target of a family narcissist , the tone of her voice, her crazy eyes and haircut tells me all I need to know about why her daughter went no contact.
her hair looks like shit.
Thank you for an insightful video. I'm mid-Gen X and I work at a university, so I interact with a lot of Millennials and Gen Z people - they are just people. I don't see any of the "trends" she alludes to. They have their own personalities and goals - I do think many of them are much more socially responsible than my generation, however. I enjoy them. I'm also an estranged child - I cut ties with my father many years ago due to his abusive behaviour and have never regretted it. I had no choice about being around him growing up, but I had a choice as an adult and I used it. I see it as self-care.
I hear ya! Also Gen X. I think we tended to wait much longer to cut ties with toxic parents than Millennials and Gen Z. Although why we waited longer is anyone's guess. Maybe as latchkey kids we just hoped things would get better.
I decided to go back to college in my "old age" - started in my 40's and ended in my 50's. I graduated from UCLA just before the pandemic. I had so much fun getting to know tons of young people. They're just people, like you said. They have dreams and goals, and they work very hard. We all got along beautifully. I have no idea why people my age are always putting down younger generations like they're horrible and "entitled." That's not what I see at all.
@@lr9559 same here
@@sharimeline3077 they take their university career so much more seriously than I took mine! And often they are much more considerate and compassionate
It is self care, well said
Her comment about "so you can sit around and make tik toks all day" was one passive agressive attack on her daughter... no wonder she went no contact
The entire thing is her attacking and shaming her daughter. May her daughter find peace.
@@Tillunas DaughterS. One is estranged, the other went to a monastery to get away from her. That doesn't just say something about Diane, it screams it.
Dianne made a very good video. She illustrates practically every move from the Narcissist's Playbook. Thanks Dianne!
As a young Gen X who went NC almost 2 decades ago, I think one factor in recent "trend" is that before social media and people being open about it, many of us were shamed by most of the people in our lives and society as a whole if they knew we were no contact. This conversation is long over due. Hopefully for every Diane, there is a parent who is willing to listen to their child and go to therapy.
Therapy will not help narcissists. Just gives smart ones the understanding of how to manipulate more effectively.
To think that Diane's videos are being held up as a narcs case study kinda makes me smile 😂
It's too bad the channel 'Pondering Life' is gone. The case study comparison of the two - complete with slack-jawed dudsbands - would have been epic.
I don't think I've seen that channel yet, do you think it's possible that someone did a commentary on that channel like the one we have here?
it's so great that she decided to do this for that reason. so many people are like her and it's very hard for those who deal with these people to express what is happening.... so many boomers and Gen x are like this and we are done.
@@wmd40 As a Gen Xer myself, I'm ashamed to even consider she's in our generation.
I am a boomer with two amazing gen Z adult children. The way I see it, they spent decades learning about the ways of the world from me and their dad. Now, my husband and I sometimes need to make sense of the times we live in, and we ask them questions and listen to their viewpoints. We enjoy talking together and learning from each other. I sense that Diane might have been lacking this give-and-take with communication with her adult child. No one is a perfect parent, but really listening and trying to understand your child goes a long way.
Wait what? I’m a mid Gen X and have 2 millennials and 1 Gen Z kid. You must be a 1962 boomer?
@@ALT-vz3jn Close, ‘61. Some of my best friends are Gen X.
Wow, this lady really found a way to absolutely never take responsibility for the estrangement.
I would say, if the cause for the falling of society is that we have created enough social and economic support for people be able to escape abuse and mistreatment from parents, then let it burn! 😂
If we look at family structures from generations before us, many many people couldn't afford (emotionally or financially) to leave these familial ties or protect themselves. There also wasn't the awareness about mental illness, mistreatment, abuse and healthy boundaries. Many of us have worked so hard to teach our children to have healthy psyches, and they are spreading the word that respect and love is a standard people deserve. Were all families crap? No, but for the ones that were, more people put up with it back then.
Probably she forgot to blame people from Mars too, anything to blame but her.
It’s fascinating to watch. I want to get along and understand people but-here is Diane showing us all that some people will never even try.
Your not saved are you? 😢
@@abecker930 What does that have to do with anything here?
As an older Gen X who went no contact with my own family about 12 years ago, I have to say this Diane woman reminds me so much of my own mother - always playing the victim and won't take any responsibility for her own actions that led to estrangement. I bet $100 this Diane is posting these videos in hopes that her daughter will see them and feel guilty and to garner sympathy from the public - both of which are feeding her narc needs. The reason adult children go no contact with parents and family is largely due to abuse, not because of any society changes. Abusive parents rarely admit their fault and it's clear that in Diane's case, she's not the least bit interested in taking a look in the mirror and fixing anything within her own self.
absolutely! And when you know her daughter posts tiktok, then you know her coment about sitting around all day and only making tik toks- was directed at her daughter...
Or Diane might be posting this to get social pressure on the daughter: all the family and their friends will see this and be talking to her daughter about what’s so wrong with Diane? “You only have one mom….. when she dies you will miss her…”
Younger Boomer here. Same mother story.
