An Intro to the Dark Millennium but google translated grimdarkly

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  • Опубліковано 2 чер 2023
  • Original video: • Warhammer 40,000: An I...
    Narrator voiced by Hulkycrow
    Royalty-Free Music by / myuuji
    (Song: Danger - [Dark Ambient] by myuu)
    I do these by translating on Google each of the original lines through a dozen or more different languages and then translate it back to English. I repeat the operation until each line is ridiculous enough to have it voiced.
  • Наука та технологія

КОМЕНТАРІ • 170

  • @michimatsch5862
    @michimatsch5862 Рік тому +242

    "There is no vacation."
    GW somehow found a way to make the setting more grimdark.

    • @reginaldcopperbottom468
      @reginaldcopperbottom468 4 місяці тому

      In the grimdark of the 41st millenium unions have been broken and workers have no vacation

  • @Ordomalleus40k
    @Ordomalleus40k Рік тому +371

    Why does this sound like a super drunk Rogal Dorn try to explain history?

    • @PlokHR
      @PlokHR Рік тому +25

      Mno.

    • @theherbman2101
      @theherbman2101 Рік тому +23

      @@PlokHR spoken like a true son of Dorn

    • @noradrenalin8062
      @noradrenalin8062 Рік тому +33

      Father, Primarchs are immune to poison and can there not experience intoxication from alcohol.

    • @DaLkalts
      @DaLkalts Рік тому +19

      "This, is true".

    • @RichardX1
      @RichardX1 Рік тому +14

      And now you've made me want to see 40K get the Drunk History treatment...

  • @sreckocuvalo8110
    @sreckocuvalo8110 Рік тому +318

    So God is not a thief, married or dangerous, but the Syrian king spends a small fortune every day to kill him? World war One is weird.

    • @caav56
      @caav56 Рік тому +48

      Sometimes you just *really* don't like a guy, y'know

    • @censoredbybigbrother1175
      @censoredbybigbrother1175 Рік тому +14

      It was another time, mate.

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 Рік тому +13

      Such is the life of trying to explain his longing for the distant stars by drawing the attention of the spirit of Satan as seen from the window of a dream car during a rescue mission.

    • @DLuniz
      @DLuniz 9 місяців тому +6

      The European Union war was stranger.

  • @Derek147900
    @Derek147900 Рік тому +293

    The inquisition being labeled "anonymous informants" is great in so many ways.

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 Рік тому +32

      Report any sign of tomato observers to your local anonymous informant

    • @KingLich451
      @KingLich451 Рік тому +10

      and the local army, haahaha

  • @tokenfinnishguy8714
    @tokenfinnishguy8714 Рік тому +205

    Back when the emperor roamed the earth, before the age of stars, he somehow pissed off a Syrian king so bad he put a bounty on his head. This is now canon.

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 Рік тому +39

      This also lead to WWI, which lasted 14 years

    • @arya31ful
      @arya31ful Рік тому +33

      ​@@merrittanimation7721 Which pits Tomato observers, scientists, publishers, and advocates against journalists.

    • @gadrielvanorion9872
      @gadrielvanorion9872 5 місяців тому +6

      To be fair its possible he did
      The emperor canonically pissed of many ppl

  • @fetherfulbiped
    @fetherfulbiped Рік тому +198

    When you're trying to reach a specific word count for an essay - "For a hundred years the emperor ruled for a hundred years"

  • @alexSN1994times2
    @alexSN1994times2 Рік тому +74

    suffer not the tomato observer to live

    • @marsar1775
      @marsar1775 3 місяці тому +3

      i will observe all the tomatos i want

  • @NeinBreaker
    @NeinBreaker Рік тому +367

    "He lives without blood. Which is funny." Did Dorn translate this?

    • @oddtomato1049
      @oddtomato1049 11 місяців тому +30

      He did immediately sound like TTS Dorn in my head after that.