“I’m not that political but…. I’ll sure cite the latest conservative conspiratorial talking points, all the while taking no personal responsibility…” 😂 🕵🏻♂️ 🙀
Her: We are all Americans, at least those of us who came here legally. (A political side note that is completely irrelevant to the point she was making 🙃)
Yeah, it's big-time cringe, isn't it.
Thank you my gosh, it’s unbelievable how she is tap dancing and digging into this freaky ass book instead of simply .. LISTENING to her own daughter.
She’s clearly a low-cognitive level Trump supporter. Not the type of person to acknowledge the role they played and their responsibility in the estrangement.
I am extremely politically conservative, but it has no effect on my relationship with my adult offspring. She is a self absorbed person. And personally I think she is using the idea of political affiliation to try to draw in customers. She grabs onto ideas of others to attempt to make herself sound more intelligent. Our country and world face tremendous challenges, and only a fool would deny that. But even during the Great Depression families were not destroyed by outside forces. In her first video there is a section where she is videotaped with her daughter as a toddler. It is very uncomfortable for me to watch. She is acting for the camera, not connecting with her baby. The little girl seems so uncomfortable. I didn’t fully appreciate it the first time I watched it, but she is acting at being a loving mom. I personally have no use for labels like Boomer, Gen X , Millennials and so forth, we are people. We have more in common with each other than that which separates us.
Her daughter probably asked her to knock before coming in the bathroom since there is no lock. "That's a symptom of societal collapse!" Ok, mom. 😅
Thanks for your perspective. Diane goes to great lengths to avoid the conclusion that she’s angry she can’t control her adult child anymore, blaming it all on outside factors and some sort of inherent weakness in her daughter. I for one am GLAD that we no longer have to put up with parental abuse, and that we have more choices around support and information on that. Validation too, it can be a very isolating position to be in as the adult child choosing no contact - particularly if the parent has groomed the community into believing how righteous they are and how wicked the NC child is. It’s the same pattern of abuse and community elective blindness to their part in the abuse as complicit bystanders. Diane is trying to whip up an online community where she can get her narcissistic supply, and abuse her daughter by proxy. I feel so sorry for the daughter, and applaud her for being the one to step aside and break the miserable chain of abuse. Diane, we can all see what you cannot see or are refusing to 🤷♀️
I had an EP tell me "I have worked with estranged families for ten years, and what I have found is that third parties have been involved in every estranged family I have worked with." and counsels "it would not be wise to reconcile until they see some obvious recognition in their adult child that they have been influenced by the worldwide cult of adult child estrangement." because that is far more probable to her then people estranging from dysfunctional/abusive families. That's the mentality at play.
I watched her very first video, and as soon as she said she couldn't even consider an amends letter because it requires way too much contrition from the parents?
Some parents want to be right. They do not really want to be in relationship.
Diane is more invested in being right.
@@ellyk8834Yikes. That EP. I mean, duh!
One of the least healthy traits of dysfunctional families is triangulation. I hardly think that the third leg of the triangle is a cult of adult estrangement. It's usually another person in the family. And sometimes that third person has been dead for a while.
But it's much easier to outsource responsibility to a nameless, faceless other. Good Lord.
This woman will go to the ends of the earth to not be responsible for her daughter going no-contact. If she spent a fraction of the time she spends justifying herself in trying to truly empathize with her daughter, she might be able to get her relationship back.
She just needs to let her go. She is an adult. I don't get her hysteria. 🤷😄
Exactly, it's like there's no genuine heart behind her actions, it's all just some crazy campaign covering every thought EXCEPT what she should actually do. Like if you love your daughter dial direct & just SAY the truth. Apologize. Tell her you want to try to make it right. Why all this other crazy nonsense in front of the world? I really feel for her daughter. Total strangers feel more love, compassion & respect for her daughter than she does & it's just bizarre.
This isn’t about the daughter. It’s about this woman’s lack of Identity and instead of doing the work to discover who she is *now* she’s metaphorically drowned her daughter in a frantic effort to hang on to her “Mommy Dearest” Identity. If a patient in my practice showed me this I would absolutely support their decision to sever ties. *Mommy Dearest needs to get a life of her OWN.* What a pathetic attempt to rationalize, justify, defend, explain, divert and distract from the *real problem* here: Mommy Dearest and her profound sense of entitlement.
Perhaps Diane does not actually care that her daughter is not speaking to her, just how she looks to everyone else. Women are judged based on their relationships. A woman is looked down on if their children do not speak to them or have anything to do with them. People feel that they are terrible human beings whether it is true or not.
😂 what I was thinking. She'll read this bs book but she wouldn't read the book from the other video. Sorry Diane 😂
I saw Diane’s video. I have so much empathy for her estranged daughter.
Another channel I saw after yours, had a bunch of good comments.
One spoke about how this is just a huge smear campaign after her daughter left, and no wonder the daughter left, if this is the type of BS she had to deal with.
Just imagine finding videos on YT of your mother playing the victim after years of abusing you?
Other comments spoke about how she never once spoke about her daughter's feelings, etc etc. Selfish, Entitled, Narcissist. Both parents.
Best of all, one comment spoke about how she's playing the victim and getting her supply from these other narcissistic/selfish parents, while also charging them $200 a month or w/e for membership.
It really makes you feel for her daughter and how distressing it must be for her
Makes you wonder if reconciliation is really what she's after...
It is absolutely a smear campaign against the daughter, on a huge scale. It makes me sick, and I feel so sorry for her daughter.
She also said she was surprised when her daughter answered...she didn't say pleased, she said surprised.
I hope her daughter is comforted by the amount of support for her in the comments. Most people weren’t deceived by Diane.
I was a legal adult long before the internet. However I was an immature mess of a legal young adult, isolated, parentified, abused. It took me years and years and I'll always be part abused child. Had internet information been around when I was young, I may have gone NC. I think life would have better. Even when young, I remember thinking 'I should have ran the day I turned 18.' But I was too beaten down to know I could do that. I had zero resiliency growing up also.
The average estrangement is only 4.5 years? The last time I saw or spoke to my mother, she was younger than I am now. UA-cam did not exist yet. That's a LONG time ago.
Diane used her husband’s covid infection as an excuse to contact her daughter. I find this so fascinating because she then calls covid a conspiracy.
She’ll bend her own rules for the win. I wonder what the crushing manipulation was like for the daughter all of those years.
@@elisabethhughes6005 I don’t have to wonder! Diane drew me in because she’s basically my mom, thankfully I was spared the Trump political discourse and my mom didn’t pretend to be of a younger generation! The guilt/shame/manipulation/judgement/jealousy/vindictiveness/neglect/gaslighting is the same. Maybe it’s because they were both raised catholic they are so similar.
Diane:
No wonder your daughter bailed.
And, your children don't owe you contact.
If you think your daughter does, there's another reason you're not getting it from her.
Diane pisses me off too much
She is so difficult to watch
What makes it worse for me is she even looks like my estranged mother.
She gives me the creeps. Horrible manipulative narcissism and self-victimization hiding behind a very thin veneer of ‘love’, empty eyes and a rictus grin. My mother is the same.
That's the feeling to look out for. The ick. Difficult to put your finger on but somehow you know something is very, very wrong
@@CB19087 just found your reply. So true. Always trust your gut
Diane is looking outside of herself to find someone to blame for her daughter's decision.
I find it really interesting how she mentions "familial obligations" at one point. I would love to ask Diane what specific obligations she believes her daughter has to her...
If you want to really stump a Lady Di of the world ask her what "familial obligations" she has to Haley or her other daughter. The idea that she (as the parent) might have obligations to her children is going to draw a blank look because the honest answer is "None." This will be followed by anger because nothing says, "I'm an abusive parent." like thinking you have no obligations to your child. And that tracks with their mentality, "I don't even feel obligated to not abuse you."
That’s why Diane’s logic is hypocritical. She’s not trying to understand she’s too busy being right.
Well, I'm pretty sure i couldn't be around this woman five minutes..so i can actually see why her daughter wants to get away from her ..good for her daughter
But she saved her daughter from choking on a wrapper once!
And she remembers her birthdays!
Diane is an exact copy of one of my siblings. NOTHING is her fault! It’s society! Poor thing.
And if everyone was perfect like her there'd be no problems in the world. I have a sibling like yours too.
diane rly said "i want my daughter to not be able to live alone and pay her own bills. i want her to struggle so hard that she comes back and then i have acess to her again. just wow!
Before anything else I'd like to recall attention to the first video where she says the rift was based mainly on politics, and connect that to her reference here as to how Gen X was invested in the qualities that "made America great". I think that choice of words is pretty indicative, just saying. Now: I'm Gen X (1974). My kids haven't cut me off; the youngest just turned 25. One is a radio DJ, the other a professional musician. These were career tracks that I fretted over with concerns about pay and stability. I worried they'd get their sensitive artistic hearts broken by a callous industry. So I responded by making damn sure they were aware of and ready to take on the challenges. I skipped Starbucks and worked OT to save a financial cushion. I also kept my anxieties to myself, because rockets need high-test fuel to blast off, not extra weight. My kids visit me as often as they can. They call and text me several times a week to share their adventures, and they never hear a word of criticism. That is because _this_ Gen Xer values the idea of everyone being heard and responded to in an age appropriate manner, everyone being honest and not bottling up until they explode, everyone being safe to show who they are in each moment whether it's a showing a shortcoming or or a strength, and most importantly, everyone being loved UNCONDITIONALLY, which is something she has admitted she struggles with personally. I am not saying we always agreed and never struggled. We are not the Brady Bunch, but my children always knew that when it came down to brass tacks, their choices and autonomy would be respected and I'd be both their heavy artillery and soft landing spot, hell or high water. Diane's daughter didn't cut her off because of a generation gap. Diane lost her daughter because she's a disrespectful, holier-than-thou, sneering perfectionist who views her child as a defective self-reflective object rather that a young human being with the innate right to self-direction, which includes the right to make every mistake in the book on the way to maturity without the burden of propping up her parent's frail ego.
You sound like a great mom and your kids sound like they are pretty great, too. Good job.