    • @tdpuuhailee8222
      @tdpuuhailee8222 9 місяців тому +5

      @@oddtomato1049 Same here

    • @ObakeOnna
      @ObakeOnna 6 місяців тому +8

      Oh no. Now I crave to hear this read in Dorn's voice. How much would we have to pay SuperAnchors to make that happen?

    • @ardenharan2201
      @ardenharan2201 3 місяці тому +3

      @@oddtomato1049I have observed you. I will now report you to my local anonymous informants.

  • @noradrenalin8062
    @noradrenalin8062 Рік тому +200

    Living without blood? Funniest shit I've ever seen.

    • @NameName2.0
      @NameName2.0 Рік тому +26

      I swear Dorn is reading this.

    • @rustkarl
      @rustkarl Рік тому +13

      Khorne is offended.

  • @DasKaiserManfred
    @DasKaiserManfred Рік тому +226

    "It was called World War 1, and it lasted for 14 years"
    Now THIS is a mod I wanna play

    • @nobleman9393
      @nobleman9393 Рік тому +19

      The Death Korps of Krieg are ready.

    • @VCMEntertainments
      @VCMEntertainments Рік тому +9

      there was this early 2002 Ego Shooter called Iron Storm taking place in year 50 of WW1

    • @caav56
      @caav56 Рік тому +1

      @@VCMEntertainments And with Bet On Soldier being a thing, it continued into 1998 - a whole lifetime of constant war.

    • @ValeBridges
      @ValeBridges 10 місяців тому

      @@caav56 Has man gone insane?
      A few will remain
      Who'll find a way
      To live one more day
      Through decades of war?

    • @mirko9141
      @mirko9141 6 місяців тому

      ​@@ValeBridges It spreads like disease
      There's no sign of peace
      Religion and greed
      Cause millions to bleed
      Three decades of war...

  • @13emstr
    @13emstr Рік тому +132

    He lives without blood.
    Which is funny.

    • @beefyblom
      @beefyblom Рік тому +10

      Corgis are also funny.
      They have small legs.

    • @KingLich451
      @KingLich451 Рік тому +7

      This is true...
      And funny. Yes.

  • @christopherg2347
    @christopherg2347 Рік тому +90

    Adeptus Astard has the _entire_ Imperial Guard as relatives? Damn, that is a large family!

  • @caav56
    @caav56 Рік тому +96

    "The only way to explain the king's longing for the distant stars was to draw attention to the spirit of Satan seen from a dream car during a rescue operation".
    Damn... this road trip to Molech seems like a great story

  • @nobleman9393
    @nobleman9393 Рік тому +60

    "For a hundred years the Emperor ruled for a hundred years" Oh my God, Wow!

  • @nobleman9393
    @nobleman9393 Рік тому +137

    The Syrian King seems like a big threat to the Imperium, Why isn't there more Lore about him?

    • @casmd2131
      @casmd2131 Рік тому +40

      The Emperor of Mankind: “Assad must go.”
      Al Assad: “Who must go?”
      Emperor of Mankind: psychically screaming in complete and total agony as he is forced to sit upon the golden throne.

    • @janedoe4929
      @janedoe4929 Рік тому +26

      @@casmd2131 This implies Assad has still been running whatever is left of Syria on Holy Terra in some form for the past four millennium just for the emperor to still die before him. 😂

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 Рік тому

      @@janedoe4929Horus was actually paid by Al Assad to rebel.

    • @ashendude3394
      @ashendude3394 Рік тому +10

      Well, not he's not a threat anymore considering there's the superpowered astromer adeptus astard, and his many relatives in high places.

  • @Big_E_Soul_Fragment
    @Big_E_Soul_Fragment Рік тому +65

    "He lives without blood. Which is funny"
    Khorne did not like that

  • @yikeswazowski9838
    @yikeswazowski9838 Рік тому +35

    Adeptus Astard, THE space marine

  • @PuebloMW2
    @PuebloMW2 Рік тому +67

    Beware the scientists, the publishers and the tomato observers.

  • @mithrahnadumar8119
    @mithrahnadumar8119 Рік тому +39

    Between Jeff (see a prior translation) and the tomato observers, Mr. Astard is gonna need All his extended family just to survive.

  • @bubbasbigblast8563
    @bubbasbigblast8563 Рік тому +43

    Ah yes, international journalists, the backbone of the Imperium.

  • @commandershortsight
    @commandershortsight Рік тому +22

    Everybody gangsta till the chief of the royal Caribbean navy takes over the galaxy

  • @chrishamilton7516
    @chrishamilton7516 Рік тому +30

    Ah yes. The first space marine.
    ADEPTUS ASTARD

    • @oliveragag8576
      @oliveragag8576 7 місяців тому +2

      All space marines were named after him.

  • @awesomehpt8938
    @awesomehpt8938 Рік тому +56

    That’s it I want to be a tomato observer when I grow up

    • @LAV-III
      @LAV-III 6 місяців тому +4

      Why do you want to be a threat to international journalists?

  • @dsagent
    @dsagent Рік тому +82

    This feels so calm like a grandpa telling a bedtime story.

  • @dwreanchinotan
    @dwreanchinotan Рік тому +41

    it seems google translate is getting better, it said imperial guard and almost said adeptus astartes

  • @Nihillus
    @Nihillus Рік тому +20

    All hail the great Adeptus Astard. Hero of the Imperium.

  • @Bell-et1lg
    @Bell-et1lg Рік тому +9

    Felt like big E was announcing his status as single at the end

  • @theoriginalcheebamech
    @theoriginalcheebamech Рік тому +9

    "there is no vacation under the stars" no war but class war

  • @attemptedunkindness3632
    @attemptedunkindness3632 Рік тому +8

    "Don't forget this in a great technical and scientific way." sounds like the preamble to a threat my psyche was not prepared to receive.

  • @BiodegradableYTP
    @BiodegradableYTP Рік тому +6

    In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only the observation of tomatoes.

  • @karsram2522
    @karsram2522 Рік тому +15

    You are the last remnant of TTS...
    I miss TTS Tails...
    I miss it a lot...

  • @ghola82
    @ghola82 Рік тому +15

    *There is no vacation under the stars*
    Never truer words spoken. Sad times. :C

  • @ananonymousnerd.2179
    @ananonymousnerd.2179 Рік тому +11

    This has done what neither Chaos nor the myriad factions of the Imperium can make me do... it has struck my mind and painfully shattered it in ways that Tzeentch would envy. Well done, Eliphas the Inheritor (unless my mind is broken to the point of mistitling you).

  • @robsilvester6213
    @robsilvester6213 Рік тому +6

    Suffer not the tomato observer to live.

  • @TheGREYPELT
    @TheGREYPELT Рік тому +7

    "Which is funny" got a chuckle out of me.

  • @Soundwave3591
    @Soundwave3591 Рік тому +15

    "God is not a big man, he is not a thief, he is neither married, nor dangerous."
    this should be at the front of every religious text ever.

  • @arturohernandez5857
    @arturohernandez5857 Рік тому +29

    I miss TTS 😢

  • @pietroarrigoni6761
    @pietroarrigoni6761 Рік тому +24

    Please, I want a transcript of this. It's magnificent

  • @rustkarl
    @rustkarl Рік тому +5

    You’ve got to watch out for the tomato observers.

  • @Ultra04channel
    @Ultra04channel 2 місяці тому +3

    This is how 40K feels to someone who's never heard of it when you're trying to explain the setting.

  • @BierBart12
    @BierBart12 Рік тому +8

    Eliphas the Translator

  • @Blackdrama20
    @Blackdrama20 9 місяців тому +6

    please never stop making these. Your "google-translated"-warhammer videos are the funniest thing I've ever seen and I always come back to them to have a good time. I cannot wait for 'Space Marine 2' to release, just for the reason that I'm excited what you will do with it.