She keeps mentioning people "feeling no obligation to those who raised them" as a negative impact of XYZ, as if people have an obligation to those who raised them in the first place.
You shouldn't want your children to "feel an obligation to you from you raising them" and that's such an entitled view.
It is YOUR job to raise your children, including children you take on as your own.
Your children do not owe you in return for you making an active choice to take on that responsibility. They don't owe you for you doing the bare minimum of what you're supposed to do, of what even many ANIMALS do without somehow feeling entitled to anything in return
I really enjoyed reading your reply. I loved how you compared humans to animals. That was a sign that your very uneducated. Estrangement happens everyday to millions of parents across the world. An for many reasons and abuse is not always a factor. Without actually knowing this lady and her daughter were all just assuming. An id be very careful because this happens to democrats liberals and conservatives. An its not just in America.. I suggest everyone here study . Then maybe your replies wouldn't be so narrow minded .
Facts did you know that 1 in 6 people in America are estranged from a family member? So now are they all crazy? Are they all narcissists? Literally, only 6% of the population has npd. Everyone of us has narcissistic tendencies. Healthy people are a little narcissistic. However, they also are empathic. Now we are seeing people with very little empathic traits. Communism is in our schools churches, music and books and tv. Learn about the history of communism. The wall in Berlin came down and the infection spread. Look up how many countries are now run by a communist dictator. In fact just ask your Alexa what is commuism. She will tell you Communism is a far-left ideology etc.
Yes we owe are parents respect . As a nurse I cam honesty say most of you wi be left in a nursing home in you're old age. Your children will rarely visit you. If they don't leave you sooner. You sit behind your screens judging estranged parents. An yet you yourself have Mads many mistakes. An you have no right to judge anyone. The day will come when your time is up. Rather you believe in Buddhism Christianity etc You will answer to Jesus. So you decide do something to stop commuism from ruining family's before its to late. Because everyone here is already a commuist. Denying it won't make everything better. So instead of spending your time judging research and study. Otherwise you and I will see each other in camps sooner than later. Many of my people suffered under the Nazis.
@@abecker930the comparison to animals was an analogy. animals raise their young without any expectations in return. they operate purely on instinct, to increase the odds that their young survive infancy to ensure the survival of the species.
You missed the point of the comment you replied to. Children don't owe parents for raising them, and parents aren't owed contact by their adult children. I don't raise my kids with any expectations from them in return. I brought them into this world, so it is my duty to raise them so they can survive in the world. Animals do this by instinct, humans out of moral duty.
GenX parents that are nice and respectful to their kids do not get ditched. Screw this Diane lady. She's angry that she couldn't control herself and be a good mom.
I say that all the time when EP's screech, "My child just wants to control me!" Me - "Nope. We want you to learn to control yourselves like healthy, 'normal', pro-social people."
@@ellyk8834communist
Another great video. I really enjoy both the narration style and video editing. I hope this channel continues growing!
Thank you so much!
After watching her video for a few minutes i knew exactly why this woman's poor daughter didn't want any contact with her....a monster
As an estranged Boomer daughter, the biggest mistake I see parents make in this situation is immediately going to social media to make their case instead of seeking counsel from a family therapist. That shows me that you don’t care about reconciliation, you just care about being perceived as being a victim. I put up with some pretty heavy daily abuse for 45 years before I finally grew a spine a set some boundaries. That’s all I did. My mother responded by cutting me off but told everyone that would listen that it was the other way around. She’s struggled with mental health her whole life but refuses to deal with it. As a result all four of her children and her only grandchild deal with mental health struggles as well. Some people just can’t self reflect, it would kill them.
Yeah. But then she could have had the decency to not have kids and spread the pain? But some people don't know they don't HAVE to have kids.
I'm not a mental health professional but watching Diane's videos I feel like she really truly needs to see a therapist. I can see why her daughter went no contact. My narc mother can be like this, she's always innocent when the topic of her abusive parenting comes up and she will talk about everything in the world except the actual issue. And then act as though she was talking about the issue the whole time and anyone who tells her the truth is the problem. And no matter what generation you are, cutting off a parent is never easy and is 9 times out of 10 about self-protection and healing.
She's now the "National Poster Child" for how these Malignant Narcissists are not only indifferent but also impervious to any and all outside influences guaranteeing the success of their mission. Like dedicated Kamikaze Pilots they cannot and will not be deterred from their duty of destruction. Even identified confirmed and confronted with being fully recognized for what they are and what they do they continue on. With their last breath they will continue on. I've seen them do it.
To quote Diane herself "[she] doesn't give a shit (smirk)"
@@fridaytax Pre...Cisely!!! She should win the Amber Heard/Taylor Swift Lifetime Achievement Smirker Award...
The changing poltical and cultural ideology in society had nothing to do with why her daughter went no contact. Diane is desperately grasping for straws to avoid accountability for her own behavior.
Unless she was sick and tired of listening to her mother spout that garbage.
I’m Gen X and I cut my dad off for not taking accountability, lying about having cancer, not apologizing and gaslighting me! I think a lot of us are waking up and no longer okay with being treated like garbage!