  • @marianhak
    @marianhak Рік тому +3

    Astard sounds like an insult

  • @sasop2217
    @sasop2217 Рік тому +4

    I want to be a Tomato Observer

  • @timnotaro4286
    @timnotaro4286 Рік тому +3

    There is no vacation under the stars....

  • @thewheezychieftain5488
    @thewheezychieftain5488 Рік тому +10

    I always love seeing these.
    Luckily my family is vacationing in the Carribean rather than in Syria, hopefully the half a million year old bachelor can keep those dang international journalists off their back until they're done getting married.

    • @merrittanimation7721
      @merrittanimation7721 Рік тому +1

      Let’s hope the Syrian king doesn’t succeed in killing him before they leave.

    • @thewheezychieftain5488
      @thewheezychieftain5488 Рік тому +3

      @@merrittanimation7721 The Real Ashurbanipal's bio reads like a Doom movie script

  • @GelatinousStube
    @GelatinousStube Рік тому +3

    I HAVE GAZED INTO THE HEART OF THE TOMATO. Emperor protect me.

  • @uomoafide6539
    @uomoafide6539 Рік тому +2

    Assad trying to kill the God Emperor: "There is no vacation among the stars"

  • @AJ_DOZAC
    @AJ_DOZAC 11 місяців тому +3

    Even Google Translator knows its called "Imperial Guard" the machinespirit has spoken imperial truth.

  • @ChaosKnolle
    @ChaosKnolle Рік тому +3

    New motto, neither maried nor dangerous

  • @catdragon-6631
    @catdragon-6631 Рік тому +2

    “God is not a big man”
    One could even say hes
    Just a little guy

  • @goldiegolderman1842
    @goldiegolderman1842 Рік тому +8

    *THERE IS NO VACATION UNDER THE STARS*

  • @NovaBat92
    @NovaBat92 Рік тому +2

    Damn tomatoes and their observers causing WW1!

  • @szarvaskoppany
    @szarvaskoppany 10 місяців тому +5

    "God is not a big man" well Ecclesiarch Decius XXIII tried to explain it with moderate success...
    Can we hope @Eliphas for a Darktide video translation?

  • @cnlbenmc
    @cnlbenmc Рік тому +3

    Well Eliphas is still Alive!

  • @MrMysticphantom
    @MrMysticphantom Рік тому +5

    Noooo.. I wanted vacation under the stars

  • @Kikai155
    @Kikai155 Рік тому +7

    It's been 2 Months since uploaded Eli. You came back when we need you the most.

  • @Advo42069
    @Advo42069 Рік тому +5

    This is canon

  • @MW2proification
    @MW2proification Рік тому +5

    Truly, a poem for the ages!

  • @RipNTear666
    @RipNTear666 Рік тому +1

    "there is no vacation under the stars" nice euphemism for "there is only war"

  • @aaravk4209
    @aaravk4209 Рік тому +2

    the inheritor has finally dropped a video

  • @dominikfittschen2955
    @dominikfittschen2955 Рік тому +5

    This is a translation made by the Adeptus Mechanicus using an old STC called the google an all knowing all seeing eye.

  • @NameName2.0
    @NameName2.0 Рік тому +2

    "Tomato Observers" sounds sexual.

  • @MaticTheProto
    @MaticTheProto Рік тому +3

    I live these. The verbal equivalent of „never let them know your next move“

  • @Lemon_Inspector
    @Lemon_Inspector Рік тому +3

    Excerpt from a history lecture given on a fringe world after it had lost contact with the wider Imperium for several millennia.

  • @ardenharan2201
    @ardenharan2201 3 місяці тому +1

    Adeptus Astard, Astronomer and Superhero, sounds like he could be a legit DC character.

  • @powercore2000
    @powercore2000 Рік тому +3

    Damn who knew the syrian king hated the emporer so much

  • @xzenitramx666
    @xzenitramx666 Рік тому +3

    Dear emprah this is just telling the actual world.

  • @williamadams5471
    @williamadams5471 Рік тому +2

    When ChatGPT tackles Grimdark.

  • @MadDemon64
    @MadDemon64 Рік тому +2

    I lost it at "tomato observers".