I hope her daughter is okay! We can all see how gaslighty her mom is and her refusal to take accountability!
For a non boomer she sure seems to labour under the delusion kids owe you a life debt for being born
Sounds like you're well shot of your dad. Sorry that happened to you but be assured you were in the right. All kids deserve parents not all parents deserve kids.
I’ve followed this discussion about Diane on a few channels. She certainly has stirred up a lot of feelings, mostly negative due to her demeanor. Your videos popped up and I have to tell you, you have the absolute best narrating voice! You could be hired for voiceovers or narrating audiobooks!! Truly. I always love your insight and points of view on Diane. Great job with your video and your channel should have WAY more followers!!!
You make a great point, she’s in no position to give anyone parenting advice. I’m so glad the Internet didn’t exist when my psycho mother was stalking me to the point that I was granted a Restraining Order.
Poor Haley. Imagine having an army of trolls coming after you because of this horrible woman who lacks all insight. At least I was spared that. This woman is only an expert at one thing -manipulation.
Just found your channel today and love hearing your thoughts! Thank you for sharing your reflections and reactions - you have such a reasoned, considered, calm approach. Looking forward to the next one & have a great day!
Thank you I appreciate it!
My #1 reason for going no contact with my mother was childhood abuse that she would never acknowledge. We could never have a real conversation about the things that happened because she would never admit to any abuse. She denied everything. When she died of cancer at 75 yrs old, she hadn't changed. She never admitted to anything that happened. Never. That's why I went no contact. She also was continually abusive during my life.
This woman is sad and her total gaslighting of her daughter is beyond comprehension she is such a narcissist
At a certain age all fledglings head out. It is what is supposed to happen. This child realized that upon seeing the open skies (open minds) that she had been caged by her narcissist parent(s?). Good luck to her and may she fly freely and high.
LOL!
@@candaceorr7517 why the Lol? I’m curious
I think the way she is trying to make money off of this is kind of gross.
More than kinda. And the fact that this is her fourth (if I remember correctly) channel that she has tried to monetize makes it seem like she is opportunistically using her estrangement. Which feeds back into that whole “narcissistic “ thing people have been wondering about…
I’m really loving your videos and I appreciate you watching her videos for us.
I can’t understand why instead of apologising and accepting her part in her daughter’s trauma she went to much more effort to find another way to show her disapproval to her daughter.
I just went no contact with my mum on my 51st birthday and my mum was upset because it was also her birthday. Big surprise, we don’t share a birthday. So, the birthday part in the video, triggered me. These people are like peas in a pod.
She talks about a breakdown in society but there is now community available for everybody including herself. She blames a lot of things including younger generations and TikTok but she could learn so much from both of them
One of the things I love about life today is the ability to find community! Younger people are finding it in ways I never could when I was young. It's brilliant.
I can just imagine her a hundred years ago, raving on her front porch about how jazz, liquor and short skirts are eroding society. It’s always some ominous social issue instead of “am I an @sshole?”
I'll try to watch them
So you don't have to lol
I'm sure if an estranged millenial is asked, they will speak up. The daughter informed the mom several times and in different ways. Problem is mom isn't listening. She needs to stop focusing on getting answers from outside and look from within.
My child owes me nothing. Being a parent was MY choice and because I chose that, I owe my child the best I can give - THE end. What do I get out of it? Seeing my child healthy and at peace, and being a productive member of society.❤
No one owes me anything. Take care of yourself and love others. period. (Sometimes we do need help, especially as we age, but being entitled about it? HELLA NO.)
Incredibly twisty knots Diane weaves in order to shift the blame from herself. What a nightmare mom she must’ve been! Enjoyed your take on this difficult situation… new subscriber here from 🇨🇦
Wow. Thanks for giving all the background, Snaruh. I appreciate the insights I am a semi-estranged mom who appreciates my daughter's advice that I work on myself. Banned from Facebook group You Are Not Alone for Estranged Parents when I posted Diane's first video as a what not to do tool
watched a *lot* of coverage on diane's videos & *really* appreciate your take, i can't believe you have so few subs but imagine i'm just one of many new ones this video will bring you!
Speaking from the basis of my experience, I have absolutely no doubt this woman fully knows what she did. The issue is that she will not stand for the suggestion that she doesn't have every right to dominate, control and terrorize her, nor for the fact that the daughter has every right to put her at distance. So here she js trying to round up a mob of strangers through social media to do her bullying for her. I also feel pretty confident the goal, at this point, is much more about spitefully punishing the daughter for daring to go against her, than it is about any real expectation of forcing her back into compliance.
The victimhood is so strong even in the big red sign other her face, indicating a status of being denied existence, being forbidden. In no way do I want to invalidate the pain of being estranged, but she is turning her experience, herself, into a brand or fetish of victimhood. A dangerous game.
I see right through her, and her soul-murdering repels me.
I just clicked on this and had to laugh. I responded to her first video and she came for me about a dozen times. 😂 I got bored and blocked her. ❤
Same happened to me. She absolutely refuses to believe that she is not perfect.
These parents do the impossible to destroy the relationship they have with their kids and then claim to be good parents, have good intentions and deserve the respect they don't give.
"These parents do the impossible to destroy the relationship they have with their kids"
This is great language. They really contradict nature itself, wild.
Sounds like she'll do anything but listen to her daughter
she is so smug! i feel bad for her daughter...she is so condescending
If there is a conspiracy to break up the nuclear family, then how does it even apply to her situation? Her daughter is 30. She is an adult who could have her own family. She does not need to live with mom and dad in a permanent nuclear family unit.
I told my adult children that if they ever need to go NC from me, I will regard it as part of their growth and will cheer them on, and would also be sad. I trust they have good judgment about their own needs.
Diane's videos only serve Diane and any solidarity she is getting is from like minded estranged parents. The incapability of becoming introspective and blame shifting just shows her grandiose delusions; she seems absolutely insufferable. Diane also does not share the letter that her daughter wrote to her and has formed her own story about what it said which shows that Diane is not being transparent with her own narrative. I'd wager that her daughter tried numerous times to have a conversation and was dismissed or shut down. I'm not surprised and nor should she be that her daughter cut contact so deeply and permanently. Parents make mistakes but that isn't a viable excuse for not wanting to better your relationship with your children.
I'm genuinely curious what Diane means by an estranged child's "obligation to the people who raised them." (6:11)
Thank you for talking about this wild lady. I just about melted when I saw her first video. So unaware of herself
Me too! For a second, I actually thought it was a joke!
Why is she smiling through all this, does she think this is funny? She probably does 😂
My estranged mother has used other people to try to contact me sought out my number from relatives and used it to get me alerted for things that have to do with her, multiple fake dying scares (not even sick just lying to get me to possibly reach out or come to visit her) it’s been three years and I’m so glad to have her out of my life I can imagine how embarrassing having this lady as a mother would be
So sad and just think what goes around comes back ! So when you are older unstable sick etc you will suffer . Only you can change it by being empathic and forgive your mother . You clearly are part of the communal narcissist revolution.
Hahahaha just apologize, have some humility, get some therapy, and perhaps you’d find a road back to your daughter. The “fourth turning” has NOTHING to do with why your daughter no longer speaks to you. Get real, lady.
God bless the therapist and professionals who showed compassion and cared for her daughter, helping her see how important her life is and how valued others find her.
This woman will go on being a vapid and emotionally bereft individual who blames the world for her actions.
Thanks for your calm approach
No child, unless mental illness is involved, will become estranged from their parents unless they feel their emotional survival is at risk.
All the theories about entitledment, society, generation ect go out the window when you are talking about such a primary relationship such as parent and child.
For a child to feel that their only option is to go no contact, must be a devastating choice and one that is rooted in survival, not being a brat.
And how frightening it must be to finally make that choice but to choose courage over fear!
I hope her daughter goes completely underground on Tiktok. New name. So her parents can no longer follow her.
It is kind of funny how she views the relationship with her daughter through the lens of power. If we think through her arguments at the most basic level, she is saying that government policy erodes family values by making it more difficult for parents to exert social or financial pressure on their children. But she never asks why the dynamic between a parent and a child has to be one of obligation and coercion, instead of love and community.
"the Fall of Western Civilization"
yeah, okay, that tells me all I need to know about Dianne
Wow. Her daughter cuts her off for good reason, and she figures out - once again - how to ignore the real problem and blame it on the collapse of society? Just one more way she avoids looking at herself or gaining any fresh insights at all. Unreal.
Mom’s telling on herself and every video she makes puts her deeper in the hole. We can see her all too terrifyingly clear. I bet her daughter tried as hard as she could for years longer than most of us would have.
@@elisabethhughes6005 no doubt! The situation didn't happen overnight.
The thing that put me off most was when she said her channel wasn't for adult estranged children. Why would you say that? Ignoring that demographic, why would you say that to an audience of mostly estranged parents? If I started a channel with this content as an estranged adult child, I would actively hope to have estranged parents and children talking in my comments and taking some perspective from each other to use in their own personal life reconciliation. Why would she say something so isolating and self-defeating to so many parents who would likely be seeking advice about how to reconcile with their children? She seems like the divisive one to me.
She seems resentful that children have avenues of escape and are no longer chained to their parents and families of origin…
Any time someone blames society for a solvable problem, they show they're not interested in helping with the solution. If it's "society's" fault, then there's nothing that can be done. I don't care if someone feels that way but they should keep it to themselves, because when they spread that message it doesn't just spread laziness. As Margaret Atwood put it, when you tell people there's nothing they can do, they will do worse than nothing.
Does this lady ever look inward? To understand, acknowledge or own up to what SHE did to result in an estranged daughter? What grinds my gears is that this lady is now monetizing this (via a subscription), all of a sudden she is an “expert” to advise others😳 what a smack in the face to her daughter 🤦♀️This lady has NO self awareness
Every time I see this mother I want to cringe. She reminds me of my own horribly abusive mother that I will never talk to again. That is as kind as I. can be and she acts like she enjoys taunting her daughter In my opinion this woman is getting all of the negative judgement due to her own arrogance! I don't blame her daughter and can totally relate to the daughter!