  • @beefyblom
    @beefyblom Рік тому +2

    so everyone's talking about world war I but not the fact it was called that because the president requested it?

  • @xzenitramx666
    @xzenitramx666 Рік тому +5

    I was just thinking about this one lol.

  • @theathryl
    @theathryl 29 днів тому

    "For a hundred years the emperor ruled for a hundred years."
    I'm shocked. I'm flabbergasted. You might even say that I'm gobsmacked.

  • @olivier5251
    @olivier5251 4 місяці тому +2

    The Syrian king sounds like a baller

  • @robinrobinushesler1224
    @robinrobinushesler1224 9 місяців тому +2

    This is truly grimdank 😂😂

  • @Sprassill
    @Sprassill Рік тому +2

    Deep lore.

  • @vladmods
    @vladmods Рік тому +1

    Impressive impressions of the most impressed kind.

  • @ValeBridges
    @ValeBridges 7 місяців тому +3

    So the speaker claims to be 411,000 years old, or 411 ka, but humanity by the 41st millennium has only existed for like, at most 368 ka or something like that. This raises the question; Who is narrating?
    A xeno? A time-travelling perpetual? An Artificial- um, a _Machine Spirit_ that's lived numerous subjective years?

  • @user-xb1wh5mt4l
    @user-xb1wh5mt4l 9 місяців тому +2

    I didn't know that the Syrian king is the Emperor's worst enemy...

  • @heirtoroma4152
    @heirtoroma4152 Рік тому

    I got really excited for a moment when I saw this… Maybe one day again ❤

  • @strat550
    @strat550 11 місяців тому +1

    I think I'm going insane

  • @oddtomato1049
    @oddtomato1049 11 місяців тому +1

    I feel observed.

  • @marcelbyrd7745
    @marcelbyrd7745 Рік тому +3

    Based on that part about him having no blood that mean you can't kill him because you know that saying that most soldiers say when they being movies you know the part about if it bleeds you can kill it you can't believe without blood💯🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @killierjops4170
    @killierjops4170 Рік тому +1

    Abraham Lincoln welcome back

  • @pertys_socks
    @pertys_socks 11 місяців тому +2

    The remembrances on Russ’s flagship be like:

  • @lysytoszef
    @lysytoszef Рік тому +1

    Oh boy, did I LOLed out loud :D

  • @gigachimp3608
    @gigachimp3608 Місяць тому

    The syrian king pays thousands of dollars a day caught me so off guard lmfao

  • @Fighterpilot555
    @Fighterpilot555 Рік тому +2

    Damn it Dorn that's not how the translator works

  • @BlackWolf1589
    @BlackWolf1589 Рік тому +1

    This is a very dark time

  • @accckiy
    @accckiy Рік тому +1

    Well, some of it makes even sense, LOL!

  • @villekokko9943
    @villekokko9943 Рік тому +2

    I want to write this novel.

  • @QuantumIceCube
    @QuantumIceCube Рік тому

    god bless you Eliphas

  • @Señor-Donjusticia
    @Señor-Donjusticia Рік тому

    Da Emparah: Dey be my Caribbean Space Marines, man!

  • @Despargo
    @Despargo Рік тому +1

    Adeptus Astards... Adeptus Asstards... Adeptus Ass Tards...

  • @HBoggggggggg
    @HBoggggggggg Рік тому

    I will remember

  • @adrianmillard6598
    @adrianmillard6598 Рік тому

    I'm begging you to make more of these. Do one on Roboute Guilliman...

  • @Nicache1918
    @Nicache1918 Рік тому

    Wouldnt be surprised if this kind of stuff was what some uneducated planets get of the Imperium's history.

  • @villekokko9943
    @villekokko9943 Рік тому +2

    Which is funny.

  • @unclesam1756
    @unclesam1756 Рік тому +24

    Better lore than anything GW is currently producing

  • @matthewplatz4572
    @matthewplatz4572 Рік тому

    It's different...