So sorry! My mother was not like this but I could see it, you don't have to experience a narc mother to know this stinks.
That Diane said children “had an obligation to those who had raised them,” says it all …. about Diane. No they don’t. Children are not obligated to you, especially if you mentally mind effed them their entire lives as a dependent!
Children come through you, they’re not of you.Offspring are not obligated to honor dishonorable parents.
This is not a trend. I am Gen X and the generations behind me are NOT going to quiet about anything and I am here for it. I used to talk about what my family, parents, society did and I was completely ignored. Social media has changed all that, especially for women who have a platform now. Her smugness (only word I can think of for her attitude) is shining brightly! Oh and I don't believe in generational thinking. It's all a matter of choice. She does NOT speak for me. She acts more like a boomer though. She speaks the same way my mother did, who I was estranged from. I was ABUSED. I am not going to go and let someone stay in my life that does not have my best self and interest 100% at their heart. I am not decayed in anyway. I am honest and I will call you out on your BS every time.
I agree with everything you wrote. Gen x here, too.
COMMUNIST
This woman is so delusional. She’ll do virtually anything and everything to not be accountable. She never tells her audience what she did to drive her daughter away.
"She never tells her audience what she did to drive her daughter away."
Because she knows exactly what she's done (via the email the daughter sent her) would make her look bad. It's like abusers in general, if they really don't think that they've done anything wrong, they wouldn't do it behind closed doors when no-one's watching. Same thing here - If she really believes that she is so innocent, then she wouldn't have anything to hide by revealing the full story of why the daughter cut her off. Only guilty people have something to hide.
She mentioned “maybe I shook her a little too hard, maybe I spanked her a little too often”. Like, she gave her daughter CPTSD probably.
OMG! I lived with a narcissistic Mother …. NO CONTACT is your only option for a peaceful life!
We can all see why her child is estranged from her.
Stop the friggin blame game.
@@photocath stop being oblivious
@@photocath So it's okay for our parents to blame us for their bad behavior and their subsequent estrangement but we're not allowed to blame them for their abuse or the decision to end contact with them because of it?
@@ellyk8834 That is not at all what I am saying. Abuse is a two way pattern. It would be good if both parties could just talk to each other. Commmunication without blame. But maybe that is just too much to ask. If my children can blame me for abuse, I should be able to tell them that I did wrong and want to make it right, this is just an example. And not everything is possible to repent too. It's the blame game that can be very toxic. There are abusive parents but there are also difficult kids. And a difficult kid does not call for abusive parenting. I feel like it's making it hard to be in a thread like this because there seems to be no grey. It's all black and white. Tiresome.
"abuse is a two way pattern". Jesus H. Christ, I'll pretend I didn't read this borderline criminal statement.
FYI: this "Fourth Turning" nonsense is a favorite theory of the once and future felon Steve Bannon.
I feel like the "estrangement" isn't "going no contact." They seem notably different to me.
I agree. I feel like estrangement is a slow burn, a slow pulling away over time? No contact is more abrupt, in my opinion but I can see how some people see these things as one in the same. 😊
I think functionally, there isn’t a lot of distinction, and I also think that going no contact often includes some preliminary estrangement, but I appreciate people who make an effort to use precise language.
EAC’s roving the internet looking for a target? Many people that are not agreeing with her offered valid points that she just can’t seem to allow space for. She comes across as condescending when she accuses millennials of wanting universal income.
suspect *she* posted her video in the subreddit she called out knowing it'd stir up controversy & likely increase its reach for potential recruits for her paid offerings
Very condescending, throughout her videos. So condescending that it's difficult for me to continue watching.
Right. Also wanted to point out that it wasn't just EACs; other estranged parents also attempted to point out how her methods will not lead to reconciliation with her daughter and called out her politics
@@ptlovelight2971 the way she uses EAC as an insult and tries to make negative connotations about them as a group just shows a complete unwillingness to be humble. A lot of estranged adults have endured terrible abuse and have healed enough to just say no to toxic behaviour from family. It’s literally all about her and how she is wonderful and everyone else is just mean.
I’m a Gen xer as well and she seems to insist that estrangement is more unique to millennials. Estrangement happens in all generations for a variety of serious reasons like abuse, which she hasn’t addressed. Seems sus she blames so many external factors except abuse.
This lady reminds me of that scene in Repo Men.
Duke : The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.
Otto : That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me.
Duke : Yeah, but it still hurts.
❤️
When narcissists say the want open communication they often want you to explain yourself over and over again so they can focus on smal tangents you go on while talkig too avoide taking responsibility.
Stop ! You have not walked in anybody shoes. Your basically stating that all estranged parents are clearly abusive? It's not a black and white issue. We are dealing with millions of people across the world. Yes it's effecting parents worldwide. Each famiiy has different problems. Some adult children are on drugs etc. Then there is a communal world wide group of narcissistic people. They enjoy destroying families relationships etc.
There's no open communication with those people. It's always word salad + gaslighting + playing the victim.
Two daughters won't talk to her but it's not her fault lol
Dianne is not the person to speak on behalf of estranged parents. Or about the phenomenon. Or to lead a group of estranged parents. She is making it worse.
She used my group and twisted my words .
@@abecker930 Tell us more.
Both Dianne's daughters are estranged. She is nobody to take advice from, aside from what not to do.
OOOOMYYYYGOD. "Who wouldn't want a Universal Basic Income so that, you know, you can sit around and make TikToks and play games all day". Not sure if I am being "oversensitive" as my mother (who I am stranged with) would say, but does anyone else feels that it is a direct reference to her daughter - who apparently has a large following on TikTok? It feels that she still wants to lecture her child about how she is contributing to the demise of western society. I swear she sounds just like my mother.
Of course, being on UBI to make Tiktoks all day is BAD. As opposed to making youtubies all day to create a "business" out of people who are as deluded as you. That is GOOD.
Thanks for breaking down the videos, I am indeed interested to hear what she says but don't want to give her the views.
That thumbnail is gold😂
That woman takes full advantage of the society's standard that family is extremely important but she twists it - family is indeed important but it doesn't by default excuse inadequate and poor parenting for the sake of appearances in social circles.
It's such a manipulative tactic the way she ascribes inadequate parenting, childhood adversity and trauma as just a simple case of "generational differences", it's such an easy way out of accountability because generational differences do indeed exist so people might nod and agree but she twists that to her advantage, but estrangement is usually much deeper than that. She also takes advantage of the audience only hearing her side, not her daughter's, but you did a great job breaking it down at the end and labeling her preaching as it should be labeled.
American individualism is so hypocritical. It’s not true individualism. It’s utterly adolescent. It’s, “I’M allowed to be individualistic, but everyone else has to be collectivistic in order to satisfy my needs.” And Dianne demonstrates that so well. SHE doesn’t have to be collectivistic. She can complain about helping low-income people, taking precautions during a pandemic to NOT infect her fellow humans, understanding the struggles of marginalized people and how various systemic hegemonies play into them and of course, act flippant about her daughter’s emotional needs. But when it comes to her daughter not accepting her abuse and the internet practicing freedom of speech and criticizing her however they see fit? No, now, it’s, “Kumbaya! Let’s be collectivistic again! Let’s honor social contracts that don’t even exist! Let’s suppress our feelings so that abusers can keep being abusive!”
She reminds me if that 'Vegan Teacher' woman. Despite the tears, she comes across as absolutely word perfect and 100% confident. Anyone who thinks they are this right is almost certainly not😂
'I can't be wrong, because all the people who have subscribed to my UA-cam echo chamber agree with me. Anyone who posts something contrary or challenging will get a dose of my saccharine yet withering contempt'.
Diane will always be the Victim. Always Always Always
Great video - a calm, dispassionate review of Diane’s estrangement video and tortured political justifications for her personal issues. I cringe every time someone uses the word “woke” to describe someone or something they don’t like. It’s an abusive term meant to diminish and discredit.
She acts like there are no reason's behind these estrangements. My step-grandmother treated my mother horribly growing up, but was nice to me because she unfortunately took that nausea medication that rendered almost all of the children infertile. Somehow, my stepgrandmother and my biograndfather managed to have an sweet, kickass daugher, and I love my aunt to pieces.
This woman would talk shit about my dad in front of me, though I was too little to understand. I could always feel that my mom was on edge around her.My grandfather was sick with cancer most of my llife, and passed away when I was around 10. She was markedly worse after thatl The coup de grâce came at my great grandmother's funeral. She was one of 8 siblings, and she had 9 children. This was in a very small town in Louisiana, so there wasn't enough room in the church. In the pamphlet, I was listed as one of 176 great grandchildren.She started with the soft crying, and then somehow became enraged,, yelling that nobody had given her enough attention after my grandfather died, that nobody loved or paid enough attention to her daughter (everyone did, and loved her so much). She was attempting to swing to grief towards. I was talking with one of my great aunts, who stood up, told her to get out and never come back. Soon after, that stepgrandmother called my mom to try to blame everything on her. After that, she was dead to me. Didn't exist.
"She acts like there are no reason's behind these estrangements." -- that is a common theme isn't it. Of course there are reasons. No one does anything without reasons.
There are so many disconnects with dysfunctional parents and they *refuse* to see them or the wrong path conclusions they derive as a result which just compounds their problems. The 'left loving family for no reason' myth is silly at its core. Rejecting healthy love is not normal. So is there something wrong with the child that they must reject the good OR is it a case of the parent mislabeling their behavior as normal/healthy love when reality is, it's dysfunction and/or abuse.
Now clearly *they* were a good parent because they said so with the disconnect being - only your child/ren get to decide how good your parenting was. So they decide their child rejected a good parent when the reality is, their child rejected an abuser parent.
I call it their 2 + 2 = 5 math with Flat Earth mentality. EP --- "The problem is you just don't understand your parent's math and if you would just accept the Flat Earth view we have then everything would be fine. Why can't you see you are the problem?" Me - "Because I can do basic math and know the Earth is round."
I suspect the epidemic is primarily caused by controlling parents and the reason it’s more common is, because people live longer.